For some, writing is a skill. But for Ricky Lee, it’s survival. ✍🏻
In this episode, we sit down with National Artist for Film and Broadcast Arts Ricky Lee to uncover the story behind the storyteller. From growing up as an orphan to writing countless stories, Ricky shares how a life of loss, longing and restless imagination shaped the way he writes, and ultimately lives.
Paano nga ba gawing kalakasan ang isang kahinaan? Bakit mahalaga ang mga sugat at bubog sa damdamin? Ang kanyang malikot na pagkukuwento, panoorin sa episode!
In this episode, we sit down with National Artist for Film and Broadcast Arts Ricky Lee to uncover the story behind the storyteller. From growing up as an orphan to writing countless stories, Ricky shares how a life of loss, longing and restless imagination shaped the way he writes, and ultimately lives.
Paano nga ba gawing kalakasan ang isang kahinaan? Bakit mahalaga ang mga sugat at bubog sa damdamin? Ang kanyang malikot na pagkukuwento, panoorin sa episode!
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00Sa mundo ng panitikan at pelikulang Pilipino,
00:02iisa ang pangalang tumatayo bilang haligi at inspirasyon.
00:07Mula sa kanyang mga makabuluhang nobela,
00:09hanggang sa kanyang mga di malilimutan mga screenplay,
00:13hinubog ni Ricky Lee ang ating pagtingin sa mga kwento at sa ating mga sarili.
00:17Ngayong araw, mas kilalanin natin siya dito sa Tower Talks with PR.
00:23Ayun, malikot at maliko ang proseso ko at ang buhay ko.
00:28And tinanggap ko na yun. Hindi ako linear na tao, I think.
00:33Yung mga nakikita nila, napaghihirap, oppression.
00:36At ako, dinaanan ko yan.
00:38Naamoy ko yung kagutuman sa kalsada.
00:43Naranasan kong sa apartment ang inuulam namin, asin o asukal.
00:47So nakikita ko yung unfairness ng buhay.
00:52Kaya napakadali sa akin na maging aktivista.
00:53So I realized na marami akong open wounds
00:57and marami rin akong wounds in my life na nagsara at naging peklat.
01:01And so, naglalakad akong maraming sugat at maraming peklat sa katawan.
01:08You become stronger pag nanggaling ka sa weakness
01:11kasi kinukontra mo eh.
01:13Tinuturn around mo eh.
01:14And I think yun yung lesson namin eh.
01:16Nag-persist kami.
01:18Nag-work hard kami.
01:20Nangarap kami.
01:21Hindi kami gumibat.
01:22Hindi kami bumitaw eh.
01:23Magandang araw Sir Ricky.
01:30Magandang hapon.
01:31Siguro mag-umbisa po tayo dun sa mga pinaka-bago nyong likha.
01:36Itong kalahating bagha na na-publish po, na-release last year.
01:41Ito po yung kwento of parang umaga coming out story ng karakter.
01:45Oo.
01:46Bali yun yung latest novel ko.
01:47So, kwento ng isang pamilya na susundan natin sa loob ng 50 years.
01:53Mala nung 70s, martial law, hanggang present time.
01:57And yung pamilyang yun mayroong mga may gay, may trans, may non-binary through time.
02:03So, in a way, tungkol sa LGBTQIA plus community.
02:08But at the same time, tungkol sa isang pamilyang Pilipino.
02:12And in general, well, tungkol sa pag-ibig, pagmamahal.
02:16Oo.
02:17Nakakatawa, sir, dun yung isang part na sinasabi nung isang karakter dun sa kanyang nanay na,
02:22I'm gay, ganyan.
02:23Tapos, sabi nung nanay, oh, ano ngayon?
02:26Oo.
02:27Kasi may mga stories po talaga na gano'n, di ba?
02:30Na pag coming out sila, hindi naman nagugulat yung mga mahal sa buhay.
02:34Maraming hindi na nagugulat at maraming tangkap na.
02:37Pero marami pa rin hindi eh.
02:39Like, kumisan may umo-order sa amin ng libro, yung iba, nakikiusap na maglagay ako ng dedication.
02:49May the last, these past weeks, may mga nagsasabi halimbawa na 20 years old po ako,
02:57pero hindi pa ako makapag-come out kasi sobrang religyoso yung pamilya ko.
03:00At galit sila sa mga bakla.
03:03And maski yung first love ko, hindi na tuloy kasi hindi rin ako magpag-come out.
03:08So, medyo nagsasuffer pa ako ngayon.
03:11Pwede po bang pakisulat ng ilang words to ease my pain?
03:15May mga gano'n akong natatanggap na mensahe.
03:18So, sinusulat ako naman yung dedication.
03:20So, it makes me realize na, yeah, no matter how nag-progress na tayo sa pagtingin natin sa LGBTQ community,
03:29andun pa rin yung oppression, suppression.
03:32Nung sinulat niyo po ang librong ito, yun po ba yung parang pakay niyo?
03:37Is that what you had in mind, to help people with their coming out?
03:40Partly, yeah, partly.
03:42But in the end, ang daming kwento sa loob eh, na kumisan naiipon eh, as you go through life eh, as a writer.
03:49So, kumisan sa daming kwento sa loob, dumarating yung time na, ah, panahon na nitong kwentong ito.
03:55Ah, panahon na ng kwentong ito.
03:56So, like Kalahating Bagari, actually, that time, nagsusulat ako ng memoirs ko, na hindi ko matuloy-tuloy.
04:02Then, suddenly, sumingit itong Kalahating Bagari.
04:05Kasi, sa memoirs ko, tinignan ko yung diaries ko noong 70s and 80s, may mga naalala ko noon.
04:14Sabi ko, pwede itong big material lang.
04:16And so, siningit ko itong Kalahating Bagari.
04:20Ah, tinabi ko muna yung memoirs, and so, nasulat ko ito.
04:25Ito yata ang pinakamabilis kung nasulat na novela.
04:28Five months, six months.
04:29Usually, it takes me a year or more.
04:31Sir, sabi niyo parang minsan, parang nasa timing yan.
04:35Yes.
04:35Kung kailan ilalabas ang kwento.
04:37Parang yun yung nangyari dun sa kabilang sa manokamala.
04:39Yeah, oo.
04:40Biglang, parang okay na nailabas to mula sa loob.
04:43But the problem with me is, magulo ang timing ko as a person, hindi ako tumatawib sa straight na path.
04:54Mahilig ako sa liko-liko.
04:56So, like, ginagawa ko yung memoirs, biglang ito.
04:59May sinusultat ako ng script, may papasok na another idea, halilipat ako doon.
05:03So, medyo, ayun, malikot at maliko ang proseso ko at ang buhay ko.
05:11And tinanggap ko na yun.
05:12Kaya madalas, tatlo-tatlo, apat-apat ng projects sa hinggaan ko, ako sabay-sabay.
05:16When I was writing Moral, I was writing Himala and Huffloss.
05:19Sabay-sabay, kasi nga, ayun, kailangan lumiko eh.
05:23And open ako sa mga liko.
05:24Hindi ako linear na tao, I think.
05:28Ang galingan na, sir, kasi yung ibang tao, hindi nila kayang pagsabayin.
05:31Pero kayo, parang doon kayo nagtithrive kapag sabay-sabay.
05:34Yes, hindi dahil mahusay ako.
05:36Kundi dahil mahina ang concentration ko, maligalig ako.
05:41Restless ako.
05:42Hindi ako mapakali.
05:44Like, pag nasa bakit, gusto kong lumabas.
05:46Pag nasa sakyan, kailangan may ginagawa.
05:48Kailangan punuin kung ano man ginagawa yung time.
05:53Yung utak ko, laging maraming laman.
05:54Hindi pwedeng bakante.
05:56So, madali ako mabore pag may ginagawa ko ng isang script.
06:00And pag nabore na ako, lipat na lang dito.
06:02Then lipat.
06:03So, hindi dahil mahusay ako, kundi dahil mahina ang concentration ko.
06:07Hindi ako makafocus.
06:09And it was a defect, a weakness for a long time sa tingin ko.
06:14Kasi nakikita ko yung mga kasamahan kong nagsusulat.
06:16Nakaka-focus sila.
06:17Isahan magsulat ng script at natatapos nila.
06:20Ang organize nila.
06:22Sabi ko ba't ako ganito kalikot at kaligalig?
06:24But through time, na-realize ko na
06:26kailangan tanggapin mo kung ano ka eh.
06:29And then, make the best of it.
06:31Or turn it around.
06:32So, when I turned it around and made it work,
06:34sabi ng mga tao,
06:35hukusay mo naman,
06:36kapag sulat ka ng tatlong scripts na sabay-sabay.
06:39So, naging...
06:40Naging strength bigla.
06:41Naging strength bigla na hinahangaan nila.
06:44Sabi ko, kung alam lang nila na nagsimula yun sa weakness.
06:47Mulang pag-gising hanggang matutulog na,
06:50tumatakbo yung mind ko.
06:52Hindi nagpapahinga.
06:54Kung anong sinusulat ko nasa mind ko,
06:56kung anong problema, usually may problema eh.
06:58Sabi ko sulat eh.
06:58Paano ba ito?
06:59Anong gagayang ko rito?
07:00Paano mabubulgar yung katotohanan and so on?
07:04So, nasa mind ko yun.
07:05Hindi ko matanggal.
07:07Kaya yung mga doktor ko,
07:08ang sinasabi nila sa akin,
07:10you have to slow down.
07:12Kailangan...
07:13Relax muna.
07:14Relax ka muna.
07:15Hindi ko magawa.
07:16Pag tinatry ko mag-relax,
07:17lalo ako nata-tense.
07:19Kaya nakakarelate ako dun, sir.
07:21Pag nasanay ka na,
07:23pag tumigil ka,
07:25parang lalong nawalan ka ng silbi
07:27at lalo kang nara-restless.
07:28But when you keep moving,
07:31parang it just flows eh.
07:33Parang mas relaxed ka eh.
07:35But I've been trying to slow down a little lately.
07:38Nagbemeditate ako,
07:40nagbibreathing,
07:41pero marirealize ko,
07:42ang dami ko na maling gusto ng gawin.
07:44So, sige na,
07:44ang daming kailangan gawin eh.
07:46And it makes me happy
07:49na maraming ginagawa.
07:51Siguro, sir,
07:52kay tipong pag nagme-meditate kayo,
07:54mas lalong marami kayong iniisim.
