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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Hey, Swinger.
00:00:30Ah, ah, ah, actual evidence tends to show, the swinger was the one invented, go, go, go.
00:00:36So leave your old routine and make the scene, baby, come and swear me.
00:00:42A swinger only lives the good life, the kind comes to very few.
00:00:47Well, and if a swinger hasn't done it, it's cause there's too much trouble to do.
00:00:53Ah, ah, ah, verified circumstance tends to say, the swinger was the one invented.
00:00:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, if I can be your guest, I'll do the rest.
00:01:04Baby, let it swing over here.
00:01:06Come on along, let's put the world on.
00:01:09Come on along, let's make it move.
00:01:12Come on along, let's get with it.
00:01:15Forget that old conventional proof.
00:01:18We'll see the way it's happening, how many actions are gonna be.
00:01:24Well, and if there is a good thing, shit, you don't find it naturally.
00:01:30Ah, ah, ah, only experience shows you how.
00:01:34The swinger was the one and then it was the wild.
00:01:37So leave your old routine and make the scene, baby, come and swear me.
00:01:42Loud, baby, come and swear me.
00:01:45Yeah, baby, come and swear me.
00:01:50Oh, swear me.
00:01:53Come on and swear me.
00:01:57Come on and swear me.
00:02:00Oh, swear me.
00:02:03Oh, swear me.
00:02:07Oh, swear me.
00:02:12Oh, swear me.
00:02:42Oh, swear me.
00:02:43Oh, swear me.
00:02:44Oh, swear me.
00:02:45Oh, swear me.
00:02:46Oh, swear me.
00:02:47Oh, swear me.
00:02:48Oh, swear me.
00:02:49Oh, swear me.
00:02:50Oh, swear me.
00:02:51Oh, swear me.
00:02:52Oh, swear me.
00:02:53Oh, swear me.
00:02:54Oh, swear me.
00:02:55Oh, swear me.
00:02:56Oh, swear me.
00:02:57Oh, swear me.
00:02:59Oh, swear me.
00:03:00Oh, swear me.
00:03:01Oh, swear me.
00:03:02Oh, swear me.
00:03:03Oh, swear me.
00:03:04Oh, swear me.
00:03:05Oh, swear me.
00:03:06Oh, swear me.
00:03:07Oh, swear me.
00:03:08Oh, swear me.
00:03:09Oh, swear me.
00:03:10Oh, swear me.
00:03:11Oh, swear me.
00:04:42Arms outstretched to the weary traveler, L.A. is known as the friendly city, always welcoming
00:04:50its guests into her generous bosom.
00:04:53This area is truly the shopping center of the world.
00:04:59Our citizens are avid readers, a labyrinth of learning.
00:05:04Educational institutes abound to bring erudition, knowledge, and culture.
00:05:09Los Angeles is noted for its epicurean splendor.
00:05:17To please the most selective gourmet.
00:05:23Excuse me.
00:05:25Los Angeles, California.
00:05:27The movie capital of the world.
00:05:29Only here are we allowed to witness the great classics in their purest cinematic art form.
00:05:37Always cultural, always educational.
00:05:41A land of enchantment.
00:05:44The seat of solid government.
00:05:47The citadel of culture, a labyrinth of learning.
00:05:50The citadel of knowledge, always onward to bring erudition, information, skill, and culture.
00:05:57Always cultural, always educational.
00:06:03Ah, oh, here I am now, Sir Hubert here, arriving at my place of worship.
00:06:09Oops.
00:06:10Oh, capital idea of mine to have opened an office on the west coast.
00:06:15Gold lure magazine, owner and publisher.
00:06:17Yes, sex is bound to become as big a thing out here as it is in New York.
00:06:23After all, they're catching up on everything.
00:06:26I know, I know.
00:06:27It's been said that Sir Hubert here has a dirty mind.
00:06:30Well, I just can't help it.
00:06:41You're welcome, madam.
00:06:42We are now entering the veritable nerve center of my operations.
00:06:48From here radiates Sir Hubert's contribution.
00:06:53Oh, absolutely charming.
00:06:56Charming.
00:06:58Boom-ba-dum-boom.
00:06:59Oh, I say I do love my work.
00:07:02Whoops.
00:07:03Good morning.
00:07:06This, of course, is my sanctum sanctorum.
00:07:09And Sir Hubert here is ready for another day of toil.
00:07:11Ah, my senior editor's office, Richard Colby.
00:07:15Just in from New York to supervise a layout for our year-end edition.
00:07:19Whoops.
00:07:20That's my daughter, Karen.
00:07:23No, the one on the left.
00:07:28Oh, good morning, Father.
00:07:30Morning, Sir Hubert.
00:07:31Oh, I've got the Four Seasons layout.
00:07:34Thought you might want to look at the dummy.
00:07:36Rather.
00:07:37I like it.
00:07:38Less obvious than what we've been doing.
00:07:39A little more tasteful.
00:07:40A bit tame, don't you think?
00:07:42No, I don't think so.
00:07:43Sir Hubert, we still have to get it through the mails.
00:07:46You know, even for a girly magazine, there's such a thing as good taste.
00:07:49My dear fella, one seldom gets rich from being wholesome, you know.
00:07:53Well, you've got the touch, Sir Hubert.
00:07:54You're one of the most unwholesome men around.
00:07:57Thanks very much.
00:07:58That's very kind of you.
00:07:58But I can't take all the credit.
00:08:00It's the English in me, you know.
00:08:01Yes, we've just had years and years to cultivate our depravity.
00:08:06I'm afraid it'll be decades before you Americans catch up.
00:08:08And with your help, I'm sure we'll make it so.
00:08:10Oh, do you really think so?
00:08:11Thanks, ma'am.
00:08:11Yes, that's quite all right.
00:08:14Yes?
00:08:15Your Aunt Cora's on four.
00:08:16Right.
00:08:17Aunt Cora!
00:08:18Dickie!
00:08:19You naughty boy!
00:08:20Why didn't you come out and stay with me?
00:08:22I'm sorry, Aunt Cora.
00:08:23Too much to do in town.
00:08:25Listen, I'd like you to come in and have lunch with me.
00:08:27I'm with Sir Hubert now.
00:08:28That old bag of dirt.
00:08:31Aunt Cora says hello.
00:08:32Thanks very much.
00:08:33Charming lady.
00:08:35Fine.
00:08:36One o'clock.
00:08:37I'm anxious for you and Karen to get better acquainted.
00:08:39She's a wonderful...
00:08:40Oh, come off it, Dickie.
00:08:41I know you just like her because she's fancy in the feathers.
00:08:45We'll call you later, Aunt Cora.
00:08:47Yeah.
00:08:47Bye.
00:08:48Oh, poor dear.
00:08:49She doesn't hear too well on the phone.
00:08:51I say, my dear fellow, now what about this layout?
00:08:53What?
00:08:54I will not stand around while you two start arguing policy.
00:08:57Nothing to argue.
00:08:58It's already in the works, Sir Hubert.
00:08:59I gave it the go-ahead.
00:09:01Come on.
00:09:07Heaven's sake, darling.
00:09:08Remember, it's dressed.
00:09:09This is it?
00:09:10Oh, and don't be late.
00:09:11Bill and Dorothy are flying all the way down from Carmel just to meet you.
00:09:15Excuse me.
00:09:16I'd like to see you, Mr.
00:09:17Yes, I know Mr. Colby.
00:09:18He's busy.
00:09:20Hello?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Good morning, girls.
00:09:22I'll be with you as soon as I can.
00:09:24Just one moment.
00:09:25Mr. Colby?
00:09:26Ready for you in the gallery.
00:09:27Oh, thanks, Tim.
00:09:28Mr. Colby, excuse me.
00:09:29My name's Kelly Olsen, S-S-O-N, and I've been sending my things in here to West Coast office.
00:09:32Now, hold your chin up, will you?
00:09:35Uh-huh.
00:09:38Now, turn around, will you?
00:09:40Oh, but...
00:09:40Turn around.
00:09:41Turn around.
00:09:41Turn around.
00:09:41Uh...
00:09:42That's it.
00:09:42Now, stay right there.
00:09:43Oh, no.
00:09:44Stay right there.
00:09:45No, you don't...
00:09:46Now, hold it.
00:09:46Just one moment.
00:09:47Just one moment.
00:09:48Now, let's test her out for spring.
00:09:54Oh, no.
00:09:55No, you don't understand.
00:09:57I'm...
00:09:57Wait a minute.
