From catching COVID to running out of shows to watch, this special is full of riotously funny real-life stories you've come to expect from Gary Owen.
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Cincinnati's own, Gary Owens!
00:26I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:29I feel the same about myself.
00:34What's going on? You guys heard any good gossip?
00:37What is going on?
00:39Ding!
00:42Going, I'm sure you guys have heard, I'm going through a very, very messy and public divorce.
00:48Thought it was going to be private, wife had other plans.
00:54It's what it is, what are you going to do? I ain't the first one to get a divorce.
00:57But listen, of course the next hour I'm obviously going to talk about my divorce.
01:01I can't get into it like I want to, we're still in court going over stuff.
01:04But can defuse a few rumors.
01:08No white women were involved in my divorce.
01:12No.
01:14I am still on the squad.
01:16I think I'm the only white guy in the world that if black people saw him with a white lady, they'd be like,
01:29that fucking sellout!
01:32I knew it, I knew he wasn't shit!
01:36Why?
01:38What's the problem?
01:40You with that white woman?
01:42What?
01:43I'm trying something different.
01:45Like, the thing about my divorce, like, I read everything.
01:52I read everything on the internet.
01:53I don't respond to anything, but I read everything.
01:56You know, I'll just, let me see a couple of things that I read about my divorce.
02:00One, I read that my ex wants $44,000 a month in alimony.
02:07Yeah, that's what I said, damn!
02:09Like, when I first saw $44,000, I didn't read the article.
02:15I thought that was for the year.
02:17Like, I literally, I called my lawyer, I said, settle!
02:21She's like, Gary, that's a month.
02:24I said, ooh, we going to court!
02:28So, so listen, at times during the day, and at times when I'm on stage, my mind might go blank.
02:35I did not forget my jokes.
02:37When you got $44,000 a month riding on your divorce, you go blank every now and then,
02:41and it pops in your head!
02:42Faux, faux, baby!
02:43Faux, faux!
02:44It just pops up.
02:45What else did I read?
02:54I read, I read I'm a deadbeat dad.
02:57Yeah, even though my kids are grown.
03:00Like, you know, you can't be a deadbeat to adults.
03:06Like, I don't, listen man, I've been taking L's on the internet for months, right?
03:12I don't, I don't respond to anything, you know?
03:14The only time I, um, the only time I responded was, uh, I was just in a mood one day, and
03:19Eva Marcel's got a podcast.
03:21And when my divorce got announced on TMZ, they was on it.
03:24All the blogs, everybody was on it.
03:26And, uh, Eva Marcel, she's got this co-host.
03:28And the co-host was like, I don't know, this is news.
03:30He ain't no real celebrity.
03:31I don't know who he is.
03:33I seen him on Instagram a few times, that's it.
03:35And I was like, man, what's her problem?
03:36Then, then the $44,000 a month came out.
03:41And then she was like, oh, he ain't got cake like that.
03:43Ain't no way he got cake like that.
03:45He gonna be broke after a week.
03:46All I heard was cake.
03:48So I DM'd her.
03:49I said, bakery, bitch.
03:50Stay in my pocket.
03:51What the fuck do you mean?
03:55You know how much money I make?
03:57Fuck it, man.
03:59So, so she blocked me, but she saw it.
04:02She saw it.
04:04Fuck, you worried about $44,000?
04:07That's more listeners than you guys.
04:11Shut the fuck up.
04:17It's funny because all the things I've read on the internet,
04:20ain't nobody got it right yet while we're getting a divorce.
04:22Ain't nobody.
04:23And I ain't gonna say nothing.
04:24I'm gonna keep it to myself.
04:25But if, man, if that twist ever comes out, it's a monster.
04:29It's, it's, it's one of those twists that, that when black people hear it,
04:34they go, oh, I told you.
04:38That kind of twist.
04:42But, okay, so let's think, let's use common sense in my divorce.
04:45Use common sense.
04:46So I'm so, so evidently, I'm this wild motherfucker, man.
04:48I'm just, I've been fucking everything.
04:50Like, I be reading up like, damn, that motherfucker be fucking.
04:52Wait, that's me.
04:53What the fuck?
04:54But it's been seven months since my divorce got announced,
05:03and in seven months, not one picture has popped up
05:06of me doing anything appropriate on the internet.
05:08Not one video has come out of me doing anything appropriate on the internet.
05:11Internet finds everything out.
05:13It's seven months, not one picture of one video has come out.
05:16Come on now.
05:17Internet finds everything out.
05:18Ask Urban Meyer.
05:19Ask Urban Meyer.
05:22That motherfucker slapped the girl's ass at 10, at 10.30.
05:25It was on SportsCenter.
05:26He watched himself.
05:27He was still at the bar.
05:29Oh, shit.
05:30That's me.
05:31Get the fuck off me, bitch.
05:35I got to go.
05:36So this, I mean, let's use common sense, right?
05:50In seven months, if ain't no pictures, no videos popped up
05:53of me doing something inappropriate.
05:55I mean, come on now.
05:56It's common sense.
05:57What does that tell you?
05:58Tells you my side hoes are loyal.
06:00God damn it.
06:01I called it.
06:02Talked about it.
06:03Ain't none of your fucking business.
06:05I ain't fucking with these Instagram hoes.
06:10My ladies are on LinkedIn.
06:12You got to have a W2 to get this dick.
06:19Shit.
06:20Shit.
06:21I need you to have something to lose too, baby girl.
06:26I ain't fucking with these Instagram hoes.
06:31Talking about my hair game crazy.
06:34Your hair game.
06:35You in a two bedroom apartment with three roommates.
06:38If you got crazy hair game, you can get your own apartment.
06:41I'll tell you that.
06:42Crazy hair game will get you a studio.
06:44I heard.
06:45Talking about your head game crazy.
06:46Your rent's $800 a month.
06:47You splitting it four ways.
06:48Your head game is $200 a month.
06:49That's what it is.
06:50That's $3.75 a day.
06:52These are jokes.
06:53I'm kidding.
06:54All this shit's fake.
06:55Don't be taking this shit literal.
06:57I don't know.
06:58Think about a divorce though.
06:59When you go through a public divorce.
07:00I don't know.
07:01Think about a divorce though.
07:02When you go through a public divorce.
07:03Man, I just woke up one day.
07:04Man, my shit was everywhere.
07:05Shit was on TMZ.
07:06I don't know.
07:07Think about a divorce though.
07:08When you go through a public divorce.
07:09Man, I just woke up one day.
07:10Man, my shit was everywhere.
07:13Shit was on TMZ.
07:30B.E.T.
07:32Shit was on A.O.L.
07:34I said, damn.
07:35My shit's on dial-up.
07:36Shit.
07:37Man.
07:38Shit.
