Spider-Man - Film Complet en Français ( Parodie , Comédie ) - Vidéo Dailymotion

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Spider-Man - Film Complet en Français ( Parodie , Comédie )   #Film #Complet #Filmcomplet #Filmcomédie  Lycéen timide et mal dans sa peau, Rick Ricker vit avec son oncle et sa tante depuis que ses parents ont été tués. Pendant la visite scolaire d'un laboratoire de recherche, Rick est piqué par une libellule génétiquement modifiée. Peu à peu, alors qu'il voit ses forces se décupler, il comprend qu'il …  films complets en français, films, films complets en français, films complets, films d'action, films complets en français action, films complets en français, films d'action en français, films en français, films complets, films complets en français comédie, films, films complets films en français, pélic, films complets en espagnol, films d'action complets en français, films d'action complets en français, film d'action en français, films d'action complets, orphelins, films d'action complets en français, films d'aventure, films en français, films de comédie, films de famille complets en français, film d'action, films complets en français de rire, films complets de comédie en français, films complets en français 2023, films complets en français, films d'action, films d'aventure complets en français, films complets en français de comédie, peli films d'action 2023, films complets en Français comédie, film complet en Français, film d'action complet, films complets de 2023 en Français, films 2023, films comiques complets en Français, films chrétiens complets en Français, films chrétiens, film complet en Français, Films complets en Français pour les enfants, films pleins d'humour en Français pour toute la famille, film 2023, plein muvis d'action en Français, films complets 2023, films complets d'humour en Français, film d'action 2023, films complets Français, film d'humour complet films en Français, films complets films français, film complet en français, films d'action complets en français, films à suspense complets en français, films complets 2023, films d'action et d'aventure, films en français, films en français, film complet, films en espagnol, film d'action, film français complet , film comique , action, films complets en français, films netflix complets en français, regarder des films complets gratuits en français, films d'animation complets en français, film complet en français d'action, films drôles, films d'action complets, films d'action complets en français, films complets en Français, films complets en français, films complets en français d'action, films mexicains, films latins, films complets en français d'aventures, films en français, films complets drôles en français, films complets netflix en français, films complets en français action, pleine action films, films complets de comédie, film d'aventure, films 2023, films complets en espagnol, films complets

Transcript

00:11:25with this machine.

00:11:26An innovation.

00:11:28THANKS.

00:11:29Who in addition to saving my life,

00:11:30will save the company.

00:11:32We have too long

00:11:33squandered our profits

00:11:34in pills and injections.

00:11:36Real progress,

00:11:37It is total regeneration.

00:11:39A machine that would reconstruct DNA

00:11:41and would restore to the body

00:11:42his perfect health.

00:11:43You are crazy ally.

00:11:45We are crazy allies

00:11:46if we hear voices,

00:11:48if we talk to the cat

00:11:49or if we go out with Paula Abdul.

00:11:51I'm not crazy.

00:11:52I am a visionary.

00:11:54Sir,

00:11:54Sir, the machine is still

00:11:56in the testing phase.

00:11:57If a problem occurs...

00:11:58Start the machine!

00:12:04Cellular restoration initiated.

00:12:07Stable blood parameters.

00:12:09Genetic reconfiguration

00:12:10at the optimum level.

00:12:12Sir, the core is overloaded.

00:12:14We must stop.

00:12:19It worked.

00:12:24I'm really sorry.

00:12:28Good, good, good.

00:12:30Know that it will be a real pleasure

00:12:32to run this company

00:12:33without having you in your way.

00:12:37Stop!

00:12:38Let go of me!

00:12:39Gentlemen, I think it is time

00:13:03to do the housework

00:13:04in the ranks.

00:13:05How long did I sleep?

00:13:26Five days.

00:13:27Uh, five days.

00:13:28Uh...

00:13:28Dragonfly bite.

00:13:50How can MD help you?

00:13:52I have a migraine.

00:13:55I have chills.

00:13:56I want to know what's wrong

00:13:57at Britney's.

00:13:58I was bitten by an insect.

00:14:01I was stung.

00:14:02Does it hurt?

00:14:03Yes or no?

00:14:05No.

00:14:05Have you ever had sexual intercourse?

