90 Day Pillow Talk Season 29 Episode 7
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😹
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00:00Baby, come on, it's family night.
00:05Coming, Mother Teresa.
00:07Hey.
00:08Oh, hello.
00:09What are you doing under the bed?
00:11What are you doing?
00:12Hey, hey, hey, I thought you were asleep.
00:14Rock candy?
00:15Sleeping bag?
00:16Brother's slumber party?
00:18Watch a little 90 day?
00:20Your grandpa said it's family night.
00:23It's a family night.
00:25Three, two, one, go.
00:30What are you doing?
00:31What are you doing?
00:32Eww.
00:35You don't have to wait for your mom always to get out.
00:38What if she doesn't go out?
00:40I found Lucille's number.
00:42Oh, wait.
00:43Oh, my God.
00:44Oh, my God, I got to call her.
00:45How about your rules?
00:46Are they following all your rules or not?
00:48That's over and done with.
00:50Last minute day.
00:52Now I got to hear them in the shower together.
00:56I still think that I would be a better, you know,
00:59a better guy to be with.
01:01They're just trying to discourage him.
01:03I don't know.
01:04I mean, I don't feel like he's being bad.
01:06The ex is still in love with her.
01:08And she kind of shut it down.
01:09She kind of shut it down?
01:10She kind of shut it down.
01:11What's the full word for friend?
01:13Bleep.
01:14Two sides of the bleep.
01:16Bleep.
01:18That mother bleep.
01:21My daughter's distraught.
01:22My fiance's distraught.
01:23My daughter's distraught.
01:24My fiance's distraught.
01:25There may or may not be a wedding.
01:27You're trying to marry somebody younger than me,
01:29and you have a two-year-old with her.
01:31She should be like, oh, good for you.
01:33My dad is a bleep player.
01:35Mark's got to be like this.
01:36Listen, you either stop acting up
01:38or no more plane rides for you guys.
01:40All right?
01:41The bus for you.
01:46All right.
01:47Oh, it's bedtime.
01:49You got to go to your mommy's.
01:50Yeah.
01:52Save me, Mom.
01:54Hi, Mr.
01:56Say goodnight.
01:58Goodnight, everyone.
02:00Bye.
02:01Bonne nuit.
02:02All right, Pat.
02:03I have a little game set up for us,
02:05a little sibling rivalry.
02:06We'll play games throughout, you know, the show,
02:08and, you know, whoever wins is the best.
02:10Yeah, what do you got?
02:11Like a triathlon.
02:12Yeah, what are the games?
02:13You'll find out.
02:14It's going to be a surprise, all right?
02:16I mean, you're definitely not going to win.
02:18I'm going to be honest with you.
02:19It's not your time.
02:20You're injured.
02:21What, are we running?
02:23It doesn't matter.
02:24You're a lame duck.
02:26You're useless.
02:27You're half a man right now.
02:29You'd be surprised.
02:30I got hurt.
02:31But you can ask Thais.
02:32You know how I know you lost.
02:33There's nothing missing.
02:34Oh, nobody wants to love Ima.
02:36Go give him a kiss and a hug.
02:38Hi.
02:39It's like nighttime.
02:41Hey, hey, hey, no eating my nuts.
02:42Hey, what are you doing?
02:43I'm going to get to sleep.
02:44No, no, no.
02:45No nuts.
02:47We're going back to bed.
02:49I love you.
02:50No, no, no.
02:52OK, come here.
02:53Stop laughing.
02:54You're encouraging them like it's OK.
02:56You know, I met your mother wearing a cheetah print dress,
03:00just like this.
03:01Stop laughing.
03:02So like mother, like daughter.
03:04It was the year 2008?
03:06Yeah.
03:07Eight, was it?
03:08It was eight, yes.
03:09You're correct.
03:10Why are you so aggressive about it?
03:11Why are you so angry?
03:12She doesn't want to be a part of our family.
03:14I am all the time.
03:152008.
03:16Gosh.
03:17Because that was a horrible year.
03:18OK, I was traumatized.
03:19It was the year you met me.
03:20Yeah, exactly.
03:21That's so rude.
03:22The best part about it was meeting Chloe in 2008.
03:26Oh.
03:27Yeah.
03:28Who are you excited to see today?
03:29I like the baker guy.
03:30He's, uh, I feel for him.
03:32Greg?
03:33Yeah.
03:34I feel for his mom.
03:35Hey, at least there's only two of them.
03:37There's four of us when we live there.
03:39All right, guys, hands in the middle.
03:40Family night on three.
03:41One, two, three.
03:43Family night!
03:44Woo!
03:46I play a game like you do.
03:48We're in North Carolina.
03:49That's where Robert De Niro killed people.
03:52What?
03:53Cape Fear, the movie.
03:55Oh, my god.
03:56That's so random.
03:58Oh, Mark and Mina.
04:00OK, this guy.
04:01And Maria.
04:03I like Mark, but to want to have another kid at his age
04:08is the last thing I would ever want to do.
04:11Mina and my daughter, Jordan, finally met again
04:14for the first time since Paris,
04:16and it completely went sideways.
04:18Right now, my daughter's distraught,
04:20my fiancee's distraught.
04:22There may or may not be a wedding.
04:24I mean, look at the shirt Mark's got on.
04:25Like, how can you not have fun in that shirt?
04:27If I was Jordan, I would be pissed.
04:30Because you're a little...
04:33You're trying to marry somebody younger than me,
04:35and you have a two-year-old with her.
04:37She should be like, oh, good for you.
04:39My dad is a player.
04:41Whatever.
04:42Have fun, Dad.
04:44I don't know how to even begin to fix this, so...
04:47My brother lives on Bald Head Island
04:49with his wife and kids,
04:51so that's where we're going to try to have a fun family barbecue.
04:55Oh, I love it. Bald Head Island.
04:58Hey.
04:59Bald Head.
05:00Bald Head Island. I've never been there.
05:03That's surprising.
05:04I know. That's what I'm saying.
05:05That's where my peeps are.
05:06You look festive.
05:08Warm.
05:09Beach attire.
05:12Yeah.
05:14Greet your stepmom. Come on, Jordan.
