• 4 months ago
1976 Under The Doctor HOT MILF MOVIE
Transcript
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00:09:50This won't be difficult.
00:09:52I promise to go slowly for you.
00:09:55If you could just take down whatever I say.
00:09:58Of course.
00:09:59Anything, Mr. Johnson.
00:10:02Sirs, further to your letter of the 12th inst,
00:10:05this is to inform you that the consignment of ball bearings
00:10:09has not yet arrived.
00:10:11Full stop.
00:10:13Complications will arise in the manufacturing process
00:10:16if we do not take delivery immediately.
00:10:20Your contract is to provide good balls.
00:10:26Where was I?
00:10:28You had just got to good balls.
00:10:33Yes, to provide good balls by the 10th of this month.
00:10:41You have a good deal of duty to honour this contract.
00:10:46Et cetera, et cetera. That'll do.
00:10:48Now, if you could just type that up for me, please.
00:10:51Yes. Oh, where do I find the paper?
00:10:53It's in the bottom drawer.
00:10:58Here, let me.
00:11:01I've got some.
00:11:03You certainly have.
00:11:08Yes?
00:11:23Your wife on the line, sir.
00:11:25Oh, tell her I'm in an important meeting at the moment
00:11:28and can't be disturbed.
00:11:29Her credentials must be good.
00:11:36I'm firing her.
00:11:39Now, how are we doing?
00:11:43Oh, it's all right. I can read quite easily from there.
00:11:47That was really the moment I knew
00:11:49when I felt his warm hand on my shoulder.
00:11:52Were you nervous?
00:11:54I was trembling, not from nerves, more excitement.
00:11:58And the letter?
00:12:00Oh, I'd made a complete ball for that, if you'll pardon the pun.
00:12:04Instead of good deal of duty, I typed...
00:12:08God, I feel fruity.
00:12:15I had no idea that my innocent typing error
00:12:18was going to have quite such a dramatic effect on him.
00:12:23He seemed to be lost for words for a moment
00:12:27and then started to undo all of my good work.
00:12:31It became obvious that...
00:12:33Wasting company time on personal matters such as phone calls
00:12:35must be discontinued.
00:12:37The abuse of company time is appalling and furthermore,
00:12:41it has...
00:12:43Furthermore, it has come...
00:12:46Furthermore, it has come...
00:12:50Furthermore, it has come...
00:12:59It's come!
00:13:03You reached a climax?
00:13:05Yes, and so quickly too.
00:13:08Why, it was incredibly exciting.
00:13:11Because he was a good lover?
00:13:12Oh, not just that.
00:13:14It was the feeling that we might have been caught at any moment.
00:13:18Of course, that would be an added stimulus
00:13:20since your whole fantasy was based upon the idea of illicit sex
00:13:23in a chance meeting situation.
00:13:25Oh, I don't think I like the word illicit.
00:13:27We'll go into that further next time.
00:13:29Oh, by the way, did you take the job?
00:13:31No, no, of course not.
00:13:33Well, that would have spoiled everything.
00:13:35I don't want to work for a firm that won't let me make personal phone calls.
00:13:39Do I?
00:13:48Case history number 2420, Victoria.
00:13:53Daughter of the fourth Earl of Stockbridge.
00:13:56She attended an exclusive public school for girls,
00:13:59followed by two years in a Swiss finishing school.
00:14:03The society debutante hired one of the last coming-out parties of any significance.
00:14:08However, since coming out, she's done very little else.
00:14:11A former member of the so-called jet set,
00:14:13she spent most of her time being taken round the world
00:14:16by some very eligible admirers.
00:14:18Or as she puts it, wooing, viewing and screwing.
00:14:22An interesting observation for future countess.
00:14:39She's now turned her back on that particular scene
00:14:42and has retreated to her father's country seat,
00:14:44spending all of her time at home.
00:14:46Her father is concerned about her,
00:14:48and she refuses even to meet any of the men that he has in mind for her as a potential husband.
00:14:56She's extremely anxious to marry her off to somebody with a great deal of money.
00:15:00And for the file,
00:15:02check that Lord Stockbridge's account is fully paid up to date.
00:15:06Today's appointment is for four o'clock.
00:16:37Do you mind if I smoke?
00:16:39Oh, no, no, please, go right ahead.
00:16:42Is it a help?
00:16:43No, it's a hash.
00:16:45Oh, I thought you'd given all that up.
00:16:47Silly, of course I have.
00:16:53Oh, this is just a good old coffee or hard-up tobacco.
00:16:56Honestly.
00:16:57Do you need it?
00:16:58Well, one must have some.
00:17:00I don't smoke.
00:17:02Honestly.
00:17:03Do you need it?
00:17:04Well, one must have some pleasures in life.
00:17:07Oh, but you could have...
00:17:08did have all the pleasures that anyone could ask for.
00:17:11You gave all those up.
00:17:12Oh, yes, I know, but that was different.
00:17:14Hmm?
00:17:15In what way?
00:17:16Well, it was all so pointless.
00:17:20Samaritz in the winter,
00:17:22Saint-Tropez in the summer,
00:17:24and St. Albans in between.
00:17:26St. Albans?
00:17:28Oh, didn't Daddy tell you about St. Albans?
00:17:31I am surprised.
00:17:33No, he didn't mention it, actually.
00:17:35Why don't you tell me about it?
00:17:37Well, St. Albans is where you will find the country seat
00:17:42of the Right Honourable Rodney Harrington Harrington.
00:17:45Is he connected with the Harrington Harrington Bank?
00:17:47Oh, darling, he is the Harrington Harrington Bank.
00:17:51Or at least his father is.
