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00:00Can we talk?
00:02I'm pregnant.
00:04You've got a lot going on right now.
00:06Maybe take some time off, focus on things at home.
00:08Hold on. Are you firing her?
00:10Hi, George. What's up?
00:12Georgie and I ran into a little problem at the border.
00:14What border?
00:16The Mexican one.
00:18We got arrested. What?
00:20Who is it?
00:22Arrested? What do you mean, arrested?
00:24I don't know. Some problem with customs.
00:26What were they doing in Mexico? I don't know.
00:28How many times have you got to say? I don't know.
00:30Alright, what do you know?
00:32Well, they're probably going to have to pay you some fine,
00:34and they're going to need cash.
00:35My son is going to be in jail overnight.
00:37What about your mother?
00:38Oh, she's been there before. Meemaw's in jail.
00:40No.
00:41Forget about it?
00:42Forget about it. Do I need to remind you I remember my birth?
00:44Go to your room.
00:46That was a rough day.
00:48A rough day for me?
00:55You see what I see?
00:57What?
00:58An open window.
01:01You want to make a run for it?
01:03You got a better plan?
01:04Yes.
01:05You shutting up!
01:07Son of a bitch.
01:09You shirt.
01:10You give me some seltzer, I can get that right out.
01:12Shh. Sorry.
01:13So, smuggling cigarettes?
01:15Your Honor, there was no smuggling.
01:18This is a misunderstanding.
01:20400 cartons of undeclared cigarettes?
01:22Was that over the limit?
01:24By 399...
01:25I told you not to talk.
01:27He told you not to talk.
01:28All right.
01:29Here's your options.
01:30Plead not guilty.
01:31Host a bond.
01:32Come back here for a trial.
01:33Which you will lose.
01:34Because you're guilty.
01:35Or...
01:36Plead guilty.
01:37Pay a fine.
01:38And I'll never see your face again.
01:41Well, we get the cigarettes back, right?
01:43No.
01:44How much is the fine?
01:45Why don't we say $2,500?
01:47Let's say $500.
01:48This is not a negotiation.
01:50I hear you.
01:51$750.
01:52We're done.
01:53Leon, get these clowns out of here.
01:55Your Honor, please.
01:56I really need those cigarettes back.
01:58My girlfriend's gonna have my baby, and I was gonna sell them to help pay for the medical expenses.
02:02That's a touching story.
02:04Leon!
02:05Sorry.
02:06Don't let your mind do it.
02:08Take them back to holding.
02:12How about $1,000 and you can keep my grandson?
02:15What is happening to our family?
02:17I know.
02:18Georgie and me more in jail.
02:19Mom getting kicked out of the church.
02:20Georgie having a baby out of wedlock?
02:22You know what this means, don't you?
02:24What?
02:25We really are white trash.
02:26Speak for yourself.
02:27I'm in college on a full ride.
02:29But I wish y'all luck.
02:31I really appreciate this, Dale.
02:35Smuggling cigarettes?
02:36What the hell was she thinking?
02:38It was Georgie's ID.
02:39Oh, that makes more sense.
02:41So, whose truck we taking?
02:43You're coming?
02:44My ex-girlfriend?
02:45In jail at the Mexican border?
02:47I gotta take pictures.
02:48All right, I'll drive.
02:50But we gotta stop and get filmed.
02:55Who you spying on?
02:56Meemaw's house.
02:57There's a strange woman loadering on her porch.
02:59Let me see.
03:01Should we call the police?
03:04Nah.
03:05She's too pretty to be a burglar.
03:06I don't think that's just how that works.
03:10Connie?
03:11Are you okay?
03:14All right, I'm coming in.
03:16Freeze, dirtbag.
03:18Who are you?
03:19No, no, we have the moral high ground here.
03:21Yeah, who are you?
03:22I'm a friend of the lady that lives here.
03:24I'm worried about her.
03:25That's no lady, that's her Meemaw.
03:26Are you Georgie's brother and sister?
03:28Yeah.
03:29I'm Mandy.
03:30I'm Georgie's...
03:32I'm Mandy.
03:33Oh, really?
03:34Yeah, really.
03:35And I'm worried about your Meemaw.
03:37Well, you don't have to be.
03:38She's fine.
03:39She is?
03:40Yes, Sheldon.
03:41She is.
03:42So she's not in jail?
03:43She's in jail?
03:44Well, I thought so, but maybe not.
03:46So why is Connie in jail?
03:49That's family business.
03:50Although, Mandy is carrying Georgie's baby and Georgie's also in jail, so...
03:51Georgie's in jail?
03:52Why are you still talking?
03:53That is a valid question.
03:54It's past my bedtime.
03:55Good, go.
03:56Nice meeting you.
03:57So, what happened?
03:58All I know is they had a problem at the border.
03:59Something about smuggling cigarettes.
04:00What an idiot.