00:09:58You're a very lucky girl.
00:09:59Mr. Colby has a great eye.
00:10:01I...
00:10:01Good morning, girls.
00:10:02Is that the center?
00:10:03No.
00:10:04No, that's not right.
00:10:05I'll tell you what.
00:10:05Raise this a little higher.
00:10:07You know, get a down shot on it.
00:10:09Okay, miss.
00:10:10You can take them off.
00:10:11In there.
00:10:11Miss Olsen, we're going to photograph you on this wing.
00:10:14And wear this.
00:10:15Here.
00:10:15Go on.
00:10:16Put it on.
00:10:16In there.
00:10:21Now, don't worry.
00:10:23If too much shows, we can always retouch the photograph.
00:10:25Tim, take these photos.
00:10:26I'll look up them later with the prints.
00:10:28No, they're not photographs.
00:10:29That's what I'm trying to explain to you.
00:10:31I don't take them off.
00:10:33I'm not a model.
00:10:34I'm a writer.
00:10:35What?
00:10:36Yeah.
00:10:36Is that fake?
00:10:37Oh, they're stories.
00:10:39Kelly.
00:10:40What are you doing here?
00:10:41Come on, Mr. Colby.
00:10:42Well, that's what I'm trying to explain.
00:10:44I came in to show him my stories, and the next thing I know, he's taking my clothes off.
00:10:49I'm sorry, Mr. Colby.
00:10:51She's sort of an excitable girl.
00:10:53Come on, Kelly.
00:10:53Get out of here.
00:10:54No, wait a minute.
00:10:55Let's have it all over again.
00:10:57Slowly.
00:10:57Yes, Mr. Colby.
00:10:58Certainly.
00:10:59I'm a writer, and I've been sending my stories to your West Coast assistant, Mr. Jenkins.
00:11:04And he's turned them all down, as of every other magazine I've submitted to.
00:11:07True.
00:11:07But I'm sure that if you read them yourself, you will find them fresh, imaginative, and well worth publishing.
00:11:12Well, how are the stories?
00:11:19They're not girl lure, Mr. Colby.
00:11:22More ladies' home journal.
00:11:24I see.
00:11:27The offer to model still stands.
00:11:29You know, there's good money in it if you just...
00:11:31I am not a nudie.
00:11:33I'm a writer.
00:11:35Okay.
00:11:36Tim, let's look for another girl.
00:11:38I'll get started with...
00:11:38But what about my stories?
00:11:39Sorry, you heard, Mr. Jenkins.
00:11:42Not for us.
00:11:42Too innocent.
00:11:43Well, that's just it.
00:11:44Does everything have to be dirty?
00:11:46You know, Mr. Colby, there is more to people than just sex glands.
00:11:48Billy.
00:11:49Has any one of you stories ever won an O'Henry Award?
00:11:51None.
00:11:52Have they?
00:11:53No.
00:11:54Ah, that's what I thought.
00:11:55Or any other literary prize for that matter.
00:11:58Miss Hulson, where are you from?
00:11:59St. Paul.
00:12:00Parents there?
00:12:01Boyfriend planning a way at your absence?
00:12:03Go home, get married, right for the church paper.
00:12:06Oof, I hear that one more time.
00:12:07Come on, Billy.
00:12:07I'm going to send them to Playboy, Esquire.
00:12:10You're going to be very sorry, Mr. Colby, when I'm a famous author.
00:12:12This is your last chance, your very last.
00:12:14And final chance.
00:12:15Too bad.
00:12:17I'd like to see her on that swing.
00:12:20Too innocent.
00:12:21Go home, get married.
00:12:23The only thing he left out was have babies.
00:12:25You know you're troubled.
00:12:26You're nuts.
00:12:28You think life is one great big ball.
00:12:30Everybody in it wears a funny face.
00:12:32I know.
00:12:33I'm going to go in there and see his boss.
00:12:37Sir Hubert?
00:12:41Yes.
00:12:42No.
00:12:43Yes.
00:12:44Kelly!
00:12:53I say, knock, girl, knock.
00:12:56Sorry.
00:13:01That's it?
00:13:02That is it.
00:13:03That's what?
00:13:04That's girl lore.
00:13:05And so is that, and that, and that.
00:13:09Sex, flesh, hanky-panky.
00:13:11That's what they want.
00:13:12You know, like those lured paperbacks on the newsstand.
00:13:16Paperbacks.
00:13:17I got it, Sammy.
00:13:18I got it, Sammy.
00:13:19I got it.
00:13:20I know how to get published.
00:13:26If they want sex, they'll get it.
00:13:29I'll take the best of the paperbacks.
00:13:31No, I mean the worst.
00:13:32Hi, Kelly.
00:13:48Where have you been?
00:13:49Shopping.
00:13:54Hey, looks like you're going to do some reading, hey?
00:13:56Mm-mm.
00:13:57Writing.
00:14:07Baby, don't want me around no more.
00:14:10Around no more, around no more.
00:14:12She's got her way up close the door.
00:14:14Close the door, close the door.
00:14:16Where have you been?
00:14:17Come on.
00:14:17Everybody's here.
00:14:18Sorry, Eddie.
00:14:18Could you please take these to my room?
00:14:20Sure, Kelly.
00:14:25Ruined, virgin!
00:14:30They got to be kidding.
00:14:45I'm sorry, Eddie.
00:14:46I can't today.
00:14:48Warren!
00:14:50Oh, hi, Kelly.
00:14:54Jungle mating rhythms.
00:14:55Kind of grabs you, doesn't it?
00:14:56It's great, Warren.
00:14:57Look, I need my roller back.
00:14:59Oh, sure, sure.
00:15:00I'm going to buy the new book.
00:15:02Crazy.
00:15:02Look.
00:15:03What are you protesting now?
00:15:05I don't know.
00:15:06Something will come up.
00:15:08Here.
00:15:10Thanks.
00:15:11Cool.
00:15:11I don't know.
00:15:12I don't know.
00:15:13I don't know.
00:15:14I don't know.
00:15:15I don't know.
00:15:16I don't know.
00:15:17I don't know.
00:15:18I don't know.
00:15:19I don't know.
00:15:20I don't know.
00:15:21I don't know.
00:15:22I don't know.
00:15:23I don't know.
00:15:24I don't know.
00:15:25I don't know.
00:15:26I don't know.
00:15:27I don't know.
00:15:28I don't know.
00:15:29I don't know.
00:15:30I don't know.
00:15:31I don't know.
00:15:32I don't know.
00:15:33I don't know.
00:15:34I don't know.
00:15:35I don't know.
00:15:36I don't know.
00:15:37Hey, baby, don't walk.
00:15:42Sergeant Hooker.
00:15:43Hi, Kelly.
00:15:44Hi.
00:15:45I was wondering if I could borrow some pencils
00:15:46and things I'm going to do in your book.
00:15:48Oh, help yourself.
00:15:49Right over there.
00:15:50OK.
00:15:51Mm, pretty.
00:15:53Still stuck in my Van Gogh period.
00:15:55Just can't shake it.
00:15:57Take some more, honey.
00:15:59I can filch all I need from the department.
00:16:01You know something, Sergeant Hooker?
00:16:03You are the very nicest man on the whole Los Angeles Bicycle.
00:16:07You know something, Kelly?
00:16:08What?
00:16:09I'm awfully fond of you, too.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11Hey, are you protesting something, too?
00:16:13Oh, gosh, no.
00:16:14I just painted them for Warren.
00:16:16Oh, OK.
00:16:37Oh, yeah.
00:16:38Oh, yeah.
00:16:39Oh, yeah.
00:16:40Oh, yeah.
00:16:41Oh, yeah.
00:16:42Oh, yeah.
00:16:43Oh, yeah.
00:16:44Oh, yeah.
00:16:45Oh, yeah.
00:16:46Oh, yeah.
00:16:47Oh, yeah.
00:16:48Oh, yeah.
00:16:49All right.
00:16:50Too innocent, huh?
00:16:51Wish they'd want.
00:16:52Well, here goes.
00:16:54Mm-hmm.
00:17:02Oh, yeah.
00:17:04Oh, yeah.
00:17:06Oh.
00:17:07Oh, yeah.
00:18:09Kelly. Kelly, what's the matter?
00:18:16It's finished.
00:18:18Great.
00:18:20Okay, now let's find the beginning.
00:18:22Great, great.
00:18:24Don't tear it.
00:18:25No, no, no.
00:18:27Here's 41.
