Married With Children Season 1 Episode 2 Thinnergy
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00:00Love and marriage, love and marriage
00:13Go together like a horse and carriage
00:18This I tell you, brother
00:22You can't have one without the other
00:28Love and marriage, love and marriage
00:34It's an institute you can't disparage
00:39Ask the local gentry
00:44And they will say it's elementary
00:49Try, try, try to separate them
00:55It's an illusion
00:59Try, try, try and you will only come
01:06To this conclusion
01:10Love and marriage
01:13Excuse me, Mr. Bosley
01:23Isn't this demeaning?
01:25Demeaning?
01:27Demeaning, Patsy?
01:28Is it demeaning for a woman to serve a man?
01:31What do you think, girls?
01:33No!
01:34Now, everybody, let's get started
01:38What you watching?
01:42Patsy, Portrait of a Stewardess in Training
01:45Mr. Bosley
01:50And I thought that was a flotation device
01:54Oh, wow
01:59Why do you watch these things?
02:01It's educational, pig
02:02I mean, we all fly
02:04But do any of us really know
02:07What these young ladies go through
02:09To become stewardesses?
02:14Ooh
02:14Their dresses are awfully short
02:20Would you like me to get one of those?
02:24Why?
02:29Get that, Hunway
02:30I'd be honored, Al
02:32I hope we're not interrupting
02:40Oh, no
02:41Come on in
02:42I was just making coffee
02:44Al's watching Gullible Girls Week
02:47On Channel 3
02:48Al
02:50We have company
02:51It's Steve and Marcy
02:58You know, if a maniac broke in this house right now
03:06When shot me dead
03:07Al wouldn't even know
03:08I'd know
03:10I can't believe you let your husband
03:15Watch this mindless exploitation of women
03:18It's not mindless
03:20Come on, Marcy
03:22You want coffee and cake?
03:24Sure
03:24Good
03:25Did you bring cake?
03:26No
03:27Well, we'll use ours
03:28Hey, Al
03:31Doesn't it bother you to watch this kind of smut in front of your wife?
03:35Yeah
03:35You know what we learned last Tuesday in Marcy's women's club meeting?
03:42I don't care
03:43Look, Steve
03:45You can't honestly tell me you don't enjoy watching this
03:48I mean, look at that leg draped over that flotation device
03:53You don't find that pleasurable?
03:55I used to love smut
03:59Oh, wait a second, Al
04:04We went through this before
04:06You got me in a lot of trouble
04:07Damn it, Steve
04:08We're men
04:08It's our God-given right to watch sports and smut
04:12Since when do we have to apologize for that?
04:17I think since the 70s
04:19Cake?
04:23No, thanks
04:24Doesn't it bother you that he watches things like that?
04:30Not really
04:30I couldn't stand it
04:33Men shouldn't look at women like pieces of meat
04:36Well, what actually bothers me is that he doesn't look at me like a piece of meat anymore
04:41He used to
04:44But it's been 16 years and I guess it's hard to stay interested
04:48That's ridiculous
04:50If they can follow the same sports team all their lives
04:54They can stay interested in the same woman
04:57In our women's group
04:59We have a couple married 47 years
05:02They still fool around four times a week
05:06A week?
05:16Al doesn't even brush his teeth four times a week
05:19You know, maybe Al just doesn't find me attractive anymore
05:29Peggy, what would you say if I told you I had the answer to all of your problems?
05:34I don't know
05:36I bought one of those and it's just not the same
05:38Not that
05:48I've been reading this book
05:50Thin-ergy for thinness and energy
05:52A diet?
05:54Oh, it's more than just a diet
05:56It's a way of life
05:58Certain foods add to your energy
06:00While other bad foods can actually drain your energy
06:04This book helps you eliminate the bad foods
06:07You wake up with energy
06:09You go to bed with energy
06:13What foods drain your energy?
06:18Hey, Peg, we got any more chips?
06:21Potato chips are draining
06:23No, Al
06:25You really ought to give it a try
06:29You'll radiate an aura of energy and sexuality that even Al can't resist
06:35I can only tell you, it worked for me
06:42How well did it work for you?
06:46Every 36 hours
06:50There he is
07:00My little Mount St. Helens
07:11Steve?
07:12Eh?
07:13I think we should go home now
07:15And go to bed
07:17I don't know
07:18I don't really feel like it
07:21Come on, Steve
07:22Let's go
07:24Well
07:25You're gonna go to bed
07:27I think I'll stay up and watch some PBS
07:29Al, what channel does PBS come on in this neighborhood?
07:32Thank you
07:35Did you talk any sense into Al?
07:37I don't think so, Patsy
07:47Isn't this over yet?
07:55Almost
07:56They're cramming for finals
08:04Al, don't you think those girls are a little skinny?
08:08You know, shouldn't a woman have some meat on her bones?
08:11You have to have something to grab onto
08:15I don't know, Peg
08:16A lot of guys have been grabbing that one
08:18And nobody's missed yet
08:24I'm in the mood for
08:28Al, Al, are you coming up?
