Time Flies (1944)
1h 28min | Comedy, Sci-Fi | 8 May 1944 (UK)
A minor music hall star uses a professor's time machine to go back to the days of Queen Elizabeth I.
Director: Walter Forde
Writers: Ted Kavanagh (original screenplay), J.O.C. Orton (original screenplay)
Stars: Tommy Handley, Evelyn Dall, George Moon
1h 28min | Comedy, Sci-Fi | 8 May 1944 (UK)
A minor music hall star uses a professor's time machine to go back to the days of Queen Elizabeth I.
Director: Walter Forde
Writers: Ted Kavanagh (original screenplay), J.O.C. Orton (original screenplay)
Stars: Tommy Handley, Evelyn Dall, George Moon
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00🎵
00:00:29🎵
00:00:44🎵 Sitting on a cloud in a silver line 🎵
00:00:47🎵 I'm feeling in a joyous frame of mind 🎵
00:00:50🎵 In a world I can't imagine 🎵
00:00:52🎵 A lovely world where dreams come true 🎵
00:00:55🎵 I'm living in a dream a whole day long 🎵
00:00:57🎵 Singing to myself a cheer of song 🎵
00:01:00🎵 A peace of mind, my cares behind 🎵
00:01:03🎵 I'm on a cloud, that silver line 🎵
00:01:06🎵 Let me tell you right away 🎵
00:01:08🎵 That's exactly how I get this way 🎵
00:01:11🎵 Why I'm happy, why I'm gay 🎵
00:01:13🎵 Here's the why 🎵
00:01:15🎵 Because today I'm sitting on a cloud 🎵
00:01:17🎵 I don't know where 🎵
00:01:19🎵 But at the silver line, I don't much care 🎵
00:01:21🎵 That's all I want to do 🎵
00:01:24🎵 But sitting on a silvery cloud 🎵
00:01:28🎵 With you 🎵
00:01:32🎵
00:01:36I guess you're ripping tonight.
00:01:38🎵
00:01:42Gee, Mrs. Barton, you've done that song for over a year and you can still put it over.
00:01:45Thanks, Chick, but glory be, it's my last night.
00:01:48Okay.
00:01:49🎵
00:01:55Bill, it's me. Open up.
00:02:00What's the idea of locking the door?
00:02:02I thought I heard voices.
00:02:03Voices?
00:02:04Oh, voices. Yes, that was me. I was going over my lines.
00:02:08On the last night of the show.
00:02:09Yes, on the last night of the show.
00:02:11Well, I did know them on the first, so I thought I might as well give them a break on the last night.
00:02:15Come on, unhook me.
00:02:17You're not going to change now.
00:02:18Are you crazy? You know I have a complete change for my last number.
00:02:23A complete change?
00:02:24Oh, a complete change.
00:02:26Come on, come on. Hurry up.
00:02:29What's the matter with you? Have you been hitting the bottle again?
00:02:37I knew there was something. Tommy Hanley.
00:02:40Now look, I can explain everything. There's no need to get nasty.
00:02:44What's that man doing here?
00:02:46Oh, that. Why, Tommy sent it to me, for old time's sake.
00:02:50Oh, he did, eh? Thank heavens that jerk is so far away he can only send things.
00:02:54It's 3,000 miles to England and he's still too near.
00:02:59What'd you say?
00:03:00Oh, must have a touch of indigestion.
00:03:02Darling, why do you have to be so tough on that Tommy?
00:03:05After all, he was our pal once.
00:03:07Yeah, once too often.
00:03:09Yes, but when he promoted that company, he really thought the man could make gasoline out of seawater.
00:03:15Bill, don't you realize every time that two-faced, two-timing weasel has come into our lives, we've had trouble?
00:03:21Every time he's talked you into investing in...
00:03:24What you doing with that screen?
00:03:25Nice, isn't it? I thought you might be feeling the draft.
00:03:28Well, I'm not. It's just the thought of that shark gives me goose pimples.
00:03:31You never know when you might feel a draft.
00:03:34What were you writing out a check for?
00:03:36Oh, that's nothing. Just the usual tips for the boys. You know, it's the last night tonight and all that.
00:03:40Wait a minute.
00:03:41To Time Ferry Service, $10,000.
00:03:45Bill Barton, what's that mean?
00:03:47I invested it.
00:03:48What? You know we were saving that money to back our own show.
00:03:52Our nest egg.
00:03:53Nest egg, nest egg. What good's an egg if it isn't hatched? Ask any hen.
00:03:57Ray, Mrs. Barton.
00:03:58Gosh, I've got to hurry.
00:04:01But you just wait.
00:04:05If I didn't know Tommy Hanley was in England, I'd think he was behind this.
00:04:11You're peeping Tom Hanley. I thought I smelt a rat.
00:04:14No, madam. Only mothballs.
00:04:16Well, soak my centipodes. It's Susie.
00:04:20If you knew Susie like I...
00:04:22Hey, hey. Please observe the common decencies.
00:04:25Come on, hand over the $10,000.
00:04:27That's a nice way to greet an old friend.
00:04:29My dear Susie, pal of my cradle days.
00:04:32Do you think a man in my position would diggle you out of your dough?
00:04:35I'm not on the bread line. Here, look at that. Solid platinum, both sides.
00:04:39Look. Coronas, solid tobacco. What do I care?
00:04:43Diamond ring, 40 carats.
00:04:45And you know what you can do with a carat these days?
00:04:47Braces, solid gold buckle. Teeth, gold and ivory.
00:04:51Look. We'll see those later.
00:04:53And you should see the swell apartment he's got on Park Avenue.
00:04:56Oh, boy. He's in the money, all right.
00:04:58He is. Our money. He cleaned us out of our life savings.
00:05:01Nothing of the kind.
00:05:02You've still got $5,000 left, and that brings me to the purpose of my visit.
00:05:06With that $5,000, I can make you both rich beyond the dreams of Avinash.
00:05:10Oh, you can.
00:05:11Where are you going? Wait a minute. He hasn't finished yet.
00:05:15You're not getting any $5,000,
00:05:17and you're not getting out of here until you give back the $10,000 you've already boned.
00:05:21Oh, but Susie...
00:05:22You keep out of this.
00:05:23Very well.
00:05:24If that's how you feel about it.
00:05:27What's this?
00:05:28Something very much better.
00:05:2910,000 shares in Time Ferry Services Limited.
00:05:32The finest investment you've ever made.
00:05:34I don't want this junk. I want my dough back.
00:05:37So, madam, you fling your future in my face.
00:05:4020,000 half-crowns in the kisser.
00:05:42And this if I don't get my money back.
00:05:44All right, all right.
00:05:45But you'll have to come and see my partner, Professor McAndrew.
00:05:48He handles the petty cash.
00:05:50Oh!
00:05:51He's a great inventor.
00:05:53The professor will explain it.
00:05:55Not to me he won't.
00:05:57I'm getting that $10,000 right here and now, or else you're gonna do time.
00:06:03Time?
00:06:04What is time?
00:06:06Having successfully controverted the classical views of Euclid and Newton,
00:06:11we arrive at the theory of relativity,
00:06:13which states that space-time in the neighborhood of a gravitational field is curved.
00:06:19Oh, pardon me.
00:06:20Whereas at an infinite distance from such a field, it is not.
00:06:24How true, how true.
00:06:26Proceed, Prof.
00:06:27Now, the curvature of space-time at any point in the continuum
00:06:30is proportional to the intensity of the gravitational field at that point.
00:06:34And consequently, as I've shown,
00:06:36there is no reason whatever why time should be of infinite duration.
00:06:42Very interesting, isn't it?
00:06:44Yeah, what's he talking about?
00:06:45He didn't say.
00:06:47But what's the payload and overhead on this very surface?
00:06:50What river are we supposed to operate on?
00:06:52The river of time, madam.
00:06:54By 30 stages through the ages.
00:06:56Time may be regarded as a river of consciousness,
00:06:59and we are travelers for a brief lifetime in a boat on that river.
00:07:03Normally, we drift with the current and travel downstream into what we call the future.
00:07:09Now, if we equip our little boat with a motor,
00:07:14we can speed our passage downstream into the future,
00:07:17or, resting the current,
00:07:19travel upstream to view again those selfsame scenes
00:07:23that were passed by humanity ages ago.
00:07:27I, Stuart McAndrew, have invented such a motor.
00:07:33With it, I mean to prove that all that has ever existed still exists,
00:07:38and all that will ever happen has already happened.
00:07:41Time. What is time?
00:07:43What I'm wasting. I want my dough back.
00:07:46But you've already spent that on the time ball.
00:07:48Yes, we've got shares in it, see?
00:07:49So that's your screwy time ball, is it?
00:07:51Is that all you've got to show for our 10,000 bucks?
00:07:54I'm going to call the cops.
00:07:5710,000 fish for that leather flapjack.
00:08:00That's not the time ball, Susie. That's the professor's lightning camera.
00:08:03It shoots as it takes and it speaks as it shows, as it were.
00:08:06We'll throw it in with your shares. You haven't seen anything yet.
00:08:08I've seen enough.
00:08:09Susie, you've got to look.
00:08:15There.
00:08:18I want my dough back.
00:08:19But you've already spent that on the time ball.
00:08:21We've got shares in it, see?
00:08:22So that's your screwy time ball, is it?
00:08:24Is that all you've got to show for our 10,000 bucks?
00:08:27I'm going to call the cops.
00:08:32That's very slick, but I didn't come here to do a screen test.
00:08:37That's the professor's time ball, Susie.
00:08:40We can make it fly back to Methuselah
00:08:42or forward to the space of things to come.
00:08:44Just think of the possibilities.
00:08:45We can build a whole fleet of them.
00:08:47There's millions in it.
00:08:49Now, here is the motive part,
00:08:52which will propel this ball through space
00:08:55and carry it into the fourth dimension,
00:08:57which is generation.
00:08:59Turn it off. I'm going goofy.
00:09:00No, you're not, Susie.
00:09:01You're just becoming dazzled by the possibilities.
00:09:03Darling, you're going to thank me for this someday.
00:09:05Yeah?
00:09:06Yes.
00:09:08Professor.
00:09:10Do you really believe you can get into that ball
00:09:12and fly it round wherever you want to go?
00:09:14Ultimately, I can do that, madam.
00:09:16Unfortunately, at present,
00:09:17I can only pilot the ball in one direction,
00:09:19into the past.