04:01Hey, he was trying to make money because you got pregnant.
04:02Oh, so this is my fault.
04:03He didn't make that baby on his own.
04:04Look, you're just a kid, okay?
04:05You don't understand what's going on here.
04:06I know my mom lost her job and got kicked out of the church because you won't marry my brother.
04:11I didn't know that.
04:12I didn't know that.
04:13So, did I win this argument?
04:26Feels like I did.
04:27Okay, guys.
04:28We need to talk.
04:29Are you testing me?
04:31Is this a test?
04:32Am I Mrs. Jobe?
04:34I try to be a good person, but...
04:35Lately, it feels like you are smacking me down.
04:38Ah, you are a crazy idea.
04:40you are smacking me down every chance you get and i know that that might sound a little ungrateful
04:44right now as i load my new dishwasher that i love but can't you pick on someone else for a while
04:49who are you talking to god to yourself got it and you think like job got assessed in your faith
04:56sure would explain all the bad things that have been happening so believing in a god who's going
05:00out of his way to ruin your life is more comforting than believing there's no god at all
05:04isn't it past your bedtime i know good night wait where's your sister at me i was talking to mandy
05:09what why can we table this for tomorrow i'm running on fumes
05:15so instead of traveling around the country with me she'd rather
05:18smuggle cigarettes and rot in jail how the hell is that supposed to make me feel i don't know
05:23bad damn right bad treated that woman like a queen didn't you break up with her that was a bluff never
05:30thought you'd call it well you are coming to a rescue maybe that's the turn things around who
05:34said they want her back great you don't want her back let's try it you will say one thing
05:39i miss the sex oh she is vivacious and not just for a woman her age oh look a hitchhiker let's pick
05:46him up maybe he'll kill me do you hate georgie no no georgie's a good guy anything i hate myself
05:54for making bad decisions like having sex before marriage like having tequila before sex hey what's
06:00going on here mandy would you tell me how she got pregnant no no but you said no no uh are georgie
06:07and connie okay uh i hope so my husband just went down there to get them out okay that's good
06:16okay i'll get some keep going
06:19it was nice seeing you i'm sorry about your troubles with the church
06:24what did you tell her just the highlights oh i forgot i punched out a kid in sunday school you
06:31don't have to tell her all that maybe she'll feel guilty and marry georgie
06:36no
06:40how you hold it up i'm so good kid ain't even born yet and i'm already a terrible father you're not
06:47terrible a terrible father would have walked away thank you was my dad real pissed off no he was
06:56positively giddy about having to drive eight hours down to the border to bail your ass out your ass too
07:01yeah but i like it when he's pissed at me this will be a cool story to tell my kids someday sure oh you
07:09know what would be awesome if it was a boy we named him winston you know like the cigarettes and if it's a
07:14girl we could name her virginia virginia slims okay i think that's enough of you for now
07:33evening mary evening
07:38how come george ain't taking out the garbage he's uh
07:43i am perfectly capable of taking the trash cans out of course you are woman hear you roar
07:51i sure hope we're still gonna see y'all in church tomorrow
07:55thank you um i'll think about it
07:59how's georgie and his young lady friend great they're great
08:04has anything changed vis-a-vis their nuptials nope baby's gonna be a bastard that's what you're
08:08implying isn't it yeah not a word i like to use but most important happy healthy bastard
08:15what you said good night pastor god bless
08:29yeah i can't sleep me neither this whole man anything is a mess if you mean the nomenclature
08:38i agree norman who nomenclature the system of devising or choosing names for things for example
08:43if mandy and georgie were married she'd be our sister-in-law but they're not exactly so we need
08:47a term for the unmarried mother of our future niece or nephew how about mandy follow me if we knew the sex of
08:53the baby and it was a boy i was thinking we could call mandy net uterus because she'd be having a nephew
08:56in her uterus however niece uterus just doesn't hit the ear right i still think mandy works now
09:01there is a gender neutral term coined by linguist samuel martin in the 1950s which takes the
09:05in from niece or nephew with sibling to get nibbling so she'd be your nibbling no the baby's the nibbling
09:10maybe would be either the nibbling yes or the nibbling girl or in a sort of more traditional german
09:14suffixes nibblingo that one oh yeah that one's the winner sadly nibblingo never quite caught on but
09:20that doesn't stop me from using it in scrabble this is gonna be my christmas card what the hell
09:26what are you doing here i'm saving you you think i got that kind of cash laying around he doesn't
09:31that's why i'm saving you well damn georgie come on i have one minute now okay okay find some paint let's
09:39go i'm really sorry about this dad talk about it in the car that's just you and me great yeah it is
09:48because i'm saving you
09:56i know i messed up mm-hmm and i'm gonna pay you back every penny mm-hmm
10:04you get that i was doing this for the baby right i do which when you think about it could be a reason to