00:18:30All right, well, let's start here.
00:18:33Um, 34?
00:18:35What's this?
00:18:3742?
00:18:38Well, that's a good place to start.
00:18:40Hello?
00:18:40Kelly, are you all right?
00:18:42Mom, of course I'm all right.
00:18:44Dear, all of a sudden I had the strangest feeling something was wrong.
00:18:48Mom, you've got to stop calling from St. Paul.
00:18:50I'm perfectly able to take good care of myself.
00:18:53How's Dad?
00:18:54Oh, he's fine. Here he is.
00:18:55Oh, good.
00:18:56Hi, Kelly.
00:18:57How are you, sweetheart?
00:18:58Look, I'm in an awful hurry.
00:18:59Why am I right here at the end of the week, okay?
00:19:01All right, dear.
00:19:03Oh, Kelly, don't forget to take your vitamins.
00:19:05Mom will be angry.
00:19:06Okay, Mom.
00:19:07Love to you and Dad.
00:19:08Let's hurry up and get everything together so I can take it to Mr. Colby to read.
00:19:15And so, gentlemen, as your delighted eyes will tell you by just a glance at these lovelies,
00:19:18ha-ha, what contour, eh?
00:19:20Ha-ha, yes, what topography.
00:19:22Girl lure is international in scope and no expense has been spared
00:19:26to bring to our discriminating readers beauty from around the world.
00:19:30Ask me in Lithuania.
00:19:32Well, as we said, gentlemen, it's the policy of girl lure to give new talent a chance.
00:19:58Oh, Mr. Colby, uh, Mr. Colby, then you will read my new story, won't you?
00:20:04It's brand new, fresh out of the typewriter,
00:20:06and it's just full of all the sexy and exciting things that I know your readers will love.
00:20:10Oh, it's true, gentlemen, it's true.
00:20:12Mr. Colby's so helpful to newcomers.
00:20:15Ha-ha.
00:20:16Oh, certainly, certainly.
00:20:17I'll be glad to read it, Miss...
00:20:19Olsen, S-S-O-N.
00:20:21Well, I guess I'll come back for your answer tomorrow.
00:20:24Bye.
00:20:24Bye.
00:20:25Ha-ha.
00:20:26Bye.
00:20:26Ha-ha.
00:20:26Mr. Colby read it, said thank you, but it doesn't suit our needs.
00:20:34How can you say that? It's filthy.
00:20:36Well, it may be, but it's not girl lure.
00:20:39Thank you so much. Good day.
00:20:45I tell you, Roy, they're just fine. Run them all, will you?
00:20:48Good, will do.
00:20:49I got a draw.
00:20:51Mr. Colby.
00:20:51Hey, Tim, take a look at these.
00:20:57What do you think?
00:20:59Rick thought these were pretty good.
00:21:00I like this one particularly.
00:21:02It's good.
00:21:02It's kind of unusual.
00:21:03Good.
00:21:04Hi, Mr. Colby.
00:21:15What is it with you?
00:21:17You pop up in the darndest places.
00:21:19I thought maybe you didn't like the story because of the typing.
00:21:24The time...
00:21:25Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mrs. Olsen, that wasn't it.
00:21:28Actually, I found the story quite interesting.
00:21:30You did?
00:21:31Did I say interesting?
00:21:32Now, that's an understatement.
00:21:34Fascinating.
00:21:35Fascinating?
00:21:36Now, fascinating, and it's an emptiness.
00:21:38Interesting that you should think I would even consider publishing a shambles like that.
00:21:41What?
00:21:42You know, that's what's wrong with so many of you kids today.
00:21:44You even live life like it's a shambles.
00:21:46The more disorderly, the more disrespectful, the more chaotic, the better you seem to like it.
00:21:51Now, just a minute.
00:21:53No sense of propriety, no sense of decency.
00:21:55Busting into the washroom here.
00:21:57What's the matter with your parents letting you grow up like that?
00:21:59Now, you leave my parents out of this.
00:22:01All right, then, about your so-called work.
00:22:04As a writer, you're lazy and a fraud.
00:22:06A fraud?
00:22:08The story's a mountain of familiarity, undoubtedly put together from everything you've read.
00:22:13Nothing fresh about it, nothing real.
00:22:15Well, not a true moment in it.
00:22:18Oh, is that so?
00:22:19And the sensual character, the swinger.
00:22:23Now, that's a farce.
00:22:24That's completely unbelievable.
00:22:26Dealer in an illegal gambling den.
00:22:28Stripper, party girl, street walker, whatnot.
00:22:31No one that young could possibly be that depraved.
00:22:34She wouldn't have had the time.
00:22:39Oh, you're so smart, aren't you?
00:22:42You know everything.
00:22:43Yeah.
00:22:45Well, that just shows you how much you know about real life.
00:22:49For your information, every single bit of depravity in the story happens to have happened.
00:22:54Uh-huh.
00:22:55The swinger just happens to be my life's story.
00:22:57Oh, I say, Richard!
00:23:09Richard!
00:23:09Oh, car dealer, stripper, party girl!
00:23:13Oh, I say, jolly girl!
00:23:15Sir Hubert, it's nonsense.
00:23:16The girl's a fake.
00:23:17Oh, you never know, my dear fellow.
00:23:18You never know.
00:23:19Now, look here.
00:23:20If this is true, we have our own real live nymphette.
00:23:24So, Sir Hubert's hooked.
00:23:26He wants to publish it.
00:23:28He thinks the swinger is really Kelly's autobiography.
00:23:31They think you're really the swinger.
00:23:33Yeah, Sammy, go on, go on.
00:23:34Listen.
00:23:36Well, Sir Hubert and Mr. Colby are coming out tonight just to see how depraved Kelly really is.
00:23:42What?
00:23:42Yeah, yeah.
00:23:43Thanks a lot, Sammy.
00:23:44We'll cook up something just great for them to come in on.
00:23:47Bye-bye.
00:23:48Oh, but, but it just popped out of me.
00:23:50I was so mad.
00:23:51I certainly didn't mean it.
00:23:53Yeah, but they'll never know that when we get through.
00:23:55Right, Sarge?
00:23:56Come on.
00:23:57Smut with those guys is a way of life.
00:23:59They'll believe anything as long as it's suggestive enough.
00:24:02This looks like it.
00:24:20My dear fellow, I sense something foul.
00:24:23I hear something foul.
00:24:25Jolly good clump.
00:24:26Sergeant Hooker.
00:24:27Come in, Sergeant Hooker.
00:24:28Okay, Warren.
00:24:29Yeah.
00:24:30They're here and we're ready to start.
00:24:31We'll be there.
00:24:32Right.
00:24:42Beat it, man.
00:24:43This is a private man.
00:24:47I say this one was positively degenerate.
00:24:50Oh, my dear fellow, feast your eyes on death.
00:25:04Oh, my dear fellow, feast your eyes on death.
00:25:07Oh, my dear fellow, feast your eyes on death.
00:25:08Hey, there's a place on death, man.
00:25:12I'm me, and that's
00:25:27I'll follow you later.
00:25:30Oh, my God.
00:25:31Oh, my God.
00:25:32Ah!
00:25:33Ah!
00:25:35Ah!
00:25:36Ah!
00:25:37Ah!
00:25:38Ah!
00:26:00Oh, my God.
00:26:30Oh, my God.
00:27:00All right, boys.
00:27:01Knock it in.
00:27:09Get over there.
00:27:17No.
00:27:19Kelly, are you behaving yourself?
00:27:22Oh, are you sure, Mom?
00:27:23Sure, of course.
00:27:24I don't know, dear.
00:27:25I just had the most peculiar dream.
00:27:30What's that?
00:27:31Uh, uh, it's Bonanza.
00:27:33The TV's on.
00:27:34What was that noise?
00:27:36Bonanza.
00:27:37Bonanza's on now?
00:27:38Look, Mom, I can't talk right now.
00:27:40Well, all right, dear.
00:27:41Just as long as everything's all right.
00:27:44Good night.
00:27:45Don't forget to take your vitamins.
00:27:46Okay, I won't.
00:27:47And I left you and Dad.
00:27:49Hey, Kelly, come on, come on.
00:27:51They're out by the side of the house.
00:27:53Oh, you were wonderful.
00:27:55Thank you so much.
00:27:56Hey, come on.
00:27:58Come on.
00:27:59Come on.
00:28:00Come on.
00:28:01Come on.
00:28:02Come on.
00:28:02Come on.
00:28:03Come on.
