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00:00After being in the hospital for two weeks,
00:05we're behind with this whole wedding planning.
00:07So now, I need to focus on getting this custom suit.
00:11We want to measure your crotch, if you don't mind.
00:13I've been lifting him for all his life.
00:15It was your idea to go custom.
00:16Yeah.
00:18Hey, Mara.
00:19Have you heard anything about, like,
00:21how our parents feel about Jay?
00:23Yeah, I mean, it just feels like, to put it bluntly,
00:26I guess they just aren't accepting of the wedding, per se.
00:32How are you coming with your wedding budget?
00:34Good.
00:35You saying y'all got just another 10 grand sitting to the side?
00:38Mm-hmm.
00:39I see that one up close.
00:40Now I'm irritating.
00:42You seem so dramatic.
00:46Golly.
00:47Oh, what a dinner.
00:56Oh, my gosh, yeah.
00:57Another day, another family dinner survived.
01:00Barely.
01:01My dad and my mom, when they got married,
01:04they had a courthouse wedding.
01:05And, you know, honestly, I feel like my dad growing up,
01:10he was raised by, like, a single mom.
01:11So I feel like he didn't really see, like, right in the home,
01:15like, the best example of, like, a celebration of love
01:19and, like, marriage and all that stuff.
01:22But he would probably tell you it's
01:23because it's not about all that stuff,
01:25it's about the marriage, which is true.
01:27But, I mean, do you think you were able to say it all, you know?
01:32Yeah, I feel like I was able to say what I could.
01:34You have been that, like, very, you know,
01:39like, that piece that has...
01:41Cutting the umbilical cord.
01:42I'm like, all right, your son's grown now.
01:47Realistically, I mean, they're not in a relationship.
01:50They're part of it, but they're not in it.
01:52And so, honestly, we don't really have to prove them anything.
01:56And we have to just lean on to each other.
02:00It's just frustrating.
02:01I feel like if we didn't live here,
02:03I wouldn't feel as much pressure.
02:06I know part of them wants to protect me.
02:09I think a lot of it is fear.
02:12Even though my dad may have a different perspective,
02:15it's still great that he's showing up for us.
02:18Some people don't have that kind of support.
02:21Someone in this room.
02:22Anyone.
02:23Who's parentless?
02:24Anyone?
02:25And you take yours.
02:26Going once, going twice.
02:28From my perspective, they did a great job.
02:31They raised my husband.
02:32Yeah.
02:33So they should give himself credit and just trust themselves
02:37and then they did the right thing.
02:39Yeah.
02:40We're still moving out.
02:41So, you know, and we're going to-
02:42Regardless.
02:43Regardless.
02:43We're still going to move out,
02:44and that's just what it's going to be.
02:49Let's get ready for bed.
02:50Oh, yeah.
02:51And we got to figure out a plan for this sex conference.
02:54Ooh, sex conference.
02:56What?
02:58I want to talk, talk with no bother.
03:01Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
03:06It's you and me, oh.
03:09Hey, babe.
03:11Have you thought about, like, what our intro will be?
03:14No.
03:14One of the organizers of Sex Down South,
03:17an annual sex conference in Atlanta,
03:20saw us on social media and asked if we wanted to speak
03:22at the conference to represent people with disabilities.
03:25We need to go big.
03:26This is a big opportunity.
03:28Exactly.
03:28I'm pretty reserved when it comes to sexual stuff.
03:31Like, I don't talk too much about sex.
03:33When it comes to sex health topics,
03:37um, I'll be all in.
03:40Sex is like sundaes.
03:42You know what's in a sundae?
03:46Ice cream.
03:49There, there.
03:50We'll get to it.
03:53Oh.
03:53You get it now?
03:54I think so.
03:55What is it?
03:56Is it cream?
03:58No.
03:58Well, yes, but what else?
04:01I don't know.
04:03What's on a sundae?
04:04Bananas.
04:05Bananas.
