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00:00:30Cassie.
00:00:33Cassie.
00:00:36Cassie!
00:00:37Yeah?
00:00:39Did you sleep in my bed again last night?
00:00:42No, I just came in here this morning to cuddle with you.
00:00:46Like, I get that you're obsessed with me, but you have, like, a really nice big bed, and it's only, like, ten feet away.
00:00:53It's really not that hard to walk to.
00:00:56Well, your bed is so much more comfy.
00:00:58I don't know, it's weird sleeping without Matthew.
00:01:03Just not used to it yet.
00:01:04So, you're using me?
00:01:07Duh.
00:01:07So, who's going to make breakfast today?
00:01:20I made it last weekend, so probably you.
00:01:24Uh, no, I made it last weekend.
00:01:27No, that was two weekends ago, remember?
00:01:29No, that was last Saturday.
00:01:31Libre pancakes?
00:01:33Fine.
00:01:33Rock, paper, scissors over it?
00:01:35Fine.
00:01:35Ready?
00:01:40Mm-hmm.
00:01:46Really?
00:01:47Okay.
00:01:48No?
00:01:49Okay.
00:01:50Okay, fine.
00:01:51Whatever, I'll make him.
00:01:52Yeah.
00:01:53Under one condition.
00:01:56No.
00:01:56Yes.
00:01:58You have to promise never to leave me, okay?
00:02:01Matthew is gone, and you are all that I have now in my sad and lonely life.
00:02:05That is a lot to ask for in return for pancakes.
00:02:08They're blueberry pancakes.
00:02:11Fine.
00:02:12But just for the pancakes.
00:02:13Hey, I'm already one to love you.
00:02:31Who gets you?
00:02:34Hey, I can already tell that you do get me too.
00:02:40And maybe, we're the only ones.
00:02:47Maybe, we're the only ones.
00:02:54Hey, I know I can make you so happy gladly.
00:02:59Hey, I know you can see through my bad moods.
00:03:05Side two and maybe, we're the only ones.
00:03:12Maybe, we're the only ones.
00:03:16I think, we're the only ones.
00:03:23Bacon milk cheeseburger.
00:03:26Philly cheese steak.
00:03:28Oh, a pulled cork sandwich.
00:03:29You'd think they'd have more vegetarian options.
00:03:32Right?
00:03:32I mean, God forbid a vegan tries to eat here.
00:03:35You know, the people that don't eat any animal byproducts.
00:03:37Oh, we know what vegans are, honey.
00:03:39We have the Google at home.
00:03:40Oh, babe, don't call it the Google.
00:03:42You're making us look uncool.
00:03:44No, I think it's kind of hipster of me to call it the Google.
00:03:46You know, even if it's wrong, if mom wants to call it the Google, then we should support her.
00:03:50Thank you.
00:03:54Do you know what group of people tend to have a lot of vegans, actually?
00:03:58Is lesbians.
00:04:00Oh, really?
00:04:04We're going to need a couple more minutes.
00:04:06Thank you.
00:04:06Thank you.
00:04:14It's a shame Matthew couldn't make it out this evening.
00:04:16Uh, well, he was busy.
00:04:18Working nights a day's way through med school during the day.
00:04:22That's one ambitious man you have.
00:04:24You must be so proud.
00:04:26You're dating a doctor.
00:04:27Hmm.
00:04:28He's going to cure cancer one day.
00:04:30Well, he's at the chiropractic college,
00:04:33so he's going to be a chiropractor.
00:04:36But if you guys think that's one step closer to curing cancer,
00:04:39then sure, yeah, he's going to save millions of lives.
00:04:42This place is really dope.
00:04:44Good use of the word dope, honey.
00:04:46Hmm.
00:04:47A lot of the kids from campus hang out here.
00:04:48Like, the other day, we couldn't even get in
00:04:50because the whole softball team was having a party here.
00:04:54Did you know that most of the girls on the softball team are...
00:04:56Let me guess.
00:04:58Lesbians?
00:04:59Is it lesbians?
00:05:00Yes.
00:05:00I, um, got that internship with the creative agency.
00:05:11Hmm.
00:05:12That's wonderful.
00:05:13How much does that pay?
00:05:14Well, it's an internship.
00:05:17So...
00:05:18I don't know, roughly, like, six figures.
00:05:20So nothing.
00:05:22Uh, I think that a $10 per diem is a lot more than nothing.
00:05:25How are you going to survive on $10 a day?
00:05:28I don't know.
00:05:28Dumpster diving?
00:05:29Be serious.
00:05:31We worry about you.
00:05:32It's a good thing that you have math, Hugh.
00:05:35Especially if I get cancer.
00:05:43You know what?
00:05:44I was going to wait until we ordered dessert,
00:05:46but I think I'm just going to...
00:05:47Oh, I hope they have something with bacon bits on it.
00:05:49Here, that's, like, really trendy right now.
00:05:51Bacon is my favorite food group.
00:05:52I wouldn't mind, like, a hot fudge sundae, though.
00:05:54Oh, I'd share that with you.
00:05:56You know, with some drizzle and some nuts on it.
00:05:57Salty, something sweet.
00:05:58You'll get two spoons, okay?
00:06:00I'm going to get some chocolate sauce, and you'll love it.
00:06:01Excuse me!
00:06:02I'm trying to tell you guys something extremely difficult and heart-wrenching,
00:06:05and I mean, it might kill me, so a little respect, please.
00:06:09John, put your fork down.
00:06:10Mackenzie's having a nervous breakdown.
00:06:12Or indigestion, I can't tell.
00:06:13It can't be indigestion.
00:06:14I mean, she's hardly touched her food.
00:06:16John, please focus on our daughter.
00:06:17She's dying.
00:06:18Thank you.
00:06:19Mom.
00:06:24Mom.
00:06:27Dad.
00:06:37I'm gay.
00:06:38No.
00:06:41No.
00:06:43Oh, God, why?
00:06:45No, Mackenzie.
00:06:47How could you do that to us?
00:06:48What did we ever do to deserve this?
00:06:50Oh, my God, no.
00:06:52Mackenzie.
00:06:54No.
00:06:55So, how's the planning going for your Europe trip?
00:06:57Um, it's been postponed.
00:07:00It's the final summer.
00:07:01You're free.
00:07:02And soon Matthew will be working all the time.
00:07:04You don't want him to take time off work
00:07:06to go gallivanting across Europe.
00:07:08Matthew is probably just busy, honey,
00:07:10with school and work.