05:17I might push her off the ferry.
05:19Why can't you be happy for the dead?
05:21If they didn't have a baby, it would be different.
05:23You can cut that tension with a knife.
05:26Maybe they're hangry.
05:28Get a burger and each of these bees.
05:30It's problem solved.
05:31Give them some coleslaw and some sloppy joe.
05:32That's all they need.
05:33Yep.
05:34Coleslaw.
05:35That's all they need.
05:36Barbecue.
05:37Mm-hmm.
05:39Marina.
05:44The RBF on this boat. Elite.
05:47Good luck, women. Good luck on the boat.
05:50You know what you gotta say is,
05:51Mac's gotta be like this.
05:52Listen, you either stop acting up
05:54or no more plane rides for you guys.
05:56All right? The bus for you.
06:00Here we go.
06:01Okay, where we at, y'all?
06:02We're in the desert.
06:03No, surfboards.
06:05I love the ocean.
06:07It's L.A.
06:08Shekinah and Sarper.
06:09Ah, you're right.
06:10My client is almost here.
06:12I need you to exit the building.
06:16Get the hell out, basically.
06:18Skadoodle.
06:19That's code word for you gotta go, baby.
06:22Sarper, you are fired.
06:24Don't be dramatic.
06:26Bye.
06:27Oh, man.
06:28I feel bad for him with this stuff.
06:30You look so depressed.
06:31Shekinah and Sarper in L.A.
06:33You know, she's stunningly beautiful.
06:35She's so pretty.
06:36She's very pretty.
06:37She's so pretty in person.
06:38Almost as pretty as your mom.
06:40Aw.
06:41That was sweet.
06:42Aw, that's my boy.
06:44Points for me.
06:46Shekinah has a client today,
06:48so I have to leave the house.
06:51But it's messed up like here.
06:52What is he supposed to do?
06:53Go for another run, explore the city.
06:56Like, go get a coffee somewhere.
06:58I don't know.
06:59For two hours, look, he's walking around,
07:01doesn't know what to do.
07:05So, you know.
07:09Bro!
07:10What?
07:11You scared them out of me,
07:12and I don't even have them.
07:13No, you scared him.
07:14Bye.
07:15Bye-bye.
07:16What do you think about Shekinah
07:18worrying that there's, like,
07:19all this temptation
07:20that you're not going to be able to handle?
07:23They can tempt me.
07:25They cannot.
07:26I mean, even if they open their boobs,
07:29I won't be tempted.
07:30I just look and go.
07:32Are you sure?
07:33I just look and go.
07:34Just look and go.
07:35I have to get a look first.
07:36I think somebody flashing their boobs on Venice Beach
07:38is probably the most normal thing
07:39you're going to see on Venice Beach, so.
07:41And someone walking a chicken on a leash.
07:44I've seen that before.
07:45Oh, really?
07:47Hello.
07:49Hello.
07:51Hello, how are you?
07:52Hello, parents.
07:53Serpil, Dirtian, and Sharper.
07:56They're in Miami.
07:57Hello.
07:58I like their Spanish.
08:00What are you doing right now?
08:02I'm around Shekinah's house.
08:05Shekinah's sick.
08:06I'm taking care of her.
08:08I'd be so annoyed.
08:09Oh, my God.
08:10Well, you're always annoyed, so.
08:12True.
08:14You know what's really annoying?
08:15Your hiccups.
08:16Yeah, I know.
08:17Well, I don't know why
08:18I can't just stay in another room.
08:19I mean, how long do these facials last?
08:21An hour.
08:22Well, big deal.
08:24Spend an hour in the bathroom.
08:25I feel uncomfortable.
08:26I know.
08:27Don't tell me about bathroom time.
08:28This guy right here.
08:30Hi.
08:31Hi.
08:32How are you?
08:33Come in.
08:34Good.
08:35How are you?
08:36Good.
08:37I can't complain.
08:38Thanks.
08:39You ready for your facial?
08:40Yes.
08:41Okay.
08:42I would let Shekinah do a facial on me.
08:43I feel like she knows what she's doing.
08:44Oh, yeah, she knows what she's doing.
08:45Look at that laboratory over there.
08:46Laboratory.
08:47The laboratory.
08:48The lab's laboratory.
08:49Who says that?
08:50Oh, my God.
08:51Hawaii was incredible.
08:52Yeah?
08:53I went alone.
08:54I met a guy.
08:55Okay.
08:56I feel like I've told you this before,
08:57but I, like,
08:58don't just hook up with random people.
08:59Yeah.
09:00But I said, eff it.
09:01Usually when they say that,
09:02that means they do hook up with random people.
09:03Yeah, I don't do that,
09:04but then I said, eff it,
09:05and I was like,
09:06let me just hook up with random guys in Hawaii.
09:07I think every girl has said that.
09:08Come on, ladies.
09:09Let's be honest.
09:10You say that,
09:11but then you do it all the time.
09:12Yeah, you say that.
09:13You say that.
09:14Like, I never.
09:15But we did finally hook up,
09:16and the poor guy,
09:17I guess he had whiskey.
09:18Is that what you call it?
09:19Earmuffs.
09:20Earmuffs.
09:21Earmuffs.
09:22Earmuffs.
09:23Earmuffs.
09:24Earmuffs.
09:25Earmuffs.
09:26Earmuffs.
09:27Earmuffs.
09:28Earmuffs.
09:29Earmuffs.
09:30Earmuffs.
09:31Earmuffs.
09:32Earmuffs.
09:33Earmuffs.
09:34Earmuffs.
09:35Earmuffs.
09:36Earmuffs.
09:37Earmuffs.
09:38Earmuffs.
09:39Earmuffs.
09:40Earmuffs.
09:41Earmuffs.
09:42Do you say nothing?
09:43I don't even know if I could call it hooking up,
09:44because you go to put it in,
09:45and it would just go.
09:46Wow.
09:47Yeah, that is a lot of information.
09:48You know,
09:49there's no more excuses these days
09:50with all the pills you can take.
09:51Back in the day,
09:52in my day,
09:53whiskey happened all the time.
09:54My buddy over there,
09:55he was like,
09:56I need for me to stay here.
