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00:00Betty White in Life With Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:25Incident number one in the life of Elizabeth occurred around Easter time a couple of years ago.
00:32I know it was around Easter time because Alvin had egg on his tie.
00:37That's a joke.
00:41Incident number one in the life of Elizabeth occurred around Easter time a couple of years ago.
00:49Elizabeth, how are you tonight?
00:54What have you done, invited an army over to tea?
00:58A joke wasn't that bad.
01:04You're studying Shakespeare.
01:08I've got it, Shakespeare's studying you.
01:12I'm dying. I'm dying Easter eggs.
01:15Oh, well here comes Alvin. Let's see if he can figure out what's going on.
01:20What have you done, Elizabeth? Invited an army to tea?
01:23Well, I'll give you a hint, darling. There are more cups here than we need, right?
01:27Why don't you just tell me what you're doing? Never mind the little games.
01:30There are more cups here than we need and there's hot water boiling on the stove and there's a dozen hard-boiled eggs.
01:36Oh, you've invited an army to a picnic.
01:39That's right, darling. I've invited... There's a bottle of ants in the refrigerator.
01:44Why do we always have to go on a verbal merry-go-round every time I ask a question?
01:48When I ask a question, all I ask for is an answer. I don't want to answer a hint.
01:53Well, I like to think that you're intelligent enough to figure things out for yourself.
01:58Now watch.
02:00Look, why don't you just tell me? It'll be so much...
02:04What's that?
02:06It's a new magical liquid called hot water.
02:10Now we put this little magic pill called green dye...
02:14I see.
02:15It's a new magic liquid called hot water.
02:18And, lo, green hot water.
02:21I still don't get it.
02:22Well, it's very simple, darling. I'm going to dye my hair green.
02:25Dye your hair green.
02:27That's right, as soon as I figure out how to get my head in the cup.
02:31Only because I stay right here until I find out what's going on.
02:34I want to hear no more about magical liquids, nor do I answer any hints.
02:39Well, I just thought it would be kind of fun to color some Easter eggs for the neighbor kids.
02:44Don't you kid me.
02:46You'd do it even if there weren't any neighbor kids.
02:51Anyway, I think it'll be fun.
02:52So do I. How do we start?
02:54Well, first of all, I think if we...
02:56We?
02:57Well, sure, you're not going to have all the fun by yourself, you know.
03:00Come on.
03:01Well...
03:02What do we do?
03:03I think that's what... Let's put the dye in the cups like...
03:05Let's see if we can't make them real pretty now, huh?
03:07Okay, are these fresh eggs?
03:10Chickens haven't even missed them yet.
03:12That's funny.
03:15Now then, let's see.
03:17This is... Let's see.
03:18That's red, and that's yellow, and that's blue, and that's green, and that's purple, and that's white.
03:24All right, let's...
03:25What do we need the white dye for?
03:28Oh, well, I made a mistake and bought brown eggs.
03:32Elizabeth, the eggs are white.
03:34Oh, that's right.
03:35I forgot.
03:36I bleached them in the sun.
03:37Elizabeth.
03:38Elizabeth, look at me.
03:39Funny joke?
03:41Funny joke.
03:42Funny joke.
03:43All right.
03:44This is the dunker.
03:45Yeah.
03:46Wait a minute.
03:47What's the white dye for?
03:48Oh, that isn't...
03:49That isn't white dye.
03:50That's just water in case we get thirsty.
03:53All right.
03:54Now, explain about the dunker.
03:57Well, you put the egg right in here like this, see?
04:01Yeah.
04:02And then you dip the whole thing in the cup like that, see?
04:07How about that?
04:08You can take it out.
04:09Hey, that's pretty.
04:10Let me try it.
04:11Wait a minute.
04:12I'll put this here to dry.
04:14There you are.
04:16Let me try this one.
04:17And not only that, but you can mark the egg with crayon and it leaves a design.
04:24Hey.
04:26Hey, I'm oopsing it.
04:28Hey, I think my egg's prettier than yours.
04:30Look at that.
04:31Well, it's all a matter of opinion.
04:33There she goes.
04:34I think I'll put a bunny rabbit design on this one.
04:38Well, don't just splash around, honey.
04:40But make some designs on them.