00:09:20To construct the reverse gear to bring it home
00:09:23requires, I'm afraid, more research, more capital.
00:09:26And that's where your $5,000 come in, Susie.
00:09:28I put up the cash myself.
00:09:30Never didn't want my old pals to get rich, too.
00:09:32I tell you, we can't lose.
00:09:33Well, maybe I'll give the professor the money he needs.
00:09:36Woo-hoo!
00:09:37I said maybe.
00:09:38Where do you park this time ball?
00:09:39In my workshop on the roof.
00:09:41Well, I'll see it later.
00:09:42Right now, we're going to a celebration supper
00:09:44at the cotillion club.
00:09:45Gastronomical.
00:09:46Gastronomical.
00:09:47I'll fix Bill up with it in a suit.
00:09:48Me and the prof will go ahead and book a table,
00:09:50Tommy darling.
00:09:53Did my daughter here receive me?
00:09:54Did you say darling?
00:09:56Yes, darling.
00:09:57Thank you, darling.
00:10:01It's in the bag.
00:10:02I knew she'd fall.
00:10:03Woo-hoo!
00:10:07Now look, professor,
00:10:08I don't believe all that malarkey
00:10:09about flying into the past.
00:10:12But could you send that ball
00:10:13sailing around inside a theater
00:10:14with someone sitting on it singing a song?
00:10:17Why, yes.
00:10:18If anyone would want to do so foolish a thing.
00:10:20That's all I want to know.
00:10:22We're going places.
00:10:25See you at the club, boys.
00:10:27Come on, prof.
00:10:35Oh, I haven't been to a nightclub for years.
00:10:38Don't worry, brother.
00:10:39You're not going to one now.
00:10:45Oh, boy, these are great.
00:10:47A little tight under the armpits.
00:10:48I'll look like Bob Taylor in this.
00:10:50I'll put this coat on
00:10:51and you'll look like 50 Bob Taylors.
00:10:53How about a pair of black shoes?
00:10:55Anything from a pair of clogs
00:10:56to a pair of stirrup pumps.
00:10:57Enough shoes for a centipede, partner.
00:10:59Partner?
00:11:00Gee, that sounds swell.
00:11:01We'll celebrate the occasion
00:11:02with a drink and a party.
00:11:03A drink and a party?
00:11:04A drink and a party?
00:11:05A drink and a party?
00:11:06A drink and a party?
00:11:07A drink and a party?
00:11:08A drink and a party?
00:11:09A drink and a party?
00:11:10A drink and a party?
00:11:11A drink and a party?
00:11:12A drink and a party?
00:11:13Gee, that sounds swell.
00:11:14We'll celebrate our first board meeting, eh?
00:11:16I'll just go and open another bottle of bubbly
00:11:17for two lucky lads.
00:11:18I'll be right out, partner.
00:11:21I did it!
00:11:42Why, Mr. South America,
00:11:43I thought you were in Hamilton.
00:11:45I mean, Mr. Hamilton,
00:11:46I thought you were in South America.
00:11:48What are you doing with my champagne?
00:11:49Hey, I... I was just going to launch a battleship, only somebody's stolen it.
00:11:53And those bottles over there?
00:11:54Oh, oh yes, yes.
00:11:56Well, since you asked, one or two friends of mine just happened to drop in to see if you had a drop in, see?
00:12:03Who the heck gave you permission to entertain?
00:12:06Say, that's my tuxedo.
00:12:07Well, you told me to wear it.
00:12:08I said air it, not wear it.
00:12:10Take it off.
00:12:11And the pants.
00:12:12Sir, you're not going to spank me.
00:12:13I'm gonna fire you.
00:12:14Do you think I'd stand for my valet walking around in my clothes?
00:12:17You champagne-swizzling scoundrel.
00:12:20Say, my watch.
00:12:24Here, my platinum cigar case.
00:12:26And my diamond ring.
00:12:28You crook.
00:12:34Paul Porter, get the police up here, make it snappy.
00:12:37What else have you got?
00:12:38Come on, turn out your pockets or I'll plug you.
00:12:41What's the matter, you gone nuts or something?
00:12:42Get your head and go, quick.
00:12:44What's this all about?
00:12:45I'll tell you all right away.
00:12:48Come on.
00:12:48Take it easy, Tom.
00:12:49You're safe now.
00:12:50There's no need to run away.
00:12:52Here, Sergeant.
00:12:52Hi.
00:12:53Hey, stop those two fellas.
00:12:55They're trying to murder me.
00:12:56What?
00:12:57Yeah.
00:13:00Phew.
00:13:01This is just like old times.
00:13:02Yes, but what are we running away from the cops for?
00:13:04To save you from a fate worse than death.
00:13:06You're in awful trouble, Bill.
00:13:07I'm in trouble?
00:13:08Yes.
00:13:09That guy you conked on the beam was the owner of the flat.
00:13:11My boss, Theodore Hamilton.
00:13:13Your boss?
00:13:14And that was his jewelry?
00:13:16Yeah.
00:13:17I'll bet you're even wearing his clothes.
00:13:18You are, too.
00:13:19What?
00:13:20Come on.
00:13:25Oh, they're after us.
00:13:26What do we do?
00:13:26What do we do?
00:13:27Didn't your mother ever tell you anything?
00:13:28Get in here.
00:13:35This belong to your boss, too?
00:13:37It did till I moved the professor in.
00:13:40Tom!
00:13:42That's our time ball, isn't it?
00:13:44Come on, open up there.
00:13:45Come on, open it up.
00:13:47Yes, this is just the time we need.
00:13:49Come on.
00:13:51Come on, take the door down.
00:13:52Come on, boys.
00:14:01Holy mackerel, what's that thing?
00:14:03Well, whatever it is, take a look behind it.
00:14:05And you see, the forces set up by those barrels alters the vibration of the atoms, enabling
00:14:20the ball to pass through any solid substance.
00:14:23Yeah, but will it pass round the theater?
00:14:25Round it or through it, ma'am.
00:14:28You're not going to start anything.
00:14:30Don't be alarmed.
00:14:32This switch controls the repulsion drive.
00:14:35Which would reverse the force of gravity and send us flying off into space.
00:14:40But, of course, it doesn't function.
00:14:43So long as the exit hatch is down below.
00:14:46Don't tell me.
00:14:47You've started something.
00:14:48But, ma'am, certainly that hatch will open.
00:15:06Well, now, what do you make of that, Bertie?
00:15:08We've just seen something that wasn't there at all.
00:15:11Can I put that in my report, sergeant?
00:15:12You will not.
00:15:13You saw nothing, you heard nothing, you report nothing.
00:15:16Do you get me?
00:15:17Yes, sir.
00:15:18Thank you, sergeant.
00:15:25I think they've gone.
00:15:26Good.
00:15:26We'll lie low a bit longer.
00:15:27Yeah, it's a good idea.
00:15:28I think they've gone.
00:15:29Good.
00:15:30We'll lie low a bit longer.
00:15:31Yeah, it's a good idea.
00:15:34Tommy.
00:15:35Yes?
00:15:36What are you sitting on?
00:15:38What I've always sat on. Why?
00:15:40Well, I'll go tobogganing.
00:15:42Hey!
00:15:57Hiya, Susie.
00:15:58Hiya, Susie.
00:15:58What? You too?
00:15:59Tommy told me if I stood by him, I'd go up in the world.
00:16:04This will set up a localized field of gravitational force.
00:16:10Oh, well, that was nice while it lasted.
00:16:12When will I tell Ripley about this?
00:16:14But I can't understand how it happened.
00:16:16If anything's wrong, blame Hanley.
00:16:18Mr. Hanley, you didn't by any chance close the exit hatch?
00:16:22I believe I did.
00:16:23There was a nasty draft blowing around my parabola.
00:16:25I don't think you quite realize the consequences of your action.
00:16:28Well, I didn't mean any harm.
00:16:29Mother always told me to keep the trap shut.
00:16:31Well, Professor, thanks for the demonstration.
00:16:33You've got something here, and you can keep it.
00:16:35I'm going home.
00:16:36I'm afraid that's quite impossible, madam.
00:16:38Our journey's already started.
00:16:41What journey?
00:16:43Say, look here.
00:16:46What's the moon doing way down there?
00:16:48That's not the moon, madam.
00:16:50That's the Earth we've just left.
00:16:52Don't give me that stuff.
00:16:55Oh!
00:16:57Look, Susie.
00:16:58North and South America.
00:17:00It's a small world, I always say.
00:17:02And the Far East.
00:17:03And Maywest.
00:17:08There.
00:17:09We're now exactly 475,000 miles above the Earth.
00:17:15Fuel rush!
00:17:16Gee, hope we're not heading for the hot place.
00:17:19No, that's only one of the smaller comets.
00:17:22An astronomical phenomenon with which we shall make occasional contact.
00:17:25Not with me aboard.
00:17:26Turn this thing round, Professor.
00:17:28That's exactly what I'm about to do, madam.
00:17:38There we are.
00:17:39Poised in space exactly one million miles above the Earth.
00:17:45Blimey!
00:17:46I've just remembered.
00:17:47What?
00:17:48I've left the rice pudding in the oven.
00:17:49Now for our return to Terra Firma.
00:17:52Nothing doing.
00:17:53You're taking us back to New York.
00:17:56We are going back to Earth, madam.
00:17:58And back into a labyrinth of recorded time.
00:18:03At first gradually, and then more rapidly,
00:18:07we shall annihilate space and obliterate the intervening years.
00:18:12As we shall probably return to a period several centuries before we were born,
00:18:16it will be necessary for each of us to take one of these age-rectifying tablets.
00:18:22Otherwise, who knows what might not happen.
00:18:31By the great shopper!
00:18:32It has happened!
00:18:34Take one of these.
00:18:36You'll be all right.
00:18:37That's right.
00:18:40And one for you, too.
00:18:41Yes, yes, yes.
00:18:42It'll be all right in a moment.
00:18:45Pardon me.
00:18:47I should...
00:18:48That's funny.
00:18:49A minute ago I was wearing a pair of three-corner trousers.
00:18:52Gee.
00:18:53Hope I haven't swallowed my dummy.
00:18:55Oh, be your age.
00:18:56Both of you.
00:18:57Now, with each tick of the meter, we are going back 25 years.
00:19:01Now, America's just fighting her great civil war.
00:19:04And now it's gone with the wind.
00:19:05George Washington's just been elected First President of the United States.
00:19:08Why?
00:19:09Wasn't Roosevelt running that year?