04:05Bananas.
04:09I'm just feeling, I'm just feeling,
04:12I feel like this is going so many places.
04:15I wrote down the topics and stuff, breaking myths and stigmas.
04:22You say what?
04:23Breaking myths.
04:24I like to say freaking backs.
04:25You know what?
04:26Do you recall, I had to take medication after me because...
04:31Oh, yes, because your back was hurting?
04:33I feel so bad.
04:35No vanilla sticks.
04:36No.
04:37For us.
04:38Vanilla with some sprinkles.
04:41You get it?
04:42You can have a banana with nuts.
04:45Cream.
04:45You can make sundaes different ways.
04:47Exactly.
04:48I feel like it depends on your sundae.
04:49Preference.
04:50Yes.
04:51Yes, that's what I'm talking about.
04:52Yes.
04:53Sexiest white sundaes.
04:54Yes.
04:55I hope it's going to be a good enough crowd like there's only one person.
04:56No, I feel like everyone's going to come in there.
04:57I'm like, what are those little people doing?
04:58Yeah, I mean, come on, two little people in a wheelchair?
04:59Yeah.
05:00They're going to be like, wait, what's going on in here?
05:01They're going to be like, wait, what's going on in here?
05:02They're going to be like, we need to know right now.
05:04Just because we have a disability can't mean we can't be sexy.
05:05Yeah, we got disability to look good, right?
05:06Just because we're disabled does not mean we don't have a sex life.
05:07That's how I'm going to fix her scoliosis.
05:08Shut up.
05:09Like, there's a lot of people that have disabilities that don't know how to put on
05:10condoms, you know, like, I don't even remember having a sex talk with my parents.
05:13Then your mom give you like a sex book?
05:14Yeah.
05:15I'm like, what's going on in here?
05:16Yeah.
05:17I'm like, wait, what's going on in here?
05:18Yeah.
05:19They're going to be like, wait, what's going on in here?
05:20They're going to be like, we need to know right now.
05:21Just because we have a disability can't mean we can't be sexy.
05:22Yeah, we got disability to look good, right?
05:23Just because we're disabled does not mean we don't have a sex life.
05:24That's how I'm going to fix her scoliosis.
05:26Shut up.
05:29Like, there's a lot of people that have disabilities that don't know how to put on condoms, you know?
05:34Like, I don't even remember having a sex talk with my parents.
05:38Well, did your mom give you like a sex book?
05:40No.
05:41Not a sex book.
05:42Not a sex book.
05:43It's a different position.
05:44No, no.
05:45About Puberty.
05:46A Puberty book.
05:47No, I mean, she gave me the book about your body.
05:48You know, like, here's your, you know, whatever.
05:50You're your no-no square.
05:53In high school, I did not go on dates.
05:55But you, though, you got a little roster.
05:59Not a roster?
06:01Okay, real life.
06:02Yeah, I really don't remember having a talk about...
06:05Mine was really religious.
06:06Oh.
06:07Before they knew you were trans, my mom was worried about me getting pregnant.
06:11Yo!
06:12No, for real!
06:13Like, she was like, oh, like, y'all moving in together, and y'all not married, and she's
06:19like, you know, things could happen.
06:21That is a benefit.
06:22I'll tell you that, because we would have had some unclear presents.
06:26The crib would be next to Cheddar's Kittle.
06:29I can't be in the Olympics, because I don't got no swimmers, baby.
06:32Let's go!
06:33Good one!
06:34Wait!
06:35Don't shoot!
06:36I love you!
06:37I love you!
06:38I love you!
06:39I love you!
06:40I love you!
06:41I love you!
06:43I love you!
06:44I love you!
06:45I love you!
06:46I love you!
06:47I love you!
06:48I love you!
06:49You all have fun today!
