How Do I Get My Parents To Respect Me?
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00:00Thursday is on whatever questions you have we have professionals who can step in and help you
00:07possibly we got rich the emotional support animal great shoulder to cry on and great cuddler
00:16we also have yeah Meredith MD over here I'll pretend all day she'll pretend all day and I
00:24do play an OBGYN on the radio it's Orlando all right uh let's see here uh out of the 941 how do I get my
00:33parents to respect me as an adult now that I've graduated and I'm working 40 hours a week I still
00:40live at home but I'm making my own money and I need them to see me as a young adult what can I do
00:45uh that's gonna happen over time and also getting the hell out of the house is definitely gonna do
00:51and I know I get it rent I get all the expenses and stuff like that start saving your money they'll
00:56start taking you seriously and seeing you as more of an adult when you start fully 100% taking care
01:02of yourself you um you can be uh seen as an adult in the household if you're still in the house uh if
01:09you just separate yourself from the things that kids did like don't be the person leaving the house
01:14crappy like you know I'm saying like treat it like an adult would now as a kid you had your mom and dad
01:20to do all your laundry and to do all that stuff now be a little bit more independent even if you're
01:25in the house because some people are in there because of financial situations if you're working
01:29that's cool but stay taking away that burden from them means that they start really seeing you like
01:34wow he's growing up like damn he's not leaving his shoes in the middle of this spot damn his room
01:40ain't smelling all crazy he ain't you know drinking out of my carton of orange juice and what just all of
01:46that bad stuff that you were doing you know put that aside so your mom don't feel that kind of
01:50pressure and she'll probably see you as a little bit more of a come up yeah definitely that's a good
01:54look for you right there all right what else we got out of the 863 my son I am very proud of got into a
02:00bunch of colleges but the problem is that they are all out of state and am I being selfish for wanting
02:07them to stay close yes but that's acceptable I mean it's understandable because you're the mom
02:13you gave birth to them but you have to understand that kids are going to eventually leave the house
02:18and they're going to eventually leave the state at some point whether it's for vacation or college
02:22and you should slowly accept that this is going to happen who's paying for college that's the
02:28question because if I mean if it's out of state I came out of state and my dad paid the bag to get
02:33me to come here like you know I'm saying so it's out of state fees are crazy and if you've done
02:38Florida prepaid you can get that back but pretty much if you're trying to help your parents like
02:44keep the roof on the house right you might want to pick the schools that are here I get all that
02:50but you don't want your child to grow resentment towards you just because you don't want them to
02:54go out of state for college yeah this is this is when they're supposed to grow up and become adults
02:59if you got it sure if you ain't got it an education is an education or get a scholarship
03:04right you know I'm saying do I mean there are ways but I'm just saying maybe they want you to
03:09stay not just out of the selfishness of being close maybe it's the fact that you know it's
03:15probably better financially for them I would think so maybe explain that to your kid hey if they want
03:21to go out of state to college and they got to apply for some loans or maybe you start here and then
03:26transfer out you know if that's a financial issue but I mean sometimes that is I don't know your
03:32personal situation I support the kid leaving and going out of state you're gonna have to prepare
03:36yourself mentally and emotionally I totally support it but I mean but the dad had it yeah
03:40yep um out of the 727 I've been dating this girl for almost a year and I have a dilemma I just found
03:48out that she's married I had no idea I feel guilty because I'm in love with her and I know we have to
03:53break it off I know it's going to be really hard but we've talked and she says she loves me too but
03:58she will not leave her husband she's making it hard for me to break it off and I'm dragging my feet
04:03is it wrong for me on my end because I want to continue the relationship I mean that's almost
04:09like a stab into the confession like you don't want to be sticking around and the love word being
04:17shared that's really messed up because I mean you can't trust a person to love you if they're telling
04:23you they love you but they're married to somebody else because when they become your main you're now going
04:28to be like damn but they just did the exact same thing to somebody else and so that's going to
04:33really put you in a mind screw yeah you know so I wouldn't put myself in that situation yeah when
04:39somebody shows you who they are believe them she's telling you that she is not going to leave the
04:43husband and you should just take that you were you were the side dude take the L you were the side
04:49dude didn't know it and that hurts even more but uh yeah just take that L and go find a new girl man
04:54because this one's not going to come for you all right uh let's see you got one um let's see my ex
05:01broke up with me five months ago after 12 years of being together I'm still in love with her but I
05:08don't know how to move on we were together since eighth grade yeah don't force yourself to have to
05:15move on to I mean it's going to take a long time you're going through it right now and you're going to
05:20be going through it for a while give yourself time to go through all the emotions anger disappointment
05:26like all the different steps and stages of loss and grieving that's what you're going to have to go
05:31through and there's really no exact amount of time some people get over it really quick and they say
05:36the best way to get over somebody is getting under somebody but that's not the case for every single
05:41person getting into another relationship too soon when you haven't healed yourself emotionally is not
05:47smart I would take this time and and just think about what you need and want in life this might
05:51not be healthy to hear but uh it might not be over you know if be patient because you had 12 years
