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00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30I'm ruined.
00:50My career is over because of this three-act turkey
00:54with intermissions.
00:55Something's missing.
00:57Something big.
00:58Something super fantastic.
01:00Super fantastic.
01:04But what?
01:05Broadway magic's got actors like a real Broadway show.
01:11Actors?
01:14Oh, I can't think with all that music.
01:22Music.
01:24Music.
01:25Music, that's it.
01:27Of course, I am the genius.
01:30Everybody says I am.
01:32Hello out there.
01:34Help, please.
01:36Help.
01:36Friend, that music.
01:38Help.
01:38I need help.
01:39Yes, it's what I've been missing.
01:43All along, I've been doing a musical without music.
01:49But now I'm saved.
01:52Yes, I'm a success.
01:54It's a success.
01:59Let's see what you do with this one.
02:04You still got a bad for Jerrica reel?
02:06Oh, yeah.
02:07Sometimes it's like we're so close, then suddenly we're strangers.
02:12I wonder if she's hiding something from you.
02:19Wow.
02:19Hey, Jerrica!
02:22Kimber!
02:23Everyone, you're gonna be Broadway stars!
02:28Have you seen the newspaper?
02:29It's our ticket to superstardom.
02:32Come on, we're gonna get this part before Jem and the Holograms hear about it.
02:37Who cares about Jem and the Jerks?
02:39Yeah, we're the best.
02:42But Jem's good.
02:43You know, I wonder where she came from.
02:46I never heard of her before she joined the Holograms.
02:49Maybe Little Miss Perfect's a crook.
02:51Why doesn't anyone know her real name?
02:54Yeah, who does she think she is?
03:05She acts like a queen, if you know what I mean.
03:08But she's in for a big surprise.
03:11Who is she?
03:12She thinks she's the best, but I'm not impressed.
03:14And I'm gonna cut her down to size.
03:17Who is she?
03:18Who is she?
03:20Anyway, she ain't so fine.
03:23Who is she?
03:24Who is she?
03:26Anyway, what's she got that's better than mine?
03:31Faith and hope and brotherly love is all she talks about.
03:37Who is she?
03:38I can cope with all her heart-tugging.
03:41It makes me want to scream and shout.
03:43Who is she?
03:44Who is she?
03:46Anyway, she ain't so fine.
03:49Who is she?
03:50Who is she?
03:52Anyway, what's she got that's better than mine?
03:57Who is she?
03:58Anyway, what's she got that's better than mine?
04:03Who is she?
04:04Anyway, who is she?
04:06I've just thought of something that'll keep her out of our hair.
04:13As you know, I once headed Starlight Music, which now records Jem in the Holograms.
04:20In all that time, I never knew Jem's real name.
04:25What is she hiding?
04:26Is she wanted by the FBI?
04:28I'm offering $100,000 to anyone who can expose Jem's secret past.
04:36I want you to find out who is Jem.
04:41Jem, what's your real name?
04:49Is it true you're a spy?
04:50What's your secret, Jem?
04:52What do you think about Eric Raymond's $100,000?
04:54What is this?
04:55What does he want?
04:56What's going on?
04:57Why are you bothering us?
04:59Follow her!
05:00She can't get away!
05:01We've got to get out of here!
05:04Hotel Americana.
05:05And step on it.
05:06Mister!
05:06You want fast?
05:09You've got fast!
05:12What was that all about?
05:14I don't know, but I don't like it.
05:17Hey, it was all over the TV.
05:19This guy Raymond, he offers a billion bucks or something to find out who you are.
05:24Raymond!
05:25It figures.
05:27That creep's causing trouble again.
05:29Mister!
05:30Causing things to riot!
05:31Mister!
05:32We're making mister!
05:34Making mister!
05:35Mister!
05:35We're gonna make a mister!
05:38Woo!
05:40You're perfect!
05:41Wonderful!
05:42The best!
05:43But I got this one last group.
05:47Here we are.
05:49Sorry we're late, but we had trouble at the airport.
05:51Well, we didn't.
05:53But then the misfits are more professional than your girls.
05:56All right, all right.
05:57Set up and get started.
05:58I haven't got all day.