06:53you all have fun today thank you so we all went out for dinner and we were just trying to get a
07:05feel for if Jay and Pamela are prepared for the wedding the move you know especially since Jay
07:11just got out of the hospital are the finances still intact to make sure everything gets taken
07:18care of and their response was what we have come to see as this generational response to that's fine
07:26yeah forget about it it's good we're good the one thing about getting married you have to work it
07:33out you can't depend on your parents to bail you out so it's really on them to make sure that they
07:41have their budget in order but definitely don't want to start out a marriage in debt
07:48our transportation costs have definitely gone out since the band died however going to the sex
08:06conference is definitely worth the experience I'm excited and I know Pamela is excited let's go
08:13today is the big day we are at six down south and I don't know what we're gonna see and according
08:24to the website anything is possible so yeah I think it's interesting that um there's a lot of
08:31stuff going down really literally
08:33six down south there's different vendors I love earrings I'm trying to do some shopping
08:48all right let me show you all the guys we have penis whistles I think I blow the whistle literally
08:53and then there's rooms that you can go to and each room has a topic so you get to pick and choose
09:01what you want to learn and do I'm feeling energized oh my god you know like a rabbit I'm like hyped and
09:08also I'm excited to like encourage people that hey like there's a lot of sexy disabled people out
09:16there like don't be shy Alexa booty and nipple ones like I'm looking at everything I mean there's so
09:24many different things going on and smells sounds looks everything like dang like that's wild I'm gonna
09:33check out that table over there I'm gonna buy some goodies so take your time you may insert something into it
09:41what you put in it whatever they want to put in it wait a second wait a minute are you the mini
09:47producer oh my goodness look at you rolling up on me you could have spent all my money
09:53wait a minute I love you yes let's get it oh my goodness Oliver Twix is a performer that I know
09:59off of social media and we've been following each other for a while now mini producer on TikTok
10:04making music making beats I've seen your word we gotta come together now I have a video idea actually
10:10yeah okay so now the only thing I have to do is just like walk okay like that's that's the first
10:15step walk we don't have you know we might have to you know I might have to find a way to with that
10:19you're gonna be walking I'm gonna be rolling oh I done with the pressure I already don't think it's
10:24all about we're gonna be doing our thing we're gonna switch it up we're gonna do our thing
10:28all right sorry excuse me excuse me sorry excuse me thank you hey how are you I'm good how are you
10:37good are you enjoying the show the event yes it's my first time my first time my my fiance and I were
10:43we're getting married soon in November so I'm like I want to get some fun stuff for us before I met Jay
10:50I was unsure rather or not to get into another relationship and I also had trust issues from
11:00dating not so great people both able-bodied and disabled I've had just really toxic relationships
11:09especially when it came to cheating so that's why I have a hard time trusting people
11:15it's time for us to start setting up are you ready let's do it I'm used to doing presentations
11:23for school and things like that but this is it's a little bit more personal though
11:28just so large large and in charge oh man this is heavy what the heck that's a big boy
11:34yeah so introduce ourselves oh sorry I'll say hello thank you for being here welcome
11:39this is unfiltered sex love and disability and then you say okay okay okay more people coming in
11:52yeah oh there's a lot of people you ready ready as all of me it's okay it's okay oh my oh not a baby
12:04oh my I don't want to traumatize this little baby whose baby is this like when you say start early
12:12I mean you took that little yeah I don't feel comfortable now that there's a minor I'm not going
12:20to say that intro I don't want to do that okay we'll just we'll just say thank you for coming
12:24no get busy get it on make them cheeks clap whoa what we're not even gonna do I don't want to
12:34like no well maybe we're going to be talking about a lot of stuff okay no I don't want to do that
12:38Jesus Christ I mean do you want to we have to make a decision right now
12:42we're about to give our sex talk and even though we might have a small crowd
12:57I'm big nervous about these okay well you got to start oh shit what's up everybody let's hear
13:05so what's good thank you so much for being here my name is Pamela and I'm Jay and we're not siblings
