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  • 2 days ago
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00:00On Yum-Sheldon.
00:01Now boarding, line 622, non-stop service to Frankfort.
00:04That's us.
00:05At this time, residents are strongly advised to use caution.
00:08God, I'm scared.
00:09Everybody, follow me, come on.
00:12Everyone's answering at your me-maw's house, see?
00:14I'm starting to get a little worried.
00:18What is all this?
00:19A miracle.
00:21It'll be better, I promise.
00:22I know you will.
00:24Oh, my God.
00:26Oh, Connie, I'm so sorry.
00:28Oh, my, my.
00:30Calm down.
00:31Don't tell me to calm down.
00:32Help me pick it up.
00:33All right, all right.
00:40What are you smiling about?
00:42Your stuffed animals blew away to Oklahoma.
00:45Good news.
00:46Found some of your underwear in a tree.
00:49Those are your grandmother's.
00:50Ew.
00:51Did you find any diapers?
00:52Yes, but only one.
00:54Use it wisely.
00:55Okay, thanks.
00:57Mary?
00:58Mary, let me finish.
01:00Everybody's okay.
01:01Oh, thank the Lord.
01:03So the house is fine?
01:04Well, ours is.
01:06What does that mean?
01:07Your mother's house is sort of gone.
01:10Gone where?
01:12Everywhere.
01:12What?
01:13Why didn't you call me right away?
01:14Well, the phones were down, honey.
01:16That is no excuse.
01:18You're right.
01:18I'm sorry.
01:19But, again, nobody got hurt.
01:21Okay?
01:21Mandy and the baby are staying with us.
01:23Your mom's a nail.
01:24All right.
01:24Well, I'll call the airlines and see where the next flight out is.
01:27Why?
01:27To do what?
01:28To help.
01:29There's nothing to do.
01:30I got it under control.
01:31Hey, where are the extra sheets?
01:33We have extra sheets.
01:34They're in the linen closet.
01:35We have a linen closet?
01:36Yes!
01:37I have to come home.
01:38Well, she almost ain't gonna be real happy about that.
01:40George, when is he ever happy?
01:41This is the greatest pretzel I've ever had.
01:46Ich bin ein Heilberger!
01:49What do you mean I don't have coverage for tornadoes?
01:53All right, fine.
01:54It's a hurricane.
01:56No.
01:57Then what the hell am I paying you for?
02:00All right, there you have it.
02:01It's a flood.
02:02Everything's wet.
02:03What difference does it make?
02:06You know what?
02:07I'd like to talk to your supervisor.
02:08Hey, how's it going?
02:14I don't have coverage for tornadoes.
02:17So call it a hurricane.
02:18I did.
02:19Flood?
02:20I tried that.
02:21Lucas?
02:22You're not helping.
02:23Oh, listen.
02:23Come on.
02:24As long as it takes you to rebuild your place, you'll always got a home right here with me.
02:33I don't want to be a freeloader.
02:35I'll pay you rent.
02:37Great.
02:37My house just blew away.
02:39You're supposed to say no.
02:40What you offered?
02:44Georgie, Mandy, breakfast ready?
02:49Dad, there's other people in this house.
02:50What just got in here?
02:52I saw you bring in a newspaper.
02:53It's not a library.
02:54Wrap it up.
02:54Good morning.
03:08Eggs on the table.
03:09Here's some toast to Vick.
03:09It's coming up.
03:10Wow.
03:10Look at you being mom.
03:12Say that again and you can make your own lunch.
03:14Oh.
03:14You're touchy like mom, too.
03:17Missy, I said I'm coming.
03:18It's Mandy.
03:19Oh, be right here.
03:24Oh, that smells good.
03:25Up yourself.
03:27You know, you're going to make a really good mom one day.
03:29How's that different from what I said?
03:31You said our mom.
03:31She said a mom.
03:32Totally different.
03:33No, it ain't.
03:35Bathroom's free.
03:36You wash your hands?
03:38Yes.
03:38Dad.
03:45What's this?
03:46Your lunch.
03:46We just had a tornado.
03:47I'm not going to work.
