• 2 years ago

Category

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Fun
Transcript
00:00 [music]
00:20 You have a date with the angel, starring Betty White.
00:26 Bill Williams as Gus Angel, presented by Plymouth.
00:33 Star of the forward look, and the Plymouth dealers of America.
00:43 The time, seven months after Vicki and Gus Angel were married.
00:47 The main character, Francis. License number 34728.
00:52 The plot, a shaggy dog story.
00:56 Mrs. Deeks, I did not buy the cookies from...
01:00 You're not giving me a chance to explain.
01:02 Honey, you don't owe that woman an explanation.
01:05 When your little girl came to the door with the cookies, I didn't have any change.
01:08 And when the Grayson girl got here, I did. It's as simple as...
01:12 spite had nothing to do with it.
01:17 Mrs. Deeks, I will not allow my wife to get mixed up in a neighborhood feud about a bunch of silly cookies.
01:23 You stay up at your end of the block, we'll stay down here and we'll get along just fine.
01:29 Well, I guess I told her, huh?
01:32 You sure did. Only she hung up on me.
01:41 Oh, well, maybe it's just as well that way.
01:46 Vicki, I think we should at least consider moving out of this neighborhood.
01:51 Oh, honey, no.
01:54 This is not a neighborhood. It's a battlefield.
02:00 We can stay out of their quarrels, only... only don't talk about moving away.
02:05 Gosh, honey, I just love this house. We... we picked it out together and I couldn't think of...
02:11 Francis! Here, Francis!
02:14 Murph's a little early tonight.
02:17 He usually doesn't lose his dog till 8.30.
02:22 Well, at least he loves Francis.
02:24 Sure, sweetie, but wouldn't Murph be more sensible buying a lock for the gate than wandering around the neighborhood with a plate of liver?
02:32 Francis!
02:34 Ten to one, he blames the whole thing on the Finleys.
02:37 Hi, kids.
02:38 Hi, Murph.
02:40 Have you seen Francis?
02:41 No. You want us to help you find him?
02:44 Oh, no, this is old stuff for me and Francis.
02:47 You know who lets him out every night, don't you?
02:49 Those miserable Finleys next door to me.
02:54 Do you mean they deliberately open your gate?
02:57 No. Francis jumps over the fence into their yard and they leave their gate open.
03:04 How's Cassie?
03:05 Oh, swell. She's spending the weekend with that no-good sister of hers.
03:10 Well, see you later, kids.
03:12 Bye, Murph.
03:13 So long, Murph.
03:15 Francis!
03:17 Come and get your daddy's liver.
03:21 See, darling? It can be done.
03:25 I guess it can indeed. And, honey, I feel the same as you about this house.
03:29 Oh, I'm sure.
03:32 Oh, no, don't tell me he's run out of liver already.
03:36 Honey, we've got to do something about this neighbor.
03:42 Oh, hi, Mr. Finley.
03:43 Hello, Mrs. Angel.
03:45 Hello, Mrs. Angel's husband.
03:49 Hello, Mr. Finley.
03:50 I've come to say goodbye.
03:53 Well, come on in a minute.
03:58 You taking a trip?
04:01 No, I'm running away from home.
04:05 Again?
04:07 Where are you going, Mr. Finley?
04:09 Oh, I guess I'll just get out on the highway and follow the radiator cap.
04:14 And that isn't easy when you don't have a car.
04:19 How's your son?
04:22 Rotten to the core.
04:25 You should hear the things he said to me.
04:27 We'd rather not know, Mr. Finley.
04:30 What Mr. Angel means is we can all remain good friends if we don't know too much about each other's problems.
04:37 I don't care what he means.
04:39 I wasn't going to tell you anyway.
04:42 I am glad we all think alike.
04:44 Because it's none of your business.
04:47 You have a wonderful runaway.
04:50 If my son Roger comes looking for me, tell him not to worry.
04:54 I brought my night shirt.
04:56 We will.
04:57 Even if he wants me, I'll be at a cheap hotel somewhere, hungry and cold.
05:03 We will.
05:05 Tell my boy that after they throw me out of the cheap hotel, I'll probably last a week or two before I starve, so he mustn't worry.
05:17 Goodbye, Mr. Finley.
05:18 Goodbye.
05:21 See what I mean?
05:22 You have to live in this neighborhood in order to believe it.
05:27 But you have to admit, he's kind of cute.
05:31 He did everything but play hearts and flowers.
05:36 And that suit.
05:37 He dresses like he hasn't a dime.
05:39 And you and I both know he could buy and sell everybody on the block.
05:43 Can't you see him wandering around downtown someplace and people are handing him money for cups of coffee?