07:57Yes.
07:57Although sabi nila,
07:58hayaan lang,
07:58sige, alis, et cetera,
08:00and so on.
08:00So, okay.
08:02And kumisa,
08:03may biglang papasok na bagong idea,
08:04pwede ito magandang
08:05ipasok ito sa isang kwento eh.
08:07So, kailangan kong in-note down.
08:10So, yun.
08:11But,
08:12I'm happy being busy.
08:14Ang nai-imagine ko, sir,
08:15sa kwento niyo,
08:17parang isang batang malikot.
08:19Siguro.
08:20Kasi very active.
08:21Nung bata po ba kayo,
08:22ganun na yun?
08:22Marami kayong iniisip,
08:24marami kayong ginagawa.
08:25Hindi ko,
08:25siguro,
08:27yeah, I think.
08:28Pero,
08:30hindi ko masyadong maalala.
08:32Ang maalala ko,
08:35more than malikot,
08:35maligalig,
08:37yung,
08:37I cannot stay put.
08:39Kailangang gumagala.
08:41Kailangang pumuputan ko saan-saan.
08:44Looking back,
08:45kasi nang napansin ko yun,
08:46and when I was writing my memoirs,
08:47iniisip ko na,
08:48ba't ba ako ganito?
08:49Looking back,
08:50nakikita ko na,
08:51ah, siguro dahil sa
08:52karanasan ko.
08:54Kasi,
08:54namatay ang nanay ko
08:56when I was five years old.
08:57And then,
08:57a few years later,
08:58namatay ang tatay ko.
08:59Inampun ako.
09:00Five years old pa lang,
09:01inampun ako ng mga relatives.
09:03And then,
09:04lumayas ako nung
09:05fourth year high school.
09:06And then,
09:07kung saan-saan ako tumira sa Maynila.
09:08So, siguro yung fact
09:09na wala akong
09:10talagang family
09:11na rooted ako doon,
09:13at kung saan-saan ako tumitira,
09:14nakikitira,
09:16lipat ng lipat,
09:17siguro,
09:17in a way,
09:18it did something to me.
09:19It made me restless.
09:20It made me root,
09:22rootless,
09:23walang roots.
09:23So,
09:26hindi ako makasettle.
09:28And nakita ko na baka
09:29ang pinakamagandang
09:30paraanang para mabuhay
09:31is not to settle,
09:32but to keep moving around.
09:34And so,
09:34siguro yun,
09:35doon na-create yung
09:36being ko
09:36as like that.
09:37Kasi nang tinignan ko
09:38yung mga
09:38karanasan ko sa buhay,
09:40ito yung sinusulat ko,
09:41it keeps moving around,
09:42malikot,
09:43like kalating bahagari,
09:4450 years,
09:46and then,
09:46lumilipat-lipat-lipat.
09:47Sino ba talaga
09:47ang bida dito?
09:48Siya ba?
09:49Yung nanay ba niya?
09:51This character?
09:52And so on and so forth.
09:53So,
09:54nakita ko na sa mga works ko,
09:55maligalig din eh.
09:57It goes left and right
09:58at liko na liko.
09:59Kasi siguro nga yung buhay ko,
10:00hindi siya straight path.
10:03So,
10:04tinanggap ko,
10:05in-embrace ko.
10:06Marami po ba kayong likong dinaanan
10:08bago nyo na-realize
10:09na gusto nyo maging isang
10:10manunulat
10:11or script writer?
10:13Kunti lang.
10:14Yun ang isa sa pinakasigurado
10:15sa buhay ko siguro.
10:16Walang bata pa,
10:16gusto kong maging doktor,
10:17gusto kong maging pari,
10:18gusto kong maging teacher
10:19and so on and so forth.
10:20But around
10:21grade 6
10:23or first year,
10:25gusto ko na maging writer
10:26numpay.
10:28And,
10:28the moment na na-decide ko yun,
10:30na-realize ko na
10:31wala akong alam
10:31na ibang kayang gawin eh.
10:33Never akong natutong
10:34magluto,
10:35mag-drive,
10:36magsayaw,
10:36kumanta.
10:38Very clumsy ako sa buhay ko.
10:39Up to now,
10:42ang feeling ko
10:42very clumsy
10:43and inept ako
10:44for life.
10:46So,
10:46pero writing,
10:47sabi ko kaya ko to.
10:48So,
10:48since high school,
10:50nag-focus na ako
10:51na maging writer.
10:52Pero,
10:53sa tingin nyo,
10:54saan po galing yung
10:55hilig nyo sa pagsusulat?
10:57Is it because
10:58marami kayong
10:59napanood na pelikula
11:00ng bata ngayon?
11:00Noong five years old ako,
11:03yung kapitbahay namin
11:05and eventually,
11:05yung yaya namin,
11:07binabasaan ako ng comics.
11:08So,
11:09sa comics ako nagsimula.
11:10Sa probinsya po to siya?
11:11Sa probinsya,
11:11sa diet,
11:12sa Bicol.
11:12Binabasaan niya ako ng comics
11:14and so,
11:14natuto ko magbasa,
11:15maski hindi pa ako maroon magbasa
11:17kasi na-associate mo naman yung pictures
11:19dun sa mga salita eh.
11:21And so,
11:21nagkakwento siya,
11:22nagbabasa siya ng comics
11:23and then eventually,
11:25dahil gusto kong lumayas,
11:27mula nang inampun ako,
11:28gusto ko nang lumayas,
11:29diba?
11:30Pag ampun ka naman,
11:31you feel you don't belong.
11:32You feel na,
11:34hindi ito yung mundo ko eh,
11:35don't belong eh.
11:35You feel na outsider ka eh.
11:37So,
11:37layas ko ng layas ng layas,
11:39hindi naman ako mag-succeed
11:40na makalayas.
11:41So,
11:42ang naging paglalayas na ginagawa ako,
11:44pumunta ako sa library,
11:46nagbabasa ng libro.
11:48Pag nagbabasa ako ng libro,
11:50ang nagiging feeling ko ngayon,
11:52hindi na ako yung
11:53payat,
11:54nasakitin,
11:55na may inferiority complex,
11:56na gustong lumayas,
11:58na bata.
12:00Parang,
12:01may nababasa akong mga libro
12:03na gustong gusto ko,
12:04ang feeling ko,
12:05parang itong librong ito
12:06na naiintindihan niya ako.
12:08Parang itong librong ito,
12:09nakikita niya ako.
12:10Alam niya yung pinagdadaanan ko.
12:12So,
12:12I started embracing those books
12:14at marami pala sila
12:15na nakakaintindi sa akin.
12:17And so,
12:17naging parang
12:18langit yung library
12:21where,
12:22andito itong mga librong ito
12:23na nakikita ako
12:24at naiintindihan ako.
12:25After that,
12:26I discovered the movie house
12:29and nagsimula ko
12:30manood ng sine
12:30sa front row.
12:32And again,
12:32the same feeling,
12:33may mga karatas na ito
12:34na pinapanood ko.
12:35Parang nakikita nila ako
12:36at kinakausap nila ako.
12:38Alam nila yung pinagdadaanan ko.
12:40At hindi ko kailangan lumayas agad
12:42kasi parang
12:43kinukup-kup nila ako ngayon.
12:45So,
12:46so,
12:47mula noon,
12:47inisip kong,
12:48gusto kong gumawa rin
12:49ng mga kwento
12:49na makakagawa
12:51ng ganitong efekto
12:52sa ibang mga tao.
12:53na pag may ginawa akong kwento,
12:57malalaman nila
12:57na naiintindihan ko kayo.
12:59Andito ako,
13:00hindi kayo nag-iisa.
13:01And so,
13:02I think that's how
13:03the dream
13:05started.
13:07And so,
13:07I started writing stories
13:08on my own
13:09until eventually
13:10nung fourth year
13:11high school ako,
13:12nabasa ko sa
13:13Filipino Free Press,
13:14yung Filipino counterpart
13:15ng Filipino Free Press,
13:17na tumatanggap sila
13:18ng short stories,
13:20maski sa mga baguhan,
13:21at may bayad.
13:22So,
13:22nagpadala ako ng,
13:23gumawa ko ng short story,
13:24hindi ako maroon mag-type,
13:25nakitype ako doon
13:26sa repair shop,
13:26tinulungan ako ng mayari.
13:28Nagpadala ako ng short story
13:29dito sa Manila,
13:31na may kasamang sulat
13:32na sinasabing
13:33orphan ako,
13:35ganito yung pangarap ko,
13:36I feel alone,
13:37and et cetera, et cetera.
13:39Tinanggap yung short story,
13:40I think dahil maganda
13:41yung sulat ko.
13:42More than the short story.
13:44More than the story.
13:44I think na-touch siya doon.
13:45Tinanggap,
13:46and I got 50 pesos
13:47at that time.
13:48So, with that money,
13:49I realized na,
13:50I will be a writer.
13:51I can be a writer.
13:52I can earn a living
13:54being a writer.
13:55And so, lumayas ako.
13:56Sa mga nagampun sa akin,
13:58two weeks before graduation,
14:00lumayas ako,
14:01nakitira muna ako
14:02sa isang kaklase,
14:03then graduate kami,
14:04then that very evening,
14:06lumayas ako ng dahit.
14:08Nagpunta ng Maynila,
14:09kasama yung apat na kaklase.
14:11I didn't know where we were going.
14:12I don't know kung may trabaho
14:13ang maghihintay.
14:14Wala akong pera,
14:15except kung magkano yung kakunti.
14:16Nga nandun.
14:17Pero,
14:18ang feeling ko,
14:19nakalayas ako.
14:21I wanted to do this.
14:23And I think that's the biggest decision,
14:26the most important decision
14:27I've made in my life.
14:28Since then po ba,
14:30nakabalik na po kayo ng diet?
14:31Ah, yes.
14:32Every,
14:33well, it took years
14:34bago ako bumalik.
14:35Pero ngayon,
14:35every fiesta,
14:36June 24,
14:38bumabalik ako.
14:39Nagdudunit ako ng books
14:40dun sa library.
14:42Namatay na yung librarian
14:43dun na mabait
14:43at nagtudunit ako
14:44ng libro dun.
14:47Nagkipagkasundo ako
14:47sa mga kamagana ko
14:48ng nilayasan ko.
14:51So, okay na.
14:52I'm okay.
14:52I go back once a year.
