Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh, hi.
00:01Hi.
00:02Hi.
00:03Hi.
00:04Hi.
00:05Hi.
00:06Hi.
00:07Hi.
00:08We don't mean to interrupt.
00:10We live across the hall.
00:11Oh, that's nice.
00:12Oh, no.
00:13We don't live together.
00:14I mean, we live together, but in separate heterosexual bedrooms.
00:21Oh, okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor, Penny.
00:26Leonard, Sheldon.
00:27Hi.
00:28Hi.
00:29Hi.
00:32Well, uh, oh, welcome to the building.
00:35Oh, thank you.
00:36Maybe we can have coffee sometime.
00:38Oh, great.
00:39Great.
00:40Great.
00:41Great.
00:42Well, uh, bye.
00:44Bye.
00:45Bye.
00:46Bye.
00:48So, Stephanie, here's the thing.
00:52I really like you.
00:54Oh, God, here comes the speech.
00:59What speech?
01:02I really like you, but maybe we should spend a little less time together,
01:07because I need my space, but I'll call you on Tuesday,
01:11and then you never call me, so I call you, but you don't call me back,
01:15and then when I run into you at the coffee shop,
01:17you pretend like you've been having problems with your voicemail,
01:20and I know that you're lying, but I pretend like I don't care,
01:23even though I'm dying inside.
01:29Oh, God.
01:32No.
01:34No, no, I wasn't going to say any of that.
01:38I was just going to say, I really like you.
01:45Oh, good, because I really like you, too.
01:54Terrific.
01:56Who wants to stay in a hotel with windows that don't open,
02:00those crazy card-shaped keys?
02:02I'm so glad you understand.
02:04No, he doesn't understand. I understand.
02:08I understand, too.
02:09You're just misappropriating my understanding.
02:14I think any university would want you,
02:16except, of course, any university that had already had you,
02:19because they would have already wanted you before they, you know, got you.
02:24It was your mind that brought you high-low.
02:29Let me show you to your room.
02:31All right. I guess I am tired. Good night, Leonard.
02:33Uh, sleep tight.
02:35I mean, obviously, good night.
02:37I started to say sleep tight, and then I changed my mind in the middle.
02:40I swear to God, I'm smart.
02:45Get it together, ma'am.
02:48Okay, well, I guess I should get dressed so I can take everyone to work.
02:51You and Sheldon and Sheldon's friend, Dr. Plimpton, who you just met.
02:55It'd be fun. Like a clown car.
02:59Hang on.
03:02We just broke up.
03:03You and me? Yeah, we did not too long ago.
03:05How you doing with it?
03:07Not as good as you, apparently.
03:09I don't follow.
03:11You know what? It's none of my business.
03:12If you want to sleep with Sheldon's doctor buddy right after we stop seeing each other, go for it.
03:17Well, now...
03:18Me?
03:20I'm uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton,
03:24who I assure you has better things to do.
03:27I'm not recommending it. I'm saying it already happened.
03:30That's preposterous. Tell her, Leonard.
03:34Well...
03:39Of course, we're in different departments.
03:41He's an engineer and I'm an experimental physicist.
03:44One of those guys who examines the building blocks of creation and says,
03:48Hello, maker of the universe.
03:51I see what you did there. Good one.
03:55Right.
03:57Now, how would you characterize your relationship with Mr. Wolowitz?
04:01Good.
04:03It's a good relationship.
04:05Of course, most of my relationships are good.
04:08Probably because I exude confidence.
04:12I'm drawn to that, you know.
04:16Confidence, not exuding.
04:20Do you know of any groups Mr. Wolowitz is a member of?
04:23You are beautiful, you know that?
04:26You pop, sparkle, and buzz electric.
04:32I'm gonna pick you up at 8.
04:34Show you a night you will never forget.
04:38Sounds great.
04:40Really?
04:42Yeah.
04:43Can my six-foot-two Navy SEAL husband come with us?
04:49Oh my, I didn't see the ring with my glasses off, so...
04:53Look at that, I'm starting to exude.
04:59Wanna get that?
05:01Not particularly.
05:04Could you get that?
05:05I suppose I could if I were asked.
05:09Please get that.
05:10Of course.
05:13Why do you have to make things so complicated?
05:18Dr. Cooper?
05:19Yes?
05:20I'm Special Agent Page, FBI?
05:25I don't know why she didn't tell me.
05:27Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend?
05:29No.
05:32Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you?
05:34Well, it's not as much a surprise as, you know, the other thing.
05:43What other thing?
05:45If you, uh...
05:49I don't...
05:51What's the word I'm looking for?
05:53I'm not gonna help you, this is hilarious.
05:56Why don't I like the lingerie you got me?
05:59Because it's orange and you think it makes you look like a slutty carrot.
06:05Interesting, I never told you that.
06:07Sure you did.
06:08No, I never told anyone that.
06:11But I did write it in my journal.
06:15What?
06:19I didn't know you had a journal.
06:23I also know your voice gets higher when you're lying.
06:27No, it doesn't.
06:29Some of this.
06:33And, since it's Thanksgiving, an extra helping of this.
06:44Yes, I wanted to talk to you about the email you sent me last night.
06:48I sent you an email?
06:51You bet you did.
06:56Shalom and aloha from the grave of Richard Feynman.
06:59Oh, it's coming back to me.
07:02Please accept the following retraction.
07:05I know I said physics is dead, but it is the opposite of dead.
07:09If anything, it is undead, like a zombie.
07:14Speaking of which, if Richard Feynman came back as a zombie, I would totally let him bite me.
07:21Any chance that's the end?
07:24I got bit by a squirrel once.
07:27I had to get rabies shots.
07:29I cried so much, my mother said, don't be a baby.
07:33In conclusion, physics is great, squirrels suck, and someday I'm going to put my mom in a cheap nursing home.
07:43Yours truly, XOXO, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
07:47I can explain.
07:48P.S.
07:51Can you come pick us up?
07:53The Uber driver won't open the door because Sheldon is covered in blue vomit.