HOW NOT TO DATE YOUR NEIGHBOR Full Movie
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00:00:00THE END
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00:00:08See? I told you I look better here, didn't I?
00:00:10Yeah, yeah, you're right.
00:00:12Of course I'm right.
00:00:14I know what's best for you, baby.
00:00:22Oh, that's work. Gotta go.
00:00:24Oh, okay.
00:00:26What?
00:00:28Oh, um, nothing. It's just
00:00:30I thought you said you took the day off so you could help me move in.
00:00:34Well, you know if I don't work, then I don't get paid.
00:00:36And if I don't get paid,
00:00:38how am I supposed to afford those fancy dinners I take you out on?
00:00:40Right.
00:00:42Speaking of,
00:00:44as of next week we'll have been dating
00:00:46a whole year.
00:00:48Maybe we could do something.
00:00:50Well, we've been going out on dates
00:00:52for about a year.
00:00:54That's what I said.
00:00:56Well, that's not exactly what you said.
00:00:58I mean, you're not looking for anything serious.
00:01:00Right?
00:01:02What?
00:01:04Well, I mean, I'm trying to start my business
00:01:06and you're waiting on a phone call from the library.
00:01:08I think that we're good as is.
00:01:12I mean, we don't have to put a label on anything.
00:01:14Right, babe?
00:01:16Yeah, right.
00:01:18Yeah.
00:01:20Okay, well, I gotta go,
00:01:22so I will see you later.
00:01:24Mm-hmm.
00:01:34Adam!
00:01:36Oh, shit.
00:01:46Perfect.
00:01:48Wonderful.
00:01:56Uh-huh.
00:01:58Okay.
00:02:00Ma'am, I need you to stop what you're doing
00:02:06and put your hands in the air.
00:02:08Hands above your head.
00:02:10What the hell?
00:02:11Ma'am, if you don't cooperate,
00:02:12I'm gonna be forced to grab you.
00:02:13No, no, no, wait, wait.
00:02:14I'm not breaking in.
00:02:15This is my apartment.
00:02:16I live here.
00:02:17It's like three.
00:02:18What are...
00:02:19What are you doing?
00:02:20Oh, my God!
00:02:21I'm arresting you for breaking an entry.
00:02:23Oh, my God!
00:02:24This is my apartment, you lunatic!
00:02:25I live here!
00:02:26I don't know.
00:02:27Do you have documentation to prove that?
00:02:28Dad, check my phone!
00:02:29The lease is in my email!
00:02:30All right.
00:02:31We'll see about that.
00:02:32Email, huh?
00:02:34Where do I look?
00:02:35What do you mean?
00:02:36It's right at the top!
00:02:37Huh.
00:02:38What'd you look like?
00:02:39Yeah!
00:02:40Okay, can you uncuff me now, please?
00:02:51For the record,
00:02:53credit card works better.
00:02:58Welcome home.
00:02:59Who are you?
00:03:00Jake.
00:03:01Apartment D.
00:03:02Nice to meet you, neighbor.
00:03:03And you are...
00:03:04Noelle!
00:03:05Pleasure.
00:03:06Noelle.
00:03:07Well, if you need a cup of sugar or a jail-free card, you know where to find me.
00:03:20How about an apology?
00:03:21For what?
00:03:22Protecting and serving?
00:03:23That's...
00:03:24Kinda my job.
00:03:25Oh!
00:03:26So your job is being an impulsive asshole who goes around cuffing innocent people?
00:03:29See you around, neighbor!
00:03:30You wish, asshole!
00:03:31Jerk.
00:03:32Who the hell does he think he is?
00:03:33You're under arrest.
00:03:34I live here.
00:03:35Hi, I'm Shelly.
00:03:36Hi, I'm Shelly.
00:03:37Tiki!
00:03:38Tiki!
00:03:39I'm so glad you answered!
00:03:40Hi, I'm Shelly.
00:03:41Hi, I'm Shelly.
00:03:46Tiki!
00:03:48Oh, Tiki!
00:03:49I'm so glad you answered.
00:03:50I don't want to be able to sustain the secret.
00:03:51See you around, neighbor.
00:03:52Who the hell does he think he is?
00:03:54You're under arrest.
00:03:56I live here.
00:04:03Hi, Aunt Shelley.
