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00:00Betty White in Life With Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:26Chapter one in the life of Elizabeth occurred just before they went on their trip to Mexico.
00:31They had decided, very sensibly I think, to learn to speak Spanish.
00:36They figured, again sensibly, that to speak the language of another nation was an indication
00:41of friendly intentions.
00:43Let's watch the Spanish lessons, and this is where the sensible stuff ends.
00:49Elizabeth, como esta usted?
00:55Here comes Alvin.
00:56Why don't you say hi, husband, in Spanish?
00:58Hola, esposo.
00:59Esposo.
01:00That means husband.
01:01Then hola, esposo must mean?
01:02There's a hole in my husband.
01:03That's not.
01:04Kid around.
01:05We've got to learn to speak this language in six days.
01:06You're right, honey.
01:07Hola means hello, and esposo means husband.
01:08Then I guess esposa means wife.
01:09Esposo?
01:10No, esposa.
01:11That's what I said.
01:12I mean esposo.
01:13Esposo.
01:14Esposo.
01:15Esposo.
01:16Esposo.
01:17Esposo.
01:18Esposo.
01:19Esposo.
01:20Esposo.
01:21Esposo.
01:22Esposo.
01:23Esposo.
01:24Esposo.
01:25Esposo.
01:26Esposo.
01:27Esposo.
01:28Esposo.
01:29Esposo.
01:30Esposo.
01:31Esposo.
01:32Esposo.
01:33Esposo.
01:34Esposo.
01:35Esposo.
01:36Esposo.
01:37Esposo.
01:38Esposo.
01:39Esposo.
01:40Esposo.
01:41Esposo.
01:42Esposo.
01:43Esposo.
01:44Esposo.
01:45Esposo.
01:46Esposo.
01:47Esposo.
01:48Esposo.
01:49Esposo.
01:50Esposo.
01:51Esposo.
01:53Alvino.
01:54Um.
01:55Um.
01:56Si esposa.
01:58Did you hear the way I knocked that off?
01:59Si esposa.
02:01Did not flip our sombrero.
02:04Mira la silla.
02:06Mira la silla.
02:08What does that mean?
02:10Well, it doesn't mean there's a mirror on the ceiling.
02:13Don't get sarcastic, Elizabeth.
02:15I'm sorry.
02:16Mirror.
02:17Where am I pointing at?
02:18The chair.
02:19Silla means chair.
02:20Sia means chair, so mira la sia means...
02:24There's a mirror on the chair.
02:26It does not.
02:27It means look at the chair.
02:29I know that, but you look at a mirror.
02:33And mira means look at.
02:35Well, that's the way I connect it up.
02:37You've got to have a logical mind for this kind of stuff.
02:40Never mind your logical mind.
02:42Hey, mira la misa.
02:45See.
02:46See what?
02:47I see the mirror on the table.
02:49Oh, honey, no.
02:49See means yes.
02:52All right.
02:53Yes, I see the mirror on the table.
02:55That's better.
02:56See, we're doing pretty good at this.
02:57Come here.
02:59I'll see you.
03:00Mira la sia again.
03:02Look at the chair.
03:05If we ever had to say look at the mirror,
03:06we'd be in real trouble.
03:08See, how about that, huh?
03:11Mira la watcha.
03:12Oh, I don't think watcha means watch.
03:14Watcha?
03:15Never mind that.
03:16It's time.
03:17Estiempo morir.
03:21It means it's time to eat.
03:23Morir means to eat.
03:25Unless it means mirror again.
03:27Mucho morir.
03:28There seem to be an awful lot of mirrors in Mexico.
03:31Molito.
03:32Oh, here it is.
03:33Here.
03:34Morir.
03:35The die.
03:37Come on, sweetheart.
03:38Dinner's ready.
03:39It's time to die.
03:40Yeah, I'll take the books.
03:41The libros.
03:43Sweetheart, I just.
03:44Si.
03:45I just thought of a game that might be fun.
03:48Si, esposito.
03:50Why don't we try to get through the entire meal
03:52without using any English at all?
03:54Hey, now, wait a minute.
03:55We're not that good.
03:56Well, I mean, we can use the books,
03:59but we just can't use any English words.
04:02See, we can look up anything we need.