10:08Venting too much to nobody
10:10is not good about the relationship.
10:11That's it.
10:12And to the parents also not good.
10:13Yeah.
10:14I feel like they're really power couples,
10:16just like the beginning is always rough.
10:18It's always hard, you know.
10:19Transitioning from Turkey
10:21and lifestyle in the U.S.,
10:22it's not easy.
10:23I mean, you cried a couple nights.
10:25I never cried.
10:26Kobe was homesick.
10:27You were.
10:28It's okay.
10:29You can admit it.
10:32You want to head on inside?
10:33Yeah?
10:34Yeah.
10:38Are you in a rush?
10:40Yeah.
10:42I mean, those first 90 days,
10:44you do go at it as much as you can.
10:46As soon as John's gone out of the house,
10:47that couch is getting destroyed.
10:49This couch.
10:50Kind of makes me feel
10:51a little squeamish inside now.
10:55Ta-da!
10:59Bro, what's the deal with all these socks?
11:01It's the first event of the triathlon.
11:03It's sock basketball.
11:05You know, first three to score
11:07three socks, hoops, wins.
11:09You know what I'm saying?
11:10First person to three.
11:11All right.
11:12Age before beauty,
11:13you can take your shot.
11:14Three, two, one.
11:18Score.
11:21Score.
11:24Score.
11:27Damn it.
11:33Score.
11:34Ah!
11:35Smoked you three for three, sucker.
11:37First event goes to me.
11:41Look at that, you bum.
11:42You're one for three.
11:44Chloe, aren't you Gen Z-ers?
11:46Like, y'all keep coming up
11:47with these crazy slang words
11:49for everything.
11:50I'm not that crazy.
11:51I know them all.
11:52What about Riz?
11:53Charisma.
11:54Yes.
11:55Charisma.
11:56Something you don't have, so.
11:58What about when things are
11:59clapping and snapping?
12:01Clapping was like three years ago.
12:02Like fire.
12:03Okay, fire is coming back.
12:05Like them wings are slapping.
12:07Yeah.
12:08Okay.
12:09And clapping.
12:10Okay, clapping is not a thing.
12:11Stop with the clapping.
12:12It was always a thing.
12:13It's never a thing.
12:14For us, clapping would
12:15turn off a light.
12:24Mina.
12:26Oh, we're back with
12:27Mark and Mina and Jordan.
12:30Uh-oh, what's she gonna say?
12:31Oh, if looks could kill.
12:35I just want us to, like,
12:36clear the air.
12:37Yeah.
12:38For me too, I talk to Mark.
12:40I know it's very important
12:41for Mark, for the family.
12:44And me too, I like family.
12:47I mean, at first I thought
12:48someone was gonna get
12:49thrown off the ferry,
12:50but you know what?
12:51There could be some peace.
12:52Yeah, we'll see.
12:53Yeah, we'll just take it, like,
12:55day by day and see
12:57how things go.
12:58Okay, so no apologizing.
12:59There you go.
13:00No one apologized.
13:01That's another way
13:02of apologizing.
13:03No, I'm gonna need an
13:04I'm sorry for the way I acted.
13:06This is a taxi?
13:08Yeah, there's no cars here.
13:10Excuse.
13:11Yeah, it's all golf carts.
13:12This is how retired people live.
13:14I love driving golf carts.
13:16Well, you would love Bald Head.
13:17Why don't we all go to
13:18Bald Head this summer?
13:20Remember all the cars
13:21parking, like, in Bahamas?
13:23When I went with Noga,
13:24she drove.
13:25I couldn't do it.
13:26Noga was like,
13:27I don't trust you.
13:28I don't trust you either.
13:30I'm a very good driver.
13:31You're not.
13:33Oh, here we are.
13:34Here they come.
13:36Oh, boy.
13:37Okay.
13:38Uh-oh, look,
13:39she's already gossiping.
13:40Jordan's like,
13:41I already told Grandma about you.
13:42Oh, look at Maria sneaking.
13:44Maybe she didn't say anything.
13:46Doubtful.
13:47I like this.
13:48She calls anything in my house
13:49that's wood is rustic.
13:51And how's his wardrobe going?
13:53Incredible.
13:54I open the fridge for eat,
13:57and I see the food is expired.
14:01Food from 2017.
14:03What?
14:04Mark.
14:05I bet if we look right now,
14:06there's some expired food.
14:07Yeah, I was about to say,
14:08let's be so frugal.
14:09I cleaned out the fridge yesterday.
14:10You are rude.
14:11No, and our pantry.
14:12Pantry is your responsibility.
14:13Don't even talk to me.
14:14That pantry is not my responsibility, Mom.
14:15And there's things in there from 2019.
14:16That's your own fault.
14:17Well, Jordan got over here before we did.
14:21So did she have much to say?
14:23I don't want to be quoted on it.
14:25She just, I could tell she's upset.
14:27No, well, that's what we all think.
14:30But did she go early there,
14:31or did she just arrive early?
14:33Because they took longer
14:34because they have a young baby.
14:35They took the same boat there, Tim.
14:37Yeah.
14:38So she literally landed and was like, peace.
14:40I didn't know Jordan was that upset
14:42over that Paris trip.
14:43I always thought that whole weekend
14:44went pretty good.
14:45I'm going to stop you there.
14:47I didn't think it went great.
14:49Wow, nobody liked it.
14:51He is so whipped.
14:53I'm sorry, he is so whipped.
14:55It bothered me that night at the party
14:57when she was three or four hours late.
14:59And she kind of came out like this
15:01princess-like vibe thing,
15:05and I was like, what the heck?
15:07Do not come four hours late
15:09to an event I'm sitting at.
15:10Well, you know, it reminds me of a wedding
15:12I went out to in California.
15:14The bride was not from the United States,
15:16and she never came out to meet us,
15:19talk to us.
15:20And that wedding ended in divorce.
15:22It did, and it was a nasty divorce.
15:24Exactly.
15:26It almost feels like now my own brother, Rich,
15:28is siding with Jordan
15:31and against Mina as well.
15:33So I'm this close to wanting
15:35to leave this family barbecue
15:37because none of this is conducive
15:40to me and Mina's relationship.
