Welcome To The Family 2025 S01 E05
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FunTranscript
00:00The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:02Two Years Ago
00:12You don't understand.
00:14My dad and I were not going to leave.
00:16We were gonna run away.
00:17Without him, I'm a dead man.
00:19And us?
00:20So, because of you, Raúl rotted?
00:22Exactly.
00:23You're all so stupid.
00:24You can't even burn the will.
00:26You guys, it was useless for you to burn the will.
00:29How?
00:30The lama is going to take everything from us.
00:31And that if we manage to get the money from the accounts.
00:33You guys.
00:34Me?
00:35I'm going to kill the lama.
00:38Unless...
00:41Unless I'm already dead, right?
00:43I already died.
00:44No, no, but you're not going to commit suicide here.
00:46No, let's see, let's see, listen, listen.
00:48We get a body that replaces me.
00:50We put it in the accident that you were going to do with my dad's body.
00:54But two die.
00:55Father and son.
00:56It's perfect.
00:57And where are you going to get another body?
00:59Just like that?
01:00Are we going to talk at the supermarket?
01:01Hey, miss, send us a dead body.
01:02No, no, no, it doesn't matter where you get another dead body.
01:04The important thing is that two bodies crash there.
01:06So the lama will stop chasing us.
01:08This will get us all in trouble.
01:10The only thing I do need is the computer.
01:12For what?
01:13There are all the keys to the bank accounts.
01:15My dad left them to me.
01:19Isn't it the one you gave to Teresita?
01:22Who is Teresita?
01:23No way, Chairo.
01:27No!
01:34Hurry up!
01:36I'm coming, mom!
01:37Hurry up before they get here.
01:38It doesn't matter if they catch us, we're not family, right?
01:41Technically, I'm like your aunt.
01:44It's not true.
01:45My mom is going to kill me if I don't find this computer.
01:48Do you want me to go with you?
01:49It's dangerous.
01:50I'd be fine.
01:51Benjamin and Rolando are waiting for you outside.
01:53Oh, are you going with them?
01:54No, I'm going with them.
01:56Oh, Toto.
02:02You already cut it, bastard.
02:04My cell phone.
02:13Fucking asshole.
02:15Fucking asshole.
02:17Hanna, the dead one is here.
02:23I'm coming, I'm coming.
02:24Okay.
02:25Take care of the cops, the neighbors, and the kids.
02:28I'll take care of this one.
02:29I'll have to make sure it fits.
02:32Hey, Jorge.
02:33What are those games?
02:34And you, Hanna, what are you doing there?
02:36It's dead.
02:37I'm going to have to freeze it.
02:38Come on, Hanna.
02:39Let's have breakfast.
02:40Let's have breakfast.
02:41Let's go.
02:42There it is.
02:43I'm going.
02:48I'm doing it badly, aren't I?
02:50What kind of example am I giving to my children?
02:52And now I'm going to bring another tuna to the house.
02:54Look, you go take care of her, you know what?
02:57I'll make sure the kids don't get in the way.
02:59Okay.
03:00Well, I'm leaving.
03:03Olga, this isn't the true crime you sold me.
03:08It's just pages about the defects of your neighbors
03:10and there's not even a kidnapping.
03:12I'm sorry, but I'm not renewing your contract.
03:15Your books are shit.
03:16Your books are shit.
03:18Your books are shit.
03:20They're shit.
03:23Your books are shit.
03:30What is what?
03:31Take your shit.
03:32Take your shit!
03:36What did you say?
03:38Take your shit!
03:39Watcha, come here.
03:40Watcha!
03:41Come here, mom!
03:44I killed a guy, I killed him, I love him.
03:53What the hell is this mess in Mexico?
03:56No wonder the Uber got canceled.
03:57It's unbearable, man.
03:58It smells like a government scholarship.
04:00Hey, what are you doing?
04:01If you knew where you were,
04:02you should have stayed anyway, right?
04:04Oh, yeah, and trusted a coyote and a chayo?
04:06No, thanks.
04:07I'm not even a coyote.
04:08Coyotes are the ones who love us.
04:10I studied.
04:11I don't care where you studied.
04:12I'm a teacher.
04:13It doesn't matter.
04:14You two are a couple of whores.
04:15You shut up, man.
04:16If Uber found Teresita's line,
04:17I'll break your face.
04:18Don't they yell here?
04:19No, they don't yell here.
04:20Shut up.
04:21You're yelling.
04:22He doesn't know what the people are like.
04:23Calm down, calm down.
04:32Can I have the eggs?
04:33Don't force me to break the eggs.
04:35You always do that.
