Sponge Bob Season 2 Episode 15b Artist Unknown
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00:00Ah, how I have dreamed of this day.
00:04Mr. Tentacles, professor of art.
00:09What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom.
00:13Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives,
00:17and I will shape them in my image.
00:23I'll go down in history.
00:25Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it
00:31in all the museums of the world.
00:35Dude, you're teaching art at the rec center. Calm down.
00:40Uncultured trash urchin.
00:43Nine a.m.? Time to let the class in?
00:46Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer.
00:50Welcome to art class.
00:54Oh, isn't this cooking? Sorry.
00:58Hi, Squidward. Are you taking this art class, too?
01:02SpongeBob? In art class?
01:05Why, this is cooking. Come back.
01:09You've got to be kidding.
01:12This is great. You and me in school together.
01:16So, where's the teacher?
01:18You're looking at him.
01:20You are the teacher to my pupil?
01:26This isn't art class. It's heaven.
01:30Yeah. Grab a little piece of heaven and let's get on with it.
01:35I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles.
01:39So, you want to be an artist, eh, SpongeBob?
01:42Yes, please.
01:44Well, art is not all fun and games.
01:47It's a lot of hard work.
01:51Okay. First, repeat after me.
01:54I have no talent.
01:56I have no talent.
01:59Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
02:02Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
02:05If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles' talent may rub off on me.
02:11If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.
02:22Whatever.
02:24Okay. Since you're telling me you have no prior training,
02:28we'll have to start from square one.
02:31Or should I say, circle one.
02:37Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?
02:39How's this, Squidward?
02:41What the? How the? A perfect circle?
02:45Do it again. Show your process.
02:48Well, first I draw this head.
02:51Then I erase some of the more detailed features.
02:54And one, two, three, a circle thingy.
02:59Gimme that.
03:01Forget the circles.
03:03Ooh, nice one, Squidward. Let me try.
03:08Ah! Lucky, Squidward.
03:10It's you and me playing leapfrog.
03:13That's you on the bottom.
03:15Gimme that.
03:16There is nothing artistic about leapfrog.
03:22What are you doing now?
03:24I call it rippy bits.
03:27You take a bunch of old ripped up paper,
03:29and you make a new picture out of it.
03:31See? You're on top this time.
03:37Do you want to learn art or not?
03:41I'm sorry, Squidward. I'll listen.
03:43All right, SpongeBob. Pay close attention.
03:46Look at your marble.
03:49Visualize the sculpture within.
03:52Then gently...
04:02How's this, Squidward?
04:04It's beautiful.
04:07I mean, this isn't a sculpture.
04:11A good sculpture takes more time.
04:15You can't just sculpt willy-nilly.
04:18You gotta go by the book.
04:20Follow the rules.
04:22Otherwise, you'll never get past amateur hour here.
04:26Besides, you got the nose wrong.
04:32Now it's art.
04:35It's so obvious.
04:37I would have never thought of that.
04:40I'm sorry, Squidward.
04:42I came here to learn,
04:44and I arrogantly shunned your lessons.
04:48I'll never be a great artist like you.
04:52I don't deserve your tutoring.
04:54I don't deserve to be in your presence.
04:58I don't even deserve to use your door.
05:02Hello there.
05:05But I did deserve that.
05:08I deserve that, too.
05:15And I deserve this.
05:19Good day, sir.
05:21Sorry, class is dismissed. You're too late.
05:24Oh, I beg your pardon, but I forgot my manners.
05:27My name is Monty P. Moneybags.
05:30The world-famous art collector?
05:33You wanna know me?
05:35Well, what are you doing here?
05:37I'm on a shopping spree,
05:39buying art for my new museum.
05:43Your search is over.
05:45I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste.
05:49I call this one Squidward N. Repose.
05:54I don't think that will fit in
05:57with the other pieces in my collection.
06:01Why not?
06:02Because it's an art collection.
06:06How about this one?
06:07I call it Bold and Brash.