10:11be proud of me takes time think about it when i get the pictures developed you want copies no
10:24jails make you cranky
10:28still haven't heard thank you thank you those are the words but just not feeling it i'm tired i'm so i'm
10:38embarrassed could we just please not
10:44sorry
10:47you have to join any gangs when you're in there
10:51can i ask you something what were you scared of a mom got pregnant with me i was terrified
10:57i thought you scared yeah good be a fool if you weren't i don't know what i'm doing i don't know
11:06what's expected of me at least you and mom got married and we're a team yeah you got it rougher
11:11than me does it ever stop being scary i got a call from the mexican border my son was in jail what do you
11:17think fair point sorry is that all scary there's fun parts like what we went to the beach once that
11:26wasn't bad well regardless it's happening i'm gonna be a dad yes you are i hope i'm as good a dad as you
11:34are don't try to butter me up you saw that huh yeah i saw boy you are smart
11:39just to be clear i'm gonna pay you back every cent don't worry about it i am worrying about it
11:46well thank you the money as a gift and i'm gonna be holding over your head well that doesn't work for
11:51me how about when we get home i make it up to you now hold on you want to you want to wipe out a
12:03twenty five hundred dollar debt with one roll in the hay are you saying i'm not worth it i'm saying
12:07it's a lot of money yeah we're not offers off the table no no no wait a minute hang on too late
12:11too late yeah i was thinking a fair price would be five hundred dollars a roll well isn't that what a
12:16girl wants to hear seems very mean do you think georgia got a tattoo in jail no do you think mema did
12:26probably are we going to church i'm going after everything that happened isn't that weird
12:33doesn't matter i need to i'll go with you you don't have to i want to
12:47what
13:03this isn't where to sit it's all right all right this is nowhere near the acoustic sweet spot
13:09shush and i'm sitting behind what may be the largest man in texas
13:12shh
13:13dear friends let us love one another whoever does not love does not know god because god
13:21is love it means that we are responsible for sharing that love with all those around us
13:28now let's join hands and pray dear heavenly father thank you for gathering us here today
13:34to join together in worship i've had enough let's go please give us the strength to reflect your
13:39abundant love out into the world thank you for bringing us here today to join together in worship
13:45excuse me am i the only one struck by the incredible hypocrisy of this sermon you go on and on about
13:50loving one another and how god is love but not when it comes to my mother and our family and why because
13:54my brother impregnated a woman 11 years older than him which one could argue was an act of love
13:58at least on his part she doesn't seem to care for him also earlier you said nebuchadnezzar in
14:02hebrew we pronounce nebuchadnezzar more in the back of the throat ka ka shilton bye or in hebrew
14:07hello which also means hello and peace ha ha how's mom pretty upset even after that excellent speech i
14:20made for once i don't think you're the problem good for me i'm reading
14:26hi there missy may i help you i was hoping to talk to your mom she around i'm not sure let me
14:37see if she's available what's going on she's available hello mary i am so sorry about today
14:46i understand why you're upset but the church is still your family i just hate to see you walk away from the
14:52world feels like he's walking away from me
15:11mary cooper i want to sex you up i have good news i could use it i got a job at the bowling alley
15:23work with brenda every day i am so sorry about today i just hate to see you walk away from the lord
15:28feels like he's walking away from me
15:37what is that hamburger helper it's official we're poor we're not poor there's hamburger in there there's
15:43hamburger in there right i like hamburger helper it really does help you hamburger make a great meal
15:47well it's a good thing you like it because you're definitely poor like us we're fine actually just eat
15:52do we still say grace why not mom's been taking a break from the church mom well i hadn't really
15:58thought about it we can if you want to let's not as meaningless as it is i do find the ritual comforting
16:02well somebody make a decision that slop's getting cold no it's good cold or hot like grape nuts oh can
16:07i say it sure bless us laura for the food we're about to receive and bless the hands prepared it
16:15and let me have a good hair day for school pictures later this week
16:18let's see what else i want wrap it up and please let my dad find a full-time job before we lose cable
16:22amen amen
16:35oh how's it going with this whole no church thing it's a little weird but i'm figuring it out
16:50think you might go back i don't know yet maybe find a different church i don't know george
16:56don't get a beer you uh care to join me like the good old days just because i'm not going to church
17:04doesn't mean i'm suddenly a drinker okay well then i guess me and my friends will say good night
17:11we need to talk about what you do their taxes how bad off are we based on their part-time income
17:16we're going to run out of money by the end of the year before after christmas before
17:20not what i wanted to hear anything we can do to help perhaps we could sell our stuff but i like
