Junior Taskmaster Episode 8 - Balloon Carcasses
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Short filmTranscript
00:00BUZZER
00:02Right, let's go.
00:04Ah!
00:11Can you tape this to my head?
00:12Er...
00:15Call plus call.
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:36Hello, and welcome to Junior Taskmaster.
00:39It's me, Rose Matufeo, and we've done it.
00:41We've made it. There have been 25 kids taking part in five heats,
00:45two semis, and it's all been leading up to this,
00:47the Junior Taskmaster Grand Final.
00:50Oh, my gosh, take it in.
00:51This is going to be the greatest night of your lives, trust me.
00:53It's all downhill from here, OK?
00:56Years from now, they're going to be at their wedding
00:58or the birth of their first child,
01:00and I bet they'll be thinking,
01:01it's still not as good as the Junior Taskmaster Grand Final.
01:05Wow. And remember how beautiful that lady who hosted it was?
01:09I wonder what she's doing now.
01:12So, at the end of tonight's show,
01:13someone will be taking home the prize to beat all prizes,
01:17a lovely statue of my head.
01:19Yeah.
01:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:22Good luck explaining that to your friends
01:24who don't watch the show.
01:26Right, they're the cream of the crop,
01:27they're the angels of all angels.
01:29It is, of course, time to meet our Junior Taskmaster finalists.
01:32Please welcome Anita!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36Glenn!
01:38David!
01:40Georgia!
01:41And Shania!
01:44Wow.
01:46And finally, my intrepid assistant.
01:48I literally couldn't do this job without him
01:50because he is the only one who knows the passcode to that iPad.
01:54It's Mike Wozniak!
01:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:58Thank you, Rose.
02:01Ultimately, of course, this is really a show
02:02about the dangers of danger.
02:04Always steer clear of the top three causes of danger,
02:07which are, of course, accidents, hazards and men in their 20s.
02:12And if you're ever in a situation where you're offered elbow pads,
02:15put them on.
02:17All right, Mike, please tell me what tonight's prize task is.
02:20Well, Rose, for the final prize task of the series,
02:23our survivors have been asked to bring in the most unusual thing
02:25that begins with a J, a T or an M,
02:28in honour, needless to say,
02:29of the Journal of Transnational Macroeconomics.
02:32Although those items can be anything beginning with those letters
02:35and don't have to relate to GDP, inflation or, of course...
02:39foreign exchange rates. Thank you, children.
02:42Tonight's winner will not only take home the junior taskmaster
02:45golden bonce, but will also acquire all five unusual things.
02:48I wish you all the very best of luck.
02:50Let's start with Anita.
02:52What have you brought in for your prize task tonight?
02:54Mike. What?
02:56Mike the Headless Chicken.
03:01So, Mike the Headless Chicken was a chicken who was butchered,
03:06but whoever butchered him did a terrible job
03:09because they left the brain stem intact
03:11and the brain stem caused him to live on another 18 months.
03:17So, scientists were able to discover that a chicken only needs
03:20the heart, the brain stem and food and water to survive.
03:28Wow.
03:3218 months. So, you only need those things to survive.
03:35Well, a chicken. Oh, sorry. Yes, I did get you.
03:38Anita, that was fantastic. Thank you so much for that explanation.
03:41Rather unusual.
03:42All righty, moving on to Gwen.
03:45Now, you made it through all by the skin of your milk teeth.
03:47You got the same amount of points as fellow contestant Scarlett,
03:51so it had to go to a tie-break task, which you can watch online.
03:55OK, what have you brought in, Gwen?
03:57Right, so, the most unusual item, beginning with J-T-A-M,
04:02is toilet paper, but with Mike's face on it.
04:05I want to see this.
04:06Oh!
04:09I mean... Wow.
04:11That's...
04:13Aha!
04:16So, what in particular, why did you choose Mike's face here, Gwen?
04:19Well, I was going to put your face on it as well,
04:21but I thought you might be, like, a bit offended
04:23by the toilet paper's destiny.
04:26Like...
04:29Whereas I would be honoured?
04:32I can't tell what I'd rather wipe myself with,
04:35Mike's face or my own face?
04:39Uh, I think you chose them right.
04:41Enjoyed that, Gwen, thank you very, very much.
04:43OK, now, Jamie, what have you brought in today?
04:45Trousers.
04:46OK!
04:47Yeah. Here we go.
04:49Why are trousers at all unusual?
04:53OK.
04:55Do you own trousers yourself?
04:57No. No?
04:59When you're in public, it's just rained,
05:01trousers are wet, wet legs, can't dry them.
05:04When you're wearing shorts, yeah, and it rains,
05:07they wipe off your skin's, um, wet-proof.
05:12I mean...
05:14Yeah, that did deserve that golf clap.
05:17I believe you will wear shorts in all seasons, is that right?
05:21Is that the dead of winter there, Jamie?
05:23Yeah. You're wearing gloves.
05:27And I'm wearing short shorts.
05:29What do you want to be when you grow up?
05:30You're going to probably have to wear some trousers.
05:31What do you want to be? Football.
05:33OK.
05:35There it is. Yeah, OK, fair enough.
05:37Yeah.
05:39Well, she held the other clothes to size up
05:42in comparison to...
05:43Trousers.
05:45Now, Persia, what have you brought in
05:47as the most unusual item, beginning with these letters?
05:50You get an hour with my pug, McLovin.
05:56Oh, OK.
06:00What's unusual about him?
06:01Many things.
06:03Number one, he poops when he barks.