14:54Nung pumunta po kayo
14:55nung naglayas kayo
14:56ng fourth year high school,
14:57hindi pa po kayo
14:57tanggap sa kolehyo nun?
14:59Wala pa.
15:00High school graduate ako
15:01at wala naman akong pera.
15:03Part ng reason
15:04kaya ako lumayas
15:04I wanted to study in Manila.
15:06Walang perang pamparal
15:07at hindi ako po
15:07din pag-aralin.
15:09So,
15:10wala pa.
15:10So,
15:11tumira kami sa
15:13squatters area
15:14for a while
15:15nung apat kong kasamahan.
15:17Bali lima kami
15:18dun sa isang kamag-anak nila
15:20and then nakahanap silang
15:21trabaho sa factory
15:21ng payong
15:23and eventually
15:24nakahanap akong
15:25trabaho sa waiter.
15:26Dalas kami.
15:27And then nag-run to me
15:28ng apartment.
15:30Lima kami sa apartment.
15:33Aapat yung silya.
15:35So, yung sunat ko dun sa
15:36book of essays ko eh.
15:37Kulang na silya.
15:38Tuwing kumakain kami
15:40eh may isang
15:41nakatayo
15:43o nasasahig.
15:44Pero ako dahil
15:44ako yung pinakapayat,
15:45ako pinakasakitin,
15:48ako pinakamahiyahin,
15:49ako yung pinakaalagain,
15:50hindi nila ako pinapatayo.
15:52So,
15:53pinangako ko
15:53sa sarili ko na
15:54ah,
15:55balang araw
15:55pupunoan ko
15:56yung kulang na silya.
15:57Partly because
15:58yung
15:59gratitude ko
16:00dito sa mga kaibigan ko
16:01na inalagaan nila ako.
16:02So,
16:03I think it took about
16:04a year
16:05ng pagtatrabaho
16:07bago ako
16:08nakapag-aral
16:09kasi para makapagpun
16:10ng pera.
16:11So,
16:11naging waiter ako
16:12sa
16:13Demarks
16:14and then
16:15nag-accounting clerk
16:16ako sa isang factory.
16:18And yan,
16:19kung ano nung trabaho,
16:19nag-sellsman ako,
16:20et cetera, et cetera,
16:21just to survive.
16:22Pero habang
16:23binadaanan yun,
16:24siyempre struggle yun
16:25and you feel
16:26miserable
16:26na paano ako magsasurvive.
16:28But looking back,
16:29I realized na
16:29ilan yun
16:30sa pinakamagagandang
16:31karanasang
16:32dinaanan ko
16:33sa buhay ko.
16:33Kasi
16:34ang dami niyang
16:35naituro sa akin
16:37na yung iba
16:38hindi ko na-realize
16:38that time
16:39at yung iba
16:40hindi ko ma-formulate
16:40but it did
16:41a lot of things
16:43I think sa pagkatao ko.
16:45And I think
16:46itong mga ginawang ito
16:47sa pagkatao ko,
16:48I think
16:48yun yung lumalabas
16:49sa karamihan
16:50ng sinusulat ko
16:51na nagugusa
16:51ng mga tao.
16:52So,
16:54precious pala
16:54yung mga karanasan yun.
16:56Like,
16:57one time,
16:59nung nag-enroll na ako
17:00finally sa Lyceum
17:01Journalism,
17:02nagtatabaho ko
17:03sa accounting clerk
17:04dun sa factory.
17:05What I would do
17:06para makatipid,
17:08trabaho sa factory
17:09the whole day
17:09and then mag-aral ako
17:11sa gabi
17:11and then
17:12maski hindi pa
17:13nagdi-dinner
17:14at around 9
17:16or 10
17:16maglalakad ako
17:17pabalik dun sa
17:18Aranque Market
17:19where nakikitira ako
17:19sa ilang kababayang
17:21mga Biculano.
17:22So,
17:22one time,
17:22minimatay ako sa gutom
17:23sa Abinida.
17:24Nag-blackout ako siguro
17:27mga 5 minutes
17:28or so.
17:28It seemed long
17:29until nakabangon din ako
17:31at nakauwi ako.
17:33Whatever man,
17:33gutom or konen.
17:34So,
17:35habang nangyayari
17:36yung mga gano'n,
17:38you feel really bad.
17:40You feel na,
17:40ba't nangyayari sa akin ito?
17:41Ba't yung iba mga
17:42privilege sila?
17:43Bakit sila nagagawa
17:44ang gusto nila?
17:45Ba't sila nakakapag-aral
17:46na hindi kailangan
17:47magtrabaho?
17:48But,
17:48again,
17:49yung sinabi ko kanina,
17:50but looking back,
17:52parang you're blessed.
17:54You're blessed na
17:55nabibigyan ka
17:56ng maraming karanasan.
17:57Maraming mga taong
17:58dumadaan sa buhay na
17:59masyadong quiet
18:01at pleasant ang buhay.
18:02Kukunti yung nadadaan
18:03ng karanasan eh.
18:04Pero ako,
18:05parang comics eh.
18:06Tadtad sa karanasan
18:07yung buhay ko eh.
18:08So,
18:09nakita ko na
18:10blessed ako dahil doon.
18:12And,
18:12more important siguro
18:13than that is
18:14blessed ako kasi
18:15natingnan ko siya
18:16eventually
18:17in a positive way.
18:19Eventually,
18:20lumipat ako ng UP.
18:21Oo.
18:21Nung nasa UP na po kayo,
18:24sa Manila pa rin po
18:25kayo umuwi
18:25or nasa campus po kayo?
18:29May time na
18:30naghanap ako
18:31ibang trabaho
18:32na hindi nagkain
18:33dun sa factory.
18:34So,
18:34naging tutor ako
18:35ng English and Math
18:36sa mga Chinese kids
18:37sa Binondo.
18:37So,
18:38kuminsan dun ako
18:38sa kanila nakikitulog.
18:39Kaya lang ang
18:40lamig-lamig ng aircon.
18:41Hindi ako sanay sa aircon.
18:43And then,
18:43magbubiyahe ko pa uwi
18:44sa UP.
18:46There was a time
18:47na wala akong tinitirhan
18:48sa faculty center.
18:51Wala na yun.
18:52Nasunog na eh.
18:52Yun yung mga kwarto
18:53ng mga professors.
18:55Kuminsan dun ako
18:55nakikitulog
18:56at kumot ko yung
18:57kortina.
18:58Naliligo ako sa
18:59CR
18:59dun sa eskola.
19:01Until eventually,
19:04tumiran ako sa UP.
19:06Nagboard
19:06and then nagdorm
19:07and so on.
19:08Tumayari sa iyo
19:09sa buhay ko.
19:09But all the time
19:10I was
19:10studying,
19:12I was working.
19:14Naging mas magaang
19:14na lang
19:15student assistant
19:16or tutor.
19:17And nung
19:18second year ako,
19:20naging proofreader
19:21ako sa
19:21magazine.
19:23So,
19:24naging proofreader,
19:26then copyreader,
19:26then eventually,
19:28staff member ako
19:29ng magazine
19:30while I was
19:30studying in UP.
19:32So,
19:32all the time
19:33I was working
19:33pero mas bagaang na
19:35kasi writing na
19:35at yung gusto ko
19:36nang gawin.
19:38Saan point nyo,
19:39sir,
19:39naramdaman yung
19:40nakakaginhawa na?
19:43Parang hindi na
19:44ganun kabigat
19:45yung daladala po ninyo?
19:47Ang kaming
19:47nangyayari sa palibot eh,
19:48hindi mo pwedeng
19:49hindi makita eh.
19:51And so,
19:52kakayaya sa akin,
19:53sali ka na,
19:54sali ka na,
19:54magrarally tayo
19:55o magde-demo tayo.
19:57Then eventually,
19:57nakikita mong
19:58tama sila eh.
19:59Yung mga nakikita nila eh,
20:01napaghihirap,
20:02oppression,
20:02o nga eh.
20:03At ako,
20:03dinaanan ko yan eh.
20:04Naamoy ko yung
20:05kagutuman sa kalsada eh.
20:09Na ranasan kong
20:10sa apartment
20:11ang inuulam namin,
20:13asin o asukal eh.
20:14Kunting kanin din,
20:15then ano na eh.
20:17Naranasan kong
20:17kaming limang magkakaibigan
20:19ating gabi,
20:20gumising kaming dalawa
20:21kasi gutom na gutom kami.
20:22Naghanap kami
20:23makakayang doon sa apartment
20:24at asin lang
20:25ang ina namin.
20:26So,
20:27so nakikita ko yung
20:28unfairness
20:29ng buhay.
20:31Kaya,
20:31napakadali sa akin
20:32na maging aktivista.
20:33So,
20:33naging aktivista ako
20:34and eventually,
20:35nag-full-time
20:36aktivista
20:36and nag-marshall law
20:38and then,
20:39nag-underground
20:40and then,
20:42nakulong,
20:43nahuli ni Raid
20:44ng mga sundalo
20:46yung lugar
20:47na inaaral
20:47kailangan ko
20:47na mag-isa lang ako
20:48maliit na lugar,
20:49Armalites and all.
20:51And so,
20:51nakulong ako
20:51ng isang taon
20:52sa Fort Bonifacio.
20:54Eh,
20:54nabasa ko sir
20:55na nung parang
20:56in recent years,
20:58binalikan nyo
20:59yung lugar
21:00kung saan po
21:00kayo
21:01na nakulong
21:02at nag-detain.
21:03Tapos parang
21:03nag-ulat kayo
21:04na talaga
21:04commercial establishments.
21:06Lima kaming hinuli
21:07dun sa bahay ko.
21:07Mag-isa lang
21:08kong nag-re-rent
21:08nung room
21:09and then,
21:10lahat ng pumunta
21:11hinuli,
21:11si Pian Lumbera,
21:12National Artist
21:13for Literature
21:14and then,
21:16si John Maglipo
21:16ng PEP
21:17and then,
21:18Floor and so on.
21:18So,
21:19I think lima kami lahat.
21:20So,
21:21lahat kami hinuli.
21:22So,
21:22nag-get together kami
21:23years ago
21:24at
21:25three-nace nga namin
21:26yung lugar.
21:26Eh,
21:26dito may isa pa
21:27dito sa labas
21:28ng ano eh
21:28at ito nga ba
21:30yung military barracks
21:31yun eh
21:31na ginuwang kulungan eh.