07:39Couldn't even get to Google yet.
07:41AOL got it first.
07:42Woo!
07:48When divorce got announced,
07:50I told you I'd disappear for two months.
07:52I was one, I was avoiding a process server.
07:55You know, them motherfuckers
07:56are sneaky, boy.
07:58They almost got me one time.
08:00The process server almost got me.
08:01I was in Colorado Springs
08:03and I was at a comedy club
08:05and at the comedy club, there was an alley behind it.
08:07So I was walking down the alley
08:08and all of a sudden this dude goes,
08:10Hey, Gary!
08:11And I turned
08:12and the motherfucker was pulling the papers
08:14out of his pocket.
08:15I turned into Morris Chestnut from Boys in the Hood.
08:22This motherfucker chased me
08:24and threw the papers at me.
08:26Dude, I went down like Morris.
08:28Ah!
08:35I got back to my dress room
08:37and then reality set in.
08:38I was like, damn, I almost got served.
08:41That's when I turned into Cuba Gooding.
08:42I was like, what the fuck?
08:43I always took a lot of personal pride
09:04in keeping all my personal business off the internet
09:08because everybody in this room
09:09got shit you're going through, you know?
09:10And we all got those people
09:12that they want to put all their business out there
09:15every day on Facebook and Instagram.
09:17And they always start their posts out like this.
09:18Now y'all know me.
09:20You know I ain't like this.
09:22Now y'all know I don't like
09:23putting my personal business out there.
09:24I go, no, you put all your business out there.
09:26That's why I follow you.
09:27I go to your page
09:29and feel better about my life, right?
09:30So I think that's what bothered me the most
09:35about everything being so public
09:36is all my personal business is coming out there.
09:39So, because even like we're coming out
09:40of the pandemic right now, you know?
09:42And I was one of the first people to catch COVID,
09:44you know?
09:45I was out the box.
09:46We didn't really know what it was.
09:47And I tested positive for COVID.
09:49I never felt the need
09:51to go to Facebook or Instagram
09:53and say, pray for me.
09:55I just tested positive for the coronavirus.
10:00I need everybody to call
10:01on all your prayer warriors.
10:03I need...
10:05I need...
10:10I need all the prayer warriors
10:13to come down from heaven
10:14and surround my immune system
10:15where are my prayer warriors.
10:18What the...
10:19What the fuck is a prayer warrior?
10:23What is that?
10:25Like, is there really a bunch of angels
10:31up in heaven
10:34putting on their war paint
10:36sharpening their knives?
10:40You get up to heaven, you're like,
10:42dang!
10:44Heaven is nice.
10:45This is beautiful.
10:47This is just how I thought heaven would be.
10:48This is amazing.
10:50This is...
10:50Ooh.
10:53Who's that?
10:54Oh, those are the prayer warriors.
10:58Yeah, you don't talk to them.
10:59They stay on their own class.
11:02They only come down to heaven
11:03when people get on Facebook
11:04and ask them to protect their immune systems
11:05when they catch the coronavirus.
11:07And you ain't gonna get your prayer warriors.
11:09You're getting somebody else's prayer warriors.
11:10Be careful who you're friends with.
11:12I don't know if anybody here has caught COVID, man,
11:22but when you catch it,
11:23it's a weird feeling, man.
11:23It's odd.
11:24Because when I caught it,
11:25I knew I had it.
11:26I had all the symptoms.
11:26All of them, you know?
11:28And it's weird
11:29because you'd be in denial
11:29until you test positive.
11:31Because, you know,
11:31I was just lying to myself.
11:32I was making up diseases
11:34because I didn't want to believe I had it.
11:35I just woke up one morning
11:38and I felt different.
11:41Because I was like,
11:42ooh, ooh, oh, oh, no, oh, shit, oh, fuck.
11:52I might have scoliosis.
11:57I think that scoliosis kicked in from sixth grade.
12:01I took the brace off earlier.
12:02I've been slouching.
12:03I got to sit up better.
12:05I'm going to get something to eat.
12:09I'll feel better when I eat something.
12:11So I was by myself.
12:13I'm sorry, I went to the pantry,
12:14got some oatmeal out.
12:15We had that quick oatmeal variety pack.
12:18You know, it's in a box.
12:19It's got nine packs of oatmeal.
12:21It's three packs of apple cinnamon.
12:23Three packs of maple brown sugar.
12:25Then the three packs that nobody eats
12:27in the middle of the plain shit.
12:30That's the biggest hustle in the oatmeal game, ain't it?
12:32Hang yourself nine packs of oatmeal.
12:34Only six packs of flavor.
12:34So I got the apple cinnamon out, you know,
12:39took it out, opened it up,
12:40put some water in it through the microwave,
12:41heated it up, took it out, stirred it up.
12:43I go, okay, okay.
12:45I'm going to feel way better
12:46after I eat this delicious apple cinnamon oatmeal.
12:51I must have opened up the wrong pack.
13:13So I checked the pantry.
13:18I said, no, that's his apple cinnamon.
13:22Then I started blaming Quaker.
13:23These stupid motherfuckers
13:24put plain oatmeal in an apple cinnamon pack.
13:29Then I tried the maple brown sugar.
13:31I couldn't taste that.
13:31I said, damn, I might have that shit.
13:34Went to the doctor, got tested,
13:36came back positive.
13:37You know, then I started making all my phone calls.
13:39I was a damn super spreader.
13:41You know, everybody caught it.
13:42I came in contact with.
13:43I was getting phone calls for three days straight.
13:45Motherfucka, I got it.
13:47Motherfucka, I got it.
13:50I mean, honestly, what do you say?
13:53Sorry.
13:54I still felt bad.
14:03I felt bad making my phone calls for the virus.
14:06I felt bad.
14:08I did.
14:10I can't imagine what Magic Johnson
14:12must have felt like making his phone calls back in the day.
14:14That must have been.
14:19What?
14:21Too soon?
14:24He's fine.
14:27He's still alive.
14:31Looking back,
14:31now that we're slowly coming out of the pandemic,
14:33I hope we're out of it.
14:34I've gotten all the vaccinations.
14:36I got Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer, and Moderna.
14:37I was like, fuck it.
14:39I can't keep up with what's right and what's wrong.
14:41I got them all.
14:43I feel good.
14:45Shit, I might turn into venom next week.
14:47I don't know.
14:49Right now, I feel good.
14:50But I'm glad I caught it early, man.
14:56Because the whole pandemic,
14:57I was able to watch the news and not be afraid.
14:59Because the news made us all feel like we would die
15:02immediately if we caught it.
15:04And it was crazy.
15:05It was three symptoms.
15:06No taste, no smell, death.
15:08I'm like, damn.
15:10It's a fucking hell of a window.
15:11But I was able to watch the news no problem the whole time.