00:19:11Louis XIV's just dead.
00:19:13He said they never knew he was ill.
00:19:14I'll crown him with a comet.
00:19:15Now, he's just being born.
00:19:16Now, the stork's asking him if his journey's really necessary.
00:19:18It's imperative that we should decide exactly at what period of history we wish to arrive.
00:19:23Well, drop me down alongside Madam Jew Barry.
00:19:25Now, look, Professor.
00:19:27Thanks for the bunny ride.
00:19:28It's been swell.
00:19:29But there's only one place we're going, and that's home.
00:19:37Stop the elevator.
00:19:38This is giving me the willies.
00:19:39So now, Susie, you're rocking the boat.
00:19:42Take my seat, Madam.
00:19:43I never felt better in my life.
00:19:46Who pushed me?
00:20:11Susie!
00:20:42Excellent!
00:20:44We've landed safely.
00:21:06Are we in heaven?
00:21:08We can't be.
00:21:10We can't be.
00:21:12I'm always the same after a bottle of peas for breakfast.
00:21:14Oh, Susie.
00:21:16I had such a lovely dream.
00:21:19Here, now, Kit.
00:21:21Where are we, Professor?
00:21:23Well, in terms of topographical exactitude, our present position is still obscure.
00:21:28But undoubtedly, we've returned to Earth.
00:21:30Well, that's something.
00:21:31But owing to your precipitate action...
00:21:33Will you quash the calculus?
00:21:34It's impossible to say in which continent or on what precise period of history we've returned.
00:21:39Well, it's still snowing, Professor.
00:21:41We haven't come far.
00:21:42We're in Central Park or someplace.
00:21:44Hey, where are you going?
00:21:45To take the readings of the instruments below.
00:21:48I'm a very happy man.
00:21:50He's happy.
00:21:51I've had enough of this screwball.
00:21:53I'm going home.
00:21:55What again?
00:21:57Visibility's very limited.
00:21:59But my instruments record that the air outside is breathable.
00:22:02And the temperature's only 11 degrees below zero.
00:22:05That makes everything just honky-donk.
00:22:08How do I get out of this rat-trap?
00:22:09Oh, but you mustn't venture forth.
00:22:11Who knows?
00:22:12Primitive man may be homing in search of prey.
00:22:14He always does in Central Park.
00:22:16I'm grabbing a taxi.
00:22:17Now, listen, darling.
00:22:18We've got to trust the Professor.
00:22:19What he says goes.
00:22:21Whatever he says, I'm as good as gone.
00:22:25Oh.
00:22:26Oh.
00:22:27Shall I go and find the lie of the land?
00:22:29Let Tommy go.
00:22:30He'll find the lie anywhere.
00:22:31What?
00:22:32You got your blades on me, Chassie?
00:22:33No fear.
00:22:34No.
00:22:35Since I brought you to this island...
00:22:36Oh, since I brought you to this desolate spot,
00:22:38I feel it my duty to make the preliminary exploration.
00:22:41Good old Professor.
00:22:42I'll lend you me coat.
00:22:43Nothing doing.
00:22:44He's got our return tickets.
00:22:45Go on.
00:22:46Out you go.
00:22:47And don't come back without a taxi.
00:22:48But, uh, we can't be waiting till the parkkeeper passes by.
00:22:50Oh, push off.
00:22:54And make it your business to get us out of this jam.
00:23:03Taxi!
00:23:04Taxi!
00:23:06Taxi!
00:23:15Yes, the mist is clearing at last.
00:23:17Come and look.
00:23:21I can see a great castle with a city beyond it.
00:23:23Can you see a factory?
00:23:29There's nothing there, Prof.
00:23:31He's seen things now.
00:23:33But there it is again.
00:23:36It's the Tower of London.
00:23:38And there are flags flying from the battlements.
00:23:40The Cross of St. George.
00:23:42I was right.
00:23:44We are definitely in 16th century England.
00:23:48Before the Stuarts ascended the throne.
00:23:50But just what year of the 16th century?
00:23:53That we have to find out.
00:23:55Hey, Professor, hadn't you better stick around with us?
00:23:57But the year, ma'am.
00:23:59The year.
00:24:00I must know the year.
00:24:02Otherwise I can't calibrate my instrument.
00:24:05There he goes.
00:24:06Crazy as a coot.
00:24:08Hey, Susan.
00:24:09Look, this history book might come in handy.
00:24:11For what?
00:24:12For what?
00:24:13Well, we want to find out what was going on around here during the 16th century.
00:24:16So you've gone screwy too.
00:24:18Well, the professor's in a snowdrift by now.
00:24:20Come on, St. Bernard.
00:24:30I smell rum.
00:24:32Ah, a roadhouse.
00:24:34About time I had my breakfast.
00:24:44Who's there?
00:24:45Who knocks?
00:24:47Me.
00:24:48Bring me some food and wine.
00:24:49But don't bother about the food.
00:24:51Be gone, Violet.
00:24:55What did he call me?
00:24:56Violet?
00:24:58But with his fur coat.
00:25:00Hey!
00:25:01You can cancel that breakfast.
00:25:03How far is New York?
00:25:05Where can I get a taxi around here?
00:25:07What's the matter with you, sloppy-looking twerp?
00:25:09Take that sock off your head.
00:25:11Come down.
00:25:13Well, I messed up my musk wash.
00:25:15What a common publican.
00:25:17You should knock on the door.
00:25:19What's the matter with you?
00:25:21What's the matter with you?
00:25:23What's the matter with you?
00:25:25What's the matter with you?
00:25:27What's the matter with you?
00:25:30Six o'clock on a fine morning and all's well.
00:25:34There was a shower around here a minute ago.
00:25:36Six o'clock on a fine morning and all's well.
00:25:40Hey, buddy.
00:25:41How would you like to earn half a dollar?
00:25:43Six o'clock on a fine morning and all's well.
00:25:47Yes, I know that.
00:25:48But how far is the nearest railway station?
00:25:50Six o'clock on a fine morning and all's well.
00:25:56Excuse me.
00:26:00This must be Looney Park.
00:26:07Blimey! Spam eaters.
00:26:11I get it. They're making pictures.
00:26:13We've landed in Hollywood.
00:26:15Excuse me.
00:26:17Easy.
00:26:19Bonjour, Director. Cecil B. DeMille.
00:26:21I know him not.
00:26:23That's Hollywood all over.
00:26:24DeMille today, the breadline tomorrow.
00:26:26His speech is strange.
00:26:28The tower outlandish.
00:26:29He thinks he is a spy.
00:26:31Seize him!
00:26:32Here, here, here. Where are we going?
00:26:33What's all this?
00:26:34Where are you taking me to?
00:26:36To the tower.
00:26:37Tower? What tower?
00:26:38The Tower of London.
00:26:39London, England?
00:26:41Where else?
00:26:42Well, I'll pin a platinum plaque on the professor's paraphernalia.
00:26:45I've promoted an invention that works.
00:26:47Turn about!
00:26:48Mark!
00:26:58Oh, you've never seen a fountain pen before, eh?
00:27:00No knives.
00:27:02No forks.
00:27:04No pens.
00:27:06This is virgin soil, this is.
00:27:08I'll have to throw the fleet a new company.
00:27:10Stop taking liberties.
00:27:16You're worse than the dead end, kid.
00:27:18You've dirtied all your dicky.
00:27:20And poop!
00:27:24Good motto.
00:27:27Good motto, good sir.
00:27:28How are you, cop? Take a few.
00:27:30Nice bird, this.
00:27:31Some chicken, some neck, dry nibble.
00:27:33Stand, Violet!
00:27:35Don't keep calling me Violet.
00:27:37You address Captain Walter Raleigh of the Queen's Guard.
00:27:41Dismiss them.
00:27:42Easy.
00:27:44So you're really Raleigh.
00:27:46Well, if you're the old Raleigh they speak up so highly.
00:27:48God blimey, old Raleigh, you are looking well.
00:27:51You know, for one moment I thought you were Sir Walter Raleigh.
00:27:54I am only Captain Raleigh.
00:27:57The Queen has not seen fit to knight me.
00:27:59The Queen?
00:28:00Ah, that's Queen...
00:28:02Knowest thou not that the glorious Elizabeth rules this England?
00:28:05Of course, the Virgin Queen.
00:28:07They tell me that as a Queen she's very successful.
00:28:09Thy speech and guard mark me as one from foreign shores.
00:28:13Whence comest thou?
00:28:14Why, stranger, I come from a mighty fine country.
00:28:17The United States of America.
00:28:19Mighty fine.
00:28:20America?
00:28:22Well, now we're introduced, I suppose I can have my things back.
00:28:25I have heard of that far land.
00:28:27The natives are savage and kill with the tommy hawk.
00:28:29They call them tommy guns now.
00:28:31Gold, silver, diamonds.
00:28:33Didst thou have to dig deep for them?
00:28:35No, just lifted them from the suckers.
00:28:37The suckers? A native tribe?
00:28:39There's one born every minute.
00:28:41What's the time now?
00:28:42What would I not give to go to thy country?
00:28:45That's a boy, Wally.
00:28:46So you shall.
00:28:47I'll fix you up with a lecture tour.
00:28:49What a time you'll have with the gals.
00:28:51The gals? Another native tribe like the suckers?
00:28:53Yeah, they've got what it takes.
00:28:55And, oh boy, can they take it from the suckers.
00:28:57Thy speech is indeed strange.
00:28:59But I'm resolved to see thy land.
00:29:01First to seek the Queen's leave and then a ship.
00:29:03Well, if it's a ship you want, how about mine?
00:29:05The good old timeboard.
00:29:07Fifty golden guineas, cash down, of course,
00:29:09will pay your passage all the way.
00:29:11Agreed.
00:29:13I'll set the plan afoot.
00:29:15And don't forget to call in at the bank.
00:29:17Garçon.
00:29:24Come and look.
00:29:25This must be London.
00:29:27It's cuckoo.
00:29:29Where's the balloon barrage?
00:29:30I'm afraid you'll have to wait 300 years for that, ma'am.
00:29:33Darling, isn't it wonderful?
00:29:34We're really in the 16th century.
00:29:36Look, Bill, if I hear any more of that 16th century,
00:29:38hoo-yah.
00:29:39Wait a minute.
00:29:41But that church, that big church,
00:29:42that's St. Paul's Cathedral.
00:29:44Just like the one in the book.
00:29:45Look.
00:29:47Don't be a dope.
