For "Mamas at Work," the actress talks about her motherhood journey, Baby Yams business, dancing with Doechii and more.
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00:00hey everybody i'm victoria umarogi the senior lifestyle editor here at essence and i'm here
00:04with the one and only black girl magic personified iconic fabulous tatiana ali and we are here for
00:12mamas at work yes thank you for making the time so it's such an honor to talk with you today
00:19thank you for inviting me to essence yes yes and so we're here to talk about many things motherhood
00:26of course um but first and foremost so many people they know you as an actress as the ashley banks
00:32from the fresh prince of ballet but you're also a reproductive justice advocate and that said can
00:38you talk about your brand baby yams and this great idea of just providing a covering of sorts for new
00:43mothers and their babies and how it all came to be yes so um i came to my advocacy in this space
00:50from my own experience with my my son who is now eight years old he's my oldest and um i you know
00:58had a very healthy pregnancy and that all changed when we got to the hospital um i was restrained our
01:07birth plan wasn't followed and my son ended up staying uh for his first few days in the NICU of
01:14life in the NICU because of what happened during um during my birth and we i can only say my husband
01:25and i like experienced ptsd afterwards and we had a brand new baby at home right yeah that we're taking
01:29care of our first-time parents and um it wasn't until i became pregnant again that it you know i realized
01:39i couldn't do it that way again and i really didn't know where to turn this is eight years ago
01:44right um and i had shared uh actually looking for community because all the women in my family
01:52were told that they didn't have enough breast milk but i was determined i was going to breastfeed
01:57and do it you know up to two years old at least okay i was going to go for it and um i was really
02:03searching for community because i didn't have a lot of advice from women who are wise in so many other
02:07ways in my life and um i posted about that and an organization called black mamas matter alliance
02:15reached out for me to talk about nursing it just so happens that when i was there on that stage i was
02:21almost three months pregnant too early to talk about it but absolutely terrified and like looking for
02:28how who would care for me and i found myself in a room it was their very second annual convening
02:37and i found myself in a room of um black and brown midwives and doulas and activists and pregnant and
02:46all i just like dove in to learn as much as i could i went to conventions in santa fe and anyway
02:52this is the the long version of the story no i found my my midwife uh in that community um and i
03:00never have experienced health care like that before in my life the the expertise the love the listening
03:07and during that time i made a quilt i i sew my um my grandma sewed my dad sews i work on his sewing
03:18machine that he's given me um and that's always just been my you know thing that i do hobby and i
03:25i sewed my first quilt for for alejandro my youngest and my husband and i we sewed blessings we wrote
03:33blessings on for him and it was really this expression of this joy and expectancy i was feeling i'd been
03:41you know doing the advocacy work while pregnant i had been meeting mom groups i was given a piece of
03:47bancara by one of those mom groups you know that wrapped body butters and all kinds of beautiful
03:52things and that quilt that became part of that quilt i got so many compliments on that quilt that
04:00i mean it in the sense that it people wanted to know where it came from yeah who made it why did you
04:09make it and it became like an entry point into me sharing my experience and sharing also what i was
04:15learning yeah and um this last black maternal health week decided to make quilts like that
04:22actually each pattern that i've designed of the quilt is a blessing one of the blessings that i put
04:27on my son's quilt so the first pattern is a blessing of abundance the second is joy we have a peace
04:33pattern um i want to do friendships i want to do just all our wishes for our children and um
04:39they sold out in a few days oh wow and um a portion of the proceeds of the blankets go towards
04:46grants for midwives black midwives and doulas indigenous midwives and doulas who are really on the
04:53on the on the ground giving us the care that we need and actually building a a a totally different
05:01kind of system structured completely differently and um and it's working you know it's not the the black
05:09maternal health statistics that you hear everybody knows what the causes are right you know racial
05:16bias doctors not listening to us not getting proper care in hospitals everybody knows and they also know
05:21that midwives and doulas work yeah um so that's the work i've been doing all these years and it's nice
05:28now to be able to change my narrative from one where i was advocating and sharing my story which is hard