08:50In a minute
08:51Okay
08:52Wait a minute
09:08Al?
09:09A minute
09:12Just a minute
09:14Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
09:44But this could be the end of life as we know it.
09:54Oh, don't worry about it, Kel.
09:57If you think Dad's gonna put up with this diet,
10:00he should have held you back another grade.
10:07Oh, that's him.
10:14Oh, wow.
10:17His sweat stains are giant,
10:19and he hasn't even said hi to Mom yet.
10:22This is gonna be great.
10:27Hi, Dad. Hungry?
10:29Starving.
10:30I didn't have time for lunch,
10:32got caught in a traffic jam,
10:34and had to sit for ten minutes
10:35staring at a billboard of the best-looking burger
10:37on the rope I've ever seen.
10:39Let's eat!
10:42Hi, hon.
10:43Hi, Al.
10:44I made something different.
10:46I don't care.
10:47Just slide it in front of me and plenty of it.
10:50Okay.
10:51Here it comes.
10:55I'll just skip the salad.
10:57Let's just eat, okay?
10:58That's dinner, Al.
11:00You got your riboflavin,
11:02thalicin, iron, and magnesium
11:04all right there.
11:09Oh, Peg, where's my food?
11:11That's good food.
11:12That's it, Al.
11:13Now, you finish that,
11:14and you can have a granola bar for dessert.
11:18Ooh.
11:19Beats the heck out of the pie we usually have, huh, Dad?
11:23Okay, Peg, what'd I do?
11:25Nothing.
11:26It's good food.
11:28It's gonna make us much healthier and much more energetic.
11:32Try it.
11:33Sure.
11:35Sure.
11:44Gee, you know, you're right.
11:45I doubted you, but I feel a burst of energy coming.
11:50Here it comes now.
11:57Here comes another wave.
12:00What are you doing to me?
12:01I work.
12:02I want food.
12:03You know what food is?
12:04It's hot stuff you put in your mouth.
12:06It smells good.
12:07You swallow it, and you want more.
12:09That's what food is.
12:11Al, the children are here.
12:12Oh, I'm sorry.
12:21Now, I'm gonna watch the news,
12:23and when it's over,
12:24I want some form of dead animal on my plate.
12:30And the melted cheese marries itself
12:33to the juices of the succulent steak.
12:38And I want that dead animal to be succulent, Peg.
12:42We have nothing succulent, Al.
12:44I threw it all out.
12:46You threw away my food?
12:48Did I love?
12:49Did I pay for?
12:50Kids, I think you ought to go upstairs for a while.
12:53Oh, Mom, we would,
12:54but we don't have the energy.
12:56Get upstairs!
13:01You were saying that you threw out my food.
13:03Well, excuse me for trying to improve
13:05the quality of our lives.
13:07You're excused, now give me meat.
13:09Al, I am going on this diet.
13:11If you don't want to, you don't have to.
13:13I don't want to.
13:14You're going on this diet.
13:15Oh, no, I'm not.
13:16Oh, yes, you are.
13:17Oh, no, I'm not.
13:18Oh, yes, you are.
13:19I can't believe it.
13:20This is all just happening
13:21because Mom wants affection.
13:23Then why doesn't she just go to the mall like you?
13:26You know, this carrot is delicious.
13:35Did you know that carrots have a natural sweetness?
13:41It's much better than what you're eating.
13:44And this water here, it comes from a natural spring.
13:50It is the perfect complement to the natural sweetness of this carrot.
13:56I guess that's why I feel so good.
13:57What do you kids want for supper?
13:59Pizza.
14:00With meatballs.
14:01I'm having grapefruit.
14:02With water.
14:03Natural spring water.
14:04I'm having grapefruit.
14:05With water.
14:06Natural spring water.
14:10Get out.