00:29:48St. Paul's has a dome on it.
00:29:50Well, it's got a dome on it now, of course.
00:29:52Now?
00:29:53Bill, it's time you had a meal.
00:29:55But your husband's quite right, ma'am.
00:29:56That old St. Paul's Cathedral that was burnt down in 1666.
00:30:00Burnt down in 1666.
00:30:04Burnt in 1666.
00:30:07Pardon, gracious sirs, and you, mistress,
00:30:10but I have a bad fever in me, eh?
00:30:12Well, how do you like that?
00:30:14Here's the guy that wrote I ain't got no body.
00:30:18Here's the rest of them.
00:30:20But he's in a pillory that's most interesting.
00:30:23Yes, placed in a pillory by that she-devil Queen Elizabeth.
00:30:28May God bless and protect her gracious majesty.
00:30:31Did you hear that?
00:30:32Who's screwing now?
00:30:34If this is a dream, I wish someone would pinch me.
00:30:37I will.
00:30:38What are you in for, Pop?
00:30:40Saying the same words thou thyself just uttered.
00:30:43To us?
00:30:44Yes.
00:30:45I, too, prophesy that St. Paul's would burn
00:30:48burn with London town in 1666.
00:30:52Burnt down in 1666.
00:30:55Burnt down in 1666.
00:30:57I did prophesy the truth.
00:30:59Shut down, Pop.
00:31:00We're in enough trouble already.
00:31:02Stop thy clack with this, old fool,
00:31:04or thou'll hang another week in the pillory,
00:31:06you and your prophecies.
00:31:08One of these days, it'll cost you your toothless old head.
00:31:11Fine, master.
00:31:13Tell this ungrateful whelp my sisters fawned,
00:31:16Is it true that our good Queen Bess will die unwed?
00:31:19Certainly.
00:31:20The Stuarts will succeed her.
00:31:23Dare witness all.
00:31:24I did prophesy the truth.
00:31:26Is it just that I should rot up here whilst they go free?
00:31:30Ho, they're gone.
00:31:32Ho, they're gone.
00:31:33Seize them.
00:31:34Seize them.
00:31:35Seize them.
00:31:36Seize them.
00:31:37Seize them.
00:31:38Seize them.
00:31:39Seize them.
00:31:40Seize them.
00:31:41Seize them.
00:31:42Seize them.
00:31:43Seize them.
00:31:44Seize them.
00:31:46Ha, ha, ha.
00:31:47Here, see, there's your man.
00:31:49Seize him.
00:31:50He did declare our good Queen Bess would die unwed.
00:31:53And so she will.
00:31:54The Stuart James will follow her.
00:31:56Markie, sergeant, Markie.
00:31:58So a Stuart will rule this England, eh?
00:32:00That is so.
00:32:01Whence do you come and how are you called?
00:32:04I shall be born in 1880,
00:32:07and my name is Stuart MacAndrew.
00:32:10So thou art a Stuart, eh?
00:32:11A royal Stuart on my mother's side.
00:32:13Thy head will roll for this.
00:32:15Seize him.
00:32:16Not my head, but his arms.
00:32:18His head will roll.
00:32:21His head will roll.
00:32:23His head will roll.
00:32:24His head will roll.
00:32:25His head will roll and roll and roll.
00:32:33Come on, Oscar.
00:32:35Come on.
00:32:36Soldiers, come on.
00:32:38Come on.
00:32:40I never knew I had so many fans.
00:32:42Look out.
00:32:43They don't get your autograph.
00:32:50I sound like hounds baying for meat.
00:32:52My meat.
00:32:53I'm all in.
00:32:54Come back.
00:32:55Come back here.
00:32:56Come back.
00:32:57Come back.
00:32:58Come back here.
00:33:11Oh, clones.
00:33:14Hey, this looks kind of cute.
00:33:16Say, that's a good idea.
00:33:17If we dress up the same as them,
00:33:18maybe we'll be able to find Tommy.
00:33:20Aren't we in enough trouble?
00:33:22Look, there's only one person in London we've got to find,
00:33:25and that's the professor.
00:33:26Aha, so we are in London, are we?
00:33:28Yeah, any dope can see that.
00:33:30But I'm still expecting to wake up any minute.
00:33:32Hey, look.
00:33:33Utility pants.
00:33:34No turn-ups.
00:33:36I'll leave it once more.
00:33:38Come seven.
00:33:39Come eleven.
00:33:40And seven it is, too.
00:33:42Well, I'll take it this time in case it gets knocked off.
00:33:45Let's do it.
00:33:46We have the luck of the devil.
00:33:47Look at my last growth.
00:33:48What knavery is this?
00:33:49You should always win.
00:33:51A little knavery brings home the gravery.
00:33:53What, no more dough?
00:33:55Well, I tell you what.
00:33:56Put down your hose, and I'll double it.
00:33:58No!
00:33:59Metaphysically speaking,
00:34:00the whole of matter can be put in a nutshell.
00:34:02Tyrants, take off!
00:34:04No, no, no.
00:34:05Take him to the dungeons and see his god is well.
00:34:07Aye, Captain.
00:34:08We'll wait.
00:34:10Forward!
00:34:11I can explain the big matter perfectly clear.
00:34:16Be easy.
00:34:18What manner of ship brought thee to these shores?
00:34:22Did I mention it?
00:34:24The good ship Timeball, was it not?
00:34:26A name such as that, he mentioned.
00:34:28What, Yontwerp?
00:34:29A twerp.
00:34:31He did say he was a steward.
00:34:33What did he do?
00:34:34A villainous Scottish spy that spake treason against the Queen.
00:34:37But he shall pay.
00:34:39How much?
00:34:40With his life.
00:34:41He will be drawn and quartered.
00:34:43Are you going to raffle him?
00:34:46What manner of ship brought thee here, Master Handley?
00:34:49Oh, one that floats.
00:34:50You know, with a sharp end in front and a broad end behind and funnels.
00:34:53No, no funnels.
00:34:54Railings all round, you know.
00:34:56Then here's my passage on her.
00:34:58Aha, now you're talking.
00:35:00Did the Queen say you could come?
00:35:01Not yet.
00:35:02But thy great riches from the Americas will interest her vastly.
00:35:05Perchance, with thy help, it may be done.
00:35:07It shall be done.
00:35:08She'll be tickled to death when I pour my kale into her ear.
00:35:11Pretty snappy, huh?
00:35:13Oh, in case they throw things, I'm going in for this tin-tube thing.
00:35:17Hey, do you know where we are?
00:35:19No.
00:35:20It's a theatre.
00:35:21They've been doing Shakespeare's loves, labours, lofts.
00:35:23I bet business was lousy.
00:35:24How do I look?
00:35:27Like a kipper in an iron lung.
00:35:29Gosh, what I could do to a kipper now.
00:35:32I'm going to have a look around.
00:35:35All right, I'll be with you as soon as I fix up this second front.
00:35:39Now, old desire doth in his deathbed lie,
00:35:42And young affection gates to his air.
00:35:45That fair for which love groan'd for, and would die,
00:35:49With tender Juliet matched, is now not fair.
00:35:54Now Romeo is beloved, and loves again.
00:36:01He laughs at wounds who never...
00:36:08Oh, curse the crumbs.
00:36:10He jests at crumbs?
00:36:12Oh, no, no, no.
00:36:14He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
00:36:18Perfection itself.
00:36:22Who spoke?
00:36:25What thou?
00:36:26What's in a name?
00:36:28That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
00:36:31But another perfect line.
00:36:34It's not one of Francis Bacon's, is it?
00:36:36Oh, no, no, no.
00:36:38Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
00:36:42Aren't you missing your cue?
00:36:44You're supposed to climb the ladder.
00:36:46Yes, of course, that's what Romeo would do.
00:36:52Easy to see you've never played this scene before.
00:36:55Why, it is only now I write it.
00:36:57Well, you've got a rotten memory.
00:36:59Isn't this in your way?
00:37:01I'll prompt you if you go wrong.
00:37:03With love's like wings did I o'er-perch these walls.
00:37:06For stony limits cannot hold love out.
00:37:08And...
00:37:09And what love can do that dare not love attend.
00:37:13Hey, Susie, what's cooking?
00:37:21Oh, Romeo, my love.
00:37:23It is my soul that calls upon my name.
00:37:26How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night.
00:37:28Like softest music to attending ears.
00:37:31Hey, what's going on up here?
00:37:33Ah.
00:37:36Ah, it is such sweet sorrow.
00:37:38That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
00:37:41How thou dost inspire me.
00:37:43Will Shakespeare thanks thee?
00:37:45Don't mention it.
00:37:48Gosh.
00:37:50Oh, let your lil' bellow come to the blow.
00:38:02It is a lovely day of yore.
00:38:06Ring, ring, merry bell.
00:38:09Ring, ring, merry bell.
00:38:12A merry welcome and a wonderful play.
00:38:17Oh, ring, ring, merry bell.
00:38:20Ring, ring, merry bell.
00:38:23In a merry, merry, merry way.
00:38:36Hey there, bellman.
00:38:39Get into your steeple.
00:38:41It's time for woolpy now that May time is here.
00:38:45Hey there, bellman.
00:38:48Inform the people.
00:38:50Fill them a plateful.
00:38:52They'll be crazy to hear.
00:38:54Ring-a-long, ding-a-long bell.
00:38:57Ring-a-long, swing-a-long bell.
00:38:59Jingle a welcome to the month of May.
00:39:03Ring-a-long, ding-a-long bell.
00:39:06Ring-a-long, swing-a-long bell.
00:39:08Turn on a merry, merry round away.
00:39:15Hey there, bellman.
00:39:18Inform the people.
00:39:21Fill them a plateful.
00:39:24They'll be crazy to hear.
00:39:27Ring-a-long, ding-a-long bell.
00:39:30Ring-a-long, swing-a-long bell.
00:39:33Jingle a welcome to the month of May.
00:39:37Hey there, bellman.
00:39:40Inform the people.
00:39:43Inform the people.
00:39:45Fill them a plateful.
00:39:47They'll be crazy to hear.
00:39:49Ring-a-long, ding-a-long bell.
00:39:52Ring-a-long, swing-a-long bell.
00:39:54Jingle a welcome to the month of May.
00:39:58Ring-a-long, ding-a-long bell.
00:40:01Ring-a-long, swing-a-long bell.
00:40:03Turn on a merry, merry round away.
00:40:08A merry round away.
00:40:30Halt!