05:34to tell and also there's always that fear of like am i i don't want to scare anybody you know i want
05:41because that's the time in your life where you should be expected right when you make that choice
05:45um but now i can i can tell this story of beauty and what covering looks like and that that kind of care
05:54exists yeah and that we're giving that care to each other um and like you said protection yes i love what
06:01we want for our babies amen yeah for our families for ourselves yeah and i love the idea of like
06:06manifestation through the messages you put on the quilt yes for our children like i'm nigerian and so
06:10sometimes the names that often that we come up with for our children are based in like thanking god
06:16for blessings and things like that and just wearing a crown and all these things that are meant to uplift
06:21them in some way as they go through their life's journey so i think it's really awesome that you're
06:25offering that to people through your quills i think that's so cool awesome and the name baby yams
06:32the name baby yams came to me um everywhere i've traveled you know um the the west indies
06:43here throughout the united states uh places that we eat yams yeah right it's like it's a food of the
06:50diaspora yeah it's it's um it's a super food and and then if you've ever seen baby like yams they
07:00look like little baby legs like you know the little fat that they have on their legs so honestly that
07:05was just a a name that came to me that i just absolutely fell in love with and that's part of
07:11the message right because the the i'm using ankara i'll hopefully be able to use fabrics from other regions
07:16and it is a celebration of the diaspora these very very deep uh roots that we have and you know a lot
07:25of with with the midwifery and the doula care a lot of that is the reviving of of ways of care that
07:32were purposefully dismantled right yeah so that we could not benefit from it so yeah yeah midwifery is
07:40not new in the least yeah and also i have to touch on it like briefly but you have to tell me how
07:46long you've been quilting oh quilting well i've been sewing longer than i've been quilting that's
07:51quilt that i made for my son was my first quilt okay it was the first quilt like 2019 that was 2019
07:58that was 2019 so it was my very first one um but i love to sew i'm uh my grandmother did this like she
08:05sewed all the throw pillows and she sewed um a lot of household items and those are the things that
08:12i like to sew because there's an aesthetic that i'm interested in that i cannot find when i'm looking
08:17for like a quilt or curtains or no like for real like all so i sew all those things in my house i find
08:24the fabrics that i like that are you know have the colors that i like the the cultural meaning that i
08:30like because i like to have that in my home and uh so that's more of what i've made in the past and
08:36that was my very first quote okay so i'm still very much learning as a quilter they look amazing
08:41about quilters famous black quilters throughout our history yes still very much a learner yes i
08:46recently met the women of g's bend um yes in alabama yes their quilts are fantastic yes oh my god
08:52they're so beautiful yes i love it so beautiful and they have like a free hand nature to them that i
08:59that i'm i yes i do know that's one of the things in my thing i'm like i want to try to do it like
09:04that nice yeah i love that and i think that sometimes i know you you said it can be difficult
09:12to talk about the experience that you had giving birth to your first son i know you wrote about
09:15it for essence i did you did yeah i think that sometimes people feel like uh famous people are
09:21supposed to get like you're likely getting an elevated level of service or care when you go
09:27out here and you're doing anything including giving birth but we know what happened serena and
09:32we know you know you sharing your experience so you know as we get ready for black maternal health week
09:39can you speak to what you learned like from that experience and how it i know you said you went to
09:45the event and that is where you garnered a lot of the support that you need that's where it started
09:49yeah um welcome your son in a healthy and a joyous way like what are the some of the things that
09:56you took away from that experience without having to recount it that really were like this has to
10:00change for other women they don't have to experience this from from the hospital experience yeah or from
10:07oh i mean by the way there were some things some special treatments i got okay like for example no
10:14really like oh you can have this room over here in the corner i was in los angeles so there was kind of
10:20like oh we know you're an actor you can all superficial things all things that have nothing to do with what you
10:25need yeah nothing to do with what you need um the the things that need to change there's a it it is
10:36it's a it's it appears because of racial bias there's also a patriarchal bias there's a lot of historical