06:08Number two, his back legs are very wobbly,
06:11so when he falls over, his legs go...
06:14WHOOP!
06:15..into the air, and my dad pulls him legs up, Linda.
06:22Hi, there.
06:23Is there an Aunty Linda in your life?
06:28We have apple trees in our garden,
06:30so in autumn, when they come out, he eats them.
06:32Then he makes his own applesauce by pulling out those apples.
06:37Then he eats the applesauce and makes better applesauce.
06:42Just going to make it clear, if you do win the hour,
06:44we can take him home before the hour,
06:47because I doubt that you're going to want to spend the full hour.
06:49What a prize!
06:53On the floor, thank you so much for your prize task.
06:56Shania, how are you doing?
06:57I'm doing good, thanks.
06:58What have you brought in for your prize task tonight?
07:01So, I have brought in, not a toothbrush, a teethbrush.
07:06Here it is.
07:07AUDIENCE GROANS
07:08Oh, my goodness!
07:12Yeah, well, we want to know whose teeth they are
07:14and where the rest of them is.
07:16They're fake teeth.
07:18Yeah, fake teeth.
07:19Definitely. Fake teeth.
07:21I think one of them has a filling.
07:24They're very accurate fake teeth.
07:27Yeah.
07:28She's moved into legal defence mode.
07:32With this teethbrush, it would be very useful,
07:35because there's always this one friend,
07:37that one family member that you don't really like.
07:39So, like, when they come to stay,
07:42just put this toothbrush in the guest bathroom,
07:45then when they go to the bathroom, just let the chaos unfold.
07:49OK, wow.
07:51Okey-doke. All very good.
07:52It's all final material prize tasks.
07:55Got to say, though, look, trousers, one point.
07:59Persia.
08:00I'm going to say two points,
08:02because you almost negotiated the time down there with McLovin.
08:06It is fun, and it's going to be great merch,
08:08but three points to Gwen.
08:10And we don't have Mike, but it's a rubber chicken with no head,
08:13and I find that rather unusual.
08:14So, four points to Anita.
08:16But, yeah, that is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.
08:20So, it's got to be the full five points to Shania!
08:23Very nice. Very good.
08:24Oh, my goodness!
08:27OK.
08:28It is time now to unfurl that first task
08:31and run it up the task pole, so take it away, Mike.
08:34What childhood memories are conjured up for you
08:36by the word camping?
08:37For me, it conjures up frostbitten toes
08:39on a search-and-rescue mission in the Cairngorms,
08:41i.e. character-building stuff.
08:44So, in this next task, we're making camping memories,
08:46Junior Taskmaster style.
08:48MUSIC PLAYS
08:58MUSIC STOPS
09:00Hello, Gwen. Hello.
09:02How are you? Cold.
09:04Hi. Hello, Anita.
09:07Where did you get your hat?
09:08My mum made it.
09:10Very fine work. With crochet.
09:12Hello, Persia. Hello.
09:14Hello, Jamie. Hello, Mike.
09:16Hello, Shania. What... What's this?
09:20It's a task, innit?
09:22Can I open it? Yes, please.
09:25Pitch your tent as fast as possible.
09:28Your tent must be properly pegged down and zipped up.
09:32Your time starts now.
09:35Oh, God. I don't know how to pitch a tent.
09:38Uh-oh. Um...
09:40APPLAUSE
09:42I do know how to pitch a tent. I think I'll do it well.
09:46You'll love to see it. He's a man of his words.
09:48One of the coldest days, it seems.
09:50And, Jamie, you're still in shorts.
09:51Mm-hm. Shorts and a puffer jacket.
09:53You are a walking contradiction, my friend.
09:55I do want to shout out Anita's mum, obviously, a crocheter.
09:58Has she made you anything else?
10:00Scarf and gloves to match that.
10:02She's making my teddy bunny a scarf at the moment.
10:05And she's made me a blanket, a blanket for her bed
10:09and multiple other things.
10:10OK. Don't need to show off.
10:13LAUGHTER
10:14Yeah, my mum does stuff as well, so...
10:17Fine. Um... No, that's very good. I love that hat.
10:20All right, I'm ready to watch the first episode of
10:22The First Of Our Happy Campers.
10:24OK, let's see how they got on.
10:26I hope there are instructions.
10:29That would be helpful.
10:31Have you ever pitched a tent before?
10:32Nope. I have no idea how to do it.
10:35Ever pitched a tent before?
10:36No. Been camping before?
10:39Uh, yeah.
10:40Who pitched the tent?
10:41My fellow scouts.
10:43You're a scout, but you claim you've never pitched a tent before?
10:45Yeah. What would Baden-Powell have to say about that, I wonder?
10:49I hope he's not watching this.
10:50I don't think he's watching.
10:52Ah!
10:55Ah!
10:57Well, that's fun.
10:59So, I think these are the pegs.
11:01OK.
11:02These go into the ground.
11:05How long does it take the average person to pitch a tent?
11:07That's a very good question.
11:09Do you know the answer?
11:10Yeah.
11:11What is it?
11:12I'm not going to tell you. Oh.
11:18OK, mallet. Mallet.
11:21All right, we'll have another here.
11:22Yeah.
11:23We'll start smattering it.
11:26Whee!
11:29So, zip it up.
11:31There.
11:32OK. Are you done?
11:33Yep, done.
11:34Finished.
11:37I'd say I'm done.
11:42Stop the clock!
11:44Thanks, Anita.
11:46Can I come out now?
11:47Not just yet.
11:49OK, I'll go to sleep.