00:17:53Rodney is more of a branch at the moment,
00:17:56just waiting to take over head office.
00:17:58And you visit him in St. Albans?
00:18:00Is he a boyfriend or a lover?
00:18:02Heaven forbid! No, I don't visit.
00:18:04I go on an annual pilgrimage.
00:18:06Only for Daddy's sake, not mine.
00:18:08I don't understand.
00:18:10Well, Daddy knows that Rodney is crazy about me,
00:18:14and he's been trying to marry me off to him for years.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Unfortunately, Rodney Harrington Harrington
00:18:21is also incredibly boring-boring,
00:18:23and I can't stand him.
00:18:25Then why do you go?
00:18:26I told you, for Daddy's sake.
00:18:28You see, Daddy banks with Rodney's father,
00:18:31and, oh, to be honest,
00:18:33his account is never really very healthy.
00:18:35So I keep up this pretense for romance with Rodney
00:18:39just to avoid any embarrassment.
00:18:42I figure that we can be in the red
00:18:45if I'm in his bed.
00:18:47Poetic justice, don't you think?
00:18:50What are you writing?
00:18:52Oh, nothing, nothing.
00:18:53Just a note for my files.
00:18:55Oh, where were we?
00:18:57Oh, yes, you were in bed with Rodney Harrington.
00:19:00Harrington.
00:19:02Harrington.
00:19:04How long did you spend with him each time?
00:19:07In bed?
00:19:08No, no, on each visit.
00:19:10Oh, I didn't know.
00:19:12Just long enough to tire him out.
00:19:15About half an hour, I suppose.
00:19:17Could we be serious, please?
00:19:19Yes, I'm sorry, sir.
00:19:20Of course, sir.
00:19:21About two weeks, sir.
00:19:24Really, if this is going to be too much for you...
00:19:26I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to mock.
00:19:29Actually, it really was about two weeks.
00:19:32But really, I don't see the relevance of all this.
00:19:35Well, did you feel cheapened by having to do this,
00:19:38selling yourself?
00:19:40Oh, I've never felt quite so self-deprecating.
00:19:44With a chauffeured Rolls-Royce, my own maid, and a butler,
00:19:48well, that was hardly a piccadilly pick-up.
00:19:52Oh, no, I never felt cheapened.
00:19:55With Rodney and his father talking about millions of pounds' worth
00:19:58of share transfers over the pheasant,
00:20:00that was hardly possible.
00:20:03Did you ever consider marrying Rodney Harrington?
00:20:06Harrington?
00:20:07Harrington.
00:20:09At the beginning, when we first went to bed together,
00:20:13purely for the fun of it.
00:20:15What happened?
00:20:16It was awful.
00:20:17Rather like a banking transaction, really.
00:20:20You know, putting it in when you've managed to raise it
00:20:23and withdrawing it just when you need it.
00:20:26With Rodney, it was always a short-term loan.
00:20:30Of course, it did have its compensation.
00:20:35The moments of solitude were immensely enjoyable
00:20:39when I was able to escape from Rodney for an hour or two.
00:20:44Unfortunately, they were few and far between.
00:20:49Victoria!
00:20:52Victoria!
00:20:53Gosh, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere.
00:20:56Sorry, Rodney. Didn't you get my note?
00:20:59Oh, yes, I got it all right. I found it on your pillow.
00:21:02I just jolly well didn't understand it, that's all.
00:21:05To H.R.H.
00:21:08Gone for a walk, so F.U.
00:21:12Be back for more later, V.D.
00:21:18To handsome Rodney Harrington.
00:21:22Gone for a walk, so follow up.
00:21:26Be back for more later.
00:21:28Victoria, darling. There, easy.
00:21:32I see. I say, that's jolly clever, Victoria.
00:21:35It's sort of speaking in shorthand.
00:21:37Hey, listen to this. You'll like this.
00:21:41A chap came into my bank the other day.
00:21:45Now, he had been at the R.A.C. having a large G&T with his M.P.,
00:21:50who was an R.C., and a sort of BBC ITV VIP,
00:21:54who was always on the key V about the O.P.C.
00:21:57And he suggested that he see me about buying 40,000 shares BP on HP on the Q.T.
00:22:04And?
00:22:05I said, N.B.G., M.Y.O.B., G.I.G.I.G.
00:22:13Get it? Got it? Good.
00:22:16Rodney, where's your father today?
00:22:19Oh, I didn't think it was that bad.
00:22:22Oh, well, he had to go up to town.
00:22:25There was something brewing about a big takeover bid in the city.
00:22:28Really? Why don't you tell me about it?
00:22:31You know how ignorant I am about these high-powered financial dealings that you're so clever at.
00:22:36Oh. Oh.
00:22:39Oh, do you really think so?
00:22:42Of course, father helps a bit, too.
00:22:44Oh, yes, though he does, my little tiger.
00:22:47But I'm sure it's you who really makes the big, important decisions.
00:22:51Now tell me, who is taking over who?
00:22:54Oh, no, Victoria, I couldn't possibly tell you that.
00:22:57I mean, the shares of the companies involved are going to rock it up when this information comes out.
00:23:02It's all undercover at the moment.
00:23:04Well, why don't we go upstairs and talk about it before dinner?
00:23:09Undercover.
00:23:12Huh?
00:23:33Oh, come on, Victoria, don't be such a tease. Kiss me.
00:23:37In a moment, Rodney.
00:23:40Hey, fool, tell me the names of the companies you were talking about downstairs.
00:23:44No, Victoria, I can't do that.
00:23:46In that case, you can't do that.
00:23:49Oh, Victoria, please.
00:23:51Please?
00:23:53Names.
