Full Video: Weddings - why we all love them! || Acharya Prashant, with IIT-Ropar (2023)
Link: https://youtu.be/UbZmwf_5e-8
Video Information: 25.01.23, IIT-Ropar, Greater Noida
Context:
~ Big Fat Indian Wedding
~ Why is India crazy about weddings?
~ Wedding is a celebration of a subjugated consciousness.
~ What is a wedding celebrating?
~ Why is marriage such a big deal?
~ Why do Indian parents force for marriage?
~ What deserves to be celebrated?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Link: https://youtu.be/UbZmwf_5e-8
Video Information: 25.01.23, IIT-Ropar, Greater Noida
Context:
~ Big Fat Indian Wedding
~ Why is India crazy about weddings?
~ Wedding is a celebration of a subjugated consciousness.
~ What is a wedding celebrating?
~ Why is marriage such a big deal?
~ Why do Indian parents force for marriage?
~ What deserves to be celebrated?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
ЁЯУЪ
LearningTranscript
00:00I'll see you next time.
00:30I'll see you next time.
01:00Hello.
01:01Namaskar, sir.
01:03Am I audible?
01:06Yes, you are.
01:08Yeah.
01:09Hi, sir.
01:10Hello.
01:11I am an tech alumni of IT Roeper, double department.
01:14And it's been a pleasure to meet you again.
01:17Last year, Guru Purnima also had an opportunity to discuss with you on climate change hypocrisy,
01:25where you have given us some real deep insights on the issue and which really enriched us all.
01:34And so today, directly getting back to my question.
01:38Today, my question is related to Indian weddings.
01:42Since in the last two months only, November, December, we saw like on every consecutive day, there were some like what we say wedding season, like there were some barats and possessions and a lot of noise.
01:56And even social media was flooded with the pics and videos of like royal, luxurious weddings,
02:04and which is being followed not only by the film stars now, and that is being now followed by the masses as well.
02:11Like even the common middlemen, they are also making up those marriage ceremonies like that.
02:16And even because of this reason, even I stopped using Facebook as well.
02:21Whenever I open my account, I just see my feed flooded with like some marriage or some pre-wedding shoots from some of my relatives or some of my friends.
02:31So like while I was like looking at all these things, I read some results of some survey, which were related to Indian,
02:43related to our country.
02:45So which showed that about 60% of Indian families spent about their more than a year's annual earnings on the wedding ceremonies.
02:56Even more shocking was like about 20% of Indian families spent even like their lifelong earnings in the wedding ceremony.
03:06And among these people about like more than 60 or 70% people were those who actually borrowed money to finance these weddings.
03:15So I've been in a middle class family.
03:18I know like how hard it is for a common man to earn and like he spent like all this, he do all this hustle to earn this much money.
03:28And then in the next side, I see that within two days, they just spend all that money just like in fraction of seconds.
03:35So it is like very much shocking for me. And, and also like during this survey, I got to know that this was not the case, like about 30, 40 years back.
03:48Previously, the scenario was like, about like, what would say 30, 40 years back, people do have marriage ceremonies, but it was in small number with small budget.
04:01And even way back in 1975, even in some states, there were regulations that in a wedding ceremony, there should not be more than 25 people in that gathering, what even COVID forced us to do.
04:15So like, I just wanted to like, hear your views on this, like, how we like why we Indians are so much crazy about big fat Indian weddings.
04:26And, and you, you might have seen this trend as well, like few years ago, they started pre wedding shoot.
04:33Now, I think they're even starting this pre engagement shoot after this may not some pre pre what they will do.
04:40So, I just wanted to hear your views on this like, why we are so much like crazy about this.
04:49This should not surprise you.
04:55A wedding is the most celebration of a subjugated consciousness.
05:10We are people of consciousness, right?
05:12Our species, the homo sapiens.
05:16We have consciousness, we think, we formulate, we conceptualize.
05:27So, there is this consciousness.
05:32And this consciousness is subjugated to the body.
05:37That's our condition.