11:50Have you been camping before, Anita?
11:52No.
11:53How's it going?
11:54It's a great experience.
11:58Your pleasure.
12:00Oh.
12:01Oh, this is alarming.
12:02Another task.
12:06Hello.
12:07We've got a delivery.
12:08Another one?
12:10Fill your tent with biodegradable balloons.
12:13You have ten minutes to fill your tent.
12:15Minus the time it took you to pitch your tent.
12:18Most biodegradable balloons in your tent wins.
12:21Your time starts when Mike blows his whistle.
12:25But...
12:26Where are the balloons?
12:28What?
12:30There are the balloons indeed.
12:33I mean, come on, guys, this isn't your first rodeo.
12:36You know there's always a twist when it comes to Junior Taskmaster.
12:40Now, Gwen, you are in the Scouts.
12:42Is that correct?
12:43Yeah. That's fantastic.
12:44You mentioned that you hadn't put a tent up,
12:46but your fellow Scouts had put...
12:48Yeah. ..your tent up.
12:49Yeah, I'm one of those slackers who just, like,
12:51I watch the people, like, put up the tent,
12:54and I'm like, great job, team, well done.
12:57I mean, you will go so far in life...
13:00..with that attitude, yeah.
13:02Do you think he'll be a Boy Scout?
13:03Do they wear ties?
13:05They actually do, yeah.
13:06That's the one thing he's got going for him, really.
13:08I think of myself as a Man Scout.
13:12All right. As we all know,
13:13the true meaning of any television show
13:15is to fill time between the adverts.
13:17So, without further ado, here's the main event,
13:19a commercial break!
13:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:22MUSIC
13:30Welcome back to the grand final of Junior Taskmaster.
13:34And remember, if you want to vote for your favourite contestant
13:36tonight, text COST50P and count for absolutely nothing,
13:40because that's not how the show works.
13:42Now, what is up next, Mike?
13:43It is time for Jamie, Gwen and Anissa.
13:47WHISTLE BLOWS
13:48OK, where are the balloons?
13:50That is THE question.
13:53Can we go to the shed? We can.
13:55Thank you. Do you have any idea where they could be, Mike?
13:57Oh, yeah.
13:59Can...can you tell me?
14:00I don't think so.
14:02Er...
14:04Hmm. Where else could they be?
14:07Am I allowed to look in there?
14:12It's not in there. No.
14:14Ah! Ah!
14:15Oh!
14:16Oh, my gosh.
14:17It is full of balloons.
14:19I found them!
14:21You've got four minutes and 39 seconds left.
14:24Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
14:26HE GROANS
14:28What's your strategy here?
14:30Get the balloons in there.
14:31Yeah.
14:34Are you finding any of your scout skills are currently transferable?
14:37No, not really. What do they teach you?
14:39You know, they usually teach us how to put beans on a campfire.
14:43Right.
14:44HE GASPS
14:45HE GROANS
14:47I am coming.
14:48I can put more balloons in it faster.
14:50Mike? Yeah?
14:51Can we go to the shed again? Yeah.
14:56That was fun.
14:57Mike? Yeah?
14:59Can you get me some more balloons?
15:00From out of the caravan?
15:02Yes, please.
15:04Can you fill this bucket up, please, with balloons?
15:06OK.
15:07Why don't you help me put them in the tent?
15:09I can't help you put them in the tent.
15:10Yeah, cos you're boring.
15:12I beg your pardon.
15:13HE SCREAMS
15:1521 seconds. 21 seconds?
15:21WHISTLE BLOWS
15:23Oh, they're falling out.
15:26I feel like it went the best it could go.
15:29Thank you, Anita.
15:30You're welcome.
15:33Bye.
15:38Wow.
15:39It seems like you guys all had fun there.
15:41Did you have a bit of fun? Yeah.
15:42Props to Jamie, because you thought of taking the tent
15:45over to the caravan.
15:47What made you think of that?
15:48It's easy to get them in.
15:50Hang on. Yeah?
15:51So, he moved the tent, right?
15:52And, like, to make a tent, you have to hammer them down.
15:54So, if he didn't hammer them down,
15:56that means he didn't do it properly.
15:57Yeah, he didn't do it properly. No. Interesting.
15:59That was part one.
16:01Ah. Part one was to pitch the tent.
16:03Did he pitch the tent properly in the first place?
16:06There's no proper way of pitching a tent.
16:09You can do it however you like.
16:11There, er...
16:13There are a bit of...
16:14There absolutely is.
16:17Er, all right, well, look,
16:18I think it's time for some more balloon action.
16:20Who's up next?
16:21It is Persia and Shania.
16:23WHISTLE BLOWS
16:24OK.
16:25Where are the balloons?
16:27Ah!
16:29WHISTLE BLOWS
16:30OK. Shed.
16:32Are they in the caravan?
16:35Yeah, they're... There it is.
16:36No. Hmm.
16:37Where could they be, then?
16:40Hiding?
16:43Ah!
16:44Oh, there we go.
16:46Perfect.
16:47We need to look in every space possible.
16:49Right.
16:51So, the bin?
16:53Yeah.
16:54No, that's just bricks.
16:56LAUGHTER
16:59Yeah. What's your plan?
17:01Put biodegradable balloons in the tent.
17:05The caravan?
17:06Hold on, first, the mailbox.
17:07Yeah, check the mailbox first.
17:09No mail.
17:10No.
17:13Oh, my God!
17:14WHISTLE BLOWS
17:17I already have an idea.
