A Perfect Couple- Full Movie in English
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ashley Jones awoke one morning from pleasant dreams and found herself transformed into
00:00:29something perfectly different.
00:00:42Retracing her steps, Ashley Jones never saw it coming.
00:01:04Thinking back, everything seemed perfectly normal.
00:01:09As usual, Larry ordered a tenderloin steak, medium, with three russet potatoes.
00:01:14And for Ashley, a plate of spaghetti with marinara sauce, without meatballs.
00:01:31As always, everybody enjoyed the party, Ashley not least of all.
00:02:01We're going live in 5, 4, 3, 2...
00:02:07The town is divided over this controversy.
00:02:12The center of the debate?
00:02:13This tree.
00:02:14You suck.
00:02:15What do you think of the tree?
00:02:16I don't know.
00:02:17What do you think?
00:02:18Trees.
00:02:19Yeah.
00:02:20Uh, okay.
00:02:21There was nothing strange about her work either.
00:02:27Well, I'm not anti-tree, but I'm not pro-tree either.
00:02:31Well, maybe a little strange.
00:02:33And what do you think?
00:02:34What?
00:02:35I just want to know what you think.
00:02:36No, you don't.
00:02:37Yes, I do.
00:02:38What do you think about the tree?
00:02:39Well, I think in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.
00:02:40Ask her to elaborate.
00:02:41Can you elaborate?
00:02:42What's one tree in the span of our planet's history?
00:02:43Right?
00:02:44Entire species of trees have come together.
00:02:45I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:46I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:47I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:48I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:49I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:50I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:51I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:52I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:53I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:54I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:55I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:56I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:57I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:58I mean, look at this tree.
00:02:59I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:00I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:01I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:02I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:03I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:04I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:05I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:06I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:07I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:08I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:09I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:10I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:11I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:12I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:13I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:14I mean, look at this tree.
00:03:16You must have seen a lot of interesting things.
00:03:18Yeah.
00:03:19What's the most interesting thing she's ever seen?
00:03:22Wow.
00:03:23I never really...
00:03:26That's a great question.
00:03:28I mean, after living for 500,000 years,
00:03:31you've seen through so much technological...
00:03:33What?
00:03:34What did she just say?
00:03:35What did you say?
00:03:36About the extinct tree?
00:03:37Did she just say she's 500,000...
00:03:39Thousand years old?
00:03:41Oh.
00:03:42Well, I will be 500,000.
00:03:44In two weeks?
00:03:45Ask her who built the pyramids.
00:03:46Oh, gosh.
00:03:47What was his name?
00:03:48This bald guy.
00:03:49He was a complete jerk.
00:03:51Wow.
00:03:52Is this woman out of her mind?
00:03:54Is this supposed to be about the tree?
00:03:56Oh, I thought we moved past that,
00:03:58but we can keep talking about it if you want.
00:04:00Repeat after me.
00:04:01I don't think I should.
00:04:03Oh.
00:04:04Yeah.
00:04:06Me neither.
00:04:08I gotta go.
00:04:10Okay.
00:04:12This is Action News Live from Santa Norma, California.
00:04:16My name is Ashley Jones.
00:04:17Back to you, Jim.
00:04:29I love coming here.
00:04:31I know.
00:04:33Their yearly vacation had also been the same as ever.
00:04:36I put a reservation in for tonight.
00:04:38Our normal table.
00:04:40Of course.
00:04:46Howdy.
00:04:47And a good evening.
00:04:48Are we ready to order?
00:04:49Yes.
00:04:50As usual, Larry ordered a tenderloin steak,
00:04:53medium, with three russet potatoes,
00:04:55and a plate of spaghetti with marinara sauce for Ashley.
00:04:59And meatballs.
00:05:00I know.
00:05:03This guy.
00:05:04Funny.
00:05:12It's so nice to finally meet you, Larry.
00:05:15I'm Ashley.
00:05:16Ashley.
00:05:18That's a perfectly normal name.
00:05:20Do you like when things are normal?
00:05:23I do.
00:05:25I think the best thing in the world is normalcy.
00:05:28Normalcy?
00:05:30I think the best thing in the world is normalcy.
00:05:32Normalcy?
00:05:33Isn't the word normality?
00:05:35But everybody says normalcy,
00:05:37so saying normality would be an abnormalcy.
00:05:41But isn't the rule that only words that end in the letter T get a suffix that...
00:05:46No.
00:05:47It's normalcy.
00:05:49Because saying it is normal and normal is right.
00:05:52Right?
00:05:55Ashley was shocked to realize that she knew normalcy was wrong.
00:05:59And yet something about it seemed so right.
00:06:04Normal.
00:06:06Yeah, that sounds right.
00:06:10To normalcy.
00:06:12To normalcy.
00:06:13To normalcy.
00:06:15Good evening.
00:06:16Today the chef's specials are a tenderloin potatoes and a spaghetti marinara.
00:06:24That sounds great.
00:06:26Excellent choice.
00:06:28You know, I could see myself coming back to this place.
00:06:34Me too.
00:06:37Yeah.
00:06:39Me too.
00:06:42Yes, the perfectly normal life was sweet for Ashley.
00:06:46And you may well ask, would everything be okay?
00:06:49Is everything still okay?
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:52It's great.
00:06:53It wasn't.
00:06:55Something was going to happen.
00:06:57Something terrible.
00:07:05I was really rooting for you.
00:07:07But we have to think about the ratings.
00:07:12But it wasn't that.
00:07:20It wasn't that.
00:07:26You only have ten minutes to live.
00:07:31No, the reality was much more grim.
00:07:36Like I said, Ashley Jones awoke one morning from pleasant dreams to find herself transformed into something perfectly different.
00:07:45Are you in bed?
00:07:51No.
00:07:54I have multiple things to do.
00:08:02Multiple things?
00:08:06The reason that Ashley woke up with a Japanese accent was unclear.
00:08:10Wait, what?
00:08:12What did you just say?
00:08:15Nothing.
00:08:18What was clear, however, was that Larry could never find out about this.
00:08:42Okay.
00:09:04It was called foreign accent syndrome.
00:09:07A rare disorder that could suddenly and totally change a speaker's voice.
00:09:12And Ashley definitely had it.
00:09:16Probably.
00:09:19Well, your tests indicate no abnormalities.
00:09:22Could you walk me through what happened again?
00:09:26I woke up and I'm different.
00:09:30I see.
00:09:32Do you treat this all the time?
00:09:34Well, not personally.
00:09:36I have heard of similar cases, but yours just doesn't seem to fit.
00:09:45Have you been hit on the head recently?
00:09:48No.
00:09:50Well, without any clear cause, I can't make any specific recommendation.
00:09:57But I think speech therapy could possibly help your situation.
00:10:01Are we back to normal?
00:10:02We'll have to wait and see.
00:10:04Maybe it all makes sense somehow.
00:10:06Oh.
00:10:11In other news, tempers flared at last night's city council meeting.
00:10:15Ongoing talks have broken down at the mayor's controversial Friday deadline for the decision on the fate of the tree.
00:10:22Remember to shape your vowels.
00:10:24Watch your mouth when you shape them.
00:10:26How was it?
00:10:27Do I sound normal?