21:33So,
21:33parang somewhere there
21:34it brought back memories
21:36and nagtanong nga kami
21:38sa isa't isa na
21:39sa tagal na
21:41nahuli kami
21:42at kinulong 1974,
21:43buong taong kami
21:44ng 1974
21:44nasa kulungan.
21:46So,
21:46sabi namin,
21:47lahat tayo
21:47nasa pagsusulat.
21:49Wala mo lang
21:49isa sa atin
21:50nagsulat about it.
21:52So,
21:52napaisip kami.
21:53Siguro,
21:53it was too painful
21:54at that time
21:55or siguro
21:56madaling isip
21:59may magsusulat
21:59pero pagsusulat mo
22:00nahaharap ka
22:01nasa sarili muli noon.
22:02Hindi ko alam.
22:03Kung bakit
22:04we never wrote about it.
22:06But,
22:06I'm trying to write about it
22:07in my memoirs.
22:09So,
22:09dun yun ah,
22:10parang that will be
22:11the first time
22:11na talagang tatalakayin nyo
22:12at pag-uusapan nyo.
22:13Although,
22:14although nagkwento naman ako
22:15sa mga tao
22:16ng ilang pailan-ilan
22:20ng mga kwento
22:22sa loob.
22:26Yung one year ko
22:27sa loob
22:27is slightly painful
22:29kasi I was sickly
22:31nang hinuli ako
22:33and siguro
22:35and siguro
22:35a year,
22:36no,
22:37a month
22:37or two
22:38after ako
22:39nakulong
22:40I started coughing blood
22:41inside prison.
22:44Blood from the lungs
22:45na ang dami
22:46na nakakapuno
22:48ng lata ng biskuit
22:48at that time.
22:50So,
22:50yung mga kasamahan sa loob
22:51tinatry nilang
22:52i-contain yung
22:53yung
22:53bleeding,
22:55acupuncture and all
22:56hindi makontain.
22:56So, finally,
22:57I had to be brought
22:57to the hospital.
22:59Ganong kasama,
23:00nag-collapse yung lungs ko
23:01kasi it took me
23:02three months
23:03bago ako
23:04sa hospital,
23:05bago ako
23:05i-binalik sa kulungan.
23:07Nag-collapse
23:08yung left
23:08lungs ko.
23:11And then,
23:11after a
23:12few months,
23:14nag-relapse ako
23:15I started coughing blood again.
23:17And so,
23:18nag-appela kami
23:19sa authorities
23:20na akong pupwedeng
23:20ibalik ako sa hospital.
23:24Ayaw nilang maniwala,
23:25ayaw na nila
23:26akong ilipat
23:26sa hospital,
23:27bakit ako nagsisinungaling,
23:28nag-hanap ng dahilan.
23:29So, humiwi kami ng tulong
23:30kay Gemma Cruz Araneta
23:32na kaibigan ni Juan Ponce Enrile
23:34was the defense secretary
23:35at the time.
23:36And so,
23:37papayagan daw ako.
23:38So, one afternoon,
23:40pinatawag ako sa guardhouse.
23:43Pagpunta ko sa guardhouse,
23:43may coronel na naghihintay.
23:45So, sabi niya,
23:46ikaw ba si Ricky Lee?
23:48Sabi ko,
23:48yung sumulat na
23:50para ilipat.
23:51Opo,
23:52ikaw yung writer?
23:53Opo.
23:54Umuubo ka daw ng dugo?
23:55Sabi ko,
23:55opo.
23:56Umuubo ka nga ng dugo?
23:57Sabi ko,
23:57sabi ko,
23:58sandali po.
24:00So, nag-concentrate ako
24:01and then I started coughing
24:02and coughing and coughing
24:02and coughing and coughing.
24:03Walang lumalabas ng dugo.
24:05So, sabi niya,
24:05talagang sinungaling kayo eh,
24:06mga aktivista kayo eh.
24:08Sabi ko,
24:08hindi po,
24:09hindi po,
24:09sandali lang po.
24:10So, nag-focus ili ako
24:11sa sarili ko
24:12and then
24:12inisip ko yung nangyayari
24:14before
24:15pag umubo ako ng dugo
24:16and then I started coughing
24:17again and again and again.
24:18Walang pala
24:19yung lumalabas ng dugo.
24:19So, sabi niya,
24:20ayun,
24:20sinungaling ka talaga,
24:21tanggalin mo t-shirt mo,
24:23pagkasumandal,
24:23kunan niyo ito ng picture.
24:24So, abang naglalakad ako,
24:26pabalik sa kulungan,
24:28sa barracks,
24:29mixed yung emotions ko.
24:31Galit ako sa sarili ko
24:32na ba't hindi nag-cooperate?
24:33Binitray ako
24:33itong katawang ito
24:34na dati naman
24:35masaga na lumalabas
24:36lang itong dugo.
24:37And at the same time,
24:38nalulungkot ako
24:38and nagagalit ako.
24:40Ba't ako sumunod
24:41sa inuutos ng
24:41colonel and so on.
24:43So, halo-halo lahat
24:44at feeling ko walang silbi.
24:45It's experiences like this
24:47that again,
24:49looking back,
24:50as a person
24:51and as a writer,
24:52iniisip ko na may
24:53iniiwan siyang sugat,
24:54bubog,
24:55sa loob.
24:56And yung bubog,
24:57hindi nag-heal
24:58kasi never ko namang
24:59nakita uli yung colonel.
25:01Never ko namang siyang
25:02sa lubog na may sakit
25:03at siya naman
25:04ang pinabuko ng dugo
25:05or pinulungan.
25:07Hindi na siya nasara.
25:08So, nag-i-stay siya
25:09parang as open wound.
25:11And so, I realized na
25:12marami akong open wounds
25:14and marami rin akong wounds
25:16in my life
25:17na nagsara
25:17at naging peklat.
25:19And so,
25:20naglalakad akong maraming sugat
25:22at maraming peklat
25:23sa katawan.
25:26And even if
25:27masama yung mga nangyari,
25:29in the end, again,
25:30I feel blessed
25:31na nasurvive ko yung lahat.
25:33And I feel blessed
25:34na marami akong peklat
25:35at sugat
25:36compared sa ibang mga tao.
25:37Because I think
25:38it made me a better person
25:39and a better writer.
25:42Because I think
25:43you become stronger
25:44pag nanggaling ka sa weakness,
25:46kasi kina-contra mo eh.
25:48Tinuturn around mo eh.
25:49Yun yung
25:50sinasabi ko yun,
25:52di ba?
25:52Itong weakness ko,
25:54pag hinarap ko
25:54at tinurn around ko,
25:55magiging stronger ako
25:57kesa sa usual.
25:58Itong sakit na to,
25:59pag tinurn around ko,
26:00magiging healthier ako
26:01kesa sa usual.
26:02Kung wala kang tinurn around,
26:04you're healthy,
26:04you're just healthy.
26:05Healthy.
26:06Pero dahil nanggaling ako sa mas,
26:08dahil nanggaling sa lupa,
26:10pag tinurn around,
26:11mas malawak
26:12kesa kong nanggaling dito
26:13sa gitna
26:14na one straight line lang.
26:17Tingin niyo po ba,
26:18nag-a-apply din po ito sa,
26:19kumbaga sa writing process nyo,
26:21na your weaknesses
26:22just make you stronger,
26:23so it makes the end product
26:25so much more beautiful.
26:26Yes.
26:28Sa writing,
26:29lagi kong sinasabi na,
26:31in the end,
26:32lahat sa writing
26:32nagsisimula sa wala.
26:33Kung ano yung wala sa'yo,
26:39kung wala akong justice,
26:41kung wala akong feeling
26:42ng belonging,
26:44iyon yung nagtutulak sa akin
26:45para magsulat.
26:48Kung ano yung wala sa atin,
26:49yun ang nagiging
26:49driving force natin
26:50sa buhay natin.
26:52Kung mulang pagkabata,
26:53ang feeling mo,
26:54hindi kami namahal
26:55ng mga pamilya mo,
26:57ng mga mag-anak mo,
26:58and so on.
26:59Bilang tao,
27:00bilang writer,
27:01mas matindi mo
27:02nasusulat
27:02yung tungkol sa mga taong
27:03walang nagmamahal.
27:06At mas magsisikap kang
27:07habulin yung pangarap mo
27:09kasi meron kang wala
27:10na gustong punuan.
27:11May silya ka
27:12na dapat kompletohin.
27:14So,
27:15ang isang policy ko ngayon
27:17sa buhay
27:17at sa pagsusulat is,
27:19yung wala,
27:20kailangan recognize natin
27:21and it will become
27:22your driving force.
27:24So,
27:25andami mga taong
27:25nagsasucceed
27:26dahil nanggaling sila
27:27sa wala,
27:28pinupunuan nila
27:29yung wala.
27:30And all throughout life,
27:31di naman natin
27:31mapupunuan totally
27:32yung wala.
27:33So,
27:33we keep pushing
27:34and we're being
27:36driven lalo.
27:37So,
27:38that's okay.
27:39So,
27:39nagpupunu tayo
27:40ng wala
27:40habang nabubuhay tayo.
27:43Pero,
27:43in the writing process,
27:45dapat po ba
27:46may,
27:47parang,
27:48ano yung step one
27:49para sa inyo?
27:51Kailangan ba
27:52uupo kayo
27:52to concentrate on one item
27:54or if you experience
27:55something?
27:57Yung idea,
27:59muna,
27:59can come from
28:00different places.
28:02Pwedeng real life
28:03incident like
28:04yung Himala.
28:05It came from
28:06an actual incident
28:06in 1966
28:07sa isang 11-year-old girl
28:10sa Mindoro,
28:12Cabra Island,
28:13Mindoro.
28:14Na sabi niya,
28:15pinagpakitan siya
28:15ng mahal na birrin.
28:16And so,
28:17nabago yung buhay
28:17dun sa buong island.
28:18So,
28:18it came from
28:19an actual incident.
28:22Pwede rin namang
28:23manggaling sa producer.
28:23Like Sarcinema says,
28:25gawa tayo Ricky
28:25ng project
28:26for Vilma Santos.
28:27Something different
28:28kay Vilma.
28:30Although naging
28:30OFW na siya,
28:31OFW na yun
28:32sa Hong Kong,
28:35isama natin
28:35si Claudine
28:36kasi gusto namin
28:37si Claudine
28:37sumunod sa path
28:38ni Vilma
28:38na pwedeng hero,
28:39pwedeng anti-hero,
28:40hindi goodie-goody
28:40laki.
