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00:00 on King of the Hill. And now Megalomart has propane and propane at Megalomart? I gotta
00:06 let you go. You're firing me? You don't have to take the test now. I gave the job to somebody
00:12 else. How you doing Arlen? Are you ready to soft rock? I'm breaking up with you. Huh?
00:25 I'm a big drunk. Buckley and the Lad are in there.
00:32 [Music]
00:59 We must be getting old Connie. We're twelve Bobby. We are old. We've got to figure out
01:06 what we're going to do with our lives. I'm going to go to college and study prop cometry.
01:11 I can't decide between being a concert violinist or leading the fight against the overuse of
01:17 antibiotics. Be a violinist. That way I could be your opening act and we could travel the
01:23 world together. Your dad got blown up.
01:30 [Music]
01:32 Hank! Please someone help me! Hank!
01:40 My husband is in there. He had to take this job because nobody else would hire him.
01:47 We're doing everything we can Mrs. Mangione. I got two.
02:06 Oh Hank! You're alive! I'm alright Peggy. There's two more inside.
02:13 Oh thank God you're okay. I was so worried. Oh and Luann! Oh my lord.
02:26 Boo! Oh my head feels weird.
02:35 [Music]
02:37 [Scream]
02:47 I don't feel so good.
02:58 What about Buckley? Did you find him? I'm sorry sir. But so far it appears that there were no other survivors.
03:04 Oh my God! I'm Bob!
03:11 What's taking them so long? When do I get to see dad? Your father and Luann will be out soon honey.
03:18 Oh Bobby that is not a mint.
03:22 Alright let's go home. Dad! You're alright! Is there any permanent damage?
03:28 No damage, no scratches, no dents, no dings. Bobby what do you say we go hit the batting cages?
03:34 Okay. Hank slow down. You almost died today. Well that's the good thing about death. You either die or you don't.
03:42 I didn't so let's go hit some balls. Hank are you sure you're okay?
03:48 Oh careful everyone. Now Luann is going to look different. Maybe even hypnotically grotesque. But do not stare.
03:57 I'm real sorry about Buckley Luann and your hair.
04:02 Bobby! Luann honey it'll be fine. We will just cover it up with makeup and it'll be fine.
04:08 No Aunt Peggy. I'm not going to use hair and makeups anymore.
04:12 I learned something from that explosion. Beauty doesn't last forever. It can be blown off your head.
04:19 Oh Hank you poor thing. You shouldn't be standing after your accident.
04:28 I'm fine. It's no big deal. Buildings explode. That's what they do.
04:34 Can we please talk about something else? Bill you're in favor of a flat tax. You haven't said a word about it.
04:43 Did you happen to see Buckley or any part whom of attempting to flee the scene of the quote accident?
04:50 Dale the boy is no more. All they found left of him was his name tag.
04:56 Well that's all he wanted them to find. Classic cover up. That boy's no deader than Mother Teresa.
05:03 Hank old girl. Dicklin's back in business. Get ready to pump propane tomorrow.
05:09 Uh right sir. I might be a little late. I don't know if I gave Megalomart my notice.
05:15 Oh I think he gave your notice Nitro.
05:19 I had nothing to do with that explosion which hasn't affected me in any way.
05:26 [phone rings]
05:29 Hello Peggy here. Hank it's Mr. Strickland.
05:33 Busy. Take a message.
05:35 Uh can he call you back? What? Oh I see.
05:42 Hank why did you not tell me Mr. Strickland offered you your job back?
05:46 Well it just happened yesterday.
05:49 Honey he says customers are coming.
05:52 It just happened yesterday. Honey he says customers are lined up out the door.
05:57 Peggy I am in the middle of de-crumbing the toaster.
06:00 Save the crumbs!
06:03 Luann honey look it's two of your old friends the manger babies.
06:12 Sock puppets are for babies. In the real world beauty fades and penguins die a cold horrible death.
06:23 So you're not going back to beauty school then?
06:26 I'm tired of making the world look pretty. I want to show the world for what it is with photo journalism.
06:35 Photo journalism well that's something.
06:38 Look at these pictures of hungry children.
06:42 Why is the CNN logo in the corner?
06:46 This is just a picture of the TV Luann.
06:49 Oh it's nice to be smart Aunt Peggy. Smart and well fed.
