Aired (December 28, 2024): Ibinahagi ni Ivan sa madlang people ang kanyang naging sexuality crisis na naging dahilan kung bakit hindi niya magawang mahalin nang tunay si Novie at tuluyang naging dahilan ng kanilang paghihiwalay.
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00:00It's not his fault that he doesn't love you, because love doesn't force you to do it.
00:04But it's his fault that you believe the person you love, even if the truth is that he doesn't love you.
00:10But did he tell you the whole truth?
00:14Did he tell you if he really loves you?
00:19Do you really want to kiss me?
00:22Do you really...
00:24Did you really love me when you first kissed me?
00:26What's the real reason? Did he tell you?
00:29Even though we're friends, I don't have the courage to ask him because I'm afraid to answer.
00:38What's the real score?
00:41Honestly, right now, I'm the only one who understands what happened before.
00:52Of course, I'm the one who broke up. I'm the good guy. I'm still a good guy. I'm not a bad person.
00:59Now, I realize that I took a lot from him.
01:05I wish I could give him something more authentic.
01:10Or he could give you what he gave you.
01:13What do you mean by more authentic?
01:15Because now, I realize that I do everything because I need to look like a man.
01:24Why do you keep on saying that? You need to look like a man.
01:28What is your gender identity?
01:31Because I'm gay.
01:39And then, I told him that.
01:43I know. He told me that in the second part of our relationship,
01:50the three-fourths, after the three-fourths,
01:55there was one time when we were on our way home and I was just staring at him.
02:03I asked him,
02:05Do you want to confess something to me?
02:08But at that time, my intention was just to hear sweet words.
02:12Because, words of affirmation, I'm a girly person.
02:15But then, he suddenly confessed that at that moment,
02:20he had internal struggles with his sexuality.
02:25At that time, I didn't know how to handle such a big problem,
02:34or such a big confession.
02:37So, what I did at that time, since I'm a psych major,
02:43You can see signs that you understand.
02:46Yes, and at the same time, I prioritized his welfare.
02:50Because he told me at that time that I shouldn't leave him,
02:54because he had dark days.
02:56What does that mean? What are dark days?
02:58Because, since I was a child, I was forced to deny my sexuality.
03:06Because my family is religious.
03:08Of course, if you're gay, you're straight.
03:11That's what they're telling you.
03:13That's what they believe.
03:15If you're gay, you're straight to hell.
03:17Yes, until my childhood, I didn't know who I was.
03:26Because I was hiding.
03:29I had to hide, because if I didn't,
03:32what would my relatives or my parents do to me?
03:37I didn't know what they would do to me.
03:39My classmates bullied me every day.
03:45I didn't know if I could handle it
03:49if I acknowledged to myself that I was gay.
03:53So, it was very heavy.
04:02And then, during that time, when I confessed to him,
04:06there were other family problems.
04:09Because our family was dysfunctional.
04:18I needed to be able to hold on to him.
04:23And then, that time, I also remember that
04:25I told him that I wasn't gay, but I told her I was bisexual.
04:30Because that was more acceptable.
04:33But the truth is, you're gay.
04:35Yes.
04:37Now, we understand better why it's not clear to you
04:42if you're in love.
04:44Why it's not clear to you what you felt when you kissed.
04:50What's the reason why you're chasing him again?
04:54Now, it's clear that those are your ways to protect yourself.
05:03Because you felt like, all your life,
05:05you felt like you were in trouble.
05:10And that's what a lot of gay people feel,
05:13or a lot of members of the LGBTQIA plus community in society.
05:17A lot of people go through that every day.
05:21You felt so unsafe, right?
05:24Every day, if I need to fight,
05:28I need to be strong because
05:31it's like no one wants to accept me.
05:39It really hurts.
05:46It's good that you're saying that you need to fight every day.
05:49Not everyone goes through that.
05:52Some need to hide every day.
05:56Not to fight, but to hide.
06:01He's the only one who understands me.
06:07At first, you used him to hide.
06:10To look like a man.
06:15Because you have a girlfriend.
06:16So that they won't cheat on you.
06:18So that your family won't think,
06:22Oh, he's not going to hell anymore because he has a girlfriend.
06:25Right?
06:26Yes.
06:27Right?
06:30Because of the hate you feel towards that person,
06:35where will he go?
06:38Where will he go?
06:41What decisions will he make?
06:43I'm not saying that what he did to you was right.
06:46I'm not saying that was right.
06:48Because what we used for our protection,
06:53but we hurt him,
06:55that will never be right.
06:57But I understand where you're coming from.
06:59Why you went to that decision.
07:18I'm sorry.
07:19I'm sorry.