04:36We already know.
04:37I also want to break the eggs.
04:38It's the same thing.
04:39You're going to end up breaking them.
04:40No.
04:47The pig.
04:51What's up, cop?
04:52What brings you here?
04:54Hi, Moises.
04:55I'm sorry.
04:56I just wanted to say hi to Cri-Cri.
04:58Damn, Cri-Cri.
04:59I'm so sorry, but I can't.
05:02You know what?
05:03She told me she doesn't want to see you again.
05:05What do you have there?
05:06What's that?
05:08Those flowers are what give her allergies.
05:12Tell her to go with someone else.
05:13Wait, wait, Moises.
05:16He's scaring her.
05:18He treats his mom like a criminal and comes looking for her.
05:20What's wrong with him?
05:21And when are you going to give flowers to my mom?
05:24I give her other things.
05:26I give her stability.
05:28I give her support.
05:30Free stuff.
05:34I'm going to the bathroom.
05:37Okay.
05:42That's scary.
05:43I know.
05:44It's shocking.
05:45But I think I know how to get my mom to testify.
05:48You're trash.
05:51I think it's here.
05:52Yeah?
05:53Hi.
05:54We're looking for Teresita.
05:59Mom!
06:00What's up, son?
06:02What are they doing here?
06:08What are you doing here?
06:09We're looking for the computer.
06:10No, I'm sorry.
06:11I'm Barrio.
06:12I know him, Teresita.
06:13The truth is that he was very cool,
06:15and like the Nero Rulo, he left her skating on the street
06:17and didn't even put on a pair of shoes.
06:19And here, his fans and Johnny,
06:21we've been offering him an apology.
06:23And now you.
06:24Why is he talking like that?
06:25I don't know either.
06:26We're looking for my dad's computer.
06:33What memories.
06:38So, what's the plan?
06:40My ex, Alvarito, works here.
06:42He was looking for the bodies of the old men
06:44where I used to work.
06:46And you were here with the dead?
06:48Uh-huh.
06:49Hey, when you're a mom of three,
06:51sometimes there's nowhere to go.
06:52Oh, who would've thought?
06:54I thought you were very frigid and surprised.
06:56Okay, okay, okay.
06:57Let's get to the plan.
06:58You stay here, okay?
06:59Let's get started.
07:00Yes, thank you.
07:01Let's go.
07:02Let's go.
07:03Look, the important thing is that Alvarito
07:05doesn't see me because he fell in love with me.
07:08Okay, I'll repeat the plan.
07:09We go into the crematorium,
07:10we steal a dead body,
07:11we burn the chickens in their place,
07:13and we get out of here, okay?
07:15Don't play dumb, okay?
07:19Something very valuable
07:20should be kept by Mr. Raul there.
07:22Uh, Raul...
07:23Look, Teresita,
07:24there are some medical studies on that computer.
07:26Okay?
07:27My dad is very serious and I need the computer.
07:29Well, for me, you can leave.
07:31And I hope Mr. Raul gets better.
07:33No, no, no, Teresita.
07:34I made a mistake giving you the computer.
07:37The boy doesn't have money
07:38because his mother,
07:39Mr. Benjamin's sister...
07:41Young.
07:42Young Benjamin.
07:43They're spending a lot
07:44because he's very serious.
07:46He's very serious.
07:47And my mom is a single mom.
07:48Yes, very single.
07:50Your mom is a single mom, huh?
07:53Vale!
07:54Rob!
07:55Oh.
07:56Come here, kids.
07:57One moment.
07:58Come meet these gentlemen
08:00who left you without eating.
08:05Impressive.
08:07At your age and with children.
08:09Oh.
08:10They're not my children, dummy.
08:13They're my grandchildren.
08:15My daughter is a single mom, just like me.
08:17And your grandfather didn't care about that
08:20to leave me without a job, to fire me.
08:23That's why I sold the computer.
08:26But why did you sell the computer, ma'am?
08:28To put up with Mr. Raul for so many years,
08:30his bad treatment,
08:31and the baths of this disgusting pig.
08:36I told you yesterday.
08:37Get the lid up.
08:38And you smell like poop.
08:39Shut up.
08:40Let's see, Rob.
08:41Tell them who we sold the computer to.
08:44This morning, Sakura came for her.
08:46She's a friend of mine who works at Freaky Plaza.
08:48Sakura Maflor?
08:49Where is she?
08:50Freaky Plaza.
08:51I know where Freaky Plaza is.
08:53Let's go.
08:54Follow me.
08:56Look.
08:57That's Alvarito.
08:58Where?
08:59Did you think you were in Urgida?
