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  • 4 days ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an 11-year-old kid in Florida who had his Xbox stolen by an intruder and imagine him getting revenge in a 'Home Alone' meets 'Saw' style mash-up.

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Fun
Transcript
00:00uh we're off now to lehigh acres florida where uh little 11 year old guys at home
00:10here's someone climbing in through the window
00:13he thought the noise was caused by his mother's boyfriend
00:18but instead he came face to face with an intruder he ran out of the house to his next door neighbors
00:26for help but no one was there as he was walking back home he saw a guy riding his bike with his
00:34xbox under his arm you son of a bitch i'll kill you that's it call of duty activate it's time to
00:4311 year old the 11 year old yeah shot him to death no i'm kidding he didn't there was no shooting he
00:50was just pissed this guy stole the xbox a trail of clues including the serial number of the xbox
00:56which the 11 year old still had that's right didn't count on that did you buster you stupid
01:01idiot god damn it led investigators to identify 24 year old michael brock jr as the suspect
01:07i'm gonna track you down with tommy lee jones you bitch steal my xbox how devastating for a little
01:1511 year old guy to see his xbox and his bike take off down the street it's your everything
01:20that's your everything right there dude judge that's like a motion to courts to kill him
01:25i'd like to give him a chair maybe just rip him apart with two trucks
01:30i'd like to feed him to alligators feed him to gators it's good that's a great one just eat his feet
01:35his feet and his hands just have his feet and hands eaten so he has a lifetime of pain
01:43keep his wounds fresh when you drove off with it i said i was forever changed
01:49i thought you were gonna say that this 11 year old uh i thought he really took care of some
01:55some business yeah i thought it really put him away i really believe that it's florida i'm sure he was
01:59arm to the teeth i popped off a couple shots buddy it was too quick he moved to the right
02:05on his bicycle sent him straight to the gulag
02:09listen any one of you guys in there would be devastated if you got someone running out of
02:16your place with your xbox you'd be so angry i'd be devastated that happened yeah tomorrow that's
02:21what i'm saying you'd be devastated i'd cry yeah i know help please i have a playstation
02:27would you okay you guys so someone breaks into your house and uh you see them you come
02:33downstairs they're walking out with your xbox well what am i am i 11 or am i now you're now
02:38they're dead yeah they're as good as dead they are so dead so fast
02:46no one's ready more than me right now come on am i 11 or am i now
02:53yeah because at 11 i wouldn't have been ready but since this whole pandemic thing came around
02:59boy oh boy am i ready for someone to come and take my stuff there's uh there's a mugshot of the
03:05guy oh he would be oh he'd be doomed if i caught that guy in my house is look at his little chin i
03:11might sneak up from behind him whistle and have a dog attack his neck he's got a he's got one of
03:16those little chins man someone in fort myers texted saying they used to go to summer camp with
03:20this guy that broke into the house said he looked the exact same back then he hasn't changed
03:24real mousy yeah yeah mouse look i'd like you to say good morning in my little saw setup i have for
03:31you for what you've done yeah like spray water on him it's just a wiki wiki time
03:36where's the xbox where's the xbox this right here is a car battery
03:43he starts dancing yeah you like those weird ears you got
03:51as you can see your feet are in a tub of water nice mustache and there's a drip from the ceiling
03:59that is stripping on you soaking you i bet these on your nipples are gonna hurt a lot
04:05so we can talk about it's weird to think of like a real dark-sided version of home alone
04:11yeah oh yeah yeah where it becomes like a horror movie yeah but it reversed like the kids got you
04:18yes exactly as you can see i've uh developed a little room down here i've been watching horror
04:24movies from the age of two i'm real twisted up i want to thank you so much for coming inside and
04:32trying to take my xbox there's one way out of here and it's a saw off your own legs
04:36oh my god here's a saw here's a saw
04:39i'll put an apple just out of reach yeah here i'm gonna start the fire now
04:45you picked the wrong house to break into there my friend i was doing so good on fortnight and when
04:52i saw you drive away i just snapped and when i snap people lose feet yeah you find yourself
04:59surrounded by walls right now you've been given a rubber tube and a saw rubber tubes have stopped
05:06bleeding from when you want to really get out of here it lets you think about it for a while
05:11stupid stupid after all that he calls him stupid he'll have that he doesn't have the best burns
05:21you smell like duty it's a blowtorch if you do sell the leg off we'll burn our clothes yeah
05:30yeah you can stay out of here just forever changed that's crazy there actually is this fan theory on
05:37the internet that kevin mcallister from home alone actually becomes jigsaw that's already like a
05:43thing online that's hilarious i get it i mean some of the stuff he did to him you ever been hit in the
05:50face with a paint can i bet it hurts oh man it hurts have your hand roasted off with the heated up
05:55door knob depends what you're exposed to lately on medieval torture since i don't have my xbox to
06:00distract me i want to thank you for that do a lot of research historic school research
06:07we're gonna this is something we like to call removing your bones this is a box of rats that
06:13we're gonna heat up and eat through your chest let me know how it feels i'd like to hear your screams
06:20terrifying by the way my stepdad already bought me a new xbox yeah he got one so it's fine but we're
06:29gonna take care of that you're really gonna pay for it i don't want some other kid that can't get an
06:33xbox dealing with that i'm gonna put my headphones on so i can't hear you scream i'm gonna leave one
06:39off just so i can hear a little yeah a little bit home alone for the dark side coming soon
06:48yes
06:49no
06:50no
06:50no
06:51no
06:51no
06:52no
06:52no
06:53no
06:54no

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