06:54 Find the body yet Quincy?
07:00 We have some remains that we're analyzing. You needn't concern yourself.
07:04 I needn't shouldn't I? And maybe I should not know that all Megalomart employees have a $5,000 insurance policy.
07:14 That's nonsense. It was a very straightforward investigation.
07:18 That's what they want you to think.
07:21 Sir we are they.
07:33 Hank fries are up. Honey how are the steaks coming?
07:38 Still tenderizing. Don't want to rush them.
07:46 You have been pounding the be hazes out of that beef since noon. Throw it on the grill. Let's go.
07:53 [Music]
07:56 [Screaming]
08:16 [Screaming]
08:19 Ah dang.
08:27 What's wrong?
08:28 I lost the steaks.
08:31 Huh?
08:33 Mmm gobbets of meat from the sky.
08:38 Doesn't taste like Buckley.
08:43 [Splashing]
08:46 Oh Hank they need your help at Buckley's wake manning the grill.
08:51 What? Grill? Uh is it propane?
08:55 Of course it's propane Hank. They're not Unitarians.
08:59 Well I wouldn't feel right. I barely knew Buckley.
09:03 Wake grilling is something you do for a blood relative or a close friend.
09:08 Now when Bill dies maybe.
09:11 Oh honey what a pretty pretty outfit for a funeral.
09:15 Now before we go you might want to open this.
09:19 Your friends from the beauty academy dropped it off.
09:23 Sorry for your loss. You had beautiful hair.
09:27 They made me a wig.
09:30 We made you a wig.
09:32 They made me a wig.
09:35 Throw it out. Okay well you just go ahead and grieve any way that you want.
09:41 Red book says losing a boyfriend is the fourth most painful loss.
09:45 Right between grandmother and penis.
09:48 Oh I'm not grieving.
09:50 I broke up with Buckley seconds before the explosion and I never look back.
09:55 That's why I still have my eyebrows.
09:58 [Music]
10:03 [Swoosh]
10:05 Something's not right.
10:10 Week's salary says that box is empty.
10:13 I'm going in.
10:15 [Groan]
10:23 Didn't think I'd see you here.
10:28 Guilty conscience huh?
10:30 Why would I have a guilty conscience? I did not blow up the megalomart.
10:35 Oh good I'm glad you said that Hank. I'm wearing a wire for an unrelated matter.
10:40 So when can I expect you back?
10:43 Uh after an appropriate period of grieving sir.
10:48 Buckley was practically a son to me.
10:55 [Music]
11:16 This is depressing. Wanna go play in the cemetery?
11:19 Okay.
11:24 The passing of Buckley is a great loss and a sad occasion.
11:29 Would anyone care to come up and say a few words about Buckley?
11:34 I guess y'all expect me to cry for Buckley.
11:39 But I am not because there are a lot more important things to cry about.
11:44 This is a picture of what a hungry Irish child looks like.
11:50 Fight the occupation! Fight the occupation!
11:55 Ah. Uh. Is there anyone else who'd like to say a few words about Buckley?
12:07 Anybody at all? Name of the boy was Buckley?
12:15 [Footsteps]
12:20 At first I didn't much like Buckley I admit.
12:24 But then I saw how much he pissed off my neighbor Mr. Hank Hill.
12:28 And I decided to seek out this Buckley fellow. Get to know him.
12:33 I grew to love that boy. Now that he's gone I feel a big hole in my life.
12:39 I think we all do.
12:42 Is a world without Buckley a world we want to live in?
12:47 As a Buddhist of course I get comfort from his story.
12:53 I don't have to tell you how much Buddhists should like a story.
12:58 Anyway. Story begin with man being chased by ferocious tiger.
13:08 Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off.
13:12 Half way down he grab on to a branch. He look up.
13:17 He see one hungry tiger. Now he look down.
13:21 He see another hungry tiger waiting for him on a ground below.
13:26 Another good place to be. He know for sure he gonna die.
13:32 Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing from same branch.
13:39 Oh he pluck it and eat it.
13:43 And it was a sweetest tasting strawberry he ever had.
13:51 Can you believe this guy? He tells a joke at a funeral.
13:58 Highly inappropriate.
14:00 Yeah but it was funny.
14:04 I just don't know how one little boy can get so dirty in a cemetery.
14:10 Bobby are you in the bath yet?