00:23:55Oh.
00:23:59All right. International carpets and consolidated bedding.
00:24:04I, um, I do hope you like it.
00:24:08Oh, yes, I do.
00:24:11What did you say?
00:24:15What did she say?
00:24:18She said she loves it.
00:24:20Good.
00:24:23Um, you, uh, you can't often get it around here.
00:24:29Oh, no, but I am hoping that might change.
00:24:36What did you say?
00:24:42What did she say?
00:24:44She said it looks good.
00:24:48What did she say?
00:24:50She said it looks like rain.
00:24:52Looks like rain? What's she talking about?
00:24:55Don't ask me, mate. I'm only the butler. I don't get paid for interpreting.
00:24:59Oh.
00:25:17Mr. Harrington.
00:25:19Harrington tells me that you unfortunately lost your job with your previous employers.
00:25:24That is correct, madam.
00:25:26Matter of fact, I was previously an employee of Lady Seymour Offit.
00:25:30Offit? Seymour Offit?
00:25:32Not from where I'm standing.
00:25:40Oh.
00:25:42Oh.
00:25:44Um, well, um, Wilkins, um, what about the next course?
00:25:47What?
00:26:01Well, darling, um, what did you think of the, uh, coco van?
00:26:07Oh, I thought the van was excellent,
00:26:11but, as usual, I could have done with a little more...
00:26:15I'll see what I can do, madam.
00:26:22Um, did she like it?
00:26:24I think she's after a bit more, sir.
00:26:26Well, give it to her if she wants it.
00:26:29Thank you, sir.
00:26:35Oh, I said to him, I said,
00:26:38um, look, old chap,
00:26:40an investment in blue-chip government stock
00:26:45will yield 8% compounded, impounded...
00:26:51Compounded.
00:26:53Compounded over five years' term, which is...
00:27:00Where was I?
00:27:02You were writing out my cheque for Daddy, I think.
00:27:05Was I?
00:27:07Yes, you knew, to help with the fees for my missionary school.
00:27:11Ah, yes.
00:27:13Oh, sorry, look, um,
00:27:15you see, I, I don't think I, um,
00:27:18I don't, um, once again approve this, um, school of yours.
00:27:24I mean, to me, it takes you away from here to us.
00:27:32Oh, but don't be silly, Tiger.
00:27:35I think of you all the time.
00:27:38Um...
00:27:40Another note, darling?
00:27:43Is it just another little note?
00:27:46There, oh, that's it.
00:27:56Oh, darling.
00:27:58I...
00:28:01I look so...
00:28:09Goodnight, sweet prince.
00:28:12Come to think of it,
00:28:15that's just what I may have.
00:28:31Well, that should ensure a nice, even sundown this summer.
00:28:49Wait!
00:28:52Well, not that long.
00:29:01Tell me, why did you bother this time?
00:29:06I...
00:29:08I...
00:29:10I...
00:29:12I...
00:29:14I...
00:29:16I...
00:29:18Tell me, why did you bother this time?
00:29:21Eh?
00:29:23To knock and wait.
00:29:25Oh, well, the thing is,
00:29:28I was brought up proper, see?
00:29:30My mum always said that with a lady,
00:29:33you've got to take your time knocking.
00:29:36How immensely perspicacious of her.
00:29:39Yeah, I thought you might be needing this tonight.
00:29:43Yes, I just might.
00:29:46The right honourable gentleman won't be moving.
00:29:48He'll be there till breakfast time.
00:29:50Is, er...
00:29:52Is there anything else you fancy tonight?
00:29:55Anything else I fancy tonight?
00:29:57Really, your terminology is curious
00:29:59for a butler in such a well-run household.
00:30:02How did you get the job?
00:30:04Oh, I was a bit lucky there.
00:30:06Like these nibs said, my boss was bankrupt
00:30:08and I was out of a job.
00:30:10Your Rodney heard about it.
00:30:12He offered me this position.
00:30:14But you're no more a butler than I am.
00:30:17Course I'm not. That's where the luck comes in.
00:30:20See, I was working in the kitchens, weren't I?
00:30:22Well, wine cellars, really.
00:30:24Dishing out the bottles of wine for them at dinner time.
00:30:27Yeah?
00:30:28Well, when Rodney HH asked me what I'd done,
00:30:30I told him that I was a butler.
00:30:34Next thing I knew, he's offered me this job and here I am.
00:30:39Oh, butler!
00:30:41Oh, how like Rodney!
00:30:43Well, as you're here,
00:30:46you can bottle for me.
00:30:49You'll find one in the wardrobe.
00:30:59I think you've scored here, son.
00:31:01Tonight you could be laying more than the table.
00:31:04And now I shall have to squeeze some juice from you.
00:31:07Eh?
00:31:08Because it must be fresh.
00:31:11What?
00:31:12Orange juice.
00:31:14For Buckface.
00:31:16For Fip?
00:31:17Buckface!
00:31:18You know, champagne and orange juice.
00:31:22Orange juice? I don't think we've got none.
00:31:24Oh, well, try the kitchen.
00:31:27You'll find some there.
00:31:30Orange juice.
00:31:32Orange juice.
00:31:52I've got them.
00:31:56But...
00:31:58they need to be squeezed.
00:32:00They're not the only things.
00:32:02Well, go on, squeeze them.
00:32:31Squeezed orange juice.
00:32:36Oh, but glasses.
00:32:38Eh?
00:32:39We shall need some glasses.
00:32:42Off you go.
00:32:46Glasses.
00:32:48In.
00:32:49In.
00:32:50In.
00:32:51In.
00:32:52In.
00:32:53In.
00:32:54In.