17:18WHISTLE BLOWS
17:19Can you pop some balloons?
17:20What with?
17:21Anything. Your pen?
17:23My pen? I guess.
17:26WHISTLE BLOWS
17:27Thank you!
17:28Welcome.
17:29WHISTLE BLOWS
17:30So, what's your plan?
17:31You pop the balloons.
17:32I pop the balloons?
17:33Yeah.
17:34LAUGHTER
17:35WHISTLE BLOWS
17:36Shall I pop some of these?
17:38Yeah, if you want.
17:44LAUGHTER
17:45Do I just keep going?
17:46You just keep on popping, Mike.
17:48What happens if I pop myself?
17:49Uh...
17:50Well, don't do that, Mike.
17:52LAUGHTER
17:55You can gather up some of the, um, balloon carcasses.
17:59Balloon carcasses, did you say?
18:01Yeah.
18:02Quite a chilling idea.
18:03LAUGHTER
18:0425 seconds left.
18:05OK!
18:07Let's give one full balloon.
18:10OK.
18:12Pop!
18:13WHISTLE BLOWS
18:16Thank you, Persia.
18:19Bye, balloons.
18:21Sorry I popped you.
18:22LAUGHTER
18:23APPLAUSE
18:28Wow, what a fearless balloon popping.
18:31Sinead, you had a lot of fun doing that.
18:33Well, I really like balloons, so it was, like, a dream.
18:36But I don't think I've dreamed of putting balloons in a tent,
18:38but I have dreamed of lying in a bed of balloons.
18:41LAUGHTER
18:43You actually drifted away there for a second.
18:45LAUGHTER
18:46Persia, tell me about balloon carcasses.
18:49I mean, there's a difference between...
18:52..a balloon and a popped balloon.
18:56Ooh! Yeah, if it's not a balloon still...
18:59A balloon's a popped balloon.
19:01No, no, there's still a balloon.
19:02Hoisted by your own fatah there, Persia.
19:06When you buy balloons at the store, they come unblown.
19:08They still classify, like, eight-coloured,
19:11multi-coloured, wow, balloons.
19:13LAUGHTER
19:14They don't... They don't classify.
19:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:18Whenever you buy sarcastic balloons, they always...
19:21LAUGHTER
19:23So, I will accept all of those balloons as balloons,
19:26but I would love to know who got the most balloons in their tents,
19:29Michael.
19:30Anita got 42 balloons in her tent.
19:33Gwen, very close to Anita, with 43.
19:36We leap up to 120 balloons,
19:39which was Jamie, with his tent-dragging technique.
19:42The Poppers, however, streaks ahead.
19:43Persia managed 169 balloons in her tent.
19:47Shania, 171.
19:50Wow!
19:52Well, well, well.
19:53That is pretty straight-forward points there.
19:55That is one point to Anita, two points to Gwen.
19:57I'd say three points for Jamie, four points for Persia,
20:00but five points to Shania.
20:01Well done. Fantastic.
20:03APPLAUSE
20:06Okey-dokey, shall we see how that all affects the scoreboard?
20:08It is very tight indeed.
20:10Got Jamie on four, Gwen and Anita on five, Persia on six,
20:12and just nipping up ahead is Shania on ten.
20:15Whoa!
20:17Pretty close.
20:18Very close.
20:21OK, my main man, Mike, what's up next?
20:23When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
20:25When life gives you marble, make marmalade.
20:28But sometimes life gives you neither,
20:30and instead gives you a potentially complicated medley-type task,
20:32in which case my advice would be, head down and crack on with it.
20:35You're in the final, for goodness' sake.
20:36LAUGHTER
20:38MUSIC PLAYS
20:52Hello. Hello, Jamie.
20:54Hi.
20:57Hello, Mike.
20:59Hello.
21:01Hi, Mike. Hi, Anita.
21:03How have you prepared for this final?
21:05Eating food.
21:06What's the food of a winner?
21:08Carbonara. Is it?
21:11Breakfast is probably granola and cherry yoghurt.
21:14OK. Lunch is sweet chilli wrap, soup, something like that.
21:20OK. And then, in the evening, your carbonara.
21:23Carbonara.
21:24LAUGHTER
21:28OK.
21:30Place a number next to each word.
21:33Then open the next task.
21:36I'm just going to read this, see if I can make it make sense in it.
21:40OK.
21:43I don't think I can.
21:46I'm just thinking, just lob the numbers next to the...
21:50..words, because... Just lob them.
21:52Olive seven, country seven, sneeze seven, bin seven.
21:57I haven't got a time limit on this, do I?
22:00I mean, it'll get dark eventually.
22:02OK.
22:05Where's the next task?
22:07It's right here. OK, thank you.
22:11Do each thing the number of times you have chosen.
22:15These are the things.
22:17Name a country.
22:19Eat an olive. Thank God.
22:21Eat an olive! Yay!
22:23Get completely in and out of a sleeping bag.
22:26Do a star jump.
22:28Throw a paper ball into the bin.
22:30Pretend to sneeze.
22:31Fastest to complete all six things wins.
22:35You have a maximum of 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
22:39I am so thankful I didn't put in a huge olive.
22:4518 olives, you're joking!
22:47LAUGHTER
22:49APPLAUSE
22:56Oh, my gosh. Jamie, you went full Gordon Ramsay at the end there.
23:00$18, you are joking, mate.
23:02Oh, my goodness. I mean, by the look of your face,
23:05I think it means something not good for you.
23:07Not good at all. Not good at all.
23:10I was actually going to ask you, Gwen.