00:28:03Come on.
00:28:03Come on.
00:28:03All right.
00:28:04Take them down.
00:28:05What publicity.
00:28:13What notoriety as we exploit the evil little thing along with her true life story.
00:28:19So you've had every nasty thing ever said about you is absolutely true.
00:28:22Oh, do you know anything, sir?
00:28:23Oh, it's damn nice of you.
00:28:24That's quite all right.
00:28:25It's a pleasure.
00:28:26There she is.
00:28:26There she is.
00:28:27Get her.
00:28:27Get her quickly.
00:28:28Get her.
00:28:28Get her.
00:28:29Hey.
00:28:29Hey.
00:28:30Oh, you typical.
00:28:32Now, look here.
00:28:33Here's the program, old fellow.
00:28:34Oh, excuse me.
00:28:35How do you do?
00:28:36Sir Hubert here, owner-publisher of Girl Lure, filthy rich and all that sort of thing.
00:28:40Now, look.
00:28:41We'll hide her in my place until the story's ready for publication.
00:28:44Nope.
00:28:44Nope.
00:28:44Not your place.
00:28:45Not a chance.
00:28:46My aunt's place at the beach.
00:28:48Then we'll have a little discussion about your program.
00:28:50I'm not going anyplace with you two.
00:28:52You just shut up and do as you're told.
00:28:54Hear me?
00:28:55Oh, ow!
00:28:56It's too bad they had a bust in so soon, man.
00:29:07You would have seen some real action out of sight.
00:29:10I saw enough.
00:29:11You know, I owe you an apology.
00:29:13I said the swinger was unbelievable.
00:29:15I've changed my mind.
00:29:17If anything, you were holding back.
00:29:20Don't you worry about how your folks would feel?
00:29:22Oh, come on.
00:29:23That's why I learned it all.
00:29:24Mom and Pop are the biggest swingers in St. Paul.
00:29:27Tell that to Sir Hubert and he'll run a feature on them, too.
00:29:30He will?
00:29:31Mm-hmm.
00:29:32I mean, God, it can't get all of them.
00:29:35They're in jail.
00:29:36Now, look.
00:29:37Haven't you ever tried to straighten yourself out?
00:29:39The square line?
00:29:41Oh, I think about it sometimes.
00:29:44I mean, must be something to it or else why would so many people be on it?
00:29:47They're hooked.
00:29:47Oh, sometimes I even think I might even try, uh, give it a real good try, you know?
00:29:56Get reformed and all that jazz.
00:29:58That Higgins cat.
00:30:00Who?
00:30:01You know, the English professor in the picture.
00:30:03You know, uh, the stuffy John that made a lady out of a piece of garbage.
00:30:06A baggage?
00:30:07Yeah, that's the one.
00:30:09Hmm.
00:30:10I wonder if he could pull a thing off like that with me.
00:30:13Nah, not a chance.
00:30:17I'm too far gone.
00:30:19I'm afraid so.
00:30:22And don't start showing off your legs for me.
00:30:25It won't do you any good.
00:30:26What?
00:30:32What are you looking for?
00:30:34The file, man.
00:30:35Where do you keep the jug?
00:30:36There's no jug.
00:30:38Will you put all the...
00:30:39That's my license.
00:30:40Don't...
00:30:40Stop that, will you?
00:30:41Come on.
00:30:57All right, this way.
00:31:11And keep quiet.
00:31:13My aunt's probably asleep.
00:31:14Hmm, man, what a pad.
00:31:16We could really tear this place up.
00:31:18Dickie, is that you?
00:31:20Why, yes, Aunt Cora.
00:31:22Oh, Dickie.
00:31:23Aunt Cora.
00:31:24I thought it was your car.
00:31:28Who's this?
00:31:29Well, I'll tell you about her in a minute, Aunt Cora.
00:31:31I've got to call Karen.
00:31:34I don't want to shock you, but I'd like her to stay here tonight.
00:31:38Oh, certainly.
00:31:39She can have Brenda's room.
00:31:41I'll get her some night things.
00:31:43Good.
00:31:43She's a darling little thing, isn't she?
00:31:46Now you're getting smart.
00:31:47Yeah.
00:31:50Karen?
00:31:50Richard, where are you?
00:31:53The party started ages ago.
00:31:55Well, I'm sorry, Karen, but I got tied up in some business.
00:31:58Well, drop it and get over here this instant.
00:32:00Karen, I can.
00:32:02You see, we came across this orgy in Laurel Canyon.
00:32:04Half-naked girl that we're using as a paintbrush.
00:32:07What?
00:32:08Well, your father's got some rotten scheme to use...
00:32:10I'm sorry, I can't talk now.
00:32:13She's stealing the bourbon.
00:32:14Bourbon?
00:32:15Richard, where are you?
00:32:17Sorry about the party.
00:32:18Call you tomorrow.
00:32:18Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:32:21Hey.
00:32:21There'll be none of that.
00:32:23And another thing, while you're here, you'll watch your manners and your language.
00:32:26Oh, thank you, Aunt Cora.
00:32:28Now, you sleep in here tonight.
00:32:29And you see this?
00:32:30It's a tub.
00:32:31Take a bath.
00:32:33Of course I'm gonna take a bath.
00:32:38You may think I'm a little rough with her, Aunt Cora, but you can't believe the life she's led.
00:32:43Her card seat, party girl, and it's all documented in her book.
00:32:48And he wants to publish that story?
00:32:50Yep.
00:32:52Nonsense.
00:32:52That child depraved?
00:32:54That sweet young thing?
00:32:56Oh, I don't believe it.
00:32:58Well, I didn't either.
00:32:59Certainly not when I first met her.
00:33:01Not even when she popped up in the men's washroom.
00:33:04But when the vice squad broke down the doors, I was sold.
00:33:07I don't know, Aunt Cora.
00:33:08Maybe it's happening all over the country.
00:33:10Sweet young things going bad.
00:33:12The hard sell, the soft sell, the sex sell.
00:33:15In my own little way, I guess I've been a contributor.
00:33:17Well, I'm sick of it.
00:33:18Of Sir Hubert's slimy schemes.
00:33:21And especially of Sir Hubert himself.
00:33:22Good for you.
00:33:24Oh, how I like to see him busted by the fuzz.
00:33:27Listen, Aunt Cora, do you mind if she stays on indefinitely?
00:33:30Not at all.
00:33:31Maybe I could learn something.
00:33:33No, Aunt Cora.
00:33:33She's the one who should do the learning.
00:33:38Yeah.
00:33:40Why not?
00:33:42Why not what?
00:33:46Transform her.
00:33:47Turn her from a miserable, shameless thing
00:33:49into some kind of a decent lady with decent manners.
00:33:53And the proper lady-like inhibitions.
00:33:55Just like my fair lady.
00:33:57Hmm?
00:33:57Oh, I didn't mean it that way, Dickie.
00:33:59I think the idea's a blast.
00:34:01And then, when Sir Hubert comes looking
00:34:03for an evil thing to exploit,
00:34:06he'll have the shock of his life.
00:34:08Right.
00:34:09Why, with a little luck,
00:34:10the old dumb people have himself a coronary.
00:34:15What do I do?
00:34:16You're a chaperone, Aunt Cora.
00:34:17But now remember, it's a secret.
00:34:18Even from Karen,
00:34:20I don't want a chance her tipping her father.
00:34:23Now go on, go to sleep.
00:34:24We'll talk about it in the morning.
00:34:26Check.
00:34:27Oh, let's hoist him good,
00:34:30the old brat think.
00:34:31Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:35Ah!
00:34:43Oh!
00:34:44Hey, it's me, Sergeant Hooker.
00:34:45Oh!
00:34:46My goodness, I didn't recognize you.
00:34:49Disguise.
00:34:50To be at one with the environment,
00:34:52so to speak.
00:34:53Sergeant, thank you so much
00:34:54for bringing in the vice squad to help out.
00:34:57Ah, shucks, Kelly.
00:34:58It was nothing.
00:34:58Them guys needed the practice anyway.
00:35:01How's it going?
00:35:02Well, I don't know.
00:35:03He's planning to reform me.
00:35:05He thinks I'm a miserable, shameless little...
00:35:08That's wonderful.
00:35:09It worked.
00:35:10Well, it didn't have to work out that well, did it?
00:35:12What's the matter?
00:35:13You falling for him?
00:35:15Falling for him?
00:35:16I think I'm going to hang around
00:35:18and keep an eye on things.