15:16News never scared me.
15:17I'd be sitting there and be very careful.
15:19Wear your mask.
15:20Cases are on the rise.
15:21Over 500,000 people have died.
15:24I was like, well, I made it.
15:27They should have had better prayer warriors.
15:29Because my prayer warriors protected me.
15:43That's the thing about dying anyway.
15:45It's like, I'm not afraid of dying.
15:47I'm not.
15:47I don't want to die.
15:48I'm enjoying life.
15:48I mean, the last couple months have been a little touch and go.
15:52Like, overall, I'm not afraid of dying.
15:54Like, you know, I don't know.
15:55Just let it happen.
15:56I mean, I know I'm going to heaven.
15:58I know it.
15:59Facts.
16:04But I think everybody's in heaven.
16:07I think everybody in this room is going to die one day.
16:08And we all go into heaven.
16:10Because I have never been to a funeral where somebody's going to hell.
16:16Anybody?
16:19Who the fuck's there?
16:22I ain't been to one funeral where the preacher was just brutally on.
16:27Be honest with the family.
16:31Just get something in front of the church.
16:38Wow.
16:39This is going to be tough.
16:43First of all, I want to thank everybody for coming.
16:48Won't be charging the family for today's service.
16:50You did the best you could.
16:53But that free will will sneak up on you sometimes.
16:58So we got an open cask today.
17:01We got an open casket.
17:02We're going to say our last goodbyes to Jerry.
17:03If you'd like to see Jerry one last time, please, single file to the left.
17:06Come on up.
17:07Pay your respects.
17:08Exit to the right.
17:09Once everybody pays the respects, we're going to close the casket.
17:12We're going to get in the cars.
17:13We're going to head to the cemetery.
17:14Once we get to the cemetery, we're going to lower that casket six feet.
17:17But Jerry's going to keep on going.
17:18So if you would like to speak to Jerry from this day forward, please don't look up in
17:27the sky and talk to him down to the ground.
17:29Amen forever.
17:35How about this?
17:36How about you ever go to a funeral and you never knew your homeboy got saved?
17:41Like his grandmother gets in front of the church.
17:45I'm at peace with him passing.
17:50Because I know he's in the arms of Jesus.
17:53He gave his life to Christ.
17:59And you be in the church like, hey, when that motherfucker meet Jesus?
18:08I was with him Saturday.
18:09He ain't no Jesus on Saturday.
18:10I know that.
18:12Now we had a good time, but he ain't no Jesus on Saturday.
18:17Yeah.
18:18Hey, hey, what day did he die?
18:21Tuesday.
18:21He died on Tuesday.
18:22Oh, okay.
18:24So he must have met Jesus on Sunday or Monday then.
18:27That's crazy.
18:28Look at God.
18:29Won't he do it?
18:29He knew he was coming home and introduced himself.
18:33Man, always on time, man.
18:35Always on time.
18:37He barely made that one.
18:38That was like a last second field going to heaven right there.
18:40He barely made that one.
18:41I used to do a joke a long time ago about, like, how long black church is on Sundays, but, man, I've been to quite a few black funerals in my life.
18:52Neck and neck with Sunday service.
18:54Man, I've been to some black funerals.
18:57I started looking around like, he ain't coming back.
18:59At some point, we got to move on with our own lives, too.
19:04I'll be honest with you.
19:06I'm a friend of a friend's.
19:07I barely knew this guy, man.
19:09We're going on four hours.
19:11This is the longest me and him's ever hung out at one time.
19:15I'm learning a lot about him.
19:16He seemed like a nice guy.
19:17I didn't know he was the core hall champion in college.
19:21That's crazy.
19:28Yeah, it just popped up.
19:29You saw that?
19:32Damn, that's fucked up.
19:34You saw it in my face.
19:40You fucking saw it in my face.
19:47That was a good one, man.
19:52I'll tell you what, though.
19:52I've talked to various family members.
19:55Like, I said, there's things I want done, things I don't want done when I pass away.
19:59Like, I don't want nobody showing up to my funeral with me on a T-shirt.
20:04I don't know if you've seen these T-shirts of funerals, but it's got clouds and birds and angels on it.
20:14At the bottom of the T-shirt, you're going to have the day I was born, when the day I died.
20:20Then right in the middle of the T-shirt, you're going to have a picture of me, smiling.
20:25Like, I'm happy I'm dead.
20:30At least put an accurate picture.
20:35Fuck, I got to die first, man.
20:36The only reason I say, I get it, it's a sign of respect, and somehow people show their, you know, how they're mourning.
20:45But the only reason I don't want a T-shirt at my funeral is because, you know, because what happens when the funeral's over?
20:51Then you take the T-shirt off, throw it in the hamper.
20:53Next thing I know, your dirty drawers is on my face, you disrespectful motherfuckers.
20:59Fellas, you might invite one of your lady friends over one night.
21:01She's got skills you didn't know she had.
21:04You finish early on your stomach.
21:07I'm the nearest T-shirt, now you're wiping your shit on my face.
21:11They may put me on a hoodie, respect the game.
21:15Ain't nobody ever wipe they shit off on a hoodie.
21:19They may just grab the hoodie.
21:20Man, it's going to be 45 degrees.
21:21Come on, I can grab that hoodie.
21:22You're going to wear that.
21:24You just shove your ass to the bathroom.
21:27Hey, where's your washcloth?
21:28I ain't trying to get none on the carpet.
21:32Hold on.
21:34I told you I was backed up.
21:43I looked down in the audience during that joke and it looks like some of you didn't get it.
21:50Listen, if you're confused and you don't know what kind of T-shirt I'm talking about,
21:54after the show tonight, go home, pop on an episode of First 48.
21:58And at the end of it, they'll do an update of the deceased six months later.
22:02And the family will be in a park.
22:05And they'll have the T-shirts on, setting off balloons.
22:13First way to bring the cameras out, they'll start interviewing various family members.
22:17First, like an on, I'll get in front of the camera.
22:21I mess them.
22:22I mess them.
22:30I still talk to him, though.
22:32I still talk to him.
22:35He was going to start welding school on Monday before he passed.
22:38He always wanted to be a welder.
22:39He was the best welder in the 11th grade at his vocational school.
22:43He was waiting.
22:47Dude's knee still doing an original poem.
22:53I miss my uncle.
22:54He wasn't so sweet.
22:56I want to talk to him.
22:57I can't because he's six foot D.
22:59Like, it's weird how you can say you like watching the First 48.
23:13Here's my biggest issue with the First 48, right?
23:16It's like, there's only a few shows on TV I never want to be on.
23:19I never want to be on the First 48.
23:21I never want to be on to catch a predator.
23:23Nope.
23:23I used to say three shows.