00:07:12He's going to be a doctor.
00:07:13I know that, dear.
00:07:13I just thought it'd be nice for him
00:07:14to take a break from all of his hard work.
00:07:16Right, but...
00:07:17You know, I just...
00:07:18Okay, I'm just going to stop you right there.
00:07:21Matthew and I...
00:07:23broke up.
00:07:29What does that mean?
00:07:30It means we are no longer dating.
00:07:43Oh, my God.
00:07:46Honey, we know.
00:08:02What do you mean, you know?
00:08:04How?
00:08:05We read your diary every night
00:08:06when you went to bed.
00:08:09We're your parents.
00:08:10We just know these things.
00:08:11And I found a copy of the L word
00:08:13under your bed, like, five years ago.
00:08:15Alice is hilarious.
00:08:17My bed is terrifying.
00:08:18I hate you both.
00:08:20What did you do?
00:08:23I didn't do anything.
00:08:24Oh, you must have done something
00:08:26for him to break up with you.
00:08:28Actually, I left him,
00:08:30but thanks for assuming he dumped me.
00:08:33Why did you break up with him?
00:08:35He was perfect for you.
00:08:37He was perfect for you.
00:08:43He proposed.
00:08:44Are you a lesbian?
00:08:53No, I'm not a lesbian.
00:08:56But you know what?
00:08:56Sometimes I wish I was.
00:08:58Don't say that.
00:09:00That's horrible.
00:09:02So, is it Cassie?
00:09:04Is it Cassie what?
00:09:06Is Cassie your lover?
00:09:07Ugh, ew.
00:09:09Please don't ever say lover again.
00:09:11Lover.
00:09:12Ugh.
00:09:13Ugh.
00:09:14And, no, Cassie isn't gay.
00:09:17Are you sure?
00:09:18Yes.
00:09:20Besides, I haven't told her yet.
00:09:22Told her what?
00:09:24That I'm gay.
00:09:26Don't worry about it, honey.
00:09:28I'm sure she knows.
00:09:29Honey, you are a, what do they call it, Tom?
00:09:31A hundred footer.
00:09:32You are a hundred footer.
00:09:33And you guys are just completely okay with this.
00:09:37To be honest, I was worried you were going to tell us you were a vegan.
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:40I mean, I'm relieved that you're gay.
00:09:42I mean, men are assholes.
00:09:44If I could be gay, I would be.
00:09:45That's disgusting.
00:09:46Babe!
00:10:12And how did it go?
00:10:13It was horrible.
00:10:14It was worse than expected.
00:10:15I don't even want to talk about it.
00:10:17Oh, doll, that's really shitty.
00:10:18I'm so sorry.
00:10:19Like, they didn't even care.
00:10:21At all.
00:10:22They showed no emotion whatsoever.
00:10:24No, that's a lie.
00:10:25They were, like, happy about it.
00:10:27Isn't that sick?
00:10:28Yeah, that sounds really devastating.
00:10:30I mean, it took me months to finally...
00:10:33Yes, babe.
00:10:34...to summon the courage to come out to them.
00:10:35And then they just treat it like it's no big deal.
00:10:38Well, I'm sorry, but it is a big deal.
00:10:41Like, they weren't even upset at all.
00:10:44Isn't that fucked?
00:10:47Oh, my God.
00:10:48Why are they not upset?
00:10:49Do they not love me?
00:10:51They definitely don't care about you.
00:10:52I mean, my parents told me I was an abomination
00:10:54and that I was going to burn in hell for all eternity.
00:10:57Way to rub it in my face.
00:10:59Oh, and they didn't even tell me that they were proud of me.
00:11:02Isn't that, like, the number one thing you're supposed to tell your gay kid
00:11:06when you come out to them?
00:11:07Like, how proud you are of them?
00:11:08I'm pretty sure it's in the gay parent handbook.
00:11:11You must have lost the handbook.
00:11:12I can only come out to them once in my whole life
00:11:16and they freaking ruined it for me
00:11:17with their kindness and blatant disregard for my feelings.
00:11:26Are you even listening to me?
00:11:28Oh, no.
00:11:30Cassie's home.
00:11:30I gotta go, bitch.
00:11:31Okay, babe.
00:11:32Sorry, your parents are amazing.
00:11:35Shit.
00:11:36Stop whatever you're doing right now.
00:11:38We are going to Pizza Hut Buffet.
00:11:40I am going to commit carbicide.
00:11:43And before you say anything,
00:11:44I know that Pizza Hut Buffet is not a thing anymore.
00:11:47Rest in peace, Pizza Hut Buffet.
00:11:49But that doesn't mean we can't just order, like,
00:11:50a bazillion pizzas and pretend it's still a thing, right?
00:11:54This is not what it looks like.
00:11:56I know what you must be thinking.
00:11:57Mackenzie, are you watching lesbian porn?
00:12:01Because I told you that Bridget Jones's Diaphragm
00:12:04is not the same movie.
00:12:06No.
00:12:07Well, yes, but it's for a class.
00:12:10Really?
00:12:11What class?
00:12:11I want in.
00:12:12Yeah, it's like this women's studies class.
00:12:14I have to do this assignment on post-colonial gentrification
00:12:18set in an urban landscape
00:12:21posing in lesbian film.
00:12:23Did you just take everything you remembered
00:12:25from your art theory class and mush it all together?
00:12:27That is exactly what I just did.
00:12:30Well, it looks like you beat me to the carbicide.
00:12:33What happened?
00:12:35Dinner with my parents was kind of a disaster.
00:12:37Really? What happened?
00:12:39Uh, I just...
00:12:42I told them something and they did not take it
00:12:45the way that I thought that they would.
00:12:46Your parents are, like, the most supportive people I know.
00:12:48I know! It's the worst!
00:12:50What didn't I take the right way?
00:12:51Yeah.
00:12:52Yeah.
00:12:52Yeah.
00:12:52Did you do it?
00:12:53Yeah.
00:12:53Yeah.
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:55Yeah.
00:12:55Yeah.
00:12:56Yeah.
00:12:56Yeah.
00:12:56It's nothing.
00:12:57How was dinner with your parents?
00:12:59Well, I told them I broke up with Matthew.
00:13:00Oh, shit.
00:13:01How'd that go?
00:13:03Um, well, I think after the hysterical crying and screaming stopped,
00:13:08it actually went pretty well.
00:13:10I got the chocolate explosion cake for dessert.
00:13:12Fuck off.
00:13:13That's a good one.
00:13:14Did you bring me some?