00:32:55In.
00:32:56In.
00:32:57In.
00:32:59In.
00:33:00I've always found...
00:33:02the aristocracy...
00:33:04doesn't have...
00:33:06the steam.
00:33:19For Daddy, just so that he could send me off wherever and whenever I wanted to go.
00:33:24And it was ridiculous.
00:33:26You gave it all up, including Rodney?
00:33:28Oh, of course.
00:33:29And you spend all of your time at home?
00:33:31That's right.
00:33:32What do you do?
00:33:34I read.
00:33:37That's all?
00:33:39I spend all of my time in the library,
00:33:42studying the history of the Stockbridge family.
00:33:45That doesn't bore you?
00:33:48My ancestors were a lot of things,
00:33:51but never boring.
00:33:54Reprehensible, possibly.
00:33:57Rapacious, probably.
00:33:59Romantic, certainly.
00:34:02But boring, never.
00:34:04Romantic?
00:34:06Oh, incredibly romantic.
00:34:09The first countess was abducted by the count on the eve of her impending wedding to a certain Lord Carson.
00:34:16They eloped to Devon in a carriage drawn by four white horses.
00:34:22Oh, that's when I would love to...
00:34:26Yes?
00:34:27Do nothing.
00:34:28Please, continue.
00:34:31Well, that's when I would love to have been alive.
00:34:36That's the era I often dream about.
00:34:39You see yourself as a noblewoman.
00:34:41Of what period? Elizabethan?
00:34:43Oh, no!
00:34:45Not nearly romantic enough.
00:34:47George and the daughter of the Duke of Stockbridge in the reign of George II.
00:34:54That's my fantasy.
00:34:56Fantasy? Tell me about it.
00:35:00Well, it was a period of rakes and scoundrels,
00:35:06of opportunities and opportunists,
00:35:09soldiers of fortune and soldiers of war.
00:35:14I'm still a countess, of course,
00:35:16but I dream that my family is still immensely wealthy
00:35:21and men come wooing me for my money rather than the other way around.
00:35:46Ah!
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00:41:05annecoon
00:41:07themed
00:41:09music
00:41:11music
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00:41:33Now, gentlemen, whosoever wins this jewel shall also win my hat.
00:41:46Well, to be honest...
00:41:48And, of course, all that is behind it.
00:41:52Right.
00:41:54Right.
00:42:03Now, gentlemen, ten pieces.
00:42:12One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight, eight, eight, nine, ten.
00:42:28Now, you shall each have the opportunity of firing once.
00:42:36You shall, of course, not fire at the same time, but must wait for the other to let off his shot first.
00:42:43Now, who is to fire first?
00:42:47Let me think.
00:42:58Lord Woodbridge, you made the challenge, therefore you, Clifton and Cranshaw, shall have the first fire.
00:43:16Ready, gentlemen?
00:43:19Look, there must be another way.
00:43:23Couldn't we just do lots for you?
00:43:29Certainly not.
00:43:31A noble coward, as I thought.
00:43:34Lord Woodbridge, are you ready to receive Lieutenant Cranshaw's fire?
00:43:38Lieutenant Cranshaw?
00:43:40Ready?
00:43:44Fire!
00:43:51No wonder we're losing the war.
00:43:53My shot, I believe.
00:43:56Look, you're right.
00:43:58We should draw lots for her.
00:44:00Whoever's got the longest one gets Victoria.
00:44:02Well, that's what I'm hoping for.
00:44:05Well, come on, gentlemen, get on with it.
00:44:10Lord Woodbridge.
00:44:18It's a cock.
00:44:19He shot the cock.
00:44:31It must take you a long time.
00:44:3732 misses, isn't bad.
00:44:40It's your turn, I think, Cranshaw.
00:44:41Oh, no, old boy, I just shot the groom, remember?
00:44:44Oh, yes, of course you did.
00:44:50This is ridiculous.
00:44:51You're not trying, either of you.
00:44:54Have you forgotten the prize?
00:44:59Is it not a prize worth fighting for?
00:45:03A prize worth dying for?
00:45:11Did you shot, I believe, Lord Woodbridge?
00:45:26Is it in, Cranshaw?
00:45:53For heaven's sakes, man, a woman can't wait forever.
00:45:56Come here.
00:46:02Oh, John, John, stop protesting so.
00:46:07I'm only a woman, after all, and you've been away these two long years.
00:46:12Oh, John, John, kiss me, kiss me, John.
00:46:18John, I can't wait any longer.
00:46:22Oh, John, John, John, John, John.
00:46:30Where is it?
00:46:32Well, as I told you, I was wounded in battle and...
00:46:38Lord Woodbridge?
00:46:41Lord Woodbridge?
00:46:44Why the anticlimax?
00:46:46Oh, but that's half the fun.
00:46:49Keeping the lady's honour intact.
00:46:52It means that she's always available as a pure, innocent creature when the Marquess comes along.
00:46:59Who?
00:47:00The Marquess of Mitzenburg.
00:47:02You see...
00:47:03Yes, yes, of course, we can go into that more fully next time.
00:47:05Thank you, Victoria.
00:47:06Please come again.
00:47:43Case history number 2527, Sandra.
00:47:48An extremely interesting subject.
00:47:52Although she desperately wants to be accepted as an ordinary middle-class housewife,
00:47:57she has, in fact, never been married.
00:48:00Consequently, she's invented a husband and a family
00:48:03and has now come to the stage where she cannot separate fact from fiction.
00:48:25My research shows that she was jilted by her lover on the eve of their wedding
00:48:29and that he ran off with the best man.
00:48:44She's never been able to come to terms with this.
