Title: Living Without Illusions: A Lesson on Expectations and Reality || Acharya Prashant (2025)
Video Information: 14.01.2025, Goa
Description:
Acharya Prashant discusses the disappointment that arises when people’s projected values do not align with their actions. The root of this disillusionment is the unrealistic expectation that people are inherently good. Humans, by nature, operate through self-interest and deception, so it is important to approach the world with realism rather than idealism. Finding a workplace that aligns with true values is nearly impossible, as most institutions are driven by hidden motives.
The only way to live with integrity is to create an alternative world rather than trying to fit into a flawed system. Fighting against dishonesty is challenging but necessary, and rather than fearing defeat, one should take pride in resisting corruption. The discussion ends on an empowering note, encouraging a fearless approach to life’s struggles and emphasizing the importance of standing against falsehoods rather than succumbing to despair.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAAnsNE7Xs0MW0Li8Y?si=09fbcbc7c99c469b
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Video Information: 14.01.2025, Goa
Description:
Acharya Prashant discusses the disappointment that arises when people’s projected values do not align with their actions. The root of this disillusionment is the unrealistic expectation that people are inherently good. Humans, by nature, operate through self-interest and deception, so it is important to approach the world with realism rather than idealism. Finding a workplace that aligns with true values is nearly impossible, as most institutions are driven by hidden motives.
The only way to live with integrity is to create an alternative world rather than trying to fit into a flawed system. Fighting against dishonesty is challenging but necessary, and rather than fearing defeat, one should take pride in resisting corruption. The discussion ends on an empowering note, encouraging a fearless approach to life’s struggles and emphasizing the importance of standing against falsehoods rather than succumbing to despair.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAAnsNE7Xs0MW0Li8Y?si=09fbcbc7c99c469b
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00God, man made in his own image. No, the chimpanzees made us in their own image, obviously. A
00:06Krishna or a Kabir is an impossibility. Improbable to the extent I am calling him improbable.
00:13Impossible. Probability tending to zero. But we say, oh, I'm so surprised that fellow
00:18tried to fob me off. You should be surprised when somebody does not try to cheat. And if
00:23you have too many people in your life who you think are good, then you are heading towards
00:27disaster because very soon you'll be shocked. Those who have known man and life have said
00:35the world is a cage. The world is suffering. And then there are the positive types who
00:40keep saying, oh, life is bliss. Life is benediction. Then surely Gautam the Buddha was a fool when
00:45he said, Sarvam Dukham, life is suffering. If people are born free and great, then surely
00:50all the sages were idiots when they said life is bondage. Anybody who has not paid respect,
00:56genuine respect to self-knowledge does not deserve your respect. And if you will offer
01:01respect to such a person, be ready for surprises, very nasty surprises.
01:12Namaste Acharyaji.
01:15Welcome.
01:16Acharyaji, my question is a bit related to the personal struggle. And basically, let's
01:24say if we take today's context, there are so many disturbing events on many aspects,
01:32right? So very recently, Facebook founders had something around fact removal of fact
01:41checkings that created a whole host of opinions. Then we know that Elon Musk and Trump are
01:50going to really accelerate the climate change. Last time, we talked about Gizelle Peleco's
01:58case, which was very heinous. And she finally won, which is good. Also, I was going through
02:07some other news, which were very, very disturbing. And so my question to you, and if I go to the
02:13work side of aspect of life, I see the same thing in leaders. So just to give you a concrete
02:21example, that I have seen so many so-called chief sustainability officers or people working in ESG.
02:29But when you see them personally, you do not see any relation in their own lifestyle with what
02:38values they should actually be standing for. So you see a dissonance, right? Naked.
02:48So my question to you is when you see, because you must be seeing a lot more than what I see,
02:54how do you maintain this balance, that center you talk about? Because I get into,
03:03you know, I lose a lot of time, maybe in examination and seeing if I'm slipping. And
03:13it has been a real challenge. Like on my personal front, I'm single. So I, you know,
03:19saved myself from that, at least harassment, if I can say that. And my relationships with family
03:26is also very leaned up and very clean. So on that side, I think I would say I've done
03:34fairly well, and I'm not troubled. But when I go to a workplace, when I go
03:40interact with the community, or if I see globally, like all three dimensions,
03:47I see a lot of dissonance, and I feel sometimes like very much to myself then. And I lose
03:58a lot of time, a lot of my energy. So how do you practically, you know, suggest some ways?
