The.Feud.2025.S01E02
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00:00I don't think we should sell. I think we should do the kitchen.
00:03Seriously?
00:04Hello, Mr. Magpie. How's the wife and kids?
00:06You and your son had some pretty intense arguments.
00:09You never mentioned Marcus.
00:11You stitched me up with that Indian kid.
00:13He lied about his confession, and we both know why.
00:15This isn't over.
00:16Whoever died here heard they were murdered.
00:18I mean, who knows what goes on behind these doors.
00:20At least with John and Emma, we know they're not going to kill us.
00:22Ooh, it's lovely to see you all getting on so well.
00:25And I thought the tension in there unbearable.
00:30Bye.
02:00Oh no, Mr. Mad Pie.
02:06You're going to ask the builders not to leave any ladders out in case you have to walk underneath it?
02:09There are worse things to be than a little bit superstitious.
02:12Like inexplicably refusing to sign a party war agreement.
02:15What are you doing today?
02:19I'm not sure.
02:22What do you get up to all day?
02:23I mean, I know you're looking for work, but doesn't it get boring just not doing much?
02:30Not seeing anyone?
02:33I see people.
02:34Hmm.
02:35Who?
02:35Where's all this come from?
02:41I really need to speak to Derek and Barbara.
02:43You're wasting your time.
02:44I don't think you're going to be able to change their mind on this.
02:46You mean you hope I don't?
02:49I'm not the enemy.
02:50I thought this whole kitchen thing was supposed to bring us closer together.
02:55You're right.
02:56I'm sorry.
02:58I love you, Anna.
03:00I know.
03:01It's just...
03:03It's just what?
03:04Do you really think Derek and Barbara won't budge?
03:11Of course they won't.
03:13They're ignorant.
03:14And intransigent.
03:16Why do you think Marcus laughed?
03:18What do you mean?
03:19They just disappeared.
03:20No one knows what happened to him.
03:22He hated them.
03:24And it was partly because they never listened to him.
03:26How do you know that?
03:27He used to tell me.
03:28When?
03:30I never saw you with him.
03:31Yeah, Bess.
03:32You hardly knew him.
03:32No, you barely know me.
03:39What was that all about?
03:41God knows.
03:42She's just a poor, messed up, lonely kid.
03:49You all right?
03:51Uh, yeah.
03:53It's just Alan wants to know if I want to go for a pint later.
03:57Do you?
03:58No.
03:59Not really in the mood.
04:01I think you should go.
04:01Maybe I'll text Sonia.
04:03See if she fancies a catch-up.
04:07I'm going to try and talk to Derek.
04:08Come on.
04:08We'll pause.
04:16I'm up.
04:17I'm up.
04:26Derek?
04:49Derek, Barbara, it's me.
04:51I just want to have a chat with you, if that's all right.
04:56Dad, it's me.
05:07Just wondering if you had any luck with the planning.
05:10Give us a call.
05:14Hiya.
05:15Hi.
05:16You're not working today?
05:17Me?
05:17Yeah, always.
05:18I'm on my way.
05:20We can't work from home when we fancy it.
05:22Oh, it's on your off.
05:24She's got a nice afternoon plan with her feet up.
05:27I mean, don't get me wrong.
05:28I wouldn't want to be a teacher for all the omelette in Spain.
05:30But with all the strikes and COVID, she's had more days off than John.
05:34And that's saying something.
05:37Yeah, sorry.
05:39I was joking about John.
05:40I know he's had quite...
05:41No, no, I think it's nice that you're going out for a drink later.
05:44I think you could do with the moan.
05:47Slow down.
05:47I haven't answered him yet.
05:49Answered him.
05:49You asked him.
05:51Well, he only just text, asking if I fancied a pint.
05:53So, yeah, we might.
05:55But I was with him when you text him.
05:58Must have been his fancy woman.
05:59Sorry.
06:04You know, I've got to stop doing jokes.
06:06Sonny's always telling me.
06:07No, no, you're fine.
06:08It's me.
06:09It's the extension, the builders, the plans, money.
06:11I'm just all over the place.
06:12I must have misheard.
06:14Have a good day.
06:15Yeah, you too.
06:17Hey, why don't you ask Sonny if she's free later?
06:20We could all go out.
06:21I could do with a drink.
06:22Yeah, sure.
06:23Let's do that.
06:24We could have to talk to them sooner or later.
06:45Oh?
06:46Why?
06:48They're our neighbours.
06:49Oh.
06:50Don't you see?
