Hi, I'm Emily, I take a wry look at the top 10 reasons why... a weekly show that proves that everything in the world can be explained with 10 reasons. You might not agree with everything I say and that's fine, my only intention is to provide you all with some much needed light entertainment.
Thanks for viewing, don't forget to subscribe and leave feedback in the comments, I'll do my best to reply.
Thanks for viewing, don't forget to subscribe and leave feedback in the comments, I'll do my best to reply.
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00:00Hello, I am actually struggling week by week to know how to say hello in a really non-annoying
00:06way.
00:07Hello?
00:08Let's just start.
00:09So now this week I'm going to be doing the opposite to what I spoke about last week because
00:14as I've said 20 fucking billion times, I like to equal out the gender scales.
00:20So this week we're going to be looking at women and why they cheat.
00:24Now I think generally cheating is something that we all think men do more of.
00:28I have no fucking idea whether that's true or not and I'm pretty certain that women
00:34cheat too.
00:35And here are 10 possible reasons why.
00:38One.
00:39Now the bottom line is, unfortunately us as women have acquired this gender stereotype
00:46that we are constantly in the kitchen.
00:48I mean sadly it's a stereotype that I hugely fail on because I'm really only in the kitchen
00:54either to make coffee or put a microwave meal in the microwave.
00:59But for those women who do find themselves having to do everything around the house,
01:04often their partners aren't overly eager to help them out and this will really piss a
01:09woman off and probably want to make her go and find a man that will want to help out
01:14once in a while.
01:15Babe, can you come and help me unload the dishwasher please?
01:16Yeah, be right there.
01:17Babe, can you hear me or not?
01:18Come and help me.
01:19Fuck sake.
01:20Babe, I've asked you twice.
01:21Please fucking help me do the dishwasher.
01:22I said I will come when I'm ready.
01:23Will you get back in the kitchen where you belong?
01:25First, I'm actually going to do it again as you were last week.
01:26Two.
01:27Women might cheat because they don't get what they want out of a relationship.
01:28It's a fact.
01:29Well, in my opinion.
01:30It's a fact.
01:31It's a fact.
01:32It's a fact.
01:33It's a fact.
01:34It's a fact.
01:35It's a fact.
01:36It's a fact.
01:37It's a fact.
01:38It's a fact.
01:39It's a fact.
01:40It's a fact.
01:41It's a fact.
01:42It's a fact.
01:43It's a fact.
01:44It's a fact.
01:45It's a fact.
01:49Women want marriage.
01:51They want babies.
01:52They want to buy a house.
01:53Yep, that good old word comes out to play again.
01:57Commitment.
01:58Sorry what?
01:59Commitment.
02:00Woah!
02:01Woah!
02:02Woah!
02:03Woah!
02:04Woah!
02:05Woah!
02:06Woah!
02:07Woah!
02:08Woah!
02:09Woah!
02:10Woah!
02:11Woah!
02:12Now, although it might not be a realistic dream, women do want a fairy tale ending.
02:14And if you, as our boyfriend, can't grow up and step up to the plate, we might go bye-bye
02:21and land on someone else's penis.
02:243.
02:25You've got too comfortable with us.
02:27Now although this might sound like a good thing in a relationship, it's not always.
02:31Honey!
02:32Yeah, what's up?
02:33Do we have any constipation medicine?
02:34Um, what?
02:35Let's just say the last kid won't get off the bus.
02:36Oh, never mind, he just did.
02:45Oh my god, you are fucking disgusting.
02:47Yeah, I'm also a lot lighter.
02:514.
02:52Baggage.
02:53Ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, mothers, friends who don't know when the fuck to go home.
02:59If you thought women came with baggage, you guys carry quite a lot yourselves.
03:04And no matter how much of a lovely boyfriend you think you are, if you carry too much baggage,
03:09we might look elsewhere.
03:10Honey!
03:11I'm home!
03:12Where the fuck have you been?
03:13It's not funny.
03:14Pub.
03:15Club.
03:16Pub.
03:17With who?
03:18Superb.
03:19Tom.
03:20Jim.
03:21You're a fucking idiot.
03:22I missed you.
03:23I'm going to go find someone else to sleep with, and when I say sleep, I don't mean sleep
03:305.
03:31Intimacy.
03:32So, you think you have everything.
03:33You have the marriage.
03:34You have the babies.
03:35You have the house and the country.