00:13:15Mm-mm.
00:13:16Mm-mm.
00:13:16Mm-mm.
00:13:17Yeah.
00:13:18Yeah.
00:13:18Yeah.
00:13:19Yeah.
00:13:19Yeah.
00:13:20Yeah.
00:13:20So, are we gonna go, or I guess we can just keep watching lesbian porn?
00:13:25It's not lesbian porn.
00:13:27It's lesbian film.
00:13:28It's art.
00:13:29It's very different.
00:13:30I mean, lesbian porn is gross.
00:13:33Yeah, I know.
00:13:34I don't even think that the lesbians who do lesbian porn are real lesbians.
00:13:38Well, like I said, there's one where they were using a strap on, and then they, like,
00:13:43put a condom on it, and I was like, why?
00:13:45Why would you do that?
00:13:47Extra protection, obviously.
00:13:49Well, I will stick to my normal porn.
00:13:52One-legged paraplegics and Asian tentacles.
00:13:54Thank you very much.
00:14:00I'm watching all the sex scenes and lesbian movies.
00:14:02Mom, are you gonna call me a pervert?
00:14:05Damn it, Mom!
00:14:06Call me a pervert!
00:14:08That's all.
00:14:20Isn't it weird how different your life turned out the way you had planned?
00:14:24Trust me, I know.
00:14:27What did you want to be again when you grew up?
00:14:29A ninja turtle?
00:14:30No, I wanted to be the red Power Ranger.
00:14:33How could you forget?
00:14:34Oh, yeah.
00:14:35Right, how could I?
00:14:36You were the only girl who didn't want to be the pink Power Ranger
00:14:39Well, the red one was obviously the coolest and the leader, so
00:14:44And the hottest
00:14:46Right
00:14:47It's like I thought I knew what I was doing with my life, you know
00:14:53Like, I had a plan and I wrote it out on paper
00:14:56I didn't even put it on my phone, like I killed a tree for it
00:15:00I know, it hangs on our fridge, mocking me for not having a plan
00:15:06And Matthew had to go and propose and screw everything up
00:15:10Now look at me
00:15:14You're a walking disaster, you are lucky I'm still friends with you
00:15:18I think I'm having an anxiety attack
00:15:25I don't really know because I've never really had one before
00:15:27But I think that's what's happening right now
00:15:29Are you having trouble breathing?
00:15:31No
00:15:31Do you feel super nervous?
00:15:35No
00:15:35I don't think you know what an anxiety attack is
00:15:40Maybe there are different forms of anxiety attacks
00:15:42Yeah, I don't think so
00:15:43I don't know, it's just like
00:15:46My whole life I thought that I wanted a traditional life, you know
00:15:50Like, get married and have kids
00:15:52And, I don't know, have a dog that wears like a tiny hat
00:15:55Yeah
00:15:56I mean, you can still have a traditional life, you know that
00:16:00I don't know
00:16:01Maybe I don't want a traditional life
00:16:03You know, like, maybe I want to be promiscuous and get HPV
00:16:07I don't know, the sky's the limit
00:16:09I think HPV's like, really common now
00:16:12You can get crazier than that
00:16:13You should go for that clap
00:16:14Hey Cassie
00:16:20I gotta tell you something
00:16:22And please don't freak out
00:16:24But
00:16:26Oh my god
00:16:34Oh, you know
00:16:38Oh shit, you know
00:16:42I've made a huge mistake
00:16:45My parents were right
00:16:48Okay, clearly you're having a mental breakdown
00:16:52Because your parents are never right
00:16:55You weren't ready to get married
00:16:56Which is good, because you're 22
00:16:58Who the fuck gets married at 22, Cass?
00:17:01Rednecks, that's who
00:17:03Maybe I want to be a redneck
00:17:05Okay, then go be a redneck
00:17:07I don't want to be a redneck
00:17:10I think I know what's going to make you feel better
00:17:21Do you remember when I dated Andrew?
00:17:25Oh yeah
00:17:26Yeah
00:17:26And he had like, the tiniest dick ever
00:17:29Yeah, you said it was an innie
00:17:32It was, it was a fucking innie
00:17:34I mean, I've not seen a lot of dicks in my lifetime
00:17:37But that one was tiny
00:17:39It was so small that when it got scared
00:17:42It would just like, disappear
00:17:44It would like, retreat until there was no penis left
00:17:47I've never even heard of a dick that small
00:17:51I mean, I guess technically
00:17:55I never even lost my virginity
00:17:57So, I'm still a virgin
00:18:00Who's more pathetic now?
00:18:06You're a 22 year old virgin
00:18:08Priests have had more sex than I have
00:18:12Maybe my life isn't so bad
00:18:17Yeah
00:18:18Hey, why did you tell me not to freak out?
00:18:30Just like, don't freak out because your life's not that bad
00:18:34Oh, right
00:18:38Thanks, bud
00:18:41Okay, which one should I wear?
00:18:52Is this a joke?
00:18:53They look identical
00:18:54This one's a tri-blend
00:18:55And this one's a poly-cotton
00:18:57God, you're such a lesbian sometimes
00:18:59Fine, the one on the right
00:19:01I don't know
00:19:02This one like reeks of desperation
00:19:04I'm going with the poly-cotton
00:19:06I don't even know why you bother asking me
00:19:08I've literally worn this shirt for like a week now
00:19:10I just keep on like dousing it in perfume
00:19:13To hide my B.O.
00:19:14Oh my god, you're disgusting
00:19:15I'm single
00:19:17I don't know what you would do
00:19:18If you didn't have me
00:19:19Oh, there we go
00:19:23Tumblr?
00:19:27Tumblr
00:19:27It's the new Facebook for lesbians
00:19:30No, it's the new eHarmony for lesbians
00:19:33I have a Pinterest account
00:19:34Can I just use that?
00:19:35Now, are you a 50-year-old mom
00:19:37Or planning your wedding?
00:19:39No
00:19:39Delete that account immediately
00:19:41I'm like embarrassed for you
00:19:43Okay, so let's create your profile
00:19:46You're totes adored
00:19:48So trust me
00:19:48The ladies are going to be all over you
00:19:51Okay
00:19:51I have to pick a theme
00:19:54About sports
00:19:56Oh my god, perfect
00:19:57Lesbians love sports
00:19:59How do you know all this stuff?