06:50There's a process.
06:52There are at least two objections to the little scheme so far.
06:55The longer we stole, the more likely they are to change their minds.
06:57I mean, it's not...
06:58They're not going to change their minds, Derek.
06:59They're going to build their stupid kitchen.
07:02And they're going to want to move our tree.
07:04And if they move the tree...
07:06Oh, shut up, woman.
07:07Just...
07:07Just...
07:08Get a grip.
07:09Emma.
07:23Hi.
07:24Oh.
07:25Well, is this about the petition?
07:26Yeah.
07:26I know you think it's trivial and petty, but having this street filled with cars and vans
07:30with no consideration for the residents or for someone who works anti-social house...
07:34I need to see your camera footage.
07:36I beg your pardon?
07:37Um, it's because I need just a little bit more evidence.
07:41Evidence of what?
07:43For the parking permits.
07:44Oh.
07:44I just thought that if I could see the CCTV evidence of the vehicles in the street,
07:49then I'd be able to make a more informed decision.
07:51And it may help me convince my husband and Sonia and Alan.
07:55So you want to borrow my footage?
07:57Is that what you're saying?
07:58I want to help.
08:00I just thought that if I could take it home and watch it,
08:03then if what you say is true, which I'm sure it is,
08:05then I'll sign the petition.
08:10What do you think?
08:11What do you think?
08:21What do you think?
08:51John?
08:52John?
08:55John?
09:21MUSIC
09:48Shit!
09:51I don't know.
10:21I don't know.
10:51I don't know.
11:21I don't know.
11:51I'm sure it's illegal for him to point that thing over here.
12:03He could see anything.
12:05It is.
12:06Well, on the upside, he might see a burglar if one broke in.
12:09Besides, he'd hardly be making a sex tape, would he?
12:12Oh, yeah.
12:16I saw Emma.
12:18She was wondering if the four of us might go out later.
12:21On a Wednesday?
12:22Yeah.
12:23John texted asking if I fancied a pint.
12:27Did he?
12:28Actually, it was a bit odd.
12:30I never seemed to think I texted John that it was the other way around.
12:35Right.
12:36Really, between the lines, I think she's a bit suspicious of him.
12:41Suspicious of what?
12:43Well, he sits about all day doing nothing.
12:47When I made a joke about him having a fancy woman, she didn't exactly laugh.
12:51Well, she wouldn't, would she?
12:53I mean, why would you make a joke like that?
12:56Remember when people had a sense of humor?
12:57Anyway, let me know what you think.
13:02About what?
13:04The drinks.
13:05Later.
13:06Oh, yeah, sure.
13:06Okay.
13:07See you.
13:08See you.
13:08See you.
13:24Yeah.
13:25Well, it seems to me you knew exactly what you were doing when you broke into the shop and stole the phones.
13:47That's as may be, but if you don't turn up to your hearing, they're not going to look favourably at the case, are they?
13:53Okay, fine.
13:55I'll see what I can do.
14:18Okay.
14:18This is Pavel who will be helping me.
14:43I don't subcontract, apart from the electrics.
14:46Well, that's...
14:49Hello, Pavel.
14:52Look, it's just I wasn't expecting you today, Lee.
14:57I mean, we still haven't got planning permission or the party wall agreement for that matter.
15:00Well, we need to work on the assumption that you're gonna get both then, don't we?
15:05Yeah, well, I'm not sure it's gonna be as easy as my wife thinks.
15:08I mean, what if the planning permission takes longer than you...
15:12Listen, I'd just put a big job back four months for this.
15:17I could lose a lot of money, so let's just make sure that doesn't happen.
15:21John, do you know how long that van's gonna be there?
15:35Not now, Nick.
15:36Well, you say that, you're gonna have a skip, you'll have the van,
15:39you're gonna have lorries delivering steel and God knows...
15:43You're gonna have to pass things over.
16:13Right, I'm done for now. I'll be back to start the build as soon as your missus gives us the nod for the planning and the party war.
16:37Right, well, I think we should all just...
16:38You're going to have to move your neighbour's fence and also have a word with them about that tree, will you? It's going to cause issues where it stands.
16:43The thing is, Luke, this is your payment plan as we move forward, so I'm going to need this first lot so I can order your steels and concrete.
16:51Also, there's a number on there for a port-a-loo company and a skip-hire. We'll need both.
16:58Can you just put it all in an email?
16:59Help.
17:14Terry here. Leave a message.
17:16Dad.
17:19What's happening? I just need to know.