00:14:10Yes.

00:14:14Don't lie.

00:14:17No, I'm not lying.

00:14:19You can tell me the truth.

00:14:20I am a doctor.

00:14:21Okay, I'm a virgin.

00:14:26You're teasing me,

00:14:26what a wanker?

00:14:29Rick, I have answers.

00:14:34Don't look for me,

00:14:36I will find you.

00:14:38What ?

00:14:40Profix,

00:14:41added you

00:14:41to his friends list.

00:14:42Oh, Dad.

00:14:56I thought you were immortal.

00:15:12It really is,

00:15:13I tell you.

00:15:14I know you are.

00:15:14Oh, my.

00:15:24Oh, my.

00:15:39It really is.

00:15:40It really is.

00:15:40Okay, I'm going down!

00:15:56I would like your attention, please.

00:15:58We are pleased to have on our jury this year

00:16:01the world's most eminent scientist.

00:16:04He is currently visiting Empire City University

00:16:07where he studies a rare element, namely cerillium.

00:16:10I am particularly proud to welcome Dr. Stephen Hawking.

00:16:20Thank you for this warm welcome.

00:16:23I suffer from a disease that paralyzes me.

00:16:25I can't walk and I use this computer to talk.

00:16:29But I am not depressed because I have been given the gift of knowledge.

00:16:33It's just stories.

00:16:36Every morning I think about ending my life.

00:16:39You don't know how lucky you are.

00:16:41You can walk, talk, wipe your ass

00:16:44and you have the right to sex.

00:16:47I haven't had sex in years.

00:16:49My nurse is a lesbian and she's anything but hot.

00:16:54And if anyone wants to shoot up, I have some H that hurts.

00:16:58And, the great White Rasta, you yourself know what I'm talking about.

00:17:04So, amateurs, you bunch of sissies.

00:17:08Watch out when you're slowing down, you piece of shit.

00:17:24Talk to him, you idiot.

00:17:29Tell him, you idiot.

00:17:31Tell him how you feel.

00:17:33Where is he?

00:17:34Tell him.

00:17:35Tell him.

00:17:36Tell him.

00:17:37I'm going to smash you.

00:18:05Lace, don't fight.

00:18:07A fight, a fight, a fight.

00:18:11He is with you.

00:18:12Come on, take his head off.

00:18:17Go ahead again.

00:18:19This is too much.

00:18:20Come on, it's victory.

00:18:21Ah!

00:18:22No !

00:18:22Oh !

00:18:24No !

00:18:25Subtitling Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

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00:30:15Dr. Whitby, what brings you here?

00:30:18My uncle?

00:30:19Is your uncle bringing you?

00:30:20No, he is seriously injured.

00:30:22And you let him take the wheel?

00:30:23Now, if you'll excuse me, I must examine and ring this lady.

00:30:26Doctor, please, will my uncle survive?

00:30:28I'm not a betting type, but if you want to bet a few bucks, I'll only give it a week.

00:30:32Oh, that's not true, no!

00:30:33Oh, it's okay, it's a classic emotional reaction, but this injection will help overcome the shock.

00:30:37There you go, all sweet and good.

00:30:40This is your arm.

00:30:42Yes I know...

00:30:43First my parents, now him.

00:30:46It's like I'm bringing bad luck.

00:30:48Yes, when we see your life, we don't doubt it for a moment.

00:30:52But your uncle had faith in you and so did I.

00:30:54It's never too late to become the person you're meant to be.

00:31:11Hello, Rick.

00:31:11Who are you? Who told you my name?

00:31:14I am telepathic.

00:31:16Prove it.

00:31:17You just have to think of a number between one and one million.

00:31:20And I'll tell you which one it is.

00:31:23Nine.

00:31:23But not high up the road, you idiot.

00:31:26Follow me, you idiot.

00:31:28I am Professor Xavier.

00:31:32Welcome to my school.

00:31:34I created this establishment to help people with special gifts like you.

00:31:39Our students learn to harness their incredible talents.

00:31:42And to use them for the greater good of humanity.

00:31:44We have young people who can walk through walls.

00:31:52Others who think they can walk through walls.

00:31:56Some faces may be familiar to you.