23:27I used to say cheaters, but I'm going to let that slide right now.
23:33Jokes, motherfuckers, jokes.
23:39No, uh, First 48, this is my issue with the First 48.
23:43They never air one episode at a time.
23:46Why does it got to be eight episodes in a row?
23:48And then, and then, it's so crazy because if you happen to catch a show from the beginning,
23:52you can't turn it off.
23:53You get so emotionally invested in that murder, you really want to catch the criminal, you
23:59know, and they always show the murder about 30 minutes in.
24:02He pops up on that little computer, you know, at the detective's office, and they bring him
24:07in, and then you know he's lying when he starts repeating everything the detective asked him.
24:14So let me tell you, where were you at three o'clock?
24:17Three o'clock?
24:17Three o'clock?
24:22You know Charles?
24:25Charles!
24:28I don't know no Charles.
24:30Then they show him a picture.
24:31Oh, that's Charlie!
24:32No, you said Charles.
24:34That's Charlie.
24:34That ain't Charles.
24:35That's Charlie.
24:36Why would I kill Charlie?
24:37I know Charlie for 15 years.
24:38Why would I kill Charlie?
24:39then it then he gets convicted and the episode ends and he's shuffling off to the cop car all
24:46shackled up and literally you're in your home watching tv going whoo man i feel safe
24:53i got a murderer off the street i can go to miami i can go to miami now
24:57so you feel safe like miami there's one less murderer on the street but here's the first
25:0348 they don't even give you a second to like come down off the murder in miami
25:08they don't even go to commercial they're like fuck miami it's go straight to a new murder
25:12tulsa 958 p.m shots ring out in a walmart parking lot michael is shot he dies on the way to the
25:24hospital michael is 21 years old and aspiring musician with 11 children
25:29damn mike should have spent more time at the studio shit i would have been at walmart getting pampers
25:39first 48 be in cincinnati sometimes too i've been seeing that shit
25:47yeah they ain't been here a while i don't know what happened
25:52since i ain't since i ain't got some areas man fuck it's weird now man because the the bad areas
26:01are half bad
26:02you you go down vine you be cool and all of a sudden you're like what the fuck
26:09i was just at a coffee shop how the fuck i get in this neighborhood
26:17there's no fucking neighborhoods in cincinnati boy
26:30the cincinnati zoo be killing me
26:34because we got one of the nicest zoos in the country but that neighborhood around it
26:38them animals ain't escaping the cincinnati zoo
26:42i would i would love to see a lion escape the zoo
26:49fuck this
26:52all the lions i thought you left
27:00motherfuckers it's a jungle out there
27:05some of them neighborhoods in cincinnati they'll be looking at that lion what the fucking lion doing around here
27:16don't even faze these motherfuckers
27:28fucking lion bro
27:31so them addicts are trying to get some shit off the lion
27:37you ain't changed
27:39that's a lion
27:41how high are you
27:43shit the fuck up
27:45that ain't no lion
27:46you a
27:48hey you a lion
27:49you a lion
27:50you a lion
27:52they say you a lion
27:53you a lion
27:53right
28:01right
28:02that motherfucker ain't no lion
28:05That's the shit, man
28:20That's the only people that ask me
28:24What I've been doing
28:25Because I've been kind of laying low lately
28:26Watching a lot of Netflix
28:29A lot of Netflix, man
28:30Fuck
28:30I watched so much Netflix the last six months
28:34Netflix stopped giving me suggestions
28:37Fuck it, man
28:39You watched everything
28:40And like, you know
28:43Netflix was cool, but
28:44I liked some of the original programming
28:46I liked, like, the Squid Game was good
28:49And then I watched that show Made
28:51That was good
28:52I liked that show Made
28:53Because they lived in a trailer and they broke up
28:55I was like, ooh
28:55I can relate to this shit
29:01The documentaries would be fucking me up on Netflix
29:05So, them documentaries
29:06I'd be like, where'd he be finding this shit?
29:09I watched that Jeffrey Epstein
29:10That documentary
29:11That dude was wildin'
29:13Even R. Kelly was like
29:15You're doing too much, bro
29:16Slow down, seriously
29:17I took the girl to Chicago
29:20This motherfucker got an island
29:21I was like, levels
29:23I watched, uh
29:28Man, I watched that Aaron Hernandez documentary
29:31Man, that dude was wildin'
29:33That dude was killin' people
29:34Suckin' dick
29:35And catchin' touchdowns
29:37In the same weekend
29:37I ain't ever had a weekend that wild
29:41He got me beat
29:44Aaron Hernandez did three things
29:48In three days
29:48I have never done
29:49I've never killed nobody
29:51I've never sucked a dick
29:52And I have never caught a touchdown
29:53I got nothin' in common with that dude
29:56Here's my biggest issue with Netflix
30:02I don't like it
30:03That Netflix
30:05They don't give accurate descriptions
30:07Of a lot of the programs
30:08So you'll watch something
30:10Think you're watching
30:10And it'll be
30:11It'll be about totally something else
30:12That you didn't see coming
30:13Like you had no business watching
30:14Cause one day I was searching through Netflix
30:16And, uh
30:17I saw this documentary
30:19Called Abducted in Plain Sight
30:21Right
30:22Some of you have seen it
30:23Some of you haven't
30:24Well this is what Netflix says it's about
30:26Netflix said
30:27See
30:28How a young family moves to Utah
30:30And their oldest daughter
30:31Gets kidnapped
30:31Not once
30:32But twice
30:33By the same next door neighbor
30:34I'm like
30:35How the fuck's that happen?
