Top Comedy Scene - हजारी धीरे-धीरे सारे छीते हमारे ऊपर आ रहे है - Rajpal Yadav, Vijay Raaz, Sanjay Mishra
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00:00Hey, Lakhiya Babu, spit on my face.
00:11Brother, why are you spitting?
00:13I am spitting on him because he is the son-in-law of the village.
00:16Otherwise, we would have...
00:18Yes, spit.
00:19He spits on the face.
00:21Yes, did you recognize him?
00:23Azhari?
00:25This?
00:27Murari?
00:28Yes, will you say something?
00:30Run!
00:32Stop! Stop!
00:38Stop!
00:40Catch them.
00:41Sonia, don't shoot.
00:54Why are you reversing? Go away.
00:56Sir, you are a senior.
00:57You are not a senior citizen.
00:59Go, catch them.
01:02Azhari, they are coming towards us slowly.
01:05Why didn't you come with an umbrella?
01:08This constable has made me tired.
01:12Can I also pee?
01:13What is written here?
01:15It is prohibited to pee here.
01:16Then how will you pee?
01:19You both are peeing.
01:20I am illiterate. Leave me.
01:21Will you say something?
01:23Azhari, I am Murari.
01:25Yes, keep peeing.
01:27Empty the entire tank.
01:28Don't close the jeep before that.
01:31I don't want to hear anything.
01:32Kusum, Kusum.
01:33I want my car back this evening.
01:39You are a commissioner in the police, right?
01:40Just get my car back.
01:43Darling, have patience.
01:45My entire police force is after your car.
01:47Now don't come after me. Please.
01:49No, I don't want to hear anything.
01:50I want my car back. That's it.
01:54Sir, don't worry.
01:56Mr. Singh will take care of this.
01:59Now he will find the car.
02:00You stay here.
02:04What is this policeman doing?
02:09Hey, come out.
02:11Yes, why?
02:12Come out.
02:13He has come.
02:14Hello, Prabhu.
02:17God bless you, son.
02:18Prabhu, I have a problem.
02:19Yes, tell me.
02:20My car has been stolen.
02:21Stolen?
02:22Yes.
02:23The thief ran away with the car.
02:24Wow.
02:25Very good.
02:26The smile on your face and the clothes..
02:29..tell me that you work as a policeman.
02:31Wow, Prabhu.
02:32Just tell me this.
02:35What was the car number?
02:37What is the model?
02:38And what is the colour of the car?
02:40Sir didn't tell me this.
02:42You are in such a bad condition.
02:44Day and night work, work, work.
02:47You are right.
02:48Your junior is sitting as your senior.
02:52This is also true.
02:53You are getting beaten up.
02:56Beaten up?
02:57Yes, what happens in this?
02:59A man keeps getting beaten up..
03:01..but he doesn't get anything.
03:02Wow, Prabhu.
03:03Prabhu, who are you?
03:05By the way, my name is..
03:06..Shri Shri Pichattar Padam Shri Aba Baba Chitanand.
03:11By the way, you are a good man.
03:14This innocent face, this glowing face.
03:17If you want, you will also get a loan.
03:19It will be a great favour, Prabhu.
03:20It is done.
03:21The favour is done.
03:23Look, the car you are looking at..
03:25..from which we have just got down..
03:27..and you will sit..
03:28..this is not a car.
03:30It is a vehicle of success.
03:31Wow.
03:32It is a miracle, a miracle.
03:34Whoever has sat on it, sat on it, lied on it..
03:36..has reached straight up.
03:38Look, there is a price for you.
03:391,11,011 rupees.
03:42And feed 11 bananas to a poor man.
03:44Okay?
03:45Yes.
03:46Sit.
03:54Sir, I have won.
03:56I have bought the car for 1,11,011 rupees.
04:00You bought this car?
04:01Yes.
04:02This car?
04:03Yes, sir.
04:04Till you don't get Mr. Kukki's car..
04:06..you use this.
04:07It is a matter of the house.
04:09What is this?
04:10What is this, sir?
04:11This.
04:12One car, two numbers, sir.
04:14One.
04:15You are a fool of one number.
04:17Pralaya Pratap.
04:18This car belongs to my wife, Kusum.
04:20It is impossible to explain myself in this foolish world..
04:23..with this foolish horse.
04:24Hey.
04:26You have made me a fool, sir.