04:04They say that's the only way to learn a language.
04:06Well, I don't know about that.
04:07I mean, we can use the books, but we just can't.
04:10We can't use any English words.
04:11They say that's the only way to learn a language.
04:13OK.
04:14Not one single English word.
04:16It'll be two bits for every English word we use.
04:19Well, now, wait a minute.
04:20Let's not go overboard, huh?
04:22No, it's your idea, and it's a very good idea.
04:24Don't forget, two bits for every English word we use.
04:28Yeah.
04:29Starting, um, starting now.
04:32Uh, uh, uh, bueno.
04:36Here we go.
04:38Sia.
04:40Um.
04:45Gracias.
04:47Gracias.
04:48Ah.
04:51Mira la, uh, uh.
04:54Si.
04:58Uh, pas, uh, pasa la, pasa la sol.
05:07La.
05:08Pas.
05:10Pass the what?
05:11You spoke English.
05:12So did you.
05:13I did not.
05:14Well, you spoke English to tell me I spoke English.
05:16Oh.
05:17Well, let's start over again.
05:20Uh, pasa la sol.
05:23Sol.
05:24Sol.
05:25Sol.
05:28Ah.
05:29Sol means salt.
05:32You spoke English.
05:33Well, so did you.
05:35Well, we'll start over again.
05:37Uh, la sol, esposo.
05:41Gracias, esposa.
05:44La sol.
05:45Gracias, esposo.
05:48Isn't this fun?
05:49You spoke English again.
05:52Oh, honey, can't we cut the two bits of word stuff?
05:55I mean, we're learning a language.
05:56We're not playing bingo.
05:57No, no, no, no.
05:58Two bits for every word in that sentence.
06:02Minus that last sentence of yours.
06:03Oh, now, that didn't count.
06:04I was telling you about the sentence before that.
06:06What about the one you just said?
06:08Which one?
06:09The one where you were explaining about the one before.
06:11Oh, no.
06:13La sol, esposo.
06:14Gracias, esposa.
06:17La sol.
06:18Gracias.
06:21Um, uh, el carne, uh, uh, slicito.
06:29Oh, you're going to talk to slicito.
06:32That's a dollar and a half's worth of English.
06:34Now, wait a minute.
06:35In order to say that was a dollar and a half's worth of English,
06:37you used $2.25 worth more of English.
06:40And in order to say what you just said, you...
06:41Uh-huh.
06:44La sol.
06:45Gracias.
06:47La sol.
06:49Gracias.
06:51Um, el carne, uh, uh, sliceramos.
06:59Sliceramos el carne, me?
07:02Si.
07:03Si.
07:04El carne is getting, uh, uh, frijo and greasy.
07:08Uh, pass me the...
07:14Camisa.
07:17Camisa.
07:20Si.
07:21Si.
07:22Yeah.
07:23Hey.
07:27All right, let's see you slice the ramos el carne with that.
07:33Will you kindly pass me the stupid knife?
07:36Will you look it up in the stupid libro first?
07:39Camisa means shirt.
07:41And those last two sentences cancel each other out in two bits.
07:44Okay, okay, okay.
07:46Let's see.
07:47Cuchara.
07:48La cuchara, please.
07:50Um, what did you do with the cuchara?
07:54Me?
07:55How about usted?
07:57Well, I don't go around hiding cucharas, Alvin.
08:00I sharpened the cuchara.
08:02Because del carnilo falls apart when you sliceramos with a dull cuchara.
08:09Am I using too much Spanish for you?
08:11Oh, no, no.
08:12I'm keeping up fine.
08:14La sal?
08:18La sal?
08:19Gracias.
08:21You'd better slice the carnilope with a dull cuchara.
08:26Olé.
08:28Uh, la plata, s'il vous plait?
08:30Plata.
08:32Gracias.
08:39La sal?
08:40Oh, si.
08:43Gracias.
08:48Running out of la sal.
08:50Si.
08:57Mm.
08:58What's the matter?
09:00La sal is la salty.
09:03Look, I've got an idea.
09:04Look, let's take a test.
09:07Well, it's a cinch.
09:08We can't eat.
09:09You know the radio station that always broadcasts in Spanish?
09:11Let's see if we can translate what they saw.
09:13Uh, say.