00:31:58Like Wolverine's.

00:32:00Other mutants you never even imagined existed as eternal humans.

00:32:04Most of our students were born with their power.

00:32:08Others, like you, developed them later.

00:32:12Oh, wouldn't that be...

00:32:12Yes, it is Barry Bonds of the Giants.

00:32:15When he arrived here, he weighed only 59 kilos.

00:32:18When you're loaded with steroids, nothing can resist you.

00:32:21Go easy on the pills, Barry.

00:32:28Why did you bring me here?

00:32:30Because you have the potential to be the best.

00:32:32Well, I didn't even steal.

00:32:33Once you have grasped the true nature of heroism,

00:32:37you will fly away.

00:32:38But first, I'll give you the secret recipe

00:32:40to become a superhero.

00:32:42Hey, Tornal, I think your butt looks a little bigger.

00:32:48Professor, what about the secret? Can I know more?

00:32:50To tell the truth...

00:32:51Xavier!

00:32:52Oh, fuck it!

00:32:54Great !

00:32:55Are you going to be able to explain to me what she was doing before he heard her sign?

00:32:57But my chick, I don't see anyone.

00:32:59You don't see anyone.

00:33:02The invisible woman?

00:33:03Apparently, not totally invisible.

00:33:05You took a little better care of your boyfriend.

00:33:06Maybe nothing would have happened.

00:33:07Help.

00:33:08This puffy girl is crazy.

00:33:10I'm going to give you a good beating.

00:33:11I'm going to teach you a moment that respects you.

00:33:13Oh, mother, I'm not tearing you away!

00:33:14You just came, but you won't feel it from him!

00:33:16Oh !

00:33:16Ah!

00:33:17Ah!

00:33:18Yeah !

00:33:19It's hot!

00:33:20And now, what are you doing?

00:33:21Do you want another visible one or ace?

00:33:23Let it go, it's fine.

00:33:24I'm leaving.

00:33:25How could you do this to me?

00:33:27To your children?

00:33:29To your newborn baby?

00:33:30How can you be sure this baby is mine?

00:33:32Well, you just have to look at what he can do.

00:33:34Oh shit !

00:33:40I will never know the secret to becoming a superhero.

00:33:43Do you want me to tell you the secret?

00:33:45Approach.

00:33:48Make yourself a costume, you stain!

00:33:51No, but I swear, they get dumber and dumber every year.

00:33:55A costume...

00:34:04Rick, you...

00:34:29Oh, damn!

00:34:33Damn, it's a massacre!

00:34:35You look like a superhero, Makai!

00:34:39Oh, I loved it, your mask is dead!

00:34:40By the way, how do you breathe?

00:34:43What is that noise?

00:34:45You put some kind of air injector in your mask!

00:34:49Honestly, you did well!

00:34:51I guess you can see through the fabric?

00:34:53Obviously !

00:34:54There, I admit, cousin, you did great!

00:34:56I am impressed!

00:34:57Impressed by I impressed!

00:35:03Hey, this is my place!

00:35:11You're sitting on my gargoyle, move out of there!

00:35:13Excuse me ?

00:35:14First of all, what are you doing here?

00:35:15I focus on monitoring the city.

00:35:17Well, that's exactly what I plan to do.

00:35:19So if you don't leave, something tells me we're going to have to share.

00:35:21Ah, well, okay, does it work or not?

00:35:23Ah, I'm not coming tonight.

00:35:27Holy cow, not me!

00:35:28What is your name?

00:35:30Johnny Storm.

00:35:31My name is Dragonfly.

00:35:32And what is your power?

00:35:33What is my power?

00:35:34Make some room.

00:35:37Flame Forward!

00:35:43Ah!

00:35:44Ah!

00:35:44What a mess!

00:35:46Find a blanket, anything!

00:35:48No !

00:35:49Ah, it doesn't work!

00:35:50Grab a juicer!

00:35:51Are you stupid or what?

00:35:56Stop!

00:35:57But where did you put your brain?

00:35:59Sorry, my bad!

00:36:10Rick, once you grasp the true nature of heroism,

00:36:18you will fly away.

00:36:21Shit !

00:36:26Mysterious Man Arrests Purse Thief!