04:28One more question.
04:29Don't ask questions.
04:30Don't ask questions.
04:31As it is, I have fallen from many questions.
04:35I have not heard a good news since years.
04:40Hello.
04:41Commissioner, your beautiful wife..
04:43..is with us.
04:44I mean, she is in my boss's custody.
04:46Who are you?
04:47Who is your boss?
04:49Tell me your name once.
04:50Then I will see.
04:51You can see and show later.
04:53First listen to what I am saying.
04:54Actually, my boss and your wife's affair..
04:56..has been going on for a long time.
04:58They have just understood..
04:59..that they are made for each other.
05:03Tell me your boss's name.
05:05What will you do by knowing the name?
05:06Come here directly.
05:07I will introduce you to the boss.
05:08And yes.
05:09Bring the divorce papers along.
05:10Because from today, your life's story is over.
05:12And my boss's love story starts.
05:13Got it?
05:14Good.
05:21Go.
05:22Find out about this phone right now.
05:23Find out from where it has come.
05:24Come on. Come on.
05:26Where are you going with these clothes?
05:27Sir, I am not going anywhere.
05:28There is no one at home.
05:29Ms. Shreya is also not there.
05:30She must be in her room.
05:31Sir, I saw her there.
05:32She is not in her room.
05:38Hello.
05:39Uncle.
05:42Shreya and I are going to get married..
05:44..in a blue house.
05:45If you are your father's son..
05:46..then stay there.
05:47Don't run away.
05:48Why would I run away?
05:49I would have called you.
05:50All the arrangements have been made for the wedding.
05:52We have just waited for your blessings.
05:54If you come, I will get married.
05:56I will get you married.
05:57I will make you look so bad..
05:58..that you won't be fit to get married.
06:04Now I will explain the shots to you.
06:05This is the light.
06:06That is the camera.
06:07That is the cameraman.
06:08And this.
06:09Hey, is the light working?
06:10Boss, there is no power.
06:11Switch it on.
06:12Okay.
06:13The shot starts from here.
06:14Your hands are tied.
06:15They are tied, right?
06:16Your purse will be here.
06:18Then our hero will enter.
06:20Then he will pick up the chocolate..
06:22..and eat it.
06:23And after eating it, he will get strength.
06:25And with that strength..
06:26..he will beat up all the enemies.
06:27Here and there.
06:28The car is coming.
06:29I think our hero is here.
06:30I will explain the scene to him.
06:31Hey, lift the chair.
06:32I will practice.
06:33And bring the entire unit.
06:41I am absolutely ready.
06:42The hero is also here.
06:44We should hurry up.
06:45Shreya.
06:46Shreya.
06:49PP.
06:52Wait.
06:53What happened?
06:55PP.
06:56Who did this?
06:57I won't spare him.
06:58What are you doing?
06:59I will kill him.
07:00Leave it.
07:01I am acting.
07:02My film is being shot.
07:03I will shoot him.
07:04Who did this?
07:05PP.
07:06It has turned red.
07:07What are you doing, PP?
07:09Leave it.
07:10Leave it.
07:11PP.
07:13PP.
07:14Please.
07:15It was my good luck that I reached here.
07:17Don't do this.
07:18I mean, it was your good luck that I reached here.
07:20Please.
07:21Your hands are so soft.
07:22What have you done?
07:24Give it to me.
07:26Leave it.
07:27It will be fine now.
07:28Prahle Pratap.
07:32Sir, it has turned red.
07:33PP.
07:34It has turned red.
07:35Sir, what was I saying?
07:36Shut up, Prahle Pratap.
07:37Prahle Pratap.
07:40I have to talk to him.
07:42He took the marriage proposal as a witness.
07:44And accepted me as his husband.
07:46Is this the reward for that?
07:48What you think is...
07:49Shut up.
07:50Why should I question you?
07:51I have to question him.
07:54I was your junior for 7 years.
07:55And I was your senior for 13 years.
07:58So much love and respect.
08:00And now this love is here.
08:02Sir, I tied him up and...
08:03Shut up.
08:04I have to talk to him.
08:05Do you know the meaning of 7 rounds?
08:07Do you know the meaning of this expensive nuptial chain?
08:11Yes, but you...
08:12Shut up.
08:13I want to question you, Prahle Pratap.
08:16Sir, I...
08:17Shut up.
08:18I am asking you.
