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Short filmTranscript
00:00I'll stop this now, please!
00:02And I'll give you the boxers.
00:04It's not interesting.
00:06It's got the reed on.
00:08Top me up, too. Come on.
00:10Maureen, go and tell that girl over there.
00:12We're closing in a minute.
00:14How am I supposed to do that?
00:16I've been trying to talk to her all night,
00:18but she's foreign.
00:20Don't understand the lingo.
00:22What's that foreign talk?
00:24You can't speak a word of English.
00:26She's been sitting here all night.
00:28You're bursting into tears.
00:30At your prices, I can't blame her.
00:32What's her nationality?
00:34Maybe she's Swedish.
00:36Swedish!
00:38I'll get him.
00:40Do you know the Swedish for chucking out time?
00:42That's 1.47.
00:44I'll get him.
00:46You speak a bit of French, don't you?
00:48What?
00:50Potage bon fait.
00:52Go and have a chat with her.
00:54See if she speaks a bit of French.
00:56Anything for a mate.
00:58How much did you say these drinks were?
01:00On the house, Dale.
01:02Good boy. Well done, Michael.
01:04You are a gentleman.
01:06You can stay here if you like, Rodney.
01:08You must be joking.
01:10You're going to speak French to someone
01:12who wouldn't miss this for a million pounds.
01:14All right, then. I'll show you.
01:16Come on, then.
01:18All right, Maureen, I can take over now.
01:20Right.
01:22Au revoir.
01:24Erm...
01:26Hollywood, old French?
01:44Now, she don't speak French either, mate.
01:54She's German.
01:56Oh, it's all right.
01:58Hand it over, Mike.
02:00Where you was?
02:02I can speak a bit of German.
02:04I was over there just after the war.
02:06Come on, sit down.
02:08Sit down and listen to me.
02:10I want you to ask her what her name is,
02:12where she lives, her address and all that sort of thing.
02:14Right, lead us to me.
02:16What is your name?
02:18LAUGHTER
02:22What is your name?
02:24What is your...?
02:26He's winding me up.
02:28Does anyone speak English?
02:30English? You saucy mare.
02:32Of course we speak English.
02:34We invented a lingo, didn't we?
02:36Yes, we... Well, I speak English.
02:38You help me, maybe?
02:40I look for my hotel.
02:42Oh, right. Which hotel?
02:44What is the name of your hotel?
02:46I'm not sure of this.
02:48Don't meet there are bloody millions of them across the river.
02:50Please?
02:52He say there are many hotels in London.
02:54Oh, yeah, many.
02:56You just come in then,
02:58Gatwick Airport, Silverbird.
03:00Please?
03:02He say, have you just arrived in England?
03:04Oh, no, I be in England now
03:06for one year.
03:08I am language student, French and English, yeah?
03:10I work as au pair
03:12and study at the college.
03:14The family I work for tell me I must go.
03:16They are not happy with me.
03:18They say I must leave.
03:20So I have hotel, yes?
03:22Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
03:24I... I...
03:26will make sure you get to your hotel.
03:28I will make sure you get safely
03:30to your room.
03:32I think I can handle this one on my own now,
03:34don't you?
03:36Yeah, I bet you can. Yeah, cool.
03:38What a... What a turn-up, eh?
03:40He thought he was gonna pull a Swede
03:42slumbered with a cabbage.
03:46Come on, Albert, let's take a Toby home.
03:48We'll leave the keys of the car
03:50with the old saint here. Now, off you go.
03:52Ta-ta, darling.
03:54Best of luck, girl.
03:56Keep your hand on your fennec.
03:58No doubt.
04:00All right, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Michael.
04:02I'm gonna leave the phone so you can think about it
04:04and I'll give you a bell on it in the morning, all right, son?
04:06So, um,
04:08have you any idea where your hotel is?
04:10I do not have hotel.
04:12But I thought you said you was looking for an hotel.
04:14Yeah, I look for hotel.
04:16Oh, nice.
04:18There are no hotels in this area.
04:20Oh, this is what I think.
04:22So I am nowhere.
04:24Oh, no, don't...
04:26Don't cry.
04:28Oh, some it'll turn up. Just gives a bit of time to think.
04:30I have money. Oh, put that away.
04:32I'm gonna chop your head off around here
04:34if you've got gold teeth.
04:36Yes. Oh, um,
04:38this is a dangerous place, you know,
04:40at night. Streets are a bad place.
04:42Yeah, this is why I fear.
04:44Cole, time to go home now, please.
