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01:02I'm alone in the wild
01:04Everything you see from now on will be filmed by me
01:11I came out here because I wanted to discover if I could do this
01:15I wanna do extraordinary things
01:18That's brilliant
01:27I keep hearing things
01:31I saw a bear, I saw a bear
01:35Don't run, don't run, don't run, don't run
01:37I lost an incredible amount of weight
01:41Because I'm not getting enough food
01:43Things are beginning to get serious now
01:53It's a beautiful place but
02:10But there either isn't enough food here to keep me alive
02:13Or I just don't have the skills and the knowledge
02:18To access it
02:20To feed myself
02:21I need something to change
02:26I need something struck of luck
02:29I need more food
02:31Food
02:33Con
02:50Ok, I've got to go fishing. I've got my fishing rod in my backpack and I'm going down the river.
03:03This river feeds into the Yukon and the Yukon into the sea.
03:07So at some point soon there should be salmon in this river.
03:12If I can just start catching salmon then that's a really good source of food for me.
03:23Ok, this is the perfect spot.
03:28Come on fish.
03:32Right in the weeds. Useless.
03:39I'm pretty sure if there were salmon here then I'd know it.
03:44They're great big red fish but there's nothing here yet. No salmon.
03:53Nada. Zilch. Zero.
03:58I really don't have a choice in it.
04:00You know whatever comes out of the river I've got to keep it and take it home and cook it.
04:04Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
04:08Look at that bad boy.
04:11Yay.
04:12Don't tell me I've got another one.
04:15I've got another fish.
04:17I've got another one.
04:19It's still kind of small.
04:22I'm going to need bigger fish than this.
04:25Well, there's a mixture of trout and grayling.
04:29So tonight's dinner is probably going to be some kind of fish soup, you know.
04:48There are huge berry patches here.
04:50Look at all that.
04:51Blueberries.
04:52Mmm.
04:53Really good.
04:54Mmm.
04:55They taste great.
04:56Mmm.
04:57Full of energy.
04:58That's exactly what I need.
04:59And I've got so many that I'm getting quite excited that that's starting to look like proper food.
05:15You know.
05:16I remember when I was a kid, my mum would be in the kitchen cooking a big Sunday roast.
05:25Me and my brother and my sister would go out into the garden and fill the whole saucepan with berries and that would be our pudding for Sunday lunch.
05:32So, I've got pudding.
05:49On nights like this when I've got a good fire and I've got some food on the go, I just think maybe I'm the luckiest man alive.
05:58It's a beautiful, beautiful place.
06:02And I've got everything I need, you know.
06:05This is my dream.
06:07And maybe I've done it.
06:09Maybe I can survive in the wild now.
06:32This place really is pretty amazing.
06:34I'm living the dream now.
06:36I mean, it's awesome.
06:39Every day the scenery around me changes like a television screen.
06:43But, I guess I still miss people.
06:47I don't think that'll ever go away.
06:49I'm always going to miss people.
06:51I need to have people around me to be happy.
06:53Truly.
06:54I found this big man.
06:59Look at that.
07:01Wow.
07:02So this is, this is Bruce.
07:05Oh.
07:06My name's Bruce.
07:07I live in the woods.
07:09Bruce is a moose.
07:10Yeah, I think he's a very big moose.
07:12The size of these antlers.
07:14Oh, his tooth's falling out.
07:17Oh, man.
07:19Brucey.
07:20Anyway, Bruce is going to be my new friend.
07:22I've decided exactly what I need.
07:25This guy comes along.
07:26The forest always brings up just what I need.
07:29So from now on, it's me and big Bruce here.
07:33You can sit there and keep warm by the fire.
07:49Before I came out here,
07:50I was concerned that spending three months on my own in the wilderness.
07:54So I met with a psychologist to talk about, you know,
07:58what things might help me when I'm out here.
08:03One of the things she suggested was to meditate.
08:15I'm supposed to go to this happy place to give my brain a rest.
08:19The one that I've thought of is just sitting around a table at home and all my friends are there.
08:26So that in the background is actually a caribou, I think.
08:27So that in the background is actually a caribou, I think.
08:55And he swam all the way from that side of the lake, halfway across the lake.
09:01And then he saw some swans coming in the opposite direction.
09:04And he turned around and started swimming back again.
09:07I've never seen one of these animals before.
09:11It's like a really large sized deer.
09:14Certainly a lot of meat on there for eating.
09:18He's really far away, but he's actually trying again.
09:23So he's pretty determined that he's going to get to that side of the lake tonight.
09:26He's an amazing swimmer though.
09:29I can't believe a deer can just swim like that for a mile upon mile.