28:41And naggamit na natin
28:42yung katang anak.
28:43So,
28:44it can come from that
28:45and then
28:46magbabrainstorm na kami
28:47ng corewriter
28:47kung what to do.
28:48So,
28:48it comes from
28:49different
28:49areas,
28:52different sources.
28:53Or,
28:54pwedeng sa mind lang,
28:55ay gagawa ako ng
28:55like itong
28:57kalahating bagari,
28:58ay gagawa ako ng
28:58tungkol dito.
28:59Or,
29:00the other book
29:00that I came out with,
29:02yung Kabilang sa
29:02Mga Namawala
29:03or Among the Disappeared,
29:04it was a short story
29:07before,
29:08and dahil
29:08being alang
29:09aktivista,
29:10alam ko yung
29:10karanasan ng
29:10mga desaparecidos,
29:12yung mga
29:12dinudukot
29:13at nawawala.
29:14So,
29:14it started with
29:15an idea
29:16and then
29:17finished out
29:17ko lang
29:18into the story.
29:18So,
29:18it can come from
29:19any of those
29:21sources.
29:22But,
29:22eventually,
29:23you have to
29:23sit down.
29:25Ang mahirap
29:25sa pagsusulat,
29:26you don't want
29:27to sit down
29:27to write.
29:29Hindi ko alam
29:29sa news,
29:30but,
29:32habang nag-iisip
29:32ako ng idea,
29:33ang ganda-ganda
29:34ng idea
29:34in my head.
29:35At proud ako.
29:36At kumisan,
29:37pinipitch ko sa mga
29:37kaibigan,
29:38ang ganda-ganda.
29:39And you keep
29:40trying to make it
29:41better and better
29:42and better
29:42in your mind
29:43and deltakot kang
29:44maupo
29:45para magsulat.
29:46Kasi you might
29:47realize na hindi
29:47siya maganda.
29:49And also,
29:49because mahirap
29:50talaga magsulat.
29:52Masarap mag-isip
29:53na magsusulat ako
29:54at masarap
29:55mag-isip na
29:55ay nakapagsulat ako
29:56pero the act
29:57of sitting down
29:58to write
29:59trabactal ka siya.
30:01So,
30:02medyo
30:02may ganun.
30:04Medyo daunting
30:05tibo pa siya
30:06ang blank page
30:07or a blank screen
30:08pag mag-uumpisa ka.
30:10And sometimes,
30:10parang...
30:11Where to start?
30:12Yeah,
30:12that's always
30:12the hardest part.
30:14Yes,
30:14what's the first word
30:15or the first sentence.
30:17So,
30:17kumisan,
30:18pag may feeling ako
30:19na ripe na yung idea,
30:21pinahinog ko na.
30:23Meaning,
30:24ilang araw yan
30:25na nasa mind ko muna
30:26bago magsulat eh.
30:27Like,
30:28I imagine I'm the character.
30:29or the other character.
30:30I keep thinking about it.
30:31So,
30:31day in,
30:31day out yan,
30:32whatever you're doing,
30:33you're writing in your head.
30:34Muna,
30:35fleshing out the idea.
30:36Naliligo,
30:37naglalamierda,
30:39and so on,
30:40kumakain,
30:40nasa mind mo,
30:41matutulog,
30:41etc.
30:42Hanggang eventually,
30:43parang magbuburst ka na.
30:44Kumbaga,
30:46nothing derogatory about it.
30:48In fact,
30:48sa akin,
30:49maganda siya.
30:49Kumbaga,
30:50buntis ka na.
30:51So,
30:52ready mo nang
30:52ilabas yung baby.
30:53Natulog lang sa pagbuyis.
30:54Parang,
30:55gusto nang lumabas itong baby.
30:57Gusto nang magpalanggo na lahat.
30:58Doon ka medyo takot kasi
30:59na ako paglabas ito,
31:00hindi pa siya maganda,
31:01hindi pa ako ready.
31:02Pero,
31:03days before that,
31:04you keep trying to make yourself ready
31:06para punuan yung blank screen.
31:08Kasi yun ang nakakatakot eh.
31:10Pag ready na siya,
31:11then I start thinking
31:11of the first two,
31:12three sentences.
31:14Or the first scene
31:15in my head.
31:16Pero at least
31:16may sasampayan ako,
31:18may mahahawakan ako,
31:19pag-upo ko.
31:20So,
31:20I think of that.
31:21Ano kayong first sentence
31:22dito sa novela?
31:23Ano kayang gano'n?
31:24Marirevise pa na eventually,
31:25but I need that.
31:26So,
31:27the moment may gano'n ako,
31:28alam ko na naman
31:29at least kung anong isusulat ko
31:30na first scene,
31:31siguro bahala ng
31:32scene two and scene three.
31:34So,
31:34I sit down and write.
31:36The other thing
31:37that makes it easy,
31:38that eventually made it easier
31:39for me
31:40through time is,
31:41na-realize ko na
31:47may isang paraan pala
31:49para mas magawa ako siya
31:50ng mas madali.
31:54I write every morning,
31:57which is the best time
31:58for me to write anyway.
32:00I wake up at four
32:00or three or five
32:02and then I write.
32:05Ginawa akong policy
32:06sa sarili ko
32:06at practice na
32:07every morning,
32:09magsusulat ako,
32:10maski walang deadline,
32:11maski walang
32:12susulatin.
32:14Parang exercise,
32:15kailangan habit siya.
32:16Oo.
32:17But more than exercise actually,
32:20kung,
32:20sabi ko,
32:21para akong nagtatrabaho,
32:22lahat ba nagtatrabaho
32:23sa opisina,
32:25enjoy silang magtrabaho,
32:26hindi naman,
32:2680% of the time,
32:27you drag your feet
32:28to go to work.
32:29Di ba?
32:30Hindi naman,
32:30uy, excited ako,
32:31mag-waiter na,
32:33or what?
32:33Hindi naman,
32:34you drag your feet.
32:35Sabi ko,
32:35para akong trabahador din,
32:37nagsusulat ako,
32:3880% of the time,
32:39kamad ako magsulat.
32:40But I have to report
32:41for work.
32:43Parang 8 to 5,
32:44kailangan mag-report for work.
32:45So every day,
32:46nagre-report ako
32:46for work
32:47sa harap ng computer.
32:49Alam kong pangit
32:50ang lalabas sometimes,
32:51or oftentimes,
32:52it doesn't matter,
32:53I'm just doing the work.
32:54I'm putting in time
32:55sa pagtatrabaho.
32:57So,
32:57ginawa kong practice yun
32:58every single day,
32:59maski masamang katawan,
33:00walang deadline,
33:01hindi inspired,
33:02tinataman,
33:02et cetera,
33:03maski na maiksing oras lang,
33:04olang minutes lang,
33:05I have to write.
33:06So I think eventually,
33:07nag-adjust yung subconscious ko,
33:10na loko ko yung subconscious ko
33:11into thinking na
33:12I'm always prepared
33:13to write every day.
33:15So pag napokong ngayon,
33:16it becomes easier.
33:17And kung pangit ang silulat ngayon,
33:19hindi pangit,
33:19tomorrow it might be better.
33:21So,
33:21yung sinasabi natin kanina,
33:23pagsusulat na mahirap,
33:24na gumaang ng konti,
33:26dahil naging habit ko yung ganyan na
33:29I'll just,
33:30I'm a writer,
33:31so I have to write every day.
33:32Report for work.
33:34Naapektohan din po ba kayo
33:35ng writer's block?
33:36Because of this,
33:37hindi masyado.
33:39Yeah,
33:39kasi may black man o walang,
33:41I have to write.
33:41Anyway,
33:42when you say you have to write,
33:43about anything po,
33:44kahit ano?
33:44It can be anything,
33:46or,
33:47alam mo,
33:47if I'm writing a script,
33:48I'll just write about that character.
33:50Kamisan,
33:50in-imagine kung
33:51yung character pumasok sa piscina,
33:53hindi ko naman ito gagamitin eh.
33:54Sabi niya,
33:54ba na ba na mga katrabaho ko rito,
33:56at et cetera, et cetera.
33:57Ba't sila ganito,
33:58tinatamad na ako.
33:58Lahat na lang that comes to mind,
33:59associative writing or what.
34:01Assuming the point of view,
34:02the character,
34:03it might help a little.
34:04Or may stray idea,
34:06na maganda siguro,
34:07susulat ko,
34:07anong gano'ng lahat.
34:08Or diary,
34:08I write in my diary.
34:10But mostly yung sa trabaho,
34:12characters.
34:13So hindi ko in-expect
34:15na maging maganda
34:16o magagamit.
34:17Para lang yung attitude ko sa writing,
34:19hindi maging
34:20sobrang kailangan maganda,
34:22kailangan mulinis.
34:23Parang when inspiration strikes lang.
34:25Parang,
34:26I just want to express it.
34:27I'm a writer,
34:28parang,
34:29ibon ako,
34:29hindi kailangan akong humuni.
34:32Maganda man o hindi?
34:33Yes,
34:34kailangan,
34:34it's my being.
34:36So kailangan kong huminga.
34:37So parang naging ganun.
34:38So gumaang yung pressure
34:41na kailangan ito maganda.
34:42Kailangan ito malinis na.
34:43Definitely hindi yan maging malinis
34:45kasi ganito lang yan.
34:46So,
34:47nagiging medyo
34:47laro siya.
34:49Then,
34:49hindi natatanggal yung joy
34:50ng writing.
34:52Kasi yung isang pinakamahirap
34:54sa writer
34:54is pag natanggal na yung joy
34:56ng writing.
34:57It's just work.
34:58I have to meet the deadline.
34:59Kailangan pagbigyan yung gusto
35:00ng director,
35:00ng producer,
35:01ng artista.
35:03Nawala na yung joy
35:04ng pagsasulat.
35:06So yun.
35:07Iniliwasan natin.
35:07Yes.
35:08Writer's block.
35:10I think,
35:11in the end,
35:12baka kasi
35:13ina-expect mo na yung baby
35:15lumabas na eh
35:16three months pa lang eh.
35:17O five months pa lang eh.
35:19Kanya-kanyang panahon
35:21na hinahanap ng material eh.
35:23Minamadali mo eh.
35:24Baka hindi pa siya handa,
35:25hindi pa hinog.
35:25You haven't done enough research.
35:26You haven't done enough
35:27pagmumuni-muni
35:29or pag-refleshing out
35:30or brainstorming.