17:22Please.
17:24Call me.
17:24Call me.
17:32Call me.
17:34Call me.
17:34Call me.
18:24Are you sure this is going to work?
18:31Have you got the cash?
18:32Yes, I've got the money.
18:34You can trust me. You know you can.
18:36Just do what you need to do.
18:44Keep in touch.
18:54Hello?
18:59Hello?
18:59Right. What have you been up to?
19:19Hi.
19:24Pornhub.
19:25Very funny.
19:27No, it's a case file. It's boring.
19:28Where were you? I shouted for you.
19:30I was in the garden.
19:32What were you doing in the garden?
19:34Thinking.
19:35Thinking about what?
19:37When did you speak to your dad?
19:39Sorry?
19:40He left a message for you on the answer machine downstairs.
19:42Said he needed to see you. Said he had an answer.
19:44What's going on?
19:47I don't know why he would call the landline.
19:50Uh, so that I would hear it?
19:51So that we could have a fight like we're just about to?
19:53God's sake, John, just grow up.
19:55Grow up?
19:55He fleeced us, Emma, your own dad.
19:57Look, he's my dad.
19:58You told me that you two weren't speaking.
20:02I thought we had an agreement.
20:05Emma!
20:06He's my father.
20:07I can't stop him from calling me.
20:09Well, what's all this stuff about him having an answer, then?
20:11An answer for what?
20:14What aren't you telling me?
20:17I could ask you the same thing.
20:20What's that supposed to mean?
20:23Have you asked him for money?
20:24No, of course not.
20:25Because I don't want a penny of his filthy cash.
20:26Not even the stuff he still owes us.
20:28Well, neither do I.
20:29So what do you want from him, then?
20:30It can't be his love.
20:31That river ran dry years ago.
20:32Oh, Jesus.
20:33And the builder's payment breakdown's pretty bloody punchy,
20:36so that would make sense.
20:37He's my dad, for God's sake.
20:40Yeah, well, he's not mine, thank God.
20:52Jerry here.
20:53Leave a message.
20:54Your dad?
20:56You need to meet.
21:03Emma, what's this?
21:04What?
21:05Well, it's the street group chat.
21:07Nick's just posted that you've signed his petition for the parking permit.
21:11Has he?
21:11Why would you do that?
21:12I haven't.
21:13I said I'd have a think about it.
21:14Well, why would he say that?
21:16And why didn't you tell me that Lee was coming around today?
21:19Because I didn't know he was.
21:20And anyway, your phone's been switched off.
21:22Oh, well, you know, I must have been charging it or something.
21:25Listen, Lee, he wants to get going.
21:28He's rushing us.
21:30We haven't even got planning.
21:31Emma, this whole thing's becoming a bit of a nightmare.
21:33I'm worried that...
21:34John, what is wrong with you?
21:37You never used to be this stressed and anxious.
21:41I don't know.
21:44I just...
21:46What?
21:48I suppose since I quit my job...
21:52I mean, maybe I shouldn't have left.
21:53But I hated it.
21:54I couldn't have that stress.
21:56I just feel so...
21:59John, it's going to be fine.
22:03You have to trust me.
22:05If we don't have that, what have we got?
22:07Just find out about those drinks tonight.
22:09Yeah, that's fine.
22:32You have to go.
23:04Alan?
23:11Hi, leave a message.
23:32Alan, it's me.
23:33What time are you back?
23:35Let me know if you want to do this drink later.
23:47Biscuit?
23:50Where did you go?
23:58Biscuit?
23:59All right, Biscuit.
24:02I don't need you that badly.
24:04Playing hard to get.
24:07Oh, hi.
24:08What are you doing out here?
24:10Just looking at my house.
24:13Thinking.
24:14About the extension?
24:16Yeah.
24:18Among other things.
24:21I was surprised.
24:22Me too.
24:25Is this what you want?
24:29Is it?
24:30Is it?
24:30I'm going to say something now.
24:49What do you think she would say?
24:50What do you think she would say?
24:50I'll see you tonight.
25:03Tonight?
25:04Drinks, remember?
25:05Do you do all your meetings in the park now?
25:23Well, they can't bug you out here.
25:26Why does that not feel like a joke?
25:29Come on.
25:30Who do you think I am?
25:32A property developer who will go to any lengths to make a profit, regardless of the law, since you ask.
25:36And one day, it could all be yours.
25:39No, thanks.
25:40I'm one of the good guys.
25:41Sure.
25:42Till it comes to planning applications.