13:15we are actually a couple and our topic for today will be unfiltered sex love and disability so I was
13:27born with a disability called osteogenesis perfecta type 3 my parents were told that I wasn't going to
13:34live past one year old and I'm way past that so I'm in my 30s and it affects my bones so that's why I'm
13:40short but that does not mean that I'm not a sexual being but like I wasn't really given much of a
13:47conversation of what sex was and also I didn't know that there was multiple layers to sexual orientation
13:54and for me you know I always had you know crushes and classmates with boys and also with girls and I
14:02was like oh that's really confusing I've always been you know like sexually open-minded even though I
14:08tried to suppress it because one I didn't want to get in trouble because that's how it felt and then also
14:16because at the time I had the same like religious beliefs as how I was raised I felt like very
14:24uncomfortable or like scared that I'm doing something very wrong and actually a lot of disabled people
14:31their first like physical touch and things like that is medical yeah and so like when you're being
14:38touched sexually for the first time like that can be conflicting of like oh like being touched can
14:44also be pleasurable and then also when you have a very prominent disability and very in your face
14:50people get curious and right now it's appropriate for y'all to ask y'all can ask us anything but in
14:57public if I'm over here just buying groceries and some random person asking you know can I feel my
15:03vagina I'm like whoa hold up wait a minute wait a minute I'm just like looking at the clearing section
15:10and I'm like talking about my vagina please at least buy me dinner yeah well I'm Jay I always like to say
15:18have a grab bag of disabilities because I have osteogenesis imperfecta type 3 same thing she does
15:23I'm autistic I'm hard of hearing and I'm also a trans man so my journey with my body image has been a
15:29real weird one uh because like my body was just like it exists but that's it I just didn't feel like
15:36people saw me in that way like I just had this thought that nobody wanted to be with me because I was
15:40disabled I didn't date she's the first person that I've been with sexually in general so I had to have a
15:47whole bunch of new experiences and I was personally nervous about that my first time like what do I
15:52do like what if I mess up like you know you didn't mess up
16:04my personal experience is different I started dating when I was about 19 years old somehow I kept
16:11attracting the same type of guy which was the wrong type of guy they would either say that were into
16:21me but only in private or I would get cheated on or they had some kind of mental stuff going on and I
16:33thought I was the best rehabilitation center I'm like oh I can change them and just it was always something
16:40always something that would happen so before Jay I stayed single for two years because enough with
16:46enough it's taken me a long time to get to this point because not only was I trying to just love
16:53myself being disabled but also being trans because like being black and trans I'm like pick pick a
16:59struggle you know pick a struggle it helps to have a partner that like helps break those myths and
17:08stigmas that like I have a lot of internalized ableism and a lot of things so yeah that's that's my little
17:13story
17:15um can you guys talk about OI in detail like what that really means and how it affects how you have that
17:24as we mentioned uh our disability is osteogenesis imperfecta type 3 which is a brittle bone disorder
17:30however there's different types so we have type 3 which is the second most severe past infancy because
17:35typically type 2 you die uh not to be morbid but that's what it is so yeah very early on like we break easily we really do
17:43talk to each other because we deal with chronic pain every single day we're in pain and so it's
17:47really important to have those conversations like are you having a bad pain day we're not doing it today
17:51because like I ain't trying to break something like there's multiple different ways of like
17:56communication and then what's you know is best for both parties or multiple people I mean that's your
18:02business you know so that ties into sex toys you know it's funny story about this real quick
18:11just called a packer by the way what was it for so a packer you put in your pants and it's to create
18:15the you know illusion that you have you know stuff going down there I used to wear a packer but since
18:20I'm disabled and I'm in a chair it's just too much work man one day it falls in the toilet
18:27I had to explain oh uh excuse me can you come in the stall and then my little thing fell in the toilet