05:40Before you understand why weddings mean so much to us and why there is so much clamor and such a big flow of money,
05:52you'll have to understand who we are and therefore what is this wedding thing in the first place.
05:59We are people with enslaved consciousness, a consciousness that is slave to the body.
06:13More politely, more classically, it is called a body identified consciousness.
06:20But that does not really expose the real state of consciousness, if so politely put.
06:36If you really want to understand how we are within, then the word subjugation is much more appropriate and revealing.
06:48So, we are people whose minds are full of bodily business.
06:59Our thoughts are all full of bodily business.
07:03At the same time, we aren't exactly animals.
07:08Though the moment we say that our minds, our lives, in fact, are full of bodily businesses,
07:16one is tempted to say that we are de facto animals then.
07:20Because it's animals that are characterized by being almost 100% body identified.
07:28An animal, its entire life is driven by its bodily imperatives.
07:34Right?
07:35The body says get up.
07:36The animal gets up.
07:37The body says I am hungry.
07:38Get me food.
07:39The animal starts running around.
07:41The body says I am tired.
07:44Let's sleep.
07:45The animal falls to sleep.
07:47The animal does not have to think.
07:49The animal does not have to decide.
07:52The body decides for the animal.
07:54Whatsoever the body says, the animal has to do.
07:59And you cannot make the animal do something that the body is not asking it to.
08:10We are very very close to the animals unfortunately in the sense that we too live lives that are
08:20very body centric.
08:24But we cannot openly declare that.
08:27Because we think we are not animals.
08:31If you openly declare that all you live for and live as is the body.
08:37It would be a thing of shame.
08:41Not so much internal shame, but much more social shame.
08:50We are subjugated to the body, we are also slaves to the society.
08:56Right?
08:58So, even though we have to live as bodies and live for the body, we try to pretend as if
09:09we are higher beings living for nobler causes.
09:13That's just a pretense.
09:15But nevertheless, we continue with that pretense.
09:18Now, the body, what does it want?
09:23What is its ultimate desire?
09:26The body's ultimate desire is to have pleasure and to avoid death.
09:34Have pleasure, avoid death.
09:39Hmm?
09:40Have pleasure, avoid death.
09:43These are the two things that the body wants.
09:46And because we are body identified people, to ensure these two things, we have come up with the institution of marriage.
09:56Marriage ensures continuous supply of sexual pleasure and also the pleasure that comes from emotional and financial security.
10:15Also, marriage ensures reproduction and that's what the body wants.
10:22Its own continuity in the form of other smaller beings of its own type.
10:30Hmm?
10:31Are you getting it?
10:34So, because marriage represents exactly what this animal body wants and we are very, very bodily people, therefore, we go bonkers on weddings.
10:51Do you understand?
10:52I am living as the body.
10:55I might not be declaring that because I pretend to be a higher being.
11:01If somebody tells me I am an animal, I feel offended.
11:05Hmm?
11:06So, I will not openly declare that I am the body just like animals and I live just for the sake of bodily things.
11:13What are bodily things?
11:14Security, pleasure, reproduction, and that's all.
11:22What else does the body want?
11:24So, if you look at the life of the ordinary man, which is pretty much everybody, we all are living just for the sake of these things.
11:33Are we not?
11:34We say happiness is the purpose of life.
11:36We say your life is incomplete if you don't have kids.
11:40And by all means, we want to have measures of security and armors all around us.
11:48Hmm?
11:49We want to collect money so that we feel secure.
11:51We cultivate a network of relationships so that we feel secure.
11:55We try to have more and more knowledge so that we feel secure.
12:00Hmm?
12:01All these are very animalistic things.
12:04These are things that even an animal wants.
12:07These are not really things that separate us from animals.
12:12In fact, the more you go after these things, pleasure, security, continuity, the more you are ascertaining that you are an animal.
12:24Hmm?
12:25And now you see why the wedding has to be such a big thing.
12:30It is the biggest festival of the body.
12:34And we are animal bodies.
12:37We are dogs and cats.
12:39We are dogs and cats that must pretend that they are not dogs and cats.
12:45We are dogs and cats with a social face.
12:50Hmm?