06:00Girls, where's your lead singer, you know, Jem?
06:03Without her, there isn't any Jem in the holograms.
06:07Uh, oh, I forgot.
06:09Jem's backstage changing.
06:10I'll get her.
06:13I got an idea.
06:15What Merit can't hear, Merit can't hire.
06:19Now, what's that beanpole up to?
06:31Synergy, we need Jem.
06:33And fast!
06:34Showtime, Synergy!
06:41Joe will be right back after these messages.
06:43And now, back to Jem.
06:54Who cares about her?
06:56I'm after Jem and that group of rejects.
07:05Oh, no!
07:07I turned the wrong dials!
07:08If this is part of the holograms' act, I hate it!
07:16Hey, what are you doing?
07:20What happened?
07:22It was Jem's fault.
07:23That's not true.
07:25Mr. Merit, you've got to believe me.
07:28Ah, they don't call me Big-Hearted Bob for nothing.
07:31Go ahead, Jem.
07:32Set up your instruments.
07:33I can't get my love together, no matter how I try.
07:54I can't get my love together, don't know the reason why.
07:59I can't get my love together, can't make the pieces fit.
08:06I can't get my love together, can't make sense of it.
08:13Why do I keep going in two directions at once?
08:19It seems like I keep fighting a war on two different fronts.
08:25I can't get my love together, how I wish I could.
08:33I can't get my love together, but once my love's together, I know we'll be together for good.
08:43I can't get my love together, can't get my love together, can't get my love together, can't get my love together, can't get my love together.
08:49But once my love's together, I know we'll be together for good.
09:01Beautiful! Wonderful! The greatest!
09:04Hey, that's what you said about us!
09:06I did?
09:08Oh, yes, I did.
09:10Didn't I, yeah?
09:12Hmm.
09:13Hmm.
09:13I got it!
09:15I'm going to announce the winner tonight on the Lindsay Pierce Show.
09:18Ha ha!
09:19Think of the publicity!
09:20Ha ha ha ha ha!
09:25Hi!
09:26Tonight, we've got something really special.
09:29The Misfits and Jem and the Holograms are both trying out for the new Bob Merritt Broadway musical.
09:35Right here on this stage, we're going to find out who gets the part.
09:39So, here's Bob Merritt!
09:41Hiya, Lindsay!
09:43Hiya, hiya, hiya!
09:44Hmm-hmm.
09:44How are you, darling?
09:47Well, I guess this is the moment everyone's been waiting for.
09:52And the winner is...
09:55Jem and the Holograms!
09:57Jem and the Holograms!
09:59Jem and the Holograms!
10:00What?!
10:01Impossible!
10:03Hey, we're better than those losers!
10:08This will dampen their celebration.
10:12You were saying?
10:31I...
10:32I wasn't finished.
10:34I think you're all so incredible that I...
10:37I've decided the Misfits will be the understudies.
10:42If anything happens to Jem and the Holograms, you become the stars!
10:48Okay?
10:49And we're sure nothing will happen to our stars, right?
10:52Jem!
10:54Jem!
10:55Jem!
10:56Jem!
10:57Jem!
10:58You, Miss Jem!
10:59You have won one zillion dollars in the Be A Zillionaire Sweepsakes!
11:03It's all yours, Jem!
11:04All I need is your real name, and this check is yours!
11:08Do not listen to him!
11:10He is trying to confuse you!
11:12Listen to Gypsy Mama Pamabama!
11:15Look into my crystal ball!
11:17You will go to sleep, and you will reveal your true name!
11:22Here, look!
11:24Look!
11:25Look!
11:27Are you asleep yet, little one?
11:30Sorry, I don't even want to take a nap!
11:32All right!
11:33All right, you people!
11:34Get out!
11:35I've got a show to put on!
11:37Jem, do something about these interruptions, or I'll be forced to replace you with the Misfits!
11:43I won't say it again!
11:44We have a show to do!
11:46And we've got thinking to do!
11:48Let's get out of here and think!
11:52Show's over, Synergy!
11:54Synergy!
12:01Synergy!
12:02We need advice!
12:05Jerica, in the wrong hands, my holograms could be used for evil, and innocent people could be hurt.