09:34And he did it pretty fast as well.
09:36It must have taken him, what, 15 minutes to get the entire width of that lake.
09:41It's enormous.
09:42If I was allowed to hunt big game like that, it'd be excellent eating and he'd last for a good three or four weeks.
09:51That'd be really good food for me, but I've still got to abide by the laws of Canada.
09:57I'm not allowed to shoot that.
10:16I love this place now.
10:18I felt real passionate love for being here.
10:23It is an incredible place.
10:28But without people, it does just seem a little bit like surviving here.
10:34Not really living.
10:40And everything I do seems to just be to get by.
10:46And so the point is,
10:48is kind of beginning to wear a bit.
11:18According to my stick,
11:20I'm exactly halfway now.
11:22I'm at the halfway point in my journey.
11:25And that's six weeks done.
11:27Yay!
11:29Halfway!
11:3542 days.
11:36I haven't had any money in my pockets.
11:38Used a credit card, a mobile phone or the internet.
11:4242 days.
11:43I've been out here in this glorious wilderness.
11:4942 days.
11:5042 days.
11:51I've been alone.
11:56I really want to talk to people and touch people.
11:59And I miss people too much.
12:06I miss people too much.
12:07I miss people too much.
12:08holidays,
12:09I miss people.
12:10And I miss people too much.
12:11I miss people too much.
12:13Sorry.
12:30Incai ss.
12:32Well,
12:34the river is certainly deeper.
12:36So I come down here every day
12:40And to see if there are salmon here
12:43And they should be here by now
12:45But every day I check
12:48And there's nothing here yet
12:50No salmon
12:51You know I've been imagining
12:56The stuff that I've seen on telly
12:58You know with thousands and thousands
13:01Of salmon all piling up the river
13:03And
13:04Maybe that doesn't happen
13:07Maybe that only happens in specific places
13:11I mean just one salmon up here
13:15Could be 20 or 30 pounds of really good food
13:18Really good fish meat
13:20With lots of calories in it
13:22So it is really important to me
13:23That I find them at some point
13:25So I'm going to have to pack up
13:28Put my backpack on again
13:30And start trekking down the river
13:32And see if I can't find them
13:34I'm only a few hundred yards from my camp
13:55And that big moose is standing
13:58Right in the middle of the river
13:59I almost didn't notice him
14:00He definitely saw me before I saw him
14:02Wow
14:05It's just extraordinary being here
14:10And seeing these huge animals
14:11I'm going to see how close I can get
14:23All around me here
14:36There are these great big icons of the wilderness
14:39Big moose
14:40Bears
14:41Caribou
14:42Elk
14:42Bison
14:43Buffalo
14:44My gosh
14:46Bison
14:47I don't know
14:48There's definitely buffalo up there in the hills though
14:51Another fine meal that I'm not allowed to eat
14:57Even though I'm way out in the wilderness
14:59And I'm not allowed to shoot that moose
15:02So
15:03It kind of justifies the whole thing for me
15:07I could definitely live off the wild out here
15:10I've done it so far
15:12And if I could have moose
15:13I'd be fat
15:14And I'd be doing really well
15:15So
15:26I've got a map
15:28I've made a plan
15:30I'm leaving in the morning
15:31I can't stay here
15:33There just isn't the food
15:34To keep me going here
15:36And if I stay here too long
15:38I'll run out of my supplies
15:39And
15:40I'm going to get too weak
15:42To be able to get out of here
15:43But
15:44I still need to try and prove
15:47That I can survive out in the wild
15:48I can feed myself out in a real wilderness
15:50And I really want to try and do that
15:53So
15:54I've got six weeks left
15:55And I need to find the salmon
15:57I guess I've realised today
16:05That I'm a bit afraid of this next bit of the journey
16:07I just don't know
16:09From the map
16:10What
16:10What lies ahead
16:12I don't know how hard it's going to be
16:13I think it's between
16:1710 and 15 miles
16:20Which doesn't sound that far
16:24But
16:24With this kind of terrain
16:26That could take me four or five days
16:28And it could be dangerous
16:31And I'm pretty sure
16:33That I'm going to
16:34Encounter some bears on this trip
16:35And I'm
16:36Not really looking forward to that
16:38I haven't really felt fear
16:44A lot in my life
16:45But
16:45I'd much rather
16:47Be able to
16:48Talk to
16:51Talk to the people that I love
16:56Before I take on something
16:58That's dangerous
16:59I think I realised today
17:28That I'm afraid to go down the river
17:30All things become about
17:34Fears and
17:35Dangers and worries
17:37There's a much bigger amount of unknown
17:48While I'm travelling