17:26my stuff i like my stuff too let's keep thinking hello connie grant link letter hello grant what can
17:38i do for you well i looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks since i last asked
17:42you out so i thought i'd give it another shot you ask me out every six weeks used to be nine but
17:47not getting any younger i'll tell you what fine really why not oh excellent but i want to be
17:55clear this is just one of those what you call it uh platonic things we're just having dinner i'll
18:00take it now would you prefer a restaurant or some good home cooking i make seven kinds of soup i think
18:05i'll just stick with the restaurant fair enough but one day you'll try my mushroom barley and your
18:09taste buds will swoon good night grant the secret is how long i cook the onions chicken coop now
18:25hi what are we doing what are you doing you hired mary to work at the bowling alley she needed a job
18:32i was being nice well you don't think it's a little weird this right here it's all weird
18:39are you drunk not nearly enough you and mary working together is a bad idea considering
18:44you know you and me we haven't done anything george but there was considering you know there was
18:49what do you want me to do you want me to fire her no no that would be weird which is exactly
18:54where we started good night you understand what i'm saying okay so what are you good at unpopular
19:07that is not a skill you can't do it fine oh you could go on jeopardy never i don't like answers in
19:13the form of questions i like my answers in the form of answers my questions in the form of questions
19:16thank you oh perhaps i could sell story ideas to tv shows like star trek you really think they'd listen
19:20to a kid my voice has gotten deeper the other day i answered the phone and they didn't mistake me
19:24for mom star trek's not going to buy your stupid ideas we'll see about that i have one where the
19:28enterprise falls to a time tunnel and wharf becomes a war from 12 minutes in the future
19:32we could let people punch you for a buck no all our profit would just go to medical expenses
19:41hey brenta i was trying to do the books for the quarter and i was having a little trouble
19:44making sense of it you know mary if if it's too big of a mess and you'd rather work somewhere else
19:49i'd understand oh i'll figure it out great so happy you're here
19:59hey there oh hi mary finally found an eight pounder that's not pink
20:07i didn't know you bowled i didn't know you did either actually i um i work here now oh
20:13sure okay i'm so sorry about how things went down to church it helps it all the place has gone to
20:21heck since you left good
20:26i sure do miss working with you well we can still be friends even if we don't work together
20:31i'd like that you find a kitty ball yet it's not about to wait i have small fingers oh uh mary this
20:40is shannon shannon this is mary cooper hi you used to be mary tucker not in a long time you remember me
20:49sorry no shannon dixon you used to babysit me is that so so great she would let me stay up late and
20:56watch tv he wants you to make out with your boyfriend i don't remember any of that well i'm
21:01not surprised you used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet pretty hard well mary cooper i was young
21:06and had found the lord you two here's that invoice oh great see pastor rob's here again oh does uh
21:22see come here rocker not with that one she's new well good for him single good looking pastor in a
21:32small town like this you might as well be roger scowback oh my god the dallas cowboys oh sure of
21:38course um hey if you need me i'm gonna be in the office doing office things
21:43what are you doing here i ran out of beer at home didn't feel like driving to the store so you
21:52just waltz in and help yourself about sums it up i'm changing the locks cheers
22:02so how's my daughter doing yeah she seems okay still trying to figure things out i gotta be honest
22:08i'm not exactly upset about less religion in the house i hear you although jesus making her forgive
22:13me has come in handy more than a few times yeah i played that card too then again i remember mary
22:19before god got his mitts on her and she was pretty wild oh you have to tell me i was a person she was
22:25wild with oh she was wild long before she ever met you what do you mean did you think that you were the
22:31first person she was wild with well yeah and just when the enterprise is about to be assimilated by
22:42the board another ship appears piloted by wesley crusher uh-huh it's surprising because wesley
22:47crusher left the show years ago so it's a big deal if you say so i have more commander data i'd like a
22:52reservation for dinner yes i'll hold you want to do this over dinner okay i'm taking your grandmother
22:57out tonight she didn't mention it to me maybe because it doesn't concern you my meemaw my
23:01professor who's in the middle of that venn diagram yes two people at eight o'clock eight's a little
23:06late for meemaw what time does she like to eat well she's old like you so 6 30 at the latest can we
23:11make that 6 30 wonderful hold on does she like french food i'll call you back anyway commander data let
23:19me ask you a question if this commander data were taking her meemaw out for dinner where would they go
23:24almost certainly the holodeck sounds trendy is that in houston hello what's up i saw your hope
23:33wanted sign i'd like to help please how old are you how old do i need to be 14. do i not look 14.