08:19Shut up.
08:20I am asking you.
08:21Shut up.
08:22I am asking you.
08:23Shut up.
08:24I don't want to hear anything from you.
08:25Because why did you do this to me?
08:27Shut up.
08:28Shut up.
08:29Shut up.
08:35Shut up.
08:46They are gone.
08:53Yes, Shreya.
08:54I am reaching the church in 10 minutes.
08:55Okay.
08:59What do you think?
09:01Will this deal be done?
09:03Do you have any doubt?
09:05No.
09:06Our story will never change.
09:13Excuse me.
09:14Hey, baby.
09:16She is so beautiful.
09:23Hey, baby.
09:24How are you doing?
09:25I am fine.
09:26Very fine.
09:27I am also fine.
09:28Are you from here?
09:29Yeah.
09:30I am also from here.
09:31Very good.
09:32So, are you free in the evening?
09:33What nonsense?
09:34Shut up.
09:35Sorry.
09:36By the way, I am Cheetah Singh.
09:37What's your name?
09:40Sorry.
09:41Over there.
09:43Oh, my God.
09:45Ranjeet, stop the car.
09:52Take care of the stuff.
10:05Oh, my God.
10:06Stop.
10:07Oh, my God.
10:10Stop.
10:11Stop.
10:13Ranjeet, stop the car.
10:15Ranjeet.
10:16Ranjeet.
10:17I am here.
10:18You are here?
10:19Then who is there?
10:23Where did he go?
10:24Look there.
10:26Let's hide here.
10:27Let's hide here.
10:34Let's hide here.
10:48Whose car is it in the middle of the road?
10:50Hey, it's our AD.
10:51AD?
10:52Greetings, sister-in-law.
10:53Hey, what are you doing?
10:54Greetings, sister-in-law.
10:55Greetings to all the elders.
10:58There's the AD.
11:05Oh, my God.
11:16Get down.
11:17Get down from the car.
11:18What are you doing?
11:19Now sit.
11:24He is taking the girl away.
11:26Ranjeet, it was such a big deal.
11:2950 crores.
11:31He will kill her.
11:32Yes, Papita.
11:33Papita, tell me.
11:35Okay, I will see.
11:38Wife's phone.
11:39The water in the tap is not working.
11:40I need a plumber.
11:43Your plumber and washer went to get oil.
11:47Brother Cheetah, you are alive.
11:48We heard that you had an encounter.
11:50What are you saying?
11:51What am I saying?
11:52After hearing the news of your death,
11:54my mother died in shock.
11:57Aunt Sudha passed away?
11:59When?
12:00When?
12:01What are you doing?
12:02We were in Haridwar.
12:03They are setting up a new gym.
12:05It took some time to discuss.
12:06It's a big setup, right?
12:09Shreya, these are all my friends.
12:11Hi.
12:12Azhari, Murari and Cheetah.
12:15When I was working in a finance company for a few days,
12:17they were working with me.
12:19Azhari.
12:21Public relations officer.
12:23And Murari.
12:24We were legal advisors.
12:25We used to open and close the office.
12:28We were watchmen.
12:30And this is Shreya.
12:31Peepee's sister-in-law.
12:32And my...
12:33Sister-in-law.
12:34Your sister-in-law.
12:35Your sister-in-law.
12:37It's Durjan's phone.
12:38What should I do?
12:40Talk to him.
12:41Not me.
12:42Talk to him.
12:43Talk to him.
12:46Yes, Babita.
12:47I am sending Plumber.
12:49What are you saying?
12:51Black Cobra is speaking.
12:53Yes.
12:54Tell me, Plumber.
12:55How much will it cost?
12:57Not Plumber.
12:58Death.
12:59It's Gajrat's phone.
13:00Okay.
13:01You do one thing.
13:02You will get the money.
13:05Plumber Durjan.
13:09Did you disconnect it?
13:11Start it.
13:12Change the gear.
13:13Sir, it won't run faster than this.
13:15Why won't it run faster than this?
13:16Sir, the car will break down.
13:22They have gone far.
13:25The car is also not running, sir.
13:29Here.
13:30It's broken.
13:31The car is broken.
13:32What do we do now?
13:33Sir, I will fix it.
13:39They will disappear until you see them.
13:42Why are you driving so fast?
13:43Do you want to get killed?
13:44Stop.
13:45Move the car.