23:12Is choosing things quite haphazardly your personality?
23:15Yeah, yeah. But that's not very Scout energy, is it?
23:18I feel like I'd be concerned about going on a Scout trip
23:20with a Scout that just totally feels vibes.
23:22Just like, yeah, there might be a snake, whatever.
23:24Yes, there might be a snake, but my team-mates are just going to
23:27scare it off of me while I go, well done.
23:29LAUGHTER
23:30I am ready, honestly, to see a bit more about this task,
23:34so please, Mike.
23:35OK, here we go. We've got Sinead, Jamie and Anita.
23:39Your time starts now.
23:42Right, let's sneeze.
23:43ACHOO!
23:45ACHOO!
23:47ACHOO!
23:48LAUGHTER
23:49ACHOO!
23:5110, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, done.
23:54ACHOO!
23:55ACHOO!
23:56ACHOO!
23:57I think that might have been a real one.
23:59ACHOO!
24:00ACHOO!
24:01ACHOO!
24:02ACHOO!
24:03I'm done sneezing.
24:08Four star jumps.
24:09You ready for this? I'm ready.
24:12ACHOO!
24:13LAUGHTER
24:14OK. Thank you.
24:15Right, name seven countries.
24:16England, Sri Lanka, Wales, India, Japan, Scotland, Hong Kong...
24:21Scotland's a country, right?
24:23Yeah.
24:24Er, Los Angeles.
24:26Netherlands.
24:28Peru.
24:29One more.
24:31Iceland.
24:34Ooh!
24:35Can you hold that? This is nice.
24:39Why?!
24:43Why?!
24:44You're going to celebrate that much
24:46every single time you get one in the bin?
24:48Why?!
24:51ACHOO!
24:52ACHOO!
24:53ACHOO!
24:54Olives next, is it?
24:55Yes, it's olives next.
24:58They smell so bad.
25:01I love olives, actually.
25:02I don't like them.
25:03No.
25:05Mm.
25:07Everything OK?
25:09Horrible.
25:10ACHOO!
25:13ACHOO!
25:14ACHOO!
25:15ACHOO!
25:16I can't do that.
25:17ACHOO!
25:18OK, um...
25:20Get completely in and out of the sleeping bag.
25:22Ooh, looks cosy.
25:25Hello!
25:26Hello.
25:27Oh, no!
25:30Came in the sleeping bag,
25:31had a nap,
25:32and out of the sleeping bag.
25:35And now the last thing is throw a paper ball into the bin.
25:38ACHOO!
25:40In.
25:42Out.
25:44Can I have some olives, please, whilst I'm doing this?
25:47So I'm just going to fix the zip on my own, am I?
25:49Mm-hm.
25:50While you snaffle olives.
25:53Bye.
26:02I'm not happy.
26:03Why?
26:04Because sleeping bags are evil!
26:11Yay!
26:12Second try.
26:13And I'm done.
26:14ACHOO!
26:15Bye.
26:16APPLAUSE
26:17Bye-bye.
26:19APPLAUSE
26:23Oh, my gosh.
26:25Shania.
26:27I'm an idiot.
26:28Oh, no!
26:29Einstein is a cruel, cruel mistress, Shania.
26:32At least I got to eat 11 olives.
26:33Yeah, you absolutely... I know, it's your lucky!
26:35Oh, that's not horrible!
26:38Yeah, you had a bad time with that, Jamie.
26:40I got some water, cos I was like,
26:42oh, this will be easier, I'll just go...
26:46Don't go there mentally, all right, Jamie?
26:49Come back to us, back to us, yeah?
26:50You're killing me.
26:52Genuinely, Anita, why are sleeping bags evil?
26:54That zip broke, like, one zillion times!
26:58Oh, no!
27:00Have you ever tried to get a sleeping bag
27:02back into the thing that you had?
27:03Get the bag...
27:04Oh!
27:06I got my fellow Scouts to do it for me!
27:08Oh, come on, Gwen, no!
27:10APPLAUSE
27:12I can't believe you!
27:15Right, there's only one thing for it.
27:17Adverts. See you soon.
27:19APPLAUSE
27:30Welcome back to the grand final of Junior Taskmaster.
27:33Now, it's actually come to my attention during the break
27:36that all of our finalists have tested positive
27:39for task-enhancing steroids.
27:41But since that is not against the rules, we can crack on.
27:44There we go. Yay!
27:45Time for a look at the final part of the task.
27:48Let's get the olive out of the way.
27:50Right.
27:53Oh, my God.
27:54OK. Oh!
27:57Oh, my God.
27:58How many stars?
27:59Nine.
28:01One. Two.
28:03Three. Four.
28:04Seven. Eight.
28:05Nine. Oh, that olive is still in my mouth.
28:08Ten. Eleven.
28:10HE CHUCKLES
28:11Oh, that olive.
28:13One.
28:15Two.
28:16Three. Oh, the olive.
28:18Four.
28:19Five.
28:21Six.
28:22Seven.
28:23HE GROANS
28:25I hate the olive.
28:27Are you left-handed?
28:29No.
28:31You make a good point.
28:35Yay!
28:36HE COUGHS
28:39Oh, my God, that olive.
28:41HE COUGHS
28:43Bless me.
28:44Bless you.
28:45HE COUGHS
28:48I'm not good with sleeping bags.
28:50Why is the sleeping bag wet?
28:52I wouldn't pull on that thread if I was you.
28:55It might not be shop-fresh.
28:58Three. Four.
28:59Five. Six.