00:36:35What is his name?

00:36:36Insectoman!

00:36:38Who is the green man?

00:36:40Dragonfly!

00:36:41Are you moving forward or backward?

00:36:44This dragonfly!

00:36:46He's not even a hero!

00:36:49He has no...

00:36:49While I have...

00:36:50Fuck, that's not true!

00:36:52Look at it!

00:36:54He didn't even steal!

00:36:56A flying insect that didn't fly!

00:36:59I can fly!

00:37:04I can fly!

00:37:07It's a shock, it just happened!

00:37:09Tom Cruise didn't steal, he died!

00:37:12Strom, do you have the results of my tests?

00:37:15I'm afraid you have to kill every day to live every day!

00:37:20Unless you have a cerillium crystal!

00:37:24Take a look!

00:37:25Hawking's lab is in the science tower, I could take a look around!

00:37:28Would you steal cerillium?

00:37:30No! Not me!

00:37:32But maybe it will be someone who is inside me!

00:37:34Someone who wants at all costs...

00:37:37SURVIVE!

00:37:38A piece of glass!

00:37:41A piece of glass in my eye!

00:37:43Shit !

00:37:44Is it painful?

00:37:44Yes, yes it is painful!

00:37:46Yes, yes, if you could lift, lift your eyelids with your fingers!

00:37:49Spread your eyelids with your two fingers!

00:37:51Two, two, you say?

00:37:52With two fingers?

00:37:52Are your fingers clean?

00:37:53That's it, now roll your eyeball!

00:37:55I do it, I make it spin!

00:37:57Take it out with another piece of glass!

00:37:59It's going in your head!

00:38:01I'll get some tweezers!

00:38:02You will learn everything about the dragonfly, the greatest of all heroes!

00:38:07I can have one, I don't know!

00:38:07You will know everything about her!

00:38:11The dragonfly has struck again!

00:38:14We buy dragonfly photos for cash!

00:38:19No, you didn't understand!

00:38:22I want the article on my desktop!

00:38:24In two seconds you will say!

00:38:25Who are you?

00:38:26I was wondering if you might have a position available...

00:38:29A position?

00:38:29You have the nerve to come all the way here to ask me if I have a job!

00:38:32I'm the editor-in-chief!

00:38:33I know the mayor of Venus!

00:38:35Hamburgers have premonitory dreams!

00:38:37They gave me...

00:38:37Don't worry, we share the building with a psychiatric hospital!

00:38:40Bad news, boss, we still don't have any dragonfly pictures!

00:38:43Damn, we needed them for tomorrow's cover!

00:38:45Wait until you see this!

00:38:50Wow, it almost looks like...

00:38:53Are you the dragonfly?

00:38:55Oh no, no, no, no, wait, look there!

00:38:58Oh yeah, that's professional photography!

00:39:00On police frequencies, there is talk of a major operation currently taking place on campus!

00:39:03We're going to need pictures!

00:39:05Little one, I want...

00:39:05Where is he?

00:39:11He's the police chief!

00:39:24We surround the building!

00:39:25Come out with your hands in the air!

00:39:27What is this thing?

00:39:31I am the hourglass man!

00:39:48And your time has come!

00:39:51Hi Beryl!

00:39:57Have you seen?

00:39:58The hourglass is still moving!

00:40:00But what is it made of?

00:40:01Hi Beryl!

00:40:02No point in resisting me!

00:40:08I will fight until my last breath!

00:40:10Like the flowing sand, I am eternal and relentless!

00:40:14The bad guys never win hourglass!

00:40:16You will pay for all your crimes and justice will be...

00:40:19Stop!

00:40:20Hey ho! Stop!

00:40:21Stop!

00:40:23How are you ?

00:40:25No !

00:40:32Titanium blades, they cut diamond!

00:40:35Too bad I don't wear any diamonds!

00:40:38I wish I could have stayed longer, dragonfly!

00:40:48But sorry, I don't have time!

00:40:55Titanium blades!

00:40:59Looks like someone knows your weakness!

00:41:01Isn't that my weak point?

00:41:02Oh, sorry, I forgot, your weakness is that you can't fly!

00:41:05Maybe with a partner!

00:41:06I don't need help!

