Frasier Season 10 Episode 2 Enemy At The Gate
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00:00The phone company says they will be at your door between the hours of 9 and noon.
00:04They have entered into a verbal contract.
00:07They show up at 1247, they are in breach of said contract.
00:12Again, I agree.
00:14Well, I just shouldn't have waited for them, that's all.
00:16Now my entire day is thrown off.
00:19Still, I appreciate your taking the time to give me a lift.
00:23Yes, well, when you informed me you had to get to the promenade shops post-haste,
00:27I assumed it was an actual emergency.
00:31Not to return a cage for some silly lovebirds.
00:36It may not be on the order of a falling pent cuff,
00:40but until I get back home with something more secure,
00:42little Daphne and Niles are living under a colander.
00:48Dear God, don't tell me you actually named them after yourselves.
00:54Big mistake, I admit.
00:56This morning when Daphne escaped, I just kept thinking,
00:58what if she's hurt, or lost, or eaten by a cat?
01:04Or worse, what if she meets a bird who's more birdly than Niles,
01:09but without the substance?
01:12Trust me, no one is more birdly than Niles.
01:19What is with all this traffic?
01:22Tell me, don't these people have jobs?
01:25Some of us have a radio show to do.
01:28Relax, you're not on for another hour and a half.
01:30Well, that can't be right.
01:36Oh, dear God, my show's on in 15 minutes.
01:41No idea it was so late.
01:43Hey, hey, you can just drop me out front, I'll get a capsule.
01:45I'm afraid I'll have to.
01:46Damn it, Dad did this.
01:49Tell you, he gets in here, he wants to hear his radio station,
01:51he starts pushing buttons like a lab rat on amphetamines.
01:55Oh, my God.
02:12Excuse me, we've changed our minds, we won't be parking.
02:18Two dollars.
02:20No, you see, we just came in for a second and decided not to park.
02:23Just check the time on the ticket.
02:25Look, it's two dollars for any portion of 20 minutes.
02:28One second, 10 minutes, whatever.
02:30Unless you go over, then it's two more dollars.
02:36Forgive me, perhaps I'm not being clear.
02:39You see, I mistakenly pulled in here, decided not to park,
02:43and now I'd like to just get out.
02:45Two dollars.
02:46I have two dollars.
02:48Put that away.
02:50Sorry, your mistake, you pay.
02:52That's policy.
02:53Oh, really?
02:55It just so happens that I have a few policies of my own,
02:58and one of them is that I do not pay good money for nothing.
03:02Well, not for nothing, but your car's taking up space on the property.
03:06That's not parking.
03:07It's parked to me.
03:08But it's been continually in motion.
03:10It's stopped.
03:11But it's still running.
03:13It's parked.
03:14Look, the fee is two dollars, there's nothing you can do.
03:17Is that so?
03:20Did you hear that?
03:22Yes, and it makes sense to me.
03:26Fine.
03:29Have it your way.
03:36What are we doing, Frazier?
03:39If I'm going to be paying for parking, we are going to get our 20 minutes worth.
03:44Then he may have my two dollars.
03:56Okay, what we need now is a side piece with some ear and a little bit of sky.
04:06Ear with sky.
04:10Ear with sky.
04:12Well, this is it.
04:14Sorry it's taken me so long to pick up the last of my things.
04:17Oh, no problem.
04:20Frazier's not having the carpet people here till Friday.
04:23Oh, really?
04:24Oh, really.
04:25When it was my room, he said the carpet's good for another 20 years.
04:28Yeah, well, now it's going to be a reading sanctuary.
04:33He's turning my room into a library.
04:35No, he made it very clear it was a reading sanctuary.
04:40A library implies sharing.
04:45I think there are some pieces missing from this one.
04:48You always say that.
04:49Keep looking.
04:51Why do I even do this stupid thing?
04:53Some puzzle is a picture of what it's going to look like right on the box.
04:57You always say that, too.
05:03What's wrong, Eddie?
05:04Come, boy.
05:07He must know you're moving.
05:08He gets this way whenever I bring out my suitcase.
05:11He knows I'm going away and he starts raising hell.
05:14Boy, come.
05:17Yeah, that's what it looks like.
05:20Well, there's nothing to get upset about.
05:22I'll be here every day for your physical therapy.
05:24You hear that, boy?
05:26She'll be here every day to torch your master.
05:34What should I do?
05:36Maybe you'd distract him if you made me lunch.
05:47Hold it, man!
05:49Dumbass!
05:52Other murderers are getting angry.
05:55They weren't so short-sighted.
05:56They see that I'm doing this for their own good.
05:59By correcting people's grammar.
06:00I don't do it to be popular.
06:04I support that.
06:05But in this case, I strongly feel we should pay the money and get out of here before there's violence.
06:10Oh, Niles, they can get around us if they want to.
06:12So what if it takes them an extra two seconds?
06:15So what if it takes them an extra two seconds?
06:17It's a small price to pay for making this a better world.
06:20Okay, but we're also inconveniencing ourselves.
06:24Niles, you'll get home to your stupid, filthy birds soon enough.
06:29I meant that your radio show is about to start.