10:44reasons right when when um when birth was taken over by the hospital system by by white men predominantly
10:55right there's a belief that in the in that modality that they are going to give birth for you that they
11:06are going to get the bait that you are not connected to what's happening your means to an end yes yes and at
11:16every turn that is what i was up against no one cared what i had to say no one cared what i felt physically
11:24when i knew with every fiber of my being that i needed to move they pinned me down it was just
11:32and the levels of that when you don't have autonomy control over your own body when other people think
11:41that they have more control over your body than you it ups ups ups ups ups in levels of
11:47it was wild in there like my delivery room turned into a circus so autonomy
11:57is number one this person who is giving birth that is their body that's not your body yeah and also the
12:07belief that i found it amazing that they thought they wanted my child to be safer than i did
12:12why don't you trust me right i brought them this nobody loves them more than me right yeah
12:22but there was that was going on too it's it's really it's an entire culture change that has to take place
12:28and and part of that culture change as doulas are now working in hospitals to protect their patients
12:39to guide us they also have to be granted autonomy to do that and not be absorbed into the hospital
12:47system they have to have that autonomy to care for us to back us up to protect us yeah so true so true and
12:55i know a lot of black women in general have like even myself i had not the greatest experience when
13:02i had my second son um and so when people ask me now like you're gonna have another one because
13:06they're both boys are you gonna have a girl you want a girl i'd be like i'm gonna have to be the girl
13:11in the house because i don't know about all of that but i think sometimes those things whether they're
13:16small traumas or massive ones like they can really just create a fear or create a an anxiety when it comes to
13:23birthing again so in what ways did the midwife that you found help alleviate that fear as you
13:29prepared to welcome your second son because as you said you did go into it fearful and it's like you
13:33want to have another child like parenting and all that is beautiful like these children are beautiful
13:39but the process of like getting them here yeah when everyone is like go to the hospital like
13:46that's the main way or you know they act like doing it at home sometimes this is out of the box or
13:53things of that nature you know how did having that support system with this woman because i know you
13:59had a doula at the hospital correct with my first birth yes i did but she was it i did and she was a doula that
14:08worked with the hospital oh got you and so she was their best interests for her focus yeah they were
14:14yeah they were and it was almost it was very interesting because that's the way that she
14:19operated i didn't know the the difference it was just actually that term was just a term that i knew so
14:23i actually asked my gynecologist at the like oh i've heard about this thing oh and he was like oh i know
14:30the best one because that's who the hospital like to work with and um i know that there were things
14:38going on that i remember her trying to okay but don't do it anymore don't move anymore because they're
14:44gonna hold it's gonna get worse but there was a lot of it was it was a mess yeah it was a mess
14:51um when when i worked with rasha lawler um a black midwife at the time she was in la
15:03she treated me as a whole person so it wasn't just my pregnancy it was my experiences and part of
15:12those experiences that were especially salient were was that trauma and i finally had like a sister i
15:19could just talk to about it yeah who didn't you know who knew i wasn't saying something wild
15:27like my story she understood my story yeah and she walked with me through it um she even told me
15:35what to look out for you know there might come a time right when it's time for birth that that might
15:41come back i want you to be aware of that now you know this woman we had such a we created such a
15:48relationship she prayed at my feet when i got scared it's just it's just that's what i mean when
15:56i say i've never experienced health care like that right yeah somebody like with loving hands and
16:06in pregnancy and in birth
16:08it's such an incredible experience that
16:16it's sacred yeah that's how it should be treated
16:20you know yeah i'm glad she was able to provide you with that after everything you've experienced
16:25that's amazing and but also can i tell you something yeah writing it down not everybody has you know every
16:33i i i shared people have different ways of sharing but a lot of us have experienced different traumas
16:39so when i started sharing my my mom told me her story my aunts had stories everybody i know
16:48everybody i come across has a story all different ages but we have to write it down
