Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00When we're done, I forget all the endings inside my head
00:06See? I told you I looked better here, didn't I?
00:10Yeah, yeah, you're right.
00:11Or something right.
00:12I know what's best for you, baby.
00:20Oh, that's work. Gotta go.
00:22Oh!
00:23Okay.
00:25What?
00:26Oh, um, nothing. It's just...
00:28Well, I thought you said you took the day off so you could help me move in.
00:32Well, you know if I don't work, then I don't get paid.
00:34And if I don't get paid, how am I supposed to afford those fancy dinners I take you out on?
00:38Right.
00:40Speaking of, as of next week, we'll have been dating a whole year.
00:46Maybe we could do something.
00:47Well, we've been going out on dates for about a year.
00:53That's what I said.
00:54Well, that's not exactly what you said.
00:55I mean, you're not looking for anything serious, right?
00:59What?
01:01Well, I mean...
01:02I mean, I'm trying to start my business and you're waiting on a phone call from the library.
01:07I think that we're good as is.
01:10I mean, we don't have to put a label on anything.
01:12Right, babe?
01:15Yeah, right.
01:17Yeah.
01:18Okay, well, I gotta go, so I will see you later.
01:21Mm-hmm.
01:33Adam!
01:38Oh, shit.
01:43Perfect.
01:45Wonderful.
01:46Okay.
02:02Ma'am, I need you to stop what you're doing and put your hands in the air.
02:06Hands above your head.
02:08What the hell?
02:08Ma'am, if you don't cooperate, I'm gonna be forced to grab you.
02:10No, no, no, wait, wait.
02:11I'm not breaking in.
02:12This is my apartment.
02:13I live here.
02:13It's like three.
02:15What are...
02:16What are you doing?
02:17Oh, my God!
02:18I'm arresting you for breaking an entry.
02:20Oh, my God!
02:21This is my apartment, you lunatic!
02:23I live here!
02:24Do you have documentation to prove that?
02:26Yeah, check my phone.
02:27The lease is in my email.
02:28All right.
02:29We'll see about that.
02:31Email, huh?
02:32Where do I look?
02:33What do you mean?
02:34It's right at the top.
02:35Huh.
02:37Oh, what'd you look like?
02:38Yeah!
02:39Okay, can you uncuff me now, please?
02:43Okay.
02:49For the record, credit card works better.
03:00Welcome home.
03:01Who are you?
03:02Jake.
03:03Apartment D.
03:05Nice to meet you, neighbor.
03:07And you are...
03:10Noel!
03:11Pleasure.
03:11No welcome.
03:12Well, if you need a cup of sugar or a get-out-jail-free card, you know where to find me.
03:17How about an apology?
03:19For what?
03:20Protecting and serving, that's kind of my job.
03:24Oh, so your job is being an impulsive asshole who goes around cuffing innocent people?
03:28See you around, neighbor!
03:39You wish, asshole!
03:47Jerk.
03:48Who the hell does he think he is?
03:50You're under arrest.
03:52I live here.
03:54Hi, Aunt Shelley.
04:00Jakey!
04:02I'm so glad you answered.
04:03I just wanted to check in with you.
04:05I miss you.
04:06It's been so long.
04:07I miss you too, Aunt Shelley.
04:08Jake, I know these past few years have been hard for you, but your parents wouldn't want
04:13you to live this way.
04:14You're practically a recluse at this point.
04:17I'm fine, Aunt Shelley.
04:18Really.
04:19How about I come by?
04:20I can bring this lovely woman you need to meet.
04:22She's the daughter of my friend from Swim Aerobics.
04:25No, don't do that.
04:26I'm actually seeing someone.
04:29You are?
04:31Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.
04:33I didn't know if it was serious, but she just moved in, so no need to set me up.
04:39Well, I can't wait to meet her.
04:40I'll pop by sometime.
04:41No, don't do that.
04:42She's shy.
04:44Nonsense.
04:50Shelly, I have to go.
04:57What are you doing in here?
05:00I heard screaming.
05:01I thought you were in trouble.
05:02Well, it's okay for you to break in, but not me.
05:03Listen, I only came to help, but clearly you don't need me, so I'll just leave.
05:07Wait, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
05:09There's a spider.
05:11I'll just leave.
05:12Wait, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
05:14There's a spider.
05:22Uh, is that what all the festival's about?
05:26Yeah, I just can't.
05:28Here, I'll escort him out.
05:41The spider now lives in a tree outside your window.
05:46I thought you were gonna, um, thank you.
05:51Truce.
05:56Look, I'm sorry about earlier.
05:58Honestly, I thought you were trying to rob the place and my training kicked him.
06:03Yeah, truce.
06:11You were right though, I was being an asshole.
06:15Usually when I'm cuffing the innocent, it's consensual.
06:24You're cute when you're flustered.
06:26I'm not, I'm not flustered.
06:29You sure about that?
06:33Um, I'm seeing someone.
06:40Congratulations.
06:41Okay, yeah, so stop flirting.
06:44Me? Flirting?
06:46I'm just being friendly.
06:48Oh, we're friends now.
06:49I would say so, yeah.
06:51I saved your ass twice in less than 24 hours.
06:53Oh my god, however can I repay you?
06:54You want a loan? A kidney?
06:57Actually...
06:58Seriously? That was a joke.
07:00Would you pretend to be my girlfriend?
07:03What?
07:06Look, um, my aunt's coming to town and I might have accidentally told her I'm seeing someone.
07:13So you lied?
07:14Potato, potato.
07:17So what do you say?
07:18I just told you I'm seeing someone and you're a complete stranger. Why would I do this?
07:21But I'm not a stranger though. I'm your neighbor.
07:25You're friendly.
07:27Handsome.
07:29Charming.
07:31Charitable.
07:32Lockpicking.
07:33Lockpicking, yeah.
07:37Look, you would really be doing me a solid.
07:40It's a long story about my aunt.
07:41She's really worried about me.
07:42She thinks I've given up on love or whatever.
07:45Have you?
07:47Well, that's not the point.
07:50Look, I just want to give her peace of mind.
07:53All you have to do is come over for one dinner, tell one little white lie and that's it.
07:59You're not hurting anyone.
08:01Please.
08:02You'd be making a really wonderful woman very happy.
08:06She's like a second mother to me.
08:09I don't want to disappoint her.
08:11One dinner?
08:13One dinner.
08:17Fine.
08:19Great.
08:23Am I interrupting something?