00:10:28Well, let's try it again.
00:10:32In all other news, tempers flared.
00:10:39I don't know. She's never late.
00:10:41Yeah, but what about the weather?
00:10:44Oh, yeah, right.
00:10:49It's Bruce.
00:10:50Hello, this is Dr. Cunningham.
00:10:52I regret to inform you that we're finding Ms. Jones' illness to be stubbornly persisting.
00:10:58Do you have a time frame for her recovery?
00:11:00Not as of yet, no.
00:11:02We're still monitoring the situation.
00:11:04We've already had to bump back her interview with the mayor twice.
00:11:07Can I speak with her?
00:11:08Well, frankly, it's nothing too serious.
00:11:11However, I do recommend continued rest.
00:11:15Well, I'm sure you know what's best, doctor.
00:11:18Thanks for letting me know.
00:11:19Not at all, sir.
00:11:20You have a great day.
00:11:23Can I have my $20 now, lady?
00:11:25Don't spend it on drugs.
00:11:26I'm not going to spend it on drugs.
00:11:28You won't spend it on drugs.
00:11:35Is everything still perfectly normal, sir?
00:11:37What?
00:11:39Oh.
00:11:46There you are.
00:11:49Did work hold you up again?
00:11:51Mm-hmm.
00:11:52Good.
00:11:54Because that's perfectly normal.
00:11:59Mm.
00:12:01This steak is delicious.
00:12:07I said, mm.
00:12:10This steak is delicious.
00:12:12Mm-hmm.
00:12:20This is Ashley Jones.
00:12:22Leave a message.
00:12:24Ashley, you've got to let me know about this mayor thing tomorrow.
00:12:27You're my rock star.
00:12:29Let's try it again.
00:12:30Now repeat after me.
00:12:32Greedy goats gobbled up gooseberries,
00:12:34getting good at grabbing the goodies.
00:12:38Ashley.
00:12:39I'm trying.
00:12:42Okay, well...
00:12:46Here's something you might want to try.
00:12:49It's a little different.
00:12:52Different?
00:12:58It was the 4th of July.
00:13:02Seven years ago.
00:13:05We were sitting in the dark of the marina eating a pizza
00:13:10when suddenly I hear this frightening cry.
00:13:14I look and I see a child sinking.
00:13:18I'm sinking. I have to help.
00:13:21Well, I jump right in the water.
00:13:23And just as I pushed her to safety,
00:13:27I was run over by a boat.
00:13:30I drowned.
00:13:32And I woke up speaking something like this.
00:13:36I've seen some dark days since then,
00:13:39but I want everybody of you to know how much I appreciate you.
00:13:43This is the best turnout yet
00:13:45for our Foreign Accent Syndrome Support Group.
00:13:50Hi.
00:13:53I'm Guy.
00:13:55I've been on the street my whole life with the ROV crew.
00:13:59And it kind of gives me my identity, you know?
00:14:04One day that all went away,
00:14:06we were about to do our biggest heist
00:14:09and I slept in the tub that morning.
00:14:12What did I do?
00:14:14We were about to do our biggest heist
00:14:16and I slept in the tub that morning.
00:14:19Woke up in the hospital with this accent.
00:14:24And my gang, they kicked me out.
00:14:29They say I was about no more.
00:14:34Oh, yeah, it is perfectly normal for us to feel like we no longer fit in.
00:14:39Thank you, brother.
00:14:42Hello, hello, hello, gents.
00:14:44Sorry for the tardiness, but money never sleeps, you know?
00:14:47OK, as you all know,
00:14:49way before this, I was a lowly construction worker.
00:14:53I didn't even know what Foreign Accent Syndrome was.
00:14:56I mean, who would have thought that a hit on the head with a sledgehammer
00:14:59would have endowed me with a charismatic accent
00:15:02and a fabulous way of life as an entrepreneur?
00:15:05Let that be a lesson to you.
00:15:07Don't wear a helmet.
00:15:09It's entrepreneur.
00:15:10OK, all right.
00:15:12Everybody good, are they? How's the family?
00:15:14They stopped talking to me.
00:15:16Well, you can't win them all.
00:15:18Well, you can't win them all. I can't.
00:15:20Wait a minute.
00:15:22I think we have a new face with us today.
00:15:24What's your name, darling?
00:15:26Hello. My name is Ashley.
00:15:29Oh, a Japanese accent. That's good.
00:15:33Why?
00:15:35Well, it makes sense.
00:15:37How?
00:15:45So, tell us about yourself.
00:15:47I want to learn more about Foreign Accent Syndrome.
00:15:50You came to the right place.
00:15:52We're all friends here.
00:15:54Good, because I just woke up and spoke this way.
00:15:57You know, it's very confusing.
00:16:01So, how did you hurt your head, my chérie?
00:16:05I never hurt my head.
00:16:07Was it a stroke or did you drown?
00:16:10No.
00:16:12Let me get this straight, love.
00:16:14You never hit your head?
00:16:16No.
00:16:22Becky's beagles barked and bayed.
00:16:24Is this ever going to get easier?
00:16:26Of course. You were doing great.
00:16:29Really?
00:16:31Yeah, and even if nothing ever comes from the therapy,
00:16:36you don't have to worry.
00:16:38No?
00:16:40No. Maybe it all kind of makes sense.
00:16:45How?
00:16:47How does it make sense for me, for anybody else,
00:16:49to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning
00:16:52with Japanese accent or any other accent?
00:16:54How does it even make sense at all?
00:16:57No, I guess it just doesn't make any sense at all.
00:17:02But it seems like it should.
00:17:04That sucks.
00:17:06Can't you see that this is getting you nowhere?
00:17:08That you'll have to tell the truth eventually?
00:17:11Your turn, Captain.
00:17:13Now listen, Jim.
00:17:15You know who killed Patrick and Taylor.
00:17:17But what's more important is you know
00:17:19who ended up with the Golden Lamp.
00:17:21You may think that you may have...
00:17:24You're home.
00:17:27How are you?
00:17:29Is everything okay?
00:17:31Is everything perfectly normal?
00:17:44How about at work?
00:17:46Is everything good there?
00:17:48Everything normal?
00:17:56Stan asked about you.
00:17:59He said that he wanted to say hello.
00:18:04You remember Stan, right?
00:18:07Yeah, you had that really good conversation about the weather.
00:18:12Anyway, he said that he didn't see you on TV much this week.
00:18:17Isn't that weird?
00:18:19Hmm.
00:18:22Do you think that maybe he's just tuning in at the wrong time?
00:18:27You think that's it?
00:18:29Because I would be surprised if he was always tuning in at the right time
00:18:33and then suddenly he's tuning in at the wrong time.
00:18:36Wouldn't you?
00:18:40Anyway.
00:18:42I just wanted to let you know that I'm really excited
00:18:46to watch your interview with the mayor tomorrow.
00:18:59Are you sure you don't want to say anything?
00:19:05No.
00:19:09Okay.
00:19:12Have a good night.
00:19:16Bye.
00:19:32My name is Ashley Jones.
00:19:38My name is Ashley Jones.
00:19:42My name is Ashley Jones.
00:19:52Did anyone follow up on the 500-year-old woman who...
00:19:56There she is.
00:19:59Great to have you back.