16:54or get it outside of us in some way because that is not
17:02i've held it inside my body for so long yeah and there are ways to get it outside of you
17:09yeah no it's deep definitely um but now you have two healthy and happy young boys young men
17:17no young boys i'm just kidding i'm trying to wheel time i'm trying to wheel time i'm just kidding
17:24that said how do you balance the work you're doing with baby hams acting your friendships your
17:29marriage with motherhood like
17:35um i
17:39i'm still i'm still figuring it out i also volunteer in our school in our school
17:47pta and yeah and in the library i'm like one of the library moms um i'm still figuring that out i
17:53have um an incredible support system i think it's really important to remember that this idea that
18:01we're supposed to do alone this independence idea is like a lie and it's some strange western culture
18:08that i don't i don't even know if that's true but i know that you know i don't know where it comes
18:12from but it's not true yeah we have to have community and we have to have a village and
18:20and women and other people who are there to support us to help and and so i lean on people yeah you
18:30know i have i have a tribe i have a tribe i have multiple tribes i have tribes you know in different
18:37i'm part of tribes in different places that sometimes we can only get on a face time or
18:41sometimes we can i have my mom group in my in my community where i live um i'm lucky that i have
18:47family um but you have to you you have to seek that out and then i just try to balance and and i do
18:56sacrifice some things there's some things that i can't necessarily go 300 on and hustle like i did in
19:03my 20s yeah because they they come first my boys come first so
19:13you know those are all the pots yeah yeah you just like ding ding ding
19:22and you're like oh this is working for a while and then after a while you're like oh no this song sucks
19:26stop uh pause gotta reset okay this was right thanks thanks gotta figure out what's working
19:35that's so real and a good luck on the bathroom dirt yeah girl doesn't matter it doesn't matter my
19:40kids will be like right in front of me don't care while i'm trying to pee can i have a minute no i'm in
19:45the shower and my kids will be like mom you're naked well i am in a shower i'm taking a shower
19:52place for that i'll scream out privacy my kids are like i have no idea what that means um got you got
20:00you nice and that said you know you're still hard at work out here on t on our tv screens most recently
20:06with avid elementary yeah congratulations i did want to ask you like as you mentioned like sometimes
20:11you can't go 100 and there are sacrifices that are required do you being the parent that you are
20:18being hands-on you're in pta the whole shebang does that like impact like what kind of roles and
20:23opportunities you take uh yes it does yes it does sometimes um you know and this just i i i've talked
20:33to other working moms and i feel like this is a common thing there's like a laser focus that starts
20:38that happens that i didn't have before i became a parent um you know i was uh you know oh let me
20:46try that oh like oh i'm not it's not rubbing me right but i'll just i'll just it won't hurt anything
20:53let me just go for no it's got to be it's got to be right it's got to be what i know in my spirit
21:02is aligned like oh no this is this is something that's important right and then and that's it
21:11because there's not a lot of time to fritter exactly otherwise it's taken away from your focus
21:17yeah yeah does it's a you know but but but you do have you know as a woman you have a purpose there's
21:23there's um our work has meaning to us yeah so and that's a part of you know what you get to share
21:33with your children even with baby yams like my kids go with me to the post office to mail
21:38out the blankets and they put you know they're helping out they're talking about starting their
21:42own businesses at like five and eight like i'm maybe i should do a lemonade stand or maybe i could
21:48i could sell my legos or like you know so it it brings something to the home our work so but still
21:57there's like a there's kind of like a laser focus that that i guess is the story i'm telling myself
22:04now but no but i guess that that's what i try to do you got you yeah no i totally understand and in
22:11addition to all that you're out here giving the people serious nostalgia because we were all obsessed
22:16with you and will smith and dochi doing the fresh prince dance to her song anxiety that was obviously
22:24extremely cool how was that for you and how did it come to be uh well the the the tick tock
22:34craze was sort of happening yes and then um actually will hit me up and um he i don't know where
22:42he was just like mic check i was like one two one two then he let me know about what was happening
22:48we were thinking about doing something together um and then don't you seem hit us both up and then
22:54so that's how it kind of and it was really just a matter of days and everything fell into place how