04:46Oh, um,
04:48look,
04:50well, you could spend the night at our flat, I suppose,
04:52you know, if you want.
04:54I mean, it ain't very much, but, well, it's comfortable.
04:56Well, no, it ain't really comfortable.
04:58You're more than welcome.
05:00You know, you could have my bed.
05:02But where will you sleep?
05:04Oh.
05:06I think I saw me eye.
05:08Um, shall I take your case?
05:10Oh, thank you.
05:12Sure.
05:14Come here.
05:16Ah.
05:18Ah!
05:20Ah!
05:22Ah!
05:24Ah!
05:26Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:33Ah!
05:45Listen, pistachio,
05:47everybody's got a cordless telephone these days, except you.
05:50What?
05:52Of course they're not faulty.
05:54I say of course they're not faulty.
05:58Hi.
06:00Yeah, yeah, I've got her on.
06:01Um, see, thing is, Del, she didn't actually have an hotel to go back to.
06:04Right, Rodney, can't you see I'm on the phone?
06:05Yeah, what did you say?
06:06So, I said she could spend the night here.
06:08What, eh?
06:09What do you mean, you can spend the night here?
06:11Oh.
06:11Come in, Anna.
06:12Yeah.
06:12Yeah, hello, darling.
06:18Hey!
06:19Oh, all right, Christoph, listen, um, I've got to go.
06:21I'll hang up, because, uh, something big has just turned up.
06:26Um, Anna, this is my brother Derek.
06:28Del, this is Anna.
06:29Yeah.
06:30Good evening.
06:31Good evening, yeah.
06:32And that's her uncle Albert.
06:33How do you do?
06:34Hello, dear.
06:35Nice to meet you all.
06:36May I sit?
06:37May I sit down?
06:38Yeah.
06:38Oh, yeah, of course.
06:39Certainly.
06:39Sit here, that's it.
06:40Here, put your bag down.
06:41That's it, good girl.
06:42There, there you go.
06:43Do you fancy a bit of edit, eh?
06:45No, no, you're all right.
06:46We've already eaten.
06:47I took her down to Star of Bengal.
06:49Do you think a ruby was wise in her condition?
06:53Excuse me, excuse us.
06:54Rodney, can I have a private word with you in private, please?
06:57Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
06:58Um, I won't be a minute, Anna.
07:00Albert, please try to entertain our guests.
07:05Shut the door.
07:08Del, I couldn't help it.
07:09Honest, I mean, how was I supposed to know she was pregnant?
07:12How was I supposed to know?
07:13It doesn't take a doctor bleeding spot to work that one out, Rodney.
07:17Yeah, well, look, I'll take her out tomorrow and I'll get her a room, eh?
07:20Yeah, Rodney, what happens if that sprog of hers decides to clock in tonight?
07:24Yeah, yeah.
07:25I don't want to worry you two boys.
07:27But unless I'm very much mistaken, that young girl out there, is that the duff?
07:35I think you'd go out and eat an iceberg, Albert.
07:37I don't understand this.
07:38I just do not know what's happening to me lately.
07:40I just do not know what's happening.
07:42I've got more relatives crawling out of woodwork than Blake Carrington.
07:46And now I'm taking in the wastes and strays of Europe.
07:48Oh, yeah, well, that's why we've got to help, innit?
07:50Because we're in a European community now.
07:52We've got to stick together.
07:54Pity her knees didn't.
07:58Come on.
07:59We have got room in the flat, haven't we?
08:01I mean, it's only one more person.
08:02Yeah, but it's one more person who's about to become two more persons.
08:06On the other hand, it could be twins or triplets or quadrelts.
08:10Yeah, well, he's right and all, Rodney.
08:11I mean, she could be sitting out there with a belly full of people.
08:17One hot bath and we could get chucked out for overcrowding.
08:21No, I'm sorry, Rodney, I'm sorry.
08:22No, I just, I cannot take the risk.
08:24Sorry, no.
08:26All right.
08:27All right, we'll chuck her out in a straight, shall we?
08:29But you go and give her the good news, Dale.
08:40Munch and glad back.
08:43See, the thing is, Anna, we've hit a bit of a snag.
08:47See, I mean, at this pacific moment in time, we are a bit knackered for space.
08:54See?
08:55Please?
08:57You say there is no room at the inn.
08:59Don't start all that Sunday school rubbish with me, Rodney.
09:04Unt plonker, yeah?
09:06Please?
09:07He's calling me a...
09:09Don't matter.