06:34Dumbass.
06:39Right.
06:42Where the hell's the doc?
06:44He still isn't here.
06:45It's almost showtime.
06:47I swear to God nobody here has any discipline.
06:50I'm starting to think I've been too loose with the leash.
06:55I mean, gee whiz, I try to make everyone happy and all it gets me is a twisted gut.
07:02Well, no more.
07:04This Saturday we're going to have a staff meeting.
07:06We're going to hash out some rules.
07:08I'm busy Saturday.
07:10Well, it's not mandatory.
07:14Ross Doyle.
07:16Fraser, where are you?
07:20What?
07:22He's at some mall.
07:23He's still got ten minutes of parking left.
07:26You know, you don't have to use the full twenty minutes.
07:31He knows that.
07:33What are you doing?
07:38What?
07:39You lost me after Gandhi.
07:41Just stall.
07:44I don't know.
07:45Read some fan mail if you have to.
07:49There must be.
07:52Check in my inbox.
07:55Oh, never mind.
07:57I'll be there when I get there.
07:59And when I do, I will have a little speech for my listeners about the power of one.
08:07Sounds like everybody's having a good time.
08:09Sounds like everybody's a winner today.
08:14Are you going to snide?
08:16Because that's not helping.
08:19I will just go and return my birdcage.
08:21Marshall, close that door.
08:24You can't desert me in the middle of a fight.
08:27I'm not deserting you.
08:29It would appear to others that you are, thereby weakening my position.
08:33Please, you must stay.
08:39What the hell is going on here?
08:41I'm glad you asked me that question.
08:43I am making a stand against this garage that holds me, my passenger, and my automobile hostage for a parking fee, which I do not owe.
08:53You don't want to pay two dollars.
08:56I already told you, it's not about the money.
08:59In fact, to prove it's not about the money, I will donate two dollars to the charity of your choice.
09:05Only rich people have time for this kind of crap.
09:08Just pay the two bucks, Mr. BMW.
09:11My income and the style of car which I drive are irrelevant.
09:16Isn't that so, Nas?
09:17Yes, I drive a Mercedes and I would have paid ten minutes ago.
09:23I told my boss I have a non-pay.
09:27You see, Nas, this happens so often, they actually have a name for us.
09:31More than one, I bet.
09:33Just sign the form where it says unable to pay to send us a check.
09:39I'm certainly not going to send you a check.
09:42Look, most people don't.
09:43Just sign the form so I can get this gate open.
09:47Oh, Frazier, it's an out. You should take it.
09:49Nas, I refuse to sign anything that says I am unable to pay. It's untrue.
09:54Look, I really don't care, Jack.
09:56I just gotta get this lane reopened.
09:58Now, it's either two dollars or the form so I can put it in my drawer.
10:02You know my terms. You will receive your money when the twenty minutes is up.
10:06Fine. Then I'll put in my own money.
10:09No, no, you can't do that.
10:10Too late. It's on me. Go ahead, Mr. Beamer.
10:14Don't you call me that. You put that down right now. We're not going anywhere.
10:18Ah!
10:21I can't do this anymore, Frazier.
10:26Excuse me.
10:32What are you talking about?
10:34Do you really want justice or is this just an outlet for your bad mood?
10:39Oh, fine. Just go.
10:41And bravo for staying a whole ten minutes.
10:46Goodbye.
10:52I don't blame you for bailing on that idiot.
10:56He's not an idiot. He's just passionate.
11:00I think he's an idiot.
11:03Suit yourself, idiot.
11:09That idiot happens to be my brother.
11:30.
11:46Don't these people realize I'm on their side?
11:49I don't think they care so long as you're in their land.
11:54I'm doing this for all of you, don't you understand?