00:20:01Tumblr
00:20:01Duh
00:20:02Hey
00:20:05I'm Mackenzie
00:20:07Recently out
00:20:09Just turned 22
00:20:11I like comics
00:20:14Puppies
00:20:15And astronomy
00:20:18I love you
00:20:20Yeah, that's all I got
00:20:22Whatever
00:20:23Nobody reads that stuff anyways
00:20:24They're more interested in your selfies
00:20:26Give me your phone
00:20:27Oh
00:20:27Okay
00:20:30Do you like a sexy pouty face
00:20:33But look like you aren't trying?
00:20:36Can you like crinkle your nose a little bit?
00:20:38More lips
00:20:39Like you're not taking a shit though
00:20:41Now smile through your eyes
00:20:43Oh god, Lesbizing
00:20:44Ew
00:20:45They just keep getting worse
00:20:47Okay
00:20:48Maybe I can find a decent picture you already took
00:20:50And then make it look better on Instagram
00:20:52Okay
00:20:52Okay
00:20:53Oh, this one
00:20:58This is perfect
00:21:00Okay, I'm just gonna crop Cassie out
00:21:04Voila
00:21:06It's live
00:21:07I give it a week
00:21:09And you'll have a Tumblr girlfriend
00:21:10In no time
00:21:11So, how's Cassie?
00:21:15I haven't seen that bitch in weeks
00:21:17She's good
00:21:17She's been really busy
00:21:18With her internship
00:21:19And school stuff
00:21:20And how'd she take it
00:21:21When you told her?
00:21:23Told her what?
00:21:25That you decided to join the LPGA
00:21:27I have not told her yet
00:21:31I'm sorry, what?
00:21:33I mean
00:21:35She's gotta know
00:21:36She has to know
00:21:38I mean, look at you
00:21:40I'm pretty good at hiding my lesbianism, Levi
00:21:43I have been doing it for 22 years
00:21:45Oh, honey, no
00:21:46No, you haven't
00:21:47Well, whatever
00:21:48Cassie doesn't know
00:21:49Well, what are you waiting for?
00:21:51She's your best friend
00:21:52She isn't gonna care
00:21:53I know that she's not gonna care
00:21:55It's just
00:21:55I don't know
00:21:58I'm worried about making things change between us
00:22:02Like, what if she does get weirded out?
00:22:06I'm worried about screwing things up
00:22:07You're being way too dramatic
00:22:09Trust me
00:22:10She isn't gonna care
00:22:11I mean, it's worse that you're lying to her
00:22:13I'm not lying to her
00:22:16I just
00:22:16Haven't told her the truth
00:22:18Tell her
00:22:20You don't want her finding out from somebody else
00:22:22And besides
00:22:24I'm sure she knows
00:22:26You're a hundred-footer
00:22:27Why does everyone keep saying that?
00:22:35Why do lesbians like this stuff?
00:22:39I have no clothes
00:22:40I have nothing
00:22:41Looks to me like you're wearing clothes
00:22:43I need to go shopping
00:22:43What are you doing today?
00:22:44Nothing
00:22:44And no, I will not go shopping with you
00:22:46Oh, yes, you are
00:22:47I can't go by myself
00:22:49Call Levi
00:22:49He misses you
00:22:50Plus, I'm sure he wants any excuse to skip class
00:22:53I did call Levi
00:22:54And he's busy
00:22:54So I'm your backup?
00:22:56You're always my backup
00:22:57Well, find someone else
00:22:59Because I am not going
00:23:00Yes, you're going
00:23:01No, I'm not
00:23:01I'll buy you a pretzel
00:23:03Love it
00:23:06Yellow is so your color
00:23:07Buy it
00:23:08Let's go
00:23:09I don't know if I like the pattern
00:23:11Oh, like that's the style I want
00:23:15Yeah, her pant top combination was just great
00:23:19And then with the shoes
00:23:20It just came together really nicely
00:23:21You're right
00:23:22I should have brought Levi
00:23:23Duh
00:23:25Oh, what about this one?
00:23:31I love them all
00:23:33I'm so bored
00:23:34My legs hurt
00:23:35I want to sit down
00:23:36I did not buy you a pretzel
00:23:38So you could complain the whole time
00:23:39This is the thousandth store we've been in
00:23:41I don't even know what you're looking for anymore
00:23:42Dresses, pants, shoes
00:23:44You've tried on everything
00:23:45I just got out of a serious relationship
00:23:47I need to get rid of things that remind me of Matthew
00:23:49So, everything?
00:23:51Yes
00:23:52I want a cinnamon bun, too
00:23:55Fine
00:23:56I don't know
00:24:03I'll just try on both of them
00:24:04Is it too summery?
00:24:13I don't know
00:24:14It's hot out
00:24:15So I don't think you're going to be cold in that
00:24:16Yeah, but it's spring
00:24:17So?
00:24:19So is it too summery for summer?
00:24:21I'm so lost right now
00:24:23I don't know
00:24:25I think it's too summery
00:24:26I'm going to try on the other one
00:24:27Okay
00:24:29No problem
00:24:30I'll just stand here
00:24:31Dying of hunger
00:24:32Mac
00:24:39Hi
00:24:41How are you?
00:24:42Matthew
00:24:42My clothes
00:24:43Yeah, here we go
00:24:47So, uh, are you with Cassie here?
00:24:57Uh, I don't know
00:25:01What?
00:25:04You don't know?
00:25:06What about this one, but with like a belt?
00:25:08Uh...
00:25:09Hi
00:25:14Hi
00:25:14Hi
00:25:18I don't know about this one
00:25:19Do I look fuckable?
00:25:21Like, who would fuck me in this?
00:25:23No one
00:25:24No one would fuck you in that dress
00:25:29That was like really weird
00:25:35Uh, how long are you going to be?
00:25:43Your little cousin seems like a wonderful person
00:25:46She's... she's not my...
00:25:49My... my cousin
00:25:50Uh, Mackenzie, could you come in here for a sec?
00:25:53I, uh...
00:25:55I think my dress is stuck
00:25:56Why did you let me try on this dress?
00:26:08I look like an idiot
00:26:09I told you to bring Levi
00:26:10I don't know anything about this shit
00:26:12I only came for the goddamn pretzel
00:26:14It was promised to me
00:26:15The fuck is that girl he's with?
00:26:17I'm going to take a wild guess
00:26:18And say it's his new girlfriend
00:26:19So nice of him doing like five minutes after he dumped him
00:26:23Don't worry, she's just a rebound girl
00:26:25She seems dumb as fuck and a total high maintenance bitch
00:26:28Oh, wait, he dated you, so you should worry
00:26:32Guess who just got their cinnamon bun taken away?
