Video Information: 17.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ How to overcome fear of failure?
~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ How to overcome fear of failure?
~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ What are victory and defeat?
~ How to know real success?
~ How to face challenges in life?
~ How to be fearless?
~ Why do we fear failure?
~ How to overcome fear?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~~~
Context:
~ How to overcome fear of failure?
~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ How to overcome fear of failure?
~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ What are victory and defeat?
~ How to know real success?
~ How to face challenges in life?
~ How to be fearless?
~ Why do we fear failure?
~ How to overcome fear?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:30Please guide us on like how to overcome rejections or failures at a young age because when that
00:43happens to youngsters, they try to you know do things which are not good for them.
00:48It can include a lot of things like suicide, they get into depression, anxiety and stress
00:53like what is the like what they should do in that case because they are being rejected
00:58and fail again and again.
01:11What is it that you love playing?
01:14Any sports you are interested in?
01:15I love cricket.
01:16You love cricket.
01:17Tell me of something that you are just not interested in.
01:22I am not interested in basketball.
01:25And somebody just pushes you hard to become the top basketball player in the country.
01:40And you prepare and train for six months just because you have been pushed to do all that.
01:54And then you go for the trials and selections and you are rejected there.
02:02Should you be depressed or should you celebrate?
02:13So in that case I will just try again.
02:16You will try again for something you have no heart in?
02:21I will try something that my heart goes into in the first place.
02:24So how do you deal with that rejection?
02:26You got into, you went to basketball trials.
02:32And you went to basketball trials just because let's say your family told you that it is
02:37a tradition in our family.
02:40We all have been basketball players.
02:43That's your grandpa.
02:45Look at the huge thing in his hand.
02:47That's supposed to be basketball.
02:51Then that's your granny.
02:55She too was a basketball player, the top one in her village.
03:03So it's a tradition.
03:04You have to do it.
03:06So you go for it and you try for six months and then you get rejected.
03:14Apply your wits.
03:15Is it a matter of mourning or celebration?
03:26That's how you deal with rejections.
03:29You anyway never wanted those things.
03:37So many people write the UPSC.
03:39The fact is they actually never wanted to clear it in the first place.
03:57When I was writing one of these exams, I do not remember which one, one of the All India
04:04exams, probably UPSC, UPSC civil services.
04:09I think my father, he said, right, the number of candidates that are appearing appears to
04:15be in several lakhs.
04:19But it's not against several lakhs you are competing.
04:24The number of seats that particular year had been drastically reduced to 200 or 300 seats.
04:33That's all.
04:34The number of applicants was what, 5, 8, 10 lakhs something.
04:41Then you are not competing with those many.
04:44For these 200 seats, you are competing with at most 2 to 4000 students, applicants.
04:54Because the others are anyway appearing for namesake.
05:02They have filled up the form because their fathers wanted them to or because they had
05:08nothing else, nothing better to do in life.
05:12And everybody was all the time poking them, what are you doing, what are you busy with?
05:21So they filled up the form and now they can respectfully say, you know, I am a UPSC aspirant.
05:33If these people get rejected, why must they be depressed?
05:38You anyway never wanted it.
05:41Are you getting it?
05:45It appears amusingly stupid to not to want something and then get depressed upon not
05:58getting it.
06:02Think of the situation.
06:03There is something that you never heartfully wanted.
06:08Had you heartfully wanted it, there is a great probability you would have obtained it.
06:16The fact is you were pushed into it or you just drifted into it.
06:23Knowing nothing else to do, you just drifted into it.
06:27Some unconscious type of desire pushed you towards a particular target or object.
06:40Your heart was never into it, your consciousness, your discretion was never into it.
06:47And that's the primary reason you don't get it.
06:50Obviously, there can be other reasons also.
06:55But the primary reason generally is that you never put your whole energy, your entire
07:02self into it because that was not something that you loved from your core.
07:17The kind of energy that is needed to uplift life can arise only from a loving core.
07:28In some sense, it is only love that can never be defeated or is very, very hard to defeat.
07:35That which you call as normal desire is so easy to defeat.
07:41You are desirous of one thing.
07:45The salesman displays something more attractive to you.
07:48What do you do?
07:50Your desire immediately flips or does it not?
07:57The same thing does not apply to love.
08:01Because love involves consciousness.
08:06You have chosen something after due discretion.
08:14You are going for something because you know that the thing is indispensable.
08:24It's not just random whim, fad, fetish.
08:31It's a thing of the heart.
08:33I know myself, I know what I need and I have to go after it.
08:39Now, who can stop me?
08:47Firstly, your rejections are worth celebrating.