04:09Because when I see Jiddu Krishnamurti, I went through a lot of his videos, and I saw that he
04:16was in the field. But somehow he gives me a feeling that he was never touched by anything
04:24of this world. At least whenever I listen to him, this is something, along with the words,
04:32this is something he communicates to me. So I don't know how, what kind of a human mind,
04:40and how, like, how was that possible? How is that possible? I don't know.
04:50It might be different from how you are interpreting it.
04:57See, it is not that the way the world is,
05:16the ignorance, the stupidity, the suffering, the perverseness of it all,
05:24it's not that that hurts or surprises you.
05:37What shocks you
05:40is that
05:52adverse things come from people you think of as decent, respectable, and wise.
06:10It is not even for people, therefore, who are
06:16shocking you. It is the expectations that you hold of them.
06:27You think, you assume
06:32that you are entering
06:39a hall full of wise people,
06:45and then in that hall, if you are able to detect somehow two crackpots
06:52that throws you off balance,
07:00just two, and the room had 100 people, you entered the room and you were able to detect
07:10two lunatics there, and that shocked you no end, right?
07:16I entered the same hall containing the same 100 people,
07:30and I see 100 lunatics, and I am not shocked at all,
07:39because I never expected to see wise or sane people.
07:47I know in advance that the one who does not respect self-knowledge
07:58is compulsively going to be lunatic irrespective of how intelligent or respectable he looks.
08:06I do not go by their looks, therefore, or the degree or the social position they hold.
08:23There is only one yardstick, only one criterion that I have, and that is
08:32self-knowledge, Atma Gyan.
08:38Does the fellow know who he is?
08:47And when I look at these 100 people in that hall,
08:53it takes me no time to see that they have zero respect for self-knowledge.
09:02I know I have 100 lunis in front of me, and that does not shock me,
09:08because I have zero expectations from them.
09:14Your problem is you have still not been able to wrap your head around this simple fact.
09:24You still continue to hold very unrealistic expectations.
09:32Your expectation is if the fellow is a Chief Sustainability Officer,
09:37he ought to be at least a semi-decent fellow.
09:45I have no such delusions.
09:49In fact, the moment I see a CXO, I know that the top luni is here.
09:59CXO, C-L-O, Chief.
10:09So, therefore, I chill.
10:14I rarely get shocked.
10:19And I have been trying to somehow put this across in such a long time.
10:25I remember there was this little camp we organized.
10:29Where was it?
10:30Bombay or Pune, some six, seven, eight years back.
10:33Darius here might have been a part of that.
10:36This fellow gets up and says, you know, the world shocks me so much,
10:41and my own family has shocked me so much.
10:43And no, that was in Ahmedabad.
10:46Dig that out.
10:48So, I replied and that response was both published digitally and in print with the title,
10:56Janwaron se umeedein rakhoge, toh dil toh tootega hi.
11:04Janwaron se umeedein rakhoge, toh dil toh tootega hi.
11:08Janwaron se umeedein rakhoge, toh dil toh tootega hi.
11:14If you hold expectations from beasts,
11:21then a heartbreak is all that you would get.
11:32I have spared myself
11:39the obligation
11:44to hold expectations from beasts.
11:48Therefore, I am not surprised when I see them behaving beastly.
11:57Your situation is different.
12:00The fellow is a trillionaire.
12:04This planet is going to have a trillionaire soon.
12:06You know that?
12:09The fellow is a, whatever,
12:13zillionaire.
12:14Therefore, he must be at least a little intelligent.
12:23I have no such compulsions.
12:27I do not find it necessary to respect or regard someone
12:34just because he is a prime minister.
12:38Or a top corp honcho.
12:46Or a charming celebrity.
12:51Or even a most revered religious leader.
13:02Since I do not anyway expect them to behave sanely,
13:07therefore, it does not come to me as a surprise when they behave insanely.
13:16Now, you must look within and ask,
13:21why do I continue to harbour this expectation?
13:26Because it is the same yardstick you measure yourself with.
13:34How do you know you are good?
13:37You are good, right?