03:48Then you're going to help me clean the house.
03:50Dang.
03:50It's like mom never left.
03:53Sorry.
03:53It's like a mom never left.
03:55Better.
03:56How about you and me?
03:56We're going to get groceries, baby supplies, whatever else you need.
03:59Okay.
03:59Great.
04:00Other than your grandma's underwear, I have nothing.
04:02You're watching Cece today.
04:03Well, who put you in charge?
04:04Okay, just asking.
04:10Jeff, look what I found in the garden.
04:12Oh, my goodness.
04:12That's a lot of money.
04:13$1,230.
04:15It must have blown over from Connie's house.
04:17You don't know that.
04:18Rob, we have to return it.
04:20Why?
04:21What do you mean, why?
04:22It's the Christian thing to do.
04:24You said yourself she was running an illegal gambling establishment.
04:27That's true.
04:28You really think it was a coincidence that her house was the only one on the street to get torn up?
04:33Could be.
04:33Or it could be a sign.
04:36Look at the bill.
04:37Who does it say to trust?
04:40I see it.
04:43I brought you a Wiener schnitzel.
04:46I tried it.
04:46It's yucky.
04:47Shelley, sit down.
04:48Why?
04:49Just sit.
04:49I don't know how else to say this other than just to say it.
04:56We have to go home.
04:58Oh, no.
04:58Who did Germany invade now?
04:59No, nothing like that.
05:02There was a tornado back home.
05:03Everybody's okay.
05:04But your Memo's house was destroyed.
05:07But everyone's okay.
05:07That's confirmed?
05:08Thank God, yes.
05:09You're thanking the deity who sent the tornado?
05:11I'm not in the mood for this.
05:13We have to go.
05:14Why?
05:15Honey, your Memo lost her house.
05:17Well, I'm sure she has insurance.
05:18That is not the point.
05:19Well, what is the point?
05:20What would we do once we get there?
05:21I don't know.
05:23Be there.
05:24Provide solace.
05:25Lend a hand.
05:27Me?
05:27Lend a hand?
05:27You're funny.
05:28Too bad.
05:29We are going.
05:30Class is starting tomorrow.
05:31I'm not going anywhere.
05:32Shelton, do not argue with me.
05:34You are going home.
05:35Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor.
05:37I am home.
05:39You know something?
05:40I think that tornado had a silver lining.
05:42Oh, and what would that be?
05:44It just blew you right into where you're supposed to be.
05:47You mean it destroyed my house so you could have sex in the middle of the day?
05:52No.
05:53Well, yeah.
05:54Making love and living together.
05:56I don't want to live together.
05:58This is temporary.
05:59Very tough talk for a woman who didn't have tornado insurance.
06:05Oh, no, come on.
06:06I was joking.
06:07Do you think I'm stupid just because I didn't have tornado insurance?
06:11We are in Texas.
06:14I live here now.
06:18All right, Georgie and Mandy are in Sheldon's room.
06:20I'm in my room.
06:21Me, Mom, you'll be in Mom and Dad's.
06:22Daddy with the garage.
06:23Why do I get the garage?
06:24Would you rather put the baby or the old lady out there?
06:26Hey, I'm helping you.
06:28What's wrong with the couch?
06:29Like you'd fit on the couch.
06:30Hey.
06:31Actually, maybe me, Mom can take Sheldon's room and Mandy and I can take Mom and Dad's room with the bigger bed.
06:36Really?
06:36You want to sleep on the mattress you were conceived on?
06:38Yeah.
06:40Wait, you've had the same mattress for 18 years?
06:42There's nothing wrong with it.
06:43It's just ceiling.
06:44We'll be fine in Sheldon's room.
06:46Okay, I'll take the garage.
06:47Hey, you could sleep on the mattress Cece was conceived on.
06:50Sure.
06:50Whoa.
06:56What's this?
06:57She's a beauty, huh?
06:58How big is that thing?
07:00Twenty-seven inches.
07:01Don't you think this is a decision I should have been a part of?
07:04How about this?
07:04You can decide what we watch first.
07:06I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
07:08Well, then I'll decide.