12:51So dogs and cats can just go and mate anywhere.
12:56We are not allowed by the society to do that.
13:01Hmm?
13:02Dogs and cats just mate and litter anywhere on the street.
13:08And you don't identify a pup by its father.
13:13Do you?
13:14Or a kitten by its father.
13:16But we say we are noble beings.
13:18We are respectable people.
13:20Hmm?
13:21So we cannot just mate around like that.
13:25Hence, we organize a festival.
13:29A festival to grant us religious and social and legal license.
13:39That's called a wedding.
13:42Hmm?
13:43A wedding is the occasion where it becomes absolutely open that the biggest thing for you is pleasure
13:58and continuity and security.
14:00Otherwise, why would you be found celebrating so much?
14:05What exactly are you celebrating?
14:08You celebrate so much in a wedding, right?
14:13What exactly are you celebrating?
14:14You are celebrating pleasure.
14:16You are celebrating security.
14:18You are celebrating continuity by way of reproduction.
14:23That's what you are celebrating.
14:25Because wedding is the biggest celebration.
14:29Hmm?
14:30We all know that by our everyday empirical experience.
14:36And you two shared some data ascertaining that.
14:42And because marriage is the biggest celebration that we have, that just proves that bodily pleasure is the biggest thing in our lives.
14:52And security and continuity.
14:55Otherwise, why would you celebrate so much?
14:57What's there to celebrate?
14:58Think of it.
14:59What's there to celebrate?
15:01Yes.
15:02We are celebrating sex.
15:04We are celebrating the body.
15:11Hmm?
15:12A male body, a female body coming together.
15:15And we have gone bazooka.
15:21The entire society is dancing.
15:25And if you just ask them a very objective question.
15:27Exactly why are you dancing?
15:29What is this celebration all about?
15:31Nothing.
15:32Male cells and female cells coming together.
15:35That's the name of that celebration.
15:39Hmm?
15:42And if you call it out in an obvious and flat way, very directly, everybody would be offended.
15:55And they are offended just because they have never bothered to look at the mirror.
16:04They do not know who they are and why they are indulging in stuff.
16:20You become better as a human being.
16:25Hmm?
16:26Does the society bother?
16:28Do they come and garland you?
16:31Do you invite 2000 people and spend 70 lakh rupees?
16:37No.
16:39But now you are ready to mate a girl, have sexual union and produce kids.
16:45And everybody wants to dance.
16:47Is that not obscene actually?
16:49Is that not obscene?
16:54I used to think since I was a kid.
16:56I mean, on that stage there is that man and that woman sitting.
17:02And why are they being displayed and paraded this way?
17:08I could never bring myself to accept that probably such a thing, the same thing is going to happen with me one day.
17:21I was very clear. No.
17:23Because the whole thing is obviously vulgar.
17:28These two are going to have sex now.
17:30And everybody is jumping and hopping and shrieking and partying.
17:38I mean, seriously, is sex such a big thing?
17:45First question.
17:46Secondly, what do you have to do with the intimate affairs of those two people?
17:53Had we been a society that valued something higher than the body?
18:16Then the topic and the context of our celebrations would have been very different.
18:31It would sound weird when I say so.
18:34But you would have celebrated finishing a great book.
18:38And you would have invited people to come over and dance.
18:43Why?
18:44With great sincerity, I just completed my first run of the Srimad Bhagavad Gita.
18:57And now that's really something to celebrate.
19:00Come over everyone.
19:02And not necessarily something religious.
19:11It could be something from Marx or Dostoevsky.
19:18From the philosophy side, from literature side, anywhere.
19:21I am a better human being.
19:23Now that's something to celebrate.
19:26Two people are going to have sex now.
19:29How is that something to celebrate?
19:32And if you celebrate that, you are an animal.
19:36Because it's only animals that have nothing better and higher than sex to indulge in.
19:44Human beings are supposed to be targeting higher things, no?
19:50How can we say that my entire life savings have been reserved for a wedding celebration?
20:00But we do that.
20:02And when we do that, we do not even know what we have declared ourselves to be.
