HOW NOT TO DATE YOUR NEIGHBOR Full Movie
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00:00:00See? I told you I looked better here, didn't I?
00:00:11Yeah, yeah, you're right.
00:00:13Of course I'm right. I know what's best for you, baby.
00:00:22Oh, that's work. Gotta go.
00:00:24Oh, okay.
00:00:26What?
00:00:28Oh, nothing. It's just...
00:00:31I thought you said you took the day off so you could help me move in.
00:00:34Well, you know if I don't work, then I don't get paid.
00:00:37And if I don't get paid, how am I supposed to afford those fancy dinners I take you out on?
00:00:41Right.
00:00:42Speaking of, as of next week, we'll have been dating a whole year.
00:00:48Maybe we could do something.
00:00:50Well, we've been going out on dates for about a year.
00:00:55That's what I said.
00:00:56Well, that's not exactly what you said.
00:00:58I mean, you're not looking for anything serious, right?
00:01:01What?
00:01:03Well, I mean, I'm trying to start my business and you're waiting on a phone call from the library.
00:01:09I think that we're good as is.
00:01:12I mean, we don't have to put a label on anything.
00:01:14Right, babe?
00:01:17Yeah, right. Yeah.
00:01:19Okay, well, I gotta go, so I will see you later.
00:01:22Adam!
00:01:23Oh, shit.
00:01:24Perfect.
00:01:25Wonderful.
00:01:27Uh-huh.
00:01:28Uh-huh.
00:01:29Uh-huh.
00:01:30Uh-huh.
00:01:31Uh-huh.
00:01:32Okay.
00:01:33Uh-huh.
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00:02:00ma'am i need you to stop what you're doing and put your hands in the air
00:02:07hands above your head what the hell ma'am if you don't cooperate i'm gonna be forced to grab you
00:02:13no no wait wait i'm not breaking in this is my apartment i live here
00:02:16strike three what are what are you doing oh my god
00:02:20i'm arresting you for breaking an entry oh my god this is my apartment you lunatic i live here
00:02:26do you have documentation to prove that yeah check my phone the lease is in my email
00:02:30all right we'll see about that email huh where do i look what do you mean it's right at the top
00:02:37huh well would you look at that yeah okay can you uncuff me now please
00:02:43for the record credit card works better
00:02:54welcome home who are you jake apartment d nice to meet your neighbor and you are
00:03:11noel pleasure noel well if you need a cup of sugar or a jail free card you know where to find me
00:03:20how about an apology for what protecting and serving that's kind of my job
00:03:26oh so your job is being an oppulsive asshole who goes around cuffing innocent people
00:03:31see you around neighbor
00:03:42you wish
00:03:43jerk who the hell does he think he is you're under arrest
00:03:55i live here
00:03:57hi i'm shelly
00:04:04jakey i'm so glad you answered yeah i just wanted to check in with you i miss you it's been so long
00:04:10i miss you too on shelly jake i i know these past few years have been hard for you but
00:04:15your parents wouldn't want you to live this way you're practically a recluse at this point
00:04:20i'm fine man shelly really how about i come by i can bring this lovely woman you need to meet
00:04:25she's the daughter of my friend from swim aerobics no uh don't do that i'm actually seeing someone
00:04:32you are yeah i didn't want to say anything didn't know if it was serious but she just moved in so
00:04:40uh no need to set me up oh well i can't wait to meet her i'll pop by sometime no don't do that she's uh shy
00:04:47nonsense
00:04:58i'm shelly i have to go
00:04:59what are you doing in here i heard screaming i thought you were in trouble
00:05:09well it's okay for you to break in but not me listen i only came to help but clearly you don't
00:05:14need me so i'll just leave wait no no no there's a spider
00:05:19uh is that what all the fuss was about yeah i just can't here i'll score them
00:05:32the spider now lives in a tree outside your window i thought you were gonna um thank you
00:05:55truce
00:05:55look i'm sorry about earlier honestly i thought you were trying to rob the place and my training
00:06:06kicked in
00:06:13yeah truce you were right though i was being an
00:06:17asshole usually when i'm cupping the innocent it's consensual
00:06:25you're cute when you're flustered i'm not i'm not flustered
00:06:34you sure about that
00:06:41um i'm seeing someone congratulations okay yeah so stop flirting me flirting i'm just being a friend
00:06:51oh we're friends now i would say so yeah i saved your ass twice in less than 24 hours
00:06:57oh my god whoever can i repay you you want a loan a kidney
00:07:01actually seriously that was a joke would you pretend to be my girlfriend what
00:07:10look um my aunt's coming to town and i might have accidentally told her i'm seeing someone
00:07:16and you're a complete stranger why would i do this but i'm not a stranger though i'm your neighbor
00:07:29you're friendly handsome charming charitable lock picking lock picking yeah
00:07:38look you would really be doing me a solid it's a long story about my aunt
00:07:45who's really worried about me she thinks i've given up on love or whatever have you
00:07:52well that's not the point look i just want to give her peace of mind all you have to do is come over
00:07:58for one dinner tell one little white lie and that's it you're not hurting anyone please
00:08:07you'd be making a really wonderful woman very happy she's like a second mother to me
00:08:13i don't want to disappoint her one dinner one dinner