07:12Walker, Texas Ranger.
07:14Tell me that's not a sign from cop.
07:16Jeez, Louise, it's like we're in a movie theater.
07:19If you're still uncomfortable, I can return it.
07:22I guess it's okay.
07:23I'll make popcorn.
07:27Why are you testing me?
07:29I need to change our return flights.
07:31As soon as possible.
07:32What are you doing?
07:33Tonight would be great.
07:34How much?
07:36Shilton Lee Cooper.
07:37I told you I'm not going home.
07:38I am your mother.
07:39What I say goes.
07:43What are you doing?
07:44Passive resistance.
07:45Good luck lifting my limp body.
07:49Your grandmother lost her home.
07:51And I feel terrible, but I can't change what happened.
07:53You could be there for your me-maw.
07:55Does she even want us there?
07:56Of course she does.
07:58Let's ask her.
07:59There's too many people here already.
08:00You'd just be in the way.
08:03No need to thank me.
08:04We could be back by tomorrow.
08:05Are you deaf?
08:06I said don't come.
08:07We will get through this together.
08:09God will provide.
08:10What's wrong with you?
08:13Nothing.
08:13Put Sheldon on the phone.
08:15No.
08:15Let me talk to her.
08:17Love you.
08:17Bye.
08:17Hi.
08:18Is your me-maw home?
08:22She took the baby for a walk.
08:24I know.
08:28Is she going to be gone long?
08:30Do you want to wait?
08:32I just made a pot of coffee.
08:34Do you like coffee?
08:35I'm about to find out.
08:37Come on in.
08:37I don't want to air condition the whole neighborhood.
08:39All right.
08:39Sure.
08:40How'd your me-maw seem this morning?
08:44Cranky.
08:45Well, she's only cranky.
08:46Can you be more specific?
08:48You may need more flowers.
08:49All right.
08:50Well, it's been pretty traumatic around here.
08:56Try some cream and sugar.
08:57Nah.
09:00That's good.
09:01So, why'd you do that pissed her off?
09:04Well, I'm not going to talk to you about none of this.
09:07Okay.
09:10What makes you think it was my fault?
09:12The flowers, your hangdog face.
09:14This is my regular face.
09:16Okay.
09:17What goes on between me and your grandma is none of your business.
09:21Okay.
09:23She totally overreacted.
09:25Mm-hmm.
09:29Maybe a little.
09:31There we go.
09:45Wow.
09:46This place is hopping.
09:47Half the town's still got no power.
09:49Check this out.
09:53Damn.
09:54I know.
09:54What is it about a tornado that makes people want to gamble?
09:57Don't know.
09:58Guess they're happy to be alive, scared they're going to die.
10:00If we had an earthquake, I bet we could retire.
10:02Here's the hope.
10:04Where's she say?
10:05She's with Connie.
10:06Cool.
10:07Oh, hey, your mom stopped by the video store earlier.
10:10What'd she want?
10:11She was just being nice.
10:12Oh, Georgie, grow up.
10:14No, I'm serious.
10:15You heard about Meemaw's house and offered us a place to live?
10:17There it is.
10:18The niceness?
10:19She's plotting and scheming to control my life.
10:21All I heard is they got two bathrooms.
10:23Doesn't matter.
10:23I am never living under their roof.
10:25You realize, even if business stays like this, we're at least two years away from getting our own place?
10:28Georgie, I am not living with my parents.
10:30Okay, what if...
10:31No!
10:32You don't even know what I was going to say.
10:33You wanted to live there by yourself.
10:35How do you do that?
10:37You made fun of her for not having the right insurance?
10:40It was a joke.
10:41The only thing I got wrong was the timing.
10:43If I said it two or three years later, everybody's laughing their ass off.
10:48Hey, look who's here.
10:50Shh, shh, shh, he's sleeping.
10:52Darn.
10:53What are you doing here?
10:55He came to apologize.
10:56Nobody's telling you.
10:57Cranky, cranky.
10:59Don't you have someplace better to be?
11:01Actually, I'm about to go run around the block.
11:02I am buzzing.
11:07Hi.
11:08I brought your flowers.
