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  • 4/24/2025
A car mechanic in a small, working class town comes out of the closet to his unsuspecting, blue-collar best friends.

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Transcript
00:00:00Today's the day.
00:00:21This is it.
00:00:24Whew.
00:00:27All right, guys, I want to talk to you about something.
00:00:30Um, this isn't easy for me, but I'm turning 24 today,
00:00:34and I think it's just time I told you the truth.
00:00:39What I mean is, okay, so the thing is that, um...
00:00:43Hey, Martha, how are you?
00:01:01Adam, I hope you like blueberries.
00:01:03Oh, wow, thanks.
00:01:04You didn't have to do all this?
00:01:05Oh, nonsense.
00:01:06It was no trouble at all.
00:01:07It's just leftovers from church group this week.
00:01:09Oh, yeah.
00:01:09So nice to have a good, strong man like yourself that enjoys my cooking.
00:01:13Oh, thank you.
00:01:14Oh, and you're still free next Saturday, right?
00:01:16Oh, Saturday?
00:01:17My niece is definitely coming this time, and I have told her all about you.
00:01:21Oh, yeah, about that.
00:01:21I mean, actually, Saturday's not really good for me.
00:01:24Oh, you must.
00:01:25Okay, but...
00:01:25You must.
00:01:26Well, there's...
00:01:26You have to.
00:01:27You'll be thrilled to do it.
00:01:28It's got to happen, I tell you.
00:01:30Oh, wait.
00:01:30Did I catch you at a bad time?
00:01:32Oh, no, it's just...
00:01:33It's Chris.
00:01:33He's just, uh, he's just picking me up.
00:01:35Well, you boys don't get in any trouble.
00:01:37Don't do anything the good Lord wouldn't do.
00:01:38Okay, thanks.
00:01:39Thanks for these.
00:01:40Oh, I have to see Chris.
00:01:41I can't do it.
00:01:42I've got to see you.
00:01:42Hi, Chris!
00:01:43Hey, Martha!
00:01:44You have got to bang your neighbor, man.
00:01:47It is the least you can do.
00:01:48Nah, it's not like I'm keeping her Tupperware.
00:01:51Besides, she's trying to set me up with her niece.
00:01:52Dude, then bang the freaking niece, man.
00:01:54What are you waiting for?
00:01:57I don't think I can do that, man.
00:01:59Thing is...
00:02:00Dude, I don't want to hear your excuses.
00:02:01You're too damn nitpicky.
00:02:02That's why you're on a cold streak.
00:02:04I don't care how busted this chick is,
00:02:05give her your dick and keep the muffins coming.
00:02:08Yeah.
00:02:11It's gonna be an awesome night.
00:02:14He's 25, trying to stay alive
00:02:22Trying to pay rent, trying to survive
00:02:24No dollars in my pocket, yeah, I'm losing my mind
00:02:27Yeah, I'm trying to pay rent
00:02:29Where I'm from this summer when it's raining
00:02:42I'm so used to everyone complaining
00:02:45I'm scrubbing floors, now I'm the one complaining
00:02:47Trying to make some money so I can see the ladies
00:02:50Statue of Liberty, what you gonna give to me?
00:02:52All right, all right, all right, all right
00:04:01What's the rush?
00:04:02The rush is that I haven't had a Saturday off in over a month.
00:04:06Michelle or from work?
00:04:07From both, dude.
00:04:09And I am going to savor every minute of it.
00:04:12Am I being hungover all day?
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:14How'd you like that video we seen, huh?
00:04:16Oh, yeah.
00:04:17Shit was a real screamer, man.
00:04:18And then that dude, like, dropped a DQ blizzard on her face.
00:04:21Yeah, I could never finish those.
00:04:23It's almost as bad as the one I dropped on Ortiz's mom's face last night.
00:04:25Oh, cow.
00:04:26Hey, watch the eyes.
00:04:27Oh, Adam, you want to get gay?
00:04:32What?
00:04:33You want a shot?
00:04:35I'll get gay.
00:04:36I'll get gay.
00:04:37Oh, yeah.
00:04:38Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:04:40Birthday, birthday, birthday.
00:04:44Boys, there are some good-looking girls here tonight.
00:04:47Best of luck to all of you.
00:04:48Happy birthday, Adam.
00:04:49Cheers.
00:04:49All right, so, uh...
00:04:53Holy tits.
00:04:56You gotta be fucking kidding me, dude.
00:05:00You guys are so lucky you don't have girlfriends, man.
00:05:03Look at those bombs.
00:05:04You could just bury your face in them and be totally fine with it.
00:05:06Yeah, I don't think she'd be totally fine with it.
00:05:09You don't think they're together, do you?
00:05:10I think so, man.
00:05:12I don't think they're together.
00:05:13Okay, so, um, what I was saying before was...
00:05:18Is she looking?
00:05:19Uh, no.
00:05:20What about now?
00:05:21What about now?
00:05:22I'm just looking vascular as hell, bro.
00:05:24Never mind.
00:05:26Jeez, man.
00:05:27What's going on with you?
00:05:29No, you seem weird.
00:05:31No, it's just, um...
00:05:34What?
00:05:35Uh...
00:05:37The girl, to your right, in the fanny pack,
00:05:39she's totally eye-fucking you.
00:05:42Yeah, right now.
00:05:43I got a cramp.
00:05:56Oh.
00:05:57Oh, yeah, just a quick...
00:05:59quick selfie.
00:06:05This is Prada.
00:06:08Uh, yeah.
00:06:09Actually, it is.
00:06:10It costs, like, $10,000.
00:06:11I've never touched anything that expensive before.
00:06:15I'm sorry.
00:06:16Oh, my God, you guys.
00:06:17We need to dance now.
00:06:19We need to dance right now.
00:06:21We absolutely do need to dance.
00:06:24Mm-hmm.
00:06:24Hey, Adam.
00:06:25We need to dance right now.
00:06:30I've got a dance partner for you right here.
00:06:33You too.
00:06:33Adam.
00:06:34This is Adam, my dancing friend.
00:06:36Oh, my God, I mean, you're hot.
00:06:39You're drunk.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:41He's great in bed, too.
00:06:43Real giver.
00:06:44How do you know?
00:06:46What, you don't sleep with your best friends?
00:06:50That's selfish.
00:06:51Okay.
00:06:51It's very selfish.
00:06:52I'm sorry.
00:06:52Why don't you guys make out right now?
00:06:54Mm-hmm.
00:06:57Okay.
00:06:58We'd love to.
00:06:59Should we make out right now?
00:07:00Uh, we'll do it if they do it kind of thing.
00:07:03Um.
00:07:04I'm waiting.
00:07:05You see, the thing is, we've both been drinking.
00:07:07Yeah, we've been drinking.
00:07:08It'd be cheap.
00:07:09Cheap.
00:07:10Very cheap.
00:07:10Cheap if we made out, yeah.
00:07:12I really have to pee.
00:07:18Oh, fuck yeah.
00:07:20Hey, did you just take a picture of me?
00:07:23Um.
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:26I, he was, uh, he was snapping at me.
00:07:29I got a guy's unibrow.
00:07:32You think you're fucking TMZ or something taking fucking pictures of me?
00:07:35I can't tell if he's surprised or mad.
00:07:38Hey, you got beef.
00:07:39We can step outside.
00:07:40Fuck that.
00:07:41It's cold outside.
00:07:42Yeah, man.
00:07:42Not all of us wore our favorite leather jacket to the bar.
00:07:48I said, let's step outside.
00:07:56What's wrong with you?
00:07:57Come on.
00:07:59Don't be a pussy.
00:08:02You can do this.
00:08:05Dude.
00:08:07Don't yell at the little guy.
00:08:10Just take a breath.
00:08:13Relax your toes.
00:08:15It'll come.
00:08:15So you did take a picture of my sister's chest.
00:08:23You let your sister dress like that?
00:08:25That's your sister?
00:08:26What's wrong with you?
00:08:27Oh, Chris!
00:08:28Chris!
00:08:29Stay.
00:08:30Stay.
00:08:30Listen, I know this isn't the right time, but I wanted to say...
00:08:34Fuck these chicks.
00:08:34We gotta go.
00:08:35You're the brown guy.
00:08:36I got crazy.
00:08:36Let's get it.
00:08:37Go, go, go, go.
00:08:37Go, go, go, go.
00:08:38Go, go, go, go.
00:08:38Go, go, go, go.
00:08:38Go, go, go, go.
00:08:38Go, go, go, go, go.
00:08:39Sorry.
00:08:42Okay.
00:08:42I'm so sorry.
00:08:44It's okay.
00:08:45It's okay.
00:08:45You're fine.
00:08:46I'm gonna call you, okay?
00:08:48Okay.
00:08:48All right.
00:08:48See ya.
00:08:49I'm sorry.
00:08:50No, I'm sorry.
00:08:51I scared him away.
00:08:52It's fine.
00:08:53I'm a terrible friend.
00:09:09Chris.
00:09:25Chris.
00:09:30Chris.
00:09:31Hmm.
00:09:32I'm gay.
00:09:35I'm gay, man.
00:09:37No.
00:09:37I like guys.
00:09:43Huh?
00:09:46I'm gay.
00:09:50Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:53You okay?
00:09:55You all right?
00:09:56Fuck, man.
00:09:57Yes.
00:09:57Yeah, I'm fine.
00:09:59That's not you.
00:10:00It's the excessive alcohol.
00:10:02What the hell's going on?
00:10:05I'm hurt, man.
00:10:07Adam's gay.
00:10:13I gotta take a shit.
00:10:15I should just head out.
00:10:17No, no, no, no.
00:10:17No, no, no, no.
00:10:18It's cool.
00:10:18I'm gonna go.
00:10:19It's okay.
00:10:19Let your guys, uh, soak it in.
00:10:21Adam, Adam, it's fine, man.
00:10:22What the hell?
00:10:28Is he fucking with us?
00:10:29Adam can't be gay.
00:10:30The dude eats steak every day.
00:10:31He was eating out Dorothy Cuda in the eighth grade.
00:10:33Dorothy fucking Cuda.