00:20:01Everything's on the cue cards.
00:20:03You know what to do.
00:20:05Five, four, three...
00:20:11Two, one.
00:20:25The cards.
00:20:27Just read the cards.
00:20:34So, about the tree?
00:20:37Think of the ratings.
00:20:54Are you sure you didn't hit your head?
00:20:58Yeah.
00:21:01I understand.
00:21:03There's never a good time for this.
00:21:09But we have to think about the ratings.
00:21:14Tiffany will take your place for now.
00:21:17If there's anything else that opens up,
00:21:21off-camera maybe,
00:21:23I can let you know.
00:21:25Okay?
00:21:31Okay.
00:21:39Say hello to Dr. Cunningham for me.
00:21:42Okay.
00:22:00Larry.
00:22:03I'll be out of your way soon.
00:22:06Wanna go to dinner and talk about it?
00:22:13I'm sorry. Please don't be mad.
00:22:17I'm not mad.
00:22:20Not anymore.
00:22:25Am I disappointed?
00:22:27Yeah.
00:22:30We had such a beautifully normal thing together.
00:22:34Now...
00:22:37I don't know.
00:22:39I don't know.
00:22:42I mean, look at you. You're just so...
00:22:53You're just not the same woman I fell in love with anymore.
00:22:57I'm sorry.
00:23:02Larry! Wait!
00:23:06I never intended to hurt you.
00:23:12Look at me.
00:23:14I'm the same Ashley I always was.
00:23:19And I know our love is strong enough
00:23:22to overcome no matter what the obstacle.
00:23:27Ashley.
00:23:29I'm sorry.
00:23:31What did you say?
00:23:33What did you say?
00:23:36I said no matter the obstacle.
00:23:41What is it?
00:23:48Never mind.
00:23:50Obstacle.
00:23:53No matter the obstacle.
00:23:58Oh, it's beautiful to think so.
00:24:03Here.
00:24:08Keep this.
00:24:10I think you need it more than I do.
00:24:25Yes, life was hard for Ashley.
00:24:28Our heart-sick heroine pined in solitude for her lost love.
00:24:32Days turned into months.
00:24:34Months turned into years.
00:24:36And all she could do was remember.
00:24:45Through the long years,
00:24:47she hid herself away from the cold, cruel world.
00:24:50Her only companions?
00:24:52Misery and loneliness.
00:24:54And her children.
00:24:59My babies.
00:25:02My babies.
00:25:17Ashley had become a prisoner in her own world.
00:25:24You suck!
00:25:33Abandoned by mankind and forgotten by the world,
00:25:37she eventually forgot how to speak altogether.
00:25:45She desperately longed to forget the spurning
00:25:48of her beguiling lost love, Larry.
00:25:54But instead, she could only console herself with longing
00:25:58for the moment his pain would finally end.
00:26:03Just a few more breaths.
00:26:06Almost.
00:26:09But first, she had to ignore Tiffany's phone call.
00:26:20Leave me alone, Tiffany.
00:26:22Hold on, Evie. We're just trying to talk.
00:26:24You're not listening. None of you are.
00:26:33No.
00:26:44Donny's Spaghetteria. What would you like to order?
00:26:47Hello. I just want to...
00:26:50Order spaghetti with marinara sauce.
00:26:54Do you want meatballs with that?
00:26:57No.
00:26:58Are you crazy?
00:27:01All right, what's the address?
00:27:0614 Maple Drive.
00:27:09That's $12.99. Should take about 30 minutes.
00:27:13Thank you. Goodbye.
00:27:25Larry.
00:27:27Oh, my dear, sweet Ashley.
00:27:30I bet you look just as beautiful as the day we met.
00:27:33But, alas, I'll never know.
00:27:37Oh, Larry, what happened to you?
00:27:40It just came on so suddenly.
00:27:42The doctors have no idea what happened,
00:27:44and there's nothing they can do.
00:27:46I just... I needed to hold you one last time
00:27:49before the paralysis moves up to my arms.
00:27:52But I'm not perfectly normal.
00:27:55Ashley, do you really think that I could stay away from you
00:27:59and make you feel... different?
00:28:02Larry, I'm really...
00:28:04Don't worry. I'll be fine
00:28:06just as long as I can hold you one last time in my arms.
00:28:10No, Larry, I'm really sorry, but you're too late.
00:28:14You're not the man falling in love with anymore.
00:28:17Come on, babe. The water's getting cold.
00:28:20You got it, stud.
00:28:22Oh, who's this little guy?
00:28:24He's nobody.
00:28:25He's not giving you problems, is he, babe?
00:28:27He's not bothering me.
00:28:29He doesn't mean anything to me at all.
00:28:32But Ashley, oh!
00:28:34Oh, Ashley!
00:28:36Ashley!
00:28:41Ashley!
00:28:53Ashley!
00:28:57PHONE RINGS
00:29:28Do you need any change?
00:29:32KNOCKING
00:29:34Hello?
00:29:42Sorry, I kind of need you to tell me.
00:29:47No, you can keep the change.
00:29:54Keep the change.
00:30:04My name is Ashley Jones.
00:30:12My name is Ashley Jones!
00:30:15CHEERING
00:30:17Go, go, go, go!
00:30:19Go, go, go, go!
00:30:21Go, go, go, go!
00:30:23Go, go, go, go!
00:30:26Just one.
00:30:30Knock, knock.
00:30:32LAUGHTER
00:30:56KNOCKING
00:31:01Who's there?
00:31:02Tiffany.
00:31:03Tiffany who?
00:31:05Oh, my God, I'm coming in.
00:31:10Put your shoes on. Let's go.
00:31:12Where?
00:31:13To the party, remember?
00:31:15The big tree fundraiser.
00:31:17Oh, I'm busy tonight.
00:31:19You expect me to believe that?
00:31:21Um...
00:31:23I can't go. I'm sick.
00:31:27What kind of sick?
00:31:29Um, I throw up.
00:31:32You're going to throw up?
00:31:34Yes.
00:31:36OK.
00:31:39I'll wait.
00:31:46I'm much better now.
00:31:48Oh, good.
00:31:50Want some gum?
00:31:52Sure.
00:31:56How about this dress? Do you like it?
00:32:00Everybody's going to be there.
00:32:02You want to look good, right?
00:32:04I don't care.
00:32:06Ooh, I'd look good in this one.
00:32:10Yeah, Duane will love it.
00:32:14This sucks.
00:32:16If something bad had to happen to me,
00:32:18why couldn't it be some good, bad thing?
00:32:20Why couldn't it be some good, bad thing
00:32:22that's obvious so everybody feels sorry for me?
00:32:25But this, this just confuses people.
00:32:28Because it seems like it should make sense,
00:32:30but it doesn't.
00:32:34Look.
00:32:36I understand why you're upset, OK?
00:32:39It's because your life isn't perfectly normal anymore.
00:32:43I don't like it either.
00:32:45I don't like it at all.
00:32:48But we're going to fix you.
00:32:51And we'll start by getting you a new Larry.
00:32:55And then your life will be perfectly normal again.
00:32:58And we'll all be comfortable.
00:33:00But what if it doesn't go back to normal?
00:33:06Tiffany was shocked to realize
00:33:08that she had never considered this possibility.