29:00Seven.
29:01Eight.
29:02Nine.
29:03You're having some trouble.
29:04Halfway!
29:07How many was that?
29:08Ooh.
29:09What do you think?
29:10I think this was the tenth one.
29:13OK.
29:15Eleven.
29:16BUZZER
29:18Eighteen.
29:19BUZZER
29:20Name 18 countries.
29:21Barbados.
29:23Name one country.
29:24Wales!
29:25BUZZER
29:26OK.
29:27Nebraska.
29:28BUZZER
29:29No, that's not a country.
29:30Alaska.
29:31BUZZER
29:32California.
29:33BUZZER
29:34HE SIGHS
29:35BUZZER
29:37Oh, no.
29:38BUZZER
29:39I don't like this.
29:40BUZZER
29:41I've forgotten all of the countries.
29:43Would it help if you thought about population density tables?
29:46I don't even know what that is.
29:47No.
29:51Does that count?
29:52See, that's not that honest, though.
29:55You don't have to eat out of a bin, I don't think.
29:57I wouldn't...
30:00I'm not enjoying this.
30:01Your eyes are watering.
30:02This is the worst task I've ever done.
30:07Oh, Iran.
30:08Syria.
30:09Spain.
30:10Germany.
30:11Egypt.
30:12Scotland.
30:13Um, Wales.
30:14England?
30:16Can I have a glass of water, please?
30:18You're not allowed to say how many I have left.
30:21Oh, I'm allowed? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:22But you just don't want to.
30:23I'm not going to.
30:24LAUGHTER
30:25This is impossible.
30:26WHISTLE
30:27BUZZER
30:28Goodbye.
30:29Thank you, Persia.
30:30So, would you say you've acquired the taste now?
30:33Olive fan?
30:36No.
30:37No, bye.
30:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:46You ate it out of the bin.
30:48Anything for the task.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:51Do you often eat food out of the bin?
30:53No, she lets her scouts do it.
30:54LAUGHTER
30:57I've got to say, at Persia, I would have done the exact same thing
30:59with that country element of the task.
31:01I just want to mention... Yeah?
31:03..the moment before I went on that,
31:06I was talking about how I wanted to go to Japan.
31:09Like, Japan is a country, apparently.
31:11LAUGHTER
31:14Gwen, I mean, you were straight to Wales.
31:17Yeah. What's the best thing about Wales?
31:19The sheep.
31:20LAUGHTER
31:22But... The sheep.
31:24New Zealand is an exact copy of Wales.
31:26Excuse me. What are you trying to say to me?
31:29It's OK. Yeah.
31:30Sorry, it's OK. It's just the famous penguins of Swansea.
31:33You're not too short for that.
31:34LAUGHTER
31:36I reckon it's time for some points for the task.
31:38Yes. Gwen was the only one to complete all six tasks
31:41and managed that in 7 minutes 44.
31:44Anita completed five in 12 minutes 59.
31:47Shania completed four in an incredibly rapid three minutes 34.
31:52Possibly that quick because she didn't do a couple of them.
31:54LAUGHTER
31:56Persia also got four, but it took the full 15 minutes.
31:59Jamie managed five, much like Anita, and did it in 7.41,
32:03but there was the olive refusal issue.
32:07OK. My heart and heart is telling me, one point to Persia, yeah?
32:11Two points to Shania. OK.
32:12Three points for Jamie.
32:13Four points to Anita. Yes!
32:15The full five points go to Gwen. OK, well done.
32:17APPLAUSE
32:19That is very well done, all of you.
32:22OK, Mikey Mouse, what is our penultimate task of the night?
32:26This one is straight out of the MI5 recruitment playbook, probably.
32:30LAUGHTER
32:44Hi, Mike. Hello, Anita.
32:47Hello. Hi.
32:49Hi.
32:50Ey-up, Mike. Ey-up.
32:52How do? I don't speak that language, I'm sorry, what?
32:55LAUGHTER
32:57Plans for the weekend?
32:58Well, I'm playing football on Saturday again.
33:00What's the perfect weekend for Jamie?
33:03Good win at football. Mm-hm.
33:04And then just playing out with my mates. Yeah.
33:07What's Mike's perfect weekend?
33:11Silence.
33:12LAUGHTER
33:14Mm.
33:15Yes, please.
33:17LAUGHTER
33:22Leave this room in exactly one minute from now.
33:25Sit in the lab for three minutes.
33:27Then when the alarm goes off, re-enter the room.
33:32OK.
33:33One, two, three.
33:36So, do I have a clock so I know when the one minute is?
33:40No.
33:42Seven elephant, eight elephant, nine elephant.
33:4512, 13, 14.
33:49Mm-hm.
33:51One Mississippi, two Mississippi,
33:55three Mississippi.
33:57Are you timing it?
34:01Are you timing it?
34:02LAUGHTER
34:04Bye-bye.
34:06Are you going now? See you later.
34:09WHISTLE
34:1436 elephant, 37 elephant.
34:1757, 58, 59, 60.
34:20Goodbye. WHISTLE
34:21That was the end of your minute.
34:23Oh, I didn't have to tell them.
34:25Bye.
34:2637 elephant. WHISTLE
34:2837 elephants in a minute, as it turns out.
34:31WHISTLE
34:3320 Mississippi, 21 Mississippi.
34:36WHISTLE
34:37Thank you, Anita.
34:39LAUGHTER
34:40APPLAUSE
34:42Wow.
34:44Lots of different versions of a minute there.