00:48:46And in her own mind, the wedding took place,
00:48:48and they have two children, a house in Surbiton and a cocker spaniel.
00:49:02In fact, she lives with her mother in Watford.
00:49:04It is essential to treat the existence of her husband as a reality
00:49:08in order to get her to continue her treatment.
00:49:17Today's appointment, her eighth visit, is for 3.30 p.m.
00:49:47I'm a little early today.
00:50:08I hope that's all right.
00:50:09Yes, yes, that's fine.
00:50:10It gives us more time together.
00:50:12Do sit down.
00:50:14I won't keep you a moment.
00:50:28Been shopping?
00:50:29Oh, I was just looking at these things.
00:50:32I thought all you young women of today wore tights.
00:50:35Oh, we do.
00:50:37It's just that I saw these in the window of one of those shops in Soho
00:50:41and I don't know how I plucked up the courage, but I went in and bought them.
00:50:45They're not for me, though.
00:50:46Oh, I see.
00:50:47No, they're for Colin, my husband.
00:50:51Your husband likes to wear women's clothes?
00:50:53Of course he doesn't.
00:50:55But he does like to see me wearing things like this.
00:50:58Colin's always hated tights,
00:51:00and I promised him that on my next trip to London,
00:51:03I would get a pair of nice silk stockings.
00:51:08Look, they've got seams.
00:51:11How deliciously decadent.
00:51:13Why does your husband like stockings so much?
00:51:16Oh, come on now.
00:51:17You must be joking.
00:51:19I mean, haven't you ever run your hand up a stocking leg?
00:51:23May we talk about you?
00:51:25Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
00:51:27It's all right.
00:51:28Your husband finds them stimulating.
00:51:30Oh, yes, I suppose he must do.
00:51:32Not that he ever needs stimulating.
00:51:33He never thinks of anything else.
00:51:36Look, I'm in the kitchen, for instance,
00:51:38bending over the oven to see if my Yorkshire puddings have risen,
00:51:41and he comes in.
00:51:42Next thing I know, he's got both his hands up my skirt,
00:51:44and he's putting the meat in.
00:51:46Your husband is highly sexed.
00:51:48Oh, you can say that again.
00:51:50Not that I'm complaining.
00:51:52Well, then why the suspenders?
00:51:53Ah, well, you see,
00:51:55they are going to be an anniversary present for him
00:51:59to remind him of the day he proposed to me.
00:52:02Ah, I see.
00:52:05Can you tell me about that?
00:52:07Well, yes, you see,
00:52:08I first met Colin when I joined a large pharmaceutical manufacturing firm.
00:52:13Colin was a research chemist, and I joined as a trainee.
00:52:18Mr. Foster, come and look at this chemical grouping.
00:52:21It's fascinating.
00:52:25Even then he was more interested in biological groping than chemical grouping.
00:52:30And you objected to this?
00:52:33Well, of course I did.
00:52:35I mean, I had only been there for two days.
00:52:38Anyway, the girls had all warned me against him.
00:52:41Well, go on.
00:52:42Well, every time he came anywhere near you,
00:52:44he had one hand here, the other hand there,
00:52:46the other hand somewhere else.
00:52:48The handsome chemist we used to call him.
00:52:50And did you continue to reject his advances?
00:52:53Yes, I did.
00:52:55Then he stopped.
00:52:57I got quite offended,
00:52:58so I decided that the next time he tried, I would change my tactics.
00:53:05He had asked me to stay behind one evening
00:53:07to do some overtime on a project I was working on.
00:53:10Unfortunately, he couldn't stay for as long as he hoped.
00:53:14Well, where is he now?
00:53:16Are you sure that nobody else can do it?
00:53:18No, right.
00:53:19OK, sir, I'll do it.
00:53:21Thank you. Bye-bye.
00:53:23Bloody hell!
00:53:25No, I'm sorry, Sandra.
00:53:26I've wasted your evening by asking you to work late tonight.
00:53:28Professor Langton is due to give a lecture at Manchester University
00:53:31and he can't make it, so he's asked me, no correction,
00:53:33all of me, to go in his place.
00:53:35I'm sorry.
00:53:37Good night, Richard.
00:53:38Good night.
00:53:39Good night.
00:53:40Good night.
00:53:41Good night.
00:53:42Good night.
00:53:43Good night.
00:53:44Good night.
00:53:45Good night.
00:53:46Oh, never mind.
00:53:47I'll work on for a bit anyway.
00:53:49Yeah, and I'd work on you for a bit too,
00:53:51if I thought it might do some good.
00:53:53You don't want to be late for your lecture, do you?
00:53:55Oh, no.
00:53:57What's the subject?
00:53:59Oh, I forgot to ask.
00:54:00Good night.
00:54:01Nobody listens anyway.
00:54:02Good night, love.
00:54:03Good night.
00:54:04See you in the morning.
00:54:07I remember that it was a very hot summer that year
00:54:11and I couldn't bear to wear even a thin blouse under my uniform.
00:54:15I decided to freshen up before going home,
00:54:18so I went to one of the sinks for a quick wash.
00:54:24Oh, my God!
00:54:25Oh!
00:54:26Oh!
00:54:27You frighten me to death.
00:54:29I didn't hear you come in.
00:54:31I could see you were busy.
00:54:33I thought you were in a hurry.
00:54:34Oh, I am.
00:54:35I forgot my papers.
00:54:36I just remember what the subject was.
00:54:38What?
00:54:39The effects of the naked female body
00:54:41on the fibres of Y-fronts.
00:54:43Oh, wow.
00:54:44Sandra, I'm crazy about you.
00:54:46I love you.
00:54:47I love you.
00:54:48Oh!