09:18Well, we've been speaking nothing but Spanish for the last five minutes.
09:20That should be easy.
09:22El clima en México es muy agradable.
09:24Hay una temporaria seca y una de lluvias.
09:26Usualmente empieza a llover hacia el fin de la primavera,
09:29continuando durante el verano.
09:31Deja de llover al principio del otoño,
09:33y después, en el invierno, el clima se vuelve bien seco,
09:36con mucho sol y calor.
09:38¿En cuál parte del año está mejor el clima en México?
09:41Siempre, siempre, siempre.
09:47Um, how does Canada strike you, sweetheart?
09:52No.
09:53We're going to practice some more.
09:56See ya.
09:59Gracias.
10:04La sal, esposa?
10:06Gracias, esposa.
10:08La sal?
10:10Gracias, esposa.
10:11Elizabeth.
10:13Hasta la vista.
10:19Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
10:21In just a moment, we'll bring you incident number two,
10:23in Life with Elizabeth.
10:27Incident number two in the life of Elizabeth
10:29occurred the time she took Alvin to one of those dainty,
10:32feminine tea rooms that belong on a pink cloud,
10:36but are usually found on the top floors of department stores.
10:40Men, don't let this happen to you.
10:45Oh, this one.
10:46If only.
10:48Sweet, sweet.
10:49Honey, it's all women, honey.
10:50Well, that's never bothered you before.
10:52Look, honey, there's a little, little hamburger place
10:54down the street.
10:55Alvin, will you stop making a scene?
10:57I'm sorry.
10:59Look, how come we're right up front?
11:01Well, this is the line for parties of two.
11:04Isn't this a cute place?
11:06Look at the parasols on the wall.
11:07That's why they call it the pink parasol.
11:09Thanks.
11:11Look, I've got to be back to the office at one o'clock.
11:13Look, let's go down.
11:14There's a diner right down the street.
11:15We can get a seat.
11:16Alvin, will you stop embarrassing me?
11:18Embarrassing you?
11:19Look, I have a minor flash for you, Elizabeth.
11:21I'm not the one that embarrassed for you, Elizabeth.
11:23I'm not the one.
11:24I'll have a table for you ladies in just a moment.
11:28She wasn't looking at you when she said it.
11:31Well, everybody else is looking at me.
11:33They are not.
11:34They're looking at me.
11:36They're wondering why I brought my spoiled, my spoiled baby
11:39son to a public restaurant.
11:41OK, OK.
11:43Elizabeth, I have 45 minutes to get back to the office.
11:46Besides, all this perfume is making me sick.
11:48Here she comes.
11:50Would you ladies prefer the para room or the sol terrace?
11:54My husband and I would like whichever
11:56has the quickest service.
11:57Husband?
12:02Well, then, I guess you better take the para room.
12:06The chairs are stronger.
12:09This way, please.
12:16Here we are.
12:18Thank you.
12:20I'll do this.
12:21Yes, sir.
12:24All right, Galahad, sit down, for goodness sakes.
12:26Well, Elizabeth, no woman is going to take it.
12:29This is one of the strong chairs.
12:30Well, then.
12:31Gee, I weigh 185 pounds.
12:33Will you please sit down?
12:35Elizabeth, I'm not kidding.
12:36It won't hold me.
12:38Mama eats here.
12:39Oh.
12:46What's this?
12:48It's the menu.
12:55I'll have that fillet of eggplant.
12:57Oh, it's delicious today.
12:59And you, madam.
13:00Sir.
13:02I'm dead.
13:03I can't get the stupid parasol open.
13:06Elizabeth, honey.
13:07Here.
13:08Why don't you try the shredded oysters?
13:11They're delicious.
13:13I hate oysters.
13:15Well, you'll like these.
13:16They taste just like tuna and potato chips.
13:18You know, you love potato chips.
13:20No.
13:21Bring me a nice big steak.
13:25What happened?
13:27Smell.
13:28Sweetie, talk to me.
13:29Elizabeth, honey.
13:30He, uh, he said oyster plate.
13:34Yes, ma'am.
13:36Well, what happened?
13:37Why did everybody get so quiet?
13:39Alvin, you should never use profanity like that in a tea room.
13:42Steak.
13:43Oh, for goodness sake.