09:01Look who's talking.
09:02The one who took Raul.
09:03But he had money.
09:05Let's see.
09:06How do we do this?
09:07There's the crematorium.
09:08The door over there.
09:09Okay.
09:10I have an idea.
09:11You go to the door of the crematorium.
09:13And get ready.
09:14I'm going to distract him.
09:15Okay.
09:16Check this out.
09:17Go.
09:18Oh.
09:19I'm so sorry for what happened.
09:23I'm so sorry for what happened.
09:26My deepest condolences.
09:28Oh, how sad.
09:30My deepest condolences, Lord.
09:33I'm so sorry.
09:37I'm sorry.
09:38I'm sorry.
09:39Help.
09:40Help.
09:41My husband.
09:42Help.
09:43Let's go.
09:44Let's go.
09:53Let's go.
09:55Okay.
09:56♪♪
10:06-♪♪
10:14-¡Qué feo el lugar de ver eso!
10:16¡Qué horror!
10:17¡No puedo creer que aquí te entregabas!
10:20¡Ay!
10:22¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:23¿Y ahora qué hacemos?
10:25¡Cállate!
10:26¡Cállate!
10:27¡Cállate!
10:28¡Cállate!
10:29¡Cállate!
10:30¡Ay, mi amor!
10:31¡Señora!
10:32¿Qué?
10:33¡Señora, no puede estar aquí!
10:34¡Señora, no puede estar aquí!
10:36¡Acompáñame a la sala!
10:37¡No puede estar aquí!
10:38¡Déjeme despedirme!
10:40¡Por última vez!
10:41¡No le pasó nada!
10:42¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:43-¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:44-¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:45-¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:46-¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:47¡Ay, Dios mío!
10:49¿Qué queda?
10:50¿Es el tritón?
10:52No, ya ha quedado.
10:53Ya estoy cansado de estar sin trabajar
10:59Y eso lo pido
11:02Una oportunidad
11:04Una oportunidad
11:06Y yo busco la respuesta
11:12En un radio viejo
11:15Y en un cha-cha-cha
11:17Cha-cha-cha
11:18Y suena, y suena, y suena mi escalador
11:22Y suena, y suena
11:30¿Sakura?
11:31¡Hola!
11:32¿Pregunta en precio?
11:33Arigato
11:34Estamos buscando una laptop
11:35Ace
11:36Sí, de hecho, te la trajeron hace no mucho
11:38Las que acaban de llegar están allá
11:41Pues vámonos
11:44Bueno, esta no es, ¿no?
11:45No, pues esta no va a ser, esta no es
11:47¡Cuidado con las computadoras!
11:48Esas tampoco
11:49¡Es esta!
11:50¡Tienen las teclas dañadas y es esta!
11:51¡Joder, no!
11:52Es que estas solo cargan si es el cargador original
11:55Lo único que sucede es su computadora
11:58Serían veinte bolas
11:59¿Veinte mil pesos por una computadora usada?
12:01Ajá
12:02A ver, Avatar
12:03Nos vendes una memoria USB
12:04Pasamos la información y te quedas con la laptop
12:06¡Ah, ah!
12:07¿Qué no?
12:08Agradece que te estoy dando la laptop
12:09Todo esto es robado
12:10Es una pinche rata
12:11Mira quién habla, el señor Cuello Blanco
12:13¿Qué dijiste, pinche?
12:14Mira, voy de tu parte
12:15No, no, no
12:16A ver, tú estás en peso, tu hermana
12:17A ver, dime, ¿qué hicieron con tus dineros?
12:19¡Cállense!
12:20¡Cállense!
12:21¿Qué?
12:22Un par de ridículos, ¿dónde se ven?
12:23¿Llanos a por una computadora?
12:26A ver, un lugar muy sospechoso
12:27Aquí podría haber hackers
12:28Ay, ¿cuál hacker?
12:29Puro taco, huelazo
12:30A ver, silencio
12:32Es muy sencillo
12:33Abrimos la computadora
12:34Entramos al banco
12:35Hacemos la transferencia
12:36¡Y pay!
12:37No, aquí no podemos hacer la transferencia
12:38Es peligroso
12:39Tenemos que comprarla y largarnos de aquí
12:40A ver, yo no tengo bar
12:41El baro mío está en esas cosas
12:43No que sí
12:44Sí, pero el dinero que te quiero robar
12:45Sí, voy a ser una excepción
12:48Puedo hablar con mi mamá
12:49Mi contadora
12:51A ver, ¿qué me dice?