00:10:34I once saw him rebuild the entire engine on a 68 Mustang.
00:10:37Was that before or after he ass-banged you?
00:10:39Okay, dude.
00:10:40Too soon.
00:10:41I forgot I didn't drive.
00:10:55So you're really gay, huh?
00:11:01Yeah.
00:11:01You've had sex with women before.
00:11:08You dated Courtney for a year.
00:11:10She cried when she broke up with you.
00:11:12Yeah, but that was like, that was like two years ago.
00:11:17I mean, who have I been with since?
00:11:18I mean, I just thought you had really oddly high standards in women.
00:11:24I do.
00:11:25They just need to be dudes.
00:11:31So, why didn't you tell me before?
00:11:35I tried to tell you guys last night.
00:11:36Oh, man, I mean, like, way the fuck before.
00:11:39I don't know.
00:11:42Your parents know?
00:11:43No, God, no.
00:11:45It's hard enough telling you guys.
00:11:48Believe me, I wanted to tell you before.
00:11:51I wanted to tell you for, like, ever.
00:11:53You know?
00:11:57I didn't want things to be weird between us.
00:12:07Nothing's gonna change, man.
00:12:09I promise.
00:12:18What do we even talk about now?
00:12:36I can't believe you didn't know.
00:12:38It was so obvious.
00:12:40You knew?
00:12:40I mean, come on.
00:12:42He's a good-looking guy, and he's never tried to fuck any of my friends.
00:12:44So, that doesn't mean anything?
00:12:46My friends are hot.
00:12:49You know, you should invite him over for a threesome.
00:12:52I'm sure he'd love that.
00:12:54Oh, that's a great idea.
00:12:55Yeah, let me call him up right now.
00:12:56No, I'm serious.
00:12:58You know he wants you, right?
00:13:00Shut up.
00:13:00No, he doesn't want me.
00:13:02Now, just get hard because I have a date tonight.
00:13:04Oh, yeah?
00:13:05With him?
00:13:05Just some guy.
00:13:06Oh.
00:13:06Why?
00:13:07Are you jealous?
00:13:09Not at all.
00:13:09Should I be?
00:13:10Okay, well, just take your pants off, and don't touch my face because I feel like I'm starting
00:13:14to break out.
00:13:15Uh-oh.
00:13:34Hey, Paul.
00:13:35Dude, I guarantee you a hot-ass milf drives this thing, man, for sure.
00:13:40Actually, you know what?
00:13:4090,000 miles?
00:13:41I think she used to drive it, now the daughter drives it.
00:13:46Oh, yeah.
00:13:47Give that a whiff, man.
00:13:48I'm thinking 19, strawberry blonde, volleyball player, maybe.
00:13:51Take a rip.
00:13:52Get deep.
00:13:53Tell me I'm not.
00:13:54Hey, come on.
00:13:55Get back to work here.
00:13:56Let's go.
00:13:56Right.
00:13:57Checking the fucking mirrors, man.
00:13:59Let's go.
00:13:59Out of the car.
00:14:01See, this one's...
00:14:02I'm glad I checked this one.
00:14:03This one was fucked up.
00:14:04You think he's going to show?
00:14:10It's poker night.
00:14:12He'll be here.
00:14:12All right, boys.
00:14:31Last card.
00:14:32Man, so, uh, Chris, you ever call that fanny pack girl?
00:14:42Uh, no.
00:14:43What, it's the matter?
00:14:44Afraid your fuck buddy's going to get upset?
00:14:46Man, me and Jess are not buddies.
00:14:48We're not going to like each other.
00:14:48So, what's the problem?
00:14:50I can't remember that chick's name, dude.
00:14:51I drunkenly saved up my phone like an idiot.
00:14:54Let me see that.
00:14:55I'm really good with this stuff.
00:14:56Train.
00:15:00Train.
00:15:01You saved her name in your phone as train?
00:15:04Yeah.
00:15:05Uh, raise 20.
00:15:06Damn it.
00:15:07If you didn't get that 10 on the river, I could have sucked you dry.
00:15:10Hey, uh, can I see your phone?
00:15:18Mm-hmm.
00:15:20Yeah.
00:15:24All right, boys.
00:15:26Daddy's all in.
00:15:28See what you got.
00:15:29Stop that.
00:15:39Just cut it out, man.
00:15:39Come on, stop.
00:15:41Stop.
00:15:41Just, what?
00:15:42Dude, man, cut it out.
00:15:43I got two eights, okay?
00:15:46I call.
00:15:49Fuck this.
00:15:51That's probably Tracy.
00:15:53Well, if it starts with T-R-A, it's, you know, probably Tracy, right?
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59Yeah, I could see her being a Tracy.
00:16:03Yeah.
00:16:10Okay, I'm gonna head out.
00:16:12Uh, I'll see you guys tomorrow.
00:16:14All right.
00:16:15Tomorrow?
00:16:16Yeah, you guys are gonna come over for the hockey playoffs, right?
00:16:20Oh, yeah.
00:16:21Yeah, see you then, man.
00:16:22Cool.
00:16:25Okay.
00:16:26He definitely wants to fuck me.
00:16:31This is all your fault.
00:16:35My fault?
00:16:36Yeah.
00:16:36It's with your St. Gay rum and EDM.
00:16:39You're the one who turned Adam gay.
00:16:41Are you fucking serious?
00:16:42You're the one who goes to all these Taylor Swift concerts.
00:16:46First of all, T-Swift is a singing angel.
00:16:49Mr. Skinny Jeans and Ladies Deodorant.
00:16:51I've got sensitive underarms.
00:16:53It's not a secret.
00:16:53Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:16:54You do take bubble baths with the...
00:16:55Dude, you're the one who dragged us to see Les Mis.
00:16:57Oh, fuck you, man.
00:16:58Les Mis is a classic.
00:16:59Why don't you tweet about it?
00:17:00You don't have time to tweet because you're too busy sucking Adam dry.
00:17:02Oh, you were the one I fucking him all night.
00:17:04Okay, he was I fucking me.
00:17:05That's not what I saw, gay lord.
00:17:06You're full of it.
00:17:07I'm not a gay lord.
00:17:08I don't know a fantasy football team and I like Die Hard.
00:17:09All right, guys, guys, stop.
00:17:11Stop.
00:17:11We shouldn't blame anybody.
00:17:13He was obviously born gay.
00:17:14No.
00:17:15No, it's fine, guys, okay?
00:17:17I'll take the fall on this one.
00:17:18He...
00:17:19I'm too good looking.
00:17:20No, it's nobody's fault because there's nothing wrong with him.
00:17:23The same guy, right?
00:17:24Okay.
00:17:24Right?
00:17:50Right?
00:17:52Right?
00:17:53Right?
00:17:53Right?
00:17:54Take it away by Smith.
00:17:56Go Rangers!
00:17:58And the game is all tied up.
00:18:00The Rangers find the back of the net and the game is all tied up.
00:18:06Can someone just say something, please?
00:18:12Uh, so, um, you really like the cock, huh?
00:18:17As much as you like strippers.
00:18:20No one can be that gay.
00:18:23Sorry.
00:18:23No, it's fine.
00:18:24Just say it, please.
00:18:25I-I know you guys don't mean anything by it.
00:18:27You guys have been saying shit like that for years.
00:18:29You sure?
00:18:31Yeah.
00:18:32No one can be that gay.
00:18:34Yeah.
00:18:36Gay.
00:18:38Gay.
00:18:39Gay.
00:18:41It's empowering.
00:18:42You guys are watching porn again.
00:19:01Yeah, I know.
00:19:03For a gay dude, you sure can't take a goddamn picture.
00:19:06Dude mingle?
00:19:07Dude mingle?
00:19:07Yeah.
00:19:08Yeah.
00:19:08Yeah.
00:19:08Yeah.
00:19:09I mean, I'd fuck this guy.
00:19:10Okay.
00:19:10By the way, Adam's coming.
00:19:11Yeah.
00:19:12Hey, cutie, can't wait for tomorrow night?
00:19:17I think they banged.
00:19:18I mean, I'd fuck this guy.
00:19:19Okay.
00:19:20By the way, Adam's coming.
00:19:21Yeah, on Brad Star's lower neck.
00:19:22Oh, fuck.
00:19:23Go on.
00:19:26Icing.
00:19:27Oh, come on.
00:19:28You can't blow the whistle that quick.
00:19:29So fucking gay.
00:19:31No offense, Adam.
00:19:33No offense for what?
00:19:35Well, you said something about the gays, and then you apologized to Adam.
00:19:42Yeah, Adam doesn't like when we use profanity in his house, Martha.
00:19:46He cannot stand that shit.
00:19:48Sorry, Adam.
00:19:49No offense, Adam.
00:19:50Sorry, buddy.
00:19:51I had no idea he was so pious.
00:19:53I'm going to take him to my church group sometime.
00:19:56No offense.
00:19:56Sure.
00:19:57I wouldn't touch that.
00:19:58The battery's dead.
00:19:59I think my niece has one.
00:20:01Oh, it's neat.
00:20:02I can't.
00:20:06Yeah, I'll take that one.
00:20:07Thanks, Martha.
00:20:07It was really great.
00:20:08Appreciate it.
00:20:11Um.
00:20:11You all right?
00:20:13Yeah, I cleaned it for you.
00:20:14It's all clean now.
00:20:15Oh, no, nothing.
00:20:16I just feel a little faint.
00:20:17That's all.
00:20:17I think I'm going to go lie down.
00:20:19You know, it's getting late.
00:20:21Decent people lie down.
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:23Decent.
00:20:25That's what I'm doing.
00:20:26Decent.
00:20:29What?
00:20:36Menopause, man.
00:20:37It's a bitch.
00:20:38My mom slapped a kid at Macy's once.
00:20:40And then.
00:20:53You're welcome.
00:20:54Was it?
00:20:56You're welcome.
00:20:58You're welcome.
00:20:59You're welcome.
00:21:02Hey, sorry, uh, Ghostbusters was on.
00:21:19I totally lost track of time.
00:21:21Okay.
00:21:24All right.
00:21:27So, Brad.
00:21:28Why don't you take that profile picture?