35:32Maybe
35:32you're not even ready
35:33to write it this year.
35:34Maybe you have to set it aside
35:36and write it maybe
35:37two years later
35:37when you're more prepared
35:38to write it.
35:39So,
35:40don't force it.
35:42Yung work nyo, sir,
35:43syempre binabalik-balikan po yan,
35:45di ba?
35:45Kasi,
35:46hindi naman paglabas ng baby,
35:47okay na siya agad, di ba?
35:48Ay,
35:48ang first draft,
35:51ang dumi-dumi.
35:52May nagsabi nga na
35:53the first draft
35:54is always shit.
35:55Sabi mo sa abroad
35:56na mentor.
35:58Yeah,
35:59madumi siya eh.
36:00And dapat expect mo
36:01na madumi eh.
36:01Walang baby lumalabas
36:02na walang dugo
36:04at kung ano-ano
36:05at umbilical cord
36:05na nakabit.
36:07Alam kong pinakamagandang creature
36:08sa buong mundo
36:09ang anak para sa nanay.
36:11Pero marumi pa siya.
36:12Paglabas.
36:13Paglabas.
36:13It's so unformed
36:14and so on.
36:15So,
36:16that's the first draft.
36:17Expect it to be marumi,
36:19puno na mistakes.
36:20And that's the purpose
36:20of the first draft.
36:21For you to see
36:22kung anong kailangan linisin,
36:24kung anong kulang,
36:25kung anong sobra,
36:26kung anong may dadagdag.
36:27Do you like to involve
36:28other people,
36:29as many people as possible
36:30in the process of revision?
36:32Yes,
36:32oo.
36:33Nung
36:33nagsusulat ako
36:35ng short stories,
36:36ayaw ko.
36:37Kasi baka magalaw eh.
36:38Baka mawala yung spell.
36:40Pero nang nagsimula
36:41ako magtrabaho sa pelikula,
36:42natutok to
36:42to let other people
36:44ideas,
36:46people
36:46to collaborate
36:47with other people.
36:47And I learned na,
36:49I found out na maganda siya.
36:50So lahat ng novela ko,
36:52meron akong
36:53group of readers.
36:55I pitch.
36:56Nakikita ko pa lang
36:57pag-pitch ko na
36:57sa mukha nila eh.
36:58And then they
36:59come up with suggestions.
37:00And then I ask them
37:01to read the first draft,
37:02the second draft,
37:02and so on.
37:02Para kay B went through
37:03ilang tao sila.
37:05Ten yata,
37:06na kumisa
37:06nasa sala namin,
37:08bababa ako
37:08from upstairs,
37:09not ka-type,
37:10madaling araw.
37:11Bapabasa ako sa kanila
37:12yung chapter.
37:12Sa sila na yung
37:13revision team.
37:14It's not working,
37:15it's working,
37:16it's maganda,
37:17it's ganito.
37:17So lahat yan dumaan.
37:19So wala akong
37:19ginawang
37:20trabaho ngayon
37:21na hindi nag-benefit
37:22sa tulong ng
37:23ibang mga tao.
37:25Hanggang sa
37:26copy reading,
37:28hanggang sa
37:28ano ba ang spelling
37:29ng halo-halo,
37:30OOU,
37:31etc.
37:31So I have three,
37:32four teachers
37:32na ginagayad ako doon.
37:36Pati doon
37:37sa ako ng tamang
37:38grammar.
37:40So,
37:40so,
37:42sa novela ko,
37:43mas nagagawa ko yun.
37:44Sir,
37:44namin yung pong awards
37:45and recognitions
37:46for both your novels
37:48and your scripts.
37:49Meron po ba kayong
37:51mas gustong gawin?
37:54I mean,
37:54do you have,
37:55are you more impartial
37:56towards books
37:57or towards film?
37:59At kung pamipiliin ako
38:00mas books,
38:02kasi yung,
38:03yung novels,
38:06up-in yun eh.
38:07Pag-pilikula,
38:09maraming input.
38:10Maraming inputs
38:11and eventually
38:12it's the director.
38:13Siya ang pilot.
38:15Kumaga,
38:15nagsisilby lang ako sa kanya eh.
38:17Material bibigay ko eh.
38:18Siya ang nandun,
38:19nakatutok all the way
38:20until the end eh.
38:21Although may mga director
38:21o ang mga trabaho,
38:23may mga nangkatrabaho kong director
38:24na gaya ni Marilo Abay,
38:26Diazabaya,
38:27na mulang concept
38:29hanggang final cut,
38:30editing and so on,
38:31ini-involve ako,
38:33hindi pa rin akin
38:34yung pelikula.
38:35Pero yung novela,
38:36even if maraming tumulong,
38:38naging reader ko,
38:39nag-suggest,
38:41nag-brainstorm and so on,
38:43lahat ng words doon,
38:44lahat ng punctuation marks,
38:45lahat ng decision,
38:46akin yun eh.
38:47Solo ko yan eh.
38:48So,
38:51mas fulfilling,
38:53mas masarap
38:54sa pakinamdam
38:55yung
38:55yung
38:57yung
38:57novela.
38:59And,
38:59pag may pelikula
39:00kung nagustuhan
39:01ng ibang mga tao
39:02at lumapit sila sa akin
39:03at humahanga sila,
39:04usually sabihin lang nilang
39:05husay-husay po nyo
39:06sa Ricky,
39:07ang ganda-ganda
39:07ng pelikula nyo
39:08and they will even
39:09quote some lines.
39:10That's all.
39:10Pero yung mga nakabasa
39:12ng Paracidee
39:13or ng Amapola
39:14or Kalating Baghari
39:15ngayon,
39:16when they approach me,
39:17mas intimate yung
39:18relationship namin
39:19ng reader ko.
39:20Kasi,
39:22yung
39:22yung manananggal
39:24ng Amapola
39:25na tumaba
39:26ng tumaba
39:27at bagsak
39:27ng bagsak
39:28habang lumilipad,
39:29pag ginawang pelikula yun,
39:31isang artist
39:32sa lang ang makikita nila.
39:33Pero ito,
39:34nang binabasa nila
39:34yung novela,
39:35kanya-kanya silang
39:36Giselle,
39:37yung character.
39:38So,
39:38habang binabasa nila
39:39yung novela,
39:40parang kinoko-write nila
39:41with me yung novela.
39:43Kasi,
39:43kini-ate nila yung kanyang
39:44Giselle niya,
39:45Giselle niya,
39:45magkakaiba sila eh.
39:47And so,
39:47when they approach me
39:48na nagustuhan nilang novela,
39:50may feeling sila
39:51na nagka-intimate
39:51relationship kami.
39:52Nag-collaborate kami
39:54on the novel.
39:55And so,
39:55mas open silang magsabi na
39:57na
39:58ganito po,
39:59ganito po.
40:00At nagkukwento sila
40:01ng personal lives nila,
40:02like itong sa
40:03Kalahati,
40:04ang daming nagkukwento
40:05ng karanasan nila.
40:05At pag nagpapa-autograph sila,
40:07marami bubulong
40:08magkukwento.
40:09Kami po,
40:10nagkatuloyan kami
40:11ng girlfriend ko
40:12kasi ginamit ko itong
40:13para kay Binan,
40:14ano nyo,
40:14pang pagkos sa kanya
40:16and so on.
40:17So,
40:18it is so
40:19invigorating
40:21and accelerating
40:23and amazing
40:24an experience.
40:25And you feel so
40:26blessed
40:28na you're a writer
40:30na naggagawa mo ito
40:31at nagre-react silang
40:33ganun
40:33in a more
40:34intimate manner.
40:35But of course,
40:36Sir Ricky,
40:37you're not just
40:37our writer,
40:38not just any writer,
40:39you're a national artist.
40:41Dito sa Pilipinas,
40:44may kasama bang pressure
40:46yung pagiging national artist?
40:47Does it add to the joy?
40:48Does it take away
40:49from the joy of writing?
40:50I think it's both.
40:52Maraming perks,
40:53maraming hassles.
40:55Alin yung hassles, sir?
40:58Ang dami-daming
40:58imbitasyon.
41:00Attend this,
41:01attend that,
41:01et cetera, et cetera.
41:02I don't mind.
41:03I don't mind.
41:04Pero,
41:05ah, no,
41:05ang pinaka-hustle sa akin,
41:06mahihayin ako eh.
41:08I think
41:09yung feeling
41:10before na
41:11you never belonged
41:13na hindi naman
41:15nawawala eh.
41:16Kung ano ka
41:16nung bata ka,
41:18nag-improve ka lang
41:18pero hindi nawawala eh.
41:20Nandun yung bata
41:20sa love mo eh.
41:21So yung feeling ko na
41:22hindi ako nagbibilong,
41:24nahihiya ako,
41:24outsider ako,
41:25hindi naman nawala totally eh.
41:26Namamanage ko lang eh.
41:28So nahihiya akong pumasok
41:28sa mga parties
41:29kung wala akong kasama,
41:30hindi ako pupunta
41:31ng Gale,
41:31ng Jemay Gala Ball
41:33kung walang
41:33and so on and so forth.
41:36So,
41:37so yung nahihiya ako
41:38na I feel na
41:39I don't belong.
41:40Pag national artist ka na,
41:42i-acknowledge ka nila,
41:44tatayo kang yun,
41:45pupuntahan ka ng ilaw,
41:47ah,
41:48lalo akong nag-feel
41:49na I don't belong.
41:51I'm,
41:52parang I'm being set apart.
41:53Of course.
41:56In a good way,
41:56even if it's in a good way.
41:57Yes, I appreciate.
41:58And,
41:59wala naman akong
42:00masabang opinion eh.
42:01It's more
42:02depekto ko eh.
42:03It's more
42:04what's going inside me.
42:05Yung
42:05na-awkward ako,
42:07hindi ako komportable,
42:08tatayo.
42:09So,
42:10nung mga unang occasion,
42:12hindi ako marunong tumayo,
42:14nakakatayo pa lang ako
42:15pag-acknowledge sa akin,
42:17maupo na ako.
42:17Sabi naman kasama ko,
42:18hindi, tumayo ka muna.
42:20Then tumitingnan ko yung iba,
42:21like sina Alice Reyes,
42:22tumatayo sila,
42:22kumakaway pa sila,
42:23malilingon sila.
42:24Hindi ako makalingon,
42:25hindi ako makapuna agad.