00:40:31How about a quicken, Wally?
00:40:33Two doubles and a bottle of ginger pop for the boy scouts.
00:40:35But the Queen awaits us, Master Tommy.
00:40:37We must not tarry.
00:40:38That's the second time I've passed this pub today.
00:40:40If I pass it again, I shall pass out.
00:40:41Come on, let's go.
00:40:42Oh, God, I claim justice.
00:40:44Ah, Captain Rowley, you are well met.
00:40:46Here are two that eat their fill and cheat their reckoning.
00:40:48But we gave them a whole hatful of money.
00:40:50But lacking two groats.
00:40:52Tommy!
00:40:53Susie and Bill, I see you found a second-hand clothes shop.
00:40:56Here be thy dough.
00:40:58Be gone, and try no funny business with ye change.
00:41:00Many thanks, kind sir.
00:41:02Are these friends of thine, Master Henley?
00:41:04Oh, just two of the common people.
00:41:06It's a pleasure to pay their debts with your passage money.
00:41:08Susie, meet Wally.
00:41:09Wally, meet Susie and Bill.
00:41:11Madam.
00:41:12Two Native Americans.
00:41:13Well, what say we all wet ye whistle within?
00:41:15Yay, you said it.
00:41:16Come, chum.
00:41:25Voila.
00:41:26Delete.
00:41:29Native Americans.
00:41:30Then these are two of the suckers thou didst tell me of.
00:41:33Did he tell you that?
00:41:34Certainly not.
00:41:35I was merely using some of your quaint sayings.
00:41:37Just a psychological lock on the ditty.
00:41:39Nobody's ever called me a sucker, let's tell the tale.
00:41:41Ah, then perchance she is one of the gals.
00:41:44I'll say she is.
00:41:46Master Henley did tell me how he tamed thee.
00:41:48Oh, did he?
00:41:49And did he tell you he'd skin me too?
00:41:51I wouldn't be so anatomical.
00:41:53Colonel.
00:41:55Get me four highballs, please.
00:41:56Wine for the guests, landlord.
00:41:58And something to drink, and a packet of crisps.
00:42:00Have a cigar, Bill.
00:42:01Ah, thanks, Tommy.
00:42:02And you, Walt.
00:42:04Is it to eat?
00:42:06It's tobacco. You smoke it.
00:42:08Go on, take one.
00:42:10That's right.
00:42:12Now go on, bite the end off.
00:42:15Look out, Tommy. He thinks it's a hot dog.
00:42:17Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:42:19Just in the nicotine.
00:42:21Get a life, Bill.
00:42:22Now go on, put it back in your mouth again.
00:42:24Go on.
00:42:25Now, suck your breath in.
00:42:27He's found another sucker.
00:42:35Lookie, he burns.
00:42:43Halt!
00:42:44If he were not in his cuffs, I'd run him through.
00:42:46Come with me, sweet captain, and dry your skin.
00:42:49Drunken!
00:42:52Listen, Tosspot.
00:42:53How dare you bottle my best friend in bitter?
00:42:55Don't you know it's a crime to waste wallop in wartime?
00:42:57Take it easy, Tommy. This looks like a carver.
00:42:59Yes, and I'm the carver-upper.
00:43:00Give me your sword, Bill.
00:43:01I'll cut this cur's communication.
00:43:04I am thy man, Captain John Smith, the Scourge of the Seven Seas.
00:43:08But I was only going to cut a bit of crackling.
00:43:11Did you do that on purpose?
00:43:13I'll teach you to threaten a man who sings the King of Spain's whispers.
00:43:16What a common barber.
00:43:17Funga!
00:43:19I conquer America.
00:43:22I lay claim to all the rich lands beyond the Seven Seas.
00:43:26How about the Seven Dials?
00:43:28Cease thy lie.
00:43:30Answer me!
00:43:33Or else.
00:43:34All right, I see your point.
00:43:42More land! More land!
00:43:45If you hadn't given me this dummy sword, I'd have mowed him down.
00:43:48What right has that twerp to claim America?
00:43:50He's pinched my bitch.
00:43:51He's the guy that discovered Virginia.
00:43:53Doing what?
00:43:54I don't know what you mean.
00:43:55The state of Virginia.
00:43:56Now, further disclosures will follow next week.
00:43:58Okay, and the comic crosstalk.
00:44:00Who's this guy Wally you came in with?
00:44:01Oh, Wally?
00:44:02That's Captain Walter Raleigh, head guy of the tower.
00:44:04Oh, boy, we are meeting people.
00:44:06That'll be Sir Walter Raleigh.
00:44:07It says in here that he's the fellow that put his cloak down in the mud so the Queen wouldn't dunk her shoes.
00:44:12So she made him a knight.
00:44:13You made him a knight for that?
00:44:14Give me a fortnight here and she'll make me a weekend.
00:44:16Fortnight nothing.
00:44:17You're going to locate the professor.
00:44:19Uh-huh.
00:44:20Come clean.
00:44:21You've seen the professor.
00:44:22Well, I'm afraid I was one of the last to see him.
00:44:24Wally says they're going to do him in.
00:44:26Eh?
00:44:27Oh, but what for?
00:44:28For being a Scottish spy or something.
00:44:29Poor old professor.
00:44:30Nice fellow, Wally lasted.
00:44:31But, but without him we can't get home.
00:44:34Hmm, pity.
00:44:35Captain Raleigh waits to take me to the court.
00:44:38And am I glad to be awaited.
00:44:39Ta-da, Susie.
00:44:40You're not going to any court.
00:44:41You're going to work on Raleigh to get the professor out of Hark.
00:44:44But without the Queen's pardon we can't get him out.
00:44:46That's why I'm going to court.
00:44:47Tom is right, Susie.
00:44:48It's a case of any court in a storm.
00:44:50You can stand on me.
00:44:51Get that pardon or I will with both feet.
00:44:53Ta-da for now.
00:44:54See you in jail.
00:44:56Something tells me he wasn't kidding when he made that crack.
00:45:11Oh!
00:45:13Sir, the boat!
00:45:20Which one's the Queen, Wally?
00:45:21These are ladies-in-waiting, Master Tommy.
00:45:23I won't keep them waiting long.
00:45:25Hello, gorgeous.
00:45:26What's cooking?
00:45:27I'm not the cook, sir.
00:45:28Perhaps not.
00:45:29But a very nice boiling piece, nevertheless.
00:45:32I like you.
00:45:33Coming along with me?
00:45:43Oh, go and stuff a trumpet up your trumpet.
00:45:48Hello, somebody dropped something.
00:45:50The Queen.
00:45:51The Queen.
00:45:52The Queen.
00:45:54Party halt!
00:45:56Right turn!
00:46:09Okay, Wally.
00:46:10I've two thoughts ahead of you.
00:46:12Step on it, madam.
00:46:18That's a good girl.
00:46:23Your sword, Captain Raleigh.
00:46:25But he left with a cloak.
00:46:26I'll send it to the cleaners.
00:46:29Kneel.
00:46:30But, uh...
00:46:32Thy name, sir?
00:46:33Uh, Tommy Handley, ma'am.
00:46:36Arise.
00:46:37Sir Tommy Handley.
00:46:39What, you mean you're making me a Knight of the Garter?
00:46:41Not the Garter.
00:46:42It is too soon, Sir Tommy, to look so high.
00:46:45Oh, honestly, I wasn't looking.
00:46:47Captain Raleigh tells us thou dost hail from the Americas.
00:46:50It is as another world to us.
00:46:52Yes, and for a paltry half million, you can become the big best of America.
00:46:55Thou dost hail from the Americas?
00:46:57All the stars and most of the stripes.
00:46:59Come then, Sir Tommy.
00:47:00Thou dost interest us.
00:47:03Going, gone.
00:47:04Sold for a thousand guineas to the Earl of Jersey.
00:47:08There you are, Jersey.
00:47:10Stick that up your jumper.
00:47:11I'll call it New Jersey after you.
00:47:13Now, who's next?
00:47:14Terms strictly cash, by the way.
00:47:16Don't forget, my motto is, here today, death tomorrow.
00:47:18Now, this next lot is the sweetest slice of the whole cake.
00:47:21We might call it New York, but I prefer Manhattan.
00:47:25It's my biggest gold mine.
00:47:27Now, don't go away, folks, don't go away.
00:47:29Before you dig deep with your doublets, let me show you one or two stars.
00:47:34It gives me a start, too, when it works.
00:47:36And here are one or two other trifles freshly dug from deep in the heart of Texas.
00:47:39I mean, Manhattan.
00:47:42These are gifts for me, Sir Tommy.
00:47:45Well, strictly lease and lend, you understand.
00:47:48Gold.
00:47:51Rich yellow gold.
00:47:55This Manhattan territory is mine.
00:47:59Sold.
00:48:00Shall we put it down at 500 guineas?
00:48:01Your reward shall be greater than that.
00:48:04I hereby appoint you First Gentleman of the Bedchamber.
00:48:09But I've already got a handle to me name.
00:48:10But whose bedchamber is it?
00:48:13Our royal bedchamber.
00:48:16Oh, couldn't I have the 500 guineas?
00:48:18No.
00:48:20Hawkins.
00:48:21Robisher.
00:48:23Why did you never bring me such treasures from your costly expeditions?
00:48:28Your Majesty, this America is but a poor worthless land
00:48:32whose miserable natives live in tents of skin.
00:48:35Well, I'll wallow in a wigwam.
00:48:37What a cockeyed cat.
00:48:38Here.
00:48:40Get a load of that.
00:48:42That's my weekend cottage in Washington.
00:48:44And have a deco at these.
00:48:46Skents of tin.
00:48:48Another crack like that and I'll call off the whole sale.
00:48:51Your Majesty, this Manhattan shall you belong to the Netherlands.
00:48:56We Dutch, you sport it from the Indians.
00:48:58This land belong to France by right of conquest.
00:49:01America is done.
00:49:03Nobody.
00:49:05Let them squabble.
00:49:06It will avail them not.
00:49:08This land of gold and bounty shall yet be England.
00:49:19Oh, yay!
00:49:21Oh, yay!
00:49:23Oh, yay!
00:49:25Here be the news.
00:49:27And this preceptimous fidel are crying it.
00:49:30At Whitehall this morn,
00:49:32Her Gracious Majesty did honor by knighthood
00:49:34one Tommy Handley, Lord of the Americas.
00:49:38Tommy Handley, Lord of the Americas?