15:42Oh, dang, Mark's going to leave.
15:44Tell you, I'm telling you,
15:46he's going to be flying home.
15:48I'm telling you, the guy is motivated
15:50by one thing.
15:51What?
15:52That he's a super nice guy.
15:53Yes.
15:54He's motivated by vagina.
15:56That's what he's trying to say.
16:03Back with Greg and Joan.
16:05In New York.
16:06In the coop.
16:07In the coop.
16:08I didn't know he had chickens.
16:10That's a lot of chickens.
16:11That's a lot of chickens, too.
16:12He's a baker, you know,
16:13you got to have fresh eggs.
16:15Nice chicken coop.
16:17It is nice.
16:18Especially for how much eggs
16:19are going right now.
16:20Yeah, it's a gold mine.
16:22Oh, you got the eggs?
16:23Wow.
16:24I'm going to go to work a little bit.
16:26You'll be all right without me?
16:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:29Of course.
16:30Of course.
16:31Mom's going to give them some space.
16:32Uh-oh.
16:33Guess what's going to happen.
16:34Joan can't wait.
16:35Maybe a quickie in the chicken coop?
16:37I mean, I'm sure it's not
16:38out of possibilities, you know?
16:40Want to head on inside?
16:41Yeah?
16:42Yeah.
16:43Yeah?
16:44Yeah.
16:46Are you in a rush?
16:48Yeah.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Uh-oh.
16:51Here comes the music.
16:53Yeah, he's in a rush.
16:54He's got to get it done
16:55before mom gets home.
16:56I mean, those first 90 days,
16:58you do go at it as much as you can.
17:00As soon as John's gone out of the house,
17:01that couch is getting destroyed.
17:03This couch.
17:04Kind of makes me feel
17:05a little squeamish inside now.
17:08An hour later.
17:10Geez Louise, a whole hour.
17:12An hour.
17:13An hour.
17:14I doubt it.
17:16First time I've seen you
17:17in this bathrobe here.
17:20What are they, on their honeymoon?
17:21What are they, got a hot tub
17:22out there?
17:23Just walk around in their bathrobes?
17:24You know there's mosquitoes out there.
17:26What's going on with the pressure?
17:28Wait a minute, Louise.
17:29I already did.
17:32Oh.
17:33What did he say?
17:34Uh, never mind.
17:37You don't have to wait
17:38for your mom always to get out.
17:40What if she doesn't go out?
17:44I know.
17:45It's just killing me
17:46to stay here for two years.
17:48Two years.
17:49Yeah, two years is too long.
17:50You got to make moves faster.
17:52Six months is much more realistic.
17:55Well, when you guys lived
17:56at our house in the basement,
17:57you guys were always
17:58having a good time.
17:59Yeah, we'd get along pretty well.
18:00Yeah, it was pretty easy going.
18:02Except we'd get into a fight
18:03here and then,
18:04and then you'd be on Kobe's side.
18:05All right, all right, Emily.
18:06Tone it down.
18:07Well, you always got to be
18:08on the right side.
18:09No.
18:10That's a thing.
18:11No, that is not the thing.
18:13Right there.
18:16I feel like if you don't get a job,
18:19I want to go back to Uganda.
18:21What'd you just say?
18:23You heard me, boy.
18:24Don't make me say it again.
18:26I think Joan's just like,
18:28you know, they haven't
18:29gotten intimate in a while,
18:31and then the moment they did,
18:32she was like, great,
18:33now you know what you'll miss
18:34if I go back to Uganda.
18:35Or maybe it was like,
18:36yeah, this s*** is no good.
18:38Yeah, true.
18:39I'm going back.
18:41She wasn't impressed.
18:43So I feel like I need to get more tea
18:47on Joan and Greg,
18:49and I still have some friends
18:50on Long Island,
18:51and I feel like I can track down
18:53Lucille's number,
18:54and I just feel it in me
18:55that I need to do it.
18:56I like want the gossip,
18:57don't you?
18:58I'm not going to stop you, honey.
18:59Watch and learn
19:01how fast you can get this done.
19:04He has been using all my stuff.
19:07I have to conceal my wrinkles.
19:09Yeah, he uses the wrong products
19:11in the wrong places.
19:12Do a little makeup tutorial
19:13with him, Shekinah.
19:14It doesn't go so well
19:15for men that, you know,
19:16wear makeup.
19:17Well, he's obviously a pretty boy.
19:18Also, you wear makeup, Tim,
19:19so like, pot, meat, kettle.
19:21Holy s***.
19:23I found Lucille's number.
19:25Oh, my God.
19:26Oh, my God, I got to call her.
19:27Okay, call her.
19:28Get your accent ready.
19:30What if Lucille don't like it?
19:33Nice to see you.
19:34Hey, Lucille.
19:35Hello.
19:37It was really nice to meet you.
19:40We loved watching you
19:41and Gregory and Joan
19:42this whole season.
19:43Yes.
19:44I remember at the very beginning,
19:46you're one of the, like,
19:47the couples that when
19:48they first started, right?
19:49Yep.
19:50Yeah, still going strong.
19:52We've been there for a minute.
19:54I don't know if you know this,
19:55we actually lived with my parents
19:57for a little bit
19:59when Alex moved here
20:01a long time ago.
20:02There was a lot of house rules, too,
20:04and we tried to follow.
20:07Respect the space.
20:08Yes, we tried to respect the space.
20:10How many years was that
20:11that you spent with them?
20:12Like eight months.
20:13Yeah, like eight months.
20:14That was enough, right?
20:16Two years is a really long time.
20:19Yeah, I find that we're getting away
20:22in each other's way
20:23lately in the kitchen.
20:25He can cook for us anytime, though.
20:27Gregory wants to take over,
20:29and I'm like, well, what do I do?
20:31Do we, you know,
20:32dance around each other
20:33in the kitchen?
20:35Like last night,
20:36because he was making his bread.
20:38Bread maker here.
20:40Yeah, Lauren makes bread, too.
20:41I make a challah.
20:43Challah for chocolate.
20:44The challah's very nice.