12:11You must not tell anyone about me, and you must not reveal that you and Jem are one and the same.
12:19Look, we can't solve this now.
12:21Why don't we forget about it for the moment and go work on our songs?
12:25I'll go get the music.
12:26Be with you in a moment.
12:37Rio!
12:38What are you doing here?
12:39I, uh...
12:41I...
12:42Oh, I know.
12:43You were trying to find out about Jem.
12:46You're against us, too.
12:47Oh, no, Jerica, that's not it.
12:49I...
12:50You're against me.
12:51And I thought I loved...
12:53Get out, Rio!
12:55Get out!
13:02All right, all right!
13:03Where's my star?
13:04Jem's late!
13:05But the Misfits are always on time.
13:08Jerica's gone, too.
13:10It's all my fault.
13:12And now...
13:13Now I've lost them both.
13:15I'm going after her.
13:16We're going to.
13:17She wanted to visit Central Park.
13:19Wait!
13:20The show opens tonight.
13:21I need you here by eight.
13:23We'll be there, Mr. Merrick.
13:24Count on it!
13:26Lots of luck, girls!
13:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
13:36Jerica?
13:37Jerica!
13:38I've been searching for you.
13:41Why were you spying on me, Rio?
13:43Look, I thought things would be better if I learned the truth.
13:47Why won't you tell me about Jem?
13:49It makes no sense unless...
13:51Unless you and Jem are the same person.
13:55Jem will be right back after these messages.
14:09And now, back to Jem.
14:14Jerica?
14:15Am I right?
14:16Are you two the same?
14:19Showtime, Synergy!
14:23Look over there!
14:24It's Jem!
14:25Let's find out who she is!
14:29What were you saying, Rio?
14:30I'm sorry, Jerica.
14:32I guess I was wrong.
14:38I don't know where Jem and her bean poles went, but they'll be back.
14:42We gotta make sure she doesn't show up for tonight's show.
14:46Wait a minute!
14:47Jem cares for Rio, huh?
14:49Let's see how much she cares.
14:52Start typing, Stormer.
14:54Type what?
14:56My darling Jem!
14:58I'm so sorry for everything I said.
15:03I wanna tell you how much I care for you!
15:06Let's meet at...
15:08The Crown of the Statue of Liberty at 5.
15:10I love you, Rio.
15:11Where are you, Rio?
15:12What's late?
15:16Let's see you make the show now.
15:18Let's boat to Manhattan!
15:19What?
15:20No!
15:21Let me out!
15:23Anyone still up to I miss?
15:24Nope!
15:25Nobody at all!
15:26Stop!
15:27Don't go!
15:28I'm still here!
15:29Oh, they can't hear me!
15:30No!
15:31They can't hear me!
15:32Are you real?
15:33Are you real?
15:34What's late?
15:36Let's see you make the show now!
15:38Let's boat to Manhattan!
15:39What?
15:41No!
15:42Let me out!
15:44Anyone still up to I miss?
15:45Nope!
15:46Nobody at all!
15:48Stop!
15:49Don't go!
15:50I'm still here!
15:51Oh, they can't hear me!
15:55Those workers!
15:56They can help me!
15:58Synergy, it's up to you now!
16:03Hi, guys!
16:04I need help!
16:07Hey!
16:08That's Gem!
16:09She's worth a fortune!
16:12She must have gone up to the Crown!
16:14We're gonna be rich!
16:16I'm inside!
16:17Help me!
16:19What?
16:20You...
16:21No time to explain!
16:22I-I need your boat!
16:24Please!
16:25Uh, sure, Miss Jim!
16:26No problem!
16:27Not so fast, lady!
16:29You're worth a hundred thousand bucks,
16:31and I want that dough!
16:33One boat ride for your secret!
16:36You wanna see my other face?
16:37Okay!
16:38Take me and I'll show it to you!
16:40Hey!
16:41We're gonna make a fortune!
16:43Not we!
16:45Me!
16:46It's all mine!
16:50But your friend!
16:52He can swim!
16:53But I'm not sharing that loot with anybody!
16:59Come on!
17:01Okay, lady, let's see that other face right now!
17:06Showtime, Synergy!