23:40i don't care perfect so when do i start but hold on do you even like comic books yeah what's your
23:46favorite um and the cool thing about the x-men is not just that they have superpowers they act as a
23:52metaphor for outsiders trying to find their place in society who's your favorite all of them mine too
23:59and i got the job you can't work at the comic book store if anyone should work at the comic book
24:02store it should be me sorry we're not hiring do i at least get a discount i do
24:06oh hey hi you okay not really it's been a rough couple of days i'm sorry thank you makes it feel
24:24better i've had a pretty good couple of days and i'm still gonna get drunk you wanna join me yes
24:30that would be nice more sad than nice but let's go
24:39so this is unexpected well i know you like margaritas so my first thought was a mexican
24:44restaurant good thought but i assumed other men had come to that same conclusion they have which led
24:48me to polynesian fair i like to think of the mai tai as the margarita of the south pacific
24:54you don't do anything on a whim do you did once didn't like it
25:00i have an idea for a star trek episode i'd like to present to you
25:03why me because i'm hoping to sell it and since it's going to be broadcast television i want to
25:06make sure the common man can understand it yeah i understand how just insulted excellent i came to
25:11the right common man we start on a gas giant in the vicinity of rigel four then see a shuttlecraft
25:16a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space inside the shuttlecraft we see lieutenant
25:20warf struggling to breathe he's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus where are you going
25:25i'm listening cough cough warf is choking on spores but not just your everyday spores these are spores
25:31with their own evil agenda and as he sinks into a coma a mysterious figure in a space suit approaches
25:35he lowers the visor on his helmet revealing future warf are you hooked oh yeah main titles cue theme
25:41song and a soothing voice of patrick stewart as captain picard says space
25:46the final frontier who's patrick stewart
25:54feeling better i'm fine just having a little moment earlier all right
26:03it seems like running to pastor rob kind of kind of rattled you a little bit oh well
26:08i was asked to leave the church and he's still there so still a little fresh i get that
26:17seems like a nice guy though oh yeah he's great cute as a button i guess i prefer a bigger man
26:26like george oh yeah bigger the better deep within the enterprise's control room future warf says i
26:33willingly sacrifice myself for the good of this mission then throws himself into the warp core there's an
26:37explosion of tachyons the enterprise blast free of the gigantic field of fungus fade out written by
26:43sheldon lee cooper what do you think if this war fella was infected on the shuttles why would he come
26:50back to the enterprise and put everyone else in danger well my father found a flaw in my story my
26:57sister had a job i envied it was a big day for the common man but then i had an idea that like future
27:03wharf was ahead of its time missy what why is a dollar worth a dollar sheldon i'm busy me too i've
27:10solved all of our money problems i'm going to invent my own digital currency like printing your
27:14own no first we assign value to difficult to find numbers and store them in a computer database then
27:18we create an algorithm to mine the numbers then we encourage people to switch from currencies that
27:21are government back to ours it's brilliant i'm going to be rich speaking of did you know batman is
27:27also secretly a rich dude or he lives in a rich dude's basement i'm still figuring it out
27:34oh thank you tiki woman so what's going on at work i don't want to bore you with science talk no no
27:40i'm interested excellent we're in a race with the finish team to see if you can correct the
27:43unification of the leptons as you can imagine the world waits anxiously but we see who crosses the
27:48finish line first so the finisher may be at the finish line
27:51oh you're witty too more cheese to bait the trap maybe we should order dinner nonsense there's food
27:59right here pineapple prickly on the outside but beautiful inside just like you
28:09and you know that shannon girl with pastor rob she was a bedwetter
28:1410 years old that's not normal maybe you'll get a fun little surprise on their honeymoon
28:18oh no they're not getting married well how do you know i don't i just think you can do better
28:25mary cooper are you sweet okay no what i am a married woman heavily well i was married one
28:34student stop me from looking well i'm not looking where are you going to dance i didn't think you
28:40baptist did that we don't drink neither oh wow i'm pretty good are you familiar with the phrase you
28:49need money to make money no well it's a phrase and my clever twist on it is i'm going to make money to
28:54make money now when i say make money you might think that i'm talking about counterfeiting but no
28:59i'm talking about creating a unique decentralized digital currency that people can pay to own
29:03sounds like scam no it's an open source currency that has value due to mathematical scarcity
29:07sounds pretty scammy you don't understand i do you say a bunch of fancy jibber jabber people don't
29:12want to admit they're too stupid to understand then they give you their money well um sort of love it
29:18how do we get started well all we need is a mainframe computer how much is that new about half million
29:22dollars but i'm hoping to find something slightly used time will prove me right
29:26you're not gonna believe this but i don't go on a lot of dates no it's true sure i did okay as a
29:34younger man but there was a war on most of the able-bodied men where else were so you said some
29:39oats i get it a whole field of them i was the johnny apple seed of oats okay but here's the thing
29:44once you put off matrimony past a certain point women start to think of you as what's the word creepy