18:33I was like oh oh sorry and then we're looking at each other because everyone is this part of his
18:37disability or it's just like and I'll be like can you just hand this to me and then now I gotta
18:41wash it in the sink yeah now I gotta wash it in the sink so I don't wear a packer no more in case
18:46anyone's wondering that's not even my size packer to be honest so stop stop
18:56thank y'all so much we really appreciate every single one of you it's been an honor thank you
19:02thank you and thank you to my fiancee thank you the talk went better than we could have hoped for
19:09it it was pretty overwhelming to me with just a lot of people that are very open only because
19:15it's just a lot at once but I'm still glad I came me too because I picked up some sexy surprises to
19:22take home it's gonna put you to work
19:40it's a sex book journal wait is that a schedule of when we have sex it is a sex planner book an
19:44appointment I told you I'm not the only one who does this this is definitely an autistic thing right
19:50here you love a good schedule and then we can use these bookmarks for our books yeah oh my
19:57look at them I'm I'm looking right you know I don't I don't think I can do or I don't think
20:02you can do or yes we can I think we can do almost everything you know maybe on our wedding night
20:08our honeymoon why wait oh we better have our own place before we try any of these letters it might get
20:15loud the only time I won't want you to be quiet I can't be mad that was smooth
20:27they know I'm on my way that's the one with the spark right there let's do it I'm a music producer
20:32I primarily produce hip-hop music I said I'm on my way hold on don't overthink it too much you'll know
20:42when it feels good
20:49early morning time to hustle late at night time to hustle nine to five time to hustle on the job time to hustle
21:00hey what's going on good to see you yeah you too
21:05I've been producing music for about 10 years now even though the wedding stuff has to get done in a hurry
21:11work waits for no one because I still got to make money to pay for it I'd like to have the
21:16rapper to be on the verses and then get a hook done because the other guys look more like a singer
21:22I primarily produce hip-hop music for independent recording artists and major artists as well
21:27I sell my instrumentals online on my own website and I enjoy working with artists all over the world
21:32and also creating content hey hey what's happening what's happening what's up it's good to see you
21:39mini producer what's going on with it today I'm doing a studio session with a rapper named
21:46question atl and a singer named 2am ricky a lot of blessings on the horizon hey listen I had to
21:52include you in it so you know we're here we're gonna have a fun day fire you guys can sit on the
21:57couch fashowski that way you can be comfortable I don't know what it's like to stand up I love working
22:02with recording artists who have disabilities and helping them grow their businesses pick and boo
22:08what's that my boy shoot sneaking up on me what's up how you doing how you doing this is 2am ricky
22:14what's up brother how you feeling nice to see you you want to listen to the let's go yes please
22:19so this is a different vibe
22:26i'm on my way now i got the money and the power and the fame now i said i'm on my way
22:32that's the one with the spark right there let's do it jay is a very intuitive producer and to work
22:40with someone who is that detailed doesn't happen all the time but it makes our job so much easier
22:45hold on let me do let me punch in on that line the blind man has just been making my way don't
22:55overthink it too much about like oh if i if you bleed into the hook because emily can move stuff around
23:00and and make it work for me every time i work with many producers it's just always going to be
23:05a 10 out of 10 accuracy with the vibe you're trying to take what you need sometimes it take time
23:12you gotta go for what you need gotta take mine i'm going through every line i'm trying to go for
23:17mine i yeah yeah let me start over that's that's a great place to start you're literally starting
23:23where i envisioned you to start okay perfect thank you i caught it now you'll know when it feels good
23:28the next time i'm in the studio i'm gonna be a married man that's wild i'm telling you i'm practicing
23:34to be a flower boy all right all right listen you better have your throat yeah i'm inviting both of
23:40them to the wedding because they're more than just artists that i work with they've actually
23:44become good friends all right brother appreciate you i'll see you on the wedding day let's holler
23:52yes and i'll see y'all soon thank you so much
23:55is that the song that you did yesterday yeah you like it okay that sounds good hey thank you