17:08So, what are you gonna do with all the loot?
17:14She's me!
17:15She-she looks like me!
17:18Here!
17:19In case you can't swim!
17:2753rd and Broadway!
17:29Fast!
17:30Oh, it's you again!
17:32Hey, how's it going?
17:33Please hurry!
17:34Like I said before, you want fast?
17:39You got fast!
17:43We're stuck!
17:45But I have to get to the show!
17:49Hey, look guys!
17:50It's Kim!
17:53Can I borrow your skateboard?
17:54Sure!
17:55I'll get you tickets for my new show!
17:58Here's my token!
18:02I can't stop!
18:15Don't let her escape!
18:23Sorry, but I need this more than you do!
18:25What are you doing?
18:27Do you know how to fly that thing?
18:29No, but I've got to learn fast!
18:38In one minute, this becomes the Misfits Show.
18:42Tough luck.
18:44It's about time the holograms became holo-junk, huh.
18:48Alright, Gem's not here, so...
18:55Wait, there she is!
18:57She'll never get her costume on in time.
19:01Showtime, Synergy!
19:08She's in costume! That's impossible!
19:11How did you do that?
19:13I guess I've got that Broadway magic.
19:16You're on in ten seconds!
19:24Relic rehearsals, opening nights
19:27Strikes up the band, bring out the lights a little
19:30Broadway magic, tonight!
19:36Broadway magic, finger-slapping
19:39Broadway magic, toe-tapping
19:42Broadway magic
19:44Singers and dancers, stepping in time
19:47Music you hum, lyrics they rhyme a little
19:50Broadway magic, tonight!
19:53Broadway magic, finger-slapping
19:59Broadway magic, toe-tapping
20:01Broadway magic, thigh-slapping
20:03Broadway magic, head-slapping
20:05Broadway magic, head-slapping
20:07Broadway magic!
20:09Show-slapping numbers, this could be it!
20:11Add it all up, you have a head a little!
20:13Add it all up, you have a head a little!
20:16Broadway magic, nothing like!
20:19Broadway magic, bring on the!
20:22Broadway magic, tonight!
20:25Broadway magic, finger-slapping
20:28Broadway magic, toe-tapping
20:31Broadway magic, tonight!
20:34They're still applauding!
20:37We're a hit, girls, a hit!
20:39And tonight, we're celebrating!
20:41Jerrica, I... I wanted to tell you
20:47It doesn't matter to me who Jem is
20:50You're what's important
20:53Jem's here somewhere
20:55I'll find her
20:57I'll be right back, okay?
20:59If I have to, I'll wait forever
21:02Here I am, Lindsay!
21:04Jem, everyone still wants to know
21:06about your big secret
21:08There's never been a big secret
21:10I guess I just like keeping
21:11my private life private
21:14I'm just a normal person
21:15like everybody else
21:16and I love singing
21:18I know I use a stage name
21:20like other people
21:21but the real question is
21:23what really matters?
21:24My real name or the songs I sing?
21:27Your songs!
21:29Your songs!
21:31Broadway magic, toe-tapping
21:34Broadway magic, tonight!
21:40Shell will be right back
21:41after these messages
21:43Come on, write something!
21:49I don't want to
21:50What's the matter?
21:51You scared?
21:52You're a sissy
21:53Do it, chicken!
21:54I don't have to prove anything to you
21:56You bet you don't
21:57It doesn't take brains or courage
21:59to follow the crowd
22:00Listen to yourself, you know what's right
22:02Hey, we're with you
22:04We were just scared to be left out
22:05Hold on, wait for me!
22:07Doing the right thing makes you
22:09a superstar!
22:13BOOM!
22:37so that's when they were
22:40back
22:43Five months later
22:45We did a job
22:46We are still a superstar!
22:47We are still a superstar!
22:48Bye-bye!
22:49Bye-bye!
22:50Bye-bye!
22:51Bye-bye!
22:52Bye-bye!
22:53Bye-bye!
22:54Bye-bye!
22:56Bye-bye!
22:58Bye!
23:00Bye-bye!
23:02Bye-bye!
23:03Bye-bye!
23:04Bye-bye!
23:05Hey!