29:50there it is and then along comes you my little texas firecracker playing the game of life by
29:55your own set of rules i'm a firecracker i'm a pineapple good for me could i ask you a personal
30:01question oh i wish you wouldn't how would you like to make love to a man who shook the hand of albert
30:05einstein and you did this one right here i didn't watch it for a week not a selling point excuse me for
30:13a moment i have to toss my cookies
30:21hey brenda and i went dancing you went dance yeah and i'm darn good at it okay the kids asleep yep
30:32you want to fool around are you messing with me i'm hoping to you hot diggity dog
30:46welcome to king kong comics i'm missy if you have any questions please let me know i don't have
30:50any questions i know more about comic books than you do okay well you may not notice the new green
30:54lantern just came in also if you like green things i recommend green arrow and of course the hulk his skin
30:58is green i know that everyone knows that uh-oh are you gonna smash things that's like the hulk does
31:03when he gets upset i'm not upset cool if you need something i'll be at the front counter where i work
31:14previously on young shell mary cooper i want to sex you up
31:20i have good news i could use it i got a job at the bowling alley
31:25work with brenda every day i am so sorry about today i just hate to see you walk away from the
31:32lord feels like he's walking away from me
31:41what is that hamburger helper it's official we're poor we're not poor there's hamburger in there there's
31:47hamburger in there right i like hamburger helper it really does help your hamburger make a great meal
31:51well it's a good thing you like it because you're definitely poor like us we're fine actually just
31:55eat do we still say grace why not mom's been taking a break from the church mom well i hadn't really
32:02thought about it we can if you want to let's not as meaningless as it is i do find the ritual
32:06comforting well somebody make a decision that slop's getting cold no it's good cold or hot like
32:10grape nuts oh can i say it sure
32:15bless us lord for the food we're about to receive and bless the hands prepared it
32:19and let me have a good hair day for school pictures later this week let's see what else
32:22i want wrap it up and please let my dad find a full-time job before we lose cable amen amen
32:39so how's it going with this whole no church thing it's a little weird but i'm figuring it out
32:54think you might go back i don't know yet maybe find a different church i don't know george
32:59go get a beer you uh care to join me like the good old days just because i'm not going to church
33:08doesn't mean i'm suddenly a drinker okay well then i guess me and my friends will say good night
33:15we need to talk about what you do their taxes how about off where are we based on their part-time
33:20income we're going to run out of money by the end of the year before or after christmas before
33:23not what i wanted to hear anything we can do to help perhaps we could sell our stuff but i like
33:30my stuff i like my stuff too let's keep thinking hello connie grant link letter hello grant what can
33:42i do for you well i looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks since i last asked
33:46you out so i thought i'd give it another shot you ask me out every six weeks used to be nine but
33:51we're not getting any younger i'll tell you what fine really why not oh excellent but i want to be
33:59clear this is just one of those what you call it uh platonic things we're just having dinner i'll
34:04take it now would you prefer a restaurant or some good home cooking i make seven kinds of soup
34:09i think i'll just stick with the restaurant fair enough but one day you'll try my mushroom barley
34:12and your taste buds will swoon good night grant the secret is how long i cook the onions
34:21chicken coop now
34:29hi what are we doing what are you doing you hired mary to work at the bowling alley she needed a job
34:36i was being nice well you don't think it's a little weird this right here it's all weird
34:41are you drunk not nearly enough you and mary working together is a bad idea considering you know
34:49you and me we haven't done anything george but there was considering you know there was
34:53what do you want me to do you want me to fire her no no that'll be weird which is exactly where we
34:59started good night you understand what i'm saying okay so what are you good at unpopular that is not
35:12a skill you can't do it fine oh you could go on jeopardy never i don't like answers in the form of
35:17questions i like my answers in the form of answers my questions in the form of questions thank you
35:21oh perhaps i could sell story ideas to tv shows like star trek you really think they'd listen to a kid
35:25my voice has gotten deeper the other day i answered the phone and they didn't mistake me for mom
35:28star trek's not going to buy your stupid ideas we'll see about that i have one where the enterprise
35:32falls to a time tunnel and wharf becomes a war from 12 minutes in the future we could let people
35:36punch you for a buck no all our profit would just go to medical expenses
35:44hey brenta i was trying to do the books for the quarter and i was having a little trouble making
35:49sense of it you know mary if if it's too big of a mess and you'd rather work somewhere else i'd
35:54understand no i'll figure it out great so happy you're here
36:03hey there oh hi mary finally found an eight pounder that's not pink i didn't know you bold i didn't know
36:12you did either actually uh um i work here now oh sure okay i'm so sorry about how things went down
36:23to church it helps it all the place has gone to heck since you left good i sure do miss working with you
36:33well we can still be friends even if we don't work together
36:35i'd like that you find a kitty ball yet it's not about the weight just have small fingers
36:43oh uh mary this is shannon shannon this is mary cooper hi you used to be mary tucker