17:49Than there is while I'm staying in one place
17:52I'm writing on my arm
18:13That I have to try and
18:16Stay strong
18:17So I'm being strong
18:19So I'm being strong
18:19Be strong
18:21Be strong
18:24I've got to be strong
18:26I've got to be strong
18:28Meditation doesn't work
18:35I tried
18:37I almost tried praying
18:38I put my hands together one night
18:40And I was about to pray
18:44And suddenly
18:45My girlfriend's voice popped into my head
18:50Just like she was on the end of a phone line
18:52So I had a long conversation with her
18:56Really good one
18:57Really brilliant
18:58Just like she was there on the end of the phone
19:01Just an imaginary phone call
19:03It was great
19:05It really made me feel like
19:07A proper phone call with her
19:09Would make me feel
19:11So I do that sometimes now
19:15Really proper long half hour
19:19Talks
19:20Tell her all my worries
19:22And listen to what she's up to
19:23I guess that's a kind of meditation
19:29Yep
19:31Well
19:51This could be porcupine number two
19:54I didn't particularly enjoy
19:56Anything about the last porcupine
19:59I didn't enjoy killing it
20:00I didn't enjoy eating it very much either
20:02But
20:04This is where I am
20:07And that's my food
20:09He's dead
20:28So
20:43Here's my porcupine
20:47It's pretty heavy
20:49Hey bears
20:56So I'm walking
21:03As far away as I can get from my camp
21:08I've crossed the river
21:11I've got to gut him and skin him
21:13And I don't want those remains anywhere near me
21:16To attract bears
21:18Or anything else that might fancy
21:21The smell of rotting meat
21:23A couple
21:30Okay
21:33I've got to do this
21:38I'm almost there
21:42Okay
21:47There's my piece of meat
21:50When I've got food
22:13This place is just
22:14Mind-blowing
22:16It's wonderful
22:18When I haven't got food
22:21It's ugly
22:21And it's hard
22:23And it's hard to deal with
22:25I think I'm going to fry the livers first
22:40Because they're the tastiest bit
22:42But before I do anything else
22:45I'm going to cut out his
22:46Back end bit
22:48Because I think that's what smells
22:50I know you really wanted to know that
22:52I'm going to cut out the anus
22:54Of a porcupine
22:55Stick that on your channel 4
22:57Well
23:11I got all that done just in time
23:15I got my porcupine
23:17Got him skinned
23:19Got him gutted
23:19And I've stuck him up in a tree for the night
23:22And then suddenly this big storm's come in
23:25It was looking beautiful earlier
23:28And then suddenly it just started belting down with rain
23:55I guess I am still pretty nervous about bears
24:13To be honest I'm terrified of bears
24:17And sleeping out here
24:19In the middle of the forest
24:22When I smell like a dead porcupine
24:25It's
24:25Not very easy
24:29I mean
24:31If I wanted to catch a bear
24:33If I wanted to attract a bear
24:34I'd get a piece of porcupine
24:36And I'd hang it up in a tree
24:38And I'd
24:39You know
24:40Sit around and wait for a bear to turn up
24:42But that's pretty much exactly what I've done to myself
24:45I smell like a porcupine
24:47And I'm now hanging up in a tree in a forest
24:49I don't think I'm going to sleep much tonight
25:00If I've learned anything at all out here
25:25The biggest thing is
25:29How precious my friends and my family are
25:32I think about them every day
25:42I miss them every day
25:46I didn't bring much with me
25:53But I brought a letter
25:55And some photographs
25:58I've been too afraid to look at these
26:05For six weeks
26:07I don't even know what they are
26:10Amanda, my girlfriend
26:13Printed them out
26:14And wrap them up for me
26:17It smells of my girlfriend's perfume
26:23Had to make somebody cry, huh?
26:34This is her birthday
26:44If I
26:50If I'd realised anything out here
26:53It's just how much I'm in love
26:59With my girlfriend
27:01And how much I want to be with her
27:05That was my dad and my sister
27:15This is my brother
27:23He had a baby son this year
27:28This is a surprise
27:36I wasn't expecting this one
27:42But it's my mother
27:54That's my mother
27:54I miss them all a lot
28:04I miss people
28:05I don't know if I can do this anymore
28:16I don't know what it is
28:23I can't get my head
28:23I can't get my head straight
28:26I don't know if I'm going nuts or
28:37I think I'm gonna call
28:46I gotta talk to somebody
28:51I gotta know
28:54What happens if I can't do this anymore
28:57I gotta know if I can come home
29:02I can't
29:09Okay, I'm not fooling anybody
29:29I'm gonna try a little bit more
29:35I don't know if I can
29:36I honestly don't know if I'm gonna get through today
29:38What the fuck?