00:35:20The way this is shaping up,
00:35:21I don't think either of you know what you're doing.
00:35:23I'll just show him how miserable and shameless I can be.
00:35:44Kelly?
00:35:57Kelly?
00:36:00Kelly, come on.
00:36:01It's time to get up.
00:36:04Kelly, did you hear me?
00:36:06Oh, no.
00:36:07No, we'll never hurt her.
00:36:21All right, Kelly.
00:36:23On your feet.
00:36:26Kelly?
00:36:27Kelly, did you hear me?
00:36:28Wake up.
00:36:29Hi.
00:36:30Come on, wake up.
00:36:31Wake up.
00:36:31Oh, I know.
00:36:32You got me all boozed up so you could seduce me.
00:36:36Kelly, come on.
00:36:38Put your arms around my neck.
00:36:40That's it.
00:36:40Now, up we go.
00:36:43Kelly.
00:36:45Come on, now.
00:36:47On your feet.
00:36:48Come on.
00:36:49On your feet.
00:36:58Yeah, it's very funny, Kelly.
00:37:01Here we go.
00:37:10He is here.
00:37:11Look at the car.
00:37:22Hey, you fellas are all white.
00:37:25You can't wait to shower with me.
00:37:27All right.
00:37:29Woo!
00:37:30Hold her up.
00:37:31Dude!
00:37:32Come back.
00:37:33Hey!
00:37:34Hey, Kelly!
00:37:35Woo!
00:37:36Kelly.
00:37:37Oh!
00:37:38Let go.
00:37:39Let go.
00:37:41Woo!
00:37:42Let go.
00:37:43Woo!
00:37:44Hey, you know what?
00:37:46They pushed me out there.
00:37:48It's the new swing.
00:37:49Kelly!
00:37:50It's all right.
00:37:51Let go.
00:37:52Hey, how it's all up, guys.
00:37:54Hey, come on in.
00:37:56Look at the old party.
00:37:58Father.
00:37:58Father.
00:37:59Take me home.
00:38:01Sadly, my dear, yes.
00:38:03At least I'll walk you to the car.
00:38:06Splendid.
00:38:07Karen!
00:38:11Karen!
00:38:12Karen!
00:38:13Karen!
00:38:14Karen, wait!
00:38:16Ow!
00:38:16Ow!
00:38:17Ow!
00:38:18Ow!
00:38:20Karen!
00:38:20Karen!
00:38:21Karen!
00:38:21Karen!
00:38:21Karen, wait!
00:38:24Karen!
00:38:25Karen, wait a minute.
00:38:26It's not what you think, honey.
00:38:27No, darling.
00:38:28It never is.
00:38:31Father, aren't you going to say anything?
00:38:32What?
00:38:32Oh, yes.
00:38:33Yes, indeed.
00:38:33Now, look here, old man.
00:38:34It's hardly cricket.
00:38:35I saw her first.
00:38:37Hmm?
00:38:38Oh, no.
00:38:38Oh, rather.
00:38:39Now, look here, old man.
00:38:40It's hardly cricket.
00:38:41You're engaged to my daughter.
00:38:42Who is that little trollop, anyway?
00:38:45That's the girl.
00:38:46Never mind.
00:38:47Who cares?
00:38:48Oh, come on, Father.
00:38:49Karen, Karen, oh, wait a minute.
00:38:50Let me explain.
00:38:50Wait, Hannibal, don't leave yet.
00:38:53Karen, Karen, look.
00:38:54If you just get out of the car, I'll explain.
00:38:56No, Karen, I want to explain.
00:38:57The girl is real.
00:38:58Karen, Karen.
00:39:00Karen.
00:39:00Karen.
00:39:12You listen to me.
00:39:14Here are some of the ground rules.
00:39:16Early to bed, early to rise.
00:39:19No fellas around.
00:39:20Got it?
00:39:21Oh, dear, I...
00:39:22I don't know if I can stand that.
00:39:24I mean, I have such...
00:39:25Now, there, Flores.
00:39:27Now, hiya, Dave.
00:39:27It's Richard Colby.
00:39:29Listen, will you please send two dozen long stem roses to Miss Karen Charles?
00:39:33Yeah.
00:39:34Yeah, same address.
00:39:35With a note.
00:39:36Supper at your place tonight for sure.
00:39:40Love, Rick.
00:39:43Bye-bye.
00:39:43I'll meet you at 3 o'clock for a little culture.
00:39:49Culture?
00:39:50Oh, come on.
00:39:51You must be kidding me.
00:39:53No, not at all.
00:39:54A little culture won't do you too much harm.
00:39:55Yes, sir.
00:39:56Oh, thank you, Walter.
00:39:57Here, put these on.
00:39:59I'll drop you off at the office,
00:40:00and my aunt will pick you up there and take you to Saks.
00:40:02At Sir Hubert's expense.
00:40:04And while you're doing that,
00:40:05will you try something unique for me?
00:40:06What?
00:40:07Stay out of trouble.
00:40:17Hello.
00:40:17Hello, hello there.
00:40:19Oh, how nice to see you again so soon.
00:40:22Do come in.
00:40:23Come in.
00:40:23No, thank you, Sir Hubert.
00:40:24I'm waiting for Mrs. Fowler.
00:40:26Oh, yes, certainly, yes.
00:40:27But in the meantime,
00:40:28let Sir Hubert here
00:40:29explain some of our plans
00:40:31for your story.
00:40:33What story?
00:40:34For your story.
00:40:35The swinger.
00:40:36Oh, the swinger?
00:40:37Yes, come along, my dear.
00:40:39Do come along.
00:40:40Please.
00:40:40Oh, after you, sir.
00:40:41There you are, dear.
00:40:42Yeah, after you.
00:40:44Oh, all right.
00:40:49Charming.
00:40:51Charming.
00:40:54Lovely, my dear.
00:40:57Yes, well, that's another romance.
00:40:59On with the real stuff of life.
00:41:01Huh?
00:41:14The old maestro's at work again.
00:41:16No, just a minute.
00:41:18You said you were going to tell me about this.
00:41:20I know, I will.
00:41:21Ah-ha.
00:41:22Oh, Jackie.
00:41:23Ah-ha.
00:41:24Ah-ha-ha.
00:41:25Come here, come here.
00:41:27Come here, my little partridge.
00:41:29Ha-ha.
00:41:30Oh, oh.
00:41:31Oh, are you all right?
00:41:32No, no, no, no, no.
00:41:32It's nothing.
00:41:33No, just part of the game.
00:41:35Oh, oh.
00:41:48What?
00:41:49Hey, you know,
00:41:50I feel like I'm on vacation.
00:41:52Enjoy it.
00:41:53What?
00:41:54What?
00:41:54What?
00:41:55What?
00:41:55What?
00:41:56What?
00:42:02No, no, no, no. Just a second there. Hold on.
00:42:14What does it matter? After all, you're so depraved anyway.
00:42:18That's what I mean, Sir Hubert. You don't want me. I'm so cheap.
00:42:21Tut-tut, my dear. After all, we can't all be aristocracy.
00:42:32It's a challenge. Where's the... Where's the... Where's the challenge?
00:42:51I hate the challenge. Sir Hubert likes a sure thing.
00:43:02Sir Hubert. Are you all right, Sir Hubert?
00:43:07Crack it. There I go again. I feel like a positive ass.
00:43:12Here I am. Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you.
00:43:18Oh, my dear. My dear, you may as well know the truth.
00:43:22Despite what you may think, when it comes to women, Sir Hubert here is an empty barrel.
00:43:28What? Yes, my dear. It's no good.
00:43:31I'm a bumbler, that's all. Yes, all thumbs.
00:43:35And what the goodness is a handful of thumbs, well...
00:43:37But I thought that... I don't know.
00:43:38When I think a girl should, she won't. And when I think she won't, she will.
00:43:42Oh, little fat. I always seem to zig when she wants to zag.
00:43:47But I heard that you...
00:43:48Confidential, my dear.
00:43:50I only got into this business because I thought it would make things easier.
00:43:55And it hasn't?
00:43:56A bust, my dear. Of absolutely the worst kind.
00:43:59And I'll wager I'm the only non-scorer in the whole game.
00:44:05Oh, you poor man.
00:44:08Yes, it is a bit humiliating, I must say.
00:44:10To have to admit that as a lecher, old stinkweed is an absolute fake.
00:44:15Fake?
00:44:16Shh, not so low, dear girl.
00:44:18I don't want to let it get out.