00:41:12I'm fine on my own, I'm managing just fine!

00:41:15We can see that she means a lot to you!

00:41:17What ?

00:41:18Ah, uh, oh no, it's...

00:41:19Finally that...

00:41:20She's dating someone else!

00:41:21Maybe it's better this way!

00:41:23After all, it might be dangerous being Dragonfly's girlfriend!

00:41:27I don't know what to do, Aunt Lucille!

00:41:29I love it!

00:41:30So keep going!

00:41:31But remember that to get to your heart, your enemies will attack the people who are dearest to you!

00:41:36Be careful not to hurt those you love!

00:41:39Whoever it is, I don't care who the dragonfly is!

00:41:45He's completely outdated, we don't need a comic book hero!

00:41:48What this city needs is more cops!

00:41:50Jules!

00:41:51Oh, Rick!

00:42:04I heard you're auditioning for a role!

00:42:06They are magnificent!

00:42:08You are always there to encourage me in what I do!

00:42:11Why isn't Lance like you?

00:42:13There's something you're trying to hide from me, I can feel it!

00:42:18Something secret!

00:42:20A truth buried deep inside you!

00:42:22Uh...

00:42:24Yeah...

00:42:25It's true that I...

00:42:27Your identity must be secrets, Rick!

00:42:32You look like a superhero, Makai!

00:42:35Every month you will lose blood from your vagina!

00:42:41Uh... I have...

00:42:44Nothing at all!

00:42:46Nothing at all!

00:42:52I have to go then!

00:42:56You're a good friend!

00:43:01Hey, beautiful! Where are you going?

00:43:02Hey guys, get her!

00:43:03Oh, shit!

00:43:05Basically, it's shit!

00:43:07I have a question that will make me happy!

00:43:09Hey, don't go!

00:43:10You're a patient who's going to make me not choose your place!

00:43:13Oh, war!

00:43:14Oh, well!

00:43:15Ok!

00:43:16No hey!

00:43:19Hey!

00:43:20This is evil, insane!

01:05:27That works !

01:05:33Come here, Dragonfly. Look at these dying people.

01:05:48Where am I? What's going on?

01:05:51You are with me.

01:05:53Early morning.

01:05:56What ?

01:06:01Dragonfly!

01:06:02Ten seconds to immortality.

01:06:04No !

01:06:05Rosie O'Donnell poses naked?

01:06:07No.

01:06:08There you go, you get it, you're against relaxation.

01:06:19Can you take this thing off for me?

01:06:22Yeah.

01:06:23We don't have time anymore, forget it!

01:06:26Oh shit !

01:06:27It's over.

01:06:37Dragonfly!

01:06:38Jill!

01:06:39I've got you!

01:06:40Rick!

01:06:41You didn't really think I was going to dump the only girl I loved, did you?

01:06:49Great! But we keep falling!

01:06:52Oh dear! Only I could fly!

01:06:55Maybe I'm not cut out for aeronautics. Maybe I was meant to have a normal job, like an accountant or a sports teacher...

01:07:00But this building is really tall!

01:07:02Rick! I'm not afraid of what might happen to us. If I die, I'll die fulfilled in your arms.

01:07:08You are my hero, Rick Riker, and I love you.

01:07:11Where is it? We're saved! There are only fifty floors left! Hang on!

01:07:21Thank you, Dragonfly. Thanks to you, our life has finally found peace again.

01:07:38You said it, Dr. Hawking. All's well, I end well.

01:07:43If we go get a bite to eat, I'll watch. Okay?

01:07:46Who am I? I am Rick Riker. I am Dragonfly. And as long as there is crime and injustice, I will remain... a superhero.

01:08:01I am the Hourglass!

01:08:03Here we go!

01:08:04Here we go!

01:08:05Here we go!

01:08:08Here we go!

01:08:11Here we go!

01:12:20I don't know what you do to your poor victims that makes you younger, but the effects only last 24 hours.

01:12:27What would happen if I killed 28 people at once? Would I live another month?

01:12:31If it's February, yes?

01:12:35You are the hourglass man.

01:12:40You shouldn't have seen that, my dear.

01:12:43This little wipe might just help you forget.