00:08:22fine great
00:08:24am i interrupting something i don't know um no this is um this is my neighbor jake yeah he was um
00:08:36helping me with a spider babe i told you a million times just kill it
00:08:42if you need help you can call me right well i should probably go that's a good idea jake
00:08:54i'll see you later no more
00:09:08hey taylor reynolds
00:09:24reynolds today why so formal i reviewed your closing numbers and they're not where they should be we need
00:09:29you getting through more cases per month i'm working as fast as i can boss no you're fixating all your
00:09:36time on this robbery case and the chief told you to lay off it it's not just one robbery case there's
00:09:44a string of them and i'm sure they're all connected and proving that would make you feel like the big
00:09:48hero it's not about my damn ego taylor it's about justice well i can't run a department that doesn't
00:09:53meet quota are you sure you're not seeing me out for any particular reason excuse me are you implying
00:10:03something officer reynolds i'm not implying anything at all that's what i thought now get back to work
00:10:21oh my god jake i'm so sorry you know this building has gotten a lot more interesting since you moved
00:10:34in are you okay i'm fine seriously i'm fine
00:10:38um i can get the coffee out don't worry about no no please please let me help i'm i'm really sorry
00:10:48just uh yeah come to my apartment it'll just take a few minutes
00:10:51whatever you say you know i can just bring this over to you after if you want to you know get
00:11:08changed i miss the magic you're working i don't think so it's just baking soda white vinegar and water
00:11:16works every time you work at dry cleaners or something no i work in a bookstore you know the
00:11:27one down on main street how do you like it uh it's not exactly my dream but uh it's close i guess
00:11:36what's the dream i just got my mlis degree to be a librarian i want to be an archivist
00:11:43research out of print children's books at a university library specific
00:11:52how do you get a job like that turns out it's not easy hence the bookstore
00:12:03well if you ever change your mind about careers you have an excellent future and stay in your mobile
00:12:09you're flirting again can a friend compliment another friend
00:12:20i think that's your door
00:12:24are you home i should go
00:12:27what are you doing here where were you
00:12:54why are you shirtless don't worry about it what are you doing here i wanted to apologize for
00:12:58earlier i know you had a rough day and like i said i can't keep you on that robbery case without
00:13:04the chief's permission but maybe i can help take your mind off of it you know the way i used to
00:13:10teller we can't do this sure we can we have many times
00:13:29what are you doing here i can't give you what you want you don't want me i don't know what i want taylor
00:13:43you're an asshole i'm just being honest those are not mutually exclusive traits you know you can't
00:13:56close yourself off forever jake one of these days you're gonna wake up and realize just how lonely
00:14:01you are look taylor i'm sorry i really am i hope we can still be professional about all this look
00:14:10i know you don't want a relationship jake reynolds but i will be the girl that changes your mind just you
00:14:16just you watch
00:14:33hello mr saunders noel i need you to dust the top of the bookshelves today yes sir
00:14:40excellent use of my time and talent
00:15:00hi sorry i just meant to take my over shirt off um would you mind putting me in the direction of
00:15:09health and fitness back right i was actually looking for tony morrison
00:15:18but uh it's good to know i come off as totally insufferable oh my god i'm so sorry i i assumed
00:15:26has anyone ever told you not to judge a book by its cover
00:15:31uh uh tony morrison is right there thank you i appreciate it
00:15:36um i'll go this way oh sorry okay
00:15:43hey what's up babe i got the book that she wanted all right
00:15:57hello hey hey sorry i know you're at work but um i just heard from the university
00:16:22i'm sorry noel i can't talk right now i'm busy right yeah um okay but maybe we could like get a
00:16:29drink after work or something i think it's gonna be a late night brain check
00:16:34oh my god oh my god i'm definitely getting a drink
00:16:43oh
00:16:44oh
00:16:56oh
00:17:06seriously
00:17:07oh
00:17:09come on
00:17:11why are you in my apartment i'm trying to break in again actually this is my apartment because i'm
00:17:37really tired i'm really tired i cannot entertain right now i know we're gonna get you home i am home
00:17:43not quite
00:17:45can i take it to your place
00:17:51you smell good thanks come on let's go oh my gosh oh my god you're really strong i'll try
00:18:07noel this is my apartment
00:18:16you can stay here tonight though thank you my hero okay okay okay um none of that you don't want to kiss
00:18:28me you don't like me
00:18:30i do want to kiss you
00:18:37but not right now why not
00:18:41well because you're extremely drunk and also you have a boyfriend i don't have a boyfriend
00:18:50please don't boyfriend me what about that guy i met
00:19:00i don't want to kiss you
00:19:03we don't think about it
00:19:12goodnight hello
00:19:13we just fall into each other's arms
00:19:20oh
00:19:32oh
00:19:34oh
00:19:36oh
00:19:42oh
00:19:44I'm not going to die.
