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FunTranscript
00:00Want to get a little crazy?
00:02What are you thinking?
00:04Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot and make out.
00:10You are a dirty girl.
00:15Oh God, how did he know?
00:18Hello?
00:20Hi Howard.
00:21Am I interrupting?
00:23A little bit, yeah.
00:25Guess I should have called.
00:26Yeah, maybe.
00:30Knock, knock, knock.
00:36Tonight's the night I usually go line dancing with Raj at the Palomino.
00:41Uh-huh.
00:43But he's working with Sheldon.
00:45Yes, we know.
00:47Want me to leave?
00:49You know, whatever.
00:51Okay, I guess I can hang for a little while.
00:54If you're hungry Bernadette, we're going to a terrific restaurant.
00:57Oh yeah, I'm starved.
00:59Spend all day in a bio lab watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents.
01:03It really works up an appetite.
01:07Flesh-eating bacteria and yet I still want to kiss this woman.
01:10What does that tell you?
01:11That you'd be willing to die a horrible death on the off chance you'd get to second base.
01:16We're way past second base.
01:18Right Howard?
01:20We kind of disagree about what the bases are.
01:25How's your work going Penny?
01:27Any acting jobs?
01:28Well, the last big thing I did was this production of Diary of Anne Frank above a bowling alley.
01:33But I think things might be turning around pretty soon.
01:36Great, how come?
01:38Promise you won't make fun of me?
01:40Of course, I would never make fun of you.
01:43Okay, well I went to this psychic who told me that if I cut my hair I'm going to get a national commercial.
01:51Seriously? You're getting career advice from a psychic?
01:55Good job not making fun of her.
01:58She's not one of those phonies, okay?
02:01She wrote a book and has her own website.
02:03Gee, why didn't you say so? They don't just let anyone have a website.
02:07Why are you being such a jerk?
02:09You're surprised your psychic didn't tell you I was going to be a jerk?
02:14Bite me.
02:17Come on Penny.
02:18Why don't you kids go ahead and chat? We're going to make out back here.
02:26I'm sliding into third.
02:30Can you identify our cricket?
02:32Of course I can. I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet.
02:37Not that that's going to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard.
02:42And we're not talking Oxnard at the beach, no.
02:46We're talking Oxnard in the onion fields.
02:51Well, could you look at Toby?
02:53Toby?
02:56What a stupid name for a cricket.
03:00Told you.
03:02It's a field cricket.
03:03Yes, wait. Dr. Crawley, are you sure?
03:06Young man, I've been studying insects since I was eight years old.
03:10You know what they used to call me in school?
03:13Creepy Crawley.
03:15Cruel as that may be, that is not in itself a credential.
03:20Let me show you something.
03:22See that? That's a Crawley's dung beetle.
03:25I discovered it after spending six months slogging through the Bornean rainforests.
03:30While my wife was back home, shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist
03:35who lives on a sailboat and likes to wear boot cut jeans.
03:40So when I tell you that that's a common field cricket,
03:45you can take that to the damn bank.
03:48Because God knows I can't.
03:50That tramp took me for everything.
03:58Well, apparently I was wrong.
04:01Oh, hey.
04:02Hey, what did Sheldon say to you?
04:04Not a lot. Just, that he's a good guy.
04:07What did Sheldon say to you?
04:09Not a lot. Just that we always have the option of going back to being friends.
04:14Is that what you want?
04:16I don't know. I mean, you have to admit, things seemed simpler when we were just friends.
04:22I guess.
04:23It would take the pressure off.
04:25It would, wouldn't it?
04:28So, we'll just be friends.
04:30Good. Good.
04:33Come here.
04:37Come here.
04:48Okie dokie.
04:50I say this ring belongs to the last person who can hold on.
04:53Fine, but can't we go home and start this?
04:55Sure.
04:56Let go of the ring.
04:58All right, it starts now.
05:01You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon tonight on the Sci-Fi Channel?
05:20Wait. My laptop.
05:31My laptop.
05:37Yeah, there's a point when this becomes idiotic.
05:40And it wasn't when we were driving like this?
05:44If I'm wrong, prove it.
05:46Okay. Here's where we derive the mass of the dark matter particle.
05:51No, no, no. You've misstated the atomic weight of the target.
05:53Let me finish.
05:54You're defacing my work.
05:55I'm not defacing it. I'm fixing it.
05:56Give me the eraser.
05:57No.
05:58I said give it to me.
05:59Then come and get it.
06:02Fine.
06:07Oh, Lord.
06:10Dr. Cooter-Pawley is your superior. I forbid you from writing on my board.
06:14You are not my superior.
06:15I am in every way.
06:17Oh, yeah?
06:18Can you do this?
06:24Nice working with you.
06:29I'm sorry for you.
06:48We could always learn more about why people who believe in psychics are idiots, Leonard.
06:52That's Leonard?
06:57Oh, we don't need to talk about that anymore.
06:59Leonard covered it pretty well in the car.
07:02I'm sorry, but facts are facts.
07:05Right, and if you can't understand it, it's not a fact.
07:08No, if it's not a fact, it's not a fact.
07:11Oh, got it. Thank you for educating me.
07:13You're welcome.
07:17How's your fish?
07:18Amazing. Would you like to try some?
07:20Yeah, sure.
07:21Well, the fact is, you can't.
07:24Howard Bernadette, you're both scientists. Help me out here.
07:28What do you think? Want to jump right in the middle of another couple's argument?
07:30Yeah, thank you.
07:34Maybe we should just stop talking about this.
07:36Maybe some of us should stop talking altogether.
07:40How's everything tonight?
07:42Really uncomfortable.
07:45Sometimes, when I feel stifled and want a change of scenery, I use my imagination.
07:51Oh, boy.
07:52One of my favorite places to visit is the two-dimensional world described in Edwin Abbott's mathematical fantasy, Flatland.
08:01I don't want to go to Flatland.
08:03You're only saying that because you haven't been there.
08:08I am now a hexagon in two-dimensional space and can only perceive the edges of other objects.
08:14Oh, boy.
08:17Is that you, Raj?
08:20I don't recognize your edge.
08:22Sheldon, I'm begging you. I want to go to this mixer and I don't want to go alone.
08:27Well, you're in luck. There's a mixer here in Flatland.
08:33Oh, look. There's a sexually attractive line segment.
08:38You should chat her up.
08:39What?
08:40Tell her you're a circle. Flatland gals are all hot for circles.
08:44We should have done this last night, you know? Have a little wine, take the edge off.
08:48Actually, ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction in the nerve cells
08:52and stimulates reuptake receptors of inhibitory neurotransmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid.
09:02Don't talk. Just drink.
09:14What are we drinking now?
09:16Peppermint schnapps.
09:19Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
09:22Because I like peppermint and it's fun to say schnapps.
09:30Hey, Leonard.
09:31What?
09:32Schnapps.
09:35Schnapps.
09:37You're right. Here's one.
09:44Shh.
10:00Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.
10:13Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.
10:39You hit me!
10:41I'm bleeding!
10:44What was that?
10:46Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.
10:50That's my girl.
10:55So, Sheldon, how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
11:13Bzzz.