00:04:04Oh, Jakey! I'm so glad you answered.
00:04:07I just wanted to check in with you.
00:04:08I miss you. It's been so long.
00:04:11I miss you too, Aunt Shelley.
00:04:12Jake, I know these past few years have been hard for you,
00:04:15but your parents wouldn't want you to live this way.
00:04:17You're practically a recluse at this point.
00:04:20I'm fine, Aunt Shelley. Really.
00:04:22How about I come by?
00:04:23I can bring this lovely woman you need to meet.
00:04:25She's the daughter of my friend from Swim Aerobics.
00:04:28No, don't do that.
00:04:29I'm actually seeing someone.
00:04:32You are?
00:04:34Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.
00:04:36Didn't know if it was serious,
00:04:37but she just moved in,
00:04:39so no need to set me up.
00:04:42Well, I can't wait to meet her.
00:04:44I'll pop by sometime.
00:04:44No, don't do that. She's shy.
00:04:47Nonsense.
00:04:50Shelly, I have to go.
00:05:05What are you doing in here?
00:05:07I heard screaming.
00:05:08I thought you were in trouble.
00:05:09Oh, so it's okay for you to break in, but not me?
00:05:11Listen, I only came to help,
00:05:13but clearly you don't need me,
00:05:14so I'll just leave.
00:05:15Wait, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
00:05:18There's a spider.
00:05:24Uh, is that what all the festival's about?
00:05:29Yeah, I just can't.
00:05:31Here, I'll score tomorrow.
00:05:32The spider now lives
00:05:46in a tree outside your window.
00:05:49I thought you were gonna, um,
00:05:51thank you.
00:05:55Truce?
00:05:55Look, I'm sorry about earlier.
00:06:02Honestly,
00:06:03I thought you were trying to rob the place,
00:06:04and my training kicked in.
00:06:13Yeah, truce.
00:06:16You were right, though.
00:06:16I was being an asshole.
00:06:19Usually, when I'm cupping the innocent,
00:06:21it's consensual.
00:06:28You're cute when you're flustered.
00:06:30I'm not, I'm not flustered.
00:06:34You're sure about that.
00:06:41Um, I'm seeing someone.
00:06:44Congratulations.
00:06:45Okay, yeah, so stop flirting.
00:06:48Me?
00:06:48Flirter?
00:06:49I'm just being friendly.
00:06:52Oh, we're friends now.
00:06:53I would say so, yeah.
00:06:55I saved your ass twice
00:06:56in less than 24 hours.
00:06:57Oh, my God,
00:06:58however can I repay you?
00:06:59You want a loan?
00:07:00A kidney?
00:07:01Actually?
00:07:02Seriously?
00:07:03That was a joke.
00:07:04Would you pretend
00:07:05to be my girlfriend?
00:07:07What?
00:07:10Look, um,
00:07:12my aunt's coming to town,
00:07:13and I might have
00:07:14accidentally told her
00:07:15I'm seeing someone.
00:07:17So you lied?
00:07:18Potato, patata.
00:07:21So what do you say?
00:07:23I just told you
00:07:23I'm seeing someone
00:07:24and you're a complete stranger.
00:07:25Why would I do this?
00:07:26But I'm not a stranger, though.
00:07:28I'm your neighbor.
00:07:29You're friendly.
00:07:31Handsome.
00:07:33Charming.
00:07:35Charitable.
00:07:35Lock picking.
00:07:37Lock picking, yeah.
00:07:38Look, you would really
00:07:42be doing me a solid.
00:07:44It's a long story
00:07:44about my aunt.
00:07:46She's really worried about me.
00:07:47She thinks I've given up
00:07:48on love or whatever.
00:07:50Have you?
00:07:52Well, that's not the point.
00:07:55Look, I just want to give her
00:07:56peace of mind.
00:07:56All you have to do
00:07:58is come over
00:07:59for one dinner,
00:08:00tell one little white lie,
00:08:02and that's it.
00:08:03You're not hurting anyone.
00:08:06Please.
00:08:07You'd be making
00:08:08a really wonderful woman
00:08:09very happy.
00:08:11She's like a second mother to me.
00:08:13I don't want to disappoint her.
00:08:15One dinner?
00:08:17One dinner.
00:08:18One dinner.
00:08:22Fine.
00:08:24Great.