20:46Gregory's bread looks really good,
20:48and you think you would
20:49share a recipe with me?
20:50Oh, yeah.
20:51His recipes are very simple.
20:53He makes his own yeast.
20:54Sometimes he adds
20:56roasted garlic and onion to it.
20:58Oh, yeah.
20:59Yum.
21:00How about your rules?
21:01Are they following
21:02all your rules or not?
21:03That's over and done with.
21:06Less than a day.
21:07Yeah.
21:08Now I got to hear him
21:09in the shower together.
21:11Maybe they think in the shower
21:13and you can't hear nothing
21:14because it's noisy.
21:15I think so.
21:16You can tell by the water bill, huh?
21:18I know.
21:19It's like, you know,
21:20they're having a ball,
21:21and I got to be like,
21:22la, la, la, la, la, la.
21:25So I hear you have
21:27a wonderful, great Long Island accent.
21:30Oh, my God, yeah.
21:31I don't think I do,
21:32but Lauren makes fun of me sometimes,
21:34so you'll be the judge.
21:36All I know how to say is
21:37water, water, and coffee.
21:39That's all you got?
21:40That's all you got?
21:41That's all you got.
21:42That's all I got, coffee.
21:44How about pizza?
21:46Pizza.
21:47That's not Long Island.
21:48That's Italian already.
21:49That's Italian.
21:51Lucio, thank you for taking my call.
21:53I'm glad I found you.
21:54Now I can text you
21:55for bread recipes.
21:57Yes, of course.
21:58Have a great day.
21:59It was very nice meeting you.
22:01Bye, Lucio.
22:02Have a great day.
22:03Bye-bye.
22:05I can't believe I found Lucio.
22:07Yes, you got Lucio on the phone.
22:09It was fun.
22:10Doesn't it bring out
22:11the New Yorker in you,
22:12like, the accent?
22:13Let me hear you say Gaelic.
22:14No, that's not Long Island.
22:16That is.
22:17Now you're inventing.
22:18I'm inventing in the laboratory.
22:21I said inventing.
22:22I said inventing in,
22:24What's wrong with laboratory?
22:25I don't understand.
22:26Who says that in a lab?
22:28It's a word.
22:35All right, here we go.
22:36Chicana isapa.
22:38Is he trimming his beard?
22:39What's that for?
22:40Is that a butter knife?
22:42What are you doing?
22:44Where did you get this?
22:45This is mine.
22:47Oh, man.
22:48Babe, you can't shave here.
22:50Uh-oh.
22:51Uh-oh.
22:53Don't mess with a girl's razor.
22:55Oh, my God.
22:56It's her microdermablasion blade.
22:58What is that?
22:59That's a shave?
23:00You did it last night.
23:01You microdermablade.
23:02You, like, take the peach fuzz off.
23:03I don't think it was shave.
23:04I think he was brushing his hairs
23:06to make the mistrip.
23:07No, it's a blade.
23:08Sarper is very vain.
23:10He likes to take care of himself
23:11almost as much as I do.
23:13He's trying to look good.
23:14You're walking the streets of L.A.
23:16Yeah.
23:17You're going to be looking good.
23:18Who's more vain, Sarper or Coby?
23:21Of course, Sarper.
23:22I don't know.
23:23I'm selfless, you know?
23:25Anywhere we go, anywhere,
23:26I'm like, babe, you're going to meet...
23:27Oh, babe, everybody loves Coby.
23:31Nobody doesn't love me.
23:32I'm the best.
23:34I'm so cool.
23:35Dad, tell your daughter,
23:36you're welcome.
23:37I mean...
23:39He has been using all my stuff.
23:42I'm getting old, babe.
23:44I have to conceal my wrinkles.
23:46Yeah, he uses the wrong products
23:48in the wrong places.
23:49She just needs to teach him
23:50do a little makeup tutorial
23:51with him, Shekinah.
23:52It doesn't go so well
23:53for men that, you know,
23:54wear makeup.
23:55Well, he's obviously a pretty boy.
23:56Also, you wear makeup, Tim,
23:57so, like, pot meet kettle.
23:58Yes.
23:59Let's get Sarper some man makeup.
24:01And Shekinah...
24:02I got him some man makeup,
24:03but he prefers girl makeup.
24:05I just want you to really
24:09be on your best behavior tonight
24:11and please make a good impression
24:13on my friends.
24:14He's not very good
24:15at making first impressions.
24:17His.
24:18Last time when he met her sister,
24:19he called her a bitch
24:20and then a slut.
24:21I remember when I met your friends
24:22for the first time, bro.
24:24I got grilled so hard,
24:25and I remember being, like,
24:27poor as can be in New York,
24:29visiting, and being like,
24:30I'm gonna buy everybody
24:31a round of drinks.
24:32Who said?
24:33I did.
24:34You bought everybody a round?
24:35Yeah.
24:36Good.
24:37That's what you gotta do.
24:38Impress the friends.
24:39Ate tuna out of a can
24:40for a month because...
24:43I think that Sarper
24:44will be fine
24:45with most of my friends,
24:46but I am worried
24:47about one of them,
24:48and that's Dan.
24:49Oh, I remember this.
24:50Oh, my God, Dan.
24:52I can see Sarper
24:53being a jealous kind of guy,
24:54but again, I guess it depends
24:56on, you know, the person.
24:58Sarper's not gonna like
24:59Dan being jealous.
25:00Like...
25:01Oh, my God.
25:02Hey.
25:03Oh, my God.
25:04How are you?
25:05How are you?
25:06How are you?
25:07Finally.
25:08Hey.
25:09How you doing?
25:10Hello.
25:11Nice to finally meet you.
25:12Oh, that's a nice,
25:13nice hello from Dan
25:15and Sarper, right?
25:17Cute.
25:18Oh, God.
25:19All of our friends got...
25:20Oh, my God, man.
25:21Boom.
25:22Barbie galore.
25:23So, for now,
25:24you're here for three months?
25:25No.
25:26Are you here for three months?
25:27No.
25:28He's moved here.
25:29No, we have three months
25:30to get married.
25:31Like, we need...
25:32We have 90 days to marry.
25:33If we don't get married...
25:34The visa is for 90 days.