00:21:38I'm sorry.
00:21:39That's not me.
00:21:40Oh.
00:21:41It's a little dishonest.
00:21:42Well, you know, but I felt like we had this real connection online,
00:21:47and I didn't want to run the risk of not getting to know you better
00:21:49because it's something as shallow as looks.
00:21:52Right?
00:21:54You're not shallow, are you?
00:21:55So, how's your friend feeling?
00:21:59Kim.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:01She says she's never drinking again.
00:22:03Never?
00:22:03Yeah.
00:22:04Wow.
00:22:05So, Friday then?
00:22:07Yeah, probably Thursday.
00:22:08Probably Thursday.
00:22:09Okay.
00:22:09Um, actually, on Thursday, it's karaoke night at the rail.
00:22:13Oh.
00:22:14You should come.
00:22:15I should.
00:22:16Yeah, and bring your friends.
00:22:18Adam, was it?
00:22:19Yeah, it was.
00:22:20Are you inviting me on a date?
00:22:21Yeah, like a group.
00:22:24A group gathering.
00:22:25It's fun.
00:22:26Yeah.
00:22:26It will be fun.
00:22:27Um, I would love to go.
00:22:29I don't think that Adam and Kim are gonna work.
00:22:33Why?
00:22:33Because she puked everywhere?
00:22:35No.
00:22:37He's gay.
00:22:38He's gay?
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:40Are you serious?
00:22:41He's gay.
00:22:41So, the two of you actually have slept together then?
00:22:44No, that was a joke.
00:22:45I didn't even know that he was gay until he woke me up and told me that next morning.
00:22:49Were you in bed together?
00:22:54This is cool and great.
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:56I love this place.
00:22:56It's cool.
00:22:58Oh, I got this.
00:22:59No, we can split it.
00:23:00No, no, you can make it up to me later.
00:23:03Now, what do you say we get out of here and head back to my place?
00:23:06You're gonna love my basement.
00:23:08I've got it totally pimped out.
00:23:10Xbox 360.
00:23:12Have you ever heard Huey Lewis and the News on vinyl?
00:23:15You want to take me to your basement?
00:23:16It'll be fun.
00:23:18Oh, did you want one of these?
00:23:19Sorry, it's Ropex.
00:23:20It's really great for, you know.
00:23:24It's made me feel so uncomfortable.
00:23:26Like, having a gay guy around, it makes him almost feel so...
00:23:29Oh, my God.
00:23:29What is wrong with you?
00:23:31What do you mean?
00:23:32Your friend just came out of the closet.
00:23:33You have any idea how hard that is?
00:23:35Yeah.
00:23:36It's been very hard.
00:23:38That's what I'm trying to tell you.
00:23:40No.
00:23:40Not for you.
00:23:41For him, you moron.
00:23:43Oh, my God.
00:23:44Your best friend just told you how his life is gonna change forever.
00:23:49And all you're concerned about is how it made poker night awkward.
00:23:53And hockey game.
00:23:55I'm kidding.
00:23:56Let's change the subject.
00:23:58These mojitos are really good.
00:23:59I know what you're thinking.
00:24:04A basement.
00:24:05Real romantic, right?
00:24:07Mm-hmm.
00:24:07But I'm telling you, it's totally discreet.
00:24:09Not even my wife is allowed down there.
00:24:11Shit.
00:24:12Man, that's awesome.
00:24:13I would love to.
00:24:14But I just have to go water my plants.
00:24:17Oh, water your plants, huh?
00:24:18Yeah.
00:24:19How's that one go?
00:24:20Uh, you tilt your head to the side.
00:24:23Oh, okay.
00:24:23Yeah, keep your eyes shut.
00:24:25And then...
00:24:27Then what?
00:24:31So, how was your date last night?
00:24:34Oh, dude.
00:24:36Long story short, Tracy thinks I'm a giant asshole.
00:24:39Oh, man.
00:24:40I thought girls like giant assholes.
00:24:42Not this one, man.
00:24:43She is different.
00:24:46Well.
00:24:49Adam, are you good?
00:24:53Are you happy?
00:24:55Yeah.
00:24:56I guess so.
00:24:57Okay.
00:24:58I figured, you know.
00:25:00You seem happy.
00:25:02Just...
00:25:02I told you that nothing was going to change.
00:25:04You guys are trying.
00:25:06Appreciate it.
00:25:08You know, things could have been a lot worse with Tracy.
00:25:11I doubt it.
00:25:13Really?
00:25:13Yeah.
00:25:14Was she 45 and married?
00:25:16Did she want to take you to her basement,
00:25:17make you a sex slave?
00:25:19What?
00:25:20Dude, what happened here?
00:25:21Nothing happened.
00:25:23At least you have Jess.
00:25:24I mean...
00:25:25I just want someone.
00:25:27Yeah.
00:25:28What are you talking about, man?
00:25:30You're a good-looking guy.
00:25:31I'm sure you've broken a million guys' hearts.
00:25:36Not really.
00:25:38I mean, Scott Lombardi, but that was six years ago.
00:25:42Scott Lombardi?
00:25:43Yeah.
00:25:44No!
00:25:45When you were helping him fix his Camaro?
00:25:47Oh, yeah.
00:25:47Yeah.
00:25:47Yeah.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:50Oh, wow.
00:25:53Yeah, but that was high school.
00:25:56I mean, think about how many girls you guys have been with since then.
00:25:59We need to cheer him up, guys.
00:26:09He's not happy.
00:26:11I don't think he's been happy for a while.
00:26:12Okay, well, I'm still not going to let him fuck me.
00:26:16Nick, nobody wants to fuck you.
00:26:18You're just...
00:26:18Now you're being a liar.
00:26:19Guys, can we take this seriously?
00:26:22I mean, do you have any idea what a depressed gay man is capable of?
00:26:25Writing a shitty emo song.
00:26:28Winning a Tony.
00:26:29Yeah, true.
00:26:30But loneliness sucks.
00:26:32I mean, what if Nick was lonely?
00:26:33If, hypothetically, Nick was a sad, lonely person?
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:36Because he pushes people away with his anger?
00:26:38Fuck you, man.
00:26:39I'm not...
00:26:39I plowed three and a half girls this last month.
00:26:42It's more than you plowed in the last...
00:26:44Half.
00:26:44Okay, but Adam is a real person.
00:26:46Fuck you, guys.
00:26:47I got feelings.
00:26:48Well, then prove it.
00:26:49Instead of turning everything into a fucking your mom joke.
00:26:54Okay, well, what do you want us to do?
00:26:57Yeah, there's like this, like, uh, the grinding kind of noise.
00:27:00Yeah, it's, uh, it's the head gasket.
00:27:02It's definitely the head gasket.
00:27:03Oh, yeah, that's what I thought it was.
00:27:05Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with you.
00:27:06Just change your oil.
00:27:09Hey, uh, can I...
00:27:11Can I ask you a question?
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14Uh, what's up?
00:27:20It's a power bottom.
00:27:23Do you really want to know?
00:27:27Yeah.
00:27:27No, no, fuck it.
00:27:28I can't.
00:27:29You're just gonna make a bunch of ass jokes, so...
00:27:34Uh...
00:27:35So you read any good books lately?
00:27:38Any literature?
00:27:39Uh, yeah, I mean, I read an article about Kinsey.
00:27:46Pretty good.
00:27:48What's, what's Kinsey, what's Kinsey?
00:27:50He's a sex scientist.
00:27:52Never heard of him?
00:27:54No.
00:27:55You want me to send it to you?
00:27:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be...
00:27:58Yeah, well, yeah, I'd love to read that.
00:28:01Well, don't you understand?
00:28:02You just swipe right if they're hot.
00:28:04Okay.
00:28:04You swipe left if they're busted.
00:28:07All right, and then what?
00:28:08And then you send them a message.
00:28:10It's simple.
00:28:11And there's always, you know, Grindr, too.
00:28:12Yeah, but that's only if you want to try to have butt sex like five minutes from now.
00:28:15What the fuck is Grindr?
00:28:18How do you know what Grindr is?
00:28:19How do you know what Grindr is?
00:28:23Okay, I don't, I just don't think that apps are gonna work.
00:28:26Well, you have to give it a chance, man.
00:28:28Put yourself out there.
00:28:29Flirt with them, but play hard to get.
00:28:31Let them know that you're into them, but make sure you don't text loud.
00:28:34Yeah, no, that's easy for you guys.
00:28:35I have to walk up to a guy and wonder, like,
00:28:37oh, am I gonna get punched in the face?
00:28:39And you guys can just walk up to any girl you want.
00:28:41Yeah, but then we have to hang out with girls.
00:28:43Just once, I'd like to go out to a nice dinner and a movie
00:28:45and not have to hold in a fart the whole time.
00:28:47You fart around Michelle all the time.
00:28:49Well, it took two years of farting and a Tupperware to get to that point.
00:28:53Mortu's right, man.
00:28:54As a gay man, you have the ultimate advantage.
00:28:57You're a fucking dude.
00:28:59It's easy to get another guy because you know exactly what dudes like to do.
00:29:02Yeah.
00:29:04Yeah, right?
00:29:06Go with your instincts.
00:29:08What do guys do again?
00:29:09You got that love
00:29:13That rises like the sun
00:29:16Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:29:19You got a time and another run
00:29:23When I can't get enough
00:29:25Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:29:29I wanna make you go wild
00:29:33And watch you glow in the light
00:29:36You mean that's something inside of me
00:29:39The doubt has sent me away
00:29:43To break you out of your cage
00:29:45I'll get you higher than you'll ever be
00:29:49Yeah
00:29:50I was on to the ground
00:29:54When you turned me around
00:29:56Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:30:00And I'm counting on you
00:30:04To carry me through
00:30:06Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:30:10And I'm living my dream
00:30:14Watching you move to your screen
00:30:16Girl, he knows what you do to me
00:30:20It's a nice place
00:30:23Yeah, yeah
00:30:24It's good
00:30:24So, uh, your Tinder profile said that Scarface is your favorite movie?