04:42Oh.
04:44There you see?
04:47Too tall job.
04:56Alvin.
04:57What's up?
04:58Check the other cups quick.
04:59Uh-huh.
05:00Oh, honey, if you think you're drinking the dye, look in the cup.
05:07My gosh, it's black.
05:08I'll get the doctor, honey.
05:09No.
05:10Never mind the doctor.
05:11Get the sugar.
05:12Why?
05:13It's coffee.
05:18Funny joke.
05:19Funny joke.
05:21I guess I just feel like a kid.
05:22We used to do this at home all the time.
05:25Oh, me too.
05:26Say, I think I'll make a little design of little roses all around the middle of this one.
05:31Why roses?
05:32It should be Easter-ish.
05:35Look, you make the bunny rabbits, and I'll get fancy.
05:38Can I have the dunker there, honey?
05:40Now, wait a minute.
05:41Here.
05:42Just a sec.
05:44Come on.
05:45Wait a minute.
05:46You're holding up a genius here.
05:47Give me that.
05:48Here you go.
05:51You should have said dunker, Shurn.
05:57Look at that.
05:59Isn't that pretty?
06:00Mm-hmm.
06:01Wait till you see this one.
06:03I think I'll, I think I'll put that right there.
06:06And don't touch that one.
06:07That's going to be kind of special.
06:10May I have the dunker?
06:11Just a minute.
06:13There.
06:15How do you like that?
06:16Not a bunny on it.
06:18Pretty?
06:20What do you have against bunnies?
06:21We used to have one in the house all the time.
06:23He had a live rabbit in the house?
06:25Sure.
06:26He grew up in the house.
06:29He was an ingrown hair.
06:36Hey, how do you like that?
06:37Huh?
06:38Oh, Alvin, don't put faces on them.
06:40Well, why not?
06:43I don't know.
06:44It just, it just doesn't seem right.
06:45Why don't you try for some nice, delicate coloring?
06:47Like this one.
06:49Well, let's see.
06:51Alvin, where's my bunny?
06:52Alvin, where's my chartreuse egg?
06:54You yelling at me?
06:56I didn't yell.
06:57I simply said, what did you do with my chartreuse egg?
06:59Well, I haven't seen your stupid chartreuse egg.
07:02Well, I, now who's yelling?
07:04I distinctly remember putting it right there.
07:06And I said, don't touch this one.
07:07Is it my fault that you can't keep track of your eggs?
07:10What's so special about a chartreuse egg?
07:12Well, I had to dunk it in the green and the yellow dye.
07:16It takes a little more brain work than painting faces on them.
07:19What's wrong with that?
07:20That's my chartreuse egg.
07:21This is not chartreuse.
07:22This is the dirty green.
07:24Well, I see you thought enough of it to put a face on it.
07:27Do you know what I have?
07:28Yes, I do.
07:29You have a nasty temper.
07:31I was going to say the same thing.
07:32I have a wife with a nasty temper.
07:34And I have a husband who paints roses on Easter eggs.
07:37I like roses on Easter eggs.
07:38And how do you like them apples?
07:40What?
07:41We're out of the stupid bunnies.
07:42I'm not going to paint bunnies on them.
07:44That's all there is to it.
07:45Oh, more faces.
07:46Okay.
07:47Okay.
07:48Paint ostriches on them.
07:49See if I care.
07:50Better than that, get an ostrich egg and paint an elephant on it.
07:52I should leave you at this point.
07:53Bon voyage.
08:01Elizabeth.
08:02Honey.
08:03Honey.
08:05Funny joke.
08:07What have you got against bunnies?
08:08They hop.
08:09That's what I've got against them.
08:10Hop, hop, hop.
08:11Like a bunch of fools.
08:13It probably all goes back to that nasty childhood of yours.
08:16Speaking of childhood, it was a pretty silly trick of yours
08:18pretending to drink the dye.
08:20Hey!
08:22Oh, did you drink any of it?
08:24Oh, no.
08:25Wait a minute.
08:26Can I?
08:27No.
08:28No, your lips are a different shade of purple.
08:30Oh, darling, don't ever do that again.
08:32You might have been poisoned.
08:33Might have been that.
08:35Oh, sweetheart.