14:12 There's no hot water.
14:14 Oh the heater must have gone out again. Will you check on it Hank?
14:20 [Music]
14:30 So is it lit?
14:32 Uh well it's getting there.
14:35 Oh for heaven sakes Hank I will do it myself.
14:38 Mom!
14:41 Hank what is wrong with you?
14:44 You won't go to work. You declined an opportunity to grill.
14:49 And now this? You are acting like you're afraid of propane.
14:53 Oh my god.
14:58 Welcome to the Survivors of Propane Explosion support group.
15:04 Let's start with Chuck.
15:06 Ever since the explosion every song I play sounds like feels so good.
15:11 Maybe that's because it does feel so good to be alive.
15:16 No that's not it.
15:18 Mr. Hill tell us how you're dealing with your grief.
15:22 Nothing much to talk about.
15:24 I was in a propane explosion and now I'm afraid of propane. Next person.
15:28 Do you think he needs shock treatment?
15:30 Perhaps. Sounds to me that what you're really afraid of is your own death.
15:35 What? Nobody's afraid of death. That's crazy.
15:39 I'm afraid of propane.
15:41 You're transferring Mr. Hill. Doesn't it scare you?
15:44 The thought of missing all your family's special moments.
15:47 No!
15:48 Never again sipping wine with your friends.
15:51 Scratching your cat or cats.
15:53 No!
15:54 Making love to your partner.
15:55 No, no, no!
15:57 Mr. Hill only when you deal with your fear of death will you be able to overcome your fear of propane.
16:04 Stop it. Can't you hear the hissing? It's propane. This room's gonna blow.
16:08 (Groans)
16:09 Here.
16:19 What's this?
16:20 It's my scrapbook.
16:21 This is the way that rational people deal with death, Hank.
16:24 By clipping articles out about grisly accidents from the local newspapers.
16:28 It is also my hobby.
16:30 Good Lord!
16:32 What? Peggy, what?
16:34 (Groans)
16:37 (Groans)
16:38 (Groans)
16:42 Wow!
16:43 (Sighs)
16:44 They beat the Aggies, but they could not beat that train.
16:47 Y'all ever think about death?
16:55 Well, yeah, I think about it, Hank. I'm an army barber.
17:00 I get up every day and stare death in the back of the head.
17:03 I am not going to die. Chromium piccolonate.
17:07 Every orifice, every day.
17:10 Hey, Hank, let me give you a piece of advice.
17:14 You need to relax and enjoy life.
17:17 I got this story about a tiger. Knock your socks off!
17:21 Already heard that joke, Con.
17:23 (Chuckles)
17:25 Strawberry.
17:28 Have you thought about who will take care of Bobby when you're gone?
17:31 'Cause I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
17:34 I'd take him to baseball games,
17:36 and me and Peggy could sit up in bed at night, picking out colleges.
17:41 Peggy would not be included in any guardianship situation.
17:45 I'll take the boy.
17:47 The Widow Hill is on her own.
17:49 You got a deal.
17:50 All right.
17:51 Don't shake his hand. Let go of that.
17:53 I'm not saying Bobby goes to either of you.
17:56 What's going on?
17:58 I thought he was going to be okay.
18:00 Man, I tell you what, Hank, about that dang old meaning of life, man.
18:09 It's like this, man.
18:10 He's like a butterfly flapping his wings deep down in the forest, man.
18:14 It's going to cause a tree to fall, like, 5,000 miles away, man.
18:18 Ain't nobody see it, nobody don't, doesn't even happen.
18:21 You know, the baby's born into this world,
18:24 and they don't got any friends, got nothing,
18:27 but they come in to find out all about them old evil, man.
18:32 Man, see, like, you don't need to know, man.
18:35 It's like you're born into this world, man.
18:38 And you got like, it's like this, man, the dust and the wind, man,
18:41 or like the dang old candle and wind, man.
18:43 It don't matter, man. It's all old, old, these old times.
18:46 You know what I think, man, like, I think, therefore you are, man.
18:50 Well, that's what we tell ourselves, isn't it, Boomhauer?
18:54 All right, I can do this.
19:02 Nothing to be afraid of.
19:05 Hank! Hank, I can't find Bobby.
19:14 Connie says he ran away, and he's already beyond the tri-yard area.
