TAMEKA is a retired correctional officer who lives in New York. She has been married to her husband Jonathan, an inmate since 2022. They first met as children, and Jonathan had a big crush on his future wife. The pair lost contact as adults, going on two very different paths. Jonathan committed a crime which led to him being sentenced to 25 years to life in prison, while Tameka started working as an officer in a facility. 14 years after they had last spoken, Jonathan reached out to her again via letter and Tameka went to visit him. After falling back in love Jonathan proposed and they wed inside a prison. She retired as a correctional officer aged just 30, getting a lifetime pension. She spoke to Love Don't Judge about what life is like now, as an ex-officer married to an inmate: "I visit Jonathan every weekend. It takes me about 12 hours total. Six hours going, six hours coming [back]". She continued: "When I visit Jonathan in prison, some of the officer's reactions [are] a little bit confused because they don't know which side of the law I am on. They be like, 'She's married to an inmate, but she's also one of us.' Because if they do something wrong, they think I'm going to report them." Tameka now speaks out on social media about injustices within the system. "I started sharing my story online because I had a very unique story and I felt like the world needed to know it's okay to love who you want to love. The judgement that I faced when I started my relationship [was] 'he's going to take your pension, he's going to get everything that you got out, you are a bad officer. The Department of Corrections should have never hired you." Other criticisms thrown her way are, "You stupid, for marrying an inmate, you an inmate lover, I know those officers hate your a**". Tameka reflected on her situation now that she's "definitely isolated. I feel like I can't have any friends because my friends will judge me. They will also give bad advice and tell me, don't be with somebody in prison." But for her, being married to her husband makes it all worth it. "Jonathan has changed my life for the better because he made me a wife and I don't take that for granted. He's my greatest blessing. So the people who judge me and Jonathan, go look in the mirror. Go judge yourself."
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00:00I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
00:05I got to be the only officer in the world
00:07who got proposed to in jail.
00:09Some of the officers,
00:10they don't know which side of the law I am on.
00:12I was 30 years young when I got my pension.
00:15I get paid a lifetime,
00:17so it would definitely support me and my husband
00:20when he gets out of prison.
00:21My friends would give bad advice
00:23and tell me don't be with somebody in prison.
00:26I started sharing my story online
00:28because the world needed to know.
00:29The judgment that I face is,
00:31you stupid for marrying an inmate,
00:32you're an inmate lover.
00:34They was very crazy.
00:38I visit Jonathan every weekend.
00:41It takes me about 12 hours total,
00:44six hours going, six hours coming.
00:47They banned me.
00:48They're tired of me coming.
00:49Some of them don't like I'm an officer.
00:51And then once my suspension is up,
00:53I go right back.
00:54My name is Tamika and I am the prison officer
00:58that is married to an inmate.
01:00I met Jonathan when we were kids.
01:02We grew up in the same neighborhood.
01:04He was just a little boy who always had a crush on me.
01:07We went our separate ways.
01:08Jonathan ended up going to prison.
01:10Jonathan was sentenced to 25 years to life,
01:13but he's eligible for parole and he has about 11 left.
01:16Me and Jonathan reconnected
01:18because he wrote a love letter
01:20and he sent it to a mutual friend.
01:22It was 14 years since I last seen or spoke to Jonathan.
01:26It was like, oh my God.
01:28After all these years, he still remember me.
01:31He still love me.
01:33At that moment, I was still at work,
01:35so I was afraid to respond back to him.
01:37I contacted Jonathan.
01:39He just said, I'm happy after all these years.
01:42You finally giving me another chance
01:44and we made it official to be with each other.
01:47The visit is eight hours and it's worth it.
01:49I can't wait to kiss my husband.
01:51I can't wait to just have that love and warmth in my presence.
01:55The first meeting with him was insane
01:57because the same inmates that I had in my custody
02:00and I was mean to were the same inmates I seen
02:03that's locked up with my husband.
02:05When I visit Jonathan in prison,
02:07some of the officers' reaction,
02:09they're like a little bit confused
02:10because they don't know which side of the law I am on.
02:14They be like, oh, she's married to an inmate,
02:17but she's also one of us.
02:19Because if they do something wrong,
02:20they think I'm going to report them.
02:21And the inmates react to,
02:23it's like gossip and news for them, like tease.
02:27Hey guys, as you guys already know,
02:29I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
02:34Hey guys, as you guys already know,
02:36I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
02:41I started sharing my story online
02:43because I felt like I had a very unique story
02:46and I felt like the world needed to know
02:48it's okay to love who you want to love.
02:50So this video here is about
02:52staying with your man in prison.