08:37Elizabeth.
08:39Aren't you ashamed?
08:45And in just a moment, we'll bring you incident number two
08:47in Life with Elizabeth.
08:54Incident number two in the life of Elizabeth
08:56occurred because she was going to night school again.
08:59Now, every time Elizabeth goes to night school,
09:02it scares the daylights out of Alvin
09:04because lack of enthusiasm is not one of her faults.
09:08Would you like to know what she's studying?
09:10So would Alvin.
09:17Oh, hi.
09:18Hey.
09:19How was school?
09:20Oh, just wonderful, darling.
09:22Alvin, will you put some newspaper or something on there, please?
09:25Sure.
09:26What's in the box?
09:28What you've ever seen, sweetheart.
09:30What's in the box, honey?
09:31I'll show you in a minute.
09:32There are 25 of us in the class, all women,
09:34and you should see the teacher.
09:36Really nice, huh?
09:37Six foot two, 190 pounds, shoulders like this.
09:40Mrs. Livingston.
09:43The class will be enrolled in this time.
09:45Something useful for a change.
09:46You'll see.
09:47Want me to help you with this?
09:48No, I'll do it.
09:49Wait a minute.
09:50I want to do it myself.
09:51Oh.
09:52Don't look now.
09:53We want to get the gloves.
09:54Don't look a minute.
09:55Oh, OK.
09:56Yeah.
09:57All right.
09:58You ready?
09:59Yeah, yeah.
10:00Come on.
10:01Let's see it.
10:02There.
10:03I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't bad.
10:04What is it?
10:05Modeling clay.
10:07Oh, I thought it was a lumpy cake.
10:10Now that I've enrolled in a sculpturing class,
10:12you'd be amazed at the things you can do with modeling clay.
10:14She gave us each a whole clump to take home.
10:17What are you supposed to do with it?
10:19Anything.
10:20Anything at all.
10:21She said, just ad lib.
10:23OK.
10:24Ad lib me something.
10:28Well, she showed us a whole bunch of these abstract studies.
10:34Look at this.
10:36There.
10:38Museums are just full of abstracts like that.
10:40What do you call it?
10:42Pimped skin.
10:44Well, do you have any more like that?
10:46Sure.
10:47Watch.
10:50What's that?
10:51Pimped skin.
10:53Oh, Elizabeth, you said that these were useful.
10:55They are.
10:57Oh, Alvin, there's more to sculpturing than pimped skin.
10:59Why, for instance, Mrs. Livingston clipped a clump
11:02on a turning wheel, and right in front of her eyes,
11:04she molded a vase.
11:06Can you do that?
11:08Who wants a moldy vase?
11:10No kidding.
11:11Can you do it?
11:12A moldy vase.
11:14I mean, that was a little figure.
11:16Well, what kind of a wheel do you use?
11:18What do you need?
11:20Well, it has to be a flat wheel, like that joke,
11:23and it has to turn like a phonograph.
11:25Phonograph.
11:26Mm-hmm.
11:27A phonograph!
11:29Oh, no, no, no.
11:31Oh, come on, honey.
11:32Just one little vase.
11:34You're not going to put that clump of mud on the phonograph.
11:36Now, you think of something else.
11:38I've got it.
11:40Oh, Elizabeth.
11:42You're so smart.
11:44There's our turning wheel.
11:46Well, how's that going to work?
11:48Well, as the wheel turns,
11:50I just mold a vase with my hands.
11:52Well, what kind of...
11:53You'll see.
11:54First of all, I make two holes for my thumbs.
11:56What kind of power do you use to turn the wheel?
11:58Alvin power.
12:00Come on, give it a turn.
12:02Alvin power.
12:07Now, don't get sarcastic, Alvin.
12:09Come on, turn it.
12:13Why do you keep stopping it?
12:15Well, can't you turn it like this?
12:18It isn't a roulette wheel, you know.
12:20May as well be for all the vases we're getting out of it.
12:22How's that?
12:24You're fighting me, Alvin.
12:26Look, stop talking and make a vase.
12:28How's that?
12:29Well, can you turn the wheel just a little bit faster?
12:31Think of yourself as a paddle boat
12:33going up the Mississippi.
12:35Any sign of a vase yet?