00:30:28Yeah, yeah, it's one of my favorites
00:30:30Fucking right on, bro
00:30:31I hate these queers who think that being gay is an excuse to have no balls
00:30:35I'm gay, but I love Scarface
00:30:38Yeah
00:30:38No, I fucking live it
00:30:40This was a terrible idea
00:30:44I mean, don't you feel it?
00:30:45Everyone is staring at us
00:30:46Uh, I don't see anybody staring at us
00:30:51Just take a picture, why don't you?
00:30:58It's like she's never seen two guys share a meal together
00:31:01It's like sharing a meal
00:31:02Tony would have hated this place
00:31:08I'm sorry, who?
00:31:09Tony, my ex-boyfriend
00:31:10Oh
00:31:11It's so dark and so mysterious
00:31:13It's still real
00:31:14I don't even know why we broke up
00:31:16Can't imagine why
00:31:17Say a lot to my real friend
00:31:20Do you like that?
00:31:23Do you think you're so tough?
00:31:24Oh, she's looking at me over there
00:31:25She doesn't like that one
00:31:26No, no, no, sorry
00:31:27Nothing against you
00:31:28We're just doing Scarface first date over here
00:31:30You want one of my french fries, bro?
00:31:33It's just like a little phase that I am going through
00:31:35I do a lot of girls, too
00:31:37Yeah
00:31:37So
00:31:38You look like you would
00:31:39Thanks
00:31:41He had the most fantastic cock
00:31:44Well, he did
00:31:47It was this big
00:31:50I don't really know what I'm going to get
00:31:54I'm probably just going to get a beer
00:31:55You have so many choices, I think me, too
00:31:58So, your profile says you're into gardening?
00:32:08Yeah
00:32:08Yeah, it's just something I used to do with my mom
00:32:11I should probably know what these are, but I have no clue
00:32:14I definitely don't
00:32:16You know, I always went to try that, but everyone says it's for old people
00:32:20Yeah, I don't know why everyone says that
00:32:22Yeah, I don't get it
00:32:23Nah, I mean, I'm 24, but I don't have to wait until I retire to get, like, fresh vine-ripened tomatoes
00:32:27You know?
00:32:28I want them now
00:32:29Yeah
00:32:30You want to get nachos?
00:32:35Uh, yeah, I'd love some
00:32:37No
00:32:50No
00:32:51Uh
00:33:04Mm.
00:33:24Two nacho platters on a first date.
00:33:26What were you thinking?
00:33:27First nice guy I meet and I almost make him pass out.
00:33:30Fuck that arrogant prick, man.
00:33:32He's not nice.
00:33:34If you can't enjoy the smell of another man's farts,
00:33:36then you don't want to know that man.
00:33:39It's not that big of a deal.
00:33:41It's just my parents, they, uh...
00:33:42They smelled it, too?
00:33:44Wait, they were there?
00:33:45No, my parents invited me over to dinner tonight.
00:33:48Okay.
00:33:49Oh, wow.
00:33:50Well, that's awesome, man.
00:33:51What's Karen making?
00:33:52Maybe I'll stop by.
00:33:54I'm gonna tell them.
00:33:57Oh.
00:33:59Well, good luck with that.
00:34:01I'm sure they're gonna understand.
00:34:04Maybe you guys could come.
00:34:08Hey, this was tonight?
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:09Yeah, no, tonight I'm doing a...
00:34:11Uh, Michelle and I have a group on...
00:34:14I-I would, yeah, I-I would come over,
00:34:16but, you know, I'd probably just say something...
00:34:17Just say something stupid and make it way worse.
00:34:21Yeah.
00:34:22What about you, Chris?
00:34:24My parents love you, maybe, you know, like, make it easier.
00:34:39Of course, man.
00:34:40Okay.
00:34:41So, Adam, how are things?
00:34:47Mom, I'm gay.
00:34:48I'm sorry, man.
00:34:50Can I just be your dad again?
00:34:51No, I need to be ready for anything.
00:34:53And don't be afraid to be mean.
00:34:54I can handle it.
00:34:54That's why I have these note cards.
00:34:55Meaner.
00:34:56Okay.
00:34:57Yeah.
00:34:57Got it.
00:35:07Mom, I'm gay.
00:35:08What?
00:35:09That's disgusting.
00:35:10Uh...
00:35:11How could you do this to me after I brought you into this world?
00:35:14Anderson Cooper.
00:35:15I'm a terrible mother.
00:35:16Uh, Ricky Martin.
00:35:18I'm a terrible mother.
00:35:19Uh, uh, uh, uh, Neil Patrick Harris!
00:35:20Neil Patrick Harris!
00:35:21What, uh, what?
00:35:22Are your notes just a list of famous gay dudes?
00:35:24No, I have lesbians, too.
00:35:25Okay, forget the list, dude.
00:35:26Just be honest.
00:35:28What's the worst that could happen?
00:35:30My mom has a heart attack and my dad freaks out
00:35:32because I'm never going to give him grandkids.
00:35:34Jesus, man.
00:35:35You're gay, not sterile.
00:35:38And your dad collects antique clocks.
00:35:40He'll understand.
00:35:41Yeah.
00:35:44Yeah.
00:35:46Sorry to keep everybody waiting.
00:35:48For your cooking, Karen, I would wait all night if I had to.
00:35:51Chris.
00:35:52I'm telling you, this salad is incredible.
00:35:54How is everything?
00:35:55You still dating Jessica?
00:35:57Yeah, sometimes.
00:35:59Okay.
00:36:00Mm-hmm.
00:36:01What about you, Adam?
00:36:02When am I going to see you with a nice girl?
00:36:05Gee, Mom, I don't know.
00:36:06Lindsey has a boyfriend.
00:36:07Did she tell you?
00:36:07No.
00:36:08Actually, Mom, we broke up last week.
00:36:10Good.
00:36:10He's been trying to Snapchat me non-stop since.
00:36:12Ah, I hate Snapchat.
00:36:14If he gives you any trouble, let me know, okay?
00:36:16Adam and I will take care of it.
00:36:17Yeah.
00:36:19Chris, do you think Jessica has someone for our Adam?
00:36:21You know what?
00:36:22You may be onto something there, Karen.
00:36:24What about Dorothy Cuda?
00:36:25Do you two have a thing?
00:36:27Uh, yeah, we went to junior prom like six years ago.
00:36:29But you two were so cute together.
00:36:32Did I tell you that I ran into her mother at the grocery store the other day?
00:36:34No.
00:36:35She told me that Dorothy is back in town, and she's single, you know.
00:36:38Great.
00:36:39So?
00:36:40So, make yourself available.
00:36:42It feels like forever since you broke up with Courtney.
00:36:45It's time to move on.
00:36:46Get yourself back out there.
00:36:48Yep.
00:36:49Yep, you're right.
00:36:50And, uh, actually, I have been.
00:36:54It's true.
00:36:55He's actually been going on a lot of dates lately, meeting some interesting people.
00:36:58Yeah.
00:36:59Anything serious?
00:37:01Uh, no.
00:37:03I don't want to sound like one of those crazy old mothers that does nothing but hound her
00:37:08son for grandkids.
00:37:09It would just be nice to see you with someone.
00:37:11And what if I never meet somebody?
00:37:13You will.
00:37:14You're going to meet a great girl sooner than you think.
00:37:16No, I'm not.
00:37:17I...
00:37:18I...
00:37:19I...
00:37:24Elton John.
00:37:27What's Rocket Man have to do with anything?
00:37:38So, you're going on a double date?
00:37:40Yeah.
00:37:41I think Adam's excited about it.
00:37:43Yes!
00:37:44Ah!
00:37:45Hey, why didn't you ever set me up with your Jess's hot friends?
00:37:48You banged two that never called them again.
00:37:50Okay.
00:37:51They never called me either.
00:37:52So, what am I supposed to do?
00:37:55Oh.
00:37:56One second, boys.
00:37:57I'll get it.
00:38:02Hey, Martha.
00:38:04Hello, Chris.
00:38:05Just dropping this off for Adam.
00:38:06Could you see that he gets it before it's too late in the eyes of God?
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:11Yeah, of course.
00:38:15Four, two.
00:38:20I hope you're hungry.
00:38:21Oh, fuck.
00:38:22Free cake.
00:38:25Oh.
00:38:27What the hell is Camp Leviticus?
00:38:29I think it's one of those conversion camps for gay dudes.
00:38:32If you want to make a gay dude straight, you've got to show a little more cleavage on that cake.
00:38:35Actually, according to an article I was reading, the APA has no proof that a change in sexual orientation is even possible.
00:38:42Hey, man, sorry we kind of outed you to her.
00:38:44Oh, I don't care.
00:38:45She thinks we're all gay.
00:38:46Wait a minute.
00:38:47Wait a minute.
00:38:48You have a date tonight and you're wearing those pants with those shoes?
00:38:50And that loose shirt?
00:38:51You can't even see your abs.
00:38:52So I tell the curator, you see the name on the wall?
00:38:58This is my gallery.
00:39:00If I want to submit a 15 by 8, I'm going to submit a 15 by 8 and that shut them up.
00:39:05So fast.
00:39:06I bet I did.
00:39:08Uh, what do you paint exactly?
00:39:10A mostly abstract postmodern deconstructionalism peppered with neoclassical ideologies.
00:39:16Wow, that's a lot.
00:39:18So Jess tells me you're a mechanic.
00:39:20Yeah.
00:39:21Yeah.
00:39:22Do mostly everything, small repairs, tune-ups.
00:39:25Great mechanic.
00:39:26Thanks, man.
00:39:27God, how do you do it?
00:39:29You're going through life every day never creating art.
00:39:32I couldn't imagine.
00:39:33Yeah.
00:39:34Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
00:39:36You know, I actually sketch every day.
00:39:39I just don't have the talent that you have.
00:39:41We should check out my gallery sometime.
00:39:43Maybe I can inspire you after you have to go to this great city place and across the street is this fabulous routine.
00:39:47I take some of my other girlfriends there, but they don't have the body for the place.
00:39:50Oh.
00:39:51Oh, stop.
00:39:52I said it.
00:39:53I just said it.
00:39:54I said it.
00:39:55There it goes.
