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FunTranscript
00:00What's going on?
00:02What if there was something I wanted to do, but I was worried other people would think less of me?
00:08Is that other person me and does it happen in the bedroom in which case I think I'm cool with it?
00:17No
00:19It's about working with Burt on you know what I'm not even gonna say it
00:23I am just gonna say the letter it starts with and ology G. Oh, no, that's not gonna work
00:30I
00:32Geology yes, but we parted ways because I was worried about my reputation
00:38Sheldon you've never cared what people thought even when you really really should
00:46No, I'm very nervous
01:00Where are you going gift shop there is no gift shop sit down
01:06This was your idea so was having sex and look where that got us
01:12Isn't a big deal stop whining when you were in labor, and I said that you kicked me
01:19Howard Wolowitz
01:23Let me go with you no, I'll be fine. Yeah, we got this sit down
01:31Oh
01:33Wish me luck other way buster
01:43Okay, this is a bit awkward it says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling
01:52You know what it hurts so much go ahead
01:55They're going to start making professor proton science show again. I thought you passed away
02:00He did was cremated and his remains were put in the baking soda volcano
02:06Don't make jokes he meant a lot to Sheldon me too. I grew up watching his show
02:10He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. Oh, I thought you did it just to get girls
02:16Joke's on you it worked
02:19Now they found anyone to replace him no not yet, and it won't be easy Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist
02:26You know who'd make a great professor proton?
02:29Meryl Streep
02:32She's not a scientist then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone
02:40It would be nice if they cast a woman you've already got dr. Who and the Ghostbusters leave us something
02:49Well this party's a disaster don't blame the party
02:52You know how many favors had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman
02:57Is that Wonder Woman
03:01Technically it's a Chinese knockoff called happy strong swimsuit lady
03:06Can I take it back? It's a great party?
03:09No, you can sit here and sulk if you want
03:11I'm gonna go celebrate Hallie's first birthday, which I planned with no help from you. What are you doing? It's a bounce house
03:18I'm gonna go bounce in it
03:22You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there
03:27You know what
03:29I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party. I don't need your attitude. Well. I worked really hard on this and you haven't even said
03:36Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you for blaming me for everything. That's wrong in your life
03:42Thank you for walking out on our friendship
03:45You are welcome, and thank you for mocking me for all of these years. Thank you for making it so easy
03:51Why
03:53Are you being such a jerk because you're my best friend and you hurt my feelings well, you're my best friend
04:00You are my feelings
04:04You shot me I
04:09Can't believe you shot me, but it was kind of fun wasn't it it was do it again gladly
04:16Wait now at the same time
04:21Okay this time knees then feet one two three
04:27Sorry, if it's weird Sheldon made me best man instead of you
04:30It's okay. I was best man for two whole days
04:36No one can take that away from me
04:40Except for Sheldon when he did
04:44Although if you want to be a part of the wedding party, I suppose you could be the flower girl
04:51Sold I
04:55Thought Hallie was gonna be the flower girl. Oh, that's much better. Sorry Stuart. You're out
05:02Hey, so it's Bernadette okay with me being made of honor actually I haven't had the courage to tell her I
05:09Guess I should do that. Yeah
05:14Although as made of honor your job is to make my life easier
05:19Damn it a story you still want in on this wedding
05:27Not that much
05:30Fine I'll do it, but do me a favor and unlock the liquor cabinet first
05:36Scratch paper check whiteboard check checks mix check
05:42And here we go
05:48I
05:50Hello mother hi there Shelly you will never believe who I ran into at the barbecue festival
05:56I am right in the middle of some very important work. I don't have time for this right now
06:01Then why did you answer the phone?
06:04Because you raised me to be polite now stop bothering me
06:18I
06:37Hello again
06:39Who did you see at the barbecue festival?
06:42Mr. Watkins
06:45Really you called me and interrupted my work to tell me that you ran into somebody you could plausibly run into I'm sorry mother
06:51I really need to focus here. I will speak to you next week. Okay, sweetheart. I'll talk to you then
07:06I thought mr. Watkins moved to Florida
07:09He did he was back visiting his son. Oh gosh darn it that is interesting
07:16Was it Tommy or Joe? I bet it was Joe cuz he and Tommy had a falling out of that timeshare
07:24Okay, I'm really uncomfortable with him back in that room why he hasn't made a peep all day
07:30You don't get it all the years that we lived together. He drove me crazy the whole time and now he's not
07:38Exactly
07:41Don't look at me like that. It means he did it on purpose. It was a choice
07:47That's like finding out Godzilla could have had Arby's instead of Tokyo. I
07:53Don't think they have Arby's in Japan
07:59Sheldon Sheldon, I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?