22:59organic yeah yeah everything fell into place and and it was really because fans of the show are
23:06people that you know what i mean they that's where it started oh wow and i love how close you guys all are
23:12by the way you and the cast the fresh prince like after all of these years you guys are like a big
23:15family are you it's like a family reunion every time you guys are together is there like an annual
23:19meetup or like i wish there was no i wish there was um but but we do we keep tabs it's like cousins
23:28yeah that's the best microphone check yeah because you're like yes i'm here what's up what are we doing
23:36where we meeting what's happening i love that i love that and lastly i wanted to ask you how do
23:42you practice self-care as a busy working mother because you know obviously it's working fabulously
23:48for you because you look 25 and the people want to know the youthfulness comes from what things that
23:54you're doing for yourself when you have the chance i'm not the one to ask this question i don't want i'm
24:00not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie to you a lot of people i'm working on it oh you're not you don't get a lot
24:04of time to do i am working on that carving and i will be totally honest with you i have been working
24:12since i was four years old and i am really really at this stage of my life learning
24:23learning about rest there's a woman who has um like the nat ministry yes i follow her and
24:30i'm so mesmerized by that and interested because i have to learn so that is i mean that's just the
24:41honest truth i love that though the transparency of like all i've known is working since i was
24:47not even a kid kid like a toddler i'm learning about that i'm learning about also like the fact
24:53that that's like potentially like generational that that's like a part of the trauma like i'm
25:01learning that i tell my kids things like that like i'll say to my kids um you look like you need
25:08something to do oh my mom used to say that to me we all used to hear that no they don't they're just
25:16playing why do they need something to do what is the reason that that has been said to us for so
25:22long they they can just play and i know as an artist i know as a creative person that's when
25:28the magic happens yeah so where's the i i'm i'm truly working on that and and yeah i am truly working
25:35on that right now in this moment but i cannot give anybody any advice if y'all have advice
25:40dm me that's tell me what to do that's incredibly deep though because i yeah i think a lot of us
25:48i talk with my friends about that all the time about like you'll have a day off and you just
25:51you almost feel guilty for just staying in the house and doing nothing yeah oh no not do nothing
25:55if i'm going to stay in the house well i'm going to clean i'm going to do the laundry i'm going to
26:00clear out the pantry i'm going to make sure that and i count that as time off that's wrong what is
26:06going on girl you over here preaching on what day is it on a thursday girl on a thursday but
26:13i'm working i'm working on it i love that though but what is it what would you like to do then maybe
26:17what is your goal with self-care what would you like to travel more and i would love to travel more
26:23i have a um a garden i would love to i definitely planted my stuff for the for the for the spring
26:30but i'd like to just like be in it more yeah take care of that stuff more um
26:39you know just sit with my kids and just play on the ground with them more
26:44you know i do i do it but just like for a long like without a
26:52okay all right i'll be no no you guys keep going i'll be right back let me go
26:56did it that would be nice i'd love that i'm work like that's what i'm trying to get and i know it's
27:03possible it's just
27:07get in my mind not to think that i gotta yeah yeah you know something's gonna get lost
27:15something is i gotta hustle yeah yeah yeah it's something about this capital it's something about
27:22this that's it's not just work work is okay yeah work is can be you know the fruits of our hands
27:28that can that's but it's the other stuff that we put on it right or at least i put on it
27:36well we started the conversation talking about manifesting through on your quilts the messages you
27:41have for the children and we're going to manifest all of this opportunity for you to do what you want
27:46play with your kids be in your garden travel and live your best life and we we're doing it for you
27:52so i this has been such an enriching conversation tatiana i really i'm loving everything you're doing
27:57with baby ams and advocacy work because you're saving lives and it makes a difference by helping
28:02people get the support they need to give birth in a healthy and joyous way so thank you so much for
28:07being my first on the camera you know conversation for mommas at work yeah i'm telling you we've been in the
28:14house all the time like how you doing girl so this is fabulous oh my goodness i love it thank you