06:10More like Belongs in the Trash.
06:15Sorry, I must have missed that one.
06:19Ah, maybe I should be a...
06:23Huh? What is that?
06:27Wait, wait, that's not...
06:30It's in form.
06:32Amazing detail!
06:35Perfect censorship!
06:38This is the work of a true genius!
06:42Hello, what's this?
06:46This is the only flaw.
06:51Ah, that's more like it.
06:54I simply must find the artist responsible.
06:59He shall have fame.
07:02Fame.
07:03Fortune.
07:05Fortune.
07:06Anything his heart desires.
07:10Anything?
07:13It's me! It's me! I'm responsible!
07:17I can see it now.
07:19Your name in the world's most prestigious museums.
07:23I am gonna make you immortal!
07:27Now, help me get this in the car.
07:31I could use a little help.
07:35My fame! My fortune! My hair!
07:40Well, that's a bit of bad luck right there.
07:44But this shouldn't be a problem for an artist of your magnitude.
07:49You can whip up another one!
07:51Yeah, no problem.
07:54You know, between you and me, this isn't my best work.
07:59Between you and me, this isn't my best work.
08:03Why don't you come back tomorrow,
08:05and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off.
08:09Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks.
08:15Yeah, no socks. That's fine.
08:17Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye.
08:20I gotta find SpongeBob!
08:23SpongeBob!
08:25SpongeBob!
08:27SpongeBob!
08:29Go away, Squidward.
08:31I don't deserve your kindness.
08:35Hey, cheer up.
08:37I have decided to give you another chance.
08:41Why, with a great teacher like me, anything is possible.
08:46Don't look at me, Squidward.
08:48Don't look at my shame.
08:52These hands weren't meant to create.
08:55They only destroy.
08:57I can't look at them.
09:05Aw, come on, SpongeBob.
09:07You've got yourself a pair of yellow dandies here.
09:11And with my help, we'll turn them into tools of beauty.
09:17Really?
09:18Really.
09:19Really?
09:21Really.
09:22Really?
09:24Really.
09:25Wow.
09:27Really?
09:30Let's go.
09:31Squidward, look.
09:33It's an old ball of ink brush.
09:35Give me that.
09:39Okay, SpongeBob.
09:40Just do what you did before.
09:46I can't.
09:48Wait, wait.
09:49Let me help.
09:50Let's start with the circle again.
09:55I did it, Squidward.
09:59Huh?
10:01But what about the head and the erasing and the...
10:06I don't know, Squidward.
10:07That stuff's not in the book.
10:12How about this, huh?
10:14Remember?
10:17That's not in the book either.
10:19Forget about the book.
10:25Look at all this mess, SpongeBob.
10:29What do all these little bits of paper make you want to do?
10:33Wait, I know this.
10:35Oh, wait.
10:36I think I got it.
10:38There you go.
10:39Yes.
10:40Ta-da.
10:45Okay, SpongeBob.
10:47Let's just move on to the marble.
10:49First, an artist must concentrate and visualize his concept.
10:54Now you've got it.
10:56I gotta embrace the marble.
10:58Right.
10:59I gotta sniff the marble.
11:02Well, okay.
11:04I gotta lick the marble.
11:10I gotta watch the marble.
11:12I gotta date the marble.
11:13I gotta be the marble.
11:17I got it.
11:18I have seen the sculpture within.
11:20Here you go, buddy.
11:21With this tool, I shall give birth to art.
11:26Oh, boy.
11:32What?
11:33One more thing.
11:35There.
11:36Now it's art.
11:37Well, what do you think, Squidward?
11:39Just take it all in for a moment.
11:42Let it soak in.
11:45Ah!
12:08It looks like the excitement in my artistic triumph is too much for Squidward.
12:14Oh, well.
12:15Back to the dump.
12:26I'm here for the...
12:28What the...
12:29Who's responsible for this?
12:32As of now, it's his responsibility.
12:36Good day to you, sir.
12:40You, sir, are the great...