How Do You Collect Money From Your Ex?
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00:00Hello, hello. It is Therapy Thursday time and we are your experts today.
00:04But before we get into Therapy Thursday, I have like a little post-it here.
00:09We got a winner. Oh, $1,000?
00:12Yeah, so if you didn't know, we give away $1,000 right now, five different times a day.
00:18And Wild 94.1 got a winner at 8 o'clock today.
00:22So Sleepy Hill Bus 1323, Chanel Kerswell from Lakeland, Florida.
00:28She is a winner of $1,000.
00:30$1,000. It's easy, just like that.
00:32She texted WONDER to 45911.
00:35She picked up the phone and she got $1,000 to splurge.
00:39So shout out to her.
00:40She's driving right now, so we couldn't give her a phone call.
00:43Now, it's Therapy Thursday.
00:45We have emotional support Rich over here.
00:47We have Meredith.
00:50Whatever therapist you want me to be today.
00:52And by the way, Orlando is out today and tomorrow.
00:55He'll be back on Monday.
00:56He's currently getting a BBL, if you didn't know.
00:59No, I'm just joking.
01:00He's out.
01:01He's allowed to take some days off.
01:02But yeah, so we'll get into our therapy.
01:05Do we have a call?
01:06We did have a call, but it looks like that she got off.
01:08I think you made her nervous.
01:10You called her baby when you picked, hey, baby.
01:12And I'm like, oh, yeah.
01:14All right, but we can actually answer her because she told us a little bit.
01:17So I'm not going to say her name.
01:20Okay.
01:20Because she was a little bit worried about her boyfriend.
01:23But she was saying, how do you deal with an insecure man?
01:28Okay.
01:29Do you want to take this?
01:30I mean, you're not insecure, but I'm sure you've dealt with insecurities before.
01:34You know, I think every man is a little insecure in some way or form.
01:38I'm insecure by certain things, like about myself.
01:41You know, I'm insecure about, like, my body odor or, like, I'm insecure.
01:46But no, it's very natural for a man to be insecure, especially when he feels like he's not adequate
01:52or he feels like he's not doing things up to par.
01:56Like, I felt insecure in my last relationship because I didn't have the money.
02:00I wasn't monetarily there.
02:01Okay.
02:02How'd you fix that?
02:03I think I got money.
02:04No, but I feel like for guys, reassurance.
02:09And I don't think it's just a guy thing.
02:11I think this is something for guys and girls.
02:14I think, yes, reassurance.
02:16One thing that you could always help, words of affirmation, letting them know that, hey, you know what?
02:21Like, you are a cute guy or whatever his insecurities are because there is a reason why they're insecure.
02:27You got to first find out what that insecurity is, whether it be looks, they feel like they are fat
02:34or they feel like they are not at the right weight.
02:37The level.
02:37They feel like, yeah, you know, one thing is just letting them know, like, hey, you know what?
02:41You're cute to me or you're strong for me.
02:45You're my man.
02:45I feel like grabbing his hand out of nowhere for no reason, not when the person is feeling insecure,
02:51but when he's the happiest or when you two are at a good space and just looking at him in his eyes, be like, you know what?
02:58I love you.
02:59I'm glad we're together.
03:00I'm rocking with you.
03:01This is what I want with my life.
03:02Situations like that will always make that person feel good instead of waiting for the insecurities,
03:07waiting for the bad times, and then you have to correct the situation, taking advantage.
03:12Or right before it's about to go there, you know, grabbing his hand or just like holding
03:15him in a hug or something like that can do wonders.
03:18You know what?
03:18We'd like to be hugged too.
03:19And we'd like to be told that we're pretty.
03:21So if you've got an insecure man, you know, just touch up on those insecurities and let
03:26him know that you love him.
03:28Okay.
03:28So I got this one.
03:29Please don't judge me.
03:31Me and my man been together for 10 years throughout our whole relationship.
03:35He's always been a drinker.
03:37We know his drinking is excessive at this point.
03:40I can almost say he's just a functioning alcoholic.
03:43He's had weeks where he wasn't drinking and those weeks were complicated because of the
03:48way he was.
03:48He told me last night that he wants to quit drinking, which is great, except the thing
03:54about it is he's super needy, childlike when he doesn't drink.
03:59He tries to be controlling and is obsessed with my every move because now he's not obsessed
04:04with drinking when his focus isn't on that.