25:35So, you have 90 days
25:36to get married.
25:37Yeah, plan suave.
25:38You know already
25:39all the rules.
25:40Don't play dumb.
25:41This man is clearly
25:43not from here.
25:44How does he not understand
25:45how the K-1 visa works?
25:47That doesn't mean
25:48he came in on a K-1.
25:49Oh, my God.
25:50Oh, here's this guy
25:51coming in, dude.
25:52Here comes that French guy.
25:53Yeah, he's like
25:54making a plan.
25:55You're here for three months?
25:56Yeah.
25:57Yeah, are you here
25:58for three months?
25:59Well, I mean,
26:00it's like a trial period, right?
26:0190 days,
26:02like, let's see how it goes.
26:03You're already engaged.
26:04Yes, well,
26:05that means he wants
26:06to marry me.
26:07But in this situation,
26:08maybe it's more like
26:09by convenience
26:10because for you
26:11to stay longer here.
26:12Oh, my God, Sarper,
26:13the face.
26:14I'm getting emotional
26:15for the first time.
26:16By convenience, he says.
26:17I see it.
26:18Keep your cool, Sarper.
26:19Dan's just trying
26:20to discourage him.
26:21I don't know.
26:22I mean, I don't feel like
26:23he's being that.
26:24The ex that's still
26:25in love with her.
26:26So who knows?
26:27Maybe that's changed.
26:28That was a while ago.
26:29And she kind of
26:30shut it down.
26:31So, like, how long?
26:32She kind of shut it down?
26:33She kind of shut it down.
26:34What the f***
26:35is wrong with this dude, man?
26:36What's the f*** word
26:37for friend?
26:38F***.
26:39Two shots
26:40in the f***ing ass
26:41whole thing.
26:43I said it.
26:44F***.
26:45F***.
26:46La mother f***.
26:52But, Sarper,
26:53I'm going to be honest with you.
26:54You know, like,
26:55before she kind of
26:56went back to Turkey,
26:57I didn't believe
26:58in your relationship.
26:59I think you were, like,
27:00just bullshitting her.
27:01I still think
27:02that I would be a better,
27:04you know,
27:05a better guy to be with.
27:06Whoa.
27:07What?
27:08Oh, really?
27:09Like, you're surprised.
27:10Anyway, your chop tie
27:11is over.
27:12Move on.
27:13Move on.
27:14What the f***?
27:16He tries to poke me
27:18with small words,
27:20some ego clash.
27:22What a test.
27:24He handled it
27:25very well so far.
27:26What are you going to say?
27:27You think so?
27:28OK, good for you,
27:29but I got the girl.
27:30Right, he's taking
27:31the high road.
27:32But it's easy for me
27:33to say like that
27:34because I'm not the one
27:35in that position.
27:36No, he didn't stop.
27:37When you're heated like this,
27:38and like he was,
27:39I can't speak either.
27:40I can't say nothing slick.
27:41Like, I'm not good.
27:42I just lose my ability
27:43to defend myself.
27:45Yeah, you become dumb.
27:46And I can't do nothing.
27:47I'm just,
27:48I can't do nothing.
27:49I have to stand there
27:50and do nothing.
27:51So, and you had talked
27:52with my bigger brother.
27:54Ouch.
27:55Yes, and you know
27:56about the bread price.
27:57The dowery
27:58had told you about it.
27:59You get a lot of money
28:00because I screwed that up.
28:01Seriously.
28:02He bought me
28:03for like $7.
28:04No, it was less than that.
28:05It was like 50 cents.
28:08All right,
28:09dad, Kobe and I
28:10were watching
28:11one of our pillow talks
28:12the other night,
28:13and there's a part
28:14where Kobe said,
28:15I was talking to dad
28:16the other day.
28:18About what?
28:19We just,
28:20he said something like,
28:21oh, he feel real good.
28:22Like he drank something
28:23and like, yo,
28:24he said I can feel
28:25right down deep there.
28:26I'm like,
28:27did it get to the gist part?
28:28Ew.
28:29I have no idea
28:30what you're talking about.
28:31It's just,
28:32if I don't understand
28:33what you say
28:34or what Kobe says,
28:35I'll just say something.
28:36Like, yeah, yeah,
28:37you're right.
28:38You would understand.
28:39Do the same thing
28:40with your mom
28:41because my hearing
28:42is not the greatest.
28:43Oh, we know.
28:44Might have been juice box.
28:45Could have been G spot.
28:46Who knows?
28:47All right,
28:48we got the second event
28:49of the triathlon.
28:50Bro,
28:51did you steal those
28:52from Alesi?
28:53I borrowed them.
28:54All right,
28:55so what are the rules?
28:56Well, the rules are
28:57you stack them
28:58as high as you can go.
28:59We got 30 seconds, right?
29:00Whoever is this higher wins.
29:01You can't touch
29:02each other's blocks,
29:03but I'd say
29:04anything else goes.
29:05All right, ready?
29:06Three, two, one, go.
29:08What are you doing?
29:10You can do anything, bro.
29:11You can push each other.
29:12I don't want to hurt you.
29:13That's my problem.
29:18You scream like...
29:19Ew.
29:21You know Alesi's sleepy, right?
29:22Yeah, jerk.
29:24Oh, I didn't hit it.
29:25You don't sit.
29:26Hey, there's only eight seconds left, tough guy.
29:28Oh, you're bummed.
29:29You don't have a chance.
29:30I'm just going to wait.
29:31I'm just going to wait.
29:32Two, one, go.
29:33Oh, you're bummed.
29:34You don't have a chance.
29:35I'm just going to wait.
29:36Three, two, one.
29:39I can't even knock this over.
29:40Yeah, you're...
29:41All right, that's it.
29:42I give up on this game.
29:43This game's a child's game.
29:44It's children.
29:45All right, so it's 1-1.
29:46All right, well,
29:47I'm going to get this out of here.
29:48We've got the third event later.
29:49Are you going to give Alesi
29:50her toys back?
29:51Of course I'm going to give
29:52her her toys back.
29:53All right, you can't take those home.
29:54I'm a good uncle.
29:58Back with Greg and Joan.