13:45Is it all right if I smoke?
13:47Of course it is.
13:48Ridiculous.
13:49Here.
13:50Use the ashtray.
13:51Be careful, honey.
13:52Paper.
13:53Oh, this is real handy.
13:55Next time we eat lunch downtown, I'll take you to Joe's diner.
13:58Then you'll see how I feel.
13:59You'll be the only woman in the place.
14:02Yeah.
14:07Honey, I'm still the only man here.
14:10You are not.
14:12There's a little old man over there.
14:14There's a little old man over there in the corner.
14:18No.
14:19No, it's not.
14:20It's a little old lady.
14:22The pipe fooled me.
14:24Honey, when do we eat?
14:25I'm starved.
14:27Here she comes.
14:29Now, don't make any vulgar remarks about the food.
14:34Careful, Al.
14:35The plates are cold.
14:37The plates are cold.
14:39Well, they freeze the plates so the hot food reaches the table
14:42at just the right temperature.
14:44No, he has the oyster plate.
14:46Oh, sorry.
14:47How could you tell the difference?
14:48Alvin, a cream or a lemon with your tea, ladies.
14:58Could we possibly have some coffee?
15:02Well, I'll have to send downstairs for it.
15:05Well, you're down there asking to bring up
15:07another one of the ashtrays.
15:08The last one just went up in flames.
15:12Flames.
15:18Are you deliberately trying to be a bull in a Chinese shop
15:20or don't you know any better?
15:22Just being friendly.
15:25OK, sweetheart, now eat your food.
15:27And don't tell me you can't find it.
15:30And don't describe it.
15:32Elizabeth, if this little blob in the middle of my plate
15:34is my oysters, which I can't stand, that leaves me
15:37two postage stamps for my lunch.
15:39Elizabeth, will you look at me?
15:41Look, I'm not trying to be funny.
15:46It isn't much, is it?
15:47No.
15:48I'll tell you what.
15:49You eat my postage, um, my sandwiches too.
15:52Here.
15:54This one with the purple filling is nothing but cream cheese.
15:57And this blue one is, that's yellow of egg.
16:02Honey, are you sure that's what it is?
16:04Mm-hmm.
16:07Here comes your dessert.
16:12Oh, that's very nice.
16:14Honey, I don't think that you're right about that.
16:16This green, the one, what?
16:18You can have this table as soon as we're through eating.
16:21How's that?
16:23Well, Elizabeth, I don't like anyone
16:25hanging over my shoulder when I'm eating.
16:28What's so funny?
16:31Nothing, darling.
16:32Miss?
16:33Did I embarrass you again?
16:36You know something?
16:37I just figured out.
16:40You'd embarrass me more if you knew how
16:42to act in a place like this.
16:44Look, honey, if I did anything to cause you any trouble
16:46in front of these women, I'd...
16:48Every woman in this room wishes she had this kind of trouble.
16:53Did you call me?
16:54Uh, may we have our check, please?
16:56I have it right here.
17:00Didn't you like the food?
17:02We've decided to eat at Joe's Diner.
17:04No kidding?
17:05I don't blame you.
17:07That's where we all eat our lunch.
17:11You know, before I go, I'd like to try something.
17:13What?
17:14Steak!
17:16Hey, while it's quiet, say goodbye to the people.
17:20Goodbye, everybody.
17:21Goodbye, everybody.
17:22Look...
17:23Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
17:26And in just a moment, we'll bring you
17:28incident number three in life with Elizabeth.
17:34Incident number three in the life of Elizabeth
17:36occurred because she was a victim of her father's
17:39She was a victim of her own careless marketing.
17:42How do you do careless marketing?
17:44Well, the psychiatrists have a phrase for it.
17:47They call it acute market basket annoyance.
17:50It works like this.
17:54See how that wasn't so bad, was it, darling?
17:58Alvin?
18:00Open the door.
18:02Where have you been?
18:03Open the door, honey.
18:04It's open.
18:06I still can't see.
18:09What are you doing with all that stuff?
18:11I'm trying to put it down.
18:14Well, don't bother.
18:15That's all I bought.
18:16What?
18:17That's all I bought.
18:19Then what am I doing with all of this stuff?
18:21I don't know.
