The ML Show: Should She - Mom Is Being Used
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00:00Got a should she and Kylie sent us a message and she wants to know if she should tell her mom.
00:09Kylie says her mom has a new boyfriend and she has really low self-esteem after her last breakup.
00:18She divorced my dad two years ago and has been on the dating scene since.
00:23So it's been a while.
00:25She met some doozy.
00:27She says this guy has been hanging around the house for months.
00:33He is spending almost every night at our house.
00:36He works as a landscaper, but seems to always be around.
00:39He eats our food, watches our apps and does very little around the house.
00:44My mom is totally being used, right?
00:47Should I tell her?
00:50How does a child parent the parent?
00:54How does a child give a parent some advice?
00:57It's not easy.
00:59It really is not easy.
01:01And I will just say this.
01:03The more pushy you are, the more you will push her into his arms.
01:08Yeah?
01:08Yes.
01:09It's interesting.
01:10So you can't really tell her.
01:14You have to suggest or let her see for herself because as a mom, even if she really trusts your opinion, she wants to be right so badly.
01:30Do you think she's thinking the mom is thinking about Kylie in any of this?
01:34No, no, no, no, no.
01:35But she should.
01:37Yeah.
01:37She should be concerned about a guy sitting around her house all day.
01:41We also don't know how old Kylie is.
01:43Okay.
01:44I mean, she looks like...
01:46Did you stalk her Insta?
01:47A little bit.
01:48Okay.
01:48Is she in college or high school?
01:49She looks like she's around like early, early, early 20s.
01:54Okay.
01:56Okay.
01:56So she's home or, you know, whatever.
01:58But she's probably there with this guy when Kylie's mom's not there.
02:02Oh, I mean, I don't think...
02:04I don't think that that is what she's saying here.
02:08I think she's more concerned with her mom being used than hanging out with dude around the house.
02:15Should she?
02:16Should Kylie tell her mom that she's getting used by a guy?
02:20There's something that Kylie doesn't like about this guy.
02:23You listed a bunch of things, and there's probably more.
02:26I bet she's not affectionate.
02:27I'm just guessing.
02:28Maybe talks badly to Kylie's mom.
02:30Don't know.
02:31Right?
02:32But I don't think you can come right out and say it.
02:34Personally, I don't think that that's the right way to go.
02:38You have to let mom see it for herself, but I would love to hear your opinion.
02:42Anonymous and Charlotte, good morning.
02:44Good morning.
02:46Well, they say conversation is an art,
02:48so I would try to put my concerns in the form of a question very casually to the mother.
02:56So, Anonymous, what kind of questions would you ask?
03:00Well, like, wonder if so-and-so could swing by the store
03:03and wonder if whatever his name is has got some goals for, you know,
03:10where does he hope to be in 10 years?
03:12Where do you want to be in 10 years?
03:14Ooh, that's a good idea.
03:16Maybe bring it up in, like, I like where you're going with that, Anonymous.
03:20Like, maybe bring it up in, like, casual conversation at the dinner table.
03:23Like, you know, I've just, I've always wanted to do this.
03:26I think I'm going to set the goal for the next three years.
03:29Then you just casually look over and say,
03:31so what are your goals for the next three years?
03:33I don't know the next three years, but I know the next three hours,
03:37my goal is to finish Breaking Bad on that Hulu of yours.
03:40But then maybe mom will see.
03:42A lot of texts coming in.
03:44I agree with Loren.
03:45Kylie should say her piece once, but assume it will fall on deaf ears.
03:48Hang on, Kylie.
03:49Your mom loves you, but she's probably not in a good place to hear you right now.
03:53You said it.
03:54Kylie said it in the message to us that mom is kind of in a weird space right now.
04:00Yeah.
04:00Low self-esteem.
04:02Yeah.
04:02So the fact that this guy's giving any attention to her.
04:05She's all in.
04:07Someone said, I think the power of companionship is going to overthrow many things,
04:10many of those points that Kylie has to make about this guy.
04:13One huge factor is mom does not want to feel lonely, sad, but true.
04:16Yep.
04:17All right.
04:17So here's what we're doing, Kylie.
04:19We know you're listening.
04:19Do the whole question thing like, hey, any chance?
04:23Maybe you can run to the grocery store for us tomorrow.
04:25Yep.
04:26Set him up to look like a jackass in front of mom.
04:29And you know what?
04:30Who knows?
04:31Maybe he'll rise to the occasion.
04:32Maybe he just needs a little guidance.
04:33But either way, mom's going to see what's going on.
04:36And maybe, just maybe, in a few years, we'll all be at the wedding.
04:41Oh!
04:42Ha!
04:42Ha!