00:08:24Am I interrupting something?
00:08:30Adam, um, no, this is, um,
00:08:33this is my neighbor, Jake.
00:08:34Yeah, he was, um,
00:08:36helping me with a spider.
00:08:37Babe, I told you a million times,
00:08:40just kill it.
00:08:41I don't...
00:08:42If you need help,
00:08:43you can call me.
00:08:45Right.
00:08:46Well, I should probably go.
00:08:50That's a good idea, Jake.
00:08:54I'll see you later, Numa.
00:09:20Hey, Taylor.
00:09:21Reynolds.
00:09:22I'm Reynolds today.
00:09:25Why so formal?
00:09:26I reviewed your closing numbers,
00:09:28and they're not where they should be.
00:09:29We need you getting through
00:09:30more cases per month.
00:09:31I'm working as fast as I can, boss.
00:09:34No.
00:09:35You're fixating all your time
00:09:37on this robbery case,
00:09:38and the chief told you
00:09:39to lay off it.
00:09:41It's not just one robbery case.
00:09:43There's a string of them,
00:09:44and I'm sure they're all connected.
00:09:46And proving that would make you
00:09:47feel like the big hero.
00:09:49It's not about my damn ego, Taylor.
00:09:50It's about justice.
00:09:51Well, I can't run a department
00:09:52that doesn't meet quota.
00:09:57Are you sure you're not
00:09:58singling me out
00:09:59for any particular reason?
00:10:01Excuse me?
00:10:02Are you implying something,
00:10:04Officer Reynolds?
00:10:05I'm not implying anything at all.
00:10:09That's what I thought.
00:10:10Now get back to work.
00:10:12Oh, my God, Jake.
00:10:30I am so sorry.
00:10:31You know, this building
00:10:32has gotten a lot more interesting
00:10:33since you moved in.
00:10:35Are you okay?
00:10:36I'm fine.
00:10:38Seriously, I'm fine.
00:10:38I can get the coffee out.
00:10:44Don't worry about me.
00:10:45No, please, please.
00:10:46Let me help.
00:10:47I'm really sorry.
00:10:48Just, uh...
00:10:49Yeah, come to my apartment.
00:10:50It'll just take a few minutes.
00:10:54Whatever you say.
00:10:55Okay.
00:10:56You know,
00:11:04I can just bring this
00:11:05over to you after
00:11:06if you want to, you know,
00:11:08get changed.
00:11:10And this is the magic you're working?
00:11:11I don't think so.
00:11:14It's just baking soda,
00:11:15white vinegar, and water.
00:11:17It works every time.
00:11:18You work at a dry cleaners
00:11:21or something?
00:11:23No.
00:11:25I work in a bookstore.
00:11:27You know the one down
00:11:27on Main Street?
00:11:29How do you like it?
00:11:31Um, it's not exactly my dream,
00:11:33but, uh, it's close, I guess.
00:11:36What's the dream?
00:11:38I just got my MLIS degree
00:11:40to be a librarian.
00:11:42I want to be an archivist.
00:11:44Research how to print
00:11:45children's books
00:11:46at a university library.
00:11:49Specific.
00:11:52How do you get a job like that?
00:11:54Uh, turns out it's not easy.
00:11:57Hence the bookstore.
00:12:03Well,
00:12:05if you ever change your mind
00:12:06about careers,
00:12:07you have an excellent future
00:12:08and stay in your mobile.
00:12:11You're flirting again.
00:12:14Can a friend compliment
00:12:15another friend?
00:12:18I think that's your door.
00:12:23Jake?
00:12:24Are you home?
00:12:26I should go.
00:12:31Thanks again.
00:12:32What are you doing here?
00:12:52Where were you?
00:12:54Why are you shirtless?
00:12:55Don't worry about it.
00:12:56What are you doing here?
00:12:57I wanted to apologize for earlier.
00:12:59I know you had a rough day,
00:13:00and, like I said,
00:13:02I can't keep you on that robbery case
00:13:03without the chief's permission,
00:13:05but maybe I can help
00:13:07take your mind off of it,
00:13:09you know?
00:13:09The way I used to.
00:13:13Taylor,
00:13:14we can't do this.
00:13:16Sure we can.
00:13:17We have.
00:13:19Many times.
00:13:20Nothing strange.
00:13:32We tried.