00:33:11She was equally shocked to realize
00:33:13that Ashley might no longer be the friend she used to know.
00:33:16And Ashley was shocked to realize
00:33:18what Tiffany had just realized.
00:33:22Let's go to the party.
00:33:24OK. Awesome.
00:33:26Oh.
00:33:28And you have to get ten phone numbers by the end of the night.
00:33:31Ten? How about three?
00:33:32Five.
00:33:34I don't know. I'm confident enough to get five numbers.
00:33:37Then just pretend you are.
00:33:38That's what life's all about.
00:33:40Pretending?
00:33:41Yes.
00:33:42Pretending to be what?
00:33:47Whatever anybody wants you to be.
00:33:52So, you get five numbers, and I'll go find Dwayne.
00:33:56And don't worry, I'll be by your side the whole time.
00:33:59Oh, it's Dwayne.
00:34:00Hey, Dwayne.
00:34:01I gotta go.
00:34:02I'll come with you.
00:34:03No, stay here. Get some numbers.
00:34:06Here you go. On the rocks for you.
00:34:08Oh, thank you, sir.
00:34:09My King and Noelle is coming right up.
00:34:17Hey, here. Give me your number.
00:34:21Right on.
00:34:32So, what made you come over here and talk to me for a bit?
00:34:35And just like that, Ashley realized she owned this place.
00:34:40The party, not the house.
00:34:43The party, not the house.
00:34:45She owned a different house.
00:34:48Here, give me your number.
00:34:49What? My phone number?
00:34:51Yes, your number. Right now.
00:34:53What are you talking about?
00:34:58Who's Dave?
00:35:00Give me the number.
00:35:02Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's with me, bro.
00:35:05Wait. What?
00:35:07Give me your number. I want your number. Please.
00:35:10Okay.
00:35:11Wait, why are you asking him for his number?
00:35:14I have lots of phone calls to make.
00:35:17Well, then give me back my number.
00:35:19Look, I'll be perfectly honest with you.
00:35:22I'm trying to get five numbers.
00:35:24Wait, you're trying to get five numbers?
00:35:26Yeah, I have to.
00:35:28Well, then I'm not giving you mine.
00:35:30Wait, you're not giving her your number?
00:35:32No.
00:35:34All right, you can take my number back.
00:35:36Yeah, it was nice meeting you both.
00:35:41I love your accent.
00:35:43I drive a Honda.
00:35:45You go get us some food, okay?
00:35:47Okay. Meatballs.
00:35:49Surprise me.
00:35:51Right on.
00:36:07Hey, give me your number.
00:36:10Ashley.
00:36:12Larry.
00:36:13Hey.
00:36:14Hi.
00:36:17Ten drawing?
00:36:19Yeah, but it's too rare, though.
00:36:23Oh, too bad.
00:36:25Yeah, I know.
00:36:29So, is anything new?
00:36:33Nothing.
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:36You?
00:36:38I just wanted to see you.
00:36:39Hey, you know, I saw they have another round of stakeout.
00:36:43Uh, I'll be right back.
00:36:46Here you go.
00:36:48Where did you say the...
00:36:50I don't want your number.
00:36:52What is your problem, lady?
00:36:55I don't even know this guy.
00:36:57But anyway, did you...
00:36:58This is a very normal party.
00:37:00Perfectly normal.
00:37:01You think so?
00:37:03Yeah, I love it.
00:37:06Yeah.
00:37:07Yeah, me too.
00:37:09I'm Larry.
00:37:11Hi, I'm Emily.
00:37:12Emily?
00:37:13That's a perfectly normal name.
00:37:15Thanks.
00:37:16It's the most common woman's name in America.
00:37:18Really?
00:37:19Wait, Larry, were you saying to me...
00:37:24I don't...
00:37:26Could I get you anything?
00:37:28Thanks, but I already got a plate for myself.
00:37:31Oh, my.
00:37:32So they didn't have any meatballs.
00:37:37This is my fiancé.
00:37:39Right on.
00:37:45Fiancé.
00:37:46Yeah, you wait in here.
00:37:48I have another big surprise for you, okay?
00:37:50Wait, this is a cold closet.
00:37:51What?
00:37:52Okay.
00:37:54Hey, give me your number.
00:37:56Are you serious?
00:37:59You're very hot.
00:38:02Why?
00:38:03I can't argue with that.
00:38:05So, you're Japanese?
00:38:07You're here with all the Kobayashi people?
00:38:09No, I'm not Japanese.
00:38:10I'm from Island Town.
00:38:20I have a fiancé.
00:38:23Oh, crap.
00:38:34Hey, Jim.
00:38:35Looking good.
00:38:38Hey.
00:38:40I didn't meet you yet.
00:38:42Yeah, yeah.
00:38:45How do you like the party?
00:38:47This party sucks.
00:38:48What?
00:38:52Where are you from?
00:38:54Japan.
00:38:55Now, leave me alone.
00:38:59Awesome.
00:39:00Wow.
00:39:03What city are you from?
00:39:05I don't know.
00:39:06Saigon?
00:39:09Ni hao.
00:39:11Here, allow me.
00:39:15I want to show you something.
00:39:21Ashley gazed up at the stars and realized she was glad that Tiffany had dragged her here.
00:39:26Maybe life wasn't so hopeless after all.
00:39:30You're different.
00:39:34I'm not different.
00:39:36Yes, you are.
00:39:38And I like that about you.
00:39:44I'm Ashley.
00:39:46Dwayne.
00:39:48Wait, your name is Dwayne?
00:39:50Yeah.
00:39:52Yeah.
00:39:54What?
00:39:55I gotta go.
00:39:56It's an emergency.
00:39:58Oh, of course.
00:39:59Yeah, down the hall on the right.
00:40:05Aren't you glad I dragged you here?
00:40:07Maybe life isn't so hopeless after all.
00:40:09Tiffany, I need to talk to you.
00:40:10No, I need you to help me find Dwayne.
00:40:15You have something on your face.
00:40:16Huh?
00:40:17You freshen up.
00:40:18I look downstairs.
00:40:19You're the best.
00:40:24Ashley was being pulled in too many directions at once.
00:40:28Larry had her heart, but Dwayne had other qualities.
00:40:33Still, Tiffany should have her loyalty.
00:40:36Ashley realized that she needed to...
00:40:38Hey, Ashley.
00:40:39I'm glad you're here.
00:40:40I might have a big opportunity for you.
00:40:42The interview that you did with the 50,000-year-old woman was a big hit.
00:40:47500,000.
00:40:48Right.
00:40:49We want to get her back, but we can't find her.
00:40:52If you could track her down, I might be able to bring you back.
00:40:56To my old job?
00:40:58Maybe we could find you something else.
00:41:00A producer or something.
00:41:02Okay.
00:41:03Maybe that's normal enough.
00:41:05Can you get started right away?
00:41:07Well, I got a lot on my plate at the moment.
00:41:11Shh.
00:41:18Hi.
00:41:20I can take that.
00:41:28I need to talk to you about Tiffany.
00:41:30Yeah, and then about the weather.
00:41:31Oh, Ashley.
00:41:32Oh, Ashley.
00:41:33Oh, Larry.