12:36Not yet.
12:37Oh!
12:38What's the matter?
12:39Stop the boat.
12:40My thumbs are twisted around each other.
12:41No, I'm screwing the wheel.
12:45Look at you, Alvin.
12:47Pinched skin.
12:48Well, let's forget it.
12:50No, I'm supposed to...
12:53Wait, I know what I'll do.
12:55Sure, that's what I'll do.
12:57Honey, will you get me a...
12:59Get me a spoon and a pair of scissors
13:01out of the kitchen, will you?
13:02Well, what's this going to be, honey?
13:03Never mind, you'll see.
13:05Here, take this out of my way.
13:07More mud pies, huh?
13:09Let's see here.
13:11One of these, how do I...
13:20Well, there you are.
13:23What's that?
13:24It's your head.
13:26Thanks, I'll keep this one.
13:28No, I'd like to sculpt your face,
13:30if you don't mind, darling.
13:31I don't expect it to be very good,
13:33but I'd like to try.
13:34Well, since you put it that way,
13:36would you like to have me pose for you?
13:38Gil, here, you sit right down here.
13:40Oh, Heidi, this isn't going to be easy.
13:42I have delicate features, you know.
13:44Say, how do you start one of these things?
13:46Uh, I think I'll start with the ears.
14:01Easy, knock my brains out.
14:09Oh, this is going to be good, honey.
14:11You'll be so proud of me.
14:13I know.
14:15Hey, you'd make a good barber.
14:17Barber.
14:19There you go.
14:21That's really something.
14:25What's this for?
14:27I want to see how close together your eyes are.
14:29Try to get a soulful expression
14:31in the eyes, Elizabeth.
14:33Come on, easy, easy.
14:35That's it, now.
14:36Come on, now, now.
14:39I think I got them a little too deep set, honey.
14:43Now for the nose.
14:45You through with the eyes already?
14:47Well, you have to remember, this is an abstract.
14:49I'm not good enough to do an exact likeness.
14:51Well, I'll give you a profile for the nose anyway.
14:53How's that?
14:55Oh, thanks, hon.
14:56Good?
14:59There we are.
15:01All done.
15:02What do you think?
15:03All done?
15:05It's beautiful.
15:07Really.
15:09I really think I'm going to call it Pinched Alvin.
15:11Yeah, well, you do that.
15:13I'll go make some coffee.
15:14Hey, Alvin, wait a minute.
15:16You really like it?
15:18Well, sure I do.
15:23I'm going to give it to you for your office.
15:25No, I mean, well, look,
15:27I wouldn't want to deprive you of all of that nice clay.
15:30Well, I wouldn't want to deprive you of all that pleasure.
15:32And not only that, I'm going to make the coffee.
15:34Well, you...
15:43What was that?
15:45I was carrying some books.
15:47A funny thing happened from here to over here,
15:49and one of them fell off and just slipped.
15:51Oh, honey, well, don't worry about it, Lemmy.
15:53I'll make you another one.
15:55I've got a better idea.
15:57Look, look, let's make a vase.
15:59We can use a phonograph, okay?
16:00Well, you sure we won't hurt him?
16:01Oh, no, of course not.
16:02You're right.
16:03There you are.
16:04I'll put it on here. You turn it on.
16:05Oh, sure I will.
16:06Just think, we'll have a long-playing vase.
16:08You can tell your friends.
16:09You can leave it here at the house, of course.
16:17And in just a moment,
16:18we'll bring you incident number three
16:20in Life with Elizabeth.
16:26Incident number three in the life of Elizabeth
16:28occurred in the patio.
16:30Ah, there was work to be done this day
16:31because the flowers that bloom in the spring,
16:33tra la,
16:35look pretty tired by summer.
16:44Come on, honey, let's get started.
16:52Why is it I always wind up
16:54with the heavy stuff on you supervised?
16:56Where should we start?
16:58With the peat moss.
17:00Peat moss.
17:02I wonder who he was.
17:04I don't know, honey. Moss is moss.
17:06Where do they get this stuff?
17:08Look, I don't know.
17:09Will you help me get rid of these chairs,
17:10this furniture stuff?
17:12I know where they don't get it.
17:14They don't get it from Rolling Stones.