42:28So,
42:30hindi siya masama.
42:31It's,
42:31appreciation yun eh.
42:32And,
42:33binibigyan nga nila
42:33akong pagpapahalaga eh.
42:35It's,
42:35it's me,
42:36yung
42:36being set apart.
42:38Being,
42:39having all this attention
42:41on you.
42:42So,
42:43so,
42:44it took me a while,
42:44prenoceso ko yun.
42:45And then sinabi ko sa sarili ko na,
42:47hindi,
42:47ang binibigyan nila ng attention,
42:49yung writer.
42:50Not just me.
42:51And,
42:51ang writer invisible
42:52sa industriya natin.
42:54Wala sa trailers,
42:55wala sa credits,
42:56madalas.
42:58Himala,
42:58when it first came out
42:59noong 197,
43:00noong 1992,
43:01wala ang pangalan ko sa poster.
43:03I guess, sir?
43:04Yeah,
43:04but that time,
43:05idea ko yun,
43:05akong pumili kay Ishmael Bernal,
43:06akong pumili kay Nora Honor,
43:08inilako ko yan for six years,
43:10and then sinali sa contest ng ECP,
43:11kaya na,
43:12kaya na,
43:12so,
43:12that's mine.
43:14Sa 190 plus na scripts ko,
43:17na na-produce,
43:17isa yan sa kohunting akin lang.
43:19Ngayon,
43:20at nang lumabas yung poster,
43:21wala yung pangalan ko.
43:22So,
43:22yun yung kalakaran eh,
43:23hindi dahil masama yung mga katrabaho ko.
43:25Anong time na yun,
43:26talagang hindi sinasama?
43:27Even now,
43:28hindi naman talaga masyado eh.
43:29Pag tumingin ka ngayon sa poster,
43:30hanapin mo dun sa box,
43:31yung pangalan ng writer,
43:33na ang daming mga kasamang iba pa.
43:35Eh,
43:35yung writer,
43:36katuwang ng director dapat eh.
43:37Nandun sila sa box.
43:40Sino nga bang writer dito,
43:41mga gano'n ka?
43:42So,
43:44hindi pa rin enough
43:45yung attention na binibigay.
43:47So,
43:48sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na,
43:49the moment na nag-focus sila sa akin,
43:51ang binibigyan attention,
43:52yung writer,
43:52na invisible.
43:53And,
43:54I'll do this.
43:55I should do this.
43:56You did it for everyone,
43:56for the community.
43:58Yes,
43:58kasi ako nabigyan nung papel,
44:00nung trabaho eh.
44:02Sige,
44:03ngumiti ka at gawin.
44:04And eventually,
44:05I started enjoying it naman.
44:06Sige ka saan ng kawai, sir.
44:07Hindi pa.
44:08Next step pa yun.
44:10Lilingon muna.
44:12So,
44:13o yun.
44:13So,
44:14para makita nila na,
44:16may writer.
44:16Hindi nagawa lang yung pelikula
44:18na nandyan na.
44:19May writer dyan sa likod niya.
44:21At,
44:22isa akong example
44:23ng writer.
44:24Kasi,
44:25ang laki ng body of work ninyo,
44:28pwede po ba kayong pumili
44:29ng paborito ninyo doon?
44:31Kaya nyo bang pumili ng paborito?
44:32Hindi.
44:33Usually,
44:33tinatanong yan sa akin,
44:34para akong namili sa mga anak ko.
44:36Yun nga eh.
44:37Sabi nyo,
44:38they're like babies.
44:39They're like,
44:39yes eh.
44:41Of the 190 plus scripts
44:43na na-produced,
44:44and then the novels,
44:45I think five,
44:46four or five novels,
44:47and then the others,
44:48the short stories,
44:50hindi ko pwedeng sabihin
44:51ito maganda,
44:52ito hindi maganda,
44:52kasi lahat sila tumulong
44:54para gumanda yung iba eh.
44:56Kung may mga ilang pelikulang
44:57hindi nag-succeed,
44:59dahil sa kanila,
45:00kaya nag-succeed yung isang pelikula eh.
45:02Hindi ko magagawa naman yung pelikulang yun
45:03kung hindi ako dumahan
45:04sa mga hindi nag-succeed eh.
45:05So, parang in a way,
45:06pantay na sila lahat eh.
45:08Kaya I look at all my works as,
45:10parang I'm writing one great work,
45:12integrated lahat ng mga scripts
45:14at novels,
45:14it's one great work.
45:15It's a work in progress
45:16na matatapos pag tumigil ako magsulat
45:19o namatay na ako.
45:20So, it's just one great work.
45:21So, hindi ako mamimili
45:22kung alin doon.
45:24So, bilang national artist, sir,
45:26ano po ang gusto niyong
45:28maiwan na legacy
45:29para sa mga creatives,
45:31yung mga susunod na
45:32henerasyon ng mga creatives?
45:36Hindi useless ang mga rap.
45:38Hindi useless ang magpursigi
45:40na makuha mo yung gusto mo.
45:42I mean,
45:43nanggaling ako sa circumstances
45:44na medyo mahirap,
45:45galing probinsya,
45:47walang means,
45:47kailangan magtrabaho.
45:49Hindi ko noon maimagine
45:50na mararating ko
45:51yung narating ko ngayon
45:53noon,
45:54noong teenager pa lang ako.
45:55Pero,
45:56lahat tayo nagsisimula sa ganun eh,
45:57bilang teenager na,
45:58hindi mo alam,
45:59mabutin ko ba itong pangarap na ito?
46:00Hindi, magagawa ko ba?
46:01Hindi, makakaya ko ba?
46:02Hindi eh.
46:03I think it's worth
46:04believing in oneself
46:06and put
46:07lahat ng
46:09mailalagay mong
46:10drive, effort,
46:12determination,
46:13passion and so on
46:15and go at it
46:16and persist.
46:18And I think
46:18yun yung lesson namin eh,
46:20lahat kami mga
46:20naging national artists
46:22o nakarating sa
46:22kung saan mang kami,
46:23nagpersist kami,
46:25nagwork hard kami,
46:27nangarap kami,
46:28hindi kami
46:29gumibap,
46:30hindi kami bumitaw eh.
46:32Talagang nagsisimula lahat
46:33sa isang munting pangarap.
46:35Nagsisimula lahat
46:35sa isang munting pangarap
46:36na kung nagfail,
46:38dream again,
46:40work at it again,
46:41go for it again.
46:42Kung nagfail pa rin,
46:43go for it again.
46:44The going for it
46:45makes you a better person.
46:49Hindi yung output
46:49ang magmamake you
46:51a better person eh.
46:52Yung
46:53the going for it,
46:54the trying,
46:55the persisting,
46:56the failing,
46:57binubuo ka niya bilang
46:58isang mabuting tao eh.
47:00In that process eh.
47:01Pag nakuha mo na yung
47:02gusto mong kuha,
47:03bonus na lang yun eh.
47:04Pero you've already
47:05become a better person.
47:06So,
47:07natupad mo man eh,
47:08hindi yung pangarap mo,
47:09pero nagpunyagi ka
47:10para sa pangarap mo,
47:12you've already
47:12become a better person.
47:14As I said,
47:14bonus na lang yung
47:15natupad na pangarap.
47:18Mga kapuso,
47:18this time we are gonna
47:19go behind the headlines
47:21and behind the usual
47:22narratives
47:22at tatanungin natin
47:23yung mga tanong
47:24na minsan,
47:25yung iba ay ayaw itanong.
47:27Ito na po ang ating
47:28tinatawag na
47:29Confessions of an Icon.
47:30First question,
47:35what is one book
47:36that you have never
47:38admitted that you
47:39never finished?
47:40A book that you
47:41started to read
47:41tapos hindi yun
47:42na natapos?
47:42Marami.
47:44I mean,
47:45itong library ito,
47:45dami-dami at
47:46marami pa akong books
47:47sa taas,
47:49sa CR,
47:50sa bedroom,
47:50and so on.
47:51So,
47:51surrounded ako by books eh.
47:52And people usually ask me,
47:53nabasang mo ba lahat yan?
47:54Marami akong hindi nabasang.
47:56Yung iba kasi
47:56hindi pa siya
47:57panahon para matapos siguro.
47:58So,
48:00hindi ko pag-aksen
48:01tapusin ngayon,
48:02mabalikan ko lang siya.
48:03So,
48:03kaya nyo rin sir
48:04magbasa ng kumari
48:04apat o limang libro
48:05na sabay-sabay?
48:06Yes.
48:06Lipat-lipat ako
48:07magbasa ng libro.
48:08Okay.
48:09What movie or show
48:11have you secretly
48:12binge-watched
48:13multiple times?
48:15Marami sa Netflix.
48:16Maski itong,
48:17nung pandemic,
48:18syempre,
48:18wala kang choice eh.
48:19Pero ngayon,
48:20ano ba?
48:22Adolescence,
48:23lately,
48:23sa Netflix.
48:24Sinapos ko yung
48:25apat na episodes niya,
48:26hindi ko siyang mabitawan.
48:27Isang upuan lang yan?
48:28Yeah.
48:29Difficult to watch
48:30kasi di ba slating eh.
48:31Pero,
48:32nakaglu yung...
48:32Hindi ko pa nagagawang
48:33panuorin sir eh.
48:35Masakit sa ligdib.
48:36Oo.
48:37Kasi totoo siya.
48:38But,
48:39mahalaga siya eh,
48:39pambukas ng mata eh.
48:41How about
48:41your comfort food
48:43after a long day of writing?
48:45Maski hindi long day of writing,
48:47mahilig ako sa pagkain.
48:50Ang dami eh.
48:52King crab.
48:54Wow,
48:55sarap.
48:55Oo nga eh.
48:56Letchon,
48:57mahilig ako sa letchon.
48:58So,
48:58misal punta kami sa...
49:00Laloma?
49:00Yeah,
49:01Laloma.
49:01Dun sa...
49:03And then,
49:04ano pa ba?
49:06Peking duck.
49:06Mga ganun eh.
49:07Mga bawal actually.
49:09May diabetes na ako,
49:10but okay lang
49:11in moderation.
49:12So,
49:12actually,
49:13eating becomes
49:14some sort of a...
49:15Yeah,
49:16parang...
49:16Nangiging parang...
49:17Yeah.
49:18And comfort food na rin.
49:19Maski na hindi yung comfort na parang
49:21or skaldo and so on.
49:22Parang comfort food
49:23na rin siya.