36:49not in a long time you remember me sorry no shannon dixon you used to babysit me
36:56is that so so great she would let me stay up late and watch tv unless you'd make out with your
37:01boyfriend oh don't remember any of that well i'm not surprised you used to hit my dad's liquor
37:07cabinet pretty hard well mary cooper i was young and had family lord you two
37:11have a great time here's that invoice oh great see pastor rob's here again oh does uh
37:26see come here not with that one she's new well good for him single good looking pastor in a small
37:36town like this you might as well be brought to stop it oh my god the dallas cowboys oh sure of
37:42course um hey if you need me i'm gonna be in the office doing office things
37:52what are you doing here i ran out of beer at home didn't feel like driving to the store
37:56so you just waltz in and help yourself about sums it up i'm changing the lock cheers
38:06so how's my daughter doing yeah she seems okay still trying to figure things out i gotta be
38:11honest i'm not exactly upset about less religion in the house i hear you although jesus making her
38:17forgive me has come in handy more than a few times yeah i played that card too then again i remember
38:23mary before god got his mitts on her and she was pretty wild don't have to tell me i was a person she
38:29was wild with oh she was wild long before she ever met you what do you mean did you think that you
38:35were the first person she was wild with well yeah and just when the enterprise is about to be
38:46assimilated by the board another ship appears piloted by wesley crusher uh-huh it's surprising
38:50because wesley crusher left the show years ago so it's a big deal if you say so i have more commander
38:55data i'd like a reservation for dinner yes i'll hold you want to do this over dinner okay i'm taking your
39:00grandmother out tonight she didn't mention it to me maybe because it doesn't concern you my meemaw
39:05my professor who's in the middle of that venn diagram yes two people at eight o'clock eight's a
39:10little late for meemaw what time does she like to eat well she's old like you so 6 30 at the latest
39:15can we make that 6 30 wonderful hold on does she like french food i'll call you back
39:22anyway commander data let me ask you a question if this commander data were taking her meemaw out for
39:26dinner where would they go almost certainly the holodeck sounds trendy is that in houston
39:34hello what's up i saw your hope wanted sign i'd like to help please how old are you how old do i
39:40need to be 14. do i not look 14? i don't care perfect so when do i start hold on do you even like comic
39:48books yeah what's your favorite um and the cool thing about the x-men is not just that they have
39:54superpowers they act as a metaphor for outsiders trying to find their place in society who's your
39:59favorite all of them mine too and i got the job you can't work at the comic book store if anyone
40:05should work at the comic book store it should be me sorry we're not hiring do i at least get a discount
40:09i do oh hey hi you okay not really it's been a rough couple of days i'm sorry thank you makes
40:27feel better i've had a pretty good couple of days and i'm still gonna get drunk you want to join me
40:32yes that would be nice more sad than nice but let's go
40:42so this is unexpected well i know you like margaritas so my first thought was a mexican
40:48restaurant good thought but i assumed other men had come to that same conclusion they have which
40:52led me to polynesian fair i like to think of the mai tai as the margarita of the south pacific
40:58you don't do anything on a whim do you did once didn't like it
41:02i have an idea for a star trek episode i'd like to present to you why me because i'm hoping to
41:08sell it and since it's going to be broadcast television i want to make sure the common man
41:11can understand it yeah i understand i'll just insult it excellent i came to the right common man
41:16we start on a gas giant in the vicinity of rigel four then see a shuttlecraft a dot of silver
41:21against the inky blackness of space inside the shuttlecraft we see lieutenant warf struggling
41:25to breathe he's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus where are you going i'm listening
41:30cough cough warf is choking on spores but not just your everyday spores these are spores with
41:35their own evil agenda and as he sinks into a coma a mysterious figure in a space suit approaches
41:39he lowers the visor on his helmet revealing future warf are you hooked oh yeah main titles
41:45cue theme song and the soothing voice of patrick stewart as captain picard says
41:48space the final frontier who's patrick stewart
41:58feeling better i'm fine just having a little moment earlier all right
42:02it seems like running to pastor rob kind of kind of rattled you a little bit oh well
42:14i was asked to leave the church and he's still there so still a little fresh i get that
42:21seems like a nice guy though oh yeah he's great cute as a button i guess i prefer a bigger man
42:29like george oh yeah bigger the better deep within the enterprise's control room future warf says i
42:36willingly sacrifice myself for the good of this mission then throws himself into the warp core
42:40there's an explosion of tachyons the enterprise blast free of the gigantic field of fungus
42:44fade out written by sheldon lee cooper what do you think if this warf fellow was infected on the
42:52shuttles why would you come back to the enterprise and put everyone else in danger well my father
42:59found a flaw in my story my sister had a job i envied it was a big day for the common man but then
43:05i had an idea that like future warf was ahead of its time missy what why is a dollar worth a dollar
43:12sheldon i'm busy me too i've solved all of our money problems i'm going to invent my own digital
43:16currency like printing your own no first we assign value to difficult to find numbers and store them in
43:21a computer database then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers then we encourage people to