34:48Yeah, we had 37 elephants, 21 Mississippis.
34:52Mississippis have failed me.
34:54LAUGHTER
34:56Sinead, you were literally going 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56.
35:00I was the most accurate, so you can't say that, Rowan.
35:03No!
35:04Oh, only because...
35:06Well, that's the first time that's happened on the show.
35:11Persia, you're a fan of pigeons.
35:12I'm surprised you didn't decide to count in pigeons.
35:16I've been having to switch between methods.
35:17I went one, 1,000, but I went too slow.
35:20Then I tried elephants, now I'm trying pigeons.
35:23I don't know how to count my minutes.
35:25LAUGHTER
35:28Oh, I'm very excited for the next part.
35:30Sock it to me. Here you go. Socked.
35:36MUSIC PLAYS
35:44I'm bored.
35:45MUSIC CONTINUES
35:47Tick, tock, tick, tock.
35:50I bet this isn't going to be the end of this task.
35:53HE SIGHS
35:55That'd be too easy.
35:57MUSIC CONTINUES
36:00Four, three, two, one.
36:05BEEPING
36:06Bye-bye.
36:07BEEPING
36:12Hello. Wow.
36:13Hello again.
36:15Er...
36:17Oh!
36:19BEEPING
36:24HE SIGHS
36:26Oh, my God.
36:29Hello, Gwen.
36:30Hi, Mike.
36:31Hi, Anita.
36:33Is it disco time?
36:34It's always disco time, Anita.
36:37Right. OK.
36:39Say what has changed.
36:41MUSIC PLAYS
36:53Most correct answers wins.
36:55Every incorrect answer will lose you two correct answers.
36:59You have three minutes.
37:00Your time starts now.
37:02APPLAUSE
37:04Ooh, wow.
37:06I think I got lots of them wrong.
37:07Correctly starved.
37:10I mean, firstly, I just want to address the absolute inability
37:13of anyone to stand in the lab for three minutes
37:16without getting bored.
37:17Anita, you were straight into meditation
37:19and then immediately, I'm bored.
37:20I'm bored.
37:21LAUGHTER
37:22I also, I loved how everyone walked back into the room.
37:25Finding a man dressed as a crow on the sofa
37:27was kind of disturbing.
37:28LAUGHTER
37:30You thought it was disco time, Anita.
37:32Yeah.
37:33Do we still do discos at school and stuff?
37:35Yeah, we do have more discos.
37:36Really? Are they fun?
37:37They're pretty terrible.
37:38Really?
37:39Because, like, the year sixes,
37:40we have to share our discos with the year fives
37:42and they are a bunch of...
37:44Oh, not you!
37:47LAUGHTER
37:48Not you!
37:49Not you!
37:51Just the year fives in my school.
37:53I'm missing my disco to be here,
37:56but if I'm honest, I'd rather be here than a disco
37:59for multiple reasons.
38:00For multiple reasons.
38:01Yeah.
38:02The music's way too loud.
38:03Yeah.
38:04People have way too many sugar rushes.
38:06LAUGHTER
38:07And the teachers dance.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:12It's actually so annoying, cos everyone's like,
38:14oh, you should have a boyfriend,
38:15and I'm like, I don't want a boyfriend!
38:17Yeah, you... Oh, yeah!
38:18LAUGHTER
38:19Come on!
38:20CHEERING
38:21Great thing you had to hear.
38:24Look, I think it's time for a break,
38:26and you know what, just have fun with this one, yeah?
38:28Make it your own.
38:29I'm clocking off. See you soon.
38:30Bye.
38:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:41Welcome back.
38:42It is the final part in the final show,
38:45and not long until the final task.
38:46What's up next, Mike Littlepony?
38:49I'll show you. Here we go.
38:51Hmm.
38:53All right.
38:55One, a bird sitting in this room.
38:57Right.
38:58There's a disco ball, which is actually shining.
39:01An aubergine.
39:02A teeny rubber duck.
39:04There's a horse in that plant.
39:06The table has gone and it's turned teeny.
39:09And the chair's gone teeny too.
39:11Oh, a little table.
39:15You were wearing a duck tie.
39:16Is that a question?
39:17No.
39:18It's a statement.
39:20You and your tie.
39:22You sat on my lazer.
39:24Moustaches.
39:25Rose has got a moustache.
39:26Oh, and the pictures have changed.
39:28I'm on it!
39:30I don't know if the eggplant was there.
39:33Oh, this is tricky.
39:35No, tomato soup wasn't there.
39:37I can read, don't you worry.
39:39There wasn't a cat there,
39:40otherwise I probably would have stroked it.
39:44It's the cat.
39:45The cat wasn't there.
39:46Oh, did I mention the pineapple?
39:48That light wasn't on.
39:50Oh, how long have I got?
39:53You've got one minute and 11 seconds left.
39:56There wasn't a disco ball.
39:57The wooden piñata kind of horsey.
40:00These little guys weren't here.
40:03How long do I have left?
40:04You've got...
40:05WHISTLE BLOWS
40:06..no seconds left.
40:07OK.
40:08Thank you, Jamie.
40:09I think I did well there.
40:10Do you?
40:12Yeah.
40:13That's still creepy.
40:14Mm.
40:15APPLAUSE
40:21So it turns out, you know, their first minute in that room
40:23was to, you know, memorise their surroundings,
40:25although we didn't get round to telling them that bit.
40:29I mean, some rather offensive statements just thrown around.
40:31Sinead just screaming,
40:32-"Rose has got a moustache!"
40:34You're not sitting close enough to see that, are you?