09:11Who did the dirty deed, then?
09:13Please?
09:14He says, who's the father?
09:15All right, that's a bit personal.
09:16Yeah, it's a bit personal.
09:17Father, yes, I understand.
09:19The family I work with, Mr. and Mrs. Wainwright, have son, Spencer, who is a student.
09:24One day, Spencer return from university with degree, yeah?
09:28I not drink, but this day I have the champagne.
09:31Then I am spinning, yeah?
09:34Then Spencer comes to my room.
09:36He wants to...
09:38To...
09:39What word?
09:40Oh, you mean he wants to...
09:41Dale?
09:43He wants to be my friend, yeah?
09:45While you were still spinning?
09:47Yeah, I am still spinning.
09:49Then, I find baby is here.
09:52I phone Spencer, and he say, I must not tell his parents he is father.
09:56But this morning, I am very worried, and I tell them.
10:00They say I lie.
10:01They say I am bad person.
10:03Mr. Wainwright say, my disruptive influence on Spencer makes it inexpedient for me to remain.
10:13Please?
10:16You say, on your boy.
10:17Oh, on my boy.
10:20Mr. Wainwright, he is a...
10:22What word?
10:24Git?
10:26Businessman.
10:27Oh, well...
10:28A rich man.
10:29He give me money for journey home.
10:31So, why didn't you go?
10:32I cannot go yet.
10:33My family will see baby.
10:35This is not good.
10:37So, I wait.
10:38And when baby is born, I give baby to people.
10:42Well, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, you think so, sweetheart, yeah, yeah.
10:49It's a terrible world this is, isn't it, Rodney?
10:51Yeah.
10:52Terrible.
10:53Look, the best thing you...
10:54Why don't you chuck Anna's things in your room, you know, for tonight, you know?
10:57Yeah.
10:58Cheers, mate.
11:00Oh, Anna, Anna.
11:02Listen, you, you go with Rodney, see?
11:05Through there, and he will show you where you, you know, kick tonight, yeah?
11:10That's all right.
11:11Out, girl.
11:12Come here, I'll help you.
11:13I'll take these.
11:14No, go on, you go around.
11:15Straight through here.
11:16It's through there.
11:17Straight through that door.
11:18Take that.
11:19Yes, sir.
11:20Take that as well.
11:22Yeah, mind that.
11:24All right, all right.
11:25Good night, now.
11:26Night.
11:28Funny old world, isn't it?
11:30I mean, you take the thousands of couples around the world all trying to have kids and can't.
11:36I remember my mate Nipper Townsend.
11:39Years and years, him and his wife dreamed of having a kid.
11:41They never did, though.
11:42No, well, you've got to take so many things into account, haven't you, eh?
11:45You know, there's the temperature, the cycle, tight pants, all that.
11:50True.
11:51Of course, Nipper being stationed in Malta didn't help.
11:58Yeah, you seem to know a lot about all this medical malarkey.
12:02Yeah, well, I get it off Boise and Marlene, don't I?
12:04You remember Boise, the second-hand car trailer?
12:06Yeah.
12:07Yeah, well, him and Marlene have been trying to have a little sprawl for years, but no joy.
12:12I mean, they've had more tests, you know, than the atom bomb.
12:16Still no good.
12:18I mean, they tried to foster a dot, but no.
12:20I mean, funny that, aren't they? Funny.
12:23I mean, they're stinking rich, and yet with all that money,
12:26they cannot buy the one thing they would most dearly love.
12:30A little baby.
12:31Yeah, that's the way the cookie bounces, eh?
12:36Yeah, I suspect so.
12:42What's wrong?
12:44No, nothing, nothing, no, I just...
12:46Just worked out that everything could work out very, very cushty.
12:52Come on, Joe, get a stick.
12:54Come on, Joe, keep...
12:57Joe! Joe!
12:59Joe, get the stick!
13:12Woof!
13:13Woof!
13:14Woof!
13:16Say that again, dull boy.
13:18I said, I could help you have a baby.
13:23What do you mean?
13:24You're willing to be one of them suffragette fathers?
13:28No, no, no, no.
13:29What I mean is, I know where there's a baby going.
13:31What? Knocked off?
13:36No, no, no, it's all pucker.
13:39See, I know this German girl, right?
13:41Well, she's...
13:42She hadn't been in our green and pleasant land
13:44for no more than three months
13:45when she was suddenly taken pregnant.
13:47Oh, that's lovely, isn't it, Marlene?
13:49In a little while from now,
13:50we could be awoken by the pitter-patter of tiny jackboots.