05:49 Yeah.
05:54 He went through that whole routine just so we'd ask him to stay overnight, you know.
05:58 I know it.
05:59 And for once, we were smart enough not to fall for it.
06:03 Gus, you don't think he might get into trouble, do you?
06:09 No, I don't know.
06:11 I just get a picture of him wandering around downtown.
06:14 And I get a picture of him being picked up for vagrancy.
06:22 Hey, you're not serious, are you?
06:24 Oh, of course not.
06:27 Oh, it's just that other people don't understand him like we do and I'd hate to see anything happen to him.
06:33 So would I.
06:35 I know that look on your face.
06:38 No.
06:42 Nothing's going to happen to him.
06:44 He'll go downtown and...
06:47 No.
06:49 He just got through talking about the exact...
06:54 Besides, where will he sleep?
07:03 No, honey.
07:06 Well, just for the night, though.
07:10 I'll call him before he gets too far away.
07:14 Mr. Finkley!
07:23 Uh, we, uh...
07:26 Did you forget something?
07:28 No.
07:29 Did you call me?
07:32 We were wondering if you'd like to spend the night here.
07:36 Well, you're changing all my plans, but I wouldn't want to offend you.
07:43 [laughter]
07:46 [door slams]
07:49 [music]
07:54 [doorbell rings]
08:01 [laughter]
08:08 [music]
08:14 [whistling]
08:16 One, two, three, four.
08:19 Now what's going on?
08:21 I don't know.
08:22 Four, one, two, three, four.
08:24 Clap your hands and back for more.
08:26 Five, six, seven, eight.
08:28 Tell yourself you're feeling great.
08:30 One, two, three, four.
08:32 Hit the waves and head for shore.
08:34 Five, six...
08:36 Who in the world could be calling at 6.30 in the morning?
08:39 Please.
08:41 Well, it's about time you were calling, Roger.
08:46 For you.
08:47 [laughter]
08:51 Hello?
08:54 Oh, no.
08:56 Murph's dog didn't come home all night.
08:58 Mm-hmm.
08:59 Yeah.
09:00 Oh, well, of course.
09:02 Of course he won't mind.
09:04 Right.
09:05 I won't mind what?
09:07 Darling, I told Murph you'd drive him around the neighborhood
09:09 to look for Francis.
09:11 Honey, this is Saturday.
09:13 I was planning to sleep till 10.
09:14 Cassie has their car.
09:15 The poor man is frantic.
09:17 He's called the pound.
09:18 It'll only take you a minute to jump into your clothes.
09:20 Come on, sweetheart.
09:21 It's the least we can do.
09:22 [music]
09:30 Now, Francis.
09:31 [phone rings]
09:33 Answer the phone, Father.
09:35 I'm busy.
09:36 Now, I have another set of 10 questions, Francis.
09:39 [phone rings]
09:41 Excuse me.
09:45 [phone rings]
09:47 58 affirmatives.
09:49 Hello?
09:50 Hello, Sonny.
09:51 If you find your father's muffler, send it to the third park
09:55 bench from the left in Pershing Square.
09:57 [laughter]
10:00 I'll tell him.
10:02 I'll tell him I want negatives.
10:04 Father, you had another call.
10:06 [laughter]
10:12 Oh, Mr. Finley.
10:14 Has Mr. Angel come back yet?
10:16 No.
10:17 Well, I hope they have better luck finding Francis than I did.
10:20 [music]
10:31 This is me again, Son.
10:33 Your daddy broke his leg.
10:35 But you mustn't worry.
10:36 I'm setting the bone myself.
10:38 [laughter]
10:45 Does he answer the phone when you call, Mr. Finley?
10:48 Oh, yes.
10:49 He'll call right back.
10:50 You'll see.
10:51 But you've called several times, and he hasn't--
10:54 by the way, have you given him our number?
10:58 That's why he hasn't called.
11:00 I knew there was a reason.
11:02 [laughter]
11:03 Yes, sir.
11:04 [music]
11:07 Sonny, the number here at the park bench is Oxford 71717.
11:13 [laughter]
11:15 Now he'll call back and apologize.
11:17 You'll see.
11:18 He misses me.
11:19 [music]
11:29 [laughter]
11:31 I thought maybe the party line was using it.
11:35 Come on, Mr. Finley.
11:36 I want you to go out on the patio and get some fresh air.
11:39 I'll call you when your son calls.
11:41 I have a little work I want to clean up.
11:43 All right.
11:44 Just holler when he calls.
11:45 I sure will.
11:46 [music]
11:49 Vicki.
11:50 [music]
11:52 Did you find Francis?