13:41That is what we think of ourselves, right?
13:42We are good.
13:44How do you know you are good?
13:46Because I am well-educated, so I am good.
13:48No, no, no.
13:49If you think you are good because you are well-educated,
13:52there is somebody always better educated than you.
13:57And then if you are good, he is better.
14:00That is a problem.
14:01You look at the others, you are bound to look at the others
14:07with the same eyes as you look at yourself.
14:14I am going out for the Saturday party, don't I look pretty?
14:20If you are good because you look pretty,
14:24then how will you not admire someone who looks prettier?
14:28And then you will be shocked when the one who is outstandingly pretty
14:35behaves in the most brutal of ways.
14:42Then you will say, but you know this one was supposed to be good.
14:45Why was that one supposed to be good?
14:47Because that one is pretty.
14:49Who told you that being pretty is not good?
14:53That one is pretty.
14:54Who told you that being pretty is a proxy for being good?
14:59Because I think of myself as good on the basis of being pretty.
15:05The same basis you apply to others also.
15:07I am satisfied.
15:09I feel satisfied on having some amount of money.
15:14How much satisfied do I feel?
15:15Well, around 33.46 percent.
15:19That's the usual level of satisfaction.
15:22The dissatisfaction levels are twice as big.
15:25So, 1 by 3.
15:31So, if on having let's say whatever is your net worth.
15:38Let's say whatever 10 lakh rupees.
15:45Don't be disappointed.
15:46It's just an assumption.
15:50So, on having 10 lakh rupees, if you feel that you are 1 by 3 satisfied,
15:56then you extend the same proportion to the other who has 10 crore rupees.
16:07And then you say that fellow must be 100 times more satisfied
16:17than the 1 by 3 times I am.
16:23So, that makes him 33 times more satisfied than satisfaction.
16:32How much do you have?
16:33Just 10 lakh rupees.
16:35And you feel you are 1 by 3 satisfied and 2 by 3 dissatisfied.
16:40The fellow has 10 crore.
16:44So, that fellow must be 33.33 times more satisfied than complete satisfaction itself.
16:56But you find that the fellow is terribly dissatisfied,
17:05incorrigibly dissatisfied, irreversibly dissatisfied and then you are shocked.
17:14You are shocked.
17:15Now, why are you shocked?
17:17Who told you to expect that fellow to be satisfied in the first place?
17:22You expected that because you apply that same measure to yourself.
17:32That billionaire must be a terribly happy man.
17:35Why do you assume that?
17:37You assume that because money gives happiness to you.
17:41Just that you do not realize the nature of that happiness.
17:44So, you think you have a little bit of money.
17:46So, you are a little bit somewhat happy and that fellow has so much money.
17:50So, he must be like infinitely happy and then you see that the fellow is acting all mean
17:56and petty in the worst way possible and you are shocked.
18:00But you know, he has so much.
18:03Why is he still acting in ways that would destroy the planet?
18:07Why?
18:07The problem lies in your assumption.
18:12Why do you expect people to be good?
18:15Please tell me.
18:17Who told you that people are good by default?
18:21Why hold that expectation?
18:27People never disappoint me.
18:29Tell me why?
18:30Because I don't have expectations.
18:33Or at least I pretend that I don't have expectations.
18:38I try to and I fail.
18:40The fact is we are born brutes.
18:45We are creatures of the wild.
18:51I was trying to figure out in context of biodiversity depletion, extinction of mass,
18:58extinction of species, I was trying to figure out which was the first species that humans
19:05caused to extinct.
19:07Can you guess?
19:08Which was the first species that humans caused to extinct?
19:14Which was the first species that humans caused to extinct?
19:20Can you guess?
19:29That's far too recent.
19:33It was our own first cousins, the Neanderthals 50,000 years back.
19:41That's who we are.
19:43Even when we had no knowledge, no organization, no resources, we still caused a very intelligent
19:53species to disappear.
19:55A species possibly more intelligent than us, the Neanderthals.
20:04Obviously, much of that is in the realm of speculation.
20:07But reasonably, we are today certain that that's what we did.
20:19Why do you expect people to be good?
20:20We are not good.
20:21We are killers.
20:22We are violent people.
20:24We wipe entire species out.
20:27In fact, it's pretty, should I say, should I say innocent or should I say just rich?