14:40let me ask you a question if you came home at night and found your wife in bed with another guy
15:02did you get mad i'd kill him oh so i guess this guy didn't overreact
15:10you look a little peaky now babe all night raw up with a little lady more or less she's been
15:20yelling at me since one o'clock this morning and she's on some stupid diet i guess it makes
15:25some moody well i can't sympathize there's a shock yep you see i can eat whatever i want and never
15:33gain a pound my body's great i can abuse it it keeps coming back for more
15:40hey you know what else is great about me shut up
15:45can someone help me please yes miss the modeling agency's a few doors down
15:53oh no i i'm not a model i just need shoes oh my mistake
16:00sit right here
16:04al al hi uh listen i haven't got much time i'm on my break
16:16do you remember that movie we were watching the other night
16:19patsy portrait of a stewardess in training thank you
16:24i gotta ask you a question oh look al i've only got five more minutes on my break i gotta get to
16:31the tape store this will only take a second your wife gave my wife a book now my life is hell
16:39ah-ha thinner g yeah that's the way does marcy hate me that much well yes al she does
16:47that's not why she gave peggy the book it was to help you guys and you're looking thinner i'm not on
16:54a stupid diet
16:55oh al you have to
16:59she can't go through this alone
17:01she needs support
17:03your support big guy
17:05if you were to try this diet for even one week
17:12you would show her that you care
17:13then if you were both on it you could both go off it
17:18together
17:19together is the key word al
17:22so all i gotta do is starve and be miserable for a week
17:26then my life will go back to the normal hell it always was
17:30i firmly believe that al
17:34see today's woman is strong but now and then even she needs a little assurance
17:43hey guys come here a second
17:45sandy's on her way to a job interview she's a little self-conscious
17:50can you tell she's not wearing a bra
17:53i can't believe that he's been on this diet for two days
18:13yep two days ten fights and they haven't even got to radish day yet
18:19i really hate to see them like this
18:24then why don't you try and talk some sense into them
18:27they'll listen to you
18:28yeah
18:30it's worth a try
18:32mom
18:37dad
18:38you're grounded
18:39well
18:43i'm going out now
18:45see you kill
18:45i'm hungry too
18:49but you don't see me biting anyone's head i'll feed
18:52more kale dear
18:58did i ask for more kale
19:03more broccoli
19:06did i ask for more broccoli
19:09you know al
19:13the book says we're going to go through grouchy periods as the toxins leave our bodies
19:18yours of course has a longer trip than mine
19:21but anyway
19:24the book says that when we feel an argument coming on
19:27we are supposed to stop and share a nice memory
19:31hey
19:39remember that time when we were dating
19:43and we took that walk on oak street beach at sunset
19:48the wind was blowing through your hair
19:54and you got cold so
19:57i gave you back your jacket
19:59and we fed the pigeons
20:05and held hands
20:08we watched the moon come up
20:11more kale dear
20:25you want to watch carson
20:32it's a special show
20:34it's a repeat of his salute to charles nelson riley
20:37al
20:40did i ever tell you the sound of your voice irritates the hell out of me
20:44no honey you didn't
20:49but in that case there's only one thing i'll have to do
20:51i'll just have to shut up
20:53yep i'll just have to be quiet
20:56because if there's one thing i don't want to do
20:58it's irritate you
21:00not my little peggy
21:02because if she's irritated then i'm irritated
21:06and if she's unhappy then i'm unhappy
21:09al sweetie
21:10what's that song you hate
21:13don't do it peg
21:16see the tree how big it's grown
21:20no peg please
21:21it hasn't been too long
21:23it wasn't big
21:24all right
21:25i laughed at her and she got mad
21:28the first day that she planted it
21:30it was just a twig
21:32and honey
21:34and honey i miss you
21:39and i'd be good
21:41and i'd love to be with you
21:45if only i could
21:48i am woman hear me roar
21:56and that's too big to regard
21:58and that's not much too fun
22:00all right you win
22:02it's a low blow but you win
22:04dominica
22:18dominica
22:19hey
22:22you won there's no need to spike the ball
22:26no you've been acting very snippy lately
22:33have i
22:34yep
22:35and i think i know what you need
22:37oh really
22:38uh-huh
22:39something that always makes you feel better
22:43why don't you make yourself comfortable
22:47right here
22:49that's right
22:52lie down
22:54i'll be right back
22:58don't go away
23:03you're not me in here
23:14just me
23:15close your eyes honey
23:35eat it
23:45you're not what i wanted
24:01you ruined everything
24:04what do you mean ruined everything
24:05our lives are already ruined
24:07give me some of that
24:08get your own
24:09well peg i don't know why you went on a diet anyway
24:17you don't need to lose any weight
24:19well i have to do something
24:21you don't find me attractive anymore
24:25so
24:26so
24:30so you don't find me attractive anymore
24:33oh gee peg of course i do
24:36i think you're great looking
24:38well then why haven't we uh
24:40you know
24:42it's been a long time al
24:44oh honey that again
24:45come here a second
24:47will you
24:48let me tell you something
24:49now just cause i don't go to bed with you doesn't mean i don't love you
24:55i mean let's face it
24:56i mean let's face it
24:58even if you were beautiful
25:01like that girl on tv
25:04i'd still ignore you
25:07cause you're my wife
25:11don't stickin' on me peg
25:13let me tell you what i mean
25:16you remember that baseball glove my dad gave me when i was a little kid
25:22i loved that glove
25:25yeah it's old and the web's loose but
25:29it's special to me
25:33that's how i feel about you peg
25:37i mean i'll tell you all the time but
25:44i love you
25:47i wouldn't do anything to change you
25:51i think you're great
25:53just the way you are
25:56so is my glove
26:06i'll have to take it out more and play catch with bud
26:12oh i like that
26:14oh that feels good
26:16hey remember the american league playoffs last year
26:22you know a lot of fly balls were popping out of gloves
26:28for home runs
26:30i think it's cause the modern gloves are too big
26:35it never would have happened to willie mays
26:41know why
26:41willie had a small glove
26:45just like mine
26:51and it's like mine
26:54i think it's going to be a big, big, big, big
26:56my fingers
26:58no
26:59no
27:00no
27:12no
27:14no