00:41:35Hi.
00:41:36I might get my job back.
00:41:38Touché, babe.
00:41:40So, at your old studio?
00:41:42Yes.
00:41:44Oh.
00:41:45Champagne.
00:41:46No olives.
00:41:47Maybe that's normal enough.
00:41:50If not, maybe we can pretend.
00:41:54Yeah.
00:41:55Maybe...
00:41:56Stay.
00:41:57I've got a lot on my plate at the moment.
00:41:59Let's celebrate.
00:42:01Cheers.
00:42:06Oh, there's some people I want you to meet.
00:42:09Nice to meet you.
00:42:10I'm Kobayashi.
00:42:12Nice to meet you.
00:42:13I'm Hitomi.
00:42:14Nice to meet you.
00:42:20Arigato.
00:42:21Arigato.
00:42:22That's a cute pronunciation.
00:42:25Tohoku...
00:42:26Oh, you're from Tohoku?
00:42:35Arigato.
00:42:41Arigato.
00:42:47Arigato.
00:42:53Arigato.
00:43:00Arigato.
00:43:20What do you think?
00:43:22This woman...
00:43:24Not Japanese.
00:43:27You tramp.
00:43:29Are you serious?
00:43:30Get your hands off my fiancé, bro.
00:43:33Fiancé?
00:43:34I don't know what you're talking about.
00:43:36You said that he's your fiancé.
00:43:38Actually, what does fiancé mean?
00:43:39I genuinely don't know.
00:43:40No.
00:43:41No.
00:43:42I don't know what you did to him.
00:43:45I don't know who these guys are.
00:43:46This guy's looking like a shawty.
00:43:48What are you guys doing here?
00:43:50Everything's great.
00:43:51Just let her talk.
00:43:52Hey, here's my number.
00:43:54You gotta be kidding me.
00:43:55You gotta be kidding me, Ashley.
00:43:56Now he's giving you a number.
00:43:57This guy's going number one.
00:43:58You got this guy's going number two.
00:43:59Guys!
00:44:00Guys!
00:44:04Knock, knock.
00:44:06You suck.
00:44:12And so it turned out, life really was hopeless after all.
00:44:17Hello, this is Jim speaking.
00:44:19Finally, a little luck has had its way.
00:44:21Again.
00:44:22It was time to give up.
00:44:25Sure, Ashley could get her old job back if she found Evie,
00:44:28but she had no idea how to solve this case.
00:44:31And so she...
00:44:32Wait a minute.
00:44:33Believe me, if we shake this thing up right,
00:44:34this thing will square out like apple pie.
00:44:36All you need to do is think like a private eye, Jonesy.
00:44:40Wait just a minute.
00:44:45Hello?
00:44:48This is Detective Jones.
00:44:49I'm on the case.
00:44:55Okay.
00:45:03Finally, a little luck was headed my way.
00:45:06Word came down from the big man that I could have my old job back.
00:45:11But only if I found this broad.
00:45:15She liked to run her mouth about pyramids.
00:45:20Yeah, this would be a piece of cake.
00:45:25A piece of cake.
00:45:27As long as whoever was tailing me didn't cause too much of a stir.
00:45:35I knew the first guy I should talk to.
00:45:38He was a random quack who was permanently desperate for a quick buck.
00:45:43But he always knew the score.
00:45:47I got the goods, doll.
00:45:49But it ain't gonna be free, see?
00:45:53Now you're singing my song.
00:45:55No, you start singing my song, pal.
00:45:58And it better make me wanna dance.
00:46:09After that, he sang all right.
00:46:12The quack sang all right.
00:46:14The quack sang like a chorus girl.
00:46:17He pointed me towards a big old mansion in Hancock Park
00:46:21where the dame was supposed to hang around.
00:46:24The kind of place where people floated in and out like a broken-hearted ghost.
00:46:28Looking for something they've been looking for so long they forgot what it was.
00:46:33But not me.
00:46:34I knew just what I was looking for.
00:46:38This was proving to be one slippery fish.
00:46:42But I knew I had to boat this bass.
00:46:45Even if it meant talking to the one low-down dirty eel who knew it all.
00:46:52This muck seems to be everywhere and hear everything.
00:46:56Always turning up like a bad penny.
00:46:59I'd just as soon break his legs as talk to him,
00:47:02but I needed the inside dish.
00:47:05He said he could help me for a price.
00:47:10It was called the Golden Leopard.
00:47:13He said it was his,
00:47:15but some of the crooks had gotten their paws on it.
00:47:18I didn't care to sow through the details.
00:47:21All I knew was that if I could find it,
00:47:24I didn't care to sow through the details.
00:47:27All I knew was that if I got it,
00:47:29he'd deliver the dame who was causing all this trouble.
00:47:33We had such a beautiful evening together.
00:47:36It is perfectly normal.
00:47:37Everything is perfectly normal.
00:47:38Perfectly normal.
00:47:39To normalcy.
00:47:40To normalcy.
00:47:41Normalcy!
00:47:43No, we won't.
00:47:53Greg, what happened?
00:47:55Talk to me!
00:47:56You suck.
00:47:59The spaghetti had hit the fan.
00:48:01I had no idea where the dame or the Golden Leopard got to,
00:48:05and Greg was dead.
00:48:07I was singing in the wind.
00:48:13He wasn't dead, but he was dead drunk
00:48:16and useless to me.
00:48:22I had to get a hold of myself.
00:48:24I had to think.
00:48:26Who bumped off Greg?
00:48:27Where was the Golden Leopard?
00:48:29Was Doc Cunningham just plain person?
00:48:31But most of all,
00:48:33who was tailing me?
00:48:35Hey, what's up?
00:48:37You need to stop talking, pretty boy.
00:48:39Oh, you think I'm pretty?
00:48:41Turns out, he knew as little as I did.
00:48:44Can I call you?
00:48:45In the middle of this swampy, mixed-up mess,
00:48:48one thing was perfectly clear.
00:48:51I was never going to get it.
00:48:54I was never going to find this dame.
00:48:57There she is!
00:48:59Leave me alone.
00:49:00But, Angela...
00:49:01No.
00:49:02Yes, we did an interview.
00:49:03Do you want to do another one?
00:49:04You lied to me.
00:49:05What? How?
00:49:07You acted like you believed me,
00:49:09but it was all just for ratings, wasn't it?
00:49:12Um...
00:49:13Oh, what? You can't talk now?
00:49:18Sorry for bothering you.
00:49:20Wait, what happened to your voice?
00:49:23I don't know.
00:49:25I'm sorry.
00:49:26I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything.
00:49:29And if it's none of my business, I apologize.
00:49:33Is it like foreign accent syndrome or something?
00:49:37Ashley was shocked to realize
00:49:39that this was the first person to understand her
00:49:42in a long time.
00:49:45Actually, yeah, but...
00:49:46Wow!
00:49:47Sort of.
00:49:48Really?
00:49:49But you didn't get hit in the head, right?
00:49:51I mean, if you had serious head trauma,
00:49:53you wouldn't be up and around already.
00:49:55No, I wasn't.
00:49:57I just woke up this way.
00:49:59It just happened.
00:50:00Jeez, that is frustrating.
00:50:05Yeah, it's very lonely.