00:54:49Oh, me too, Colin.
00:54:50Really?
00:54:51Do you love you?
00:54:52You!
00:54:53I love you, silly.
00:54:54Oh, Sandra.
00:54:55Come on.
00:54:56Get up on the bed.
00:54:57Come on.
00:54:58Come on.
00:54:59Come on.
00:55:00Come on.
00:55:01Come on.
00:55:02Get up on the bench.
00:55:03What?
00:55:04I know I'll work at this bench.
00:55:05I dream of having you off for dinner.
00:55:07Please get up.
00:55:08Oh!
00:55:09Oh!
00:55:10Was that your lecture?
00:55:12Let him wait.
00:55:13Let him wait.
00:55:14Oh!
00:55:15Sandra, will you marry me?
00:55:16What?
00:55:17I thought you just wanted a quick session.
00:55:19I do.
00:55:20I do.
00:55:21But I thought you might say no.
00:55:22Do I look like a reluctant virgin?
00:55:23No, we can have it both ways.
00:55:24A quick one now and a wedding later.
00:55:27Oh, lovely.
00:55:29Oh!
00:55:30Oh!
00:55:31Oh!
00:55:32Oh!
00:55:33Oh!
00:55:34Oh!
00:55:35Oh!
00:55:36Oh!
00:55:37Oh!
00:55:38I can't get it in.
00:55:39I'm not surprised.
00:55:40I've still got me tights on.
00:55:43Oh!
00:55:44Ah!
00:55:45Ah!
00:55:46Ah!
00:55:47Oh!
00:55:48Oh!
00:55:49Oh!
00:55:50Oh!
00:55:51He dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm in two places.
00:55:55Hence the stockings.
00:55:57On every date after that, he would always check before we went out
00:56:00running his hand up my leg to see I wasn't wearing tights.
00:56:03I fooled him one night, though.
00:56:05I didn't put on anything underneath.
00:56:07What happened?
00:56:08We didn't go out.
00:56:09This practice stopped after you were married, I take it?
00:56:12Well, no, not at first.
00:56:13I mean, it was our little game, you see,
00:56:15but later on, after the first baby was born,
00:56:18well, then I went back to wearing tights.
00:56:20After the first baby?
00:56:21Mm.
00:56:22I see.
00:56:23Did this have any effect on your husband's feelings towards you?
00:56:25How do you mean?
00:56:26Well, did he still make love to you as often?
00:56:29Oh, well, of course he did.
00:56:31I mean, whatever I wear doesn't make any difference.
00:56:34I'm sure that he thinks that having it off will be an Olympic event one day
00:56:39and that he just keeps in training.
00:56:41He sees me as a sort of a walking, no-lying-down version of the marathon.
00:56:48I wouldn't mind, but I don't have to do anything, you see.
00:56:51I don't understand.
00:56:53Well, I don't have to encourage him in any way.
00:56:56Get him all worked up.
00:56:57Get him panting for it.
00:56:59And you would like to?
00:57:00Oh, yes.
00:57:02I mean, take last week, for example.
00:57:06I spent over an hour in the bath.
00:57:08I put on new perfume and a new nightie
00:57:11and then, pow, in he comes, leaps on me,
00:57:15and, well, you know.
00:57:18Yes.
00:57:20Well, the next day, I was cleaning up the boiler
00:57:22and Colin comes home unexpectedly.
00:57:24There I was, filthy dirty with my head stuck up the flue pipe
00:57:28and, pow, he's at it again.
00:57:30I mean, it makes no difference, you see.
00:57:32He just uses my body.
00:57:35And you feel that you're losing your femininity?
00:57:39Oh, exactly.
00:57:42Oh, you do understand a woman, don't you?
00:57:45Yes, may we continue?
00:57:46How would you like the problem to be resolved?
00:57:48Well, I would like to see the roles reverse.
00:57:51Get me to turn Colin on.
00:57:53Give him the hots for me.
00:57:55Make him wild with passion before he even got anywhere near me.
00:58:00Describe it to me.
00:58:02How?
00:58:03Well, I imagine that everything starts off very normally
00:58:08and I work up to it.
00:58:10Where would you like it?
00:58:13On the table, as usual, love.
00:58:15Now, that would normally be enough on its own.
00:58:18That looks nice.
00:58:20I hope you like it.
00:58:22I've made a bit of a cock-up of it, I'm afraid.
00:58:30Tastes all right to me.
00:58:32Oh, pass the sauce, please, love.
00:58:34Oh.
00:58:41Come on.
00:58:42Anything else?
00:58:43No, it's all right.
00:58:46Anything else?
00:58:47No, it's fine, thanks.
00:58:54Would you like a bit of mine?
00:59:02If you're not hungry, love, wasting up won't knock.
00:59:06Would you like another plate?
00:59:09No, this one's fine.
00:59:16Now it's eating on its own. Intercepted by Edison.
00:59:21King again. United still after him.
00:59:30Two lumps.
00:59:32Did you put two lumps in?
00:59:34Now it's King flipping the tackle well past Thompson.
00:59:39Trying to get by.
00:59:41Trying to get by, John, but he's beaten there.
00:59:43Well beaten.
00:59:47He's been dominating there.
00:59:49He's been brought down.
01:00:11Whee!
01:00:20I thought you'd taken that to the cleaners. You know that I'll need it next week.
01:00:26Hello.
01:00:27Oh, big boy.
01:00:29How do you like to make a lady happy?
01:00:32Careful, love, you'll crease me trousers.
01:00:35Or if you want to forget the happy.
01:00:38How do you like to make a lady happy?
01:00:41Do you fancy a game of cards?