49:25So,
49:25kumisan,
49:26pag may...
49:27pupunta na akong meeting na naku,
49:28itong meeting na to,
49:29o trabaho na to,
49:30inisip ko na,
49:30but after that na makakain kami.
49:33So,
49:33makes it easier to go through the whole thing.
49:35Parang reward.
49:36Parang reward na rin.
49:37Pag nagsusulat po ba kayo,
49:38meron kayong chitsirya,
49:39kape,
49:40tsaka?
49:40No,
49:41no,
49:41music,
49:42I,
49:42although lately,
49:44tinigil ko na muna,
49:44but I used to play music
49:45while writing.
49:46I was writing,
49:47parang I be,
49:48I kept telling people,
49:49I was playing Cold Place,
49:51Viva La Vida.
49:53Oh.
49:54Ngayon,
49:55ang in mas OPM eh.
49:57Cup of Joe,
49:58Patutunguhan,
50:00ano ba ba yan?
50:00Stranghero pa.
50:02When in Manila,
50:04Lola.
50:04Napaka varied pa ng feasts niya, sir.
50:06Or Broadway,
50:07or music ang ano ko,
50:08ang comfort food ko,
50:11na totoo.
50:12Music.
50:13Music.
50:13When I'm depressed,
50:14when I don't know what to write,
50:16when I don't know,
50:16walang direction sa buhay,
50:18what I'm going to do,
50:19may bakanting oras,
50:20I go to music.
50:21I sleep namin naka-airpad.
50:24Ah, talaga, sir?
50:24Yeah.
50:25Okay.
50:26Sony.
50:28Commercial.
50:29So,
50:30yun.
50:31So, music,
50:31actually,
50:32ang totoong comfort food ko.
50:34Sir,
50:34pwede pa namin malamin
50:36anong ginagamit niyo
50:37sa pagsusulat?
50:38Google Docs ba kayo?
50:39Microsoft Word?
50:40Microsoft Word.
50:41Okay.
50:41Para rin ako.
50:43Matagal bago ko nabitawan yung
50:45manual typewriter,
50:46and then matagal bago ko nabitawan
50:47yung Word ba yun?
50:49Kaya nung nagpunta kami abroad,
50:50wala kami mahanap na computer shop
50:51para ma-print out siya.
50:54But, ano na,
50:55Microsoft ako ngayon.
50:57Okay.
50:58Among all the characters
50:59na you have created,
51:02who would you like to have dinner with?
51:04Ito's your name.
51:04Si Elsa siguro,
51:05kasi gusto ko siya tanungin na,
51:07unang pag pinagtapat mo yung katotohanan,
51:09alam mo ba na papatayin ka nila
51:11dahil ayaw nilang marinig yung katotohanan.
51:13So, bakit mo ginawa?
51:15And so on.
51:15Baka it would be interesting
51:16to have that conversation
51:17in a light manner.
51:20Over king crab?
51:21Over king crab.
51:22Or lechon.
51:23Or so many favorite foods.
51:25Aha.
51:26If you weren't a writer,
51:28what do you think your job would be?
51:30Yun ang,
51:31hindi ko alam.
51:32Wala akong alam eh.
51:33Kung fantasy yan,
51:35gusto ko maging rock singer.
51:37Ginawa na akong comics
51:38ng isang writer nun,
51:39Vincent Kueh na
51:40gusto maging rock singer.
51:41Pero wala akong,
51:43hindi ko alam saan na-entra,
51:45wala akong pitch,
51:45and so on.
51:46So, frustrated singer,
51:47ako natutong frustrated.
51:48So, fantasy yun.
51:50So, that's not going to happen.
51:51So, what will I be?
51:53Wala akong alam gawin eh.
51:54Maybe teach.
51:55Kaya lang ngayon,
51:55I teach writing eh.
51:57So, wala akong may tuturo eh.
51:58So, kung hini-writer,
51:59oh, anong ituturo?
52:00Wala eh.
52:01That's how we know na talagang
52:02you were born to be a writer.
52:03Kasi I had no choice.
52:05If you could rewrite anything
52:07from your classics,
52:08what would it be?
52:09Ah, nabanggit ko na to
52:11sa interview eh,
52:12Himala.
52:12I'd put in a little more humor.
52:15Ah,
52:16a little more lightness
52:18in some of the areas around.
52:21Ah,
52:22yun.
52:23Ah, Himala.
52:24Marami pang iba,
52:25pero
52:25what comes to mind now
52:27is Himala.
52:27What is your usual routine
52:29before you start writing?
52:31I go to the computer
52:32agad-agad pagising.
52:33At 3 or 4 in the morning,
52:36diretsyo na akong computer,
52:38and then magsisulat ako
52:38ng ilang oras.
52:40After that,
52:41sakala magsimula yung day ko.
52:42Every single day yun.
52:44Maski na umuwi ako ng
52:461 o'clock or 2 o'clock
52:48ng madaling araw,
52:49the next day,
52:50I still wake up at 4 or 5
52:51and write.
52:52Latest na siguro yung 5,
52:54pagising,
52:54and then I'll write.
52:55As I said kanina,
52:57anything,
52:58I'll just keep writing
52:59just to reassure myself
53:01na I'm a writer.
53:03Walang alarm yun, sir?
53:04Wala.
53:05Kusan gigising lang talaga
53:06kayo ng...
53:07Ah, yeah.
53:07Provincia nung
53:08ang body clock ko.
53:10Lumaka ko sa probinsya,
53:11di ba,
53:11wake up with the ano...
53:12Sa tila ako ng manok.
53:13With the sun.
53:14Tila ako ng manok.
53:14With the sun.
53:15Aha.
53:15Um, what keeps you up at night?
53:20Take things.
53:22Kumisan YouTube,
53:23nagkahanap ako ng...
53:24Kumisan,
53:25kung walang magawa
53:26at walang kailangan basahin,
53:27kumisan nagbabasa ng libro.
53:28Like I'm reading
53:29Human Acts ni Han Kang,
53:33regalo ni Pepe Jokno yung novel.
53:35So,
53:36pero kung wala,
53:36naghahanap ako ng mapapanood
53:38sa YouTube.
53:40Kumisan The Voice,
53:42yung mga,
53:43ang itong nag-fourchair turn na anong ito,
53:45kanapin ko na nga siya.
53:46Or,
53:46ano bang,
53:49or,
53:49kung anong balita,
53:50anything,
53:51sa YouTube,
53:52sa internet eh,
53:53social media eh.
53:55I mean,
53:56I,
53:57hindi ako
53:58out of it.
54:00I mean,
54:01alam ko nangyayari.
54:02I get involved,
54:03ay,
54:04inaalam ko,
54:06yun yung liko ko eh.
54:07Pag may nakabukas sa pinto,
54:09sisilip ako eh.
54:10So,
54:10may ganun akong tendency to,
54:12to go and take a peek.
54:13Maybe it's a writer and me.
54:15So,
54:15sa gabi lalo pa,
54:16pag wala na magawa,
54:17at gusto mag-relax,
54:18bago matulog,
54:19okay,
54:19maghanap na ako sa threads,
54:20o sa YouTube,
54:21o sa Instagram,
54:22o sa TikTok,
54:23kung anong,
54:24kung anong,
54:25nagso-social media ako.
54:27Kung makikipagpalit po kayo
54:28ng writing style
54:29sa ibang,
54:30sa kapwa manunulat,
54:32kanino po kayo makipagpalit?
54:34Yung hindi ko style,
54:35siguro.
54:36Kasi,
54:36estilo ko mga Spockner,
54:38mas Nikwakin eh.
54:39Ernest Hemingway,
54:40yung mas maiksing sentences.
54:41So,
54:41siguro,
54:42Ernest Hemingway,
54:42kasi hindi ako marunong magsulat
54:44ng ganun.
54:45Yeah,
54:46short-termens,
54:46yes.
54:47Malikoy ako eh.
54:48Talagang maligalig ako eh.
54:49I go in all directions,
54:50I go all over the place eh.
54:52I'm halo-halo
54:52kung pagkain ako eh,
54:53hindi ako.
54:54So,
54:55so yun,
54:55para mas straight,
54:57so Ernest Hemingway,
54:59yeah,
55:00or poet.
55:01Nag-try akong gumawa ng tula,
55:03pangit talaga siya lumalabas.
55:05So,
55:05na-try ko na lahat.
55:07Stage play,
55:08musical,
55:11and so on,
55:11journalism,
55:12literature,
55:13et cetera,
55:13poetry,
55:14hindi ko talaga magawa.
55:15Pangit talaga siya.
55:16So,
55:17so,
55:18ang daming mahusay na poets yan.
55:19Siguro.
55:19And sir,
55:22so kung magbibigay po kayo
55:23ng advice
55:24sa mas batang Ricky Lee,
55:27anong advice
55:27ang ibibigay nyo?
55:29Yung hindi ko alam dati,
55:30which is,
55:32embrace lahat ng hirap na yan,
55:34lahat ng frustration
55:35at doubts
55:36at rejections na yan,
55:38and then turn it around.
55:39Pag iniwasan mo siya,
55:41hindi mo siya matuturn around,
55:42and it will stay inside you anyway,
55:44yung failure na yun
55:45o yung weakness na yun,
55:47and eventually,
55:48it will haunt you,
55:48o baka ibagsak ka pa niya,
55:50so,
55:50pag naranasan mo yun,
55:52if you feel down,
55:53feel down.
55:54If you feel rejected,
55:55feel rejected.
55:55Embrace it.
55:56And then turn it around.
55:57You can turn it around.
55:58That time,
55:59kasi nabata pa ako,
56:00hindi ko alam eh.
56:01Pero looking back,
56:02maturn around ko pala.
56:03Kumisan,
56:03hindi ko sinadya eh.
56:04So,
56:04you can turn it around.
56:06Sir Ricky,
56:07thank you so much po.
56:09Maraming maraming salamat.
56:11Mga kapuso,
56:12maraming salamat
56:12sa pananood
56:13at pakikinig
56:14sa episode na ito
56:15ng Power Talks
56:15with Pia Arcangel.
56:17Don't forget to like,
56:18subscribe,
56:18and download
56:19on Spotify,
56:20Apple Podcasts,
56:21or GMA Integrated News
56:22streaming platforms.
56:24Till the next episode!
56:25.
56:26.
56:39.
56:39.
56:43.
56:44.
56:44.
56:47.
56:47.
56:47.
56:48.