00:39:56You just said it.
00:39:57Oh, my gosh.
00:39:58I gotta take you to Taco Bell sometime.
00:39:59I got this fabulous new gordita.
00:40:01Oh, really?
00:40:02Wow.
00:40:03I have the body for you.
00:40:04You do.
00:40:05Oh, I do.
00:40:07You just said it.
00:40:08I said it.
00:40:09Mark, do you want to come outside and smoke with me?
00:40:10I want to hear all about this boutique.
00:40:11Oh, usually I'd say no, but two marbs and I start smoking like a little hot tamale.
00:40:14Oh, wow.
00:40:15Oh, wow.
00:40:16He seems non-threatening.
00:40:17I hate him.
00:40:18Okay.
00:40:19Hello, Adam.
00:40:20Nice to see you here.
00:40:21Is this the reason you're not texting me back?
00:40:22Uh, no.
00:40:23No, it's not what it looks like.
00:40:24Oh, no.
00:40:25We're not dating.
00:40:26Oh, I'm sorry.
00:40:27Yeah.
00:40:28I suppose I fly off the handle.
00:40:29Sorry about that.
00:40:30We're engaged.
00:40:31What?
00:40:32Right, Chris?
00:40:33Oh, this is Brad.
00:40:34Brad, remember I was telling you about him?
00:40:35Oh, honeyduder.
00:40:36Yeah.
00:40:37This is Brad Star?
00:40:38Mm-hmm.
00:40:39Brad Star, it is a pleasure to meet you.
00:40:40No, I'm not gonna shake your hand.
00:40:41I could've given you everything.
00:40:42You know that, right?
00:40:43And you tossed me aside for nothing but a gigolo.
00:40:44Oh, whoa.
00:40:45He's not a gigolo.
00:40:46He's awesome.
00:40:47Oh, no.
00:40:48He's awesome.
00:40:49Oh, no.
00:40:50Oh, no.
00:40:51Oh, no.
00:40:52Oh, no.
00:40:53Oh, no.
00:40:54Oh, no.
00:40:55Oh, no.
00:40:56Oh, no.
00:40:57Oh, no.
00:40:58Oh, no.
00:40:59Oh, no.
00:41:00Oh, no.
00:41:01Oh, no.
00:41:02Oh, no.
00:41:03Oh, no.
00:41:04Oh, no.
00:41:05Oh, no.
00:41:06Oh, no.
00:41:07He's my best friend.
00:41:08What's going on here?
00:41:09Who are you?
00:41:10Who the hell are you?
00:41:11I'm Eric Peters.
00:41:12Adam's date.
00:41:13Uh, yeah.
00:41:14Yep.
00:41:15Okay.
00:41:16I see.
00:41:17So, apparently, I'm the only guy here who you're not fucking.
00:41:19Is that right?
00:41:20Uh, why didn't you tell me you're into group stuff, silly?
00:41:24What are we?
00:41:25Right?
00:41:26We go down to my basement, all of us.
00:41:27It'd be fun.
00:41:28Ooh.
00:41:29Group thing.
00:41:30Yeah.
00:41:31Think about it.
00:41:32Text me later, okay?
00:41:33Mm-hmm.
00:41:34Well, I should've seen it before.
00:41:37It's so obvious.
00:41:38With your perfect hair and those, look at my crotch jeans.
00:41:42Mm, and you should see him dance when he gets two marks on him, right?
00:41:46Oh, no.
00:41:47They're not.
00:41:48Fine.
00:41:49Call it bisexual, but it helps you sleep at night.
00:41:51Okay.
00:41:52Okay, this is enough.
00:41:53I don't know what's going on.
00:41:54Chris, tell Mark that you and Adam haven't slept together.
00:41:57Yeah, tell him.
00:41:58Wow.
00:41:59I guess we didn't do a whole lot of sleeping, right?
00:42:01No, we definitely didn't.
00:42:02Well, maybe, like, a little bit, like, in there, in between, but, like, mostly it was
00:42:06just going at it.
00:42:07Mark, you have no idea how good it is.
00:42:08I-I mean, I hate even talking about it over dinner, but...
00:42:11Yeah.
00:42:12Don't brag.
00:42:13I would die if I couldn't create fabulous multiple orgasms with you every night.
00:42:17Oh, that means the world to me.
00:42:18Well, thanks for the invite, Jess, but I can tell when I'm not wanted.
00:42:21What?
00:42:22Really?
00:42:23My boy, Ezak, is DJing over at the Ince-Ince bar tonight, and I was gonna get going anyway.
00:42:28Oh, it was really nice to meet you.
00:42:29Yeah.
00:42:30Kiss, kiss.
00:42:31Ew, ew.
00:42:37Great headband.
00:42:41Ew, ew, ew, ew.
00:42:43Kiss, kiss.
00:42:44What kind of gay are you?
00:42:45What?
00:42:46You are hating on your own kind.
00:42:47Yeah, I don't hate him because he's gay.
00:42:48No, he hates him because he sucks balls.
00:42:50Oh, you are such an asshole.
00:42:51I'm an asshole?
00:42:52You're an asshole for making us hang out with this guy.
00:42:54What made you think that Adam would ever like that prick?
00:42:57Well, Adam's gay.
00:42:58And he's gay.
00:42:59So, what else is there?
00:43:00Uh, attraction, mutual interest.
00:43:02Not being a giant raging douchebag.
00:43:04Oh, that's on your list, too?
00:43:07Well, since you two have so much in common, why don't you fuck him tonight because we're over?
00:43:12Okay, Jess, we're kidding.
00:43:15Let's go.
00:43:16Goodbye.
00:43:17Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:43:22I'm sorry, okay?
00:43:23We're kidding.
00:43:24We're just joking around.
00:43:25Mmm, maybe you are.
00:43:27But Adam's not.
00:43:29You know, you probably shouldn't joke around.
00:43:31You're only screwing with his head.
00:43:32Okay, what are you talking about?
00:43:34Chris, I told you this would happen.
00:43:37Adam likes you.
00:43:38Adam does not like me.
00:43:40I know what I'm talking about.
00:43:42I'm a girl.
00:43:43I notice these things.
00:43:44Adam didn't even give Mark a chance.
00:43:46He barely even looked at him because he was too busy staring at you all night.
00:43:49No, it's because looking at Mark makes you want to murder someone.
00:43:51Mmm, okay, okay.
00:43:53Fine.
00:43:54Don't believe me.
00:43:55But when you wake up one morning tied to your bed with Adam's tongue in your ass,
00:43:58don't come crying back to me.
00:44:00Hey, man, there you are.
00:44:09You want me to get gay?
00:44:11What?
00:44:12I got two shots.
00:44:13You want one?
00:44:14Yeah.
00:44:15Yeah, sure.
00:44:17Cheers, man.
00:44:18Cheers, dude.
00:44:23Oh.
00:44:24God, it does not get any easier.
00:44:26Oh, but can we have two more?
00:44:30You should do it.
00:44:36No.
00:44:37Yep.
00:44:38No.
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:40You should do it.
00:44:41You should call her.
00:44:42Abso-frickin-lutely not.
00:44:43Never again, man.
00:44:44I don't care how hot she is or how good of blowjays she gives.
00:44:47No!
00:44:48She's a crazy bitch.
00:44:49I'm not talking about Jess.
00:44:50I'm talking about Tracy.
00:44:51Nah, man, I already blew that one.
00:44:54If I call her now, I'm just gonna look desperate.
00:44:56Besides, man, girls like her do not go for guys like me.
00:44:59Girls like what?
00:45:00You talk about her like she's perfect.
00:45:02You don't even know her.
00:45:03I know her.
00:45:04I know her.
00:45:05I know she's got enough balls to wear a fanny pack to a bar.
00:45:07She's cool enough to like mojitos and Ghostbusters.
00:45:10She's funny, smart, so sweet.
00:45:12Aw, man.
00:45:13Now you sound like the gay one.
00:45:16Fuck you.
00:45:17Okay.
00:45:18Just fucking call her, dude.
00:45:19Hey, Tracy.
00:45:20It's Chris.
00:45:21All right.
00:45:22Hey, Tracy.
00:45:23It's Chris.
00:45:24Hey.
00:45:25Hey.
00:45:26Hey.
00:45:27Hey.
00:45:28Hey.
00:45:29I'm not here right now, so just leave me a message and I'll call you right back.
00:45:33Um, I'm just calling to, uh, to make sure that you, uh, you didn't, no one bother, um, uh, that everything worked out just fine that evening.
00:45:46Um, just calling to, uh, to make sure that you, uh, you didn't, no one, no one bothered, um, uh, that everything worked out just fine that evening.
00:45:59Um, just calling to wish you a happy day.
00:46:03Anyways, um, cute voicemail.
00:46:06Uh, it's Chris.
00:46:07Bye.
00:46:16Here you go, dude.
00:46:22Nothing cures a hangover like a hidden doober.
00:46:24Thanks.
00:46:25What'd you guys do last night, anyway?
00:46:28I went on a double date with Chris.
00:46:31Okay.
00:46:32Really?
00:46:33Yeah, I mean, like, think about it.
00:46:34What can you not do on a double date?
00:46:36You can't get your fuck on.
00:46:37Am I right?
00:46:38Did you fuck her?
00:46:40You didn't fuck her.
00:46:41Did you fuck her?
00:46:42No.
00:46:43No.
00:46:44You dirty dog?
00:46:45See, that's what I'm saying.
00:46:46See, next time, bring her to your house, alright?
00:46:48So it's just the two of you.
00:46:49Rent a horror movie.
00:46:50Clean the bathroom.
00:46:51Put some candles out, man.
00:46:52They appreciate that stuff.
00:46:54Put a tie on.
00:46:55You know what I mean?
00:46:56Also, get the lube going before she...
00:46:57Hey, you got any visine?
00:46:58Why?
00:46:59Ronnie's not coming back.
00:47:00Uh, yeah, no, it's, it's a customer.
00:47:01I don't want to look unprofessional.
00:47:02But then...
00:47:03I'm telling you.
00:47:04Ten minutes.
00:47:05You got any gum?