01:00:51Right, what do you want to play?
01:00:53How about a game of strip poker?
01:00:55Sandra, you can't play poker. Come on, what shall we play?
01:00:59Snap.
01:01:00Snap?
01:01:01Yes!
01:01:03All right.
01:01:07Ready?
01:01:11Snap.
01:01:13Oh, dear. I lose that one, don't I?
01:01:17What are you doing?
01:01:19Well, I may not be able to play strip poker, but I can play strip snap.
01:01:23Strip snap?
01:01:25Oh, come on, don't be a spoilsport.
01:01:31All right.
01:01:41Come on, it's snap again.
01:02:04Look, this is ridiculous. You're not even trying, are you? You haven't won one hand yet.
01:02:08What's wrong?
01:02:10Well, it's snap again.
01:02:12Snap again!
01:02:14All right, I win. Come on, it's time for bed.
01:02:19Look, turn the light out before you go to bed.
01:02:39What are you doing?
01:02:56Here you are, here am I.
01:03:00We can't let this chance go by.
01:03:03Let this chance go by.
01:03:06I must have my baby's youth.
01:03:11I must come, you must stay.
01:03:14Cos I must have it away.
01:03:18Must have it away.
01:03:21Cos I feel like a nice lonely soul.
01:03:27Soul you will not give me what is mine.
01:03:32OK, I must take it.
01:03:35Remove this.
01:03:40And now this.
01:03:46You would like to take my clothes off?
01:03:51OK, lie down.
01:03:55When I told you not to move, I meant it.
01:04:03When I told you to lie down, I meant all of you.
01:04:11I see you have raised a protest.
01:04:15Then you must take the first step.
01:04:19You have raised a protest.
01:04:22Then you must take the full punishment.
01:04:26Oh, no.
01:04:28Look, anybody's going to take the punishment.
01:04:31It's you!
01:04:35Lovely!
01:04:37It still ends with him making love to you.
01:04:39Of course it does. I never intended to deny him.
01:04:42Just to tease you?
01:04:44Well, yes, it's, like you said, femininity.
01:04:48You said I was very feminine, didn't you?
01:04:50Yes, that's right, I did.
01:04:52Well, then, that's that.
01:04:55What shall we talk about next?
01:04:57Well, actually, you've overrun your time already. I'm sorry.
01:05:01You want me to go, don't you? You don't like me.
01:05:04Of course I do, Sandra. It's just that I do have other people to see.
01:05:07Please come again next week.
01:05:09Oh! Oh, yes.
01:05:13I'll get my husband to look after the two children.
01:05:28Nurse, are you there?
01:05:30Yes, sir.
01:05:31Ah, good morning.
01:05:32Morning.
01:05:33Come in, will you, please?
01:05:34Yes, sir.
01:05:36Ah, come in. Oh, good, you're ready for those notes.
01:05:39Fine. Sit down, will you?
01:05:42Right?
01:05:44Yes.
01:05:45I suspect on emotionally unstable women
01:05:49that can be caused by men in a position of trust.
01:05:56The relationship between a doctor and a patient...
01:05:59Excuse me, sir, you haven't forgotten your appointment with Marion, have you?
01:06:03Marion? Marion?
01:06:05Case 2310. Sexual relations with relations.
01:06:09A depressive...
01:06:11Yes, thank you, nurse. Oh, is she here now?
01:06:12Oh, yes.
01:06:13All right, send her in, will you? We'll finish this up later.
01:06:20Marion.
01:06:24Ah, Marion, come in. Sit down.
01:06:27Hello.
01:06:32Well, how are we today?
01:06:34Oh, OK.
01:06:35Just OK. You seem rather elated.
01:06:38I've come again.
01:06:41I can see that. You're here.
01:06:43No, no. He put it in again.
01:06:46I'm sorry, I'm lost. Who put what in again?
01:06:49Mr Johnson.
01:06:50Mr Johnson?
01:06:52Yes. He put the advert in the paper again, and I answered it again.
01:06:57And the same thing happened.
01:06:58Marion, have you seen your mother recently?
01:07:01He decided to give me a shorthand test.
01:07:03I think we ought to talk about your mother, but where are you living now?
01:07:06I could tell he fancied me.
01:07:08It was those eyes.
01:07:10Rather like yours, they were.
01:07:15Of course, he couldn't resist me.
01:07:17And we did it again.
01:07:20Under the desk.
01:07:23Under the desk.
01:07:26Nurse! Nurse! In here, quick!
01:07:29It was wonderful. I'm going again next week.
01:07:33Marion, you must control yourself.
01:07:36Marion, look, please.
01:07:39Now, now, Marion, we mustn't get carried away, must we?
01:07:43After all, we don't want him struck off, do we?
01:07:47For taking advantage of pretty young patients.
01:07:55Right, Marion, see you next...
01:07:58Yes, fine, thank you.
01:08:05I think she's improving.
01:08:07Ah, look here, nurse, don't get the wrong impression.
01:08:10She's just very, um, very...
01:08:12Pretty.
01:08:13Yes, pretty. Good heavens, nurse, what do you think I am?
01:08:16Who's next?
01:08:17Oh, Lady Stockbridge. Case number 2420.
01:08:20Ancestral problems.
01:08:22I ought to mention...
01:08:23Thank you, nurse, I can remember some case histories.
01:08:25Don't say I didn't warn you.
01:08:27Warn me?
01:08:29Warn me about what?
01:08:38Oh.
01:08:39Oh, you've fallen for me.
01:08:42How sweet.
01:08:43Uh, Lady Victoria, I'm sorry, I'm somewhat thrown.
01:08:46And I'd forgotten that I'd had the couch moved.