30:37Watch that
30:38I turn it on
30:38So
30:41This is what it's really about
30:44This is what it's really about
30:45It's a husband
30:46Wife
30:46Three daughters
30:47They move to Utah
30:48They move right next door
30:50To this guy and his wife
30:51So the next door neighbor dude
30:53Takes a liking
30:54To the oldest daughter
30:55So he ends up
30:57Fucking the dad
30:58Then he kidnaps the daughter
31:00Notice what I just said right there
31:03The dad fucked the dad
31:06You gotta put that in the description
31:08Hey, leave that shit out
31:11That changed the whole goddamn documentary
31:13For me personally
31:14Gets worse
31:18So the dad
31:21Fucks the dad
31:23Kidnaps the daughter
31:24Then they catch him with the daughter
31:25He says
31:26Yeah, yeah
31:26Go ahead and turn me in
31:27Go ahead and press charges
31:29If you do
31:29I'm telling everybody
31:31Your dad's a homosexual
31:32Family don't want that shit getting out
31:33They don't press charges
31:34So he gets to move
31:36Right next door again
31:37Then he ends up
31:39Fucking the mom
31:40Then he kidnaps the daughter
31:43Again
31:43And the whole time
31:45I'm watching this shit
31:46I'm going
31:46God damn it
31:47I know black people are going
31:51That's some white people shit right there
31:52That would never happen
31:55In no black family
31:56Fuck you
32:00That's Utah white
32:01That's a different type of white
32:02I'm not taking that L
32:03From a whole race on that one
32:04What makes the documentary
32:08Even more disturbing
32:10Is the dad
32:11Is the narrator
32:12And ain't somebody else
32:13Telling the story
32:14Now the dad's going into detail
32:15How he fucked a neighbor dude
32:16And listen
32:18You don't see this twist coming at all
32:20Because the documentary
32:20Is about an hour and a half long
32:21It's about 30 minutes in
32:23Before this twist happens
32:23So at 30 minutes in
32:24It's moving along
32:25Like a regular kidnapping documentary
32:27So at this point
32:28I'm not really paying attention
32:29I'm on my phone
32:30I'm texting people
32:30I'm more listening than watching
32:31Right
32:32And all of a sudden
32:33The dad
32:34In the middle of the TV
32:35On his recliner
32:36And he starts talking
32:37Well
32:39So Bill
32:42Came over
32:43And
32:45He asked me
32:46Go for a ride
32:47In his
32:48In his car
32:50So I got in his car
32:53And we went for a ride
32:55And he stopped
32:59Near a park
33:01And he proceeded
33:04And he proceeded to tell me
33:05He's no longer happy
33:07In his marriage
33:09And him and his wife
33:11Are no longer intimate
33:13And I looked over
33:16And his penis was out
33:18And he said to me
33:22I just need a release
33:25I just need a release
33:28So I leaned over
33:34And I released him
33:36And I'm on my phone like
33:40The fuck he just said
33:42Now I'm rewinding this shit
33:45I can't turn it off
33:47It's a fucking train wreck
33:48At this point
33:49So I watched the whole
33:51God damn documentary
33:52And as soon as it's over
33:53Netflix starts suggesting
33:54All this new shit
33:55For me to watch
33:56Gary
33:57By your viewing history
33:58You might want to watch
33:58Brokeback Mountain
33:59You might want to check out
34:02The Crying Game
34:03Cincinnati's funny
34:12Every time I walk around
34:13Downtown Cincinnati
34:13Every time I walk around
34:14Downtown
34:15Cincinnati's definitely
34:17A city I am
34:19Black famous in
34:20Downtown
34:20Because I tell you
34:22Every time I walk around
34:23Downtown during the day
34:24I don't ever stop
34:24Any white people
34:25Ever
34:25Ever
34:26I can stop
34:27Every black person
34:27No fuck
34:28Sometimes black people
34:30Stop me even if
34:31They don't know my name
34:32They just so they
34:33See me on something
34:33Because I'll be walking
34:37I'll see three brothers
34:37Coming this way
34:38And I can see the wheels
34:39Fucking turning
34:40As I get closer
34:40And they be like
34:42Oh shit
34:43That's no boy
34:45That's no boy right there
34:49That's no boy
34:49And then a friend
34:51Will come up
34:51Oh that is him
34:52That's him
34:54He's from the arm
34:56He's from the arm
34:58Yup, yup
35:01That's him
35:02I have never
35:07I've never been on a show
35:08Called the Yep
35:09By the way
35:09And sometimes
35:11If I look back
35:11Like black people
35:12Look at me like
35:13I'm not supposed
35:13To look back at them
35:14Don't look back here
35:15You know you, you
35:16Motherfucker walk around
35:21The city like
35:22You ain't you
35:22Yeah, it's you
35:23It's you
35:24He acting like
35:26He ain't him
35:27I tell you what
35:35I like being black famous
35:36So I do
35:36I like it
35:37Because I travel
35:38I'm in a different city
35:39Every week
35:39And I love it
35:41Like when I get to cities
35:42And I see
35:43I see black people
35:44In customer service jobs
35:46So if I'm at the airport
35:47I like it when black people
35:47Working at Delta United
35:48When I get to a hotel
35:49I love it when black people
35:51Are at the front desk
35:52Because what I've learned
35:53Through my travels
35:54Is when black people
35:55Know you
35:55And they like you
35:56Man
35:57Black people
35:58Will hook you up
36:00They
36:01They don't give a fuck
36:08About the rules
36:09White people
36:12We're not like that
36:13We're just not
36:14We want to help you
36:15But we can't
36:16Company policy
36:17But we do
36:18I can't
36:20Cameras
36:21I was thinking about
36:36All the free shit
36:37I've gotten in my life
36:39Being black famous
36:39Right
36:40I've gotten free clothes
36:41Free shoes
36:42Food
36:43Liquor
36:43Gotten into places
36:44I shouldn't be in
36:45You know
36:46I remember
36:47It's a true story
36:48But it was about
36:49Like five
36:50Five or six years ago
36:51So I was going
36:52To the Bengals game
36:53And I walk around
36:53Trying to look for the gate
36:55I'm getting in right
36:55So I'm sitting there
36:56And all of a sudden
36:57I'm looking up
36:57And all of a sudden
36:58There's one black
36:58There was a security guard
36:59I was like
36:59Hey what's up G
37:00You in town
37:01You got to show us something
37:01I said no
37:02I'm just going to the game
37:02He goes you got tickets
37:03Yeah yeah yeah
37:04I show him the tickets
37:05Come on walk in
37:06Motherfucker walked me in
37:0715 minutes later
37:08We on the sidelines
37:09Pre-game
37:09I said damn
37:10This motherfucker got me on the field
37:11So we just
37:19We sitting there
37:20Bullshit about life
37:21And all of a sudden
37:22He goes
37:23Gee I'll be right back
37:24I'm going to do something
37:24Just stay right here
37:25You're good
37:25It's my area
37:25I said alright
37:26I'm sitting there
37:27Now I got no lanyard
37:28I got no credentials
37:29All of a sudden
37:30A white security guard
37:31Comes from here
37:31Hey where's your credentials
37:32And now I didn't want
37:33Snitch on old boy
37:34I don't have anything
37:36Why'd you get down here
37:38I go
37:38I just walk
37:39So now he's trying