00:44:21You see, I have a position to keep up.
00:44:23Oh, I understand.
00:44:25Shh, shh, shh, don't, don't worry. I understand.
00:44:37Mrs. Fowler's waiting in the reception room for Miss Olson.
00:44:41I can't tell if she's smiling.
00:44:43But it's a half time.
00:44:45It's unfair.
00:44:46Whatever.
00:44:46It's unfair.
00:44:47I think she's gone.
00:44:49I think she's not allowed here.
00:44:50She's gone.
00:44:52And she's gone.
00:44:53She's gone, she's done.
00:44:54I just wonder if she's alive.
00:44:56I'm too busy.
00:44:58She's gone.
00:44:59She's gone.
00:45:00I've had to�� me.
00:45:02I don't want her.
00:45:04You know, she's gone.
00:45:05I don't want her.
00:45:06I don't want her.
00:45:08You know, I don't want her.
00:45:09Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.
00:45:16Mr. Colby's office.
00:45:17Oh, long-distance operator, just a moment, please.
00:45:40I've just got to tell you the truth.
00:45:42It all started when I wanted to get published.
00:45:44I just made the whole thing up.
00:45:46Of course, dear. I never thought you were depraved to begin with.
00:45:49You didn't, but I think the whole put-on's a gasser.
00:45:52Oh, well, it's all gotten a little out of hand.
00:45:56Everybody thinks such terrible things about me.
00:46:01I just got to tell Rick the truth.
00:46:04You'll do no such thing.
00:46:06If Dickie wants to play Pygmalion, we simply must let him.
00:46:11It'll give him something constructive to do
00:46:12and keep his mind off that English muffin.
00:46:15Oh, how I'd like to bake that up.
00:46:18You would?
00:46:20So, child, you will just listen to me if you love him.
00:46:24Love him? Well, I don't love him.
00:46:26I mean, I think he's very nice, but I certainly don't love him.
00:46:29Oh, of course you don't, dear.
00:46:31But just the same, the only way to handle men, the dopes,
00:46:35is to keep them with one foot standing on the oil slick.
00:46:39Then when they tumble, it's in your direction.
00:46:42Dick?
00:46:43If you're going to compete with a woman,
00:46:45you've got to look like a woman.
00:46:46I'm kidding.
00:46:47He's a tie-題 to self- Munee.
00:46:47Here it goes.
00:46:47I love you.
00:46:49Here it goes.
00:51:00Good idea.
00:51:01I know just what to do.
00:51:02Really?
00:51:03Yeah.
00:51:04Wait.
00:51:04Oh, who can sleep feeling this way?
00:51:20Oh, who can I do?
00:51:22Oh, who can I do?
00:51:24Oh, who can I do?
00:51:24Yeah.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:28TV.
00:51:29Watch your show.
00:51:30With all those beautiful beer commercials.
00:51:33Oh.
00:51:34Now, look, I've got to go. I cannot stay.
00:51:37Oh, the radio.
00:51:39Nice, soft, soothing music.
00:51:41That's a good idea.
00:51:42Good.
00:51:47Oh, that's nice.
00:51:49Now, you go to sleep.
00:51:51I'll see you tomorrow.
00:51:52Okay.
00:51:53Nighty-night.
00:51:53Nighty-night.
00:51:55I wanna be loved
00:52:01With inspiration
00:52:05I wanna be loved
00:52:09Starting tonight
00:52:12Instead of merely holding
00:52:18Conversation
00:52:20Hold me tight
00:52:25I wanna be kissed
00:52:31Until I tingle
00:52:35I wanna be kissed
00:52:38Starting tonight
00:52:42Crush me
00:52:46Till our heartbeats
00:52:48Intermingle
00:52:49Wrong
00:52:54I feel like acting my age
00:53:02I'm past the stage
00:53:05Of merely turtle dovin'
00:53:08I'm in no mood
00:53:15To resist
00:53:16And I insist
00:53:19The world owes me
00:53:22I love him
00:53:24I love him
00:53:25I'm in the mood
00:53:38To adore
00:53:39I'm ready for that
00:53:42And well-known turtle dovin'
00:53:46I'm in no mood
00:53:52To resist
00:53:53And I insist
00:53:55I insist
00:53:56The world owes me a lovin'
00:53:58The world owes me a lovin'
00:54:02And I want to be thrilled
00:54:07I want to be thrilled
00:54:08To desperation
00:54:12I want to be thrilled
00:54:15Starting to mine
00:54:20With every kind of crazy new sensation
00:54:28I wanna be loved
00:54:35I wanna be
00:54:41I wanna be
00:54:47I wanna be loved
00:55:11Exercise, that's what you need
00:55:22Get rid of that feeling in no time
00:55:24Alright, breathing exercises in and out
00:55:26In and out
00:55:27One two, one two
00:55:42One two
00:55:45Well, feel better already, don't you? Huh? No?
00:56:02Stimulates me more.
00:56:04No, no, no, no. It's not supposed to stimulate you. It's supposed to tire you.
00:56:07Yeah, but when I get tired, I get stimulated, baby.
00:56:10Get back into bed.
00:56:15Oh, oh, thank you.
00:56:17Now, look, I can't stay here all night.
00:56:19Oh, I know you can't, but before you go, do you think that maybe I could hold onto your hand for security while I doze off?
00:56:27Yeah.
00:56:40No.
00:56:41No.
00:56:42No.
00:57:13Miss Charles?
00:57:31Yes?
00:57:32I'm afraid Dickie won't be able to make it tonight.
00:57:35The poor dear's been sitting up with a sick friend.
00:57:43I'm afraid Dickie won't be able to make it tonight.
00:58:13Oh, water.
00:58:31Fake!
00:58:32That's right, Mr. Colby.
00:58:33This is the only nude picture of the Olsen girl I could find.
00:58:36Hey, Mallory, are you sure you've been investigating the right girl?
00:58:41Oh, it's the right one, all right.
00:58:43She's so clean she hasn't even held books overdue at the library.
00:58:48You know what I think?
00:58:49What?
00:58:51I figure it's all been a put-on from the very start.
00:59:06John, do me a favor, will you?
00:59:08Keep this under your hat.
00:59:09I don't want Sir Hubert to know about this just yet.
00:59:12Gotcha.
00:59:13Say, I'm sorry.
00:59:14The way she played you for a...
00:59:15Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
00:59:17Anytime.
00:59:17Send the bill.
00:59:18Right.
00:59:18Bye.
00:59:19How do you like that?
00:59:21Oh, Sally, before I forget,
00:59:23send two dozen roses to Miss Charles
00:59:25for missing her supper last night.
00:59:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:59:28That's not right.
00:59:29I just sent some yesterday.
00:59:31I tell you what,
00:59:31make it one of those stuffed giraffes with a radio in it.
00:59:34Okay.
00:59:35Sally, when the swing guy comes out,
00:59:37tell her I want to see her at the office right after lunch.
00:59:40Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:00:09Not bad, eh? I made luck myself.
01:00:14That's me.
01:00:15Yes, jolly good likeness, don't you think?
01:00:18You're not going to print those.
01:00:20Well, it bothered me, too, I must say.
01:00:22A bit conservative, I'm afraid.
01:00:24No! I mean, I look...
01:00:27That's exactly how you look on every newsstand throughout the country.
01:00:31Oh, but I thought you decided against publishing my story.
01:00:34I mean, I thought you'd realize that they were unpublishable.
01:00:37An outrage to public decency.
01:00:39My dear lady, if there is such a thing as public decency,
01:00:43nobody has yet found out exactly what it is.
01:00:48Ah, there you are.
01:00:49Excuse us, Sir Hubert, I need her for a while.
01:00:51Rick, there's something I've got to tell you. It's very important.
01:00:54Did you see the artwork, Sir?
01:00:56Yes, it's awful. That's exactly what I want to talk to you about.
01:00:59Well, you remember how desperately...
01:01:01Well, I'm tossing out all that artwork. I want new stuff, in-person shots.
01:01:04I want to get some realism into the campaign.
01:01:06But you don't understand. I want to tell you the truth.
01:01:08Oh, great. Lovely.
01:01:10What's all this?
01:01:11For you.
01:01:12Kelly, I've got a great idea.
01:01:13I'm going to photograph you in the exact locations your story takes place.
01:01:17Actual scenes, just as you live them.
01:01:20Mmm, lovely. Wrap it up, Mabel.
01:01:22What?
01:01:23Just as I live them?
01:01:26Go ahead, Kelly. You show them.