01:08:49It doesn't look as though it's been moved to me.
01:08:52Are you all right?
01:08:53Yes, yes, I'm fine. Would you like to sit down?
01:08:59Tell me, why are you wearing those clothes?
01:09:02Balls.
01:09:03Well, that was a perfectly civilized question.
01:09:06Oh, no, I mean fancy dress balls.
01:09:09I've been advised one this week and I've just been to the costumers to hire my gown.
01:09:15Do you like it?
01:09:17Yes, yes, most becoming.
01:09:19So, you're getting out and about. Well, that's good.
01:09:22Tell me, who is escorting you to these, um, functions?
01:09:25Oh, a dashing military man.
01:09:29You'd like him.
01:09:31Lieutenant Crenshaw.
01:09:33Lieutenant Crenshaw?
01:09:35He's awfully good looking.
01:09:38And I do hope he's a good dancer as well.
01:09:41Tell me, Victoria, have you seen your father recently?
01:09:43I imagine he's frightfully good at the military two-step.
01:09:49How's your two-step?
01:09:52Um, look, Victoria, we haven't got time for all this. Please.
01:09:56Oh, Lieutenant, tell me, is your war wound any better?
01:10:03Now, listen, Victoria, I am not Lieutenant Crenshaw. I am your psychiatrist.
01:10:08Well, in that case, I've got something to show you.
01:10:14Look.
01:10:15Oh, my God. Now, look, Victoria, please be careful.
01:10:19It's not loaded, is it?
01:10:21Of course not. You'll be silly.
01:10:23Well, anyway, you'd better give it to me.
01:10:25I knew it's not your shop.
01:10:27Victoria, give me the gun.
01:10:33I'm sure he won't miss it.
01:10:36Oh, but I do.
01:10:38Oh, John.
01:10:40John. John.
01:10:42Oh, John. John.
01:10:45John.
01:10:46My, my, we are having problems today, aren't we?
01:10:50If we could manage to keep our hands off the patients, it would help.
01:10:54But you don't understand, nurse. She, she shot it off.
01:10:57Well, perhaps that will slow you down a little.
01:11:00Might I suggest a cold towel wrapped firmly around the head for an hour or two to cool you off?
01:11:05Now, look here, nurse. I will not be spoken to.
01:11:17Ah, nurse, I, I don't think I'll see any more patients today.
01:11:21Please cancel all other appointments.
01:11:23Yes, I think that would be advisable.
01:11:26Today does appear to have been something of a struggle for you.
01:11:29Go home and sleep it off.
01:11:31Yes, thank you, nurse.
01:11:34Cooey, it's only me.
01:11:37I just remembered something I wanted to tell the doctor.
01:11:39I'm afraid the doctor can't see you, Sandra.
01:11:41But I've come back specially.
01:11:42I'm very sorry, Sandra.
01:11:44No, no, that's all right, nurse. I'll see Sandra, but no one else. Understood?
01:11:48I'm not sure I understand anything anymore.
01:11:55You've been shopping again?
01:11:57No.
01:11:58Oh, good.
01:11:59No, I was only just going to be...
01:12:00The coat! You brought the coat.
01:12:02You expect me to wear this, don't you, eh?
01:12:04I want to put it on.
01:12:05Well, I won't, do you hear? I won't.
01:12:07You'd like me to make an exhibition of myself, wouldn't you, eh?
01:12:09I'd tout the little fantasies for you.
01:12:11Well, I refuse, do you hear? I absolutely refuse.
01:12:13I will not play these silly games with you.
01:12:15Well, no, I mean, I was just going to...
01:12:16You want me to expose myself, don't you, eh?
01:12:18Ah!
01:12:19Yes, I'd tout the little perversions.
01:12:21Well, I won't, do you hear?
01:12:22That's what you want, isn't it?
01:12:24No.
01:12:26I was just going to take you to the cleaners.
01:12:30Oh.
01:12:31Oh, sorry, Sandra.
01:12:33What came over me.
01:12:34I must apologise.
01:12:37Oh, look, don't leave just yet.
01:12:39Um...
01:12:40No.
01:12:41I don't want to stay here with you.
01:12:42I'm going back to my mum.
01:12:44These people are normal in Watford.
01:12:50I think you ought to see a doctor.
01:12:56Oh.
01:13:18Sir, now we're exposing ourselves to patients.
01:13:21My, my, doctor, this sexual therapy isn't having a very good effect on you, is it?
01:13:25Perhaps you should take up caroperty and work your way up.
01:13:28After a while, you'll reach the knees
01:13:30and then you can move on to higher things.
01:13:33Now, look, nurse...
01:13:34Oh, calm, doctor.
01:13:36I'm not silly.
01:13:37I know why you wanted to cancel those appointments.
01:13:40It's me, isn't it?
01:13:42You've always desired me.
01:13:44You've always wanted me.
01:13:46Now, just a minute.
01:13:47Give me my glasses.
01:13:49What are you doing?
01:13:52Oh!
01:13:53Oh!
01:13:58Oh!
01:14:03Oh!
01:14:07Oh!
01:14:09Oh!
01:14:10Oh!
01:14:14I can't take any more!
01:14:16I can't stand it!
01:14:17Leave me alone!
01:14:18You're all mad, all of you!
01:14:20Leave me!
01:14:42Hello, get me Dr Gill, will you?
01:14:47Oh, hello, Dr Gill.
01:14:49Oh, Nurse Addison here.
01:14:51That's right, Dr Boyd's nurse.
01:14:53Could I make an appointment for him to see you on Monday?
01:14:56I...
01:14:58I think he needs a little...
01:15:00help.

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