37:44To kick me out of the stadium
37:45Why did another
37:46Black security guard
37:47Come from the other side
37:48Of the field
37:48Gee just come down here
37:49Okay
37:50I'm bullshitting
37:55With this dude
37:56He's upset
37:58With a white dude
37:58This motherfucker man
37:59Motherfucker been here
38:01Five years
38:01I've been here since
38:02Ken Anderson
38:02Was here
38:03Motherfucker
38:03Ken Anderson
38:04Been here 45 years
38:05This motherfucker
38:05Been here five
38:06And he's trying to run shit
38:07Gary I got this
38:08From the 30 to the end zone
38:09That's my shit
38:09This motherfucker
38:09Got 10 yards
38:10He's trying to run
38:10The whole goddamn field
38:11I'm just agreeing with him
38:14He do seem like
38:15He do too much
38:16He did
38:16Even when we got in town
38:23Like we flew in
38:24We flew in like
38:25Three days ago
38:26For the special
38:27We got in early
38:28And I had a bunch of
38:29My boys were in town
38:30So we went to Avis
38:31When we landed
38:32To get a rented car
38:33And we got to Avis
38:34It was two white ladies
38:36And one black
38:37They were working at Avis
38:37So we get in line
38:39And literally
38:40I waited
38:40For the black ladies
38:42Counter to open up
38:42At Avis
38:43You know
38:43Like it was my turn to go
38:45The white lady goes next
38:46I go go ahead man
38:47Go ahead
38:47Go ahead
38:48Go ahead
38:49I'm gonna wait
38:49Go ahead
38:50Go ahead
38:50As soon as that
38:53Black ladies counter
38:54Opened up
38:54I was walking up
38:55Like come on
38:55Please recognize me
38:56Please recognize me
38:57So I got there
38:58She knew where I was
38:59She goes
38:59Oh hey Gary
39:00What you doing at 10
39:02You back home
39:03For a couple days
39:03Yeah no I got a show
39:04I'm filming my showtime
39:05Special out here
39:06Oh okay okay
39:07I might have to check that out
39:08Okay
39:08Well let me see
39:09We got you in real quick
39:11What the fuck
39:16Economy
39:17I can't have you
39:20Right around my city
39:21In that bullshit
39:21I don't know
39:27What the fuck
39:28She start typing
39:29All's I know
39:29We got to Escalade
39:30For $34 right now
39:32So
39:32Thank you black lady
39:38At Avis
39:38Hell yes
39:43She got free tickets
39:44She's in here somewhere
39:45You take care of me
39:56I take care of you
39:57Trust
39:57But it was funny
40:00Because I didn't know
40:01What she was typing
40:01She was typing away
40:02And then she hit me
40:03With the keys
40:04That's when I looked
40:04At the new contract
40:05And that's when I saw
40:06Escalade
40:08Four days
40:08$34
40:09Not a day
40:11Total
40:12$34
40:13It's like $8.75 a day
40:16So when I saw that
40:20I grabbed my road manager
40:21I said
40:21Yo man
40:22Leave her tickets
40:22Any show she wants to go to
40:23Leave her tickets
40:23Just let her go
40:24Come on
40:24So he's like
40:25Alright
40:25So now when she realized
40:27I was going to leave her tickets
40:28To the show
40:29Now she wants to do
40:30More shit for me
40:30As if
40:31The $34 wasn't enough
40:33So now I'm walking
40:35To the escalator
40:35And she started yelling
40:36At me
40:37Garry
40:37Garry
40:40Don't worry about
40:42That gas either
40:43Okay
40:46I ain't put no gas
40:52In that motherfucker
40:53Oh it's going to come back
40:55On empty
40:56Trust and believe
40:57It's going to come back
40:58On empty
40:58If I got to push
41:00That motherfucker
41:00Myself
41:01I think that was her
41:08I think that was her
41:08I see you
41:12Thank you
41:13You got to figure out
41:16Things man
41:17A lot of life changes
41:18Going on right now
41:19I got to figure out
41:20I know
41:20I know eventually
41:22They'll be calling me
41:22Trying to get all these
41:23Talk shows and stuff
41:23I've been saying no
41:24The whole time
41:25I don't want to talk
41:26About it right now
41:26But if I ever do
41:28Make a statement
41:28I got to figure out
41:31Who I'm going to blame
41:31Because it ain't going to be me
41:35So
41:35I think at this point
41:38I might go with Bill Cosby
41:39At this point
41:40Because
41:40If you kind of think about it
41:43In a roundabout way
41:44It's kind of Bill Cosby's fault too
41:46Because
41:46Before Bill Cosby got in trouble
41:48With his scandal
41:49You never heard of a comedian
41:50In any kind of sex scandal
41:52It was like
41:52Athletes and rappers
41:53Had all the scandals
41:54And comedians
41:54We were over here
41:55Nobody fucked with us
41:56Because we were kidding
41:56What'd you say?
41:59I was just kidding
42:00One day I will say
42:04About Bill Cosby though
42:05He definitely had a type
42:06Didn't he?
42:07Man
42:07Man he liked white women
42:08Woo
42:09It's snowing
42:10He's going baby
42:11I think at one point
42:17I read
42:18One day in the courtroom
42:19I think there was like
42:1932 women
42:21Was accusing him of stuff
42:22And I think at one point
42:23It was all in the courtroom
42:24It was like
42:2432 white ladies
42:25In the courtroom
42:25Accusing Bill Cosby of stuff
42:27And like
42:28It wasn't just the public
42:29Was shocked by that stuff
42:30It was like
42:31Comedians
42:31We were shocked
42:32Because I was like
42:32One of our own
42:32We was like
42:33Man this is crazy man
42:34Rudy's dad
42:35I remember one
42:40I had a bunch of his
42:41Comics in the green room
42:41Talking
42:42And for some reason
42:43The conversation
42:43Shifted to me
42:44And some of us
42:45Like Gary
42:46What if that was you?
42:47What if he was Bill Cosby?
42:47How would you get out of it?
42:48I said well
42:49First of all
42:50I'll never be in that situation
42:51Second of all
42:52If you're telling me
42:53I'm in the courtroom
42:54I got 32 white ladies
42:55Staring at me
42:56Saying I did something to them
42:57I don't need a lawyer
42:58I can defend myself
42:59Against those accusations
43:00Sitting on the street
43:02Just looking at me
43:03How do you plead Mr. Owen?
43:05Not guilty
43:06Well you said that
43:08With a lot of confidence
43:08How can you be 100% sure?
43:10I know I'm not guilty honor
43:11Because I ain't had white pussy
43:13Since white pussy had me
43:15The last white pussy I had
43:19Was my mama's
43:21And I have never been
43:23In another white pussy since
43:24I had to fight
43:26And crawl my way out there
43:28Pussy and I barely made it
43:29And once my head
43:31Was finally free
43:33And I could see and breathe
43:35I'm on for the first time
43:36I took one last look back
43:39And I said to my baby self
43:40Never again
43:41I think I suffered from
43:50White pussy PTSD
43:51Even my daddy left her
43:55Everybody leaves that
43:58White pussy on her
43:59I'm kidding
44:00I'm kidding
44:01These are jokes
44:04I'm sure my mom
44:07Has amazing pussy
44:08She got seven kids
44:13Multiple baby daddies
44:16I dang want to say
44:18My mom got that wop
44:19Shit
44:20You ain't got all them
44:24Baby daddies
44:25You ain't got that wop
44:26First time I heard that song
44:30I called my mom
44:31I said mom
44:32They wrote a song about you
44:33She said what is it?
