Guardians of the globe trials Season 1 Episode 3
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00:00Thank you all for coming here today.
00:03The Guardians of the Globe were more than a group of heroes.
00:07They were icons.
00:09Those of you who pass our trials will be among the elite.
00:16The best of the best.
00:30Needless to say, not all of you will be up to the challenge.
00:36Ouch. What's up with her?
00:38No idea.
00:40Those of you who are up to the challenge will succeed not just by the uniqueness of your abilities,
00:46but by the uniqueness of your tactics,
00:51your adaptability,
00:53the agility of your minds.
00:58The agility of your minds.
01:01Ties burn the pavement.
01:02People want to know it makes sense.
01:04Still here.
01:05Still in your ear with a stop so odd.
01:07You'll see where all the sun rays went.
01:09Legs, arms, and head.
01:10All being moved in a frenzy.
01:11To blend in.
01:12The right path.
01:13Meaning potential.
01:14The world will be rockin' over pearls.
01:16And they catch a mint toy.
01:17Ready?
01:18Set.
01:19Set.
01:20Jump.
01:21Set.
01:22Set.
01:23And, perhaps most importantly...
01:26The strength of your character, and spirit.
01:43That is what truly makes a hero.
01:47It is my pleasure to introduce the new guardians of the globe.
01:53Black Samson, Shrinking Ray, Duplicate, Monster Girl.
02:03Aww, look at her, she's adorable.
02:05But isn't there like an age requirement for this ride?
02:08Am I wrong?
02:09This seems weird, right?
02:13Rex.
02:14I don't know, you're here.
02:15Isn't there a dick size requirement?
02:17I'm sorry.
02:18For what, your tiny dick?
02:20I mean, the way you've been strutting around here, you must be compensating for something.
02:29Somebody ought to teach you some motherfucking what's up.
02:41Guess you missed my tryout.
02:45Still think I'm adorable.
02:51Oh, you look a little bitch.
03:00Oh, now that's adorable.
03:04I'm gonna blast that smile off your stupid green face.
03:09Please stop, this is hardly constructive.
03:12Uh, is this okay?
03:18He asked for it.
03:27Okay, enough.
03:29Get lost, boy scout.
03:31I said enough!
03:33Invincible hit that little girl.
03:40Oh, shit.
03:42Uh, look, I'm so sorry.
03:46Nah, my bad.
03:47The kid thing sets me off every time, and then it's like, rawr, beast mode.
03:53Sorry about the dick joke.
03:55I'm sure your junk is awesome.
03:58It's fine.
03:59I'm good.
03:59You're good.
04:00You can punch hard.
04:04Didn't need your help, asshole.
04:05Oh, Christ.
04:09Murr, murr.
04:11As I was saying, welcome to the Guardians of the Globe, Monster Girl.
04:16Gonna shit, bud.
04:18Along with Rexplode.
04:19Once he's recovered.
04:21And our final member, Adam Eve.
04:23Thank you all for coming today.
04:28We'll be making a public announcement shortly.
04:31Robot!
04:33No need to thank me.
04:34I obviously needed to remain impartial.
04:37But I'm still delighted so many members of the teen team made the cut.
04:41I can't be on the same team as Rex and Kate.
04:45What?
04:45Why?
04:46Hey, wait!
04:48Rex, what did you do?
04:49Uh, thanks for the help, robot.
04:52Can't wait to be on your team.
04:56As soon as the forensic investigation has concluded,
04:59we'll be moving into the Guardians' headquarters.
05:01Until then, we'll be training here.
05:03Breakfast is at 6 a.m., then close-in combat exercises until lunch.
05:08Where is Kate Prime?
05:10Had a thing.
05:11I can fill her in.
05:12Okay, just to make it clear,
05:15there is no universe in which I wake up at 6 a.m.
05:18and the world isn't on fire.
05:21Come on, robot.
05:22We don't need this boot camp bullshit.
05:24It's us.
05:25We're not on the teen team any longer, Rex.
05:28Exactly.
05:28I'm sure you've had a lot of experience wrangling teenagers,
05:32but I was with the Guardians from day one.
05:33Wow!
05:34Thanks, Dad.
05:35Maybe if you didn't lose your powers,
05:37you might have been there to help the Guardians on their last day.
05:40I don't know you yet.
05:42So I'm gonna assume that was a joke
05:43and I don't need to beat your ass
05:45until all you wanna do is call me Dad again.
05:48I don't know you either,
05:53but we need a leader we can look in the eye,
05:55not a bunch of ones and zeros.
05:57No offense.
05:58That's actually super offensive.
06:00So, wait, you think you should be in charge?
06:03I am the most experienced.
06:04Yeah, at losing your powers.
06:07Didn't I crack that joke already?
06:08Why are we even putting up with this guy?
06:11He wears a suit.
06:13It takes batteries.
06:14Let's just get Eve back in here.
06:16I'm new to this whole team thing,
06:18but I thought it involved teamwork.
06:20As did I.
06:21Call me when you figure it out.
06:23I'll be in the gym.
06:25Me too.
06:27I'll go supervise.
06:29No, you won't.
06:30I can do whatever I like.
06:34Good first day, robot.
06:37Um, I can't do three combat exercises a day.
06:42I'm on a rather tight timetable
06:44to get this team operational.
06:46Whenever I transform, I get younger.
06:49It's part of the curse that gives me my powers.
06:52I don't look it, but I'm 24 years old.
06:55I used to go by Monster Woman,
06:57but it got too hard to explain,
06:59so if you don't want to start changing my diapers,
07:03three exercises a day are too much for me.
07:05I didn't.
07:06Of course.
07:07My apologies.
07:08It must be difficult.
07:10Try having a normal relationship looking like this.
07:13The guys who are interested are either going through puberty
07:16or popping up on sex offender registries.
07:18I understand what it's like
07:19for the world to look at you and see one thing,
07:23never knowing the truth of what's inside.
07:25How can you understand?
07:27You're a robot.
07:33Pathetic.