43:24switch from currencies that are government back to ours it's brilliant i'm going to be rich speaking
43:29of did you know batman is also secretly a rich dude or he lives in a rich dude's basement i'm still
43:34figuring it out oh thank you tiki woman so what's going on at work i don't want to bore you with science
43:43talk no no i'm interested excellent we're going to race with the finish team to see if you can
43:47correct the unification of the leptons as you can imagine the world waits anxiously while we see
43:51who crosses the finish line first so the finish may be at the finish line
43:58oh you're witty too more cheese to bait the trap maybe we should order dinner nonsense there's food
44:03right here pineapple prickly on the outside but beautiful inside just like you
44:09and you know that shannon girl with pastor ross she was a bedwetter 10 years old that's not normal
44:20maybe you'll get a fun little surprise on their honeymoon oh no they're not getting married well how
44:25do you know i don't i just think you can do better mary cooper are you sweet on him no what i am a married
44:35woman heavily well i was married one student stop me from looking well i'm not looking where are you
44:42going to dance i didn't think you baptist did that we don't drink neither oh wow i'm pretty good are you
44:52familiar with the phrase you need money to make money no well it's a phrase and my clever twist on
44:57it is i'm going to make money to make money now when i say make money you might think that i'm talking
45:02about counterfeiting but no i'm talking about creating a unique decentralized digital currency
45:05that people can pay to own sounds like scam no it's an open source currency that has value due
45:10to mathematical scarcity sounds pretty scammy you don't understand i do you say a bunch of fancy
45:15jibber-jabber people don't want to admit they're too stupid to understand then they give you their money
45:18well um sort of love it how do we get started well all we need is a mainframe computer how much is that
45:25new about half a million dollars but i'm hoping to find something slightly used time will prove me right
45:32you're not gonna believe this but i don't go on a lot of dates no it's true sure i did okay as a
45:38younger man but there was a war on and most of the able-bodied men where else were so you said some
45:42oats i get it a whole field of them i was the johnny apple seed of oats okay but here's the thing
45:48once you put off matrimony past a certain point women start to think of you as what's the word creepy
45:54there it is and then along comes you my little texas firecracker playing the game of life by
45:59your own set of rules i'm a firecracker i'm a pineapple good for me could i ask you a personal
46:05question oh i wish you wouldn't how would you like to make love to a man who shook the hand of albert
46:09einstein and you did this one right here i didn't watch it for a week not a selling point excuse me for a
46:17moment i have to toss my cookies
46:20hey where you been brenda and i went dancing you went dancing yeah and i'm darn good at it
46:32okay the kids asleep yep you want to fool around are you messing with me i'm hoping to
46:44you're a hot diggity dog previously on young sheldon where you look like you're gonna cry a year ago i
46:49was a tv weather girl in san antonio and now i'm living in a garage with a 17 year old who got me
46:53pregnant i'll be 18 before you know it but not before you're a father it's gonna be okay is it
47:01i peed in the sink last night trust me i'll fix this make yourself at home thank you so much it's
47:08only temporary i promise oh no problem stay as long as you need bathrooms right down the hall oh boy a
47:13bathroom here you go scrambled eggs bacon biscuits and fresh squeezed orange juice thank you that's
47:23amazing where's mine you're not pregnant she is well i like to think we're pregnant really are your
47:30ankles swollen did you throw up this morning are you constipated no dear stop calling me dear i'm not
47:35your dear you want breakfast eggs are here stove is there knock yourself out i get she's pregnant i don't
47:40know why you're so moody on the count of three i'm leaving i'm leaving have a good day mama
48:02since losing his job one of the few upsides for my dad was having the house to himself to enjoy some
48:06peace and quiet billy stop feeding the chickens cat and crunch but they like it we've been over
48:12this you don't eat their food they don't eat yours everybody okay over there yeah doesn't sound okay
48:19you don't want to know tell me
48:23he's failing math and they might hold him back that's rough i try helping him but math was never
48:29my strong suit yeah i hear you and when you do try to help them they realize how dumb you are
48:33you think sheldon would help billy i'm not sure helping others is where he shines pissing him off
48:39he's got that down cold well then i'm screwed i can't afford a tutor let me talk to show
48:46see what i can do appreciate it mom look that chicken is not a hat hurry
48:54hey how was school sucked language you asked and it did what happened i don't want to talk about it
49:03are you sure i'm a pretty good listener then why didn't you hear me say i don't want to talk about
49:07it is this about boy mom i do have some experience on the subject please only two boys you have
49:12experience with our dad and jesus let me go talk to me mom i know other boys and then he walked
49:19right on by me like i wasn't there does he even know you like him i don't know i've ignored him
49:23been mean to him what else can i do sounds like you've tried everything okay i've got an idea why
49:30don't you just tell him but what if he doesn't like me back i would die you will not die oh yes i will
49:35i will be dead and he will be sad at my funeral how about this why don't you get one of your
49:39girlfriends to find out how he feels about you why because then you don't have to put yourself on
49:43the spot okay and if he doesn't like me back i'll just keep being mean to him until he