12:52Ahí están diciendo que hay dinero en esta computadora
12:54Entonces, hay que revisar
13:14Hola
13:15Escuchamos tu plática con mi tío Moy
13:17Y podemos ayudarte a recuperar a mi mamá
13:20¿Ah, sí?
13:21¿Cómo?
13:24¿Qué?
13:25¿Qué es esto?
13:27Champaña
13:28Chocolates
13:30Langosta
13:32¿Chetos?
13:33Colmillos
13:34Picositos
13:35A mi mamá le encantan
13:37Un duvalín de fresa
13:38Un nugget de nueve
13:40Y salsa barbecue
13:41Un mantel de cuadritos
13:42Una canasta
13:44Creo que ya sé qué es lo que están planeando
13:47Déjalo en la puerta en una hora
13:49Pero no toques el timbre
13:51Para no arruinar la sorpresa
13:52Solo déjalo ahí
13:53Gracias
13:57Oigan
13:59¿Por qué están haciendo esto por mí?
14:01Porque...
14:04Queremos...
14:05Un papi
14:12¿Cuánto te falta, Yakimeshi?
14:14Solo prenderla
14:15Ya estoy terminando
14:16Pues apúrate, niña rata
14:18Ajá
14:19Ajá, ¿qué?
14:20Pobre pendejo
14:21No sabe lo que vamos a hacer
14:23Oye, no
14:24¡Nos están robando! ¡Nos están robando!
14:25¡Te dije!
14:26¡No, no, no!
14:28¡Agarren esos rojos!
14:29¡Llévanlo a la computadora!
14:30¡Déjame ir!
14:32¡Toto!
14:33¡Burro!
14:34¡Déjame ir!
14:35¡Déjame ir!
14:36¡Déjame ir!
14:37¡Déjame ir!
14:38¡Déjame ir!
14:39¡Déjame ir!
14:41¡Corran!
14:45¡Toto! ¡Toto!
14:46¡Acá!
14:52¡Sí, chingue! ¡No me lo pases!
15:01¡A mí qué asco!
15:05¡Toto!
15:06¡Toto!
15:15¡Cállate, pinche burro!
15:16¡Toto!
15:17¡Tome la computadora!
15:18¡Tirate! ¡Tirate a la computadora!
15:20¡Te mato!
15:22¡Me cago en el pinche Spurby!
15:28Oye, Toto
15:29En la mañana que dejaste tu cel
15:31Vi que te llegó un mensaje de Majo
15:33Y quería...
15:34No, puta madre, eso no
15:37Oye, esto solamente es en lo que dura, ¿no?
15:40O sea, es como un ratito, sacar tensión, divertirnos
15:43Pasarla bien
15:44¿Estamos en las mismas?
15:45¿Salos?
15:46¿Qué es?
15:47¡Ay! ¡Ay!
15:48¡Perdón!
15:51Ahí va, ¿eh?
15:52Venga
15:53Una, dos...
15:56¡Vámonos!
15:57¡Súbete!
15:58¡Voy!
15:59¡Tengo muerte en las piernas!
16:00¡Ay! ¡Voy!
16:07¡Muy buena!
16:09¡Punto!
16:10¡Otro punto para mí! ¡Gracias!
16:12Mira, Tío Moe, ¿qué es eso?
16:14Vas, Jorge, tú puedes
16:15Es que no soy el mejor de todos
16:17¡Au!
16:18¿Estás bien, Tío Moe?
16:20Sí, pero creo que...
16:21¡Au!
16:23¿Prefieres jugar a otra cosa o quieres descansar, tío?
16:28Estaría bien, ¿no? Descansar
16:30¿Qué te parece si te vas a tomar una siesta?
16:32Sí, es lo mejor
16:33Sí, es lo mejor
16:34Nada más no vayan a usar nada de la estufa ni del horno
16:36Sí, sí
16:37De verdad
16:38Nosotros arreglamos todo aquí
16:39Ya, ya
16:40Descansa
16:41¿Estás listo?
17:00¡Moe!
17:01¡Ahí voy!
17:03Ahí voy, voy a cerrar
17:07Agárralo a los pies, yo lo empujo y...
17:18¿Por qué siempre está aquí?
17:21Es elegancia
17:22Hola
17:24Bella dama
17:25Acompáñame, su caballero le espera
17:29¿Caballero me espera?
17:31Sí, otra vez le estás robando los trajes a tu abuelo
17:34¿Pero qué tiene de malo que haga eso?
17:37Nada, te ves muy guapo
17:39¿Y adónde me lleva, joven?
17:44¡Ándale!
17:45Llegas a tiempo, tío Moe
17:46Ya está lista la cena, vas
17:49¿Y esto?