13:54Leave it out, boy.
13:55See, look who's brought up as yours, wasn't he?
13:57And anyway, the father is English.
13:59You see, the full story is,
14:01Rodney met this girl in a pub a little while ago...
14:03Hang about.
14:04You mean that dipstick Rodney's the father?
14:06No, no, no, of course he ain't, boy.
14:08See, leave it.
14:09What, Rodney?
14:10Blimey, he don't know what he's all about yet.
14:13Haven't you seen the funny way he still stirs his tea?
14:16No.
14:18Rodney!
14:19Take your leg out that dog's mouth!
14:23I despair of that boy, I really do.
14:26Anyway, the father's kid is some sort of student geezer
14:29who's washed his hands of the old affair
14:31and, like, you know, he don't want to know.
14:33Well, him and me have got a lot in common
14:34because I don't want to know either.
14:35Oh, hang on a minute, boys.
14:37Let's not be hasty.
14:38I mean, you're the one who's always going on
14:40about having a son and heir.
14:43And it is a boy.
14:45I didn't think it had been born yet.
14:47She's had a scan.
14:49Let me show you something.
14:50Look, I borrowed her passport so I could show you.
14:53Look, there's a picture of her there, look.
14:55Her name's Anna.
14:57She's a beautiful girl, isn't she?
14:58Of course, she's bound to have a handsome kid.
15:00And the student fella's father, right,
15:03is a very, very successful businessman.
15:05So the kid's going to have everything, you know.
15:07Good looks, brains, business acumen.
15:10Just the sort of son and heir that you need
15:12for your second-hand car empire, Boise.
15:15We can at least talk about it, Boise.
15:19Yeah, all right then, all right, love.
15:21Just give us a couple of minutes, will you, doll?
15:30I think I've tired him out.
15:34He's a rascal.
15:39Hey, what are they doing?
15:40It's all right, it's all right, nothing.
15:41They're just having a bit of a chat.
15:43Go and get yourself a light ale
15:44and top me up while you're over there, all right?
15:46It is definitely a boy.
15:48Yeah, definitely a boy.
15:50What's all that about, eh?
15:51No, no, nothing.
15:52Boise's thinking of getting a boat
15:53and I'm going to get some equipment, see.
15:55Oh, that sort of boy.
15:56This German bird, is she healthy?
15:59Healthy?
16:00It's Boris Becker's cousin.
16:01Hey, it's Boris Becker's cousin.
16:05What the bloody hell's going on here, Del?
16:07It's all right, Rodney, it's all right.
16:08I was going to tell you, see,
16:09the thing is, Boise and Marlene might have Anna's baby.
16:12What? What, is this a raffle?
16:15Del, this is a tiny human being we're talking about.
16:17This is flesh and blood.
16:19It's Anna's child.
16:20I know that, Rodney, but Anna wants it adopted
16:22and Boise and Marlene want to adopt.
16:24Yeah, well, if that's what they want,
16:25they go down to an adoption society.
16:27We've tried lots of times, Rodney.
16:29They always turn us down.
16:30It's because of his record.
16:31Yeah, Boise did a little bit of a stretch when he was younger,
16:34you know.
16:35Yeah, what for?
16:36Perjury.
16:39Embezzlement.
16:42Conspiring to pervert the course of justice.
16:45Fraudulent conversion of travellers' cheques
16:47and attempting to bribe the mayor of Lambeth.
16:53See, I mean, it's any little thing with these adoption people.
16:56Leave it out, Boise.
16:58You see, with your record,
16:59I'm surprised we're allowed to keep a dog.
17:02Yeah, but it's all in the past.
17:05I mean, how many times have I got to repay my debt to society?
17:08Yeah, that's true.
17:09I mean, don't a person deserve a second chance?
17:12Well, yeah.
17:13Yeah, that's fair enough.
17:14And that's exactly what we're going to give this little baby.
17:16A second chance.
17:17A chance to live in this beautiful house.
17:19A chance to have a loving father
17:21and a doting mother.
17:23And they don't come more doting than that.
17:28Not even Dookie's got a bib.
17:31But it's illegal.
17:32What?
17:33Giving a little baby love and warmth
17:35and a chance in life is against the law?
17:42I don't know.
17:44Well, the welfare people,
17:45I mean, aren't they going to wonder where this baby is?
17:47Well, it's obvious, isn't it?
17:48It's with its mother.
17:49In Germany.
17:51I think we've cracked it at last, Boise.