01:01:27I've never played cards in all my life.
01:01:32Hit me.
01:01:34Excuse me.
01:01:36There we are.
01:01:37Good double-edged.
01:01:38Good job.
01:01:40Oh, my goodness.
01:01:41Sorry.
01:01:42Wait a minute here. Wait a minute.
01:01:44Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:01:45There are those caps here.
01:01:46What?
01:01:47That's over.
01:01:48Oh, brother.
01:01:50What's your turn?
01:01:51Oh.
01:01:53Well, pretending I was a swinger even seemed like fun at first,
01:01:56and then your aunt told me to keep it up, and so I did.
01:01:59Okay, Captain Four, I shot of you under that lamppost there.
01:02:02But I told you none of it was true. It's all fake.
01:02:04Now, just leave it to me, will you, huh?
01:02:06Now, go on. We'll talk about it some more after this.
01:02:09But I'll be recognized.
01:02:11Too dark. Besides, all I'm interested in is the figure.
01:02:13Well, as long as you know the truth.
01:02:16And when you walk, Kelly, give it a little wiggle.
01:02:20Wiggle?
01:02:23That's it.
01:02:25All right, I'll wiggle.
01:02:27A little more. Come on.
01:02:30That's it.
01:02:38All right, baby.
01:03:01How about it?
01:03:02How about it, huh?
01:03:03What do you say?
01:03:04Boy, you said it was all a cash.
01:03:13You said there'd be no trouble.
01:03:15All right.
01:03:15Here, this will buy you two stakes.
01:03:17One for your eye.
01:03:19You were just beautiful.
01:03:20Just great.
01:03:24One for the eye?
01:03:25Now, the management presents The Sexational Swinger.
01:03:36Now, go on out there and do your stuff, honey.
01:03:38I'm going to publish The Swinger as a social document,
01:03:42as a warning to all young girls like yourself,
01:03:45hoping to keep them from a life of debasement.
01:03:47I've never stripped of my life.
01:03:50I don't know how.
01:03:51I'm scared.
01:03:52I'm scared.
01:03:52I'm scared.
01:03:55Hey, Ken, you're on.
01:03:59Sing.
01:04:00That old black magic has me in its power.
01:04:06Your old black magic that you...
01:04:08Bossy, get it back here.
01:04:09I hope so well.
01:04:12Those icy fingers.
01:04:15Down on my spine.
01:04:18That same old witchcraft.
01:04:21When your eyes meet mine.
01:04:24That same old tangle that I feel inside.
01:04:32And then that elevator starts its ride.
01:04:39And down I go.
01:04:42Round and round I go.
01:04:44When I spend loving that spin I made.
01:04:49Under that old black magic cone.
01:04:55Round and round I go.
01:04:57Oh, my God.
01:05:27Oh, my God!
01:05:43Oh!
01:05:55Oh!
01:05:57Oh, my God!
01:06:06Just like you did, Kelly, you're doing great.
01:06:08Oh, really?
01:06:09So that's what you want. Here you go.
01:06:24Pretty good, huh?
01:06:26Here, put your clothes on. That's all the photography for tonight.
01:06:31Kelly, you've been so wonderful about it all, I've got a special treat in store for you.
01:06:35A treat!
01:06:40Voila!
01:06:41Voila!
01:06:42I wanna be in my...
01:06:47Come on.
01:06:49This way.
01:06:50This way.
01:06:51What... what is the...
01:06:52Hmm?
01:06:53Oh, this is a door and that's a little house, you see?
01:06:55Come on.
01:06:56Ah, there we are.
01:06:57Not just a second.
01:06:58It's all right.
01:06:59No one knows we're here.
01:07:00No one knows we're here.
01:07:01I know.
01:07:02It's all right.
01:07:03I've thought it all out. There's no problems.
01:07:04And I'll be absolutely discreet.
01:07:05But I... I told you none of it was true.
01:07:06You see, you've denied yourself so long learning to be good.
01:07:07Well, you deserve a little reward.
01:07:08What?
01:07:09You know, I wanna be loved.
01:07:11Mm.
01:07:12I wanna be loved.
01:07:15Mm.
01:07:16I wanna be loved.
01:07:17Mm.
01:07:18I wanna be loved.
01:07:19Yeah, you've been so good.
01:07:20I wanna be loved.
01:07:21Mm.
01:07:22I wanna be loved.
01:07:23Mm.
01:07:24I wanna be loved.
01:07:25Mm.
01:07:26You see, you've denied yourself so long learning to be good.
01:07:29Well, you deserve a little reward.
01:07:31What?
01:07:32You know.
01:07:33I wanna be loved.
01:07:36Mm.
01:07:37Okay, even a person on a diet can go off once in a while.
01:07:43Get rid of the tensions.
01:07:45But I haven't got any tensions.
01:07:47Oh, look at you, all tied up in a knot.
01:07:50Well, we'll just fix that right now.
01:07:52Come on, let me help you in dress.
01:07:54No, absolutely not.
01:07:56You keep away from me.
01:07:58Oh.
01:08:00Oh.
01:08:01Want a little bit of the chase, huh?
01:08:04Why not?
01:08:05I like it myself.
01:08:06No!
01:08:07No, but I'm not that way.
01:08:09I confessed it all, didn't I?
01:08:10Confessed?
01:08:11Come on, do you think I believe that phony confession?
01:08:13Oh, that wasn't phony.
01:08:14The other was phony.
01:08:16But what about you?
01:08:17That warning you wanted to publish,
01:08:19keeping young girls like me from a life of debasement.
01:08:21Just as phony as your confession.
01:08:23Oh.
01:08:23Hey!
01:08:25I don't know who's a bigger liar, you or me.
01:08:28I don't know who's a bigger liar, I don't know who's a bigger liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I don't know who's a big liar, I
01:08:58Filbert, oh, bless them.
01:09:05Hey, Kelly, wait a minute.
01:09:14Sergeant Hooker, vice squad.
01:09:16You're under arrest for abduction.
01:09:19All right, careful, we'll take him out of here.
01:09:22It's quite late, and we're about to wrap up our beach
01:09:24and report that there seems to be some trouble
01:09:25in a motel here on the coast highway.
01:09:27Hey, gentlemen, I think you're making a terrible mistake.
01:09:30I haven't done anything new.
01:09:32May I ask, who are you?
01:09:33Jack Happy, owner and proprietor of the Seacom Hotel.
01:09:37Who are they arresting?
01:09:38Mr. John Jones, not to be confused
01:09:41with 11 other John Joneses and wives here tonight.
01:09:43Last 4th of July, we had 42 John Joneses,
01:09:46and that was our record, you know.
01:09:48Well, what's the trouble?
01:09:49Abduction.
01:09:50Abduction.
01:09:57I have it all right.
01:10:04Kelly!
01:10:04Richard owner, Richard Colby.
01:10:08Colby.
01:10:09Legal owner, Girl Lure Publications.
01:10:12I recognize him from the magazine.
01:10:14Well, I got to be going.
01:10:15They may want me as a witness.
01:10:16Thank you very much, sir.
01:10:18Thank you for your time.
01:10:19KTVX News, in its attempt to bring you
01:10:22the most complete coverage of news in the Southland,
01:10:25cannot vouch for the veracity
01:10:26of anyone who appears on its microphone.
01:10:28Cleet, keep on the air.
01:10:30We'll send out video to meet you at the police station.
01:10:33It could be that girl Lure is running
01:10:34some type of vice racket.
01:10:35Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
01:10:46Listen, I got something real important to tell you.
01:10:49I'm sorry, Warren.
01:10:49Wait a minute.
01:10:50It's important?
01:10:52Mom, and Kelly.
01:10:54Oh, Kelly, what are you doing here?
01:10:57Well, we phoned and phoned for days and no answers.
01:11:00So I said we'll take the economy flight to Los Angeles
01:11:03and see what's going on.
01:11:04Mother, I said you're worried for nothing.
01:11:06Now, there, do you see?
01:11:07Why don't you go and fix some breakfast
01:11:09while I watch the rest of this thing on television?
01:11:11Good to see you, baby.
01:11:12You look wonderful.
01:11:13Oh, thank you, Daddy.
01:11:15Is everything all right, Kelly?
01:11:17Oh, it's great, Mom.
01:11:19Oh, Mom, it's just awful.
01:11:22It's just so terrible, the things I've done.
01:11:26I don't even know where to begin.
01:11:27It's so horrible.
01:11:28Horrible?