00:47:06Your shorts are gonna be off.
00:47:07Gum?
00:47:08How hot is this girl, man?
00:47:09Never, you know what?
00:47:10Never mind.
00:47:11Forget it.
00:47:12Hey, um...
00:47:13How's it going?
00:47:14I think something's wrong with my car.
00:47:16It's been overheating a lot, and sometimes it just shuts off completely.
00:47:20Ah.
00:47:21Yeah, it sounds like it could be a radiator.
00:47:23Just pop it open.
00:47:24Eh.
00:47:25I'll pop this.
00:47:26I can get it.
00:47:27It's sometimes a little tricky.
00:47:29Oh, sorry.
00:47:31I don't know.
00:47:32By all means.
00:47:33Okay.
00:47:37Oh.
00:47:38I'll get that.
00:47:39Thanks.
00:47:41You know what?
00:47:42It could be your DC inverter.
00:47:44Really?
00:47:45Uh, yeah.
00:47:46What's a DC converter?
00:47:49It's an inverter.
00:47:51It's what, uh, makes your car work.
00:47:55Oh, yeah!
00:47:56They have arrived.
00:47:57The official invites to Papa Ortu's 4th of July barbecue bash.
00:48:01See you there, and see you there, and you better RSVP this time.
00:48:06Fuck that.
00:48:07You know I'm going.
00:48:08Why do I need to RSVP?
00:48:09Because my dad's sick and tired of running out of ribs.
00:48:10If you don't RSVP, you don't get any ribs.
00:48:13Whoa!
00:48:14Slow down, Tiger.
00:48:15What's up with you?
00:48:16I think I met someone.
00:48:18Seriously?
00:48:19Who?
00:48:20Well, I don't know his name exactly, but we had a moment.
00:48:22A moment?
00:48:23Like, where was this?
00:48:24In a truck stop?
00:48:25I don't know so much about gay things.
00:48:26No, he was, I don't even know if he's gay.
00:48:28Don't you have gaydar?
00:48:29Kind of.
00:48:30If you had gaydar, you'd know that Nick loves the cock.
00:48:36So, what did this gentleman's pants look like?
00:48:38Could you see his ankles?
00:48:39Uh...
00:48:40Was he, like, wearing a tank top?
00:48:41Were his nipples pierced?
00:48:42Yeah, what about his underwear?
00:48:43Did it have, like, a brightly colored elastic band?
00:48:45Super jacked?
00:48:46He was a normal guy with, like, earth tone colors,
00:48:49full-length pants, no nipple piercings.
00:48:51I couldn't really see his underwear, but I was probably to exist,
00:48:54and he had, like, muscles, but not, like, too muscly.
00:48:56He was probably...
00:48:57He was, like, a normal dude.
00:48:58Ooh.
00:48:59Uh...
00:49:00Oh!
00:49:01How did he eat a banana?
00:49:02How would you eat a banana?
00:49:03Like, put the whole thing in and pull out just the peel.
00:49:06Okay, then that's exactly...
00:49:07I don't know!
00:49:08Guys, guys, it says he...
00:49:09It says that people in North Korea aren't even allowed to eat bananas.
00:49:12They don't know it...
00:49:13They don't know they exist.
00:49:15I did not know that.
00:49:17Wow.
00:49:18Okay, look, all I know is that this guy, he was super friendly,
00:49:21and at some point we, like, had eye contact for two seconds.
00:49:25Two seconds?
00:49:26That's nothing.
00:49:27That's just, like, being a polite gentleman.
00:49:28Like, look.
00:49:29See?
00:49:30I'm not gay.
00:49:31That's not...
00:49:32Two seconds.
00:49:33You wanna do two seconds?
00:49:34Two seconds.
00:49:35Here we go.
00:49:36Three...
00:49:37Two...
00:49:38Miss...
00:49:39Oh!
00:49:40Oh!
00:49:41Wow!
00:49:42See, I took...
00:49:43So he's gay?
00:49:44He's gay.
00:49:45I think you're in luck.
00:49:46He's super gay, man.
00:49:48Alright.
00:49:49Cool.
00:49:50I met someone.
00:49:51Are you wearing a cologne day?
00:49:52Yeah.
00:49:53To hide the pot smell.
00:49:55Did you smoke pot today without me?
00:49:57Are you...
00:49:58Is this what these bananas are for?
00:49:59Who do you think drives this car?
00:50:01Um...
00:50:02I don't know.
00:50:03It's a hybrid, dude.
00:50:04It's got a Save the Whales Bomber sticker.
00:50:06Probably some gay-ass hippie.
00:50:07Really?
00:50:08You think so?
00:50:09Oh, yeah.
00:50:34Adam.
00:50:35Triple-A just called.
00:50:36Some girl locked her keys in the car over on Hillside.
00:50:38Black Wrangler.
00:50:39I need you to go now.
00:50:40Oh.
00:50:41Ron, I'll do it, man.
00:50:42Did she sound 18 on the phone?
00:50:43Why?
00:50:44So you could get stoned for two hours and jerked off into Wendy's bathroom?
00:50:47Once.
00:50:48And at one time?
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:50That's all it takes.
00:50:51Here.
00:50:52Buddy, get over there, Adam.
00:50:53I need you right now.
00:50:54Let's go.
00:50:55You're all set.
00:50:56Thanks for coming in.
00:50:57Thanks again.
00:50:59Oh, hey.
00:51:00Hey.
00:51:01Hi.
00:51:02Hi.
00:51:03Is there something wrong with the car still?
00:51:04No.
00:51:05You just, um...
00:51:06You forgot your chapstick.
00:51:07Oh.
00:51:08Wait a minute.
00:51:09Did you take this from my glove box?
00:51:10No.
00:51:11Okay.
00:51:12Yeah, I did.
00:51:13But I was just...
00:51:14It was an accident.
00:51:15I didn't use it or anything.
00:51:16I just smelt it.
00:51:17Oh.
00:51:18Okay.
00:51:19Thanks.
00:51:20Thanks.
00:51:21Hi.
00:51:22Hi.
00:51:23Hi.
00:51:24Hi.
00:51:25Hi.
00:51:26Hi.
00:51:27Hi.
00:51:28Hi.
00:51:29Hi.
00:51:30Hi.
00:51:31Hi.
00:51:32Hi.
00:51:33Hi.
00:51:34Hi.
00:51:35Hi.
00:51:36Hi.
00:51:37Hi.
00:51:38Hi.
00:51:39Hi.
00:51:40Hi.
00:51:41Hi.
00:51:42Hi.
00:51:43Hi.
00:51:44Hi.
00:51:45Hi.
00:51:46Hi.
00:51:47Hi.
00:51:48Hi.
00:51:49Hi.
00:51:50Hi.
00:51:51Hi.
00:51:52Hi.
00:51:53Hi.
00:51:54Hi.
00:51:55Hi.
00:51:56Hi.
00:51:57Hi.
00:51:58Hi.
00:51:59Hi.
00:52:00Hi.
00:52:01Hi.
00:52:02Hi.
00:52:03Hi.
00:52:04Hi.
00:52:05Hi.
00:52:06Hi.
00:52:07Hi.
00:52:08Hi.
00:52:09It's so hot out. Did you see them?
00:52:11Are they big? Pleasant? Normal? Medium-sized?
00:52:14I don't know titties! I'm gay!
00:52:34Hey. Hey, man.
00:52:37Wash your hands and put on a clean shirt.
00:52:38What for?
00:52:40Oh, shoot. They're early.
00:52:41Too early.
00:52:42Adam, why don't you put on one of your father's shirts?
00:52:45Chris, do you mind answering the door, please?
00:52:46Whatever you say, kid. Why do I have to change?
00:52:48Your mom invited Dorothy Cuda and her mother over for dinner tonight.
00:52:52What? Why? Why did you do that?
00:52:54Don't be nervous. Dorothy likes you. Her mother told me so.
00:52:58Well, what if I don't like Dorothy Cuda?
00:52:59How could you not like Dorothy Cuda?
00:53:01Uh, well, there's a lot of reasons why I don't like Dorothy Cuda.
00:53:04Father O'Malley, Martha, what are you doing here?
00:53:08What are you doing out of bed, Adam?
00:53:10What?
00:53:11Now, I'm not here to impose.
00:53:14I know this is a difficult time, so enjoy your last meal with your family.
00:53:19I can give last rites after.
00:53:21Last rites? Why would you give my son last rites?
00:53:24He's about to die, isn't he?
00:53:27What?
00:53:28No.
00:53:29I'm sorry, Father, but it's worse than death.
00:53:32It's a matter of eternal damnation.
00:53:35Adam, what on earth is she talking about?
00:53:42I'm gay, Mom.
00:53:43That is not funny. Do not joke like that in front of Father O'Malley.
00:53:47I'm serious. I'm gay.
00:53:48I'm gay.
00:53:49I'm gay.
00:53:50I like guys.
00:53:52But what about Dorothy Cuda?
00:53:54What about Dorothy Cuda?
00:53:55She's on her way.
00:53:56I don't understand why you don't understand this.
00:53:58I'm gay.
00:53:59I'm gay.
00:54:00Like...
00:54:01Like...
00:54:02So stop forcing Dorothy Cuda on me.
00:54:08Adam.
00:54:09What's eating that?
00:54:11Oh, seriously? You're upset about a frickin' sausage?
00:54:23Oh, come on. No, dude. The night is set. We're going to Duffy's.
00:54:27What about Adam?
00:54:28We will be there for him. At Duffy's.
00:54:31Come on, guys. How many strip clubs have we dragged Adam to?
00:54:34Okay, that's irrelevant.
00:54:35How many dollars has he shoved down skanky Russian breasts for you?
00:54:38And how many times has he fixed your piece of shit car?
00:54:40My car is not a piece of shit.
00:54:42It's a piece of shit.
00:54:43When Adam came out, I told him, I promised him, that nothing was going to change.
00:54:48I think we've been pretty fuckin' cool about that.
00:54:50We've done a decent job, but it's not good enough. Things should change.
00:54:56He needs this, boys. He needs us.
00:55:10So, where are we going?