30:08My rations are running out
30:18Soon they'll be gone
30:21I came to this lake
30:25Because it was a bigger lake
30:26And it had a river running out of it
30:29That might have salmon in it
30:30But I think I might have made a mistake
30:33It took a lot of energy to get here
30:37And I think I was better off in the last place
30:42I had more food there
30:43Things are getting desperate
30:52Already my body's slowed down
31:06I can't keep warming up at night
31:08My heart rate's dropped to around 30 beats per minute
31:12And when I stand up I get so dizzy
31:16I think I'm gonna fall over
31:17And that's just through the lack of food
31:19And that's just through the lack of food
31:24The production have delivered a whole lot of food
31:44They delivered a whole lot of food
31:51They delivered a whole lot of food
31:55They delivered a whole lot of food
31:59They delivered a whole lot of food
32:21Oh
32:30God
32:51I don't quite know what to think about this
33:16It feels like a bit of a failure in part
33:19I guess I haven't managed to survive in the wilderness
33:36I guess it feels like kindness
33:43This food feels like kindness
33:50It Sounds
33:50It's dark
33:52It sounds like
33:53What's the eternity in front of me?
33:56Will any of you or the Battery
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35:31What I'm gonna eat
35:33What do you think I should do?
35:41I've already proved to myself that I can't survive out here
35:59I've proved to myself that I can't survive out here
36:03I can't catch enough small game
36:07Leaves and berries are dying out now
36:12I've proved to myself that I can't do it so
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36:23It's very hard to do
36:25I'm afraid I need some help
36:31I don't know why I'm slightly ashamed to say that I don't like this
36:49I'm not enjoying it
37:01This thing that's a dream
37:07I don't like it
37:27I don't think I can do it
37:31I don't think I can do it
37:47I don't think I can do it
38:13I came out here because I wanted to find out
38:15What it would take to survive alone in the wild
38:19It was a boyhood dream
38:21To try and do this
38:23And it's been a humbling experience
38:25I've lasted for 50 days
38:37But I haven't managed to find enough food
38:39To feed myself
38:41The first few weeks were okay
38:45And I lived off my body's reserves
38:49But now I've lost so much weight
38:51And so much energy
38:53That I can't look after myself anymore
38:55I can't do the simple tasks I need to do
38:59Or hunt and fish enough
39:01Or hunt and fish enough
39:03I've been constantly afraid
39:07Of being attacked by bears
39:09And more than anything
39:15I miss human company
39:17We are social animals
39:21And I'm not sure it's possible
39:23To survive alone in the wild
39:25All done
39:27All done
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42:01The wild is just here
42:03It's the wild
42:05It's hard to go and try and live your dreams and find that
42:13And find that it's so difficult
42:17It's hard to go and try and live your dreams and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love you and love
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45:11The guy that came to pick me up in the airplane asked him if he had any chocolate and he didn't have any chocolate but he brought a big lump of cheese.
45:29I've been eating cheese all afternoon.
45:31It's pretty odd being in a crappy hotel room after 50 days living in such beautiful surroundings to then come back here.
45:52There's nothing in here that I want at all. I don't need these chairs.
45:56Or this bed. I could go and put my hammock up in a tree. I'd be far more comfortable than I'd be in this hotel room.
46:06I've got a dishwasher, a microwave, a coffee machine, a kettle, an ice bucket and a fridge and a fire extinguisher.
46:26And a block of cheese.
46:28And a block of cheese.
46:30I might have cried a lot on this thing, but I really don't know why I've been crying so much. It's something to do with being alone.
46:44I might have cried a lot on this thing, but I really don't know why I've been crying so much. It's something to do with being alone.
46:56I managed to do something extraordinary. I lived alone in the wild for 50 days. And really I am happy that I did that.
47:12I look back even on the hard times now. And I will never forget this. It's been a really amazing journey.
47:26And I get to go home now.
47:32And Ed Wardle will be on the TV show a week on Saturday. You can contact the programme at channel4.com slash the TV show.
47:50Next tonight, a police shootout and a family gangland feud. Jack's heading to the seedy underworld in a without a trace double bill.
47:58And I'll see you in the next one.
48:00He's in the next one.
48:02Thanks again.
48:04For more information, visit the podcast at channel4.com slash the TV show.
48:08And if you are going to visit, visit our website at www.edepalm.com slash the TV show.
48:12And in the next one, welcome to my pacific.
48:14Thanks again for your time, I'll see you next week.
48:16OK, thanks again for writing the location.
48:18Just a pause here.
48:20Just a pause here.
48:22If you're going to play with me and I'll see you next week.
48:24I'll see you next week.