11:10I was stupid.
11:11No.
11:13I was stupid.
11:15This feels like a trap.
11:16I was embarrassed about the insurance thing,
11:18because I didn't think anything like this was going to ever happen to me.
11:21And, you know, I've lost everything.
11:24Worse, I've lost living with Mandy and my little great-granddaughter,
11:27and I liked that.
11:30Yeah, I get it.
11:31I mean, look on the bright side.
11:33You're running a successful criminal enterprise,
11:35and more you know it, you're going to have enough money to rebuild.
11:39Assuming you stay out of jail.
11:43I know two years from now, that's going to be so funny.
11:48Hey, Jeff.
11:51Huh, George.
11:54Ooh, what you got there?
11:56New TV?
11:57Yeah.
11:58Ooh.
11:59Trendy-tron.
12:00Pricy.
12:02There was a sale.
12:03Where?
12:03I don't know.
12:04My wife bought it.
12:05Probably with coupons.
12:06Lucky duck.
12:07Yeah.
12:08He don't provide.
12:09Yeah, I guess so.
12:10How big is it?
12:11Yeah, I don't really know.
12:12Well, it says 27 inches on the box.
12:1527.
12:17Hey, Dad.
12:18Mr. Jeff.
12:23Excuse me.
12:25Air, Dr. Pepper?
12:27Mine.
12:29Sweet tea?
12:33Susser tea?
12:36Ah.
12:37Mine.
12:39Beer?
12:40Sure.
12:41Danke.
12:42Bitte.
12:42Uh, yes.
12:45Gibt Einenschneider im Dorf.
12:51Oh.
12:52Grande.
12:55I'm from America.
12:57No kidding.
13:00It's good.
13:04Who's hungry for spaghetti?
13:06Oh.
13:07Didn't realize your boyfriend was staying for dinner.
13:09Is that a problem?
13:10No, just would have been nice if someone told me.
13:12I'm sorry.
13:15All right, Grace.
13:17We're still doing that?
13:18We survived a tornado.
13:22Thank you, Lord, for the food we were about to receive,
13:24and bless the hands that prepared it.
13:26Which are mine.
13:26I got it.
13:28Amen.
13:29Amen.
13:30You see, I'm really impressed how you stepped up.
13:32Thanks.
13:33It's easier now that I've discovered coffee.
13:36There's vegetables in the spaghetti.
13:37Since when do we eat vegetables?
13:38We got one bathroom.
13:40Gotta keep things moving.
13:40That's very important.
13:44Who's knocking at supper time?
13:47This is your TV now.
13:48I can't have this on my conscience.
13:49I don't want to go to hell.
13:53You'll need this.
13:56Wait.
13:57Yachty!
13:58So you're from Texas?
13:59Yeah.
14:00Where is your cowboy hat?
14:01I don't have one.
14:02Boots?
14:03No.
14:03Horse?
14:04No.
14:04Gun?
14:05No.
14:05Are you sure you're from Texas?
14:07Well, I do think I'm better than everyone else.
14:08That's mighty Texas.
14:09Gun of the shame, darling, gun of the shame.
14:13Thank you for all the joy and fame.
14:18Picture shows at the balcony was the place we'd be.
14:25Mother?
14:25Call of this country.
14:27Second seat, gold Dutch street.
14:30You were sweet.
14:30Sing it with me.
14:31Gun of the shame, darling, gun of the shame.
14:35I don't know what could have gotten into her.
14:37Probably jet lag.
14:3827 inches.
14:40We're living in the future.
14:41Well, that color is amazing.
14:43Those Japanese fellas know what they're doing.
14:45Why'd Pastor Jeff give this to you?
14:47I have no idea.
14:48You didn't ask him?
14:49He didn't care.
14:52Are you staying the night?
14:53Because we're going to need to lay a few ground rules.
14:55You know, sympathetic vomiting has an evolutionary basis.
15:07In the Paleolithic era, when one member of a tribe would start vomiting,
15:10it was a signal to the rest that they'd eaten something poisonous.
15:12Oh, scooch.
15:15Like that.
15:16You know, it's like black