11:53 No.
11:54 Murf thinks he was stolen.
11:55 He's calling the police.
11:56 Oh, no.
11:57 I see you got rid of our star boarder, huh?
12:00 He's out on the patio, and don't you pick on him.
12:02 If you're going to give up that easily, I'll find Francis myself.
12:05 Honey, let's carry on one conversation at a time.
12:08 Where are you going?
12:09 First, I'm going to tell off a certain Roger Finley.
12:12 Honey, let's stay--
12:13 Murf, that poor man has called that no good son of his at least 10 times.
12:18 First, he told him he was freezing to death on a park bench.
12:22 Then he told him the cheap hotel was on fire.
12:26 But he wasn't to worry.
12:27 He jumped out into a net he was holding himself.
12:30 [laughter]
12:34 And you know that no good Roger of his didn't even ask him to come home?
12:38 If he'd have told me that, I wouldn't let him within 10 miles of the house.
12:42 Oh, he doesn't expect Roger to believe him.
12:44 He just wants to be invited back.
12:46 Well, now Roger's going to beg his father to come home if I have to break his psychological neck.
12:51 Uh, honey, as long as we seem to be mixed up in the middle of this, why don't you let me get down there?
12:56 No, Gus.
12:57 You'll probably lose your temper.
12:59 [laughter]
13:01 Now, let's get on with the questioning.
13:03 [doorbell rings]
13:04 Sit.
13:05 Excuse me.
13:10 Mr. Finley, I try not to inter--
13:13 Francis!
13:15 Well, honey, where have you been?
13:18 I've been looking all over the neighborhood for you.
13:20 And here I was, safe and sound with Mr. Finley.
13:23 Mrs. Angel, I suggest you stop that kind of talk.
13:27 The dog will think you're a fool.
13:29 [laughter]
13:31 Do you realize half the neighborhood has been looking for Francis here?
13:35 When was the last time he had something to eat?
13:38 Oh, he and I sat down to a meal just a few minutes ago.
13:41 Here's the entry.
13:42 Friday, 1110 PM.
13:44 1110 PM?
13:45 That was last night.
13:47 1110 PM serves bacon and eggs.
13:49 Animal has a tendency to eat too fast.
13:51 Prefers eggs over easy.
13:53 [laughter]
13:56 Do you know that your father spent the night at our house, Mr. Finley?
14:00 Please, Mrs. Angel, let me get on with the experiment.
14:03 Francis, come over here.
14:04 Francis?
14:06 Is that tale of yours of any real value in your daily living?
14:10 Do you expect him to answer that?
14:13 Well, why not?
14:15 You talked to him.
14:17 Well, I did not.
14:19 Well, you certainly did.
14:20 You said, "Where have you been?
14:22 We've been looking all over for you,
14:24 and here we is, all safe and sound with Mr. Finley."
14:28 [laughter]
14:30 Well, I didn't expect him to understand me.
14:33 Actually, it was all I could do to follow your meaning.
14:36 [laughter]
14:38 Father, telephone.
14:41 Mr. Finley is at our house.
14:45 Your father is at our house.
14:47 Do you hear me, Mr. Finley?
14:48 Of course.
14:50 Father!
14:51 [laughter]
14:54 [phone ringing]
14:56 Hello.
14:58 Hello, Sonny.
14:59 Your father is on a freight train,
15:02 and the number here is Oxford 71717.
15:07 Thank you.
15:12 May I use your phone?
15:14 I'm glad you asked me that.
15:16 I left some leftover questions in the kitchen.
15:18 [phone ringing]
15:27 [phone ringing]
15:35 Hello?
15:36 Hello, Gus?
15:37 Yeah?
15:38 That's my son.
15:39 Tell him I'm coming home and throw him out.
15:42 I ran into the weirdest situation down here.
15:45 I can match your weird for weird.
15:47 [laughter]
15:50 Tell Mr. Finley, the one you have up there,
15:53 tell him his son wants him to come home.
15:56 He just informed me he is coming home
15:58 and throwing Roger out.
16:00 That's right.
16:01 Why should I run away?
16:03 I own the house.
16:04 [laughter]
16:07 Does Roger really want his father back?
16:10 Well, it's a little hard to say,
16:12 because he thinks his father is here.
16:15 Honey, I'm getting sick and tired of these silly people.
16:18 Come on home and let them fly apart by themselves.
16:21 Now, it isn't as bad as it sounds.
16:24 As far as I can tell, Roger's been working on an experiment
16:27 all night and lost track of time.
16:29 Oh.
16:30 Well, I guess we've all done that.
16:33 Not like this we haven't.