24:12i'm gonna go cut my hair okay okay i love you i love you i'm gonna check out some of these apartments
24:17that shakina sent over for us to look at if there's anything good save them for me we're trying to do all
24:22these things that require a lot of money like the wedding and moving out and all these things so
24:29i cut my own hair that saves money i don't cut my own hair i tried that one time and i never did
24:35again yeah i look funny i had to go bald nothing's popping yet damn we don't have much time to find a
24:43place for real since you're here i was thinking about get my hair and makeup done professionally for
24:52the wedding that would be really nice because you haven't done that i'm very curious for this makeup
24:58and hair trial because i didn't even you know get hair and makeup done for prom i did it myself
25:06so you know i'm like you know what i'm gonna do it for my wedding day yeah i mean between recently
25:12being in the hospital and dealing with all this hard stuff and all this wedding stuff you know i
25:17really want to look and feel my best so i'm really looking into getting you know in the gym getting a
25:23trainer that i can you know work out with and stuff like that who you trying to look good for yes you
25:30come on now if you're gonna be looking like a cover girl at our wedding i'm not trying to look all dusty
25:34are you gonna keep it up are you just doing it for the wedding no i definitely want to keep it
25:39up like as far as longevity and just living a fulfilling life it's it is important for us to
25:45be as physical as possible that's my homework and we have a couple friends we still need to ask to be
25:52in our wedding party not my parents though they're not going to be in the wedding party however they
25:56still will be loving and supportive and in the front row i'll be finishing up soon i'm sure you probably
26:01got a tinkle or something okay okay okay i love you i love you i love you i love you too okay i want
26:10to hear it nice and clear i love hair and makeup because i like changing your style i guess um and then
26:28like bring out your personality like your inside to your outside personality thank you bye babe have
26:37fun working out see you later fern i cannot believe the wedding is only weeks away hi welcome how are you
26:47how are you i'm good good to see you good to see you i'm tamela would you like anything to drink before
26:53we get started um water please absolutely you got it you want to help you with that you got it oh so
26:58strong yes all right you can pull right up here if you'd like yes thank you yeah and this chair raises
27:05up about a foot so you want me to raise it yes i think that would be good
27:13what are you thinking about doing um i love pictures pictures i would like to have more like side
27:20pieces you have a few but i would love to give you those soft elegant curls and then for makeup i
27:26really wanted like a little bit of like smoky on the out edges i love that idea it's gonna look really
27:33pretty oh is it okay that my friend can come in and hang out with her oh absolutely we can pull up a
27:39chair for her my friend fern is going to join me for my makeup trial i'm happy to be able to
27:46share that experience with her she's going to drop off jay to work out and then come back
27:59i have not been to the gym since college so i set up an appointment with a personal trainer
28:05willing to work out with me even having my disability and i'm just super excited for what's about to
28:11happen yo let's get it i'm looking like i'm running away how have you been good you all right great
28:22i invited one of my best friends josh along because he's in town for a few days to visit family he's a
28:27really great guy and he actually happens to be an amazing artist who i've been working with for years
28:33and also i'm gonna ask him an important question which is to be my best man for the wedding i like the
28:39feet i like the ones come on up something i like about jay i tell him all the time like he's one of
28:45the most positive people i know he he has hard times everybody has hard times but he always comes
28:50out on the other side of them and he always does the best that he can no excuses that's that's my motto
28:58welcome to the gym nice to meet you i'm sierra i love your shoes by the way even though working out
29:04with oh i can be dangerous i just have to be very cautious and careful but fortunately i haven't
29:09hurt myself knock on wood i've hurt myself doing many other things like trying to break dance i had
29:15more of a little meaning to that but i'm just ready for a great time so when was the last time you
29:19worked out the last time i worked out yeah it's been a minute i definitely want to be you know in
29:24shape and stronger and just staying fit and i'm going to be getting married soon so i want to look as