00:49:41Never did I hear tell of him in all my voyages.
00:49:44Sir Tommy Handley,
00:49:46hath been further honored
00:49:48as to be first gentleman of the Royal Bedchamber
00:49:52for a term of seven years
00:49:54and will now reside at the palace.
00:49:58Seven years?
00:50:00Why that dirty double-crossing.
00:50:01A self-confessed Scottish spy,
00:50:04one Stuart McAndrew,
00:50:07hath this morning been taken by the yeoman of the guard
00:50:10and by Her Majesty's decree
00:50:13shall be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
00:50:17Take heed that several of his companions
00:50:20are still abroad in London town.
00:50:23If any citizen hath knowledge of these villains,
00:50:27let him inform the Tower Guard.
00:50:29That be the end of ye news.
00:50:40And that be the end of ye news.
00:50:43This curvy violet, Sir Tommy,
00:50:46steals honors that be mine.
00:50:48It is I who've just returned from the Americas.
00:50:51Did I not drop anchor in the Thames this morning?
00:50:54Did I not drop anchor in the Thames this morning?
00:51:06How?
00:51:08How? I did store to thee to stay on the ship.
00:51:11Me tired, damn ship. Me thirsty.
00:51:25Me wanton go palace to see Queen.
00:51:28And so you shall.
00:51:30This be the Princess Pocahontas,
00:51:32owner of vast territories of the Americas.
00:51:34Me hip, big chiefess.
00:51:37America, she belong me.
00:51:39And I'll defend her rights.
00:51:41Will so this Sir Tommy's lies in his teeth.
00:51:44Come.
00:51:48Hey, Captain.
00:51:50Do you mind if we step on your warpath?
00:51:52We're after Sir Tommy's scalp, too.
00:51:54Then you shall share my coach.
00:51:56Susie, Susie, wait a minute.
00:51:58Are you crazy?
00:52:00I've got an idea.
00:52:02There's only one chance to get the Professor's pardon,
00:52:04and this may be it. Come on.
00:52:17Now, me lucky lads,
00:52:19who's going to have another basin?
00:52:20The more you put down, the more you pick up.
00:52:22There is no focus, there is no focus.
00:52:24And no smoke or smell comes from the lamp
00:52:26as the fun goes round.
00:52:28Here it is, there it goes.
00:52:30Now watch it, folks, watch it.
00:52:32Is it in heaven? Is it in hell?
00:52:34The dim, delusive ball beneath the shell.
00:52:36Keep your peepers on the ball, folks.
00:52:38That's what you have to do.
00:52:40There is no jiggery, no pokery.
00:52:42Now, Your Majesty, under which shell
00:52:44is the little ball hiding this time?
00:52:46Sir Tommy?
00:52:48Oh, excuse me, Your Nibs.
00:52:51What of that native tune now
00:52:53that's promised to teach us?
00:52:55I'll do with it in a few minutes.
00:52:57I'm just getting my last slice of cake.
00:53:01Well, how do we go?
00:53:03You think so, Tommy?
00:53:05This time I shall retrieve all.
00:53:08My brooches, against thy trinkets
00:53:11and the odd bag of guineas.
00:53:13What do you mean, go the lot?
00:53:15The lot.
00:53:16All right.
00:53:26What devil's work is this?
00:53:28Hard luck, Your Majesty.
00:53:30Mine, I think.
00:53:32Now, come, come, Mrs. Bess.
00:53:34Don't be downhearted.
00:53:36How about the crown jewels?
00:53:38You're sure to win soon, you know.
00:53:40All you have to do is to keep your peepers
00:53:42on the little ball.
00:53:44Now gather round, lads and lasses, gather round.
00:53:46Go away with riches.
00:53:48Never speculate, never accumulate.
00:53:50Who's that, Tommy?
00:53:52Lummi, a talking loofer.
00:53:54Marquee not the devil's tattoo?
00:53:58The last courtier who won from Her Majesty
00:54:01lost his head.
00:54:03Pity.
00:54:05Decapitated.
00:54:07Can I wear a cap?
00:54:09Thanks, Dad.
00:54:11Your Majesty, we're going to have a new deal.
00:54:13This time I'm going to give you something for a change.
00:54:14It'll be a change, indeed.
00:54:45Come day, Margaret.
00:54:47Thou shall fit thy wits against mine.
00:54:50The stake shall be the baubles thou wear'st.
00:54:59Keep thy peepers on the little ball.
00:55:02Your Majesty.
00:55:04You heard.
00:55:06Ay, thou heardest.
00:55:14Sorum.
00:55:45Though it's many miles away
00:55:47from little old New York.
00:55:49Everybody out there loves their Big Chief Tom Tom.
00:56:02Now, everybody.
00:56:07Come on, everybody.
00:56:08Come on, everybody.
00:56:13Louder, louder.
00:56:24Mighty fine, mighty fine.
00:56:29I can't eat, don't get back.
00:56:34That's Indian for Wormwood Scrubs.
00:56:38He spends his spare time picking or cutting.
00:56:40In his cell he sings, sing all day long.
00:56:49Big Chief Tom Tom, he's a woman.
00:56:52Mighty fine, this Indian's woman.
00:56:54Sings, sings, sings, sings all day long.
00:56:58All the red-hot Indian lovers
00:57:01Love to spend their Indian summers
00:57:03Working, sharing and listening to his songs.
00:57:08He is as strong as a moose.
00:57:13He's got so many puppets.
00:57:17Big Chief Tom Tom, mighty pony
00:57:20From the island they call Tony
00:57:22Sings, sings, sings, sings all day long.
00:57:36Thou hast lost it.
00:57:39Oh, my lord Bernie.
00:57:42Thou too has purchased land in the Americas.
00:57:45Then stake it now against my gold.
00:57:48And it is your majesty.
00:57:50These old eyes of mine are too dim for such trickery.
00:57:54Trickery?
00:57:56Your majesty, I did but meet.
00:57:58Choose at once.
00:58:02Thou hast lost.
00:58:04Thou hast lost.
00:58:09Ah, Sir Tony, thou art just in time.
00:58:12Well, well, what a pupil, eh?
00:58:14What a nib with the nutshells.
00:58:16And you've cleaned up America as well.
00:58:18Ay, the Americas are mine.
00:58:20But for this one territory.
00:58:22And I bet you'll have that in the bank before long.
00:58:24Well spoken.
00:58:26But for the moment it is thine.
00:58:28Now, Sir Tony, it is thy turn.
00:58:30Who, me?
00:58:31Well, I taught you the racket.
00:58:33The more thou layest down, the more thou shalt pick up.
00:58:35Yes, but this cuts right across the postal code.
00:58:38I'll tell you what I will do.
00:58:40I'll trade my slice of America for this lot.
00:58:42Agreed.
00:58:44A fair exchange.
00:58:46And you've done yourself a bit of good.
00:58:48Thou too has done thyself a bit of good.
00:58:50Oh?
00:58:52I have improved on thy game.
00:58:54The little ball lurks not under any shell.
00:58:57I have cast it away.
00:58:58Well, it's lucky I didn't teach you strip poker.
00:59:01Blow.
00:59:03Let me a cloak.
00:59:11Your Majesty.
00:59:13A stranger craves audience.
00:59:15But lately returned from the Americas,
00:59:17he doth claim title to all that land
00:59:19bartered by Sir Tony.
00:59:21That can.
00:59:23I'll ring up Whitehall, one-two, one-two.
00:59:25Stay.
00:59:26Well, perhaps you're right.
00:59:28How is this stranger called?
00:59:30Captain John Smith, Your Majesty.
00:59:32Admit him.
00:59:37I am the Scourge of the Seven Seas.
00:59:42Anybody want to make something out of him?
00:59:44He thinks him small for such brave words.
00:59:47Size maketh not the man.
00:59:49May have what he lacks in stature,
00:59:51he gains in courage.
00:59:53Your Majesty's most humble servant.
00:59:56Humble and loyal subject.
00:59:58Well.
01:00:00Well, if it isn't good old Jack Smith,
01:00:02the Whispering Bosun.
01:00:04How are you, Johnny?
01:00:06Your Majesty, Johnny Smith's an old shipmate of mine.
01:00:08Then, Captain Smith,
01:00:10it will please thee to know that thy shipmate
01:00:12hath sold the Americas to us.
01:00:14Oh, he hath, hath he?
01:00:16Yes.
01:00:18Do you dispute his right?
01:00:20I do.
01:00:22These maps, the last book of my voyages,
01:00:24will prove my claim.
01:00:26I thought you were getting the Professor's cordon.
01:00:28It's the very next thing on my agenda.
01:00:30Now, look what you've done.
01:00:32You mean, look who I've done?
01:00:36And here's to South Dakota.
01:00:45Let me out!
01:00:47Let me out!
01:00:49Where am I?
01:00:51Under the table where you belong.
01:00:53I got my orders.
01:00:54Drink him under the table.
01:00:56That's what Susie said.
01:00:58We've only got one under so far.
01:01:01Red Biddy must have hollow legs.
01:01:05Good.
01:01:07Me tell him Queen Pocahontas own Americas.
01:01:09But sitting bull, him go shut eye.
01:01:13Here's to Idaho.
01:01:15Him no take me big palace,
01:01:17see Queen, me go by himself.
01:01:19Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:01:21Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:01:22Me put down fine feathers.
01:01:24Quick.
01:01:26No, no, no, look, look, look.
01:01:28You can't go to the court class.
01:01:30Have another drink.
01:01:35Thou art willing to relinquish all thy claim to the Americas
01:01:39for the pardon of this one prisoner,
01:01:41thy chief navigator?
01:01:43Thou hast said it.
01:01:45America for McAndrew.
01:01:47Then thou will first sign this deed of quittance.
01:01:49Thou will first sign the pardon, ma'am.
01:01:53Your Majesty, the prisoner from the tower,
01:01:55as thou didst command.
01:01:57So.
01:01:59Thou art a late prisoner.
01:02:01A very natural mistake, madam.
01:02:03Queen Elizabeth, I presume.
01:02:06The very ring you're wearing on your tomb.
01:02:09Oh, what?
01:02:11He says he likes to sing in his room in the tower.
01:02:13Well, goodbye.
01:02:15It's been nice knowing you,
01:02:17but we've got to get back to my ship.
01:02:19But before the time,
01:02:20your Majesty, ta-ta.
01:02:23Hold there.
01:02:26Thy ill-gotten gains are impounded
01:02:28by the royal treasury.