17:54Well, you can tell everybody it's our own child.
17:56I mean, we're always reading in the papers
17:58about women giving birth who didn't even know they were pregnant.
18:01Might raise a few eyebrows, though.
18:04Well, yeah.
18:05But they're only neighbours.
18:07I was thinking more of that gynaecologist
18:09who examined you on Monday.
18:13I'll never have to see him again, will I?
18:16Just give us a minute, Dil.
18:17Come on, Boise.
18:20Look.
18:21Hmm.
18:25You're going to earn out of this, aren't you?
18:27How dare you?
18:28That's a terrible thing to say.
18:30What sort of bloke do you think I am?
18:32I'm doing this for Anna and for them two.
18:34Most important of all,
18:35I'm doing it for that little unborn baby.
18:39Oh, look, look, look, I'm sorry.
18:40No, no, go on, don't touch me.
18:41No, I'm sorry.
18:42No, go on, good, get out.
18:46You are going to earn out of it, aren't you?
18:47Look, that is a cruel and callous jibe.
18:50How much is this going to cost?
18:57Only her airline ticket home.
19:00And, of course, money for the birth certificate
19:02and a few quid to cover our petrol and telephone calls.
19:08Three grand should cover it, don't you think?
19:14What's he up to, old boy?
19:15Shh, Boise, I'm busy.
19:18Gotcha, you Martian git.
19:24Let's see, reset.
19:27What's up with you?
19:29You know perfectly well what's up with me.
19:32Selling a baby.
19:33God, it's like something out of Dickens' times.
19:36Rodney, listen,
19:37how many times has Boise tucked me up, eh?
19:39That three grand isn't for the baby,
19:41it's just, you know, payment for old debts.
19:43It's most probably for the best son.
19:45I mean, Anna gets her baby adopted by a loving family.
19:48That's right, Marlene gets the sprog she's always wanted.
19:50And you get three grand.
19:52Exactly, everyone's a winner.
19:53Yeah, everyone except Anna.
19:56Au contraire, Rodney, au contraire.
19:58Because as soon as old Boise waves in with the poppy,
20:00I'm going to go straight down to Burox to change
20:02and I'm going to get a few hundred translated for her.
20:05So that means that Anna's going to go straight back to the fatherland
20:07with 300 drachma in her bin.
20:10Ah!
20:15She's in pain.
20:16How do you know? You can't speak German.
20:21This is it.
20:22This, this is it.
20:23No, no.
20:24Yes, yes it is.
20:25No, it's just indigestion.
20:26It's not indigestion.
20:27It's just indigestion.
20:28Listen to me, listen to me.
20:29Go in the kitchen and get a glass of water, go on.
20:30Right.
20:31Yes, that's it.
20:32You ain't giving her Andrews, are you?
20:33Don't be a conker, no.
20:34Look, I want you to phone the hospital.
20:36Go on, get them a blower.
20:37And oh, don't forget, call the maternity unit.
20:39All right.
20:40Yeah.
20:41I love the lift, I love the lift.
20:43Yes, deep breaths, deep breaths.
20:45Deep breaths, deep breaths.
20:48That's bloody how these phones work.
20:50All right, listen.
20:51When did you start getting the pains, darling?
20:53They come this morning.
20:54This morning?
20:55Oh, it's all right, don't worry, don't worry.
20:56You'll be all right now because the ambulance is going to come any minute.
20:58So you'll be all right.
20:59Don't worry, you just relax.
21:00Everything's going to be kushti.
21:03How are you getting on?
21:04It's all right, darling, all right.
21:05Danke.
21:06It's all right, it's all right.
21:07Vorsprung der Technik.
21:12Ah!
21:13Ah!
21:20Sit down, Marlene.
21:21You're doing up the Wilton.
21:24Sit down, Marlene!
21:26The baby's all right, isn't he, Del?
21:27Yes, yes, Marlene.
21:28For the umpteenth time, you're going to have a beautiful, bouncing baby.
21:34What's he weigh?
21:35Dunno, he hasn't stopped bouncing yet.
21:37He hasn't stopped bouncing.
21:39I don't know, about seven pounds, I reckon.
21:41We've decided to call him Mark.
21:45Oh, that's handy because his father's name was Spencer.
21:51That's it, they're back, they're back.
21:52He's here, they're here.
21:53All right, all right, all right.
21:54Stay, all right, don't panic.
21:55Stay there, it's all right.
21:56Calm down.
21:57Calm down, it's all right.
21:59Everything all right, Rodders?