20:38It's pretty rich of someone to say, oh no, I met a really good fellow today.
20:42No fellow is really good.
20:44Only a Buddha or a Krishna can be good.
20:47Others are all turncoats.
20:52You will be deceived, disappointed.
20:57And you will suffer.
21:00Man, by his physical nature, by his biological nature, by his mental nature, he will suffer.
21:10Man, by his physical nature, by his biological constitution, is ugly, cruel, barbaric.
21:27Why will he not destroy the planet?
21:30Especially if you can win a presidential election if you promise to destroy the planet.
21:40We have been fed fancy stories.
21:55We are born good and then the society corrupts us.
22:06Some philosopher who probably never went to Vedanta
22:09quipped, man is born free and everywhere he's in chains.
22:13Figure out who said that.
22:16No, we are not born free.
22:17We are born brutes.
22:19What's the definition of a brute?
22:21The one who is born in bondage.
22:23Your default attitude towards everyone should be of some cynicism
22:46and that does not
22:58preclude the possibility of compassion.
23:01How can you be compassionate towards someone if you do not know his reality?
23:07Yes, there will be compassion between me and the scorpion.
23:14But I will know very well that the scorpion is physically configured to bite.
23:25Man too is physically configured just to bite.
23:29But we regale ourselves.
23:31We hold a totally unrealistic, bloated
23:47and very marvelous image of ourselves.
23:50God-man made in his own image.
23:53No, the chimpanzees made us in their own image, obviously.
24:01Never be surprised when you find somebody acting mean.
24:10We are supposed to act mean.
24:13In fact, you should be surprised when you find somebody not acting mean.
24:23A Krishna or a Kabir is an impossibility.
24:31Improbable to the extent I am calling him improbable, impossible.
24:42Probability tending to zero.
24:47But we say, oh, I am so surprised that fellow tried to fob me off.
24:53You should be surprised when somebody does not try to cheat.
24:59And if you have too many people in your life who you think are good,
25:03then you are heading towards disaster.
25:07Because very soon you will be shocked.
25:13Come to learn of yourself and come to learn of others.
25:17Come to learn of yourself and come to learn of others before you meet a crushing shock.
25:28Nobody is good. You are not good. Others are not good. I am not good. Nobody is good.
25:37Oh, he is talking so negatively. What a pessimistic view he holds of humanity.
25:44I am not pessimistic. I am just realistic.
25:47I am telling you who you really are and then I am inviting you to rise above yourself,
25:58to not to be yourself.
26:08That's why I love people
26:10who expose their meanness, their cruelty, their blind desires without compunction.
26:30My problem is with people who pretend and project goodness.
26:40By the time you hit 15,
26:49you should have come to a clear realization that goodness does not exist by nature.
27:04That goodness is something that can come only when you diligently cultivate it.
27:10It should have been clear.
27:17And when it becomes clear, then you do not fall prey to all kinds of deceivers and manipulators
27:28who pretend to be good.
27:30Let me give you one more reason, a final one, why we are deceived by others. I'll tell you why.
27:42And I'll give you an example that does not personally apply to you. So,
27:45you know, nobody will be offended. You're single, right?
27:48Yes. So, that fellow believes in a particular political ideology, speaks in a particular way,
28:05goes to the church or temple,
28:07every Saturday or Sunday.
28:15I like that fellow. That fellow must be good. Why? He exhibits a particular temperament.
28:22He holds a particular kind of a view. He is a good person.
28:26I like that fellow. That fellow must be good.
28:32Why? He exhibits a particular temperament. He holds a particular ideology. He behaves in a
28:39certain way. He has to be good. And then I come and say, you know, but there is so much evidence
28:46that the fellow is not good. And you'll be very reluctant to admit that evidence.
28:54Let me tell you why. Because that fellow is just so much like your husband or your father.
29:02If you admit that that fellow is a rascal, you'll have to admit that
29:09your husband or your father too is a rascal. And that's why we keep on giving green chits
29:20to all kinds of brutes.
29:28Else you will be guilty of double standards, hypocrisy.
29:39Are you getting it?
29:40Kapoor uncle next door has to be a good man. Why? Because he is such great friends with your father.
29:51And then Kapoor uncle gropes and tries to molest and then you are shocked.