03:36But the relationship is lacking in the one thing that women need.
03:37Intimacy.
03:38Oh, this is so nice.
03:39Are you, are you poking me?
03:40If by poking you mean sticking my penis on your vagina.
03:41No.
03:42No.
03:43No.
03:44No.
03:45No.
03:46No.
03:47No.
03:48No.
03:49No.
03:50No.
03:51No.
03:52No.
03:53No.
03:54No.
03:55No.
03:56No.
03:57No.
03:58No.
03:59No.
04:00No.
04:01No.
04:02No.
04:03No.
04:04No.
04:05No.
04:06No.
04:07No.
04:08No.
04:09That we can get as far as sticking my penis into your back then, yes I'm poking you.
04:10Oh god.
04:116.
04:12Okay, I'm not going to die.
04:13Us as women, me in particular, are very sensitive creatures.
04:14I remember once a boyfriend cooked for me which was very lovely, obviously, but he cooked
04:18duck for the main course.
04:20This is basically what happened.
04:22And this is actually a true story.
04:24Say what you're cooking for me.
04:25Well, we're starting off with your favourite mushrooms.
04:28Yum, yeah, I like mushrooms.
04:30And I'm the best boyfriend in the world.
04:32Yeah.
04:33But your absolute favourite...
04:34Amazing.
04:35Duck!
04:36I don't eat duck.
04:37I've told you this about a hundred times.
04:40You just don't know me at all.
04:43Mmm, seven?
04:44Women like to be number one in our boyfriend's lives.
04:46This might sound incredibly selfish and unrealistic,
04:51but that is often how we feel.
04:53You might dedicate a lot of time to your friends or your job,
04:58but be careful,
04:59because if you do start to spend too much time in the office
05:03and deeming your girlfriend as less important,
05:05we might go and find someone else who will make us number one.
05:11Hey, what are you doing?
05:14Working.
05:15Can we, look, it happens in your week,
05:17can we just do something nice together, please?
05:19Listen, I've got to finish this.
05:21Don't really have time for you right now.
05:24One week's not going to kill you, is it?
05:26Whatever.
05:27Fine.
05:31And we're back.
05:37Yeah, hard work.
05:40Eight.
05:40You and your partner are just leading parallel lives.
05:51You used to be on the same page,
05:53but now you're not.
05:55Nine.
05:56Perhaps you cheated on her and she took you back,
05:59and now she wants you to know how it feels.
06:02Sad, but true.
06:04And ten.
06:05I know this sounds crazy,
06:07women like sex too.
06:09And if it does fizzle out in a relationship,
06:12we might go and suck someone else's willy.
06:17I'm knackered.
06:19Shall we go to sleep?
06:21Yeah, big day tomorrow.
06:23It's really nine, so...
06:24Can you give me a kiss?
06:26Night.
06:27Night.
06:31So this week I'm going to try and do the pyjama dance with my dog.
06:35This might not work out, but I'm going to give it a fucking good try.
06:40Pyjama dance, pyjama dance, pyjama dance, pyjama dance.
06:44Pyjama dance, pyjama dance, pyjama dance.
06:47Come here.
06:48He's not really getting into it.
06:50Come here.
06:51Pyjama dance, pyjama dance, pyjama dance.
06:55Well, I tried.
06:56Top comments.
06:58One, may I ask who your Colin Farrell lookalike friend is?
07:02He's very hot.
07:03Yes, he is very hot, I admit.
07:06I'd like to say I didn't choose him because he looks like Colin Farrell.
07:10He's one of my good South African friends
07:12who just happens to look like Colin Farrell.
07:15He's called Matt Caldicott and he is an actor.
07:18So, if any casting directors are watching this
07:21and would like a South African speaking, very sexy actor,
07:25here is Matt.
07:27Two, you hear that, guys, she likes anal.
07:30What?
07:31I'm pretty sure I didn't say that.
07:33Three, WTF, only 27,000 views.
07:37What the fuck is the world coming to?
07:39I know.
07:40So, we've reached the end of this week's show.
07:43I have now done 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
07:46and 10 Reasons Why Women Cheat.
07:48So, all you knob-ends that think I'm a feminist and anti-men
07:53or whatever other shit, you'll know I'm not.
07:55Everything I say is a joke.
07:58Nothing I say is serious.
07:59It's all for entertainment.
08:01I can't say this enough.
08:03OK.