18:22You were the one that went through the checking station.
18:24Are you sure you had the basket with the watermelon on the bottom?
18:27Of course I had the one with the watermelon on the bottom.
18:32Don't put it all down.
18:33We're going to have to take it all back.
18:35Now, wait a minute, Elizabeth.
18:36Wait a minute.
18:37Now, you said to me, you pointed to the cart
18:39that had the watermelon on it.
18:40And you said, that's ours.
18:42I took it to the checking stand.
18:43I paid $27 for this stuff.
18:46$27?
18:50Well, you've got about $26 worth of broccoli in this bag alone.
18:53Come on, let's go.
18:54Now, wait a minute.
18:55Let's try to figure out what happened, honey.
18:59OK, let's see.
19:01I was in the store.
19:03And you were driving around the block.
19:10Hey, Elizabeth, honey.
19:11Look, I've been around the block 43 times.
19:14Poor baby.
19:15You should have brought the cart.
19:17Honey, now look, no kidding.
19:18I'm parked in the yellow zone as it is.
19:20Let's see.
19:21You know, I'll tell you something you can do for me.
19:23You want to take the cart and get a small sack of potatoes
19:26over in the next aisle?
19:28OK.
19:29Which one's ours?
19:31The one with the watermelon on the bottom.
19:33Now, look, honey.
19:34Will you be ready when I come back?
19:35I'm already living on borrowed time in that yellow zone.
19:37What's the matter?
19:39Yeah.
19:40Yeah, hurry up, honey, will you?
19:41Please.
19:50Oh, excuse me.
19:59My land, Elizabeth.
20:01Oh, Chloe, what a pleasant surprise.
20:03Hi, Vivian.
20:04Hey, that's good-looking.
20:05Oh, yes.
20:06Pierre and I just love them.
20:08You know, we throw away that yellow stuff in the middle,
20:10and I pickle a rind.
20:12The green looks elegant on my preserve shelf.
20:15You know, we do a silly thing.
20:18We throw the rinds away.
20:20My land, maybe we can make a trade deal.
20:23I never know what you would think.
20:25Hi, Chloe.
20:26These the kind of potatoes you want?
20:28Those are rutabagas.
20:30Oh, I thought they were a little too hairy.
20:33Hey, is that the way you drive a car, too, buddy?
20:36You're jaywalking.
20:37Jaywalking.
20:38Yes.
20:39You go get the potatoes.
20:40He's sorry.
20:43Pardon me, madam, but you're right between me and the shelf.
20:46My land, park that silly thing and go round.
20:49Around.
20:50Around.
20:51Just a minute.
20:52Don't do that.
20:53Yeah.
20:54Say, isn't this my basket?
20:55Most certainly is not.
20:57Oh, now look, you've locked bumpers.
20:59Oh, be careful.
21:00Be careful.
21:01Well, I bought the margarine and the jam, I think.
21:04Say, you're going to break my eggs.
21:06Hey, hey, what's going on here?
21:08Alvin, this man is being very rude.
21:10Not only that, I think he has our car.
21:12Elizabeth, he couldn't have.
21:14I had it.
21:15Be careful.
21:16Wait a minute.
21:17Listen, will you stop losing your mind?
21:19Let's do this thing scientifically.
21:21Listen, I didn't come here to buy an omelet, you know.
21:23Now, wait a minute, everybody.
21:25Now, wait a minute.
21:26The least we can do is get this one out of the way.
21:29See?
21:30You don't have to lose your mind, you know.
21:32Just easy.
21:33Well, at least this one is my car.
21:35Ah!
21:37For sakes.
21:39You know they ought to take away his license.
21:41Well, I should think they should.
21:44I guess this one's ours.
21:45Yeah, well, can we go now, dear?
21:47This one is mine, dear.
21:48Oh, I believe you have my eggs, Elizabeth.
21:51Thank you.
21:52Aren't they getting my car?
21:54Well, they're getting your car.
21:57Thank you.
21:58Aren't they getting my car?
21:59Never mind that now.
22:00Let's go.
22:01Well, I'm not going to say goodbye.
22:02We'll probably meet in the next aisle.
22:04Yeah, bye.
22:06Funny about me.
22:07Hey, I just have a few more things I have to get.
22:09Why don't you pick out something you like?
