Meri-Brown-on-Where-She-Stands-With-Kody_Media_66clepuO64c_002_720p
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00:00So this season of your life you feel like you're not saying no
00:04But you possibly could be saying no to things that aren't serving you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's just about like embracing
00:11What it is that you want to do in your life and not worrying about
00:17All the external noises around you
00:21Quite a few external noises
00:24Several external noises there
00:26I thought it was so interesting because there was a moment during this season where you thought am I making the right decision with Cody?
00:37Thanks for being cool, I am so confused part of me was like oh
00:44What have I done? Maybe I did the wrong thing. I'm curious though. Did that come out of fear?
00:50It was a very brief moment of
00:54Those kinds of comments and reactions that he was having was like it threw me back
01:01into
01:02All the thoughts and the moments that I had had for many years prior. It's like no, wait a second
01:07You know, I see these issues happening with us and I see this
01:12massive disconnect
01:13But I also know
01:16What my promise was when I?
01:18Got married to him, you know, and I really thought that he had the same
01:23Commitment level and I thought that we could work through it and I wanted to work through it and you tried for 33 years
01:30I tried for a really long time and I think that he tried as well, you know to be fair
01:35There were times that I know that he tried
01:39I
01:40think in more recent years he
01:44didn't
01:45What's it like watching a moment that obviously you lived and was rather awkward in the moment
01:51But then having to watch it back on television, I can only imagine is a different story
01:54so what does it feel like watching it? It still surprises me and
02:00Confuses me the emotion that he had and the only thing that I can
02:05That can help explain it away is that he just didn't have the time to prepare for that
02:11I think that it was just such a shock to him
02:14Whereas I had had like I mean we were separated for eight years prior to that, right?
02:19You know what? I mean at what point were you fully?
02:22Committed to your decision and leaving Cody
02:25When we started having conversations probably just in the last
02:30Maybe six or nine months
02:33Before we finally terminated it permanently it was in that
02:38That time frame, you know, we started having the conversations and they were hard conversations and you know
02:44It was like are we gonna do this? Do we want to do this? No, we don't then let's move on, you know
02:49Yeah, there's no need to prolong the inevitable in that situation. Yeah, when's the last time you talked to him?
02:55Where do you stand today? We are in a place of
02:59Kindness and grace with each other. He says that you're his favorite ex-wife
03:08Yeah
03:09There you go. Yeah, she's the favorite divorce. I mean at least I can be his favorite something
03:16For whatever that's worth. I don't even know and he wants to walk you down the aisle if you ever get married again
03:22That's not happening. What?
03:24No, would he even be invited? I can't say if he would or wouldn't be invited to be honest with you. It just depends on
03:32Where we are
03:34In our relationship right now like when we talk to each other, it's cordial it's kind, you know
03:41I think there's some level of respect for each other. You know, we've been in each other's lives for over three decades
03:47I don't have hate or animosity toward him
03:51But I also know where my boundaries are with him
03:55So where do you stand with Robin? You know, I I
04:00understand and I recognize that she
04:03Has a lot of stuff that she's trying to deal with with her emotions through the whole thing
04:09With her family not being what she planned but we're all dealing with that
04:14Meaning like she wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to be a
04:18Sister wife she wanted to have you know
04:20This plural family and I recognize that that's painful for her through the process
04:26Our friendship is not as close as it was for sure. Well, I don't know how it could be
04:33Essentially when that relationship when that relationship came about that was like the end of everyone's
04:40Plural marriage I felt like as if you know, that's that's what a lot of people feel, you know
04:45And and I can understand that, you know, I know did you feel that though? Not immediately?
04:51No, I don't feel like it was the end because I know that Cody and I still had good times after that
04:58Of course he says otherwise too, so I don't know I just know where I was, you know
05:05Yeah, you know how surprised were you with how Robin reacted when she said goodbye to you before you moved to Utah
05:12she was in
05:14A state of just distress. Yeah, even Cody thought it was odd. I know this is a good
05:21It
05:26Didn't surprise me that she
05:28Was struggling with that. You were so stoic. It was like the same thing
05:32We see the same reaction with her as you gave Cody. Yeah. What did you think when you watch yourself back?