16:36 Anyway, he's been carrying on these long, involved
16:38 conversations with the dog, and that's what I want you--
16:41 Wait a minute.
16:42 Wait a minute.
16:44 Back up.
16:46 What did you just say?
16:47 Honey, listen to me and don't interrupt.
16:50 Roger has Francis down here.
16:51 He's not hurting him.
16:52 He's just talking to him, and that's what you've
16:54 got to make clear to Murph.
16:56 Make it clear to me first.
16:59 He's asking Francis a series of questions.
17:02 He's asking the dog questions?
17:05 Yes, but that's not important.
17:06 I'll be right there.
17:09 Gus.
17:10 Now, these questions may not seem pertinent, Mrs. Angel,
17:16 but I have a theory that any animal, intelligent animal,
17:20 that lives among human beings all its life
17:22 soon learns to understand what those humans are saying.
17:26 Well, I imagine that's possible, but you
17:28 don't have to explain it to me.
17:30 Well, I just didn't want you to think I was being weird.
17:34 But I've seen this dog go out and bring in the morning
17:36 paper at a command.
17:38 Not just paper, but go out and get the paper
17:41 and bring it in.
17:42 It's under the hedge.
17:43 And he does it.
17:44 And so when he wandered in this evening,
17:46 I decided I'd do a little research.
17:49 I've heard that animals react to a tone of voice.
17:53 True, but how much tone can you put in the word hedge,
17:56 Mrs. Angel?
17:58 Now, I've noted four mannerisms that seem to indicate yes
18:01 and three which may suggest no.
18:04 Really?
18:05 Well, I'm not saying for certain that it's
18:07 possible to communicate with this dog.
18:09 I'm merely trying to find out.
18:11 Well, if there's no harm in trying.
18:14 Mrs. Angel, since you seem to love the dog
18:17 and the dog obviously likes you, why
18:19 don't you ask him a question?
18:22 No, thank you.
18:23 Well, to quote you, there's no harm in trying.
18:26 Question 212, Mrs. Angel.
18:28 Just speak to him as though you were speaking to me.
18:33 Francis.
18:34 Oh, I can't.
18:35 This is silly.
18:37 For the sake of my experiment, Mrs. Angel,
18:40 ask just one or two questions and I won't impose any more.
18:47 Francis.
18:49 Oh, really, Mr. Kuhn?
18:52 Please, Mrs. Angel.
18:56 Francis.
18:58 If you saw a very small dog carrying a bone,
19:01 would you try to take it away from him?
19:05 That means yes.
19:09 Well, maybe he heard somebody outside,
19:11 or maybe he itches or something.
19:13 No, I don't think so.
19:14 He usually reacts that way to that type of question.
19:18 Ask him 220.
19:21 Francis, if you saw a great big dog carrying a bone,
19:24 would you try to take it away from him?
19:27 [howling]
19:32 That means no.
19:34 The animal is apparently a coward.
19:38 Try 221.
19:41 Question 221, Francis.
19:43 If you had your choice between a bowl of food and chasing a cat,
19:46 would you chase the cat?
19:48 Oh, that's not a fair question.
19:49 It depends on how hungry he was at the time.
19:52 Good thinking.
19:54 Vicki, what in the world are you doing?
19:58 Hi, honey.
19:59 Mr. Finley's carrying on the most interesting experiment.
20:02 So I see.
20:03 Now I have a wife that talks to dogs.
20:07 I felt that way too at first about it.
20:09 But, you know, Mr. Finley says that animals understand more than we think they do.
20:12 That's all.
20:13 Watch.
20:14 Francis.
20:15 Francis, listen to me a minute.
20:18 Francis, if you saw a very small dog carrying a bone,
20:21 would you try to take it away from him?
20:24 [barking]
20:27 That doesn't prove anything.
20:29 Oh, his answers are 80% sensible out of 220 questions.
20:33 See?
20:34 I--
20:36 Father, where have you been?
20:37 You've had several phone calls.
20:42 Thank you, laddie.
20:43 Isn't it pleasant around here now that I'm back?
20:46 Oh, I suppose so.
20:48 See?
20:49 I told you he'd miss me.
20:54 What's he talking about?
20:56 Father?
20:58 Anyway, I'm glad the dog's safe.
21:00 When I told Murf, he went screaming for the police.
21:04 You don't believe all this stuff, do you?
21:07 Oh, of course not.
21:09 But you have to admit, it's a fascinating idea.
21:12 Francis, come here a minute.
21:14 Francis, question 222.
21:18 Do you find it difficult to see with that ridiculous haircut?
21:22 Oh, come on.
21:26 Well, do you?