02:54Stay with him.
02:55Do not leave your man in jail
02:57for somebody that's out here.
02:59I had over 61,000 views,
03:01over 517 comments.
03:03When my first video went viral,
03:06I just was happy to impact other people
03:09who may be going through the same thing.
03:11The judgment that I faced when I started my relationship is
03:14he's going to take your pension,
03:15he's going to get everything that you got.
03:17What side of the law are you on?
03:19You a bad officer.
03:21The Department of Correction should have never hired you.
03:24You stupid for marrying an inmate.
03:26You're an inmate lover.
03:27They was just very crazy.
03:31I'm definitely isolated.
03:33I feel like I can't have any friends
03:35because my friends will judge me.
03:38And they will also give bad advice
03:40and tell me don't be with somebody in prison.
03:42Yes, I respond sometimes.
03:44Very seldom though.
03:45I would just put an emoji like a bird in the brain
03:48and call him a bird brain.
03:50Some of the comments I received online was,
03:52I know your officers hate you.
03:55That's dope though.
03:56You married your soulmate.
03:57That's right.
03:58Fight for your husband.
03:59Hearing comments from people who say I helped them
04:02with my story makes me feel like I made the right choice
04:05as being an officer and married to someone in prison.
04:08Like I did what I was supposed to do.
04:14I'm going to show you all a picture
04:15because I got the picture.
04:17This is Jonathan actually proposing to me in jail.
04:22Like I got to be the only officer in the world
04:24who got proposed to in jail.
04:26This is us getting married.
04:28Jonathan write me at least like 10 times in a day.
04:32So this letter said, hey, my crush,
04:35you got me feeling like a kid all over again
04:37and sent me some kisses.
04:39When I was an officer,
04:41I definitely had a different view on prison relationships.
04:44I honestly thought all girls are stupid
04:47for coming to a jail,
04:49crying over a man that can't even take them
04:51to a restaurant to eat.
04:53I thought their self-esteem was low,
04:55but obviously that's not the case.
04:58When I visit Jonathan,
05:00we don't really get any privacy
05:02because again, I'm an officer
05:04and I'm coming to a facility.
05:06Always surveillance cameras
05:07and officers sitting us right in front of their desk.
05:10It's not tough because we make it work.
05:12We're still going to hug each other.
05:13He probably still won't give me some hickeys.
05:15I started the Department of Corrections in 2015.
05:19That job was very tough.
05:21You are around some of the worst criminals
05:24in the city of New York all day.
05:27They call you names at times.
05:29Your coworkers are just as foul as the inmates.
05:32So you're in an environment
05:34where you don't know who to trust.
05:36I decided to leave
05:37because I seen a lot of injustice go on.
05:41This is what correction officers wear on duty to work.
05:44We use a snap tie so that we don't get choked.
05:47This is our badge that we must wear.
05:49These are the signs that I made.
05:52That's me and my husband in prison.
05:54This is our book that we wrote called Common Love.
05:57I use these signs to bring awareness
05:59to my husband's case, to injustice, to the system,
06:02and just to my experience as being an officer
06:05and married to someone in prison.
06:07I absolutely do not miss working in corrections
06:09because I got everything that there is to have.
06:12I got a pension, and I'm able to love my husband.
06:15I worked at the Department of Corrections
06:175 1⁄2 years before I got my pension.
06:19I was 30 years young.
06:21I get paid a lifetime,
06:23so it would definitely support me and my husband
06:26when he gets out of prison.
06:28Oh, that's him, that's him.
06:30He's calling.
06:32This is a prepaid collect call from...
06:36Copy.
06:38Hi, you!
06:42I love you!
06:44What's up, babe?
06:47You gotta hang in there.
06:49You gotta continue to be strong.
06:51You gotta keep your head up and know, like,
06:53there's nothing you can't overcome
06:55that we can't overcome together.
06:57What's something you really want to do
06:59when you come home together as husband and wife?
07:08Oh, you want to get in the tub?
07:13Ooh!
07:15Babe, it's coming, it's coming.
07:17So, Jonathan, how did you feel when you first met Topeka?
07:29Thank you for being, like, so great for me, husband.
07:33Thank you for, like, believing in me
07:35to have your back.
07:37I love you.
07:38I love you, too.
07:39I love you, I love you, I love you.
07:43Ooh!
07:45Jonathan have changed my life for the better
07:47because he made me a wife,
07:50and I don't take that for granted.
07:52He's my greatest blessing.
07:54To the people who judge me,
07:57look in the mirror.
07:59Go judge yourself.
08:05I love you.