05:38Um, I I just was in a place of you know, this is a lot of pain for her, but I'm not in pain
05:46I'm not in pain and I'm not gonna let her
05:50Draw
05:52Pain out of me because she needs out for me because I wasn't feeling it and I wasn't gonna give it to her
05:57Do you still have that journal? Do you use the journal? I don't know where it is
06:02You were moving there were lots of boxes. You had an entire you don't have a lot of boxes
06:07Well, I literally don't know where it is
06:11we recently spoke to Christine and she says I'm very very proud of her and I love that she's taking a stand and she's doing
06:17It so eloquently and she's doing it. So brave. It's wonderful to see it's great to see that new her, right?
06:24What are your reactions to Christine's words? I?
06:27Don't think it's about taking a stand against anybody
06:31I'm not taking a stand against anybody and so I'm not gonna accept those words
06:37You know, like I mean, I appreciate that she's
06:41Cheering me on from afar. That's great. But I'm taking a stand for me and not against anybody and that's a completely different
06:52Perspective what does your relationship with Christine look like? It's non-existent
06:57Why is that?
06:58She made it clear that she doesn't want to have a relationship with me and I respect that
07:05Would you want to have a relationship? It's sad for me because I know where we have been in our past and
07:13Also, I know that
07:15Paths shift and our paths are not parallel. They were for a while and we had a lot of fun
07:21I mean we she and I had a lot of fun and a lot of good experience and a lot of laughter and a lot of
07:28Happiness and kindness, you know what I mean?
07:30And it's shifted and that's okay and it took me a long time to really accept in
07:37me that
07:39just because somebody is family doesn't mean we have to have parallel lives and
07:46Do the same thing and move toward the same goal
07:50It's okay. It is. Okay. It's okay. I'm curious then
07:54So what kind of relationship do you now have with Janelle Janelle and I actually talked a little bit more
08:02Than we have for a while. So is she the only sister wife that you're in touch with or former sister wife that you're in touch?
08:07But yeah, okay. Yeah
08:10How frequently is that? It's not super often, but it's it's here and there, you know
08:15She sent me a text the other day and we texted back and forth, you know a little bit, you know
08:20and the thing is
08:21Janelle and I have known each other longer than I've even known Cody like I've known her longer than anybody else
08:28Yeah, and so and in our relationship was never close even before Cody was in the picture
08:35It was never close. It was cordial. It was kind, you know, but it was never like super close
08:41I think we were just never meant to be best friends. It's so interesting that Cody selected
08:46I mean he was married to these women who had such different personalities and then
08:54The expectation that everything was gonna be fine and everyone would get along all the time. I don't know
08:59It just seems so interesting. Well, you know in in the religion that we were involved in
09:07Why we started our family, you know our plural family that way
09:11That's okay, you know, I mean it's not like all of my friends have all had the same person
09:16But you're not married to your friends. That's true
09:19But that's that's the only way that I can I can explain it
09:23Yeah
09:23you know kids a mom who has multiple kids all of her kids are not gonna be the same personality and some of them get
09:29along and
09:30Some of them fight like cats and dogs, you know what I mean? And so
09:34It's
09:36Okay, you know and sometimes we've had closer relationships than others and I think that's just kind of
09:45normal, you know, you just
09:47Sometimes you get along great and sometimes you just don't yeah
09:51Well, Christine and Janelle really seem to still be getting along great
09:55Yeah, and they they are a very good example of they just don't and now they do
10:00Yeah, you know because their relationship as
10:04Like as sister wives was definitely not the relationship that they have now, right? I was there
10:09I saw I witnessed that I saw and heard things that they said
10:13About each other, you know what? I mean?
10:15And so the the fact that they have been able to get past
10:19Some of that stuff and maybe it's just the conflict of being sister wives
10:22Yeah, you know, but they still consider each other sister wives and that's great. That's I think that's awesome for them
10:29It's just so interesting to see that how that relationship has changed over the course of so many years
10:36It really has been interesting to watch. I think it's cool. It's great for him
10:39I know this year has been especially tough for the entire family particularly when it comes with the loss of Garrison
10:46So, how are you all doing when it comes to that front today?
10:50I think that it's extremely painful for all of us and in different ways and in different times
10:57You know, that's what the grief process is it's not linear you deal with it
11:02When the emotions come up because they're gonna come up at different random
11:07surprising times
11:09And yeah, everybody is going through it how they're going through it
11:15And it's all different
11:17Just such a terrible try. Yeah, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you
11:27You