00:26:37You wouldn't
00:26:38Oh god, I can't believe he's so in this dress
00:26:42You're just going to change
00:26:43Okay, great
00:26:45Are they still out there?
00:26:49Yeah
00:26:50We are staying in here until we leave
00:26:52Oh yeah, because that's not going to look weird or anything
00:26:54Can I use your phone to swipe left to get rid of the uglies?
00:27:10Oh god
00:27:13You want him to speak with me?
00:27:34I heard you broke up with your boyfriend
00:27:42I know that's probably why your grades have been slipping
00:27:45That is so unbelievably creepy that you know that
00:27:48I know you're smarter than that, so I wouldn't worry about it too much
00:27:51Okay, thanks
00:27:54Just a reminder though
00:27:55You won't be graduating in spring if you fail one more assignment
00:27:59Because then you're going to fail this class
00:28:01Are you shitting me, Dr. Reese?
00:28:03So when you told me not to worry, you actually meant that I should worry
00:28:06Maybe Matthew can tutor you
00:28:08We broke up
00:28:10Oh, that's right
00:28:12That's where this conversation began
00:28:13Okay
00:28:14Thank you for this time
00:28:17Look, my door's always open
00:28:19During my designated office hours
00:28:21That's 7 to 8 a.m.
00:28:23Every first Saturday of the month
00:28:25Hey
00:28:37Hi
00:28:39Okay, so you need to help me out
00:28:42My teammates over there, don't look
00:28:43They bet me 20 bucks that I couldn't get your number
00:28:46Don't look
00:28:47And like, not only do I really want the 20 bucks
00:28:50But they're always making fun of me
00:28:52Because I always blow it with girls
00:28:55And they think I need a girlfriend
00:28:56Or just like more experience
00:28:58And now I'm completely oversharing
00:29:00So if you could like laugh really loud
00:29:03And pretend I've said something super funny
00:29:05And maybe look like you're thinking about being into me
00:29:08They bet that you couldn't get my number?
00:29:10Yeah
00:29:10Well, it's straight girls
00:29:11You think I'm straight?
00:29:13So can you give me your number?
00:29:15Or a number?
00:29:16I promise I'm not going to text you or anything
00:29:17Yeah
00:29:18Well, I actually have this number
00:29:21That's like this fake phone number
00:29:23That you give to people
00:29:23And they hit on you
00:29:24And you don't actually want to give them your number
00:29:26And then they call it
00:29:27And it's like this voicemail
00:29:28That's like
00:29:28The person that you were calling
00:29:30Gave you a fake phone number
00:29:32I hope you feel like a giant loser loser
00:29:35No way, that's not a thing
00:29:37I swear to God
00:29:37I use it all the time
00:29:38I say all the time
00:29:41Like I get hit on all the time
00:29:43In reality, I've used it like
00:29:45Seven times
00:29:45Six times
00:29:48I've used it three times
00:29:50Wow
00:29:51And I thought you were going to be all sweet and stuff
00:29:54With your cute little packed lunch
00:29:56And your adorable little backpack
00:29:58I mean you're eating peanut butter and jelly
00:30:01Girls that destroy egos
00:30:02Do not eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
00:30:04Oh no, no they do
00:30:06Yeah, they eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
00:30:08And they drink out of juice boxes
00:30:09To be fair though
00:30:12I usually only give that number to guys
00:30:13Because
00:30:14One, they're usually the only ones that hit on me
00:30:16And two
00:30:17I'm not into them
00:30:20Oh
00:30:21I thought
00:30:23So yeah
00:30:23I will give you
00:30:25My number
00:30:26But you know
00:30:29Only because
00:30:31I want you to win that bet
00:30:32Yeah
00:30:33Totally just to win the bet
00:30:35I'm going to throw this number away
00:30:37As soon as I get my 20 bucks
00:30:38I'm not going to stare at it
00:30:40Or put it in my phone
00:30:42Or like text you later
00:30:44That's definitely not going to happen
00:30:45Good
00:30:46Because I wouldn't want you to text me
00:30:48And I obviously would not text you back
00:30:50Duh
00:30:51And then when you don't text me back
00:30:53I don't have to ask you
00:30:54If you want to go get dinner
00:30:55Or see a movie together
00:30:57Good
00:30:57Because I definitely
00:30:59Definitely wouldn't say yes
00:31:01To any of that
00:31:03Just so we're
00:31:04On the same page
00:31:05We are on the same page
00:31:08Hiya
00:31:24Hi
00:31:24How's it going?
00:31:26Hey
00:31:26Everything's great
00:31:28Yeah I just saw the email
00:31:30That you sent to the client
00:31:31And I noticed you did not
00:31:33Signed at Kindest Regards
00:31:34So?
00:31:38So obviously I don't care
00:31:40It's just that
00:31:41Remember on the first day
00:31:42You started working here
00:31:43And I told you
00:31:43We always sign our emails
00:31:44With Kindest Regards
00:31:46Yeah
00:31:47I thought that was
00:31:48Just a suggestion
00:31:49Oh yeah it is
00:31:51It's just like
00:31:52One of those suggestions
00:31:52That you always want to do
00:31:54So I'm sure it's fine
00:31:56It's just
00:31:57I think our boss
00:31:58Is really upset with you
00:32:00Are you fucking with me?
00:32:04What?
00:32:06I don't even
00:32:07Oh my god
00:32:12It's so shitty
00:32:14What is it Amy?
00:32:18You didn't get the email?
00:32:20What email?
00:32:21Oh my god
00:32:23It's so awkward
00:32:24Um
00:32:25You just got fired
00:32:27I'm pretty sure you got CC'd
00:32:30I got fired?
00:32:34Yeah
00:32:35Total bummer
00:32:37I mean
00:32:37Cause like
00:32:38You're just an intern
00:32:39And who fires an intern?
00:32:41Cause you don't even get paid
00:32:44Right?
00:32:46This has gotta be some kind of joke
00:32:49Great
00:32:50Is this because of Kindest Regards?
00:32:55Oh my god
00:32:56No
00:32:56I mean
00:32:58Maybe
00:32:59Um
00:33:00But
00:33:01You should probably start packing up your things
00:33:03Um
00:33:04Oh
00:33:05But not till after lunch
00:33:07Cause uh
00:33:07You need to still go get that
00:33:09Okay
00:33:09Cassie
00:33:13What Amy?
00:33:15Isn't this your friend Mackenzie?