44:36I said someone
44:37Send it to your phone
44:37I sent it to your phone
44:40She called me back
44:41How'd they know?
44:41Streets of talking mom
44:45She was a wild one boy
44:51But you know
44:53My mom was wild back in the day
44:54I knew she was wild
44:55But it was like
44:56My mom and dad
44:58They had me in high school
44:59They were young
45:00They were teenagers
45:01Neither of them really
45:03Wanted to be parents
45:04It was like
45:06As soon as I came out
45:07My dad went that way
45:08My mom went that way
45:09I was like
45:09Hey
45:10One of you motherfuckers
45:11Want to raise me?
45:21It's odd when your parents
45:23Ain't shit
45:23You know like
45:24And for different reasons
45:26You know
45:26Neither of them was
45:27They just didn't want to be parents
45:29What are you going to do?
45:29You know
45:29That's why I don't ever understand
45:31When I see dudes get drafted
45:32In the NBA
45:33Or the NFL
45:34And the first thing they do
45:35I'm going to buy my mom a house
45:36I go for what?
45:39That's stupid
45:40What the fuck
45:41She ever do for you?
45:44No Gary
45:44Most moms are cool
45:46I don't believe that shit
45:48Cause I remember growing up
45:51I would see kids going to school
45:52And they had lunch boxes
45:53And lunches was in it
45:54I'm thinking they made it
45:56I said
45:56Diane
45:56How you make that
45:57Bologna and cheese sandwich
45:57Like that?
45:59My mom did that
46:00Motherfucker
46:01For real
46:02You telling me
46:06Your mom got up early
46:07Before you went to school
46:09Made you breakfast
46:09And lunch
46:10Get the fuck out of here
46:12Ain't no mom doing that shit
46:13I never saw my mom
46:17Before I went to school
46:18Ever
46:18Cause when I was
46:20Man
46:20When I was seven though
46:22Seven years old
46:22That's the year
46:23You start to really remember shit
46:25You know
46:25Everything before seven
46:26Is kind of like a TV
46:27Going on and off
46:27When I was seven
46:29Man
46:29That's when
46:30I was in second grade
46:31And that's when my mom
46:32Was in the pocket
46:33Like she had a nice little
46:34Rotation going
46:35That age man
46:36Cause she was like
46:3723, 24
46:37You know
46:38She was single
46:39We had no other kids
46:40Wasn't married yet
46:41You know
46:42And then
46:42We didn't move to the trailer yet
46:44So me and her
46:44Had a little
46:45We had a little
46:47One bedroom apartment
46:48Downtown Cincinnati
46:49And my mom
46:50Slept in the bedroom every night
46:51I slept on the couch
46:52So my bedtime was 9 o'clock
46:53So every night
46:54When I went to bed
46:54It was always just me and my mom
46:55But when I woke up
46:57A friend
46:59Had come over
47:00When I was sleeping
47:01And that's how
47:02I got to school
47:03In second grade
47:04Was my mom's friends
47:05Cause my mom
47:07Had to be at work
47:07At 5 a.m
47:08I didn't go to school
47:09Till 8 a.m
47:10So I guess
47:10I was part of the deal
47:11You can come over
47:14But you gotta take Gary
47:15To school the next day
47:16So when I was in second grade
47:18Kids in my school
47:19Thought I was ballin
47:20Cause I was getting
47:22Dropped off
47:22In a different car
47:23Every day
47:23Monday I'll be in a Ford
47:26F-150
47:27Tuesday I'm in a Honda Accord
47:29Wednesday I'm in an Acura
47:30Kids in my school
47:31Was like
47:31Dang Gary
47:32How many cars you got?
47:35I don't know
47:35I just getting them
47:36To come to school
47:36I don't know
47:37It's mine though
47:37Life was good
47:40You know
47:40I didn't know any different
47:41I thought it was cool
47:42It was cool to have guys
47:43To talk to on their way
47:43To school
47:43Then leave it to the 6th graders
47:46To fuck my life up
47:47At recess one day
47:48I'm having a good day
47:49On the playground
47:50All of a sudden
47:50Like 3, 4, 6th graders
47:51Just hand me up
47:52Hey Gary
47:53Gary
47:54Hey you know those guys
47:56Bring you to school right?
47:57Yeah
47:58They my mom's friends
47:59No
48:01They doing it to her
48:03They do it to your mom
48:11And then they bring you to school
48:13No they don't
48:15My mom don't do it
48:16She never done it
48:17They do it to your mom
48:24And then they bring you to school
48:26No they don't
48:28My mom don't do it
48:29She never done it
48:30I asked her
48:30Your mom don't do it
48:34How you think you got here?