00:13:35You're not right for each other.
00:13:37I can't give you what you want.
00:13:39You don't want me?
00:13:41I don't know what I want, Taylor.
00:13:46I'll never do.
00:13:47You're an asshole.
00:13:51I'm just being honest.
00:13:52Those are not mutually exclusive traits.
00:13:54You know,
00:13:55you can't close yourself off forever, Jake.
00:13:58One of these days,
00:13:59you're going to wake up
00:13:59and realize just how lonely you are.
00:14:02Look, Taylor,
00:14:03I'm sorry.
00:14:04I really am.
00:14:06I hope we can still be professional
00:14:08about all this.
00:14:09Look, I know you don't want
00:14:11a relationship, Jake Reynolds,
00:14:12but I will be the girl
00:14:14that changes your mind.
00:14:15Just you watch.
00:14:33Hello, Mr. Saunders.
00:14:36Noel,
00:14:36I need you to dust
00:14:37the top of the bookshelves today.
00:14:39Yes, sir.
00:14:40What an excellent use
00:14:44of my time
00:14:45and talent.
00:15:00Hi.
00:15:02Sorry.
00:15:03I just meant to take my
00:15:04over shirt off.
00:15:06Um,
00:15:07would you mind putting me
00:15:08in the direction of...
00:15:09Health and fitness?
00:15:11Back right.
00:15:14I was actually looking
00:15:15for Toni Morrison,
00:15:16but, uh,
00:15:19it's good to know.
00:15:20I come off
00:15:20as totally insufferable.
00:15:22Oh, my God.
00:15:23I am so sorry.
00:15:24I assumed.
00:15:26Has anyone ever told you
00:15:27not to judge a book
00:15:28by its cover?
00:15:29Tony Morrison is right there.
00:15:36I appreciate it.
00:15:38I'll go this way.
00:15:39Oh, oh, sorry.
00:15:39Okay.
00:15:43Hey, what's up, babe?
00:15:45I got the book
00:15:46that you wanted.
00:15:48All right.
00:15:48All right.
00:15:48All right.
00:16:18Hey, sorry.
00:16:19I know you're at work,
00:16:20but, um,
00:16:21I just heard from
00:16:22the university.
00:16:23I'm sorry, Noel.
00:16:24I can't talk right now.
00:16:25I'm busy.
00:16:26Right, yeah.
00:16:27Um, okay,
00:16:28but maybe we could,
00:16:28like, get a drink
00:16:29after work or something.
00:16:31I think it's gonna be
00:16:32a late night.
00:16:33Ring check?
00:16:38My God.
00:16:39I'm definitely
00:16:40getting a drink.
00:16:43Whoa, fuck.
00:16:44Hey, what the hell?
00:16:55Oh, fuck.
00:16:57Bye.
00:16:57Okay.
00:16:58Okay.
00:17:06Seriously.
00:17:07Oh, God.
00:17:10Uh-oh, uh-oh.
00:17:19You're welcome.
00:17:22Why are you in my apartment?
00:17:32I'm trying to break in again.
00:17:34Actually, this is
00:17:35my apartment.
00:17:37Because I'm really tired.
00:17:38I cannot entertain right now.
00:17:40I know.
00:17:40We're gonna get you home.
00:17:41I am home.
00:17:43Not quite.
00:17:45Can I take it to your place?
00:17:46You smell good.
00:17:53Thanks.
00:17:55Come on, let's go.
00:17:56Oh, where are you going?
00:17:57Oh, I got you.
00:17:59Oh, my God.
00:18:01You're really strong.
00:18:03I'll try.
00:18:12Noelle, this is my apartment.
00:18:15Yeah.
00:18:15You can stay here tonight, though.
00:18:19My hero.
00:18:21Okay.
00:18:22Okay.
00:18:23Okay.
00:18:24Um.
00:18:26None of that.
00:18:27You don't want to kiss me?
00:18:29You don't like me?
00:18:33I do want to kiss you.
00:18:35Mm-hmm.
00:18:37But not right now.
00:18:39Why not?
00:18:41Well, because you're extremely drunk.
00:18:43And also, you have a boyfriend.
00:18:47I don't have a boyfriend.
00:18:50Boys don't boyfriend me.
00:18:53What about that guy I met?
00:18:54Good night, Abel.