09:07Those were needless burdens, responsibilities put upon you by authoritarian and deceptive
09:22forces.
09:32Poet Kabir Das, there's a beautiful one from him.
09:46He is not getting depressed.
09:47He is celebrating.
09:50And if somebody else had put this pot on my head and entrusted me with the responsibility
09:59to daily fetch water from some far away well or tank or something.
10:07And my success was to be measured against my quickness in fetching the water and the
10:17fullness of the pot that was supposed to be a determinant of how successful my life is.
10:27If I can quickly rush and fetch a lot of water and make multiple trips to that well,
10:31get a lot of water and do that quite rapidly, then I would be declared successful.
10:38But even if the world declares me successful because of all this pot business, does that
10:45fulfill my core?
10:47Does it?
10:50So one day that pot falls and breaks.
10:57And the poet sings, Great that I have now been defeated.
11:09This was an external imposition.
11:11This is not something I was doing out of love.
11:16An artificial duty had been imposed on me.
11:21You have to be successful this way.
11:23Great that now I have met defeat.
11:27Kindly relieve me, declare me a failure, tattoo it on my forehead and let me go.
11:36I am okay.
11:38Call me a defeat, call me a failure, call me a reject.
11:46Call me whatever you want to, but spare me.
11:49Let me live freely.
11:57On the other hand, if your target is arising from your core, then it is the love for the
12:06target that keeps you going all your life.
12:11There can be no rejection because there is always a continuous attempt.
12:18So how can you be depressed?
12:23You want something so wholeheartedly that you will never stop trying for it.
12:27Now tell me where is the rejection?
12:30Tell me where is the final failure?
12:35And that's probably the only way to live, especially as a young person, to be in love.
12:44To do something only because it deserves to be done.
12:50And it's so lovely, so compelling, so beautiful that it becomes irresistible.
12:57You cannot not do it.
13:00You cannot not love it.
13:02Now tell me where is failure?
13:08So the problem does not lie in defeat or failure or rejection.
13:14The problem lies in the choice of the goal.
13:17Are you getting it?
13:20The question has to be where are your goals coming from?
13:26How did something become your goal?
13:29How have you started wanting something?
13:33How exactly does that happen?
13:36And the quality of your choice depends on the quality of your being, the quality of
13:42the chooser within.
13:45If you are inwardly asleep, then all your choices will arise from very nebulous, very
13:55vague kind of criteria.
13:58They would not be choices in the real sense of the word.
14:07They would be like the toss of a dice, a three could show up, one could show up, six
14:14could show up.
14:15Have you chosen?
14:16It's a blind toss.
14:18Anything can show up.
14:21You have not chosen something.
14:23Randomly stuff is happening with you.
14:28And in biological life, there is only randomness, just randomness.
14:38In conscious life, there is conscious choice arising from a single criteria and that criteria
14:49is freedom.
14:54Randomness has no criteria.
14:55If there is some criteria, it can no more be called randomness.
15:01In internal life, there has to be a single criteria, a single criteria against which
15:07you determine your choices.
15:09What is that criteria?
15:11Freedom, betterment, liberation, growth.
15:15Is this making me better?
15:18Is this widening, deepening my consciousness?
15:23Am I learning something from this?
15:27Am I becoming more fearless out of this?
15:31That's what should determine the choice.
15:36And when your choices come from there, then you can take defeats in your stride.
15:44Then you say, fine, it's a lifelong journey.
15:50It's something I have to continuously do.
15:53It's such a humongous project, it can never get over.
15:56Will you ever say that your love for something has exhausted?
16:03You don't want to say that, right?
16:05So the project has to be an eternal one.
16:11Now, what is rejection?
16:18What is failure?
16:21And it's such an interesting thing, you see, when you make small targets, then you face
16:31failures.
16:34And when you make huge targets, then there can be no failure.
16:38When you make unconscious targets, then there can be failure.
16:46But when you make conscious targets in love, then there can be no failure.
16:55So all failure thing is actually symptomatic of inner sleep.
17:17Is this too fast or too abstract or just too much?
17:29How did you land here?
17:32You have read me, you have heard me.
17:36I've seen a lot of your videos on YouTube and Instagram.
17:42And others?
17:43Shorts?
17:44They are no good.
17:45Shorts are meant to bring you to the longs.
17:46With the longs?
17:47Experiencing.
18:19It's the human being I am interested in.
18:23Not ideology, not theory, not empty lecturing.
18:30I relate to human beings.
18:33So here I am speaking to you.
18:37All this is for you.
18:41The purpose of this is not the enunciation of some kind of philosophy.
18:47The purpose is that you have come here, invested your time, energy.
18:56You should be better off when this whole thing closes.