30:01Sometimes you don't take
30:02life serious.
30:03I take it serious.
30:04You joke a lot.
30:05I joke too much.
30:06I know.
30:07It's just who I am.
30:08It's what you fell in love with.
30:09Oh.
30:10There he is, using the charm.
30:11Yeah.
30:12It's what you fell in love with,
30:13baby.
30:14He needs to be a little...
30:15Yeah, more serious.
30:16That's what I was going to say.
30:17He, like, thinks everything's
30:18a joke.
30:19But as far as getting a job,
30:20I mean, every day, you know,
30:21I'm on the state website.
30:22I'm looking at jobs
30:23that they've posted.
30:24You know what I mean?
30:25I've put in a bunch
30:26of applications.
30:27I've always told you that.
30:28You know, I don't know
30:29about that, Greg.
30:30I don't know.
30:31I don't know.
30:32I don't know.
30:33I don't know.
30:34I don't know about that, Greg.
30:35I think Greg's lying.
30:36I think Greg's lying there.
30:37The look at his face
30:38and then a sip of the coffee.
30:39And a sip of the coffee.
30:40Yeah, a sip of the coffee.
30:41So then it's always been a lie
30:42because you haven't been doing that.
30:44There's places other than
30:45the state that hire.
30:46Also, but then he's getting jobs
30:48and then turning them down.
30:49So...
30:50We already talked about that.
30:51...looking, not necessarily
30:52the key here.
30:54It's something else.
30:56When I talk to my family,
30:59so Angel had talked about
31:02with my bigger brother.
31:04Alex.
31:05Yes, and you know
31:06about the bride price,
31:07the dowry,
31:08I told you about it.
31:09The dowry.
31:10Here we go.
31:11Wow.
31:12All right, you got to get a goat
31:15and get a lot of money
31:16because I screwed that up.
31:17Seriously.
31:18I was...
31:19He bought me for like $7.
31:21No, it was less than that.
31:22It was like 50 cents.
31:23Oh, he's supposed
31:24to pay a bride price.
31:25Yeah.
31:26Please stop with the table.
31:27You're going to break the table.
31:28I haven't...
31:29I literally haven't even moved.
31:30Please stop with the...
31:31Move your feet.
31:32Every time you move your feet,
31:33please just take your feet
31:34off the table.
31:38Yeah, she sucks.
31:41Yeah, it's 15 cows.
31:43Okay.
31:44All right.
31:45How much is a cow?
31:46Something like 1.5 million shillings.
31:48Ugandan shillings.
31:50Like $200.
31:52It's like three grand almost.
31:54Damn, cows are expensive as hell.
31:56It's like eggs.
31:57Just give them the chickens.
31:58Emily only costs
31:59like a dollar and some Snapple.
32:01Yeah.
32:02Three grand's not as bad as I thought.
32:04It's not 10 grand
32:05what your friend paid.
32:06Bride price in Africa varies.
32:08There are countries in Africa
32:10that don't want to ask anything
32:12just because in case
32:14the marriage doesn't go well,
32:16they can take your daughter back
32:18and pay you back what you offer
32:19for the bride price.
32:20Yeah.
32:21Realistically, though,
32:22how does somebody afford 15 cows?
32:23I mean...
32:24People do afford.
32:25It's just you who can't afford.
32:27So it's not like
32:28people can't afford it.
32:30It's just you.
32:31Oh, snap.
32:33Whoa!
32:34Wow.
32:35She is getting angry.
32:37Yeah.
32:38If the job doesn't come,
32:39which means we're not
32:40going to get married,
32:41which means you can't
32:42take care of me, so...
32:43I mean, like...
32:44The fact is that
32:45if I don't see you
32:46putting in much effort,
32:47that's it.
32:48Love isn't enough.
32:49You gotta provide, dude.
32:50Love is not enough.
32:51Who says that?
32:52I always say that.
32:53Kobe always says that.
32:54Love is not enough.
32:55Love is not...
32:56Love is the foundation.
32:57We should start a GoFundMe for cows.
33:00Yeah, no.
33:01I just want to ignore him.
33:04And he's non-stop talking.
33:06That French baguette,
33:07the little French baguette,
33:09it's non-stop talking.
33:11This is like seventh grade lunch.
33:13Pretty much.
33:14Yeah.
33:17Y'all know what we haven't done
33:18in a long time?
33:20Oh, my God.
33:22That's exactly what I was
33:23going to say.
33:24That's your favorite.
33:25You're supposed to beezer-dong him
33:26with your finger, not your head.
33:27That's your favorite.
33:28Yeah, I know.
33:29Beezer-dong!
33:30She took out my rib cage,
33:31so be careful.
33:32I don't like this game.
33:33What do you mean?
33:34That used to be your favorite game.
33:35It was never my favorite game.
33:37I don't know if you remember this,
33:38but beezer-dong came out
33:40from when we were house shopping.
33:42We saw a sign
33:43with a realtor's name
33:44that was something
33:45like Jim Beezer.
33:47I don't remember that.
33:48You don't remember this?
33:49So then I came up with...
33:51Beezer-dong!
33:52Beezer-dong, yeah.
33:54What's the frame of mommy's sofa?
33:56That really hurt her neck.
33:57Oh, I'm sorry.
33:58I'm sorry.
33:59She might be getting too old
34:00for me to stop.
34:07Where we at?
34:08Starts off with candles.
34:10Where we at?
34:11We're at dinner.
34:12It's my boy.
34:13I didn't think that I would be
34:15a better, you know,
34:17a better guy to be with.
34:18Come on, Shekinah,
34:19stand up for your man.
34:20Good, yes.
34:22And Dan.
34:23Oh, let's not forget about Dan.
34:25I mean, Dan just looks like
34:26he's, like,
34:27trying to get punched in the face.
34:28Well, he's licking his,
34:29look at him lick his lips.
34:30He's like,
34:31I think I'd be better suited
34:33for you than him.
34:35You are not her type,
34:36you know?
34:37You look like a bad boy,
34:38but you are a good boy.
34:40I love how he thinks
34:41that's an insult.
34:42Yeah.
34:43You look like a bad boy,
34:44but you're actually a good boy.