21:31 I admit that could mean anything, but Mr. Finley says it means no.
21:35 Francis, question 223.
21:37 Do you have--
21:39 Oh, well, this is a little more personal.
21:41 Go on, ask him.
21:42 He won't mind.
21:43 Francis, do you have one particular lady friend
21:45 whom you prefer--
21:49 Well, hi, Murf.
21:51 Here's Francis.
21:52 Hiya, Francis.
21:54 How's the boy?
21:57 Who are these people?
21:58 Oh, they're my neighbors, and they're all right.
22:01 What are their names, and I don't think so.
22:05 Lady, were you talking to this dog?
22:09 Well, yes, but you don't know what happened.
22:12 What about you?
22:13 What's your excuse?
22:14 Me?
22:15 I was just standing here.
22:16 Look, the next time, don't call the police.
22:18 Call the little men in the white coats.
22:20 Oh, that's right.
22:21 Must have gotten a little excited.
22:22 I don't want to--
22:23 I'm not supposed to know charges against nobody.
22:25 If you call the police, you're spending taxpayers' money.
22:28 Don't forget that.
22:30 I hope you know what you're doing.
22:32 Don't worry, Francis.
22:33 It wasn't your fault.
22:34 No, no, no, no.
22:35 It's going to be fine.
22:36 Don't you worry.
22:37 I have a lady dog at home.
22:39 If this animal tells you in the next conversation
22:42 you have with him that he's not going steady,
22:45 let me know, will you?
22:47 [dog barking]
22:49 Absolutely right, Frank.
22:58 And not only that, but do you realize that after today,
23:01 we are the boobs of the neighborhood?
23:03 Naturally, we are.
23:07 We talk to dogs.
23:09 And that police officer did everything but hand us
23:11 a couple of dunce caps.
23:13 [dog barking]
23:15 Here we go again.
23:16 And we don't want any more cookies, either.
23:20 Hi, kids.
23:21 Thanks a lot for helping me get Francis back.
23:24 Come on, boys.
23:26 That's all right, Murf.
23:27 Murf, you've got to find a way to keep that dog home.
23:30 Oh, I got it all figured out.
23:32 Vicki, explain to him he shouldn't jump over the fence.
23:35 Well, why don't you try leaving the liver in your yard?
23:38 The way it is now, he probably thinks he gets it
23:40 as a reward for jumping the fence.
23:42 Thanks a lot.
23:43 Well, we'll see you later, fellas.
23:44 Huh?
23:45 [dog barking]
23:47 Oh.
23:48 Sick of him.
23:49 [dog barking]
23:50 Oh, don't worry.
23:51 He don't eat nothing that ain't on a plate.
23:54 [laughter]
23:57 Now, say what you came to say, sonny.
23:59 Oh, father.
24:01 I understand I have put you to considerable inconvenience.
24:05 Apologize, trouble you've caused.
24:07 We wish to apologize for the trouble we may have caused.
24:10 Not we, I.
24:12 I wish to apologize for the trouble I have caused.
24:17 Apologies aren't necessary, Mr.--
24:19 By my experiment.
24:20 By my-- oh, father, for goodness sake.
24:22 Well, that's all over, so let's forget it.
24:25 OK.
24:26 Now, Roger, tell him about your new experiment.
24:28 My new-- no.
24:31 Good day.
24:32 Roger?
24:34 It has to do with human behavior.
24:37 Because of you and Mr. Angel, I've
24:39 discovered that people will believe anything
24:41 that appears to be logical.
24:43 Anything that appears to be logical?
24:45 Like what?
24:46 Like thinking you can talk to dogs.
24:49 Come along with me.
24:50 You did that very well.
24:51 You can bear with me.
24:55 How do you like that?
24:56 I'm beginning to think you're right about this neighborhood.
25:01 If there's one thing I can't stand, it's worrying.
25:03 Every time the door--
25:04 Come back here.
25:05 Francis, come back here.
25:06 Stop that.
25:07 It's not even a shout.
25:08 If you want a shout, you want the neighborhood.
25:11 [interposing voices]
25:12 [laughter]
25:15 (SINGING) Got a date with an angel.
25:28 Going to meet her at 7.
25:30 Got a date with an angel, and I'm on my way to heaven.
25:35 [theme music]
25:38 Ladies and gentlemen, you're a Plymouth dealer
26:03 invites you to watch the Lawrence Welk program, "Top Tunes,"
26:06 and you tell it on this same network.
26:08 Tom Kennedy speaking.
26:10 Good night, everybody.
26:11 [applause]
26:15 [theme music]
26:18 [BLANK_AUDIO]