04:06So what should I do?
04:07Oof, uh, from somebody that drinks a decent amount and, uh, also somebody that quit drinking,
04:15uh, for a while you did.
04:17Yeah.
04:17Uh, first you need to get him to a comfortable place where he feels comfortable without drinking.
04:23Uh, right now it's an adjustment period for him.
04:26It's probably going through a little bit of withdrawals.
04:28Also, also probably some insecurities because a lot of people, when they drink, they feel
04:33like they're not the same person.
04:34Yeah.
04:35So, uh, you need to get that person into activities, something that's going to, um, you know, play
04:42on those things like, Oh, if you were drinking and you were like a really good bowler or like
04:47a really good karaoke person, I'm just naming things that I did, but, um, like do stuff that
04:53he's comfortable with and that he can do without drinking, get him to a comfortable place where,
04:59you know, he feels like he doesn't need it.
05:01Right.
05:01Um, but as far as the part of him, you know, trying to get your every move and things like
05:07that, Oh, that's a conversation that you guys need to have.
05:09Yeah, for sure.
05:10You don't need my GPS every two seconds.
05:12No, for sure.
05:13But a distraction is healthy.
05:14Maybe some sports.
05:15Um, do you have one?
05:17Oh yeah.
05:17I got one for you out of the eight one three.
05:19This one says, how do you get over someone that you think was the one, but maybe now you
05:24don't really think so anymore.
05:26Okay.
05:26Uh, but you caught feelings enough to where you miss them more than you thought you would.
05:32Um, okay.
05:33So let me get this straight.
05:35You were in love with them and now you're falling out of love with them.
05:38You were obsessed with them and now you're not.
05:40It sounds like a love bombing situation.
05:42It sounds like you fell too hard, too fast.
05:44And by the way, this isn't me judging.
05:46I feel like a lot of people, this happens.
05:48Maybe you wanted it too much, or maybe you just ran in for the relationship, taking your
05:53time and letting things breathe.
05:56Sometimes letting love happen naturally, um, you know, that's a skill in itself and letting,
06:02uh, those feelings actually stay.
06:04Because when you do a love bomb, it's, it's just in and out and it's a crash and a hard
06:08fall and it's hard to get over it.
06:09So, um, if you're not meant to be together, I would say you got to cut that person off.
06:14If you know for a fact and the circle back, it could potentially happen.
06:18But it's healthier if it doesn't.
06:20Yeah.
06:20It kind of sounds like you got breakers remorse.
06:23Uh, you're, you're rethinking your decision to break up.
06:26Listen, don't spin the block.
06:27There's a reason why you guys broke up.
06:29There was a reason why you didn't want to be with that person.
06:32Spin the block.
06:33Don't spin the block.
06:35Even though it's easy to do.
06:36Try to, it kind of sounds like you're a little lonely at the moment.
06:40So, uh, try to go, go on a couple of dates.
06:42The best way to get over someone.
06:44And I hate to say this.
06:45Are you serious?
06:46Is to get under somebody.
06:46Okay.
06:47All right.
06:47So, how can you get over a relationship that you've been dealing with for 25 years?
06:57Damn.
06:57That is a long time.
06:59You have children.
07:00Yeah.
07:00Trust me.
07:01And you dealt with a lot.
07:03Cheating.
07:05Uh, lying.
07:06You name it.
07:08It's hard when you have children involved.
07:11How old are the kids?
07:14Um, actually, my oldest is 29 and he's been there since she was seven years old.
07:19Oh, wow.
07:19And, um, our youngest, she's nine and our son is 12 and we have a 17 year old as well.
07:25Oh, wow.
07:25Okay.
07:26So you have a whole family.
07:27Yeah.
07:28And it's very hard.
07:29And, um, it's like the same tune playing over and over again.
07:34Um, so as a woman, you know, you tried to put that bandaid on there, you know, to try to
07:41see if it worked and it gets fixed, but it gets to the point where you don't trust your
07:45stuff no more because you can't trust him.
07:47So do you guys live in the same house?
07:50No, we don't.
07:51Okay.
07:51So it's, how long have you guys been separated?
07:54Actually, I have been the type that, uh, always lived on my own.
07:59So, um, this whole time you've lived on your, on your own while you guys had like four kids
08:03together.
08:04Oh yeah.
08:05Oh yeah.
08:05I mean, there was times where we stayed together for maybe a year or two, you know, and we
08:09did it or whatnot.