00:18:55I don't know.
00:18:57Good night, Abel.
00:19:08Good night.
00:19:16With his arms
00:19:46Shhh
00:19:48Shhh
00:19:50Oh
00:19:52Oh
00:19:54Oh
00:19:56Oh
00:19:58Oh
00:20:00Oh
00:20:02Oh
00:20:04Oh
00:20:06Oh
00:20:08Oh
00:20:10Oh
00:20:12Oh
00:20:14Oh
00:20:16Oh
00:20:18Oh
00:20:20Oh
00:20:22Oh
00:20:24Oh
00:20:26Oh
00:20:28You've been really doing some great work. You should be proud. Keep it up.
00:20:34Damn it
00:20:36What's got you so worked up?
00:20:38Uh, nothing. It's nothing.
00:20:40Nothing. It's nothing.
00:20:42Seriously, Jake. That case wasn't assigned to you.
00:20:44There's another robbery on Main Street.
00:20:46They've got to be connected, Taylor.
00:20:50Let me take a look.
00:20:58Did you check for prints on that banister?
00:21:00No, just the front door.
00:21:02I mean, they might match the ones from last week.
00:21:04Good catch, Taylor.
00:21:06I'll get someone around the prints.
00:21:10I'll do it.
00:21:12You get back to your caseload.
00:21:15Is this punishment for the other night?
00:21:17Punishment?
00:21:18We'll be reporting you to the Chief.
00:21:20Now get back to work, Reynolds.
00:21:22You're assigned work.
00:21:24Who is it?
00:21:36It's me.
00:21:38Come on in.
00:21:40Um, hey.
00:21:42Hey.
00:21:43How are you feeling?
00:21:45Uh, so I'm just coming by to say that I'm sorry about last night.
00:21:51Don't worry about it.
00:21:53Um, yeah, I'm honestly not sure how I even got into your apartment.
00:21:57But, um, thank you for letting me sleep on your couch.
00:22:01Anytime.
00:22:02For the record, I did try to get you back to your own apartment.
00:22:05Oh, my God.
00:22:06That was a mess.
00:22:07You should have thrown me out.
00:22:09Actually, you were kind of cute.
00:22:15No.
00:22:16Oh, God.
00:22:17No way.
00:22:18No.
00:22:19So, you don't remember anything?
00:22:23No.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25God.
00:22:26Isn't that embarrassing?
00:22:28Okay, so, um, I'm gonna retreat to my apartment in shame now.
00:22:34What?
00:22:35Hey, I'm making burgers.
00:22:39Want one?
00:22:41Really?
00:22:42They're good hangover food.
00:22:49Mmm.
00:22:51Yeah, that's amazing.
00:22:54It tastes just like the ones my mom used to make when I was a kid.
00:22:57She a good cook?
00:22:59Yeah, she was.
00:23:00I'm sorry.
00:23:02Oh, it's okay.
00:23:04I mean, she passed about ten years ago, but before she got sick, she loved cooking.
00:23:10Burgers, yes, but she also made this pound cake and put this amazing fruit compote on it.
00:23:16Nah.
00:23:17I'm sorry.
00:23:18I tend to ramble, as you've probably noticed.
00:23:21I'm just impressed you can talk about all this.
00:23:24It was a long time ago.
00:23:28Took a while, but, um, no, I like talking about her.
00:23:33Makes me feel like she's still here.
00:23:40I, um, lost both of my parents as well.
00:23:44Both of them?
00:23:46Yeah, I don't talk about it much.
00:23:52You can tell me.
00:23:54If you want.
00:23:57It's, uh, kind of a heavy story.
00:24:04Hey, it's alright.
00:24:05Um, thanks for, thanks for cooking.
00:24:22In time.
00:24:24Um.
00:24:25Would your, um, would your pretty friend be okay with us having dinner?
00:24:34I didn't realize you met Taylor.
00:24:36Mm.
00:24:37Yeah, I know.
00:24:38I saw her in the hallway the other day.
00:24:40Um, she's beautiful.
00:24:42Yeah.
00:24:43Uh, she's your, is she your girlfriend?
00:24:45No, she isn't my girlfriend.
00:24:47Mm.
00:24:48We just work together.
00:24:49Mm, okay.
00:24:50Okay.
00:24:53We were friends with benefits.