29:29great as possible for you know the day and i'm really excited so i love that are you staying in
29:36the chair there has to be a lot of trust that's involved when it comes to like lifting us up i did
29:44have someone who assisted me and fell with me so i did have some breaks it can be dangerous
29:49are you staying in the chair
29:58i'm unable to get out on the floor by myself and that means that that requires someone else to assist
30:05me thankfully i'm comfortable with josh lifting me up and taking me out of my chair onto the floor
30:11because i've had him do it before it's like an initiation to be my friend let's get it all right
30:16okay i can move my chair up if that's okay all right okay cool
30:22we're gonna lift this up
30:26yo it's all good you're breaking your body all right let's get it yep
30:40are you able to get into a push-up position let me see yeah
30:43yeah yes yes yes yes awesome awesome so you're gonna do 10 push-ups take a breather okay good we're
30:52getting into it
30:58mm-hmm good jay josh try to push up all the way up oh man rip it out jay you better get these push-ups
31:05get you pampered for the first time it feels like a lot of fun but at the same time i have a thing
31:25where like it's kind of awkward to be like touched but they're like really kind and sweet and
31:33like explain everything so i'm in good hands
31:37hello hello hi how are you oh hi how are you hi how are you how are you how are you thank you
31:45thank you thank you
31:46uh-huh
31:50good you sound that you saw in matrimony or no
31:54no no no you really want to get married yeah i want to get married tomorrow oh okay
31:59my friend and i met because ever since our van broke down she um was our driver and um she's a
32:09very good person and easy person to talk to i'm so glad you're here fern i'm so happy to be here
32:15yeah definitely need a friend to come with you yeah and get another opinion like yeah
32:21melena and i became friends very quickly because we have similar cultural backgrounds
32:26and similar struggles with our parents except in our life choices
32:29yeah you look beautiful thank you
32:36okay i do low all right you ready
32:42okay here you go
32:46wow oh my gosh i've never seen my eyes look like that before
32:50you look pretty you like it
32:52yes i don't even recognize myself seeing myself in the mirror i'm glad that it looks really nice
33:00it feels good that that's something i won't have to worry about on my wedding day super pretty jay's
33:06gonna love it yeah but i wanted to ask you something dale i know fern and i we haven't known each
33:15other for a long time but i have learned it's not about how long you've known someone it's about how
33:25that person has impacted your life in a positive way
33:30okay yeah i would love to be your bridesmaid yeah thank you that's awesome thank you for asking me
33:51good jay tucking your butt josh yes jay oh my god jay is doing so freaking
34:00good you feel stronger oh yeah i might be able to lift you up after this one
34:05i'm here for that like he is holding these planks he's doing these push-ups
34:10your future wife gonna be real happy can we get a picture together because i want to remember this
34:15moment i would love to take a picture let's do it you're gonna throw your muscles up hey
34:21man i am so excited to have done this workout i mean the gym gym is life whatever the quote is
34:26like they say you you don't use it you lose it all right got it it's another workout and it's so free
34:33it's wild but josh and i haven't had a chance to catch up in a couple months there we go and i'm
34:39excited and nervous to ask him to be my best man so man the wedding is like super super close i know
34:47how are you feeling about that i'm getting excited the one thing like you know pamela and like her
34:52family is still a little iffy i don't really they don't like really understand the whole trans thing
34:57i think they're just still like what does that mean which honestly i understand and also my parents
35:02seem a little bit uncomfortable with the whole wedding and moving out thing i mean ultimately man
35:09they just gonna have to fall in line this is your life this is pamela's life exactly you guys find
35:15happiness within each other that's all that matters that's all that matters which brings me to that
35:19question i need a best man all right yeah you want to be the best man man you already know man
35:27i appreciate you man this line dancing yeah wait electric slide especially doing this work i'll be able
35:33to do all the dances i've never been asked to be someone's best man before so it's a first for me
35:40that alone means a lot because he's been something to me that i haven't had so i'm glad that i could
35:46return that favor i'm excited to have you involved in a wedding man you've been a big part of my life