34:46You think Dan's gonna be
34:47invited to the wedding?
34:48I don't know.
34:50You know,
34:51there are some boys,
34:52cat guys.
34:54Some guys are dog guys.
34:57Sarper needs to pick up
34:59his sh**-talking game
35:00because no one got that one.
35:02That's my boy.
35:03That's how you respond.
35:05He's a cat.
35:06He's a pussy in other words.
35:10Easy.
35:12Old version Sarper.
35:13I would bounce him
35:15and throw him up,
35:16catch him in the air
35:17and hug him.
35:20Bye-bye, Dan.
35:21I don't know what that meant.
35:22An alley-oop
35:23is you dribble like a ball.
35:24No, no.
35:25But what is it?
35:26It's a term for basketball.
35:28I know it's a term
35:29for basketball,
35:30but I didn't understand
35:31what he meant.
35:32You're gonna beat him up?
35:33Dan and Sarper
35:34are the octagon.
35:35Who are you taking?
35:36I can see Dan biting.
35:37He seems like he's a biter.
35:38I can see Sarper
35:39wimping out from a good bite.
35:41Sarper would be like,
35:42all right, this guy's crazy.
35:43If Sarper and Dan went at it,
35:45my money's on Sarper any day.
35:47Is that your type of boy?
35:49I mean, he's a little over you,
35:50don't you think?
35:51Obviously.
35:52Dude's like 48.
35:53Obviously, dad.
35:54I just want you to really, like,
35:56take care of her
35:57because she means a lot to me.
35:59I die for her,
36:00I kill for her.
36:01So that's how I care for her.
36:03Just stay quiet, man.
36:05I think he should probably take
36:06what he just said was
36:07I would kill for her
36:09and he should shut the hell up.
36:11Yeah.
36:13I just want to ignore him.
36:14And he's non-stop talking.
36:16That French bagot,
36:18the little French bagot,
36:19it's non-stop talking.
36:24French bagot.
36:25I mean, she brought him out here,
36:27she's committed to him.
36:28Sarper made a huge sacrifice
36:29for leaving his actual family.
36:31I came here only for her.
36:33Look at them, Team Sarper.
36:35Everybody's Team Sarper,
36:36everybody knows this Dan
36:37is out of line.
36:38Come on.
36:39You're jealous.
36:40No, I'm not jealous,
36:41but he's...
36:42He's your...
36:43Seriously, I'm done with that.
36:44What the...
36:45I'm done with this...
36:46Bye, boy, bye.
36:47Okay, bye.
36:48Bye.
36:49Bye, Dan.
36:50That was perfect.
36:51I just want Shekinah to be happy
36:54in what she does
36:55and in her relationship.
36:57So let's see how that's going to play.
36:59Would have gone off on Dan.
37:01He would have seen a D1 crash out.
37:03Uh-huh, uh-huh.
37:04This is a D1 crash out.
37:06A crash out is just like
37:07somebody having a temper tantrum,
37:08but like as an adult.
37:10Like an adult temper tantrum.
37:11So your mom's a crash out
37:12all the time?
37:13Yes.
37:14She's going to crash out
37:15about that tape
37:16and get your feet off the table.
37:18Next time on 90 Day Fiancé...
37:20All right, next time on...
37:22Stevie and Maddie.
37:24We can save $2,000
37:26if we get married
37:27in a couple of weeks.
37:29They're jacking up the price,
37:30so they got to get it done sooner, huh?
37:32Yeah, man, it's inflation, I guess.
37:34I don't want you on my wedding day
37:36not liking my husband.
37:38Like, how am I supposed
37:39to ever trust him again?
37:40You don't have to.
37:42He's not your man.
37:43Are you not telling people
37:44you're in a serious relationship?
37:46You're not?
37:47No, I'm not.
37:48Ho!
37:50Honey.
37:51Oh, my...
37:52Really?
37:53Oh, my...
37:54Ooh, now we're seeing her real.
37:56Damn!
37:57Now she's upset.
37:58We got a walkout.
37:59We got a walkout coming up.
38:00You can't turn a...
38:01ho to a housewife.
38:02That's what the...
38:03is going on.
38:04It's true, though.
38:05No, you can't.
38:06You can't change that.
38:07Yeah, I mean, like...
38:08Once a ho, always a ho.
38:09Dad, it was really nice
38:10having you around and watching.
38:11Thanks. Had a good time.
38:12That was a lot of fun.
38:13I better get going.
38:14I got a long drive home.
38:15No.
38:16It's not even that far away.
38:17You're, like, six minutes.
38:19All right, Yola, let's check on the kids,
38:21finally going to sleep, and then...
38:22Oh, God, I hope so,
38:23because...
38:24Oh, so you're going.
38:25Go.
38:26Man, this was so much fun...
38:27I know.
38:28...watching as a family.
38:29I know.
38:30We've got to make it like a new routine.
38:31I'm actually going to go do
38:32my skincare routine.
38:33What?
38:34So my dad...
38:35You've got to come watch
38:36the skincare routine.
38:37Yeah, come on.
38:38Okay?
38:39There's, like, 300 steps.
38:40She's got it, like,
38:41all down to a science.
38:43We've still got something to finish.
38:44It's called the triathlon.
38:46All you've got to do is
38:47flip it one time in the cup.
38:48It's a one-time, one-in-one.
38:50All right, so first one
38:51who gets it done wins.
38:52Yes.
38:53One, two, three.
38:57There we go.
38:58You better hurry up.
38:59Oh, dude, you just got that in there.
39:00You better hurry up.
39:01Hold on.
39:02Hold on.
39:03Oh!
39:04Oh, yeah!
39:05Champion!
39:06I'm the best.
39:09Well, bro, what do I have to do?
39:11I ain't talking to you.
39:12I don't talk to losers.
39:14So first we're gonna do this spray.
39:16Spray for what?
39:18Eyelash spray?
39:19Oh, my.
39:20And now, we're gonna wash off.
39:22Are you razoring me?
39:23What is that?
39:24No.
39:25Yeah, it's just...
39:26Why?
39:27Y'all are just trying to make...
39:30We're trying to make you pretty.