29:59Why are you shocked? Because first of all you thought that Kapoor uncle is a good man.
30:03And why is Kapoor uncle supposed to be good? Because he is a good man.
30:09Because he is friends with your father. In fact he resembles your father so much.
30:16Why can't you accept that your father too is a brute? Because you draw so much from your father.
30:23Because there is an inheritance to be had, an identity to be had, security to be had.
30:30Therefore you will never want to accept that your father is an animal. And if your father is not an
30:36animal then Kapoor uncle is also not an animal. So you will trust Kapoor uncle and be molested.
30:46And we do not realize that all fathers are Kapoor uncles to other women.
30:55Kapoor uncle too is a father to his own daughter.
30:59But to somebody else's daughter he is Kapoor uncle.
31:06So, your best friends, your idols, if they share traits, even the great gods that you worship,
31:26if they display the same traits as some of the worst human specimens you can see,
31:36will you be able to freely call those specimens the worst?
31:42Because if you accept that those specimens are not fit to be called humans,
31:48you will have to accept that the gods you worship, that they too are not fit to be called even humans,
31:55let alone gods. And by gods I do not mean just mythological gods.
32:01Power, wealth, prestige, these two are gods.
32:06People keep giving benefit of doubt to everyone. No, no, no.
32:24No, no, no. The world is good. The world is good.
32:28If somebody is not coming to the Gita, he must be having some genuine problems.
32:34You know why you want to extend benefit of doubt to that person?
32:41Because you too are exactly like that person.
32:44You are not favoring that person, you are favoring yourself.
32:47That fellow dropped out of Gita, he must be surely having some genuine family and financial problems.
32:56You know why you want to be sympathetic to that person?
33:01Because you too are inwardly harboring plans of dropping out from Gita.
33:11If you are sympathizing with the evil, that is only because you too have the evil lurking within.
33:23And when you sympathize with the evil, will you call the evil as evil? No.
33:27Then the evil will be named as goodness.
33:30And then this goodness will stab you in the heart.
33:36And then you will come running, oh my god, something totally unexpected has happened.
33:43What unexpected? What unexpected?
33:47Be very very cautious of people who have a very high opinion of humanity.
33:57Who keep on saying the world is a great place, the world is a good place.
34:02Those who have known man and life have said the world is a cage.
34:10The world is suffering.
34:13And then there are the positive types who keep saying life is bliss, life is benediction.
34:26Then surely Gautam the Buddha was a fool when he said Sarvam Dukham, life is suffering.
34:34If people are born free and great, then surely all the sages were idiots when they said life is bondage.
34:46Anybody who has not paid respect, genuine respect to self-knowledge does not deserve your respect.
35:01And if you will offer respect to such a person, be ready for surprises, very nasty surprises.
35:15Yes.
35:16So, Acharya, I think this part I follow because I am with you for last two years.
35:23So, I think I started to understand and I completely agree with you that life is suffering.
35:30But my question is more around when we go and operate in the world, right?
35:36Because we will have some activities, some engagement.
35:41And this is where I think my question more is because two years ago,
35:47why I came to you like two years ago was because I was battling suicidal depression because from my workplace
35:57and I could see a lot of corrupt practices against which I had actually stood up and I failed, not failed, but I drew the battle.
36:08So, they offered me some money and I left it on the table because that was not right.
36:14And I wanted my voice back.
36:16So, that's how, you know, Gita started and that's how even my position in the battle itself literally changed
36:24because I put all the stakes on the table, which were more, let's say, tangible or something one can count.
36:32And it was an exit from that, you know, that place.
36:39And I don't, I think I somehow was able to at least see the depth of corruption.
36:47And I'm not saying that I am an expert on this, but at least I could witness some parts myself.
36:53So, now this doesn't come as a surprise as much.
36:57But my challenge now, it's like two years, but my challenge is how do I go back and operate in the world, which is more effectively?
37:08Of course, I will never be, let's say, a Buddha, you know.
37:14But I think at least to improve my own self and my own, you know, how do I manifest and express and utilize my life going forward?
37:28So, that's where I think I see that it's still a challenge because it's hard to find a place and it's hard to, yeah.
37:40And when I encounter such things, then I lose my time.