00:33:18I've been reading her blog
00:33:21She's hilarious
00:33:23I just love her positive outlook on life
00:33:27Is she single?
00:33:33Cassie
00:33:33You're probably wondering why I have developed a fondness for
00:33:39Baseball and lesbian film in the past couple of weeks
00:33:42Um
00:33:42It's because it's come to my attention
00:33:45Currently that
00:33:45Dude, what the fuck?
00:33:47Me what the fuck?
00:33:48You what the fuck?
00:33:49You almost broke my face
00:33:50How could you?
00:33:52I thought we were best friends
00:33:54What are you talking about?
00:33:55Oh
00:33:55I don't know Mackenzie
00:33:57Maybe you could have told me that you're gay?
00:34:00Yeah
00:34:01You told everyone in the fucking world except for me
00:34:04Fucking Levi
00:34:05I'm gonna murder him
00:34:06No
00:34:07It wasn't Levi you idiot
00:34:08You put it on your blog
00:34:10You can see my blog?
00:34:12First of all
00:34:13Everyone in the world
00:34:14Can see your blog
00:34:15Second of all
00:34:16I work in social media
00:34:18So it's my job to be on Tumblr
00:34:20Oh
00:34:20Yeah
00:34:21Oh
00:34:22Why didn't you tell me?
00:34:26Look I'm sorry
00:34:37I just
00:34:37I wasn't ready to tell you
00:34:40You have pooped in front of me Mackenzie
00:34:42I have seen you poop
00:34:44And you couldn't just tell me you were gay
00:34:46I know
00:34:46I mean okay
00:34:48That's not really the same thing
00:34:49Did you think I was gonna care?
00:34:53No
00:34:54Then I don't get why you didn't just tell me
00:34:56Okay
00:34:57I've never kept anything from you
00:34:59I know
00:35:00I just
00:35:00I wasn't ready
00:35:02But you were just ready to splash it all across the internet
00:35:05Okay
00:35:06Levi was the one that made me get a Tumblr
00:35:08So don't even start with that
00:35:09I don't even know how to use the thing
00:35:10Yeah
00:35:11I noticed
00:35:12Okay
00:35:12You're not even tagging your photos
00:35:14I don't know how you expect anyone to follow you
00:35:16Yeah
00:35:16See
00:35:17I have no idea what you're talking about
00:35:19That still doesn't explain why you didn't just tell me
00:35:22Do you know how much it hurt
00:35:25Finding out online rather than just from you?
00:35:27Look
00:35:28I'm sorry okay
00:35:29I am sorry that I didn't tell you
00:35:32And that you found out on the internet
00:35:33But this for once is not about you
00:35:35It's about me
00:35:37I decide when I want to come out
00:35:39I decide when I tell my parents
00:35:42Or Levi
00:35:43Or you
00:35:43Me
00:35:44Not you
00:35:45Have you told Levi or your parents?
00:35:51Yes
00:35:51What the fuck dude
00:35:56You're taking this way out of proportion
00:36:01I think this shows that I care about you the most
00:36:04I was the most worried to tell you
00:36:06Does that not mean anything to you?
00:36:07No
00:36:07It doesn't
00:36:09Because I should be the one you come to
00:36:10When something this important is happening in your life
00:36:12Not Levi
00:36:13Not your parents
00:36:15Me
00:36:15And to know that you can't even talk to me about something this important
00:36:20Then
00:36:20I don't even know what the point of being friends is anymore
00:36:24Oh this is fucked up
00:36:33You're making this fucked up
00:36:37Fine
00:36:40Be silent
00:36:42Whatever
00:36:43I'm over it
00:36:43You're fine
00:36:58What?
00:37:01What?
00:37:02What?
01:03:52Like, what is the point of this? Why do you still have this hanging in our fridge?
01:04:00Did you laminate your fucking life plan?
01:04:03At least I'm still thinking about what kind of future I want.
01:04:06What are you even doing with your life besides getting catfished on the internet?
01:04:11Oh, don't you bring Chantel into this.
01:04:13You are so self-involved.
01:04:16You didn't even notice that I had a job interview today for my dream job at a creative agency.
01:04:23Okay, so maybe it wasn't my dream job because my dream job involves Ryan Gosling feeding me grapes.
01:04:27But it was still a really good job.
01:04:30And you didn't even know because if it doesn't have anything to do with you, you don't even care.
01:04:35Really? Really, Cassie, you're calling me self-involved.
01:04:40How about this one?
01:04:42You didn't even know that I was gay.
01:04:44Everyone, literally everyone could tell you.
01:04:49But my furious lesbianism didn't even faze you because you're so wrapped up in your own head.
01:04:54You had a boyfriend.
01:04:57You were dating Andrew.
01:04:58So how was I supposed to know?
01:05:00Did you think that I actually liked dating Andrew?
01:05:04The only reason that I dated him was because his dick was so fucking small that it was pretty much just a vagina.
01:05:10And as my best friend, you should know this.
01:05:14Oh my god, you know what?
01:05:15It was a mistake 17 years ago when I saw that you had Beach Time Ken and I had Ball Gown Barbie and I thought that they could just get married and we could just play together.
01:05:25I had Beach Time Ken!
01:05:28And you still didn't know that I was gay!
01:05:31You know what? Maybe this friendship wasn't supposed to last this long.
01:05:38Fine.
01:05:42I don't know if you think I'm joking, but I'm being fucking serious.
01:05:49I am over this friendship!
01:05:51Okay.
01:05:58Then I hope that you enjoy your single, lonely life, Cassie, with all of your friends on Facebook and Twitter.
01:06:05Because Newsflash, they don't care about you like I do.
01:06:08I hope you're grabbing your shit so you can move out, because I don't want you here anymore.
01:06:18Of course that's what I'm doing. You think I'm spontaneously cleaning?
01:06:22I'm going, and it's not because you're kicking me out. It's because I'm choosing to go.
01:06:25Great, because I can't stand to be around you.
01:06:28Great!
01:06:30Okay, then.
01:06:31Okay, then!
01:06:31Then just go!
01:06:32That's exactly what I'm gonna do!
01:06:35Go!
01:06:35Fine!
01:06:36Go, then!
01:07:02In my hand, I hold one last rose.
01:07:14You know what? I should be on a reality show.
01:07:19Like, seriously?
01:07:20The shit that happens to me?
01:07:21It's ridiculous.
01:07:23People would love watching my life.
01:07:28Mmm.
01:07:29What are you saying tonight?
