Video Information: 29.09.23, IIT-Madras (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ How to find the right friend ?
~ Who can get good friends ?
~ What's wrong with things and people that we get by chance ?
~ How to know what's right for me?
~ How to know who is true friend?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
#acharyaprashant #friends
Context:
~ How to find the right friend ?
~ Who can get good friends ?
~ What's wrong with things and people that we get by chance ?
~ How to know what's right for me?
~ How to know who is true friend?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
#acharyaprashant #friends
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Pranam Acharya ji. I'm Shreyas. So I'm a second year B.Tech student pursuing civil engineering.
00:11So my question is, till now I haven't found a friend who is supportive or shares the same
00:17goals as mine. So like the companies we see, the companies with the humble beginnings,
00:25they often attribute their success to strong friendship at their core. So like how do I
00:30find or make such friends so that I can achieve big in future? And how long is this journey?
00:37And how difficult is it to finding such friends? And if I don't get such a friend, so who can
00:44I be close with? So can I still be achieving big or something like that?
00:53For you to find the right friend, you have to be at the right place. At the right place.
01:02It's only at the right place where you can find the right person. And for you to be at
01:10the right place, you need to know what is right for you. When you know what is right
01:18for you, then you start going in that direction with all your energy and dedication. And when
01:25you move towards that, you find people who are like you or better than you, moving in
01:35the same direction and probably going to prove helpful. The first thing is your own commitment
01:46towards yourself. For example, let's say you want to be a badminton player. You want
01:57to be a badminton player. So what do you do? And you do not know where to find a right
02:05partner to just knock with. You start doing whatever you can. You start maybe bouncing
02:17the shuttle off the wall of your room. I used to do that. No court was available, no partner
02:24available. So I would just take a wall and just keep banging at it. Not the right thing
02:30to do anyway. And then when you do that, you get fed up of yourself. You say, how long
02:37can I do this? I need a proper court. And then you start looking around for a proper
02:43court. And when you find that court, you find there are others on that court. And those
02:53others are the one who prove good to you and are fit to be called friends. So you cannot
03:02just say, I'm going out looking for friends. That's not the first thing to happen to you.
03:09The first thing is you do whatever best is possible in your individual capacity. Soon
03:17you will discover that you are getting saturated and then you will be forced out to look out.
03:24Then you will be forced to look out to better places. And when you reach those places, you
03:29will find persons as well. Remaining where you are and remaining as you are, you will
03:40only find friends who are just the way you are. If you want to find people who really
03:50deserve to be called friends, then you need to aspire and endeavour. You need to look
03:59at yourself, see where you lack, see how you can shed your weaknesses. And then in that
04:10process almost accidentally you come across people who will prove to be good friends.
04:22Having good friends is a luxury. Not everyone can have it. Like all luxuries in the world,
04:35this one can be had only by those who pay the price for it. Luxurious goods are expensive,
04:44are they not? So good friends are one of the greatest luxuries possible in life. You have
04:53to pay a great price. But we don't pay any price. So all we get is accidental friends.
05:03You check into your hostel and your roommate, he becomes your friend. Now that kind of friendship
05:09is hardly any good. The probability of that being a fruitful friendship or an elevating
05:17relationship is 1 in 100. You have to be tremendously lucky to find a great friend just by chance.
05:25That cannot happen that way. But be it anything, we leave it to chance. Friend by chance, girlfriend
05:35that too by chance, spouse that too by chance, placement by chance, branch by chance. Everything
05:44is by chance. And if everything is by chance, then what is the difference between us and
05:51any inanimate thing floating about in the winds? Everything happens to that thing by
05:57chance, no? Think of a little fallen leaf. The winds are taking it that way, this way.
06:08It falls on the ground. Somebody steps on it. Things are happening to it all by chance.
06:21Human beings operate via consciousness, not via chance. Friends cannot be accidental.
06:32I just met someone during my journey to Chennai and you know, we are great friends now. Well,
06:50that's random Brownian kind of engagement. Molecules just rushing about randomly and
07:04colliding with each other for no particular reason at all. And just as they collide,
07:11they also rush away from each other only to collide with somebody else.
07:16No. Get into yourself. Do the best you want to be done to you in your own little way. Obviously,
07:32you'll make a lot of mistakes. Make those mistakes. Make honest mistakes. Make dedicated
07:37mistakes. And in that process of inner effort and honesty, you will come across people who
07:48will be better than accidental finds. Remember, you just cannot randomly get a nice person
08:00anywhere. It may happen, but the probability is slim. Where are you more likely to find a
08:10great cricketer? In a shopping mall or in a stadium? In a shopping mall, you might find a
08:23great cricketer, but the probability is not zero, but tends to zero.
08:31If you want to befriend a great cricketer, first of all, you must develop
08:36some cricketing skills of your own so that you are allowed entry into the stadium.
08:44And then when you enter the stadium, you will find people you can befriend.
08:52Am I making sense? It does not seem so.
09:03You see, you are able to talk to me because you are sitting in an IIT campus.
09:26That's a practical example.
09:28You are able to speak to me only because you are sitting in an IIT campus.
09:35You get what I am pointing at? You first have to reach that place before you can connect to this
09:41person.