00:50:08Well, you're allowed to feel that.
00:50:10But wait, you've got a Japanese accent.
00:50:13That is complicated.
00:50:16I'll bet people have no idea
00:50:18what to think of you, do they?
00:50:22I'll bet there's even people who don't believe you.
00:50:25Right?
00:50:26Well, it's not a very believable story.
00:50:29That doesn't mean it's not true.
00:50:32Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense.
00:50:35Which sucks, because it seems like
00:50:37it should make sense, but it doesn't.
00:50:41Well, maybe you're wrong to assume
00:50:43that you are the version of you
00:50:45that can understand this.
00:50:47Maybe the version of you that can understand
00:50:49what you're going through right now
00:50:52is the one you become after you go through it all.
00:50:56That would be terrible.
00:50:58No, that would be life.
00:51:05Come on, do this interview.
00:51:10You seem nice, and I would like to help you.
00:51:15But I'm 27.
00:51:1927?
00:51:2231.
00:51:2432, okay.
00:51:26So, sorry, you know, I can't do it.
00:51:31The chase was over.
00:51:33It was a dead end.
00:51:35It was curtains for me.
00:51:37Case closed.
00:51:40Um, are you okay?
00:51:44I don't know.
00:51:48Do you want to get some dinner and talk about it?
00:52:10Well, this is nice.
00:52:15Yeah.
00:52:17What do you recommend?
00:52:20I always get the spaghetti.
00:52:23Okay.
00:52:25Marinara?
00:52:27Yeah.
00:52:28Meatballs?
00:52:29No.
00:52:30Oh, why not?
00:52:34I don't know.
00:52:36It's normal, and normalcy is good.
00:52:40Oh, I think you mean normality.
00:52:44Huh?
00:52:46Um, not to be pedantic here, but this drives me nuts.
00:52:50Adjectives that end in a T
00:52:52get a CY suffix when becoming a noun, right?
00:52:56Pregnant, C.
00:52:58Frequent, C.
00:52:59Transparent, C.
00:53:01Adjectives that end in AL get an ITY suffix.
00:53:05Mental, mentality.
00:53:07Real, reality.
00:53:09Formal, formality.
00:53:10Normal, norm...
00:53:11Normalcy!
00:53:16Uh, good evening.
00:53:18Can I get your usual?
00:53:20Can we see a menu, please?
00:53:24Why?
00:53:26I guess we need a minute.
00:53:29Yeah.
00:53:31Okay.
00:53:33Weird.
00:53:34So what else is good here?
00:53:36Tenderloin potatoes are a favorite.
00:53:40But whatever.
00:53:42I'll get the menus.
00:53:47I mean, what else have you tried?
00:53:49Just the spaghetti.
00:53:53How many times have you been here?
00:53:56Well, once in a week for the last six years
00:54:00puts us around...
00:54:03300.
00:54:05So you've been here 300 times
00:54:08and you've never tried anything other than the spaghetti?
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:17Well, what's wrong?
00:54:21You know.
00:54:23All of this.
00:54:27Yeah.
00:54:29I know.
00:54:32I've been down in the dumps, too, before.
00:54:35You have?
00:54:37Yeah, like...
00:54:39When I was in the shipping business,
00:54:41I accidentally imported the Black Death into Europe.
00:54:47I felt like they really didn't take that well, but, you know.
00:54:50I'm sorry.
00:54:51Yeah, not as sorry as the Florentines.
00:54:56Okay, wait.
00:54:58You're not really 32.
00:55:00You are 500,000 years old!
00:55:04Okay.
00:55:06Sorry.
00:55:07I just said that because I...
00:55:09Wait.
00:55:11So you do believe me?
00:55:14Well, if you say so, yeah.
00:55:16It's good enough for me.
00:55:20Really?
00:55:21Evie was shocked to realize
00:55:23that this was the first person to understand her in a long time.
00:55:27A very long time.
00:55:29A very, very, very, very, very, very...
00:55:39Are you ready yet?
00:55:43Could you bring us a basket of bread?
00:55:45Bread?
00:55:48You do have bread, right?
00:55:50For her.
00:55:54Yeah.
00:55:56All right.
00:56:00Okay, look.
00:56:01You should do the interview.
00:56:03Oh, let's not spoil dinner.
00:56:06But if you're really 500,000 years old,
00:56:09you should be true to yourself.
00:56:11Joan of Arc was true to herself.
00:56:14And look where it got her.
00:56:16Steak. Well done.
00:56:18But don't you think you owe it to humanity?
00:56:20Because people want to know that they could live forever, too.
00:56:23Living forever is the worst kind of hell.
00:56:30You should just do it.
00:56:32Why?
00:56:34Because...
00:56:37Because you could get famous.
00:56:42Okay. Nice try.
00:56:46Your... bread?
00:56:51I will have the spaghetti.
00:56:53Oh, thank God. With marinara.
00:56:55Yes, please.
00:56:56Excellent choice.
00:56:57So, two spaghettis with marinara.
00:57:02Right?
00:57:09I'm gonna go wash my hands,
00:57:11because you can't be too careful with the plague.
00:57:16Well?
00:57:20Don't do it.
00:57:23Don't do it.
00:57:30What's the opposite of spaghetti with marinara?
00:57:33Tenderloin and potatoes.
00:57:35No.
00:57:46Could you please just order the spaghetti with marinara?
00:57:51No.
00:57:57What's wrong?
00:58:00I'm out of things.
00:58:03Where's Larry?
00:58:12Did I do something wrong?
00:58:16Of course not.
00:58:18I guess it's me.
00:58:23I don't think you should come in here anymore.
00:58:26Yeah.
00:58:28Me neither.
00:58:31You've changed.
00:58:33Believe me.
00:58:35I'm sorry for that.
00:58:38So am I.
00:58:41So am I.
00:58:45So am I.
00:58:55I love the fish.
00:58:57I love the fish.
00:59:13Well, that was a lovely meal, right?
00:59:16Yeah.
00:59:18Did that fish not agree with you?
00:59:21I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.
00:59:24I don't even know who I am.
00:59:26What do you mean?
00:59:28I mean, am I a news anchor or a fiancé or a detective?
00:59:33Have you ever felt like an older woman?
00:59:38Me?
00:59:42Come and look at this.
00:59:46Tell me what you see.
00:59:49A tree.
00:59:50A tree?
00:59:52Do you see anything more than that?
00:59:54I don't know.
00:59:58A tree.
01:00:00Ever-growing.
01:00:02Ever-changing.
01:00:04Familiar, yet unique.
01:00:09Okay.
01:00:10Let me ask you something.
01:00:12Would this miracle of nature stop being a tree if it lost its leaves?
01:00:17No.
01:00:18Would it stop being a tree if its leaves were a different color?
01:00:22I guess not.
01:00:24No, of course it wouldn't.
01:00:26Because a tree isn't defined by the little things.
01:00:28It's all about what's at the core, you know?
01:00:34You are still Ashley Jones.
01:00:37And Ashley Jones is a wonderful person, no matter what color her leaves are.
01:00:49Oh, you poor kid.
01:00:58I remember when I was your age.
01:01:01I thought I was all grown up, too.
01:01:10Hey, maybe I should do this interview.