48:38Prayer Williams brought me down
48:39To guess
48:40Then leave it to my best friend
48:48Chris to pull me aside
48:49When we came in from recess
48:50Tell me the truth about my mom
48:51I knew he wasn't lying
48:53I said hey Gary
48:54Come here listen
48:55Okay
48:55The 6th graders ain't lying
48:57Your mom's doing it
48:58To those guys
48:58It don't make her
49:01A bad mom though
49:02She making sure
49:02She get to school every day
49:03That's a good mom
49:04Some moms don't care
49:06How their kids get to school
49:07But your mom
49:07Makes you to school every day
49:08That's a good mom
49:09But don't get it twisted
49:10She's doing it
49:11To those guys
49:11So she be doing it to them
49:23She told me
49:25She never done it
49:26She be doing it to them
49:26Yeah
49:27It don't make her
49:30A bad mom though
49:31You ever wake up
49:33And nobody's there
49:33To take you to school
49:34A couple times
49:35Because they ain't do it
49:36So they left
49:38I was fucked up
49:41At recess for like a week
49:43Now I didn't want to talk
49:46To the guys
49:47No more
49:47Taking me to school
49:48Because I knew
49:49They was doing it
49:49To my mom
49:50So we'd be on the way
49:52To school
49:52I'd just be me
49:53Mugging them
49:53The whole drive
49:54And I thought about it
50:04And I was like
50:04Fuck this shit
50:05I'm gonna start
50:05Asking for shit
50:06You just ain't gonna
50:07Do it to my mom
50:08And I don't get
50:09Nothing out of the deal
50:09So we'd be on
50:12The way to school
50:12Hey can we stop
50:13McDonald's
50:14I'm really hungry
50:15Can we stop
50:16McDonald's
50:17I ain't got time
50:17Little man
50:18I'm running late
50:18I ain't got time
50:19To start McDonald's
50:20Well you're time
50:21To let my mom
50:21Suck your dick
50:22Last night right
50:22Alright let's stop
50:25Real quick
50:26Fuck you
50:27I'm gonna get me
50:28And McGriddle
50:28Yeah
50:35Fridays was the worst
50:37Because two guys
50:39Would drop me off
50:39They never had a problem
50:49Stopping at McDonald's
50:50Though
50:50Them motherfuckers
50:50We stop McDonald's
50:52Fuck yeah
50:53We're starving too
50:53At least I will say
51:02This about my mom
51:03She always tried
51:03To hide it
51:04She never tried
51:05To like
51:06Like
51:06Tell me
51:08What she was doing
51:08With these guys
51:08She waited
51:09Till I went to bed
51:10And she came up
51:11With all these reasons
51:12Why the guys
51:12Was coming over
51:13You know
51:14I was like
51:14Dang our stove
51:16Goes out a lot
51:17My dad though
51:22Oh my god
51:22Like my mom
51:23Like we had
51:24We had a little apartment
51:25But it was nice
51:26It was cool
51:26It was tiny
51:26It was nice
51:27My dad
51:27Whenever I go over
51:28His place
51:29That was a shithole
51:30Man
51:30It was one bedroom
51:33He didn't have any
51:34Front door
51:34He had a screen
51:35Had the little
51:36Hook glass on it
51:38I'd stay all night
51:39He'd be in the bedroom
51:40I'd be on the couch
51:40He'd be like
51:40Gary lock the front door
51:42Dink
51:42I don't think
51:46It's gonna stop
51:46Any crime dad
51:47Then he was just
51:51Having girls
51:52Come over
51:52All times of the day
51:54You know
51:54You dad here
51:55You dad here
51:56And I would hear them
51:57It's weird
51:58Like I heard
51:59You know
51:59He's seven, eight
52:00You'd be hearing
52:01These panting noises
52:02I don't know
52:02What they was doing
52:03In there
52:03I didn't know
52:04What they were doing
52:04But it was like
52:05I knew my dad's
52:06Stroke game
52:06By the panting
52:08It was like
52:09I was like
52:16Damn
52:16For some reason
52:17That fourth stroke
52:18My dad went deep
52:19I guess it was
52:22A sign of things to come
52:24Fofo baby
52:24Fofo
52:25I am trying to make
52:29Some changes in my life
52:30One thing you ain't gonna see
52:33You ain't gonna see
52:34Me on Dr. Phil
52:35Or Yonda Van Zandt
52:36Trying to fix my life
52:38I'm just trying to
52:38Work on myself
52:39I've been doing
52:42Other stuff
52:43Since the divorce
52:44I've been
52:44Eating
52:45I eat a lot more pussy
52:47I gotta
52:50You know
52:51You gotta take
52:51Accountability
52:52For your part
52:53In things
52:54And I just wasn't
52:56Into eating pussy
52:56Last couple years
52:58Of my marriage
52:58It's totally my fault
52:59She did nothing wrong
53:01It's all me
53:02I just
53:02I don't know what happened
53:03I just
53:04You know
53:05She'd be like
53:05Come on
53:06Eat my pussy
53:07You know
53:10The marriage might be over
53:11When you gotta
53:12Take a deep breath
53:12I was lazy
53:18I was a lazy
53:19Pussy eater
53:19Ladies
53:19I gotta
53:21Take accountability
53:22I just
53:23Wasn't putting no effort
53:24Just sticking out my tongue
53:26But now
53:48I'm doing better
53:49I'm getting my head
53:51Into it again
53:52Holding legs up
53:59I didn't know you
53:59Was this tall
54:00Working on some new
54:06Pussy moves
54:07You know
54:08You'd be practicing
54:09In the mirror
54:09So I got
54:11I got a couple
54:11I've been working on
54:12Got this
54:14Got this one
54:14Pussy move
54:15I call it
54:17The strobe light
54:18Strobe light that pussy
54:23Strobe light that pussy
54:27Gonna get him boy
54:33I tell you
54:41I tell you
54:41I've already made a decision
54:42What I'm not gonna do
54:45Anymore
54:45I am no longer
54:46Eating pussy
54:47To slow music
54:48Nope
54:49Those days are over
54:50Cause I figure
54:52If you put on slow music
54:53And you're eating pussy
54:54To music
54:55You're probably gonna eat
54:55Pussy slow
54:56Why do that?
54:58Just put on some fast shit
54:59Some fast pussy music
55:02I'm making a pussy
55:04Mixtape right now
55:05I am
55:07Making a pussy mixtape
55:08So when I bring my girl
55:09Over to my house
55:10Well
55:11I don't have a house right now
55:12But I will again one day
55:13Fuck you
55:14I'm gonna have a house again
55:16Shut the fuck up
55:17I'm gonna give me a house
55:17I'm gonna have an amazing
55:19Sound system in my house
55:20So when my girl comes over
55:22I'm gonna put on
55:24My pussy mixtape
55:25It's gonna be all fast
55:28Pussy music
55:29I'm gonna put on
55:30Some heavy D
55:31Pussy music
55:33Put on some early 90s
55:37JJ fads
55:38Supersonic
55:39Yeah
55:42Anything about Busta Rhymes
55:45Every day I gotta go
55:46I wanna eat
55:46Gotta eat
55:46And I gotta know
55:48And I gotta go
55:48And I gotta give me some more
55:49Okay I can't eat
55:52Pussy the Twister though
55:53That's too fast
55:54Damn
55:54If I broke my neck
55:56One night eating pussy
55:56That motherfucker
55:57Where the fuck is the
56:01Jamie Foxx part
56:01I need a rest
56:04Next all stiff
56:11Not putting on slow music
56:17And eating pussy
56:18Fuck I'm gonna look like
56:21What am I gonna do
56:22Is I gonna put on Maxwell
56:24Slow-ass Maxwell
56:25Just down there
56:27Pray God you can't call
56:50Girl just sitting there
56:52What the fuck
56:53Is with the pause breaks
56:54Just ate my pussy
56:56Motherfucker
56:57Now this party's over
57:05Now she's leaving all upset
57:10I gotta make her feel good
57:13On the way out
57:13I know you got a little light
57:18In your lap
57:19I know you got a lot
57:22Now I look
57:25I'm back in my house
57:26All by myself
57:27Should be crying
57:29But I just can't
57:31Let it go baby
57:34Should be hoping
57:39But I can't stop
57:41And I start thinking
57:46About my divorce again
57:47Make it go
57:50Make it go away
57:55Then I realize
57:59There's other women out there
58:00I can still eat their pussies
58:01Give me
58:03I gotta get out
58:06Thanks for coming to see me
58:07I appreciate y'all
58:07Thank you
58:20I don't know
58:47Ask Lisa
58:50I don't know