00:24:57But, that was a long time ago.
00:25:06What about your guy friend?
00:25:09Oh, Adam?
00:25:11I gotta say, I don't love the way he speaks to you.
00:25:15Is he always so...
00:25:16Protective?
00:25:17I was gonna say, controlling.
00:25:20Especially for someone who isn't your boyfriend.
00:25:26Yeah.
00:25:27It's complicated.
00:25:34What was that?
00:25:40First pipe!
00:25:41Oh my god!
00:25:42Get some towels!
00:25:43Get some towels!
00:25:45Yeah, that was crazy.
00:25:46The super says there won't be water or power for like, at least a week.
00:25:49Maybe two.
00:25:51Geez, that sucks.
00:25:53Do you need a place to stay?
00:25:54Yeah, yeah, no, that would be great, Adam.
00:25:57A buddy of mine from work, he has a guest house.
00:25:58I'll give you his contact info.
00:26:02Right, right.
00:26:03Thanks.
00:26:04Of course, babe.
00:26:05I told you you could call me anytime you need help.
00:26:16I soaked up most of the water, but they're gonna need to completely rip out most of your plumbing.
00:26:21Can't get your break, huh?
00:26:24Do you have some place to go?
00:26:26Yeah, no, I'll figure it out.
00:26:27Um, don't, don't worry about me.
00:26:30I'm definitely gonna worry about you.
00:26:31You can't stay here.
00:26:32No, I'll be fine.
00:26:34Look, I don't wanna be weird, but I have a second bedroom.
00:26:39Do you wanna stay with me?
00:26:41Really?
00:26:44What are friends for?
00:26:45Here we are.
00:26:51I really hope I'm not imposing.
00:26:55Not at all.
00:26:57Seriously, make yourself a home.
00:26:58The place is all yours.
00:27:00Bathroom's right down the hall.
00:27:02Do you have everything you need?
00:27:07Yes, thank you.
00:27:11I can't believe you're coming to my rescue yet again.
00:27:15Oh, sorry. I thought you were sleeping.
00:27:41All good. You need anything?
00:27:42Oh, yeah, I just wanted a glass of water.
00:27:47Want a beer, dude?
00:27:50Eh, why not?
00:27:51What are you reading?
00:28:05Case files.
00:28:07It's been a string of burglaries.
00:28:08Hopper House.
00:28:10That's what we call it when a burglary happens when the home or business is occupied.
00:28:13This one actually happened at a clothing store on Main Street.
00:28:18Not too far away from where you work.
00:28:20Oh, jeez.
00:28:22I really wanna catch this guy before someone gets hurt.
00:28:25What are you gonna do if you catch him?
00:28:28In the act, I mean.
00:28:30In the act?
00:28:31Here, let me show you.
00:28:36Okay.
00:28:38If you're being attacked, the first thing you need to do is stay calm.
00:28:44Now, let's say your attacker has a gun.
00:28:50In that situation, you're gonna wanna do two things.
00:28:59First thing, just wait for an opening and then get them off balance.
00:29:04And then get them off balance.
00:29:09Good.
00:29:10That was really good.
00:29:11Yeah?
00:29:12Yeah.
00:29:13You're a quick learner.
00:29:15Oh, you're a good teacher.
00:29:19Sorry, I'm probably, um, crushing you.
00:29:22I don't mind.
00:29:26Right.
00:29:27Right.
00:29:28Mr. Complicator.
00:29:29Mr. Complicator.
00:29:35Yes, thank you for the lesson.
00:29:37It's good.
00:29:38Okay, weirdo.
00:29:41You want another beer?
00:29:43Oh.
00:29:45No, I'm pretty tired.
00:29:47I'm gonna go read a book in bed.
00:29:49Sure.
00:29:50Okay.
00:29:51Goodbye.
00:29:52Goodnight.
00:30:07Aunt Shelly, what are you doing here?
00:30:09I told you I'd pop by.
00:30:13You must be the girlfriend.
00:30:18That's me.
00:30:19Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.
00:30:21I thought my nephew was gonna be alone forever.
00:30:24All right, Aunt Shelly, let her breathe.
00:30:26Of course.
00:30:27Of course.
00:30:28Silly me.
00:30:30Please, Aunt Shelly, take a seat.
00:30:32Can I get you a cup of coffee?