01:07:31What's your lover doing on Saturday?
01:07:37I don't have a lover anymore, remember?
01:07:40I have a Tumblr girlfriend that's probably a 40-year-old bald convenience store worker.
01:07:47What are you doing tonight?
01:07:49The usual.
01:07:50Can I come?
01:07:52It's a bunch of us gays, so...
01:07:54No.
01:07:54But I'm gay now!
01:07:56You're a lesbian, honey.
01:07:58What's the difference?
01:08:01Oh, my God.
01:08:10Oh, you're so cute sometimes.
01:08:13That's endearing.
01:08:14Don't worry.
01:08:16So how did, um...
01:08:18Cass end up keeping the apartment and the divorce?
01:08:22I gave it to her.
01:08:23Like, I gave her my heart.
01:08:25Returns after this!
01:08:26Oh, it's tragic.
01:08:31Mmm.
01:08:33Oh.
01:08:35I need to get ready.
01:08:36Um...
01:08:37Do you want the rest of my burrito?
01:08:40What a stupid fucking question.
01:08:42Of course I want your burrito.
01:08:44I know.
01:08:44I can always count on you.
01:08:46Oh!
01:08:46Is it time?
01:08:49Who will you give your final rose to?
01:08:54Christine.
01:08:55You are funny.
01:08:57Smart.
01:08:59Culture.
01:09:00Generous.
01:09:02And one of the most interesting people that I've ever met in my life.
01:09:06Yeah.
01:09:07But...
01:09:07I have to give my final rose to Brittany because she's way too hot.
01:09:15Hey.
01:09:17What are you up to?
01:09:20Do you want to come over?
01:09:30Hi.
01:09:32Hey.
01:09:32Hey.
01:09:32I only wanted us to be a simple melody.
01:09:39Two nuts in the minor sea of possibilities.
01:09:43In the end, the only voice I'd better know is my own.
01:09:47And I never want to sing you again on my own.
01:09:52Oh, no, don't tell me that.
01:09:56My voice wails without your harmonies.
01:09:59Cardo heartbeats make me wither.
01:10:04No, don't touch the mic.
01:10:06Oh, you love that for me.
01:10:08Isn't that sweet?
01:10:10Now it's time for me to let you go.
01:10:23Shit.
01:10:24I didn't actually think you were going to be here.
01:10:27Why?
01:10:28It's like Friday night at 11.
01:10:30I assumed you'd be out drinking or something.
01:10:32It's Saturday night.
01:10:34See?
01:10:34I don't even know my own life.
01:10:37Well, we have a tourney tomorrow, so.
01:10:40Right.
01:10:41For soccer.
01:10:42Yes.
01:10:47I sent you a bunch of texts.
01:10:49I never heard back from you.
01:10:52I got them.
01:10:53Can I just come in?
01:10:58I really want to talk to you.
01:11:00I don't think so.
01:11:01I have to get up early to leave for the tournament tomorrow.
01:11:04And honestly, I just don't really want to talk to you right now.
01:11:08Oh.
01:11:12Yeah, no.
01:11:14That's totally understandable.
01:11:19Can I just say again, though, that I'm really sorry?
01:11:21I'm stupid, okay?
01:11:24Like, really, really stupid.
01:11:26Like, should be tested stupid.
01:11:28I think that's pretty evident.
01:11:31I'm new to all this.
01:11:32I just didn't know about the whole Tumblr girlfriend thing.
01:11:36No.
01:11:40It's ignorance.
01:11:46Bye, Mac.
01:11:55Fuck.
01:11:56Where are you going?
01:12:07Well, the game show channel is calling my name, so.
01:12:14Cool.
01:12:16Down to watch the TV.
01:12:18Oh, um.
01:12:21This is awkward.
01:12:24This was just a booty call.
01:12:26Okay, so.
01:12:27Just wanted some booty.
01:12:29What?
01:12:31Uh.
01:12:34You know, I have a girlfriend.
01:12:37Yeah.
01:12:38And it's obvious you like her very much.
01:12:41So, I'm going to go watch the feud.
01:12:43But, uh.
01:12:44Thank you for fulfilling my needs.
01:12:51Well, that's tough.
01:12:52Laura, on to you.
01:12:54We've seen 100 women.
01:12:55I am only coming back because I need more underwear.
01:13:01What was that?
01:13:02That was what?
01:13:03Mac.
01:13:05You guys are in a fight or something?
01:13:07Well, she's a self-involved bitch and a shitty friend.
01:13:11So, she's just like you.
01:13:13Thought I had more underwear.
01:13:14Apparently, I only have three pairs.
01:13:15Light days and...
01:13:16Bye, Matthew.
01:13:24Yeah, bye.
01:13:25Jillian, uh, it's so nice to see you again.
01:13:51Hi, Cassie.
01:13:52It's great to see you again, too.
01:13:56I have some news that I think you'll be interested in.
01:14:00Hope I was a fan.
01:14:06Bye.
01:14:10Shut up, man.
01:14:11I'm happy to see you again.
01:14:13Bye.
01:14:14Bye.
01:14:23Bye.
01:14:23Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:14:53Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:15:23No, ugh, Mom, stop being a mom.
01:15:26You should be bitching with me.
01:15:27Say something mean about Elliot so I feel better.
01:15:29Go.
01:15:31When your father and I were watching The L Word
01:15:34and Vette cheated on Tina,
01:15:35she sent flowers and apologized.
01:15:38So I think that's what you should do.
01:15:40Oh, and write a note
01:15:41that says you hold all the cards.
01:15:44For the love of God,
01:15:46stop watching The L Word with Dad.
01:15:48Just stop watching it.
01:15:49I don't know, honey.
01:15:51Maybe you should be talking to Cassie about all this.
01:15:53We're still fighting.
01:15:55What about Levi?
01:15:57He's too busy fucking beautiful men.
01:15:59I hope he's using protection.
01:16:01Well, this conversation is not helping at all.
01:16:06Are all girls this crazy and dramatic?
01:16:10Probably.
01:16:11What are you and Dad saying tonight?
01:16:17We're talking to you, honey.
01:16:19No, saying.
01:16:20Like, what are you doing?
01:16:21Oh, I need to look up that slang word.
01:16:23We are going golfing with Tracy and Steve.
01:16:26Gay.
01:16:27You really shouldn't say that.
01:16:29No, no, no.
01:16:30I'm allowed to say it.
01:16:31I am gay, so it's fine.
01:16:32Like, all black people are allowed to call themselves...