17:16What?
17:18The moss.
17:20Are you still talking about that?
17:21Come on, help me move this furniture,
17:22will you, honey?
17:24You know why they don't get it from Rolling Stones?
17:26Hey, you think we ought to move the couch out?
17:28Because Rolling Stones gather no moss.
17:34I kill me.
17:36What's so funny?
17:38I just told myself a joke.
17:41Oh, I see.
17:43Look, honey, how about moving this table over there,
17:44will you?
17:47You ought to listen once in a while, Alvin,
17:49you know that?
17:50You're missing some good stuff.
17:52I'll take my chances.
17:54Wow, without this furniture,
17:55this lawn looks awful.
17:57That's what we get for planning Dying Chondra.
18:00I think maybe we better put the furniture back.
18:02Dying Chondra?
18:04What?
18:06Dying Chondra.
18:07Dichondra.
18:08That was enough.
18:11Where do we start?
18:13Let's do this next week.
18:14Oh, no, you don't.
18:16That's what I get for clowning around.
18:18Why don't we start with the furniture?
18:20Oh, that's a good idea.
18:21I hate clowning around.
18:23Why don't we start with the planter box
18:24and work back toward the fence?
18:26Okay.
18:28Hey, if you want to see some pooped snapdragons,
18:30look at these guys.
18:32What happened?
18:33Even their snaps are dragging.
18:35Out they go.
18:36Oh, I'm sorry.
18:37It's all right.
18:39That wasn't a bad one about their snaps are dragging,
18:40was it?
18:41Not bad.
18:42Hey, look at this.
18:43There's a sad-looking character.
18:46Speaking of that,
18:47guess who moved in down the street?
18:49Who?
18:50Remember that girl we met
18:51on the Catalina boat last summer?
18:53Blabs?
18:55Babs.
18:56She's moved into the old Thompson house.
18:58Now, that is funny.
19:00Imagine having her for a neighbor.
19:02I'm not kidding.
19:04You mean the one with the accent?
19:06The one that got seasinked?
19:08She moved in yesterday.
19:10She doesn't have an accent.
19:11She just makes up her own language.
19:13Do you realize that we have
19:14the weirdest collection of neighbors in the world?
19:16Let's see.
19:17There's Chloe and Pierre Skinridge.
19:18The guy across the way
19:19that's always washing the automobile,
19:20you know, every 10 seconds.
19:22Want me to help?
19:23Hey, don't stop working.
19:24Come on.
19:25Mix this with the soil.
19:26What's wrong with Chloe Skinridge?
19:28Yeah, she fights with everyone
19:29who comes to visit us, for one thing.
19:31She usually loses.
19:33Yoo-hoo!
19:34What's wrong with William Gilliam?
19:36Oh, just the world's worst gossip, that's all.
19:39Yoo-hoo!
19:41Yoo-hoo?
19:43I thought it was the clock in the house.
19:45Clock says yoo-hoo?
19:46Cuckoo.
19:47What's wrong with the Bonifaces
19:48across the street?
19:49One thing.
19:50He's always washing his car.
19:51Yoo-hoo!
19:53That came from the fence.
19:54Yoo-hoo!
19:57Yoo-hoo!
19:58Yoo-hoo!
19:59Go through the gate.
20:00Oh, for goodness sake.
20:01They're both shot in the fence.
20:02There's a gate.
20:04Babs, the gate is right there.
20:07Thanks.
20:09We have to go get her, couldn't we?
20:10You sure could.
20:11You look like a couple of yo-yos.
20:13Babs!
20:14Babs?
20:16Come on in.
20:17Female Richard, if I may.
20:19Hello, Elizabeth.
20:20Hi, Alvin.
20:21Hi, Babs.
20:22I thought the gate was locked.
20:23It doesn't have a lock on it.
20:25Gee, this sure is a nice yard you got here.
20:28Well, is it comfortable like this?
20:31Yes, yes.
20:32It's your home field.
20:33Get up.
20:34Alvin, uh,
20:35where would we go on working, do we?
20:37Later on, maybe we can have some coffee.
20:39I'll be glad to help.
20:40I want to get some ideas for my new house.
20:43You don't need such a big pot for snapdragons.