22:00No, everything is not bloody all...
22:02Pussy and Marlene are here.
22:04They're here already?
22:05Yeah, yeah.
22:06You told them about the little boy?
22:07What about him?
22:08What about him being a little girl?
22:09No, no.
22:10I haven't broken the news yet.
22:11I mean, how can Anna do that to me?
22:13I mean, after all I've done for it.
22:14So what's wrong then?
22:15Oh, well, for one, Anna has fallen in love with her baby, but amongst people...
22:18She's done what?
22:20No, she can't do that to me.
22:21No, she can't do...
22:22Look, a deal is a deal.
22:23I know that, but amongst people...
22:24All right, listen, I'll sort it out.
22:25You've got to...
22:26Get your...
22:27All right, Albert, all right, I'll sort it out.
22:28Here she is.
22:29Oh, hello, sweetheart.
22:30How you feeling?
22:31Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
22:32Oh, good.
22:33Here, let me take...
22:34I think maybe things are not cushty.
22:36I think maybe now I keep baby.
22:39No, no, no, you can't do that, darling.
22:41No, no, no, cos, you know, we love the V.A.T. people round here.
22:45Just come in, come in, I'll explain everything.
22:47Go on, you go in there.
22:48That's it, darling, go on.
22:49In you go.
22:50Put the baby...
22:51Put the baby down here.
22:52Oh, first of all...
22:54These are the very nice people who are going to...
22:58Look after your baby.
23:00There they are.
23:05Someone upset her?
23:08No, no, no, she's just got, you know, like baby blues, that's all.
23:11Just a minute, boys, just a minute.
23:13I'm going to have to come clean, you see.
23:15The thing is, it's about your little baby boy.
23:18He ain't.
23:19Ain't what?
23:20Well, he ain't a little baby boy.
23:22What is it, then?
23:28It's a little baby girl, isn't it, eh?
23:30A girl?
23:31But you said she'd understand.
23:32I know I told you.
23:33All right, boss, I know I told you it was going to be a girl, but it ain't.
23:35I mean, just keep your money, the deal's off, all right?
23:37I don't care if it's a boy or a girl.
23:39Twins, it's a baby.
23:41What?
23:44All right, Marlene, we'll take it.
23:49It's amazing, innit?
23:50Everything you buy off him's got something missing.
23:59All right, don't look at me like that, what else could I do?
24:01No good arsing me, son, I'd never flogged a baby before.
24:05I was...
24:06Wasn't I, you know, I was...
24:08I was doing it for Anna, wasn't I, you know, I was...
24:10I wasn't trying to help.
24:12What do you want, applause?
24:15All right, bossy, sorry, no, sorry, mate.
24:17Listen, the deal's off.
24:18It's off, all right?
24:19Is that right, Del, the deal's off, is it?
24:21Yeah.
24:22Two bleeding righties off?
24:23What are you talking about?
24:30What?
24:31No!
24:35That's the other thing I meant to tell you out there.
24:38You see, Spencer's mummy and daddy come over here in 1956.
24:43In the West Indies.
24:47Well, it don't bother me, boy, see?
24:50Leave off, Marlene.
24:54The baby's brown.
24:57So he's Duke?
25:00But I ain't claiming to be Duke's father.
25:04Well, he's a likeness, though.
25:08Shall we?
25:10We could say it's a throwback.
25:12For God's sake, Marlene.
25:15I might be able to con people into buying my cars,
25:17I might be able to convince them that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat,
25:21but how the hell am I going to persuade them my granddad was Louis Armstrong?
25:25My granddad was Louis Armstrong!
25:31You ain't over the last of this, Del boy.
25:39I suppose he's right, eh, Del?
25:43Yeah.
25:45Yeah.
25:47You know it makes sense, eh?
25:51Still, it was a nice little dream while it lasted, eh?
25:55Yeah.
25:57Well, I'm going to turn round now,
26:00and I'm going to walk out that door,
26:03and I ain't going to look back.
26:07No, of course not.
26:26Oh, God.
26:28Women.
26:30Hannah, Hannah, come on, come out here.
26:32Your baby's hungry.
26:34Shh, quiet, quiet, quiet.
26:35Your mummy's coming.
26:36She is.
26:38Yeah, and she's got lovely bright eyes, eh?
26:41Look at that.
26:42She's going to be a blinder when she gets older, isn't she?
26:45Ain't she?
26:46Koochie koochie koo.
26:47Koochie koochie koo.
26:49Koochie koo...
26:50Yeah.