01:11:29Mom, when you called me a few weeks ago,
01:11:32there I was, plagiarizing a story.
01:11:35Plagiarizing?
01:11:36Plagiarizing.
01:11:36And then the next time you called,
01:11:38I was in the middle of an orgy.
01:11:40Orgy?
01:11:40And then the Y Squad came in and arrested everybody.
01:11:43Y Squad?
01:11:45Never mind, dear.
01:11:47At least you've been taking your vitamins.
01:11:49Oh, I have, Mom.
01:11:50I have really faithfully.
01:11:52But see, that's not the end of it.
01:11:54Then, then I was a car dealer in a gambling den.
01:11:58Car dealer?
01:11:59And then a stripper.
01:12:03Stripper?
01:12:04And a streetwalker.
01:12:05Streetwalker?
01:12:06And then in that motel.
01:12:08Motel?
01:12:08A man tried to forcibly seduce me.
01:12:11Forcibly?
01:12:12Seduce?
01:12:13Seduce.
01:12:14Well, there, there.
01:12:17If you think these things are bad,
01:12:19wait till your children grow up.
01:12:21Wait a minute.
01:12:22Could it be him?
01:12:22But, Captain, I tell you,
01:12:23it's simply a misunderstanding.
01:12:25Did you or did you not forcibly take the young lady
01:12:27into the cabin?
01:12:28Well, I had her by the arm.
01:12:29That's him.
01:12:30Do you have a statement for me?
01:12:31That's Rick.
01:12:32Wouldn't you call this an obvious case of police brutality?
01:12:35Police brutality?
01:12:36How'd I bust you?
01:12:37Do it.
01:12:37What?
01:12:38Rick, get him out of here.
01:12:39Watch him out.
01:12:40Rick, Rick, Rick.
01:12:41Rick, Rick.
01:12:41It's simply a misunderstanding.
01:12:42Rick.
01:12:43Sally, what are you doing here?
01:12:45I'm protecting my job.
01:12:46I want you to bring a saw.
01:12:47What's your name?
01:12:48I want some chicken soup, too.
01:12:49Sally, will you please call my lawyer
01:12:50and tell him to get down here.
01:12:51Then I want to get in.
01:12:53That's for police use.
01:12:56Oh, I'm terribly born here.
01:12:59I'm a publisher of a magazine.
01:13:01Sir, Hubert, if you please, if you please.
01:13:03Is there any truth to the rumor
01:13:04that the Seacon Motel is a private key club
01:13:07for a girl or executives and special guests?
01:13:09Pop it up.
01:13:10Share a rock, my dear fella.
01:13:11Don't forget, Ted.
01:13:12Find out where Kelly brought.
01:13:13Honest Hal here.
01:13:14Who?
01:13:14Honest Hal, Colby.
01:13:15I give you a good price for your car.
01:13:16Now, I understand those seats,
01:13:17they pull down into a bed.
01:13:18Who are they?
01:13:19Who?
01:13:19Who?
01:13:20Who are you?
01:13:21Just a minute.
01:13:21Will you excuse me, please?
01:13:22I'll tell you who I am.
01:13:23Honest Hal, square-ish used car dealer
01:13:24in Southern California.
01:13:26No, Hopkins, I wish to see
01:13:27that founder of an editor of mine.
01:13:28You know what I'm going to do
01:13:29special right for you, Captain?
01:13:30I'm going to give you
01:13:31the highest lead price
01:13:32for the broken-down squad, Colby.
01:13:34soliciting a police station.
01:13:37I can't honestly say
01:13:39that this is a difficult day
01:13:40at the station house,
01:13:41but it does show
01:13:42how our law officials
01:13:43have to be ready
01:13:44for eventuality.
01:13:46Excuse me.
01:13:47What have you done
01:13:47with our nimfets?
01:13:48Hey, there's no nimfets,
01:13:50sir, you're going to never watch.
01:13:51It's all a hoax.
01:13:52The girls are fake.
01:13:53Authorities, John.
01:13:55Oh, Bob, ever since
01:13:56he is bail or whatever,
01:13:58let's get out of it.
01:13:59No, no, just a minute.
01:13:59Just a minute.
01:14:00There's no bail.
01:14:01He hasn't even been booked yet.
01:14:03See, I'm still trying
01:14:04to find out
01:14:05what this is all about.
01:14:06Hey, please.
01:14:07Hey, give me my pink delight.
01:14:13Hey!
01:14:17Because she's only
01:14:18over the place
01:14:18who dropped the...
01:14:19I'm just over.
01:14:21And Clark!
01:14:22Is Kelly with you?
01:14:23No, she is not with me.
01:14:24Her cycle's gone.
01:14:25She probably went over
01:14:26to her place.
01:14:27Sally, try to reach her
01:14:27on the phone.
01:14:28You took that child
01:14:30to a hotel.
01:14:31Now, don't stop.
01:14:31You've got to be ashamed
01:14:33of yourself
01:14:34taking your own that way.
01:14:35Who is this woman?
01:14:37Make off, Jack.
01:14:38I'm talking to my nephew.
01:14:39It's fairly crowded
01:14:40in here now.
01:14:44Quiet!
01:14:46I believe it was here.
01:14:48Give me my pink delight.
01:14:50Thanks, buddy.
01:14:51I thought you were locked up.
01:14:52No, no, no.
01:14:53Sure.
01:14:53Hey, you lost a picture.
01:14:59What is this?
01:15:01Where are you going, Kelly?
01:15:03I'm going to the police station.
01:15:04Hey!
01:15:06Lock her up!
01:15:07No!
01:15:07And lock him up!
01:15:09Yes!
01:15:09Gee, Captain, I'm sorry
01:15:11I ever arrested him
01:15:12in the first place.
01:15:13Let them all go.
01:15:15Clear them all out.
01:15:15They're all free.
01:15:16And after they're gone, Sergeant,
01:15:18you come back.
01:15:20I want to talk to you.
01:15:23Okay.
01:15:24All right, everybody.
01:15:25Clear out.
01:15:25Stop!
01:15:25Here's your sooty-fruity, Uncle Herman.
01:15:30Oh, thanks, Herbert.
01:15:35Kelly, Kelly, where are you going this time?
01:15:38Kelly, would you wait, please?
01:15:41Hey, break the pocketbook!
01:15:42Wait a minute!
01:15:43Come on, Mr. McDonald.
01:15:44You can ride with me.
01:15:45Come on.
01:15:45Come on, get in there.
01:15:47Get in!
01:15:47Go ahead, go ahead!
01:15:56Come on, go ahead!
01:15:57There we go!
01:15:58Go ahead!
01:15:58Take it away!
01:15:59Go ahead!
01:16:05Impounded?
01:16:06That's right.
01:16:08All right.
01:16:09Excuse me, Sergeant.
01:16:13Excuse me, Sergeant.
01:16:17Hey, don't leave me out.
01:16:28Hey, come on.
01:16:28Come on, daughter.
01:16:29You will swear in the car.
01:16:31And you will swear in the car.
01:16:55What?
01:16:55This is brilliant.
01:16:56What?
01:16:56You will swear in the car.
01:16:57Let's go.
01:17:27Let's go.
01:17:57Let's go.
01:17:59Let's go.
01:18:01Let's go.
01:18:03Let's go.
01:18:05Let's go.
01:18:15Young couple die in head-on crash.
01:18:19Is that any way to end a tender, delicate love story?
01:18:24Certainly not.
01:18:26Kelly!
01:18:40Rick!
01:18:41Rick!
01:18:42Rick!
01:18:44Come on, Rita.
01:18:46Rick!
01:18:48Rick!
01:18:50Rick!
01:18:52Rick!
01:18:54Rick!
01:18:56Rick!
01:18:57Rick!
01:18:58Rick!
01:18:59Rick!
01:19:00Rick!
01:19:01Rick!
01:19:02Rick!
01:19:03Rick!
01:19:08Rick!
01:19:10Rick!
01:19:11Rick!
01:19:13Rick!
01:19:14So take it from the swinger, you just can be a swinger, and I'm the one to show you how.
01:19:26Pop!
01:19:27Zo!
01:19:28Zip!
01:19:29Bang!
01:19:30Po!
01:19:31Baby, come and swing with me now.
01:19:34Baby, come and swing with me now.
01:19:37Baby, come and swing with me now.
01:19:41Baby, come and swing with me.
01:19:56Yeah!
01:20:11Ya da ba ba ba!
01:20:26You mean?
01:20:28You