01:01:15Really?
01:01:17Yeah.
01:01:19Maybe we'll find out the truth.
01:01:22Maybe I'll get famous.
01:01:24So in the end, Ashley's trap had worked perfectly.
01:01:27She had Evie right where she wanted her.
01:01:41There she is.
01:01:43There's my rock star.
01:01:45It's great to be back.
01:01:47Seriously, it's like our families reunited.
01:01:50You, me, makeup girl, Jim.
01:01:54Welcome back.
01:01:56Thanks, Bruce.
01:01:58Talent's landed.
01:02:00The 5,000-year-old woman.
01:02:02500,000.
01:02:04Okay, this is gonna be great.
01:02:08There she is.
01:02:10There's my rock star.
01:02:12This is gonna be great.
01:02:14This is gonna be great.
01:02:16So great.
01:02:18Just then, Ashley realized she was having a crisis of conscience.
01:02:22What? No, I'm not.
01:02:24She felt guilty that she was doing whatever it took to get her old job back.
01:02:28It's not just a job. It's my life.
01:02:30It wasn't just her life. It was her integrity.
01:02:33Well, that's your opinion.
01:02:35Okay, so then you know that you're doing the right thing.
01:02:38Look, I don't see what the big problem is.
01:02:40Well, the big problem is that she hasn't gone through hair and makeup or wardrobe,
01:02:44and she's on in 30. You're a producer now.
01:02:47Yeah, that's great. That's great.
01:02:50No, that's not great.
01:02:52Why?
01:02:53You're taking advantage of Evie, you know.
01:02:55No, I'm not.
01:02:56Then what are you doing?
01:02:58Um, aren't we just giving a voice to someone who otherwise wouldn't be heard?
01:03:02That's right.
01:03:04Is it?
01:03:05I don't know. This is between you two.
01:03:07Yeah. Besides, this was all Bruce's idea. The wheel's already in motion.
01:03:11Are you honestly saying it's impossible to stop this if that were necessary?
01:03:15Okay, okay. I'll talk to Bruce.
01:03:25What happens if you don't do this interview?
01:03:27What happens is...
01:03:28Shh!
01:03:29Oh, sorry.
01:03:34What happens is...
01:03:37The choice for Ashley was perfectly clear.
01:03:40Look, it's not just black and white.
01:03:42Black or white?
01:03:44I haven't decided yet.
01:03:45The choice was clear. It was time to talk to Tiffany.
01:03:49You have some nerve coming back here.
01:03:51Look, I'm really sorry.
01:03:52Yeah, I bet.
01:03:53No, really.
01:03:54I need you to believe me that I wasn't trying to...
01:03:56Look, if it's not about work, I don't want to hear it.
01:03:59Okay. I just wanted to talk to you about this interview.
01:04:02No! You changed.
01:04:04She might have had something there.
01:04:06Yeah. Larry dumped you and then you got jealous of me and Dwayne.
01:04:10No, she lost it.
01:04:12Lunch order for Tiffany?
01:04:15But I will say this. He's not just some beefcake.
01:04:18He's smart and sensitive and deep and smart.
01:04:22Ni hao, amigos.
01:04:24Tiffany looked for something crushing to say to her amigo Ashley.
01:04:28You suck.
01:04:31Though it wasn't as crushing as she had hoped.
01:04:34Okay. Okay. How about this?
01:04:36Why don't you just go talk to her?
01:04:38Who? Tiffany?
01:04:41I can't. I'm really busy.
01:04:43Well, it kind of seems like you're just using her.
01:04:46No, I'm not.
01:04:54See? She wants to do this.
01:04:58Look, I'm the victim here.
01:05:00I only lost my job in the first place because something happened to me that I couldn't control.
01:05:04But you can control this.
01:05:06Yep. He's right. It's indefensible.
01:05:09Yep. He's right.
01:05:12Don't listen to him. You're getting everything you want out of this.
01:05:15You're getting your old life back. You're getting your job back.
01:05:18Not exactly.
01:05:20Close enough. It's a return to normalcy.
01:05:22Plus, I'm telling you, this will impress Larry. Right?
01:05:26Actually, yes, because I...
01:05:28Yeah, okay.
01:05:30See?
01:05:31What about my integrity?
01:05:33It's not your integrity. It's your life.
01:05:36Yeah.
01:05:40So then your solution to all this is to...
01:05:42You know what? I'm not listening to you anymore.
01:05:44Go for Ashley.
01:05:45You're just trying to ignore the problem. Over.
01:05:47Copy that.
01:05:48No, I'm not.
01:05:50Yeah, you are.
01:05:51You're making the mistake of thinking that not facing the problem is a solution.
01:05:56But conflict avoidance is not synonymous with conflict resolution.
01:05:59Who are you?
01:06:00I'm Pat.
01:06:01You're fired.
01:06:02Oh. Great.
01:06:04Don't you think they might laugh at her?
01:06:06Nobody's gonna laugh at her.
01:06:08It's gonna be great.
01:06:10Really? How do you think it'll make her feel when nobody believes her?
01:06:13She's old enough to make that call.
01:06:15Yeah, and how old is she again?
01:06:18I'm not the one you should be talking to.
01:06:20Tiffany's doing an interview. It's out of my hands.
01:06:22You have ten minutes to live.
01:06:24What?
01:06:25Yeah, the wound on your back got infected, so...
01:06:28Oh, no. Wait.
01:06:30Dr. Cunningham, thanks for coming.
01:06:33Sorry, wrong chart.
01:06:35What I meant to say was Tiffany has food poisoning.
01:06:37How could this have happened?
01:06:40Hey, shouldn't the fridge be plugged in?
01:06:42Who cares?
01:06:44Wait, somebody else has only ten minutes to live?
01:06:49Excuse me.
01:06:51You got your job back.
01:06:53What?
01:06:54Tiffany's out. You're in.
01:06:56Oh.
01:06:57It's all in your hands now.
01:06:59You just have to do exactly what I say.
01:07:02And with that, Ashley knew exactly what she had to do.
01:07:06I'll do it.
01:07:10One question, okay?
01:07:12Look, I don't have time for this.
01:07:14Oh, sorry. Sheesh.
01:07:16One question.
01:07:18What?
01:07:19Why is she doing this interview?
01:07:21What do you mean?
01:07:23Honestly, why?
01:07:29License, everybody!
01:07:31My name is Evie, and I am 500,000 years old today.
01:07:36My name...
01:07:38My name is Evie, and I am 500,000 years old today.
01:07:43My name is Evie, and I am 500,000 years old today.
01:07:48Today.
01:07:49My name is Evie.
01:07:54Oh, are you doing the interview?
01:07:57Yes.
01:07:58Oh, that's great.
01:08:00It's gonna be great.
01:08:01This is gonna be great.
01:08:02That's great.
01:08:03So great.
01:08:05How are you feeling? Are you nervous?
01:08:09I'm okay.
01:08:10Okay.
01:08:12Do you have any questions before we start?
01:08:15I guess not.
01:08:17Not really?
01:08:19We can talk about it.
01:08:21Do you have any concerns?
01:08:23Nah.
01:08:27I mean, how would you feel if they laugh, if they don't believe you?
01:08:34Of course they're gonna laugh.