01:12:47What the hell are you doing?

01:12:50What the hell are you doing?

01:12:56Take me.

01:12:58Oh, me.

01:13:00That...

01:13:00It sticks rolled up.

01:13:03Really chokes me.

01:13:04You have no idea.

01:13:04I'll give it to you if you're interested.

01:13:06He touched my skin.

01:13:07I give it to you.

01:13:08You pick it up when you leave.

01:13:10Old McDonald's wants a Balibalo woman on his motorcycle.

01:13:12Bingo.

01:13:13It is...

01:13:15Tom?

01:13:22I got you.

01:13:28No, please.

01:13:30I...

01:13:30I got it.

01:13:32I have control over myself.

01:13:33Are you still doing it?

01:13:34I don't do anything at all.

01:13:36No, I'm just...

01:13:37I wanted to ask you...

01:13:39Stop.

01:13:40If you agreed...

01:13:41The farm.

01:13:42The question is...

01:13:43Do you confirm the rumors that say...

01:13:45You wanted...

01:13:45Stop.

01:13:46You stated that...

01:13:47Stop.

01:13:48All right.

01:13:49Okay.

01:13:49You said you agreed to come and that...

01:13:51No.

01:13:52You are so ready to tell us about...

01:13:53The farm.

01:13:59Douchebag, he's the douchebag of the year.

01:14:03Now, ain't he great folks, ain't he grand, the douchebag of the year.

01:14:09Douchebag, Mr. Douchebag of the year.

01:14:15Look at him smile, look at him shine.

01:14:18He's the douchebag of the douchebag of the year.

01:14:24Here's the mutant who torches Wolverine with his bare hands.

01:14:26Where are your furry friends?

01:14:27How do you want me to do it?

01:14:28Excuse ?

01:14:29Your excuses won't do me any good.

01:14:31Eh ?

01:14:32It's not great.

01:14:34But no, you got two elbows, man.

01:14:36What are you doing right now?

01:14:38The bellies!

01:14:47We have to take out the trash.

01:14:48People throw crazy stuff.

01:14:53Fantastic.

01:14:54Do you work with bellflies?

01:14:55Yes, yes, yes.

01:14:56We work together.

01:14:57We're a team.

01:14:58And where do you get your strength from?

01:15:01Me ?

01:15:02Where do I get my incredible strength from?

01:15:04I'm taking some shit!

01:15:06White powder.

01:15:08It draws its strength from white powder.

01:15:10If you allow me.

01:15:11In 2003, Mr. Landers received the Grand Prix National Scientifique for the invention of the non-adhesive toilet seat.

01:15:18Oh, this thing saved my grandmother's life.

01:15:21She's tough.

01:15:21What's with these manners? Can't you see there's a queue?

01:15:37No, you killed him any old way.

01:15:41That's how it is.

01:15:43That's better.

01:15:48Fuck it.

01:15:49This is so unfair.

01:15:50These people have nothing.

01:15:51Why do we have two billion dollars?

01:15:54Actually, your grandfather left us three billion dollars and I made some bad investments.

01:15:57But you don't have to worry about the future.

01:15:59I found my editorial.

01:16:01When you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they've ever known before.

01:16:04Does that make you gay?

01:16:04Yes, 100%.

01:16:06Nickel.

01:16:11In white, he'll think twice before coming back to steal your chumgums.

01:16:16What I am asking you is particularly difficult, but you must identify the remains.

01:16:22Isn't that my aunt?

01:16:23Yes, that's why it's so difficult.

01:16:29How is Lucille?

01:16:39He was given a powerful sleeping pill.

01:16:41They made him watch three hours of spearfishing.

01:16:54I want to become a dancer.

01:16:57I bet you're awesome.

01:16:58I find myself rather flexible.

01:17:02Unless you have cerillium, could you then design a device powerful enough to drain the life force of several thousand people and increase the potential of your own cells?

01:17:13Strom, you are a genius.

01:17:15Wikipedia.

01:17:19And damn.

01:17:20Subtitling Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

01:17:26Subtitling Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

01:17:56Subtitling Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

01:18:26Subtitling Canadian Broadcasting Corporation

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Spider-Man - Film Complet en Français ( Parodie , Comédie )

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