20:48Alvin, why don't you go get me that plat of stonks?
20:50I just love stonks.
20:56What's this?
20:58Peat moss.
20:59Well, he's in pretty bad shape.
21:07Can I say something funny?
21:09Sure.
21:10Can I say something funny?
21:12Wonderful.
21:13It's going to be a pleasure to have you around.
21:15I just told a joke, Alvin.
21:17Oh, good for you.
21:19That's why you love these stonks.
21:21Tell him the joke.
21:22I don't know which part of it was funny.
21:25Babs here is in pretty sad shape.
21:31Now tell him the joke I told.
21:36Alvin, would you go get the other trowel from...
21:38Oh, I'll get it.
21:39I'll get it.
21:40No, he'll get it.
21:41I'll get it.
21:42Don't you ever talk to me about how stupid Richard is.
21:46She isn't stupid.
21:48She's friendly and a lot of fun and I like her.
21:50Okay, okay.
21:51Could I have some of the stonks, Elizabeth?
21:55You don't have to be sarcastic, Alvin.
21:58A person doesn't have to be a brilliant conversationalist, you know, to be...
22:01Here.
22:03I meant one of these.
22:05Oh, a towel.
22:09Don't you say one word.
22:11I say a thing.
22:13Your eyebrows just made a whole speech.
22:17Get out of here, you bum!
22:19Oh, that's nice.
22:20Now she's insulting the neighbors.
22:22Here she comes.
22:23I'm sure she has a good explanation.
22:26I got rid of him.
22:27What happened?
22:28A man was trying to drive his car right through your yard.
22:32Through our yard?
22:33Right back there where the cement is.
22:36It's the alley.
22:39You go on.
22:40Get the water in.
22:42Did I tell another joke?
22:44How could you take that out of the...
22:45You're being rude.
22:48How would you like some slips for your garden?
22:51Slips?
22:52Would they grow?
22:54Not those kind of slips.
22:55Cutting.
22:56Plant cutting.
22:57Oh, that would be nice.
22:59Could I use this box to carry them in?
23:02You sure can.
23:03Here.
23:04Here are the snippers.
23:05Now you take whatever you want.
23:07I can't find it.
23:08What's he looking for?
23:09The watering can.
23:10I threw it at the man.
23:14Never mind, dear.
23:18Mind if I cut that ivory over there?
23:21Anything you like.
23:23Okay.
23:24How about this?
23:27The man must have run over it.
23:30Well, it'll still be good for watering flats.
23:34No, no.
23:35You're going to keep defending.
23:36Now what's she doing?
23:37She's cutting a few slips for her garden.
23:41Those are ivory slips she's putting in the bunks.
23:45Elizabeth, for the last time, I'm telling you, she's...
23:48I like her.
23:55Looks like she's chopping down the hedge.
23:58It's not chopping down any hedge.
24:00That's my camellia bush.
24:02My camellia bush!
24:05Easy, easy.
24:06Don't you see?
24:07Why did you have to sharpen the scissors?
24:09You said you like her, remember?
24:11You're going to go through the shrubbery like a plague of locusts.
24:14Honey, wait.
24:15Let me go.
24:18You all right?
24:22I'm all right.
24:28Barbara.
24:31Do you think I have enough?
24:33You can start your own botanical garden.
24:34You're not supposed to pull them off by the roots.
24:37Oh, I'm sorry.
24:38What's this one, Elizabeth?
24:40I haven't the slightest idea.
24:44Did you by any chance find this growing up the side of the house?
24:47Yeah.
24:48Clear up to the roots.
24:50The television leading wire.
24:52What's so funny about that?
24:53That's not funny.
24:55Did I tell enough jokes?
24:57I want you to tell...
24:58Say goodbye to the people.
25:00Goodbye, everybody.
25:03And in just a moment, Betty White will return to say goodbye.
25:11And now here to say goodbye to you is the lovely star of our show, Betty White.
25:17Thank you, Jack.
25:18Thank you, everybody.
25:20Thank you so much.
25:22I don't know.
25:23I think Alvin and Elizabeth, they're either going to have to lower their fence
25:25or get Babs a pogo stick.
25:27Goodbye, everybody.
25:57© BF-WATCH TV 2021