40:38You would never wear a duck tie.
40:40I know, that's very strange.
40:42You looked really good in it,
40:44but I prefer you with your knitted tie.
40:46Thank you, Anita.
40:47They're learning now.
40:48They're absolutely learning.
40:50All righty, I want to see how good their memories are.
40:52Mike, please, give us some stats.
40:54Very good. They all did very well, got most things.
40:57They all missed the lampshade, which changed colour.
40:58They all missed a book, which was entitled,
41:00Hey, Kid, This Book Wasn't Here Before.
41:02LAUGHTER
41:03Quick recap.
41:04For each wrong guess, we're taking two off their total.
41:06So, Persia, for example, got ten correct.
41:09She got three incorrect guesses,
41:10so that means four is her score on that.
41:12Yeah.
41:13Similarly, Sinead ends up with seven.
41:15Jamie, eight.
41:17Gwen got ten guesses and no wrong, so stays on ten.
41:20And Anita, 11.
41:22OK, so, that means it would be one point to Persia,
41:25two points to Sinead, three points for Jamie,
41:28four for Gwen and five points to Anita.
41:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:33There we go.
41:34Well done.
41:36Right, you teeny little tights,
41:38make your way over to the stage for the final task of the show.
41:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:50Mike, who is going to be the final person to read out the final task
41:54on the final of Junior Taskmaster?
41:56It's going to be Jamie, please.
41:59Get your shoe furthest down the knapper.
42:03For each round, you may choose one shoe to throw
42:06and you may only throw each shoe once.
42:10You must stand on the spot to throw your shoe.
42:12The contestant whose shoe is least far down the knapper
42:16will be eliminated at the end of each round.
42:19If anyone's shoe falls off the knapper
42:21or does not pass the green line, they are disqualified.
42:24Thank you, Jamie.
42:26It's very much a last man standing kind of deal.
42:29Are the shoes in there or do we need to use our own shoes?
42:32The shoes are provided.
42:33The shoes are in your box.
42:35And if you are eliminated, my dear contestants,
42:38you'll be asked to sit on your box.
42:40It would be fun to sit on the box.
42:41Great.
42:43Well, that could be coming your way.
42:46Please open your boxes.
42:48Have a think about what shoe you're going to choose first.
42:52Three, two, one.
42:54Show your shoes, please.
42:57So, Anita, you are up first.
42:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:03Oh!
43:04It's passed the green line, thank you, Anita.
43:06Next up is Gwen, please.
43:07You can do it.
43:08Oh!
43:10It's passed the green line, Gwen, indeed.
43:14A delicate, delicate choice.
43:16Spurs you.
43:18Spurs you, thank you.
43:19Good luck. Thank you.
43:21OK, next up is Shania.
43:24Oh!
43:25I'm afraid, Anita, you are eliminated.
43:28Take a seat.
43:29So well done, Anita.
43:30OK, don't be round for you. Open your boxes.
43:33Show your shoes to the world, please.
43:35In your own time.
43:38Oh!
43:39Oh!
43:40Oh!
43:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:43Shania, you're up.
43:45Shoes.
43:46Oh!
43:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:49Oh!
43:50Oh!
43:51Gwen, you are eliminated.
43:52Shoe selection, please.
43:53Oh!
43:54Triple flip-flop.
43:55It's never been seen before.
43:59Oh!
44:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:03Oh!
44:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:07Oh!
44:08Oh!
44:09So, Shania is eliminated.
44:11Down to the last two.
44:12Show your shoes.
44:15Double boots.
44:16OK, Persia.
44:19Oh!
44:20Oh!
44:22Wow, eh?
44:23Straight off the nappet,
44:24but of course we do need Jamie's go as well.
44:29It's Jamie.
44:30I'm lucky.
44:31Congratulations, one and all.
44:33And that means, of course, that in this two-year task,
44:36we have one point to Anita,
44:38two to Gwen,
44:39we have three to Shania,
44:40four to Persia,
44:41and five to Jamie.
44:42Well done, Jamie.
44:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:45Right, let's get ready for the final scores of the night
44:48and to declare our junior taskmaster champion.
44:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:58So, my friends, it all comes down to this, OK?
45:00It's the final scores.
45:01Now, I want you all to remember
45:03that you have all done so amazingly well.
45:05If I could take a hammer and smash that golden trophy
45:07into five bits and give you all the peace, I would,
45:09but I'm not allowed around hammers any more.
45:11So, please, Mike, take it away.
45:13OK, the final scores on the final of junior taskmaster.
45:17The nation holds its breath
45:19and clenches all its available cheeks.
45:21Here we go.
45:22First of all, a round of applause with 12 points
45:25has done spectacularly through the series.
45:28It's Persia.
45:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:31In joint third place with 15 points,
45:35we have Anita and Jamie.
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:40Second place with 16 points goes to...
45:44Gwen.
45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:47And with 17 points...
45:49That can only mean that tonight's winner
45:51and our series champion is the outstanding Shania!
45:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:58Yes, come on, Shania! This is great!
46:00Well done. Oh, my gosh!
46:02Well done, everybody.
46:04Oh, wow!
46:07Incredible.
46:08That's it for the episode and the series.
46:10I would like to thank all of our fantastic contestants
46:13and a massive thank you to the UK's child labour laws
46:15for being so flexible.
46:17But before we go, let's hear it again
46:19for all of our wonderful contestants over the entire series.
46:22And, of course, a huge congratulations
46:23to our junior taskmaster champion, Shania!
46:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE