Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00What's up Wolfpack Fame, it's your boy Kid back at it again
00:13Hope you're doing well
00:14Continuing my journey of Toast of London with my boy Matt Barry and the rest of the gang
00:18Looking forward to seeing what adventures lie on this week's episode
00:22You know, we'll see what we'll see what's popping off on this one
00:25So with that being said don't forget to Like comment subscribe absolutely free to do shout out to the patch as well
00:29Thank you for your support links are always in a description section
00:32If you're curious for all that stuff is another way of helping out the channel
00:35Remember you guys also help out the channel just by pointing wrong by watching liking commenting
00:40You know and those who already subscribe to the channel you guys help out tremendously. See you soon. Go watch the reaction right now
00:47Snacks not included. Let's freakin go
00:53Evening Steven not to get through. Yeah, how much what the hell is this sat nav for the elderly?
00:59It's a new option. They're offering sat nav. Is that the client's name? That sounds Indian. So I'm guessing that's you
01:06Not quite Steven sat nav is the brand name of a voiced automated travel service you what audio travel information
01:15Well, as you can see Steven, there's a lot to get through. So let's crack on. Yeah, maybe a long night
01:20Hello Steven, this is Clem fandango. Can you hear me? Here we go
01:24Steven yeah, I can hear you Clem fandango. There's over 700 pages in front of you
01:29So the sooner we get started sooner we can sign off. Well, stop talking then you silly prick
01:38Are we rolling? Oh good buddy. You are now turning into a bot spree
01:46Abington act on all Brighton all sister
01:54Oldford all mouth
01:57Olnick
01:59Alston
02:00ale shum
02:03Amish um
02:05and over
02:07Accrington ale sham
02:10Ash borne
02:13Ascot ash Burton
02:16Axe
02:23St. Alden's
02:25st. Leonard's warrior square
02:27st. Peter port
02:30Who the hell are you?
02:34St. Xavier the hell's a time fuck this
02:46You
03:04And you must be looking forward to going back into the West End again, yes
03:09It's a legendary play. I mean there can't be many theater girls who haven't heard of the moose trap
03:14How long has it been running?
03:1960 years and
03:21Still attracting huge audiences. That is such a long time. What do you think is the secret to its success?
03:28Well, it's a good old-fashioned murder mystery. Really, right?
03:32It's well plotted and the fact that the chauffeur is the murderer is very cleverly consumed from the audience
03:38With a series of delicious red headings the chauffeur did it the chauffeur is the murderer? Yes
03:43Well, the moose traps running in the West End until forever really so do go along and you'll see our special guest. Mr
03:50Stephen Toast, thanks for coming in Stephen. Well, thank you
03:53And I hope that I'm come across as crude by saying this but you really are sex on legs
03:59Should be a TV where more people can see you. I
04:02Suppose you fancy going for a drink deal
04:13Yeah fault
04:15Hell of a morning Jay
04:17Was up all night doing that voiceover and then I went and did the radio interview
04:21I was quite pleased with myself and then I went to the Colonial Club and for some reason nobody would talk to me. I
04:28Was up most of the night to toast cleaning this collection of antique firearms
04:33Yeah, what the hell is it with all that? Where did you get them from Michael winner loaned them to me?
04:39Kind of stuck with him now since he's dead and then this morning I heard your interview
04:45You know that please been running for
04:4860 years
04:50Yes, and in all that time no one not one single person has revealed the climax of the play
04:56Where the murderer is unmasked?
04:59Yes, but today live on woman's hour you revealed the name of the murderer
05:05Yes
05:07You see what you've done taste yes think of the implications for a moment
05:13Yes
05:20What are the implications
05:22The implications are that as a result of your actions this morning
05:26No director or actor for that matter will ever want anything to do with you
05:31Well, that's why people weren't talking to me in the Colonial Club earlier
05:35And he won't see Mark Rylance on the culture show last night
05:39That smell smells like someone's just fucked up their career
05:59You were being shunned toast shunned yes
06:03You've done something really dreadful by giving away the end of that play the colonial is an actor's club
06:09They were quite right to shun you. It's not nice being shunned
06:12Luckily shunning doesn't last long you can go back in a couple of days
06:17But anyone who wanted to see that moose trap play probably won't bother now because you told them who the murderer is
06:23No, no Jane. It's like that Titanic film
06:27Everybody knew what was gonna happen in the end, but it was still a tremendous hit
06:30This is very different taste
06:33Honestly, Jane. I don't think anybody's going to agree with you about this
06:38It's like that Titanic film everybody knew what was gonna happen, but it was still a tremendous. This is very different toast
06:45Honestly Davison. I don't think anybody's going to agree with you about this. It's like that Titanic film
06:52Everyone knew what was gonna happen in the end, but it was still a tremendous hit
06:56Very different
06:58Honestly mrs. P. I don't think anybody's going to agree with you about this
07:03It's like that Titanic film everybody knew what was gonna happen in the end, but it was still a tremendous hit
07:08This is very different toast
07:10to be honest ed a
07:12Few people have said that to me now. It's quite serious to give away the ending of such a legendary play
07:18It probably doesn't matter much to the cast they've been in it for years completely zombified going through the motions
07:23But 60 years, can you imagine?
07:29Is he getting pegged guys
07:42I'm Stephen toast
07:46I'm playing the detective. Oh, oh, yes our new cast member
07:53I'm Ken suggestion good to meet you post. No toast Philip dear
08:00This is our new cast member post as in deaf as a I'm
08:07Penny traitor is the producer or director around
08:12Sorry, the producer or director are they around?
08:18No, no, he's just us. I'm afraid
08:22Well who takes charge of rehearsals
08:25Rehearsals, but I haven't even been sent a script
08:29Well, there may be a copy of the play lying around somewhere
08:34Who would have one?
08:36Albert may have a copy. Yes. Yes
08:40Is he around?
08:45Albert
08:47What news what of the outside world we're a bit isolated in here, oh, all right, well
08:56David Cameron is still p.m. Not that you'd notice. I mean, I can't remember what he looks like
09:06Really any sign of that script? Yes. Here's Albert now
09:11You
09:16Have a copy of the play for post here
09:25Thank You Albert
09:33The place awful, but luckily I don't appear until the third act when I quickly solve the murder
09:38Yes, and you know did it the chauffeur?
09:41We all know that now. Thanks to you. All right, anyway
09:45Looking forward to seeing the play again
09:48What a relief to see a show that isn't full of bad language immigrants and sex change artists
09:54Modern dramas it isn't set in the north
09:57Glorifying the type of scroungers one sees on Benefit Street
10:00And I don't even have to follow the plot or anything because I know the chauffeur did it. All right
10:06Still a
10:08regular job for you toast
10:10Play your cards, right? You could be in gainful employment for the next 30 years
10:18Where the bloody hell is he not like him to be late
10:22Stop there. He is. Who the fuck is that? Dennis awaits
10:26Retired commander of the household cavalry regiment still likes to wear the uniform
10:32Dennis good to see you
10:34Jim tonic
10:36No, Dennis, this chap isn't a waiter
10:39He's my brother, why does he think I'm a waiter does your buddy look like one a lot of people have remarked on it
10:45It's the tash wait Dennis. This is Stephen toast
10:49toast Stephen toast
10:56How was your journey from Ipswich Dennis come down on Farage did you on who Farage Dennis's horse
11:03Did he ride a horse all the way from Ipswich?
11:05Yes, the only reason I'm meeting Dennis here in this bugger house
11:10It's one of the few places in London where you can still tie up your horse outside
11:14Christ Cambridge
11:16Roadworks at Cambridge with a Dennis roadworks Cambridge. You said you were using that new device the sat nav for the elderly rubbish
11:24Useless probably doesn't work on horses. Why the fuck is he talking in that crazy way?
11:29Dennis retired from the regiment. He's landed himself a cushy little job at the BBC
11:34He's the announcer on that university quiz program, oh
11:38I haven't seen that in 30 years. Well there again. I never watched television though. I have heard breaking bad. It's very good
11:46Fuck yeah, this is the student presses a buzzer when he or she
11:53Thinks they know the answer and Dennis gives the name in university
11:57That's the easiest job in the world Dennis is getting a bit tired of the traveling name
12:01Especially since he goes everywhere by horse, so he's retiring well
12:05I could do that job how much do you earn in a year half a million shit?
12:10Could you put a word in for me certainly? Yes?
12:15You'll probably have to meet Paxman who Jeremy Paxman the miserable presenter
12:21Year above me at Eden, you know sullen little prick even then who cares
12:26Half a million quid just for saying the names of a bunch of students
12:30Huh easy-peasy
12:42Tonight's performance will begin in five minutes I
12:48Say it's a little queer that there aren't any directors or stage managers around
12:54Oh, we've been at it so long that everything more or less happens
12:59Automatically no real dramas to speak of
13:04Apart from Ken Ken what about Ken he just
13:10Occasionally forgets his lines when a new actor joins the production or or there isn't a full house
13:25Alright, let's do this
13:28I
13:42Am inspector Attenborough from Scotland Yard
13:46One of your servants rang me about a murder
13:50So I wish to interview you all know you don't come on till act three
13:59I'll be back
14:08Yes, I know it's act three I'm on in a moment
14:19So what time did you hear this scream Colonel Granville I
14:28Miss Crabtree informed us that she retired at 1130. Was it after that?
14:36Well say your line man, I forgot
14:42Yes
14:44Oh
15:05Yeah, there's a chill in the air
15:10The still of the night
15:15the stalls and
15:20There's not many
15:44Night
16:09That was fire
16:14I
16:19Think Oxford is the better team toast. Maybe you should swap city and Richard Osman. It doesn't matter it
16:25I wanted Salman Rushdie and Jemaine Greer instead of sooty and sweet, but I couldn't find their pick to you
16:30Well, why do we have to have any women? I've never noticed a woman on that quiz program. Who cares Blair?
16:35It's important that I get this job that plays a disaster
16:38Ed you be Oxford Blair your Cambridge get on your buzzers and I'll practice saying the names
16:46Chemistry what ionic logarithm is the carbon derivative of 10?
16:54Well, come on buzz I'm just trying to think who'd be good at chemistry you've selected mostly classicists and journalists
16:59Well, can we at least get rid of Janet Street Porter? Just press anything
17:04Oxford fry I
17:06Don't know the answer me neither. Look, have you got any questions on military history? Look scrap that randomly press and I'll say the names
17:16Cambridge gentle
17:18Oxford Kirishi
17:21Cambridge sweep, it's quite fun actually, isn't it? And I'm excellent at it. Yes. It's noticeable that the women haven't answered anything
17:29Three o'clock well Paxman be there. Apparently sir. It's funny. You've never heard about him
17:34I never watched television. Although I hear Breaking Bad is very good
17:47Quite sure where we are toast
17:49Since the closed-down television center
17:53Nobody really knows where the BBC actually is now. I haven't got a clue either red. Do you have a sat nav?
18:00Good thought toast as it happens. I bought one just recently
18:04Let's see
18:26What is that man I'd buy that
18:35That sounded that
18:37Who the hell are you again?
18:40I'm Stephen toast. I'm here for the university quiz show voiceover gig Stephen toast
18:46And what are your qualifications for this job? Exactly? I'm an experienced actor and voiceover artist
18:54My little surprise you haven't heard of me
18:56Stephen toast
18:58Hang on a second. Oh god, you're that idiot that gave away the ending of the moose trap
19:04Well when I'm on radio forum was asked the question you give away the ending of the moose trap
19:09I was asked a question on said show
19:11Did you give away the ending of the moose trap?
19:14Many topics were discussed one of which was did you give away the ending of the moose trap?
19:19It was a promotional interview. She asked me the question and I give away the ending of the moose trap
19:25Why the fuck do you keep asking me that?
19:29You're a rude fella if you don't mind me saying well, you're an idiot
19:33What did you just say you'll apologize for that big boy
19:41What's that meant to be that's my sculpture of the angel of north which I made out of matchsticks
19:46Well, if you don't apologize i'll smash your sculpture of the angel of north which you made out of matchsticks
19:55Oh shit, you wouldn't dare
20:03That was a very stupid thing to do
20:11Holy fuck is he dead paxman? Where the hell did he go?
20:21See ya
20:22And so it becomes very clear
20:25an unlikely killer to be sure
20:27But there was only one person who had the motive means and opportunity
20:34to commit such a foul deed
20:37The murderer is
20:41Lady beddington
20:43That's a surprise what?
20:46No, no, you idiot the chauffeur did it. No, it was lady beddington
20:52No, this is all wrong the chauffeur did it
20:54Oh my god, I think she's dead. Oh brilliant. What's going on toast? I was just trying to shake things up a bit
21:02Oh, yeah, you post toast you fuck nut. You bloody ruined it
21:07Out of my way
21:09Oh, that's right. Yeah, go on desert a sinking ship bugger off to cats. Whatever it is. You losers enjoy
21:16Screw you
21:18Toast
21:3260 years toast
21:3460 long and successful years and now the show has closed
21:39And a wonderful actress has died. I didn't know she was one of your clients jane. Yes
21:45The only thing she did apart from that play was an episode of poldark in 1973
21:50Such a tragedy
21:52And all down to you
21:54You won't be able to show your face around here for a while. I think you should go and live in france
21:59and one more thing
22:01What's this I hear about you on that university quiz show on the bbc
22:06Ah just about to tell me where you going behind my back trying to get jobs on your own where you you fucking weasel
22:12I just fancied the fancy myself as an agent by the sounds of things
22:16What have I said that you are never to try and get jobs on my own?
22:19You are never ever to try and get jobs on your own. Well, you haven't got this job
22:23Anyway, who got it?
22:24Well, not you because apparently you had some kind of argument with jeremy paxman
22:30Destroyed his matchstick model of the angel of the north and threw him out of a window
22:35Did you throw jeremy paxman out of a window?
22:37Oh
22:38well
22:39kind of
22:40I didn't throw him out of a window though. He did end up going through a window
22:44Unbelievable behavior toast you have created a perfect fiasco
22:48And now you're kind of throwing jeremy paxman out of windows and destroying his matchstick models really toast. I mean really
23:03I think you know what to do
23:08Wait, wait, wait
23:14And do a good job this time your last attempt wasn't very thorough
23:26Get to work brother
23:29Get to work brother
23:34Here's your starter at 10. What was the name of the second rate actor who single-handedly forced the closure of the legend to play the moose trap
23:45Cambridge classy smith stephen post
23:58I don't know
24:14Dope episode we gotta talk about it. Stephen fucking post. Hold on a second. Thank you guys for hanging out. Appreciate you all
24:21Hey guys, so I hear uh, the chauffeur did it uh, ladies and gentlemen and one more thing
24:28That I heard
24:29Breaking bad is uh, pretty pretty good guys. Pretty damn good freaking love that show man. So toast man
24:36He did something that is such a huge, uh pet peeve for me or peeve. Um
24:42Well, yeah, you ruined some shit man. So him being shunned by you know, all the uh, that group
24:48You know all the actors essentially man. That shit was funny as hell freaking everybody's laughing at him and race
24:54Raise basically in that moment having the last laugh on my boy post, uh, you know, this was a dope episode that freaking
25:03Guy choking the shit out of my boy toast funny as hell creepy as hell that musical bit
25:09There was absolutely a banger that shit was fire, man
25:12I absolutely love that and you guys have mentioned, you know early on the series that we were going to hear some musicals and stuff
25:19like that and more musical, uh
25:21Performances and so this one didn't disappoint. I almost i'm not gonna lie. I almost look forward to it
25:27Any sort of musical a bit? Um, so when we've had episodes that didn't have it. I was disappointed
25:33So a lot of times i'm definitely looking forward to the music bit. Um, what'd you guys think i've gone on the record?
25:41From seeing um, you know it crowd that matt berry has a voice, you know again
25:46He is in a video game
25:48Um, and he is such a great voice actor like again that guy could read literally anything
25:54So him reading the sat navs with all the names man, and then the clem fandango and the rest of the guys
26:00Uh, they left and you know still the next day he's still doing this shit
26:04So that was a crazy funny ass moment because i'm thinking i'm like this shit gonna go
26:09Way past that shit is a fucking 700, you know, 700 pages of shit, man. So, um thoughts on
26:16When someone ruins something so you got this long standing 60 plus years shit
26:21And yeah, he fucking ruined that shit. And again, that is a huge that shit will piss me off. Um,
26:28From that shit would get me from zero to one. I'll be real angry real quick. I've went to movies with friends and
26:36they never told me like for example, let's say the movie was titanic or some shit and
26:42You know, they they'll go first by themselves and then they'll go with a group but then when they're in the movie with me
26:47They're like fucking spoiling this shit, which would piss me off
26:51um, you know, so that that whole moment there where he's screwed up and everybody's shunning him and then he's getting these
26:59Nightmares and people still reminding him when he's in the murder mystery essentially
27:05Was funny as hell the older cast there was crazy, you know, um
27:11again, it was interesting to to um
27:14With jane, which is cleaning the guns and you know towards the end
27:18He's gonna have to do that. So a little bit of I don't know if it's foreshadowing or if that's the term
27:23but um
27:24Yeah, it was cool seeing that I definitely thought his brother was funny and then the his brother's friend
27:30That eventually puts in a good word so he can get on that kind of game show that university thing
27:35That shit was crazy with that pac-man guy
27:38Uh, man, why you keep asking me, uh, you know if i'm this the guy man
27:42They kept saying it over and over and then you know with the match, you know with the matchbox shit, man
27:48Fucked up that shit that fucked up man. That's like some legos coming down and that's a lot of hard-ass work
27:54But when he went out that window
27:57Oh my god, so this show cracks me up. Uh, ladies and gentlemen
28:02I I don't want to ask if you're familiar with this, but you know
28:06But um
28:08When toast was in that compromising position what was happening there guys, you know, I I I don't know but
28:16Either yeah, I hope it's not what I think it was when I said it during the show
28:20But man, we are loving um this show the whole sat nav him going into the bbc place. Um,
28:27Ruining the moment and then while he's still on air saying essentially lady. You got some really nice legs
28:33You want to go out you want to go out go for a little drink?
28:36So yeah, matt barry's is phenomenal. The show is phenomenal. The music's definitely elevated for me. Um,
28:43The little murder whodunit thing was really cool scene
28:46i've never participated in in any of those type of games like that or been I haven't really been to um shows, uh,
28:55Or or musicals like that. So it's cool seeing it, you know, these things happen for me
29:00So, uh, hopefully maybe one day we'll go to a musical
29:03I don't know. I the only thing that i've been to I don't know. Does it count as a musical?
29:08Maybe it does the the rocket show in um, radio city. Maybe that counts as a musical
29:13But so if that counts, that's the only thing i've done. Um when I was younger, but yeah
29:18Anyways enough of my shit. Um, just in case guys, um
29:22The chauffeur did it and I hear that breaking bad is it's really good
29:27So let me know you guys in the comments down below have you seen breaking bad I have seen breaking bad
29:33Love that show the one show that I gotta follow up and see that. Um,
29:37Good buddy of mine loss has always been telling me and my boy super
29:41That I need to see the better call sal one and I haven't seen that one
29:45And yeah, i'm gonna have to do that, but I think I might have to do a breaking bad binge
29:49Uh when I get a chance and then maybe move on to a better call sal
29:53So let me know if you guys enjoyed this episode. It's good. It's funny. It's wacky fun a lot of crazy shit
29:59Uh, you know again when that guy was coming in being all creepy and shit
30:03I might have some nightmares for quite some time and then the older folks were a little bit interesting as well
30:08So that being said don't forget to like comment subscribe. Hopefully you guys enjoying the show alongside me
30:12I'm very much enjoying the show and I look forward to seeing the next episode. See you soon. Peace out
30:17Take care and have a wonderful wonderful weekend. Thank you for you know, stopping in and hanging out. Peace
30:23out