00:55:20Are you serious? You're not going to tell me?
00:55:24All right.
00:55:26Are we really going to...
00:55:39Seriously?
00:55:41Remember, don't make eye contact with anyone.
00:55:45Never leave each other's sight. No matter what.
00:55:47What?
00:55:49Wait for us!
00:55:52You know what you want to be number one.
00:56:03You know what you want to be number one.
00:56:05You know what you want to be number one.
00:56:10You know what I want to be number one.
00:56:15You know what I want to be number one.
00:56:19There are four buds.
00:56:24Actually, can you make those vodka sodas?
00:56:27What a gay bar.
00:56:29Vodka sodas it is.
00:56:31There's actually some girls here.
00:56:33We're gonna come all night downtown for me looking at girls.
00:56:36Yeah, man, you better get at least eight dudes' phone numbers tonight,
00:56:39and they better be fucking adorable.
00:56:46Cheers.
00:56:47Cheers.
00:56:48First time in a...
00:56:50Okay, nice.
00:56:51Act like you've been there before, boys.
00:56:53Uh, should we dance?
00:56:55Um, no, I'm good.
00:56:56Aw, man, how are you gonna meet anybody with your back up against the bar?
00:56:59Let's go.
00:57:01I'll hold down.
00:57:03Make sure no one roofies us.
00:57:05So much for sticking together.
00:57:08Come on, baby, bring your egg in.
00:57:15This is weird.
00:57:17Ow.
00:57:20Like...
00:57:21Relax.
00:57:22Feel the groove, man.
00:57:24There we go.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:26You look hot.
00:57:27Thanks.
00:57:28You look really, really good.
00:57:29All right.
00:57:30Shake your dick, let's go.
00:57:31All right.
00:57:32Show him how it's done, man.
00:57:33Show him how it's done.
00:57:34Boom.
00:57:35Just rotate around.
00:57:36There you go.
00:57:37Just rotate like that.
00:57:38Take a shot, please.
00:57:47Wait, wait for me, guys.
00:57:48Yeah!
00:57:49Yeah!
00:57:50Woo!
00:57:51Woo!
00:57:52Woo!
00:57:53Adam?
00:57:54Hi.
00:57:55What are you doing here?
00:57:56Hi.
00:57:57Hi.
00:57:58Wait one second.
00:57:59Um, Chris.
00:58:00Hey.
00:58:01What are you doing here?
00:58:02I'm new with my brother and his boyfriend.
00:58:03Yeah, they're really hitting it off with your friends.
00:58:04They sure are.
00:58:05Um, look, the voicemail that I left you.
00:58:06What?
00:58:07The voicemail I left the other night.
00:58:08I'm sorry.
00:58:09I don't know what I...
00:58:10It's fine.
00:58:11Don't worry about it.
00:58:12Let's just dance.
00:58:13Okay.
00:58:14Okay.
00:58:15Okay.
00:58:16Okay.
00:58:17Okay.
00:58:18Okay.
00:58:19Okay.
00:58:20Okay.
00:58:21Okay.
00:58:22Okay.
00:58:23Okay.
00:58:24Okay.
00:58:25Okay.
00:58:26Okay.
00:58:27Okay.
00:58:28Okay.
00:58:29Okay.
00:58:30Okay.
00:58:31Okay.
00:58:32Okay.
00:58:33Okay.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:57That's the last time I order a hot dog at a gay bar.
00:59:00So, how was your ass first time at a gay bar?
00:59:03I was just dancing.
00:59:04That is all.
00:59:05Honestly, I thought it'd be a lot gayer.
00:59:06I'm kind of disappointed.
00:59:07That was good.
00:59:08It was really good.
00:59:09It was good.
00:59:10So, how'd you two meet?
00:59:11Actually, we worked at the same office for years.
00:59:12I was already out to everyone there.
00:59:13Steve wasn't.
00:59:14So, things developed rather slowly.
00:59:15Eight months of asking to borrow his whole puncher.
00:59:16I thought he'd get the hint.
00:59:17So, there's just one thing that I still can't wrap my head around.
00:59:18How does a gay man let his sister walk out in public with a fanny pack on?
00:59:22What?
00:59:23I'm sorry.
00:59:24I'm sorry.
00:59:25I'm sorry, Tracy.
00:59:26I can do better.
00:59:27Trust me.
00:59:28Wait, what did you call me?
00:59:29Tracy.
00:59:30Who's Tracy?
00:59:31Who's Tracy?
00:59:32Who isn't Tracy?
00:59:33I'm kidding.
00:59:34I'm kidding.
00:59:35Tracy.
00:59:36Tracy.
00:59:37It's so funny.
00:59:38Oh.
00:59:39Traney.
00:59:40What?
00:59:41I'm sorry.
00:59:42I'm sorry, Tracy.
00:59:43I can do better.
00:59:44Trust me.
00:59:45Wait, what did you call me?
00:59:46Tracy.
00:59:47Who's Tracy?
00:59:50Who isn't Tracy?
00:59:53I'm kidding.
00:59:56I'm kidding.
00:59:57Tracy.
00:59:58Tracy.
00:59:59It's so funny.
01:00:02Trainee? You think that my name's Trainee?
01:00:07He's kidding. He does. He does that. Like, calls people Trainee.
01:00:11Trainee. Trainee. Trainee. Trainee. He called me Trainee. Trainee when I came out.
01:00:15He's a Trainee back. Yeah.
01:00:17Wait, so what is my name?
01:00:22Can we have the check?
01:00:23I love this part. Yeah, me too.
01:00:32That guy's as ugly as you.
01:00:41Trisha. Maybe it's Trisha.
01:00:44Hey, babe. Should I text her that?
01:00:47No, it's like 4 a.m.
01:00:49You're right. Only bad things can happen.
01:01:00Did you get any dude's numbers tonight?
01:01:02No. What? I was too busy dancing with you guys.
01:01:05Oh, my God. We were totally cock-blocking you.
01:01:08Yeah, it's okay. We had a really fun time.
01:01:12Yeah. Me too, man. Me too.
01:01:16What the fuck, man?
01:01:27I thought you were...
01:01:33Oh, man. I'm sorry.
01:01:35I should go.
01:01:36No, man. Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm...
01:01:37I'm...
01:01:38I'm drunk. I thought...
01:01:39You don't...
01:01:40I should go.
01:01:41I should go.
01:01:42No, man. Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm...
01:01:43I'm drunk. I thought...
01:01:44You don't...
01:01:45I'm...
01:01:46I'm...
01:01:47I'm drunk. I thought...
01:01:48You don't...
01:01:49I don't know.
01:02:19I don't know.
01:02:49I've never been with a man who...
01:02:51Man who what?
01:02:52I'm a little drunk.
01:02:55I'm lazy to put it in your mouth.
01:02:57No, it's not your fucking birthday.
01:02:59Just suck on it.
01:03:00Why don't you have Adam sucking?
01:03:02Jesus.
01:03:03Oh, fuck you.
01:03:04I was just joking.
01:03:10Why are you so mad?
01:03:11I'm not mad.
01:03:13Wait, he didn't, did he?
01:03:15No, he didn't.
01:03:16Did Adam suck your cock?
01:03:18No, he didn't fucking suck my dick.
01:03:19Jesus Christ.
01:03:20And you liked it, didn't you?
01:03:21No, just stop talking about it.
01:03:22How about that?
01:03:23Fine.
01:03:33You have one new voice message.
01:03:37First voice message.
01:03:39Hey, Chris, it's me.
01:03:40I can't believe that happened.
01:03:41I'm just, I'm so fucking sorry.
01:03:43I'm an idiot.
01:03:44I'm, I was drunk.
01:03:46And I just, I don't know what I thought.
01:03:48But can you just call me back, please?
01:04:00Message deleted.
01:04:01Hey, man, where the fuck are you?
01:04:28We're playing flag football at four.
01:04:29Uh, yeah, I, I don't know, man.
01:04:32Is Chris going to be there?
01:04:34What's going on with you two?
01:04:35He asked me the same thing.
01:04:36Well, what'd you say?
01:04:37I said, yeah, our undefeated season is on the line.
01:04:43Yeah.
01:04:44Yeah, I'm totally, yeah, man.
01:04:48Okay, see you then.
01:04:59You made a career of composer
01:05:05She needs you to steer, she's on over
01:05:11You need you to hear, listen closer
01:05:18It's time to come down
01:05:24And all the things you've begun to blend
01:05:32They cover the land of your office
01:05:38But I am the wall of all now world land
01:05:45I lean on the ground
01:05:51Victor, you are what we said to
01:05:59Who we said you were
01:06:02When we met
01:06:03Winner
01:06:08You are losing your loved ones
01:06:12Or your loved ones
01:06:14Chip by chip
01:06:16Bed by bed
01:06:17I'm really glad you called
01:06:22Yeah
01:06:23What are you doing for the 4th of July?
01:06:26Because you should come over
01:06:27My wife makes the most amazing potato salad
01:06:30And I could totally sneak some down to you
01:06:31After the fireworks
01:06:32Oh, uh, I don't know
01:06:34I think I'm going to go to a party
01:06:36Okay, really?
01:06:38Because you don't sound so sure
01:06:39Yeah, it's just, um
01:06:41I usually go with Chris
01:06:43My ex-fiancé
01:06:46But, uh, I don't know
01:06:48I don't think he wants me there
01:06:49Okay
01:06:50Well, does he own you?
01:06:52He owns you?
01:06:53No
01:06:53Who cares what he thinks?
01:06:55I do
01:06:56Oh
01:06:57So you still got a real bad for this guy, don't you?
01:07:00He must really know how to get you off good
01:07:02No, man, why?
01:07:03No, not everything's about sex
01:07:05Okay, then what's it about?
01:07:07I miss him
01:07:08So you know how you feel?
01:07:13Because you got to communicate
01:07:15Communication is the key
01:07:17To any healthy relationship
01:07:18Oh, really?
01:07:19And how would you know?
01:07:20How would I know?
01:07:22I've been happily married for 17 years
01:07:24That's how I'd know
01:07:25What do you say we go in the bathroom
01:07:30And suck each other off?