35:51so yeah i get to go through the experience with you when you get married exactly yeah do you know what
35:56you're wearing oh yeah
36:03i'm happy so how are you feeling about the whole family situation
36:15they say they are happy for me and they love me but my dad is not really talking to me that much
36:22anymore and your daddy's little princess yeah like i'm not used to that i've always been more close to
36:30my dad than my mom like emotionally and things more connection but now it's just hard for him
36:37and doesn't understand you know the marriage that i'm going into that was very different
36:46from what he thought it would be while i was growing up as his princess
36:50he'll be like oh when you were born like they told us that you were gonna die
36:59and he's so proud of me before right yeah i last spoke to my dad about a month ago and
37:15he said that he would talk to my mom and figure out the plans of coming to the wedding but i haven't
37:24spoke to them since now neither one of them are talking to me it's okay it's okay i get it yeah it's
37:38okay i don't think he wants to lose his princess i know fern is right and i need to let my parents
37:46figure this out themselves but i do hope that they come to the wedding so i saw your posts can't wait
37:55to get to know you you didn't tell me she was a woman why are you laughing
38:03i don't know can you give me my shot yeah whatever
38:21cheddar look at you the workout was great i like working out with someone in person
38:27i just like the interaction and also making sure i'm doing something correctly
38:32and so yeah this is just an exciting time that i finally found someone that i can be able to
38:36work out with and really make it work look at those shoulders are you working out
38:48all right let's make this quick all right well cheddar go down go ahead
38:56testosterone is the hormone that i take from my medical transition
39:00which i started over five years ago the levels when you start taking testosterone for long enough
39:08they do match to be uh the same as a like biological meal come on
39:19you seem very tripper whatever are you good i'm fine
39:24what's that man one two three
39:45the two kisses i'm not in mood right now
39:48so i saw your post
39:55and what post can't wait to get to know you
40:07your new trainer yeah what's that all about well because after my first session i will be going there
40:14you know more so i'm gonna have to get to know her and then you didn't tell me she was a woman
40:20okay my last serious relationship before jay the breakup was painful because mike's boyfriend started
40:28dating one of my best friends now that we're planning for the wedding it's like i don't know i feel very
40:35very vulnerable and very protective of jay you should have told me that she's a woman yes
40:45it's not her fault why are you laughing
40:48it's not funny are you lying about something
40:53jay is like laughing it off and i understand that he has autism but at the same time i've had just
41:02really messed up experiences with cheating and him not taking it serious can be triggering she's just
41:09the trainer but you're laughing when i'm coming up with this concern yeah i mean i don't think it's
41:15funny it's an uncomfortable like situation why because you did something more than training
41:22i think she likes it oh she's like oh we still have so much to get done for this wedding we need to
41:42get the food so this is going to be our almond cake we can eat the whole piece right if we like okay
41:47absolutely and we have to finalize our wedding party i'm thinking about asking my brother to take
41:54me down the aisle somebody going to represent i wanted to ask you if you would like to go down
42:01the aisle with me unless you think our parents are coming to the wedding on top of the wedding planning
42:09we still need to find an apartment the apartment has a step that's a step we wouldn't even be able
42:15to close the doors every single place we go to it's not working out this is an idiot this is an
42:21idiot at all yeah i would feel defeated if we don't end up love before we get married have y'all talked
42:29about what life looks like just you two if we're gonna live on our own i want to learn to drive what oh
42:36my gosh if pomella gets her driver's license i will not ride with her initially initially as my wife
42:44prompted me to say it's hard to respect people who can't even show their own blood respect yeah and
42:51like i don't care my child marriage an alien that would never abandon my child all right i'm gonna
42:57care a little bit i still got your back but i'm gonna have some questions all right
43:05it's hard for me to see i'm a little upset about her family because at the end of the day like
43:11you hope that your parents are going to be the first people that you have in your life that
43:16really have your back and when you don't have that it really hurts