00:20:14You've been really doing some great work.
00:20:33You should be proud.
00:20:34Keep it up.
00:20:35Damn it.
00:20:38What's got you so worked up?
00:20:40Um, nothing.
00:20:41It's nothing.
00:20:42Seriously, Jake, that case wasn't assigned to you.
00:20:45There's another robbery on Main Street.
00:20:47They've got to be connected, Taylor.
00:20:51Let me take a look.
00:20:58Did you check for prints on that banister?
00:21:00No, just the front door.
00:21:02I mean, they might match the ones from last week.
00:21:05Good catch, Taylor.
00:21:07I'll get someone around the prints.
00:21:10I'll do it.
00:21:12You get back to your caseload.
00:21:15Is this punishment for the other night?
00:21:17Punishment?
00:21:18We'll be reporting you to the chief.
00:21:20Now get back to work, Reynolds.
00:21:22You're assigned work.
00:21:24Who is it?
00:21:37It's me.
00:21:38Come on in.
00:21:41Hey.
00:21:43Hey.
00:21:44How are you feeling?
00:21:44Uh, so I'm just coming by to say that, um, I'm sorry about last night.
00:21:52Don't worry about it.
00:21:54Um, yeah, I'm honestly not sure how I even got into your apartment, but, um, thank you for letting me sleep on your couch.
00:22:01Anytime.
00:22:02For the record, I did try to get you back to your own apartment.
00:22:06Oh, my God.
00:22:07That was a mess.
00:22:08You should have thrown me out.
00:22:11Actually, you were kind of cute.
00:22:16No.
00:22:17Oh, God.
00:22:18No way.
00:22:18No.
00:22:19So, you don't remember anything?
00:22:26No.
00:22:27No.
00:22:28God, isn't that embarrassing?
00:22:30Okay, so, um, I'm going to retreat to my apartment in shame now, but...
00:22:35Hey, I'm making burgers.
00:22:41Want one?
00:22:43Really?
00:22:45They're good hangover food.
00:22:51Mmm.
00:22:53Yeah, that's amazing.
00:22:55It tastes just like the ones my mom used to make when I was a kid.
00:22:59Is she a good cook?
00:23:00Yeah, she was.
00:23:02I'm sorry.
00:23:04Oh, it's okay.
00:23:06I mean, she passed about ten years ago, but...
00:23:08Before she got sick, she loved cooking.
00:23:11Burgers, yes, but...
00:23:12She also made this pound cake and put this amazing fruit compote on it.
00:23:16Nah.
00:23:18I'm sorry.
00:23:19I tend to ramble.
00:23:21As you've probably noticed.
00:23:22I'm just impressed you can talk about all this.
00:23:27It was a long time ago.
00:23:29Took a while, but, um...
00:23:32No, I like talking about her.
00:23:33It makes me feel like she's still here.
00:23:40I, um...
00:23:41Lost both of my parents as well.
00:23:45Both of them?
00:23:48Yeah, I don't talk about it much.
00:23:52You can tell me.
00:23:54If you want.
00:23:55It's, uh...
00:23:58It's, uh...
00:23:59Kind of, uh...
00:24:00A heavy story.
00:24:04Hey, it's all right.
00:24:05Um...
00:24:06Thanks for...
00:24:22Thanks for cooking.
00:24:24In time.
00:24:25Would your, um...
00:24:30Would your pretty friend be okay with us having dinner?
00:24:35I didn't realize you met Taylor.
00:24:37Mm.
00:24:38Yeah, I know.