05:57together since the eighth grade uh according to your text so five months of a break could just be a
06:05growth spurt you know I'm saying like there was some sort of change that she had maybe she's needing
06:09something different maybe you still acting like y'all was together in the eighth grade yeah like
06:14something needs to change so maybe there'll be a circle back there because you guys have had a
06:18whole life together or it may not come back but at least give it some time because you might need to
06:24learn who she is now or he or whoever and and vice versa you guys might need to learn the adult
06:30versions of you and then transition it into something else so that might it might be good for you to take
06:35a little bit of a sabbatical to now see if it's real because if you let it go and it comes back yes
06:41that's what they teach you in therapy that's what they try you let it go and it comes back to you
06:46that means it was meant for you so you got that all right let's see here um out of the 813 uh it
06:53says Orlando my son is 21 years old he's a firefighter EMT he's also has a second job at a clinic still
07:01lives at home with his mom I bought him a vehicle and he refuses to pay the pay me the payments because
07:09he says I bought it for him when he was 17 oh I love him to death but what should I do about this
07:16so you got him so wait wait she bought him a car at 17 and now that he's older she expects payments
07:22for the car but she bought it right she probably just signed for it put her name on it gave him the car
07:29oh well I mean you don't have I mean it's a car in his name because you can just take it back I mean if
07:34he's not being respectful he lives in your home I bought him a vehicle and he refuses to pay me the
07:39payments because he says I bought it for him when he was 17 I love him to death but whatever so yeah
07:45so she bought him a car he didn't have any responsibility but now he has a full-on double
07:51career and he's not wanting to pay it okay well first of all your son is being a little bit of a jerk
07:58right all right he's got money now he should uh chip in if it wasn't the deal then it was because
08:05he didn't have a job but you should explain it to him and just sit down and as an adult because he's
08:09an adult now and say listen you know I'm in a situation now where I'm older and I have a fixed
08:15income and I need you to contribute to this or we got to come up with some other situation but I can't
08:23continue to pay for it if he wants to keep it then maybe he'll say hey well let me let me
08:28negotiate let's go half yeah or let's do what maybe he can lessen the burden some type of way
08:32but approach him that way instead of making it a hey it's your car you pay for it and an argument
08:37just have a conversation and kind of share with him a little bit more information nobody who's worth
08:42anything wants to see their mom suffer yeah you know and I don't think if your son is feeling that
08:48kind of way then that's something that I've been taking that car away so quick you are so damn
08:52disrespectful I raised you and I'm now needing you to take over payments for and you have a full-time
08:57job and another job hell no listen uh this is one of those like very hard lessons this is one of
09:04those very hard lessons you have that conversation like you said oh and then if he's still not doing
09:09those payments you let that car get repoed right let that car get repoed and be like hey but the
09:14repo will go on her credit so that'll screw her in the long run so you don't want to do that I get
09:20that call your son a bitch you're acting like a little bitch no no honestly why not he is he he is
09:26acting like that be respectful of your mom oh don't oh don't way of doing it unattractive to
09:30hear a man doing this to his mother if that's the case sign the car over in his name so it messes up
09:36his name and if he don't want to do those payments then it gets repoed messes up his credit can you do
09:40that can you sign a car over to somebody okay well there you go there you go that's good sign it over
09:45to him take it off your credit then have it repoed there you go yeah or i go i know some homies
09:51it's a whole different repo it's a whole different repo but they can come and get it if you need them
09:59to come and get it like we can make them suffer a little bit yeah all the parts ain't nothing like
10:04having a 21 year old dude out there trying to date and he got to get a ride yeah seriously all right
10:08let's see here uh do we got one more um let's see all right oh go ahead i did 727 okay guys
10:16should i get back with my baby daddy he cheated on me with an ex a while ago but nope life is just
10:25easier with him nope oh you're taking the easy way out no no i mean soon i but meredith tell him
10:30okay so well i'm my advice might be a little bit different than yours i mean if you both want to
10:36be in a committed relationship i i feel like if you both want to really put your energy towards
10:42being together and you both are serious about it and no more side this or that and it's never going
10:46to happen again i feel like you can truly make the relationship work because people do make mistakes
10:50and they're young and do stupid stuff but that's it because if it ever happens again then that's
10:56totally it but you know and they have a kid together so i understand i like it when people actually
11:01want to because it's so easy just to throw away a relationship it is especially when you cheat
11:06on me when you cheat on me then you've shown me that you really didn't value me from the jump
11:10so that means the second time you also don't know what happened on his side or her side but
11:15she's also not saying if he's the one fighting to get her back if they both want to do it then yes
11:21if he's like i don't know if i want no then you need to work on yourself and go find somebody that
11:25will appreciate you yeah i was just gonna say if he's willing to change and he's willing to show you
11:31the change then yeah cool but if you're the only one that's fighting for this and you're just getting
11:35back with him at a convenience you need to move on says orlando hook me up with your homies
11:41go down to the old smart flea market go around the back ask for chet all right blow your horn twice
11:47when you blow your horn twice sit there if somebody comes and stands in front of you and winks
11:51that's him just pull up let him do what he do orlando and the freak show