01:07:31How would I know you?
01:07:34No
01:07:36No
01:07:37How would I call that?
01:07:38I don't know
01:07:43I don't know
01:08:14It smells really good in here.
01:08:17What'd you guys have for dinner?
01:08:19Is that what you came over at 10 o'clock at night to talk about?
01:08:28I'm really sorry if you're ashamed of me.
01:08:32Is that what you think?
01:08:34I'm ashamed of you?
01:08:36I'm not ashamed of you.
01:08:38I'm pissed off.
01:08:39You kept a whole part of your life from us.
01:08:42How long have you known?
01:08:45I don't know.
01:08:46Like...
01:08:47Like 10 years.
01:08:4910 years?
01:08:51Oh my God, I should have known.
01:08:53A mother should know these things.
01:08:54I didn't even know.
01:08:55I just...
01:08:56I just knew that I felt different.
01:09:03And I didn't know why boobs were so cool.
01:09:05You still kind of told me.
01:09:07I wanted to, but I just...
01:09:10You always mentioned girlfriends.
01:09:12I thought you were shy.
01:09:14I am.
01:09:17I'm gay and I'm shy.
01:09:19Well, I don't care.
01:09:21I don't care if you're the gayest, shyest kid in all of America.
01:09:26You're my son and I love you.
01:09:27I love you, too.
01:09:39Just don't ever do that to one of my sausages again.
01:09:42Okay.
01:09:48Honey, is there anything you want to add?
01:09:53God bless you.
01:09:55I heard the R2s are getting the good fireworks this year.
01:10:10Shipped all the way from China.
01:10:13Yeah.
01:10:14I don't think I'm going to go.
01:10:16Did you forget to RSVP?
01:10:18Because, you know, you can't get the good ribs unless you RSVP.
01:10:22Yeah, that's what I hear.
01:10:25I screwed up.
01:10:30I screwed up big time, Dad.
01:10:33Just keep being yourself.
01:10:35And if you get hungry tomorrow,
01:10:38you're going to have some of my ribs.
01:10:40Okay?
01:10:41Let's do it again.
01:10:42So just keep being yourself.
01:10:42When we're going to have some of my ribs.
01:10:43Okay?
01:10:43The R2s are getting hungry tomorrow.
01:10:44Let's go.
01:10:45Okay?
01:10:45The R2s are getting hungry.
01:10:46How are you going to have some of my ribs?
01:10:48And if you're going to have some of my ribs are getting married.
01:10:49That's okay.
01:10:50So I'm going to have some of my ribs.
01:10:50I'm going to have some of my ribs.
01:10:51I'm going to have some of my ribs.
01:10:52Let's go, Chris.
01:11:14Our reservation is in less than 30 minutes.
01:11:18Okay, 30 minutes is plenty of time to get to Cheesecake Factory.
01:11:22We're ready.
01:11:23Let's go.
01:11:25I'm ready.
01:11:32Adam.
01:11:37Hey.
01:11:43Dorothy Cuda, wow.
01:11:45You look great.
01:11:48How are you?
01:11:49Very good.
01:11:50how are you good good gay now it's my mom didn't tell everybody is it did that
01:12:04happens to everybody right it doesn't do you want to go to the party
01:12:25dude did you really just do a casual slow-mo walk up in here with dorothy kuda are you straight now
01:12:30no definitely definitely still good thank god so you're gonna put in a good word for me right oh
01:12:34she's way out of your league nick what do you know you're with that idiot welcome to the hortus
01:12:43baby you like my outfit it's so sexy just like a burly benjamin franklin oh do you guys know
01:12:47benjamin franklin died of syphilis fact he did hey well worth the risk
01:12:54so do you guys know where chris is mm-hmm text him earlier but he's being flaky as
01:12:59shit so uh yeah i i haven't talked to him for a while but i'm sure he's gonna show up
01:13:04what's going on with you two guys dude it's freaking jess okay she's got him by the balls
01:13:08power of the pussy you have no idea how dangerous it could be have you guys read me beth
01:13:13where did you go can you please turn the radio down i can't have a bank
01:13:29is that a prius with two kayaks on it who the fuck cares
01:13:43i'm gonna save the whales bumper sticker what are you doing the cheesecake factory is on the
01:13:48other side of the mall do me a favor hand me that hockey stick
01:13:52i am not walking all the way over there
01:14:07chris i am sick of your
01:14:09the bulls**t get back in the car limp dick we're going to be late
01:14:19jessica i think we should break up forever
01:14:27sorry about this maybe not
01:14:30all right
01:14:45hey she looking
01:14:50no man
01:14:50hey i'm sorry about the uh other day with the sausage oh it's okay cookie
01:15:07go ahead take two okay today we're all on the same side who's gods oh no don't be silly americas
01:15:14do you think your gay lovers would want some cookies would you call us oh is that chocolate chip
01:15:20oh oatmeal raisin the vegetable of cookies
01:15:31here you go man thank you very much
01:15:33attention attention attention everyone i've got an announcement are the ribs ready no father
01:15:43o'malley they're not ready i promise you won't miss out this year okay if we could just get the
01:15:47music turned down a little bit i just want to say something guys you guys like know what this
01:15:54what's up chris
01:15:55what's up chris hey how are you my f**king wood here
01:16:00hey man game yeah well rsvp'd so where's jess ah we broke up
01:16:07what does that mean you're not gonna f**k her anymore i don't think i could f**k her if i wanted
01:16:10to that's awesome man you can do way better than jess
01:16:15what's that supposed to mean uh you guys weren't right for each other you didn't even like her
01:16:20how do you know how i feel you don't know s**t don't talk to me like that you said you hated her
01:16:23you told me you were straight a whole f**king lives and you tried to make out with me what
01:16:27when did that happen no i thought you were trying to kiss me man f**king get over it get over it i was
01:16:31sad and desperate i would have tried it with anybody i'm not anybody dude i'm your best f**king
01:16:34friend hey hey i'm so sorry that my being gay inconvenienced hey guys why didn't you tell me you
01:16:39were gay 20 f**king years ago i was three jesus come on the ribs are ready dad terrible timing okay
01:16:48i'm sorry look guys cheer the f**k up it's fourth of july we're here gathered today to celebrate
01:16:55our country's independence red white and blue ribs beer friends family whatever but the most important
01:17:02thing to me right now is that i don't want to be independent anymore michelle valentino
01:17:08will we stop f**king around and make me the luckiest man that ever lived will you marry me
01:17:17yes well good answer
01:17:19why do i do it i don't know
01:17:25you're gonna be an archer
01:17:33dad please put the ribs down
01:17:38holy s**t did that just happen
01:17:41yeah
01:17:47jesus man how long have we not been hanging out i don't know man a really f**king long time
01:17:54hey happy fourth of july
01:17:57what are you doing here uh adam invited me actually
01:18:03surprise
01:18:04uh sorry i don't think you guys have been introduced chris oh this is rachel
01:18:13rachel this is chris it's nice to meet you rachel
01:18:18you're gonna be okay that must have come as quite a shock to you you two look so happy together
01:18:33seriously
01:18:36this is gonna change everything hey guys what's going on did we miss anything oh don't worry karen
01:18:41party's just getting started may i have this dance mom oh what do you say rachel
01:18:46what just because you know my name now you think i'm gonna dance with you well it is a dance party
01:18:50okay let's see what you got hey nick you want to dance
01:18:57yes so adam when am i going to see you with a nice boy i don't know mom
01:19:16i don't want to see you with a nice boy i'm going to see you with a nice boy i'm on my way
01:19:27I'm going, I'm on my way
01:19:30There was a scar that shed my skin
01:19:45It tore me apart so I could begin
01:19:57I'm on my way, I'm on my way
01:20:00I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it, I'm on my way
01:20:03I'm on my way
01:20:18Can't believe we burned through $800 worth of fireworks in 12 minutes
01:20:22That's money well spent
01:20:24Yeah
01:20:27Look, man, I'm really sorry about everything
01:20:36No, you don't have to be sorry, man, I'm sorry
01:20:38No, you guys have been really cool about this whole thing
01:20:40I was stupid and I didn't really mean to
01:20:42I shouldn't have acted like it was such a big...
01:20:44I was just lonely and if I could take it back I would, but I can't
01:20:46It was my... Can we just forget that the...
01:20:53How did it feel?
01:20:55Honestly?
01:21:00I think I'm kissing my brother
01:21:04You sure?
01:21:05Yeah
01:21:06Dude, it's okay if you...
01:21:07No, I'm... Listen, I'm sure
01:21:11We good?
01:21:12Yeah, man, we're good
01:21:14We're good
01:21:15We're good
01:21:18Told you you wanted to fuck me most
01:21:24Never listen, Chris
01:21:25We'll listen, Chris
01:21:27We'll listen, Chris
01:21:28I guess I never met a real-life gay dude before, you know?
01:21:56I went to high school, a couple of guys I used to make out, but that was just for weed.
01:22:01And then one time at a party, they gave each other handies.
01:22:04That was just for, um...
01:22:07Actually, those two guys might have been good.
01:22:09Yeah, I think they were good.
01:22:10Yeah.
01:22:14Hey, Ronnie, I got it.
01:22:16Where are you, Sam?
01:22:17See that?
01:22:21Hey.
01:22:22Hey.
01:22:22Do you remember me?
01:22:23Came in a month ago?
01:22:25Yeah.
01:22:26I definitely remember you.
01:22:28Uh, is everything all right?
01:22:29Yeah.
01:22:30Uh, everything's great.
01:22:31Actually, until somebody smacked this off my car.
01:22:33No way.
01:22:34No.
01:22:35Seriously?
01:22:36Who would do that?
01:22:37I have no idea.
01:22:39Uh, I mean, you don't need it to drive, but if you want, I can put it back on.
01:22:43Just as quiet as the exhaust.
01:22:44Take a couple minutes?
01:22:46Yeah.
01:22:47That'd be great.
01:22:48Yeah?
01:22:49Okay.
01:22:51I'm Adam, by the way.
01:22:53Matt.
01:22:55Matt.
01:22:55Cool.
01:22:57Very cool.