11:58no no come out here and explain it to us don't even think about it frazier that man wants to hit you
12:06i'm afraid
12:08please i am not the enemy i am your champion well we got places to be so move your ass
12:30but i'm doing this for all of us if you want to do something for me get out of the way
12:35yeah save the protest for your own driveway if you can only see things from my point of view
12:40then i'm sure you'd agree with me you'll see i pulled into this garage decided not to park
12:45and now i want to leave but they still insist on collecting two dollars is that fair has the
12:51service been provided even if it's a ripoff it's better than causing a big stink ah what is it
13:00i say no i say we've been tried upon long enough by people who are supposed to be providing us
13:05services by the postman who makes up our deliveries by the telephone repairman who
13:10swear to be there between nine and noon they yet arrive at 12 47 when there's nothing but a towel
13:18and a head full of shampoo well enough i invoke my right to peaceful protest
13:29civil disobedience is a cornerstone of this country for it is how the common man is heard
13:37can you tow it not with them in
13:44well that's just tough luck because we ain't budging you have to call the police good idea
13:58i think i've made a mistake
14:10maybe it's time to back down i'm not sure that i can i am right after all my principles are
14:17holding me captive your principles may have started this but it's your rigidity that's
14:22kept it going my rigidity the rigid ones are those who operate this garage and enforce such
14:28inflexible policies you've been given more than one opportunity to leave without paying
14:34yes but that's not the point they have to know why i won't pay which you could explain in a
14:38letter but no you won't be satisfied until everyone either agrees with you or has suffered for failing
14:45to i really think so i do well
14:57that's quite an indictment
15:02ever really thought of myself as uncompromising oh not in a bad way
15:10i'm not sure i like this side of myself
15:12so you could still change course
15:17if you can leave here without getting your full 20 minutes worth you'll be the bigger person for
15:22it yes but then these taunting motorists won't know that i'm being the bigger person they'll
15:28think they've gotten the better of me or that i'm afraid to be arrested the bigger person doesn't
15:32worry about what other people think damn i do want to be the bigger person it's just so hard
15:43you know we wouldn't be in this mess if it went for you in that ridiculous bird cage
15:49oh come on i can only change one character floor at a time
15:57you were right about distracting him he seems fine now but as soon as you head
16:01for that door again he's gonna have a fit let me get you some dog treats to give him
16:13so
16:17i don't understand i may sleep across town but i still see him all the time well you gotta look
16:24at it from eddie's point of view this person who's meant so much to him isn't gonna be living here
16:30anymore for nine years and felt the comfort of knowing you were here every night making him his
16:38breakfast every morning he's come to depend on that now everything's changed
16:53oh would you look at that he's probably gonna get under my bed to pout i think he'll adjust
17:01well who knows old dogs get used to a certain routine
17:09and as tough as they might look they get lonely but i guess he'll adjust eventually
17:18you know maybe i haven't been coming around enough lately
17:22why don't you and i make a regular appointment to walk in together oh geez that'd be great i
17:29have to check with him but he's free most of the time why don't we start tomorrow morning
17:37that way i can have breakfast with the old boy too
17:42he'd really like that
17:47so
17:57then on friday it'll be fish sticks with tater tots and a fruit cup
18:07that takes care of the saint victoria's elementary lunch schedule for the next month
18:12we'll be back to tackle saint victor's after this
18:21holy buckets what are you doing
18:25take some calls i'm not a shrink i can't tell people what to do yeah that always stops you
18:32women just rap about something open up a discussion you know the station id is over go
18:43hello again everybody well we're still waiting on dr crane so until he gets here
18:52let's hear what's on your minds you know the number give me a call
18:57hello caller you're on the air hi roz this is mark from bainbridge and i made a big mistake go on
19:16i slept with my boss now things at work are super uncomfortable well mark i feel for you
19:26i've been there myself
19:30what you ought to do is just talk it out with your boss you went through this too
19:36yeah and it was weird for a while but now things are just fine
19:46who else out there needs my advice let me hear your calls
19:50you're on the air how can i solve your problem actually i was calling about something else but
19:57when you say now things are fine it sounds like you still work with this person what
20:05no no i worked with this person a long long time ago then why'd you say now
20:16because i don't speak so good
20:24and isn't dr crane your boss well no i like to think of fraser is a colleague so now he's fraser
20:33so now he's fraser no uh yeah i mean it's just that i i think you did
20:54fraser you are not a prisoner of your character you can decide right now that you're going to be
21:00the flexible one here pay the money and go i could break my pattern yes i could just pay the
21:09money without proving to everyone that i'm right without teaching them a lesson exactly you can do
21:15it sir
21:24i'll have you know i am leaving with time to spare congratulations and since you cannot
21:31understand the moral code for which i stayed here i'm sure you must be perplexed that i am leaving
21:38before the 20 minutes is up it's nice to say i am the bigger man for it and you and your nefarious
21:49policy may now carry on in what is highway robbery in the truest sense of the expression
22:00here is your ticket and
22:02your ill-gotten two dollars
22:12four dollars
22:16four dollars you went over 20 minutes it's two dollars for each portion of 20 minutes
22:23but i already backed down you would have spared me the speech you would have made it out in time
22:29for a break huh
22:34indeed
22:42hold on miles
22:49i can't believe it i mean i always felt some chemistry between you and the doc but
23:00wowza this can't hurt ratings calm down kitty it isn't true yeah right
23:09hey you didn't do it here at the station did you of course not hey as long as it wasn't on my couch
23:16who gives hey the commercial's over and we're back with our new topic cats or dogs which is
23:27better hello caller you're on the air this is jerry from elliot bay which do you have jerry
23:36cat or a dog i'm so sorry i really screwed up it's all right boss i'll take care of everything
23:43i just want to know what's going on with dr crane yes well i'll bet you do jerry dr fraser crane here
23:51seattle i'm sorry i'm late it sounds as if ross has informed you of my exploits he hasn't said
23:58much we'd like to hear from you well it wasn't my finest hour
24:05let's just say that i got in there realized i made a mistake and then tried like hell to get out
24:13fraser there was a lot of shouting and then a line started to form behind me
24:24fortunately my brother was with me for moral support and well let's face it somebody to talk
24:31to you know you'd be amazed how long 20 minutes could be when you're watching the clock
24:38at least in the end i got out of there without paying the four dollars
24:54hey baby i hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs oh my
25:01oh my and maybe i seem a bit confused well maybe but i got you pegged
25:12but i don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:19they're calling again
25:20and good night everybody