01:02:30But I assure you, ma'am,
01:02:32there is nothing in here but my knighting.
01:02:34You lie.
01:02:36Well, can I have my cigar case back?
01:02:38Nay.
01:02:40Well, I won't smoke in bed.
01:02:42Nay.
01:02:44Well, can I have my watch back then?
01:02:46Nay.
01:02:48But just a teeny-weeny souvenir.
01:02:50If thou wouldst keep it there,
01:02:52begone!
01:02:54Begone!
01:02:56This is where I begin to begone.
01:02:58Your Majesty, Princess Pocahontas
01:03:00craves immediate audience.
01:03:02Princess Pocahontas?
01:03:04From what royal house does she come?
01:03:06She states that she is the ruler of the Americas
01:03:08and doth own all that land.
01:03:10Will there be no end to these claims?
01:03:13Hold there!
01:03:15Guard, bring them back.
01:03:21Now, Captain Smith,
01:03:23dost thou know aught
01:03:25of this Princess Pocahontas?
01:03:27Admit nothing.
01:03:29Well, I seem to have heard
01:03:31the name somewhere before.
01:03:33Your Majesty, the Princess Pocahontas
01:03:35declares she was brought to England
01:03:37by Captain Smith himself.
01:03:39Indeed, Captain Smith.
01:03:41What say you to that?
01:03:43Well, actually,
01:03:45she's a friend of Sir Tommy's.
01:03:47Ooh!
01:03:49Her Royal Highness
01:03:51the Princess Pocahontas
01:03:53of the Americas.
01:04:04How!
01:04:06Sir Tommy,
01:04:08thou speakest the language of these savages.
01:04:10Bid thy friend the Princess welcome.
01:04:12How!
01:04:14How!
01:04:16And how!
01:04:18How!
01:04:20And how!
01:04:22And how!
01:04:26How!
01:04:44How!
01:04:46All right!
01:04:48Maybe me, talk of business, maybe.
01:04:52And what do you want for the Americans?
01:04:55I give you all if you give me
01:04:59that nice man with head of wavy skin.
01:05:01Oh!
01:05:03Something doth underlie this strange interest
01:05:05in our late prisoner.
01:05:07Bring him to me.
01:05:08Oh!
01:05:11Let him be away, you dirty bollocks!
01:05:14More commotion!
01:05:15Doth yet another claim the Americans?
01:05:22Him, steal my fine feathers.
01:05:24No!
01:05:28Mama!
01:05:29So it's you who's taken my name, is it?
01:05:31There's the scum of the seven seas.
01:05:35Oh!
01:05:36Oh!
01:05:37Oh!
01:05:38Oh!
01:05:38Oh!
01:05:40A witch!
01:05:42Seize her!
01:05:43Seize her, Tommy!
01:05:45Seize the woman!
01:05:46Seize everybody!
01:05:49Hey, be careful of that thing.
01:05:51Now wait, wait a minute, now wait a minute!
01:06:06Gosh, we've got less privacy than a monkey in the zoo.
01:06:10This place reminds me of digs I once had in Scunthorpe.
01:06:13Oh, there they go again.
01:06:14Are they trying to get in or get out?
01:06:18Hey, Nathaniel!
01:06:21Have you got a home to go to?
01:06:22Yes, master, but our task must be finished by dawn.
01:06:26What is it, a soup kitchen?
01:06:28Ha ha!
01:06:29No, it is for thee and thy friends, sweet master.
01:06:34A cradle for thee and thy friends.
01:06:37Ha ha, a cradle to swing thee to sleep.
01:06:42Whee!
01:06:43Ha ha ha!
01:06:47We heard.
01:06:50Supper!
01:06:56Well, that shifted the night shift.
01:07:02Blimey, Lord Worsham.
01:07:05Aha, the five-course meal and no cover charge.
01:07:08Aye, thy first meal and thy last.
01:07:11Ha ha ha!
01:07:16Hey, what's the big idea?
01:07:17It was drawn to me in the raffle.
01:07:19Ha ha ha!
01:07:24Cheerful little twerp, isn't he?
01:07:27You're in my light, madam.
01:07:29There's no use fiddling with that McConnell now, professor.
01:07:32While I was incarcerated in the tower,
01:07:34it came to me in a flash.
01:07:36What did?
01:07:37The fundamental truth that will solve all our difficulties.
01:07:40That going forward is the exact reverse of going back.
01:07:45Ain't nature wonderful?
01:07:47That's gonna solve everything.
01:07:48It has.
01:07:49It has?
01:07:50You mean you've really fixed up that gadget
01:07:52and take us back home?
01:07:53Yes, I can definitely promise a safe return to 1943.
01:07:571943?
01:07:58That's my lucky number.
01:07:59Given access to the time ball, of course.
01:08:02There isn't a prison built that can hold Thomas Houdini Handley.
01:08:09What?
01:08:10No file?
01:08:11No fetch saw?
01:08:13Nothing but dough on me digits?
01:08:15Prison bread isn't what it used to be in my day.
01:08:21If it wasn't for that peeping python,
01:08:22love and Tommy Handley would laugh at locksmiths.
01:08:30Anybody got a hairpin?
01:08:32Ouch!
01:08:36Say, you don't happen to have a load of dynamite
01:08:38in the other pocket, do you?
01:08:39I don't think so.
01:08:41Wait a minute.
01:08:43The professor's camera.
01:08:45That is a load of dynamite.
01:08:47Dear old pal, jolly old pal,
01:08:52Always together in old times...
01:08:54Hold it!
01:08:55To the left!
01:08:56To the left turn!
01:08:57Dear old pal, jolly old pal,
01:09:00Give me no friendship at all...
01:09:02It seems to be on a strange chance they seek to cast a spell.
01:09:05Would I could cast their entrails to the crows.
01:09:09That's a four score, time and ten, sergeant.
01:09:11It do savour the magic.
01:09:16Hold it!
01:09:17Who let the rousings never cease?
01:09:19I will arrest your victims for you before the world turns for you.
01:09:24Take heed!
01:09:26Why bait you the prisoners, sergeant?
01:09:28Nay, captain, they bait us.
01:09:29Four score, times and ten, have they sung that?
01:09:31Nay, four score, times and eleven.
01:09:34It is magic, I tell thee, captain.
01:09:36Magic?
01:09:37Ay, four score, time and eleven, have they drained their tankards to Queen Beth?
01:09:41Is loyalty then a crime?
01:09:42Nay, but only four tankards did I take them in.
01:09:45It is magic, I tell thee.
01:09:47Magic or no, I have something here to stop their pranks.
01:09:50Open, sergeant.
01:09:52Cheer, old pals!
01:09:54Jolly, old pals!
01:09:55Silence!
01:09:57Hear ye!
01:09:58Sentence of death by hanging, for treason, theft and fraud,
01:10:03and other grievous acts against the Queen's Majesty.
01:10:06I am therefore ordered to leave you to the gallows forthwith,
01:10:09by order of Her Majesty the Queen.
01:10:11Cheer, old pals!
01:10:13Jolly, old pals!
01:10:15The Queen?
01:10:17Cheer, old pals!
01:10:18Jolly, old pals!
01:10:19Cheer, old pals!
01:10:20Jolly, old pals!
01:10:21Jolly, old pals!
01:10:22Cheer, old pals!
01:10:23Jolly, old pals!
01:10:24Jolly, old pals!
01:10:25Jolly, old pals!
01:10:26Jolly, old pals!
01:10:27Jolly, old pals!
01:10:28Jolly, old pals!
01:10:29Jolly, old pals!
01:10:30Jolly, old pals!
01:10:31Jolly, old pals!
01:10:32Jolly, old pals!
01:10:33Jolly, old pals!
01:10:34Jolly, old pals!
01:10:35Jolly, old pals!
01:10:36Jolly, old pals!
01:10:37Jolly, old pals!
01:10:38Jolly, old pals!
01:10:39Jolly, old pals!
01:10:40Jolly, old pals!
01:10:41Jolly, old pals!
01:10:42Jolly, old pals!
01:10:43Jolly, old pals!
01:10:44Jolly, old pals!
01:10:45Jolly, old pals!
01:10:46Progress!
01:10:47Progress!
01:10:48Get out of here!
01:10:50Get out of here!
01:10:52Get out of here!
01:10:54Get out of here!
01:10:56Get out of here!
01:10:58Get out of here!
01:11:00Get out of here!
01:11:02Get out of here!
01:11:04Get out of here!
01:11:06Get out of here!
01:11:08Get out of here!
01:11:10Get out of here!
01:11:12Get out of here!
01:11:14Get out of here!
01:11:16Get out of here!
01:11:18Get out of here!
01:11:20Get out of here!
01:11:22Get out of here!
01:11:24Get out of here!
01:11:26Get out of here!
01:11:28Get out of here!
01:11:30Get out of here!
01:11:32Get out of here!
01:11:34Get out of here!
01:11:36Get out of here!
01:11:38Get out of here!
01:11:40Get out of here!
01:11:42Get out of here!
01:11:44Get out of here!
01:11:46Get out of here!
01:11:48Get out of here!
01:11:50Get out of here!
01:11:52Get out of here!
01:11:54Get out of here!
01:11:56Get out of here!
01:11:58Get out of here!
01:12:00Get out of here!
01:12:02Get out of here!
01:12:04Get out of here!
01:12:06Get out of here!
01:12:08Get out of here!
01:12:10Get out of here!
01:12:12I think we can safely say a stop.
01:12:15Here we go.
01:12:16We hope.
01:12:20Something tells me things are going to happen.
01:12:27They've happened, all right. I'm going to be dialed on the differential.
01:12:32That is strict movement.
01:12:34It's merely a question of tracing the trouble.
01:12:37I'm as confident as ever.
01:12:43We are moving.
01:12:45We seem to be sailing through clouds with knobs on.
01:12:48Though only at an altitude of a few feet, but I'll soon discover the trouble.
01:12:52What again? You said that two hours ago.
01:13:02I've traced the trouble at last. The condensers are dry.
01:13:05So am I. My dynamo's nearly dropping out.
01:13:08So am I. My dynamo's nearly dropping out.
01:13:11All we need's half a litre of water.
01:13:13All I need's half a beacon of scotch.
01:13:17Get going and bring back some snowballs.
01:13:19This is no time to play games.
01:13:21Excellent idea, Mrs. Barton. We can melt the snow and charge the condensers.
01:13:24Yeah, well, don't charge them to me.