20:07Animals! Animals!
20:09We have declared ourselves to be animals.
20:15If we are so fascinated with weddings.
20:28The kid just cracked a difficult problem in mathematics.
20:38And that's something of an elevated consciousness.
20:39That's something animals cannot do.
20:40So that's something to do.
20:41That's something to do.
20:42Now that's what would make me throw a party.
20:45Not his birthday.
20:50I'll organize a great party.
20:55Why?
20:56Because my kid just cracked a great problem in mathematics.
20:59And that's something of an elevated consciousness.
21:04That's something animals cannot do.
21:06So that's something to be joyous about.
21:10You know, the kid was born this day.
21:14So I'm calling everybody.
21:15You come over and we'll cut the cake and we'll have meals and such things.
21:21What stupidity!
21:22Even animals give birth.
21:27You and your wife, in one moment of animalistic fetish, had sex and gave birth.
21:33And you are celebrating that day since 20 years.
21:39Are you mad?
21:40Even if you are not mad, you are just vulgar.
21:44You are telling everybody, you know, this was the day when we decided to fuck.
21:49So please come over and dance.
21:54Why should anybody dance?
21:57Why should anybody clap?
22:00What great achievement!
22:03What have you done?
22:05That which you have done is happening all over the place.
22:08The entire jungle is nothing but a huge mating ground.
22:22And God forbid if the husband forgets the anniversary.
22:27You know, this was the day we got licensed to have sex.
22:33How can you forget this day?
22:39And I know a lot of romantics would say, you know, this man can only see sex.
22:51Wherever he looks.
22:56Marriage is actually the union of two souls.
23:01Sex and all is incidental.
23:03Alright, let's conduct a small experiment.
23:08Let's tell the two souls that sex will not be a part of their union.
23:14Let's see whether the union still happens.
23:19Both of them will run away.
23:21Tell the husband, you can have the wife without sex.
23:26Tell the wife, the husband you will get but no sex.
23:30And then let's see whether any marriages happen.
23:33Many marriages happen.
23:36The conclusion is obvious.
23:38The two are getting together only for sex.
23:42Just that they want to pretend as if the matter is nobler, higher, more virtuous, more respectable.
23:52So you create a whole tamasha around the thing and you call the priest and you spend five crores and you want to display that you are better than dogs and cats which you are not.
24:17Exercise your imagination.
24:20Think of a more conscious society.
24:24Think of the occasions that such a society would celebrate.
24:35They would celebrate a man fighting his physical limitations.
24:42The doctors had declared somebody to be so badly impaired that he would never be able to walk again.
24:52But this person, this man or woman, just by way of willpower, kept trying, trying, exercising.
25:01And today he has been able to not just walk but actually run.
25:06Now that's something we should celebrate in the town hall.
25:11Let's call this man the entire city.
25:20Let's have a gala feast.
25:22This is something to celebrate.
25:27The literacy rates in the city have reached 100%.
25:31Now we will celebrate that.
25:34Somebody in the family had been wanting to write a small book of short stories.
25:47But he never felt inspired enough or free enough or daring enough to attempt that or complete that.
25:59Today, the book has been published.
26:02Finally, he could challenge his barriers, complete the work and get it in print.
26:14Let's celebrate.
26:15Now these are things to celebrate.
26:19One boy, one girl running around the fire.
26:30By the sound of verses, they don't comprehend at all.
26:39Verses uttered by a priest who in all probability himself does not comprehend the verses.
26:48What's there to be so happy about?
26:58In a conservative city, there emerges a girl who wins a medal in a state level athletics competition.
27:16No, we will celebrate that.
27:21We will celebrate that.
27:26Even if she does not win a medal, she just manages to participate.
27:30We will celebrate even that.
27:33That is something that deserves our respect.
27:39What is meant by a celebration?
27:42You do not celebrate your meanness.
27:46You do not celebrate your fall.
27:51You do not celebrate being an animal.
27:54You celebrate when you rise.
27:56Don't you?
27:57That's the very definition.
27:58You celebrate your rise.
27:59You celebrate your ascension.