00:24:39I saw her in the hallway the other day.
00:24:41Um...
00:24:41She's beautiful.
00:24:43Yeah.
00:24:44She's your...
00:24:45Is she your girlfriend?
00:24:47No, she isn't my girlfriend.
00:24:48We just work together.
00:24:50Mm.
00:24:50All right.
00:24:53We were...
00:24:55Friends with benefits.
00:24:58But...
00:24:59That was a long time ago.
00:25:06What about your...
00:25:08Guy friend?
00:25:10Oh, Adam?
00:25:12I gotta say, I don't love the way he speaks to you.
00:25:15Is he always so...
00:25:17Protective?
00:25:17I was gonna say, controlling.
00:25:21Especially for someone who...
00:25:22Isn't your boyfriend.
00:25:26Yeah.
00:25:27It's complicated.
00:25:34What was that?
00:25:41First pipe.
00:25:42Oh my god!
00:25:43Get some towels!
00:25:45Yeah, it was crazy.
00:25:47The super says there won't be water or power for, like, at least a week.
00:25:50Maybe two.
00:25:51Jeez.
00:25:52That sucks.
00:25:53Do you need a place to stay?
00:25:55Yeah.
00:25:55Yeah, no, that would be great, Adam.
00:25:57A buddy of mine from work, he has a guest house.
00:25:59I'll give you his contact info.
00:26:02Right, right.
00:26:03Thanks.
00:26:04Of course, babe.
00:26:05I told you you could call me anytime you need help.
00:26:07I soaked up most of the water, but they're gonna need to completely rip out most of your plumbing.
00:26:21Can't get your break, huh?
00:26:24Do you have some place to go?
00:26:27Yeah, no, I'll figure it out.
00:26:28Um, don't, don't worry about me.
00:26:30I'm definitely gonna worry about you.
00:26:31You can't stay here.
00:26:32No, no, I'll be fine.
00:26:34Look, I don't want to be weird, but I have a second bedroom.
00:26:39Do you want to stay with me?
00:26:42Really?
00:26:44What are friends for?
00:26:50Here we are.
00:26:51I really hope I'm not imposing.
00:26:56Not at all.
00:26:57Seriously, make yourself an elf.
00:26:58The place is all yours.
00:27:00Bathroom's right down the hall.
00:27:03Do you have everything you need?
00:27:07Yes.
00:27:11I can't believe you're coming to my rescue yet again.
00:27:13I can't believe you're coming to my rescue yet again.
00:27:21Can I go?
00:27:28Good, man.
00:27:29Good night, Jake.
00:27:39Oh, sorry.
00:27:40I thought you were sleeping.
00:27:41All good.
00:27:42Need anything?
00:27:43Oh, yeah, I just wanted a glass of water.
00:27:47Want a beer, too?
00:27:48Ah, why not?
00:28:04What are you reading?
00:28:06Case files.
00:28:07It's been a string of burglaries.
00:28:09Hopper House.
00:28:11That's what we call it when a burglary happens when the home or business is occupied.
00:28:15This one actually happened at a clothing store on Main Street.
00:28:19I'm not too far away from where you work.
00:28:20Oh, jeez.
00:28:22I really want to catch this guy before someone gets hurt.
00:28:26What are you going to do if you catch him?
00:28:29In the act, I mean.
00:28:31In the act?
00:28:32I don't know.
00:28:34Here, let me show you.
00:28:38Okay.
00:28:38If you're being attacked, the first thing you need to do is stay calm.
00:28:45Now, let's say your attacker has a gun.
00:28:52In that situation,
00:28:54you're going to want to do two things.
00:29:01First thing,
00:29:03wait for an opening,
00:29:04and then get them all balanced.
00:29:05Good.
00:29:06Good.
00:29:06That was really good.
00:29:11Yeah?
00:29:12Yeah.
00:29:13You're a quick learner.
00:29:15Oh, you're a good teacher.
00:29:20Sorry, I'm probably, um, crushing you.
00:29:22I don't mind.
00:29:26Right.
00:29:27Right.
00:29:29Mr. Complicator.
00:29:30Yes, thank you for the lesson.
00:29:37It's good.
00:29:38Okay, weirdo.
00:29:42You want another beer?
00:29:44Oh.
00:29:45No, I'm pretty tired.
00:29:47I'm going to go read a book in bed.
00:29:49Sure.
00:29:50Okay.
00:29:51Goodbye.
00:29:52Good night.
00:29:52Good night.
00:30:00Gigi.