08:05No, you're being perfect and you know it would you like me to be a less considerate tenant
08:12No. Yes. What stop messing with me?
08:19Hey, I was wrong there's an Arby's in Okinawa
08:25Hey, what do you think we should open our show with foreign? Dr. Jones or let's get astrophysical. I
08:32Think we should start with something that gets them up on their feet. Maybe Sherlock around the clock
08:38Great. Yep. Let's give it a try
08:46Right, sorry, it's cool. We don't need volume to rock
08:51Instead of blowing the roof of this place. We can gently lift it off and set it quietly down in the backyard
08:56We can't hear you
09:27Sorry, sorry, I'll get her
09:37Be right back
09:42They're remaking your show and they cast will Wheaton as Professor Proton and the worst part is he's not even a scientist
09:51No, the the worst part is I'm sitting on a moist log
09:57We
10:00Have to stop this and protect your legacy what legacy my last two seasons I was on Sunday morning at 530
10:09We were beat by Davy and Goliath. I
10:14Can't believe you don't care believe it
10:20Well, I care a lot and Will Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me
10:26I
10:27Think that's true of most people
10:32Sometimes Amy doesn't do things because she's worried about how I'll react first of all, it's not sometimes it's always
10:40Second it's not Amy. It's everybody
10:44Third it's not news. It's well-established
10:47Yeah, like just now I wanted to get a croissant, but I didn't want to hear you say ooh la la
10:52So
10:54You're saying everyone walks on eggshells to spare my feelings
10:57No, of course not because we don't want to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound of crunching eggshells. I
11:04Don't want my relationship with Amy to be like that
11:07Sheldon Amy knew what she was getting into you think yes, we warned her
11:14Well regardless I can change
11:17Yeah
11:19Yeah, everybody thinks I'm so predictable well tomorrow
11:22I'm gonna show up at work and do something no one will expect wear a baseball cap backwards to prove your point
11:33Yes, but which hat
11:36Gryffindor
11:39Well now that you guessed it I'm not gonna do it
11:42Yeah, you will
11:44Yeah
11:45Just talk to Sheldon he apologized about the tests and asked me to be his best man
11:50Great after all you've done for him. He should have asked you and Amy's your best friend
11:55I'm sure she'll come to her senses and pick you okay. She's not my best friend. We're not 12
11:59She wants Bernadette to be her maid of honor. I really don't care
12:02Sounds like you care. No. I mean it's just annoying. You know we talk every day. We see each other all the time
12:07She's always there for me and basically. Oh my god. Amy's my best friend
12:12You okay, no my best friend didn't ask me to be her maid of honor. I'm pissed
12:21So bottom line what you did was wrong and cruel which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing
12:30So she still wants to be my maid of honor maid of honor hit woman whatever you need make the call
12:35Look I know this is your wedding and you can do whatever you want
12:38But if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor
12:41Then you're an idiot because you are my best friend too late Bernadette
12:48I think if we want to predict the height of the wave we need to use elasticity theory and model the lattice as one
12:55continuous flexible piece
12:57This is fun playing with popsicle sticks
13:00This is fun playing with popsicle sticks exploring ways to store kinetic energy, it's like preschool all over again
13:09Except now if I eat paste it's because I want to not because Craig Schultz is making me
13:15Hey, can I ask you a question is it where was the teacher she was in the bathroom smoking, that's where
13:21It wasn't but I'm glad to see you've moved on I
13:25Was gonna ask if being married felt any different oh
13:29Uh
13:31Not really
13:32Sorry, that probably wasn't the answer you were looking for. No, actually it is
13:37I mean Sheldon and I are in a really great place right now, and I just I don't want anything to mess that up
13:42Mm-hmm. You do remember you're here because he kicked you out of your apart
13:47Yes, his work is important to him it's one of the things I find the sexiest about him
13:55well that
13:58His
14:03Butt
14:06You sure you don't want your spy to do it
14:09What are you talking about? You really don't trust me? You would have Amy stop by
14:13Trust you. Yeah, you were a terrible waitress and we still ask you to get us a snack
14:22Excuse me while I go take care of your baby, then I'll bring you your snack and you can insult me some more
14:28I don't know about you, but I am NOT eating whatever she brings us
14:37Shh let's get you changed your mommy and daddy say they trust me, but they're full the same stuff your diaper is
14:46Yeah, I feel bad well she never really liked me it's kind of nice she hates you now, too
14:52But I'm here for you, and I would never let anything happen to you because your auntie penny loves you so much
15:09Is that her first word
15:13No, no, baby, I'm not your mama your mama's a nice lady
15:17We're gonna go see right now so I can rub this in her face
15:21Do you hear that sucker she called me mama