00:30:33Yes, please do.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36Hopefully your lovely girlfriend's manners will rub off on you, young man.
00:30:39Believe me, I'm working on it.
00:30:41I like her already.
00:30:51So, Noelle, I want to know everything.
00:30:54What do you do, sweetie?
00:30:55Um, I work in a bookstore.
00:30:56Oh.
00:30:57Don't be modest, babe.
00:30:58She has her MLS degree.
00:31:00That's so impressive.
00:31:02I'm, uh, I'm looking for jobs at university libraries.
00:31:05I want to make a real contribution to my field.
00:31:07Ever since my favorite book went out of print when I was a kid,
00:31:10I've just been obsessed with researching and archiving.
00:31:13You don't have to explain it to me.
00:31:14Practically the whole family's in academia.
00:31:17You should have seen Jake's parents' library.
00:31:20It was enormous.
00:31:21Oh, what was the book called?
00:31:22The Runaway Sardine.
00:31:24I've been looking for it for a long time, but it's impossible to find.
00:31:27Oh, I love that book.
00:31:28I used to read it to Liam Oliver all the time when he was growing up.
00:31:32Oh, that's Jake's cousin.
00:31:34My son.
00:31:35You'll meet him at the wedding.
00:31:37Wedding.
00:31:39Jake!
00:31:40You didn't tell her about the wedding?
00:31:42Okay, well, this has been a very nice visit, but we have to go to work, so...
00:31:47Oh, of course.
00:31:48I'll see you after then.
00:31:49We can do dinner.
00:31:51What do you mean?
00:31:53Well, obviously I'm staying over.
00:31:55I came all this way.
00:31:56I'm going to stay a few nights with my nephew.
00:31:59Oh, don't worry.
00:32:00I won't crowd you, lovebirds.
00:32:01I lovebirds.
00:32:13This is fine, right?
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:17She needs the spare bedroom.
00:32:19So...
00:32:24We can make a bear here.
00:32:31Just a little...
00:32:33and...
00:32:37Great, yeah.
00:32:49So you think we convinced her?
00:32:55Yeah, definitely.
00:32:57Hey, lucky you.
00:32:58Didn't even have to kiss me.
00:33:00Wasn't so bad the last time.
00:33:02Last time?
00:33:06Uh...
00:33:07Yeah, it's just, um...
00:33:09Okay, I don't know how to tell you this.
00:33:12That night, you came over really drunk.
00:33:15You kind of...
00:33:16grabbed my face and kissed me.
00:33:18Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:33:19Only for a second, though.
00:33:20And then I pulled away.
00:33:21I didn't want to...
00:33:22take advantage of you.
00:33:23It sounds like I took advantage of you!
00:33:25No, it's totally fine.
00:33:27I'm so embarrassed.
00:33:29Hey.
00:33:30Don't be.
00:33:33I liked it.
00:33:35You did?
00:33:36One more time before you go.
00:33:39One more time before you go.
00:33:43Someday you'll know.
00:33:52Um...
00:33:54This is okay, right?
00:33:55No.
00:33:56No, um...
00:33:57No, it's not.
00:33:59Just hold on.
00:34:00Um...
00:34:02I really like you.
00:34:05It's...
00:34:06Um...
00:34:07No, no, um, no, stop.
00:34:17Just hold on, um, I really like you.
00:34:23It's, um, it's just that, no, I'm not rejecting you, I'm not.
00:34:29I like you a lot.
00:34:31You're smart, you're funny, and I'm really attracted to you.
00:34:35It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just,
00:34:37it's just that, uh, I got a lot of complicating going on right now,
00:34:42and I don't want to mislead you.
00:34:45So I just want to be clear, if you're looking for something casual,
00:34:49I'm your guy, but I can't give you anything else.
00:34:59Fuck.
00:35:03When does this always happen?
00:35:05What?
00:35:10Men like me enough to want to be with me, but never to commit to me.
00:35:13No, that's not it, I swear.
00:35:15Oh, let me guess.
00:35:16It's not you, it's me.
00:35:19Yeah, they always say that, too.
00:35:25Um.
00:35:28Good night, Jake.
00:35:29Detective Reynolds, I hate to admit it, but you might be right.
00:35:46What happened?
00:35:46There was another.
00:35:47There was another.
00:35:47There was another.