22:11Look, honey, the only thing I like right now
22:13is to get out of that yellow...
22:21How did you get the eggs?
22:24I did.
22:26Here, you got the eggs?
22:27I got them, honey.
22:28Oh, here's dyspeptic David again.
22:31Pretend you don't see him.
22:32I'm not afraid of him.
22:33I don't want any more trouble.
22:42He's gone.
22:45Now, isn't it best to avoid trouble that way?
22:47Sure.
22:48Say, did you say you had eggs?
22:50I've got the eggs, honey.
22:52Well, let's go.
22:53Come on.
22:54Well, I've just been thinking I ought to pick up
22:55a couple more things for the weekend.
22:57You go park in another yellow zone.
22:59Honey, be ready to leave when I come back, please.
23:01Yeah.
23:03Oh!
23:04Oh!
23:08What happened?
23:09Elizabeth, he's a hit-and-run driver.
23:11It looks more like hit-and-sit.
23:13What happened?
23:15I slipped on those eggs, and she ran over me.
23:18Now, there's no excuse for somebody leaving eggs
23:20in the middle of the aisle like that.
23:22Well, don't just sit there disgusted.
23:24Help me up.
23:25They'll pay you to be a little bit more diplomatic, young man.
23:27You're in no position to be uppity with us.
23:31Are you all right?
23:33A rib is sticking out.
23:34My lamb.
23:35Yes.
23:36Oh, no.
23:37It's just some celery.
23:38I told you, I've got to take it.
23:40Hey, what's going on here?
23:41We're taking this man to the office, Alvin.
23:43He's been hurt.
23:44Hurt?
23:45Honey, how about the food?
23:46You take it out of the car.
23:47I'll be right with you.
23:48Oh.
23:49Hey, did you buy all this?
23:50Well, I got some more.
23:51Look for the watermelon.
23:52Watermelon.
23:54Watermelons.
23:59Melons.
24:00Mm-hmm.
24:01Three.
24:08Must be having company.
24:11So you probably rolled out all three cards.
24:15Well, sure.
24:16All three of them had watermelons.
24:17Oh, there you are.
24:18There are mine.
24:19Hey, wait a minute.
24:20Give me back that.
24:21Now, wait a minute.
24:22I'll take it.
24:23Where's my $27?
24:24What's the matter?
24:25Alvin, come back here.
24:26Oh, you poor dear.
24:27My poor child.
24:28All we can do is visit him.
24:30Visit who?
24:31Didn't you know?
24:32Alvin has been stealing baskets of food from the market.
24:35Oh, Chloe.
24:36That's the.
24:37Why, it's all a mistake.
24:38He's paid for the food.
24:39Cigarettes.
24:40That's what we're bringing.
24:41Cigarettes.
24:42Or do they allow cigarettes at Alcatraz?
24:43No, Chloe.
24:44Don't ask.
24:45Then we'll bring you cigars.
24:46No, it.
24:47Wait a minute.
24:48Do you know what bothers me?
24:49What?
24:50What happened to those three watermelons?
24:52Distraught.
24:53That's what you are.
24:54Out of your mind with worry?
24:55No.
24:56No, you remember, we had the eggs.
24:57Yes, I have.
24:58Then you took the eggs out of my mouth.
25:00Good money for these Elizabeths.
25:02You know what they call it?
25:03Shoplift.
25:04Shoplift.
25:05Hey.
25:06Say goodbye to the people.
25:08Goodbye.
25:09Now, let me tell you another thing.
25:10Look.
25:11Goodbye.
25:12Ladies and gentlemen, in just a moment, Betty White
25:15will return to say goodbye.
25:22And now, here to say goodbye to you
25:24is the lovely star of our show, Betty White.
25:27Thank you, Jack.
25:29And thank you, everybody.
25:31Thank you.
25:32You know, that last incident reminded me of a little poem
25:35I used to know.
25:36You know the one about, um, this little piggy went to market,
25:39and this little piggy was her husband,
25:41and this little piggy let this little piggy go along,
25:43and it's a good thing she did, or we'd have had
25:45no incident number three.
25:47Until we see you again next week, once again,
25:49goodbye, everybody.
25:52Thank you.
26:22© BF-WATCH TV 2021