13:46Move the car.
13:47Didn't you see the police?
13:51Why have you parked the car in the middle?
13:53Not in the middle.
13:54In the side.
13:55The car is not moving.
13:56That's why I am telling you.
13:57Why isn't it moving?
13:58Go straight.
13:59I will hit you.
14:01What will you hit?
14:02Come.
14:03I will hit you.
14:07Remember his number.
14:08Yes, sir.
14:09He looks like a criminal.
14:10There they are.
14:13I am telling you to go straight.
14:14Am I your driver?
14:25I will hit you.
14:29I am telling you to stop.
14:31The bullet didn't reach there.
14:32How will your voice reach there?
14:36I think they are crazy people.
14:37Maybe they have found out that there is 50 crores in the car.
14:40Murari, tell me something.
14:42I don't understand if the police are following us or not.
14:44But who is he?
14:45He is firing bullets and following us.
14:46What is he doing?
14:47This van belongs to him.
14:48He is running away with the van.
14:49Someone shouldn't run away with his van.
14:51Stop the van.
14:52Stop the van.
14:53This van won't stop now.
14:54We also want to live.
14:55Stop the car.
14:56We will get down.
14:57Your uncle is following us.
14:58What about him?
14:59Listen.
15:00I hope he didn't do anything wrong.
15:01He has done something wrong.
15:02Stop the car.
15:07Wife's call.
15:09Yes, Babita.
15:10I am sending the plumber.
15:14Okay.
15:17Wife?
15:18Plumber.
15:19No, Durjan.
15:20Okay, talk to me.
15:21Talk to the speaker.
15:22Yes, Durjan.
15:23Not Durjan.
15:25Durjan Singh.
15:27Not speak.
15:29Speak.
15:30Yes, sir.
15:31I am Durjan Singh.
15:33I am working for you.
15:35How much more time?
15:36Wait, Durjan.
15:37Wait.
15:38But listen.
15:39Yes.
15:40My knowledge says that the matter is different.
15:43Do one thing.
15:44Stop the car.
15:45We will get down and ask him what the matter is.
15:47Stop the car.
15:56Give me my cap.
15:57She is after me.
15:59Get out.
16:01I told you to get down first.
16:02Mother and sister have come to do it.
16:05Stop.
16:08Pull.
16:09Come on.
16:10Come on.
16:11Come on.
16:12Come on.
16:13Come on.
16:14Come on.
16:16Come on.
16:17Come on.
16:18Come on.
16:19Come on.
16:20Come on.
16:33He is back again.
16:42Hey, what is this?
16:44Oh, no.
16:46Boss, bullets were fired because of him.
16:50Oh, my God.
16:51Come on.
16:52No.
16:53Pick up the bag.
16:54Leave the bag.
16:55You will get stuck.
17:03Scoundrel.
17:04Oh, my God.
17:05What if his life is lost?
17:08You are worried about his life and I am worried about my stuff.
17:11Ranjeet, tell me one thing.
17:13Are you with them or with me?
17:15Idiot.
17:22Idiot, we should give this jewelry to the police.
17:24Otherwise, we will get into trouble.
17:25Shreya, have you gone mad?
17:26We have got such a big treasure.
17:28And you are asking us to give it to the police.
17:29We are lucky.
17:30We are very lucky.
17:32We almost died because of this bag.
17:34I will shoot myself on the chest for this stuff.
17:36But...
17:37Get down quickly, Ranjeet.
17:39Run.
17:41What do I say, Ranjeet?
17:44You are also seeing what I am seeing.
17:46Yes.
17:47But what am I seeing?
17:49That they are not here.
17:51We don't want this bag.
17:52We don't want this bag.
17:53We will get hanged.
17:54Where did they go?
17:55Scoundrel.
17:57You are seeing what I am seeing.
18:00What am I seeing?
18:01Look there.
18:02I am telling you to take out the gold from the bag.
18:04And leave the bag here.
18:05What are you saying?
18:06Hey, that is my stuff.
18:07Hey, run.
18:08Sit down.
18:09Let's go.
18:12Catch him.
18:15Don't come here.
18:16This is very dangerous.
18:17He will kill us.
18:18Sit down.
18:19Shut up.
18:20My stuff.
18:21Let's go.
18:24Come.
18:26Look there.
18:27Inside.
18:39Come.
18:40Let's go.