37:45Some days I'm just thinking on this.
37:49Are you talking about a vocation, finding a profession, a workplace?
37:56Yes, that too, but even, yeah, even that, for example.
38:03So, what else?
38:05I think pretty much that.
38:07So, basically, I have not finalized on what should I do next.
38:14I'm like briefly working with a sustainable startup, but I think that's also not something which is good enough for me now.
38:25So, but whenever I interact and engage with people and then I see, okay, it starts on some value system.
38:36But soon, you know, you encounter some of the nitty gritties and you see the same stuff.
38:45It doesn't surprise, but it has definitely become a challenge.
38:49So, that's the only thing I wanted to say.
38:55Then how do you navigate?
38:57I'll not console you here.
39:00It's next to impossible to find a workplace.
39:05That's not working towards an overt or covert animalistic purpose.
39:14It could be a top-notch investment bank.
39:20It could be a strategy consulting or it could be a slaughterhouse.
39:26They are all much the same.
39:29Yeah.
39:30So, I'm not going to just entertain you by saying, you know, you keep searching and you'll find a good place.
39:38That's, were that possible, I would have entered such a place and happily served that place my entire life.
39:47It's not that I was intoxicated with the idea of starting something.
39:54First of all, I tried to figure out if there is something already existing in the world.
40:01Something that I could approach and humbly serve.
40:06And I think I can honestly say I tried to find such a place with all the purpose and intelligence of a young man.
40:19I didn't find any place.
40:23So, I had to start.
40:26You too will probably need to start something of your own.
40:32This world is not a place where you will get easy avenues, ready-made places.
40:39Maybe not entirely impossible, but highly improbable.
40:46Yes, people will talk of their social responsibilities and their divine purposes.
40:52We as a social media company exist to facilitate great conversations so that mankind can be liberated.
41:01We know what you exist for.
41:04Right.
41:06So, don't go by their vision and mission statements and such things.
41:13No great workplaces exist.
41:17Couple of years when I was going through, I think that's when the decision, at least that time, it was clear that it's better that I stop.
41:26At least giving my effort because I could see that my efforts are very dangerous in all aspects.
41:35But the best I could do was that now I see and I don't unsee and I just stop it.
41:41That was the only in my hands that time.
41:45But since then I'm striving and let's see.
41:50One has to create an alternate world of her own.
41:55Do not expect to fit in the pre-existing worlds.
42:02If you fit in, then you will have to go by the rules of the pre-existing type.
42:12If you want to live a life of freedom, then you have to realize that the default is bondage,
42:21which means you will have to start afresh, create anew.
42:27At least that's my experience.
42:31I couldn't find much purpose in the way the world currently is.
42:40So, I had to go through this tiresome but necessary journey of doing what I'm currently doing.
42:54Yeah, even seeing your journey, honestly, it's very scary.
42:58I agree.
43:01It is very scary.
43:04But thank you, Acharyaji, because if you were not there, I think two years ago, I decided that I would physically exit, honestly.
43:14Don't be childish.
43:17Drop all that.
43:21If one has to perish, why not go down fighting?
43:25Yeah, I did put up a good fight.
43:29I think when I met you, only after that, the whole philosophy of fight itself changed.
43:36So, I'm very glad that I at least came out with a draw.
43:43But of course, I could not win it anyway.
43:47One would always be smaller when it comes to resources and all compared to the vastness of evil that obfuscates this earth.
44:01One would always be a little thing.
44:05One would never have the odds in our favor.
44:10But still, the choice to give it a good fight is always available.
44:17Punch above your weight and above your height.
44:22Give them a bloody nose before you're knocked out.
44:27Obviously, you will be knocked out one day.
44:31You will be knocked out. I'll be knocked out.
44:34But before I'm knocked out, I'll...
44:37Chota packet, bada dhamal.
44:42It's scary, it is, but yes.
44:45It's not scary, it's fun.
44:47It's fun. Is it not fun to punch above your weight?
44:50Glory for you.
44:53Fear, to be honest. I had layers of fear.
44:59No fear, nothing.
45:02What are you afraid of?
45:05You are anyway not going to be there for long, right?
45:09Nobody is here for long.
45:12So as long as you are here, have fun.
45:16No better fun than giving it back to the rascals.
45:27Yeah.