17:50No sé
17:51¿Qué onda, Jana? ¿Qué se traen?
17:52¿Qué es esto?
17:53Pues, ¿qué más?
17:54Desorganizamos un picnic bajo las estrellas
17:56¿Cómo? ¿Tú cómo lo sabes?
17:57No tengo idea, ¿qué está pasando?
17:58A mí, ellos me dijeron que me iban a hacer de comer
18:01Yo también quiero saber, ¿qué es todo esto?
18:03¿Y tú qué haces aquí?
18:05Es un miserable, por favor
18:06Usar unos niños para ligártela
18:08¿Qué?
18:09¿Yo qué?
18:10A ver, marihuana, si no puedes pagar un picnic, ¿cómo vas a mantener unos niños?
18:13Yo cuido a estos niños toda su vida, pendejo
18:15¿Qué vas a andar cuidando, por favor? No digas pendejadas
18:18¿Qué? ¿Qué?
18:19Oigan, oigan, oigan
18:20¿Qué les pasa? ¿Qué les pasa?
18:21¡Oigan!
18:23¡Pérate!
18:24¿Qué te pasa?
18:25¡Lárgate de mi casa!
18:26No, no te voy a perdonar
18:27¡Vete de mi casa!
18:28Están mis niños aquí, ¿cómo crees?
18:29¡Claro que sí!
18:30¿Estás bien, Moe?
18:34¡Oye!
18:35¿Qué les pasa?
18:36Que disfruten lo demás
18:40Lárgate, ya lárgate, por favor, que lárgate
18:45A ver, ¿me explican qué es todo esto?
18:49Antes de que regañes a mi tío, todo esto lo hicimos Jorgillo
18:53Porque él no se atreve a decirte que te amo
18:56No, no, no, son fantasías de los niños
18:59No
19:00Cuando te abraza huele tu pelo
19:02Y te tapa y se te queda viendo
19:04¡Jorgito!
19:05¡Es la verdad!
19:12No había querido decirte nada porque sé que no sientes lo mismo
19:21¿No te parece que lo hablemos luego?
19:23No
19:37La cagamos, ¿verdad?
19:40Nunca
19:42Vamos
19:44No fue nuestra intención, solo queríamos ayudar, tío
19:53Adiós, Watson
19:56Perdón, pero voy a estar mejor del otro lado
20:03¡Ay, no sé, carajo!
20:04A ver, te voy por allá
20:05¡Ay, ay, ay!
20:07¡Se me va a caer!
20:08¡Esperate, esperate, esperate!
20:09¡Ay, mira, mira!
20:10¡Ahí viene Inés!
20:11¡Inés, apúrate!
20:12¡Ya, ya traigo el tapete, ya lo traigo!
20:14Ya, ¿sabes qué?
20:15Yo empujo por allá
20:16A ver
20:23No
20:31Adiós, literatura
20:35Adiós
20:49¿Qué haces, Watson?
20:53¡Ahí está, híjole!
21:03¡Ay, no!
21:04¡Ay, vecino!
21:06¡Ay, vecino!
21:12¡Dale, dale, dale!
21:14¡Ahí está, híjole!
21:16¡Ay!
21:18¡Ay!
21:19¡Venga, venga!
21:21¡Una más, una más!
21:22¡Nos salió todo muy bien, ¿no?
21:24Oigan, ¿y no se les antoja unos jaibolitos?
21:27¡Esta vez sí!
21:30¿Cómo les fue? ¿Dónde está la compu?
21:34Perdóname, mamá
21:36¿Qué pasó?
21:38Es que...
21:39¿Qué?
21:40Es que nos estaban persiguiendo unos furros
21:42y entonces tuvimos que correr
21:44Se nos hundió la computadora
21:46en una pecera
21:48¡No me digan de óleo!
21:50¡Órale!
21:52Sí, vecinos asesinos
21:54¿No que no?
22:01¡Watson!
22:03¡Watson!
22:06Tenemos un crimen, Watson
22:09¡Tenemos un bestseller, Watson!
22:14¿Usted es la jefa del policía Ordóñez?
22:16Sí, soy yo
22:17Su agente es un inútil, un imbécil, un insoportable
22:20de lo peor que hay en este país y en el mundo
22:22Pero no importa
22:23Aquí estoy yo
22:24para levantar la evidencia
22:26Nuestras vecinas, Cristina y Luciana Ruiz
22:30asesinaron a un hombre
23:44¡Watson!
23:46¡Watson!
24:14Subtítulos por la comunidad de Amara.org
24:44¡Gracias por ver el vídeo!