01:08:35Of course they're not gonna believe me.
01:08:38Then why are you doing this interview?
01:08:42Well, I just thought it would help you out.
01:08:46Okay, in five, four, three...
01:09:05Not again.
01:09:08Not again.
01:09:17Ask her her age.
01:09:25Ask her about her age.
01:09:30Ask me about my age.
01:09:33Okay, listen.
01:09:37There's not going to be an interview.
01:09:40But I can tell you this.
01:09:42This lady is a good, kind, thoughtful friend.
01:09:48Probably kinder than any of us.
01:09:51So don't believe her when she said 500,000 years old.
01:09:55And to be honest, maybe I don't.
01:09:58I know how easy it is to ignore reality.
01:10:02And the easiest way to ignore all of my own shortcomings is to make somebody else a target.
01:10:09So go ahead and laugh.
01:10:14But if we could be all more like her,
01:10:18the world would be a better place.
01:10:22Right?
01:10:23The world would be a better place.
01:10:27Right?
01:10:38You suck.
01:10:43Should I cut?
01:10:49Evie?
01:10:51Hey, do you know where Evie went?
01:10:53No.
01:10:54Wait, didn't I fire you?
01:10:56No, no, that was somebody else.
01:11:01Ashley really was proud of herself this time.
01:11:04She stood up for her friend when she needed it the most.
01:11:07Dear Ashley, so long and thanks for everything.
01:11:10Don't waste your time looking for me.
01:11:13We'll never meet again.
01:11:16But this wasn't the response that she had hoped for.
01:11:19Ashley wondered just what had gone wrong.
01:11:22Of course, Evie said she wanted to be left alone,
01:11:25but Ashley couldn't help retracing her steps.
01:11:32No, meatballs are normal.
01:11:35Really?
01:11:37Yeah, totally normal.
01:11:39Normal?
01:11:45Okay.
01:11:46Okay.
01:11:51Can we order the meatballs?
01:11:53No.
01:11:55The meatballs are poisoned.
01:12:02Seriously, leave me alone.
01:12:08Ashley was beginning to get the hint,
01:12:11but should she really not even try to look for her friend again?
01:12:16Yes, really, stop looking for me.
01:12:20Hey.
01:12:21Oh, hey.
01:12:23Listen, I just wanted to say a couple things.
01:12:26A, I wanted to apologize for being mean.
01:12:30B, I really liked your speech.
01:12:35C, is Duane just a good-looking meathead in a towel?
01:12:43Yes, I'm afraid so.
01:12:46Yeah, I know.
01:12:52Is Duane just a good-looking meathead in a towel?
01:12:57Yes, I'm afraid so.
01:12:59Duane was shocked to realize that,
01:13:02well, no, he didn't really learn anything.
01:13:05But he was good-looking.
01:13:07He's good-looking, though.
01:13:09Yeah, I know.
01:13:17I guess that's that.
01:13:19Yes, I guess that was that.
01:13:24So in the end,
01:13:26Ashley learned that some things drift in and out of your life
01:13:29with no real reason or purpose.
01:13:32And nothing you do, or don't do,
01:13:35makes that much of a difference.
01:13:37But that's what it means to be an adult.
01:13:39You just sort of do things.
01:13:42And the best conclusion you can hope for
01:13:43isn't very satisfying because you can't understand it.
01:13:46And you really shouldn't even try.
01:13:49And then things don't go anywhere for a while
01:13:52until they just sort of end.
01:14:07Hello?
01:14:09Aidy may only have moments to live.
01:14:12Are you sure you have the right chart?
01:14:14Yeah, well, I'm afraid so.
01:14:16Look, I probably shouldn't be telling you this
01:14:18because of confidentiality reasons,
01:14:20but it's an emergency,
01:14:22so I need to let you know.
01:14:24A while back, we diagnosed her
01:14:26with a rather persistent,
01:14:28rather severe delusional disorder.
01:14:31And we've had her up on our psych ward multiple times
01:14:34for repeatedly trying to kill herself.
01:14:37She was here three weeks ago.
01:14:39Ashley was in a panic.
01:14:41She had retraced her steps, but she...
01:14:43Wait.
01:14:51Filling her pockets with rocks,
01:14:54our other heart-sick heroine
01:14:56decided to walk into the ocean and end it all.
01:14:59Which makes sense,
01:15:01because I remember when life first crawled out of there.
01:15:05Aidy!
01:15:08Oh, great.
01:15:10Not again.
01:15:14Can we talk?
01:15:16No.
01:15:18Please don't do it.
01:15:21I stood up for you.
01:15:24Actually, sweetheart,
01:15:26you told everyone that you don't believe me.
01:15:30I said maybe I don't.
01:15:32Okay, so what do you think?
01:15:33What do you think?
01:15:39The doctor said that I think...
01:15:41Ashley, I know what the doctors think.
01:15:45I'm just feeling very old
01:15:48and very tired
01:15:51and very ready
01:15:53for things to be over.
01:15:56Okay, you're...
01:15:58You're allowed to feel that.
01:16:00No.
01:16:05What do you want me to say?
01:16:08I'm not going to tell you what to say.
01:16:11I'm not going to speak for you.
01:16:13I'm not going to say, repeat after me.
01:16:18Listen,
01:16:20I don't believe that you're 500,000 years old.
01:16:23No one does.
01:16:26And I know how lonely
01:16:27that makes you feel.
01:16:29But you're not alone.
01:16:32We could still be friends.
01:16:38And as your friend,
01:16:40I don't want you to do this
01:16:42because I'll be all alone.
01:16:48Do you want to do that to me?
01:16:57No.
01:17:13Happy birthday to you.
01:17:15Happy birthday, dear Evie.
01:17:18Happy birthday to you.
01:17:21My first struggle with depression
01:17:23started when my third husband died.
01:17:25He fell into the La Brea Tar Pits.
01:17:28They have him on display now
01:17:30next to the Mammoth Thrones.
01:17:32Okay, Evie, let's fact check that.
01:17:34You're right.
01:17:36They put him over by the bathroom.
01:17:40Ashley Jones was finally at peace.
01:17:43Perhaps it was time to embrace her new life,
01:17:45difficulties and all.
01:17:47Older and wiser,
01:17:49she could no longer yearn
01:17:51for the comfortable days of normalcy,
01:17:52but instead,
01:17:54she should embrace
01:17:56what life had now brought her,
01:17:58differency.
01:18:00Perhaps Ashley Jones
01:18:02now stood on the threshold
01:18:04of a new world of exciting possibilities.
01:18:06Yes, perhaps a little luck
01:18:08was finally headed her way.
01:18:23Uh,
01:18:25oh,
01:18:27my head.
01:18:35You have got to be kidding me.
01:18:37No, I'm not kidding.
01:18:39It was all strange but all true,
01:18:41and this is the fate of man,
01:18:43to endure the vicissitudes of destiny,
01:18:45endlessly wrestling
01:18:47with the supreme complexity of existence.
01:18:48Then again,
01:18:50why take my word for it?
01:18:52I'm just a potato.
01:19:18I'm just a potato.
01:19:48I'm just a potato.
01:20:04Let me get this straight.
01:20:06You're an American
01:20:08who got an American accent?
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