01:13:27Today, we fire a beacon that shall strike terror into the hearts of all
01:13:33who turn to treason and witchcraft.
01:13:37Seize him!
01:13:43We'll be back where we started.
01:13:44They're organising a bonfire for us.
01:13:46We're done for. Ground off. Cooked in our own casserole.
01:13:49Come on, Professor. Can't we take off?
01:13:51The platinum points have burnt.
01:13:52And we've paid our chance to take off. He's gone.
01:14:00Unfortunately, we need platinum, and that metal won't be discovered for another two centuries.
01:14:04So we're here for another 200 years.
01:14:07They're stoking up a fire under our feet.
01:14:10I've got it. Use my platinum wedding ring.
01:14:12Oh, no, Susie. It's too late.
01:14:15I've got it. Use my platinum wedding ring.
01:14:17Oh, no, Susie. It's too late.
01:14:19I've got it. Use my platinum wedding ring.
01:14:20Oh, no, Susie.
01:14:21Excellent idea. Any platinum will do.
01:14:23Don't feel so bad about it, darling.
01:14:25You can buy me a new one when we get back.
01:14:27But I'm afraid I can't use this.
01:14:29This is only lead with a thin casing of white gold.
01:14:32You fool-flusher, out!
01:14:34Tell me, where's that cigar case of yours?
01:14:36Impounded. Leaked. Locked up in the Royal Treasury.
01:14:39Well, you'll have to get it back.
01:14:40Who, me? Well, go out there and send my surroundings.
01:14:43Well, get cracking or get cooked.
01:14:44Susie, don't you go.
01:14:47Let us begin.
01:14:51Hey, Wally, hold everything.
01:14:53I demand my rights.
01:14:55I've got a few last words to say.
01:14:58Let the witch speak.
01:15:00What do you call me?
01:15:01No, no, no, no, no. She said a witch.
01:15:04Oh. Very well.
01:15:06We'll kick off with a song.
01:15:16I'm sitting on a cloud that's silver lined
01:15:18Feeling in a joyful frame of mind
01:15:21Through the blue I see a view
01:15:23A lovely world where dreams come true
01:15:27I'm going down now, sir.
01:15:30A peaceful mind by carefree mind
01:15:32I'm on a cloud that's silver lined
01:15:35Let me tell you right away
01:15:37Exactly how I get this way
01:15:39Why I'm happy, why I'm gay
01:15:41Here's the why, because today
01:15:44I'm sitting on a cloud, I don't know where
01:15:46But that's a silver line, I don't much care
01:15:48That's all I want to do
01:15:50Oh, sitting on a silvery cloud with you
01:15:58I'm sitting on a cloud that's silver lined
01:16:00A feeling and joyful frame of mind
01:16:03Through the blue I see a view
01:16:05A lovely world where dreams come true
01:16:07Living in a dream the whole day long
01:16:09Singing to myself a cheer up song
01:16:12A peaceful mind, my cares behind
01:16:14I'm on a cloud that's silver lined
01:16:16Let me tell you right away
01:16:18Exactly how I get this way
01:16:21Why I'm happy, why I'm gay
01:16:23Here's the why, because today
01:16:25I'm sitting on a cloud, I don't know where
01:16:27But that's a silver line, I don't much care
01:16:29That's all I want to do
01:16:31Oh, sitting on a silvery cloud with you
01:16:34Hey!
01:16:36Thou art not one of my men
01:16:38Yet I seem to have seen thy face before
01:16:41What sayest thou?
01:16:45Eh?
01:16:56Let me tell you right away
01:16:58Exactly how I get this way
01:17:00Why I'm happy, why I'm gay
01:17:02Here's the why, because today
01:17:04I'm sitting on a cloud, I don't know where
01:17:06But that's a silver line, I don't much care
01:17:09Pish and tosh!
01:17:10But the sergeant did order us to guard the treasury until even time
01:17:13But the sergeant hath retired to ye prepared position
01:17:16Go see ye men about ye dog, be gone
01:17:19You see about ye cat
01:17:29That's all I want to do
01:17:31Oh, sitting on a silvery cloud with you
01:17:34Is that all?
01:17:36Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no
01:17:40Would you like to take a walk?
01:17:43Do you think it's gonna rain?
01:17:47What is a foot?
01:17:48An ankle turned up at the end
01:17:50Eh?
01:17:51Where is the treasury guard?
01:17:52Under arrest, my lord
01:17:53What?
01:17:54That be their dirty work
01:17:58Pursuit!
01:17:59We are too late
01:18:00The rats have already nibbled ye cheese
01:18:07Ain't ye tired of the talkies?
01:18:09I prefer the walkies
01:18:10Something good'll come from that
01:18:13Hey!
01:18:14Tis enough!
01:18:15Let the fire be lighted
01:18:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no
01:18:18We've got lots more
01:18:20Shine up the path, the old man says
01:18:23Dark laws the tempest overhead
01:18:26And if ye cost me their lives, it will be but justice
01:18:29But this new sergeant, he did order
01:18:30Blockheads!
01:18:31We'll run him to earth
01:18:33Vicky!
01:18:37Oh, buy thyself a general acrobat
01:18:39And a...
01:18:40Guard!
01:18:41Guard!
01:18:42Guard!
01:18:43Guard!
01:18:44Stop him!
01:18:45Stop the rats!
01:18:46Stop him!
01:18:47Acrobat!
01:18:54Tis enough!
01:18:55Into the boil with them all
01:18:57Let the flames end their antics
01:19:02Too late, too late
01:19:05Susie! Susie!
01:19:06Susie! Susie!
01:19:08Bring him here
01:19:10Here, Susie, take it
01:19:11Take it, Susie
01:19:16Here's your platinum
01:19:17Step on the gas
01:19:18Thanks
01:19:21Fling me on the fire, your majesty
01:19:23Although I'm too green to burn, I deserve to die
01:19:25Thou shalt die, never fear
01:19:27Thanks very much
01:19:28But as a knight of the realm
01:19:30Thou shalt die by the axe
01:19:32Not by the stake
01:19:34Then I resign my knighthood
01:19:35And leave the bedchamber without a stain on my counterfeit
01:19:38By the axe
01:19:39Your majesty!
01:19:40No!
01:19:41Your majesty!
01:19:43This devil spawn has robbed the royal treasury
01:19:46What?
01:19:47Well, call me Burly Muppet here
01:19:49Stay!
01:19:52Ah, a pincer movement
01:19:53Ah, a pincer movement
01:20:02I've been framed
01:20:03He is a knight no longer
01:20:05To the fire with him
01:20:07Come on, you heard
01:20:09To the fire with him
01:20:10To the fire with him
01:20:14Hey, hey, hey
01:20:20Open up, it's me
01:20:24Oh, oh Bill, Bill, I'm on fire, put me out
01:20:30It's my face red
01:20:35It works
01:20:36It works
01:20:53No!
01:20:54No!
01:20:55No!
01:20:56No!
01:20:57No!
01:20:58No!
01:20:59No!
01:21:00No!
01:21:01No!
01:21:02No!
01:21:03No!
01:21:04No!
01:21:05No!
01:21:06No!
01:21:07No!
01:21:08No!
01:21:09No!
01:21:10No!
01:21:11No!
01:21:12No!
01:21:13No!
01:21:14No!
01:21:15No!
01:21:16No!
01:21:17No!
01:21:18No!
01:21:19No!
01:21:20No!
01:21:21No!
01:21:23No!
01:21:24No!
01:21:25No!
01:21:26No!
01:21:27No!
01:21:28No!
01:21:29No!
01:21:30No!
01:21:31No!
01:21:32No!
01:21:33No!
01:21:34No!
01:21:35No!
01:21:36No!
01:21:49The very place from which we started
01:21:51Wait till I phone Walter Winchell.
01:22:00What a story, eh?
01:22:01If it's worth a million, it's worth a fiver.
01:22:03Well, this is the studio, all right, but everything's different.
01:22:06Yeah, somebody shifted all the professor's props.
01:22:09Some navigation.
01:22:10The professor's got a bullseye.
01:22:11Look.
01:22:12Look at what?
01:22:13Nothing.
01:22:14There's nothing there.
01:22:15The professor's vanished.
01:22:16Susie.
01:22:17Where are you?
01:22:18Well, where do you think she is, standing right...
01:22:19Susie.
01:22:20Susie.
01:22:21But she was there a second ago.
01:22:22People can't just disappear.
01:22:23That's what you think.
01:22:24Well, stuff me with tea and tea cake.
01:22:25Susie.
01:22:26Susie.
01:22:27Susie.
01:22:28Susie.
01:22:29Susie.
01:22:30Susie.
01:22:31Susie.
01:22:32Susie.
01:22:33Susie.
01:22:34Susie.
01:22:35Susie.
01:22:36Susie.
01:22:37Susie.
01:22:38Susie.
01:22:39Susie.
01:22:40Susie.
01:22:41Susie.
01:22:42Susie.
01:22:43Susie.
01:22:44Susie.
01:22:45Well, Mr. Hand carefully.
01:22:49Your references appear to be quite satisfactory.
01:22:50If you'll wait a moment, I'll draw a check for your first month's salary.
01:22:54Ah.
01:22:55Mr. Hamilton, what's the date today?
01:22:58September 10th.
01:22:59Not December 10th.
01:23:00Of course not.
01:23:02Well, well, well.
01:23:05This makes the party just perfect.
01:23:07Gosh, Susie.
01:23:08I thought you'd gone.
01:23:10We're as good as...
01:23:13I see what's happened.
01:23:14The professor's brought us back three months too soon.
01:23:16That's why he disappeared.
01:23:17Yes, and that's why we're a couple of soundtracks.
01:23:19Bill, this means Tommy hasn't got our $10,000 yet.
01:23:22That's right, Susie.
01:23:24And he's never going to, as long as time lasts.
01:23:27Take that, you jerk.
01:23:29And that.
01:23:30And that.
01:23:31Come on, Bill, we're wanted at the theater.
01:23:33We were playing Chicago this week.
01:23:35Okay, Susie.
01:23:36So long, partner.
01:23:39Well, tickle me in the two and four, miss.
01:23:41I must figure this out.
01:23:42The professor went because I didn't meet him until next week.
01:23:45They went because they're in Chicago this week.
01:23:47Now, I fixed a job this morning
01:23:49that I got the sack for yesterday.
01:23:50I wish I could disappear, but of course I can't
01:23:53because I'm the only one that's been here all the time.