01:16:34I don't think so.
01:16:38I'm miserable.
01:16:40Oh, Heidi, your father's yelling at me.
01:16:42We're late.
01:16:42Sorry, pumpkin.
01:16:43We have to go.
01:16:44I just told you that I was miserable.
01:16:46And I love you.
01:16:53I hate you.
01:16:54I'm coming with you.
01:16:56I belong in New York.
01:16:58Like, look at this face.
01:16:59This is totally a New York face.
01:17:01Did you know rent for a 300-square-foot apartment
01:17:03and then it's like $1,800?
01:17:08Okay.
01:17:09You need to have more of an L.A. face.
01:17:14I haven't heard from Mackenzie in a couple of days.
01:17:16I assume she's losing her mind.
01:17:19From what?
01:17:22You moving to New York?
01:17:23Oh, please.
01:17:25I didn't even tell her.
01:17:26Are you fucking kidding me?
01:17:28She didn't tell me she was gay,
01:17:29so I'm not going to tell her I'm moving.
01:17:31Oh, yeah, that's not the same thing at all.
01:17:34You know that, right?
01:17:35Well, why don't you tell her then?
01:17:39Okay, I'm just really tired of being the GBF
01:17:42that just literally helps you two with your problems.
01:17:44I have a life, too, you know?
01:17:46Did you know I can speak three languages?
01:17:48You do not.
01:17:49Okay, correction.
01:17:51I could if I learned them.
01:17:54Put that on your resume.
01:17:56I mean, what are you guys even arguing about?
01:17:59You have three minutes to tell me
01:18:00because I have a date tonight.
01:18:02What? It's 11.
01:18:04Okay, Grandma.
01:18:07Mackenzie is just so self-involved.
01:18:11It's like she got a girlfriend
01:18:13and completely forgot I existed.
01:18:14This is coming from the girl
01:18:15who had no idea that her best friend was gay.
01:18:19Okay, you know what?
01:18:20She had a boyfriend.
01:18:23And, sure,
01:18:25her fashion sense isn't the greatest,
01:18:27but she is colorblind,
01:18:30and a lot of girls like hiking
01:18:33and outdoorsy stuff
01:18:34and have posters of Michelle Rodriguez.
01:18:39Oh, shit.
01:18:40There we go.
01:18:43Mm-hmm.
01:18:44Yeah.
01:18:44Mm-hmm.
01:18:48Well, whatever.
01:18:50I'm moving to New York,
01:18:51and I'm not telling her.
01:18:52That's that.
01:18:57Okay, look.
01:18:58You're a big girl.
01:18:59You can do whatever you want.
01:19:01I'm just the really sexy gay man
01:19:03who gives exceptional advice,
01:19:05so you don't have to listen to me or anything.
01:19:08But you're gonna regret this.
01:19:10Just like you'll regret this outfit you put on tonight.
01:19:15Mackenzie bought me this shirt.
01:19:17You two should be in each other's lives
01:19:18until one of you dies.
01:19:20And let's be real,
01:19:21it's most likely gonna be Mackenzie
01:19:23from choking on some sort of food.
01:19:26She needs to learn how to stop talking
01:19:27while she's eating.
01:19:28It's revolting.
01:19:31What if she doesn't want me in her life anymore?
01:19:35I mean, she's gay now,
01:19:36and I'm straight,
01:19:38so we just don't have anything in common.
01:19:40You're being so dramatic.
01:19:43Mackenzie's always been gay, babe.
01:19:45So, guess what?
01:19:47Nothing's changed.
01:19:49Don't ruin this friendship
01:19:50over literally, like, nothing.
01:19:52You do give really good advice.
01:19:58I know.
01:19:59I think I should have my own morning talk show.
01:20:01Oh, my God.
01:20:02I would totally not watch that.
01:20:04Yeah.
01:20:06I would never bring you on,
01:20:08just so you know.
01:20:14Fuck this.
01:20:15Fucking sight.
01:20:16Un-fucking-believable.
01:20:37Wow.
01:20:37Wow.
01:20:37Fucking face.
01:20:38Oh, shit.
01:20:57автомjets inck.
01:20:58Oh, my God.
01:21:02Aw, my God.
01:21:03Cool.
01:21:04Oh, my God.
01:21:05Qu'est-ce que c'est ce qu'on a dit?
01:21:24Oh, qu'est-ce que c'est?
01:21:35How did I not know you were a lesbian?
01:21:42Where the fuck are my keys?
01:21:55Hey.
01:21:57Hey.
01:21:58Were you seriously going to leave without telling me?
01:22:01No, I was literally on my way right now to tell you.
01:22:03Oh, my God, we are scarily similar.
01:22:11New York, huh?
01:22:14What are we going to do?
01:22:16I guess we'll just have to have phone sex every day
01:22:19until you can visit me on weekends.
01:22:25Look, I want to give you this, like, big apologetic speech
01:22:30about what a shitty friend I was.
01:22:32You don't have to.
01:22:33I think we both said things that we regret, and
01:22:38we've both kind of been shitty friends lately.
01:22:44I'm sorry.
01:22:46I really am.
01:22:48I'm sorry, too.
01:22:49in fact...
01:22:54I actually wrote a song about it.
01:22:58What?
01:22:59Yeah.
01:23:00I wrote this song when I heard you were going away,
01:23:03and...
01:23:03and...
01:23:03and I just thought, like,
01:23:05that's, like, the perfect way to send her off,
01:23:07so I'm just gonna sing it right now, okay?
01:23:09Oh.
01:23:10Okay.
01:23:10Okay.
01:23:10Here we go.
01:23:11I'm gonna sing it.
01:23:12I'm gonna sing it.
01:23:12Hmm.
01:23:13Ah!
01:23:16What?
01:23:19Oh, my God!
01:23:20I'm obviously joking!
01:23:22I can't even go through with this.
01:23:25Okay.
01:23:26I was like, what the hell is going on right now?
01:23:29I was like, I don't know how I'm just gonna pretend
01:23:31to enjoy this shitty song that she prepared for me.
01:23:33Oh, my God.
01:23:56Is this speech time, kid?
01:24:03In the flesh.
01:24:06Literally in the flesh.
01:24:08I could not find his clothes anywhere.
01:24:15You're gonna need something to remind you of me in New York
01:24:17and this naked plastic man.
01:24:20Wait.
01:24:28This is for you.
01:24:29Is this a ball gown Barbie?
01:24:41I'm gonna fucking miss you, you loser.
01:24:43Oh, my God.