08:10So it was like an on and off thing, but trust me, it's been 25 years.
08:14Okay.
08:14So I feel like since it's been this long and since you're calling us, I feel like you've
08:18probably talked about this with your girlfriends and family members before.
08:21And this, you've been told this before, but I think what's best for you is for you to actually
08:26pick yourself and be in a relationship with you.
08:29Maybe it's your time to learn about what you need, what you want and what you deserve these
08:34days.
08:34Um, I understand you have to keep communication with your, um, your ex because you have so
08:39many kids and a family together, but you don't have to talk about love.
08:43You don't have to have that very close relationship anymore.
08:46Just talk about the kids, talk about birthdays, and then you talk about holidays and just keep
08:51it at that.
08:51Learn to love yourself and date yourself and figure out what you want and who you need
08:56in the future.
08:57Because, um, you know, the second you stop looking for somebody else is when you'll actually
09:01find your true love is what, is what I've actually found.
09:05I freaking agree with you.
09:07I mean, I agree with you 100%.
09:09And it's to the time, it's to the point where it's about, it got to be about me now.
09:14Yeah.
09:14I gave and gave and gave and, and it's not, you know.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Stop, stop.
09:18It will break you down.
09:19Stop reaching out to him if it's not about the kids or anything that's necessary.
09:23Like don't, and don't call or text back if it's anything, him trying to get your attention,
09:27you're feeding into that.
09:29Correct.
09:30Correct.
09:30And it's always trying to vice versa with the kids.
09:33And you know, the kids are old enough to realize and you know now.
09:35So, you know, it's time for mama.
09:38I think so.
09:38There you go.
09:39Keep us updated.
09:40Let us know what happened.
09:40Yo, Meredith, I gotta give you a round of applause for that.
09:43That was a good one.
09:46I appreciate you, mama.
09:47Thank you for calling.
09:49Yes.
09:49All right, you too.
09:51Appreciate it.
09:51All right, out of the 813, I got, my ex left me to go back with his baby mama and he
09:57owes me $300.
09:58I want to take him to court for it.
10:01I want to know, should I let it go or pursue it?
10:04Cause I believe it's more about revenge for me.
10:08Okay.
10:08So, um, let's think about what's healthiest for you here.
10:11Yes.
10:12You can be angry at the way this person treated you.
10:15Um, but speaking of legalities here, it's going to cost you way more to take this person
10:20to small claims court.
10:20I think I could be wrong about this.
10:23I am not a legal expert here, but it has to be over like a certain amount of like thousands
10:28and thousands of dollars for you to even recoup your money.
10:30Even if you want to do like a judge Judy or something like that, I would just say, you
10:35know, it's $300.
10:37That sucks.
10:38Move on with your life.
10:39Don't you want to be happy and focus on that?
10:41For sure.
10:41And I, I'm going to be totally honest with you in the future book of toxicity.
10:48Yes, sir.
10:48One thing that a lot of guys do to try to keep the woman around is they try to hold
10:52on to something.
10:53And it looks like this guy's holding on to that $300 to keep you around, keep that contact,
10:59keep that hook in you so that you keep on having to talk with them.
11:02Do yourself a favor.
11:03Use that $300 and just know that, uh, $300 might be the cost of you knowing that you can't
11:10mess with this guy.
11:10Yeah, exactly.
11:11$300 was the cost of getting, getting rid of this person, this toxicity out of your life.
11:16And by the way, I have a girlfriend and her ex owes her like $16,000.
11:21So just be happy.
11:23Just, I'm, this is, I'm your girlfriend right now.
11:25Be happy.
11:25It's only $300.
11:26Okay.
11:27Stop talking to him.
11:28Um, and you know, try to find somebody that'll make you happy.
11:31Don't go into debt trying to get $300.
11:33That's silly.
11:34Hey, chalk it up to the game.
11:36Yes.
11:36And, uh, as much as you lost that $300, you lost a very toxic man at that.
11:41Right.
11:41And Rich is single.
11:42So maybe hit him up.
11:43Hey, yo, I'm right here.
11:44Hey, hey.
11:45Can you give her $300?
11:45If you're looking for somebody, I got $300 for you.
11:48How about that, girl?
11:49You got another one?
11:50Nope.
11:51That's it.
11:51That's it.
11:52All right.
11:52Therapy Thursday is a wrap.
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