00:30:07Aunt Shelly,
00:30:08what are you doing here?
00:30:09I told you I'd pop by.
00:30:13You must be the girlfriend.
00:30:18That's me.
00:30:19Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.
00:30:21I thought my nephew was going to be alone forever.
00:30:25All right, Aunt Shelly, let her breathe.
00:30:27Of course, of course.
00:30:28Silly me.
00:30:30Please, Aunt Shelly, take a seat.
00:30:32Can I get you a cup of coffee?
00:30:33Yes, please do.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36Hopefully, your lovely girlfriend's manners will rub off on you, young man.
00:30:39Believe me, I'm working on it.
00:30:41I like her already.
00:30:51So, Noelle, I want to know everything.
00:30:54What do you do, sweetie?
00:30:55I work in a bookstore.
00:30:57Don't be modest, babe.
00:30:59She has her MLS degree.
00:31:00That's so impressive.
00:31:02I'm looking for jobs at university libraries.
00:31:05I want to make a real contribution to my field.
00:31:08Ever since my favorite book went out of print when I was a kid, I've just been obsessed with
00:31:11researching and archiving.
00:31:13You don't have to explain it to me.
00:31:14Practically, the whole family's in academia.
00:31:16You should have seen Jake's parents' library.
00:31:20It was enormous.
00:31:21Oh, what was the book called?
00:31:23The Runaway Sardine.
00:31:24I've been looking for it for a long time, but it's impossible to find.
00:31:27Oh, I love that book.
00:31:29I used to read it to Liam Oliver all the time when he was growing up.
00:31:33Oh, that's Jake's cousin.
00:31:34My son.
00:31:35You'll meet him at the wedding.
00:31:37Wedding.
00:31:37Jake, you didn't tell her about the wedding?
00:31:42Okay, well, this has been a very nice visit, but we have to go to work, so...
00:31:47Oh, of course.
00:31:48I'll see you after then.
00:31:49We can do dinner.
00:31:50What do you mean?
00:31:53Well, obviously I'm staying over.
00:31:55I came all this way.
00:31:57I'm going to stay a few nights with my nephew.
00:31:59Oh, don't worry.
00:32:00I won't crowd you, lovebirds.
00:32:13This is fine, right?
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:16Uh, she needs the spare bedroom.
00:32:19So...
00:32:20We can make a barrier.
00:32:31So...
00:32:32Great.
00:32:37Yeah.
00:32:38So you think we convinced her?
00:32:55Yeah, definitely.
00:32:57Hey, lucky you.
00:32:58Didn't even have to kiss me.
00:33:00It wasn't so bad the last time.
00:33:02Last time?
00:33:06Uh, yeah, it's just, um...
00:33:09Okay, I don't know how to tell you this.
00:33:11Uh, that night you came over really drunk.
00:33:15You kind of grabbed my face and kissed me.
00:33:18Oh my God.
00:33:18Oh my God.
00:33:19Only for a second, though.
00:33:20And then I pulled away.
00:33:21I didn't want to take advantage of you.
00:33:24Sounds like I took advantage of you.
00:33:25No.
00:33:26No, it's totally fine.
00:33:28I'm so embarrassed.
00:33:29Hey.
00:33:31Don't be.
00:33:33I liked it.
00:33:35You did?
00:33:36One more time before you go.
00:33:44Someday you'll know.
00:33:52Um...
00:33:53It's okay, Rick.
00:33:55I really like you.
00:34:24It's, um...
00:34:25Oh my God.
00:34:25No, no, I'm not rejecting you.
00:34:27I'm not.
00:34:29I like you a lot.
00:34:31You're smart, you're funny, and...
00:34:33I'm really attracted to you.
00:34:35It's just...
00:34:37It's just that, uh...
00:34:39I got a lot of complicated going on right now.
00:34:42And I don't want to mislead you.
00:34:45So I just want to be clear.
00:34:47If you're looking for something casual,
00:34:49I'm your guy, but...
00:34:53I can't give you anything else.
00:34:55Fuck.
00:35:03Why does this always happen?
00:35:06What?
00:35:10Men like me enough to want to be with me,
00:35:12but never to commit to me.
00:35:13No, that's not it.
00:35:14I swear.
00:35:15Oh, let me guess.
00:35:16It's not you.
00:35:17It's me.
00:35:17Yeah, they always say that, too.
00:35:24Um...
00:35:25Good night, Gene.
00:35:29Detective Reynolds.
00:35:43I hate to admit it, but you might be right.
00:35:46What happened?
00:35:46There was another...
00:35:47There was another...