28:02You celebrate when you overcome a hard challenge.
28:09And a worthy challenge.
28:14That's what you celebrate.
28:15Those things must be celebrated.
28:17Instead, all the money is going towards weddings.
28:21With the result that just this month, it's almost becoming certain that India is already the most populous country in the world.
28:34Don't you see that level of population directly corresponds to our fascination with weddings?
28:43What is the purpose of life?
28:45Go wed.
28:48Go wed.
28:49That's the purpose of life.
28:51Still in small town India and rural India, the day a daughter is born, at least the financial purpose of the father's life is decided.
29:06Cast in stone.
29:08Now I have a daughter.
29:13So all I am doing is saving for her wedding.
29:22And the expenses that you quoted do not go merely towards celebration.
29:28A lot of that is actually towards dowry.
29:33So what is the poor father doing for the next 25 years since the girl is born?
29:40Just saving, saving and saving.
29:45And if he by chance happens to have three girls, think of his predicament.
29:52And now do you see that this fat wedding business is also directly related to female infanticide and feticide?
30:01Because if a daughter is born, you'll have to arrange that kind of wedding and dowry.
30:07And you already have two daughters.
30:10And your means do not permit you that kind of expenditure the third time over.
30:16So the moment you know that a third girl is about to arrive, you kill her in the fetus, in the womb.
30:25Do you see this?
30:34Do you also see how the wedding thing is actually very derogatory to both the groom and the bride, especially the bride?
30:46Do you see how it promotes all kinds of wasteful industries, cosmetics, gems and jewellery, the entire wedding industry, including event management and what not?
31:05And these are all very wasteful industries that provide zero value addition to the society.
31:13Still they exist.
31:14Not only do they exist, they prosper.
31:16And banquet halls, even the best of hotels have turned into de facto banquet halls.
31:26You go anywhere, what do you find is a wedding.
31:33You just go to some proper good hotel and you sit in their restaurant.
31:39You want to have a quiet cup of tea.
31:43And you cannot have that quietness.
31:48Because just next to the cafe, there would be a huge wedding being organized in the premises of the hotel.
31:57And then you call up the manager, the senior most manager you call up.
32:03And you say, sir, sir, I come to you because I love the silence and the solitude you provide.
32:12Why are you harassing me with this dhol tamasha?
32:17And it is happening continuously.
32:23You know what he says apologetically.
32:25He says, sir, we can't help it.
32:29The kind of money these weddings provide us with is irresistible.
32:36We cannot deny that money.
32:40And when weddings take place, they book the entire hotel.
32:44100% occupancy is guaranteed.
32:50If we deny these weddings, they will go to another hotel.
32:56Our competitor.
32:58And he will get a competitive edge.
33:01So we have to have these.
33:04Because the entire money is being spent on the weddings.
33:08How can the hotels now deny the wedding?
33:13So the whole atmosphere is polluted.
33:17The silliest kind of vulgar songs.
33:23At the highest volume.
33:29And you have to tolerate all that.
33:32Why?
33:33Because two beasts are coming together physically.
33:39And they are just so happy about it.
33:42They can't get over it.
33:44If there is one thing that very loudly tells of the cancer we as a society are suffering from.
34:04It is these obnoxious wedding celebrations.
34:07I will go to the extent of saying.
34:14A man who is fond of attending weddings.
34:18Is someone you should stay away from.
34:21A man or a woman.
34:23If there is someone who actually manages to enjoy being in a wedding.
34:30It is a dangerous man.
34:32Avoid this person.
34:36Any sane person.
34:42Anybody with even dimly lit consciousness.
34:47Would clearly see the horror, the vulgarity and the absurdity of the whole wedding tamasha.
34:55He will feel very misplaced, very misfit.
35:00If he is there in that celebration, he will want to run away.
35:09The horror of that cumulative action.
35:20So many people have come together and somebody is doing this, somebody is doing that.
35:25And there is a photographer and a videographer.
35:28Many of them actually are running after you.
35:31Every single thing is simply obscene.
35:36Obscene, obscene, obscene.