19:19 Bobby!
19:21 Here's a fruit pie. You get Lady Bird.
19:24 Come on. Smell the pie, girl. Come on.
19:31 All right, she's locked on Bobby's scent.
19:35 Come on, girl, let's go.
19:37 Hurry, Hank!
19:40 Oh, I hope he finds Bobby before dark.
19:43 It is hard to feel sorry for that little boy.
19:46 There are whole villages in Ireland
19:48 where children are too busy sewing ruches on tennis shoes to run away.
19:53 I heard enough from you.
19:55 The more you hold in, the more you put on strange Sinead O'Connor act.
20:00 I cry river of tears for Buckley.
20:05 Why not you?
20:07 So I'm not crying for Buckley.
20:13 Big deal. He doesn't deserve it.
20:16 Hey, so for your birthday I wanted to get you those earrings you like,
20:25 but I'm kind of tapped out, so here's some CDs I don't listen to anymore.
20:29 Later, Buckley.
20:31 Buckley!
20:41 My hair!
20:43 I'm so alone.
20:48 No, you're not!
20:56 You're right, it's rain, Wattwatt.
20:59 And such a pretty young thing as well.
21:02 I don't want to look pretty anymore.
21:09 That's just rubbish.
21:11 Every girl wants to look pretty, right, Hal?
21:14 Why don't you try on that lovely wig?
21:18 Oh.
21:23 How do I look?
21:25 Oh, hmm. Let's see it off again.
21:31 [Birds chirping]
21:33 Dad, how'd you find me?
21:47 Well, I let Lady Bird sniff one of your fruit pies,
21:51 and she took me around the block a few times, and...
21:55 well, and then Mr. Krinsky called and said he saw you over here.
21:59 Oh, he was probably just looking for his mom.
22:03 Yeah, so, uh...
22:08 so I guess you're up here 'cause of the way I've been acting since the explosion.
22:13 Well, when that happened, I was afraid you were dead.
22:17 And today you were talking to your friends about dying, and I guess I freaked out.
22:23 Oh, son, you shouldn't be worrying about that stuff.
22:27 Hopefully it's a long way off.
22:29 A boy your age ought to worry about getting dates and making a team and...
22:34 you know, getting dates.
22:37 My dying should be at the bottom of the list.
22:39 You need to relax and enjoy life.
22:43 Huh.
22:45 Hey, did I ever tell you the story about the man and the tiger?
22:49 Uh-uh.
22:50 Well, uh, there was this man, and he was being chased by a ferocious tiger.
22:57 Uh, make that a lion.
23:00 A Detroit lion. Two of 'em.
23:03 And the man was Cowboy Hall of Famer Roger Staubach.
23:08 I know him. He sells life insurance on TV.
23:11 Yeah. Well, anyway, the lions were blitzing,
23:15 and Roger rolled out of the pocket, running for his life.
23:18 He headed for the side lines, but these two lions were closing in on him.
23:23 Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a strawberry.
23:28 Cup of Gatorade.
23:30 Well, Roger took a drink of that Gatorade, but I'll tell you something, son.
23:36 It was the sweetest sip of Gatorade Roger ever tasted.
23:43 Oh. I get it.
23:48 It's funny, Dad. You told it great.
23:52 I got an even better joke for you.
23:55 Uh, okay.
23:56 Two Eskimos want to buy a car together, but only one of 'em knows how to drive.
24:04 So they take a bus to the car store, and they bring their money with them.
24:11 Did I say they were trading in their dog sled?
24:14 No.
24:15 Good, 'cause that's the punchline.
24:18 So, the money melts, 'cause it's a snowball,
24:23 and they get there late, so they have to stay in a hotel.
24:29 I'm gonna leave out the bellhop part, 'cause it doesn't really go anywhere.
24:33 God, this is a good joke!
24:36 [car engine starts]
24:44 [car horn honks]
24:46 Hank, look out! It's gonna blow!
24:49 [laughter]
24:50 Very funny.
24:52 Hey, Hank, you got a light?
24:54 That's a real good one for the 15th time.
24:57 Help, honey. My arm's been blown off the propane.
25:02 Ha ha, Joe Jack.
25:04 Seriously, baby, thanks for blowing up the Megalo Mart.
25:07 I didn't blow it up!
25:10 [BLANK_AUDIO]