25:45You said you had an answer.
25:46Yeah.
25:47Yeah.
25:48I'm really fine, and thank you for asking.
25:50Oh, come on, Dad.
25:52Don't play the happy family card with me.
25:54Well, you ask me a big favour, then you tell me I'm a bad father.
25:58I didn't say you're a bad father.
25:59You did.
26:00Ah.
26:00You got my message then, yeah.
26:03Couldn't get through on your mobile.
26:05Yeah, that was a dick move, and you know it.
26:06You knew John would hear that.
26:08Well, I can't call you.
26:09You know what I'm talking about.
26:12I like him.
26:13No, please, let's not do this.
26:14I mean, he's not exactly the man I'd hoped that my only child would finish up with, but...
26:18Okay, so what kind of man would survive?
26:20Because after all, Dad, I am here to make you happy.
26:23He can't hold down a job when he makes his wife go out to earn a crust.
26:28It's not the 1970s.
26:31He didn't send me out to work.
26:32I love my job.
26:33God, no wonder Mum left you.
26:35I miss you, Mum.
26:37She misses you.
26:39Does she?
26:40No.
26:40She literally moved to Australia.
26:42That's how much she misses you.
26:43No.
26:44Well, she left us both.
26:49So, do you want the good news or the bad news?
26:51Oh, God's sake, please.
26:53Just tell me.
26:54Well, the good news is you've got your planning.
26:56Really?
26:57Really?
26:58Oh, thank you.
27:00Yeah, hang on.
27:01You haven't heard the bad news.
27:03What?
27:04I'm afraid.
27:06You're going to have to do the extension and it's going to be a bloody nightmare.
27:09Shut up.
27:10So, how do I thank you?
27:14Your old man can't do you a favour?
27:16Not for free, no.
27:19Nice.
27:21Give Beth a kiss for me.
27:24Listen, sorry, sorry, Dad.
27:25I shouldn't have said that.
27:29Send John my best.
27:30They wrote to us.
27:58The surveyors, they sent us an email.
28:00Oh, I didn't get an email.
28:02They made the party wall award.
28:04Okay, well, I haven't...
28:05They've ignored our concerns, the light.
28:08They said we have to let you do as you asked.
28:10They said we have to let you move our fence one metre while you dig your foundations, while
28:14you build your wall.
28:16They said we have no choice in the matter.
28:18I can't believe this is happening to us, that you're doing this to us.
28:21Barbara, I'm not doing this to upset you, really.
28:23Upset us?
28:25Upset us?
28:25You have no idea.
28:27Just help me understand this, because I'm really struggling here.
28:30Why is this such a big deal?
28:32It's just a kitchen extension.
28:33We'll keep fighting the planning, and trust me, we have a case.
28:37Well, that's the other thing.
28:39The planning's gone through.
28:40You're not moving our tree.
28:48Do you hear me?
28:50Why?
28:51Have you got something to hide?
28:54We'll do what we'll have to do, Derek.
28:56Over my dead body.
29:04Barbara.
29:04You look nice.
29:20Thanks.
29:23Maybe I should get changed.
29:24No, you look fine.
29:25We're only going to the pub.
29:27Well, it's very nice of you to make such an effort for Alan.
29:29Funny.
29:31Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I'll try and make an effort for you?
29:35So it looks like Lee can start on Monday.
29:38Are you okay with that?
29:39What about the planning?
29:41We've got it.
29:43I don't know.
29:45Monday's great, if that's what works best.
29:48You're okay with it?
29:49Emma.
29:50It's your money.
29:52It's our money.
29:53We're married, remember?
29:55Promise me one thing.
29:57Sure.
29:58Your dad has nothing to do with it.
30:00Yeah.
30:01Of course.
30:02Great.
30:04Let's go and celebrate.
30:08John.
30:09What do you think of me?
30:11Where did that come from?
30:13I don't know.
30:14It's just been ages since we've been out together.
30:17I can barely get you to a greater takeaway these days, let alone a night out at the pub.
30:21We went to Sonia and Alan's the other night.
30:24Yeah.
30:24Sonia's.
30:25And Alan.
30:28Emma, what's wrong?
30:30I don't know.
30:31I just think maybe we should see other people.
30:33Other people?
30:35Oh, you mean other...
30:36You mean other friends.
30:38Why?
30:38What did you...
30:39Oh, God.
30:40Why would I suggest that?
30:42I don't know.
30:43Yeah.
30:43It's not exactly you, is it?
30:51Are you ready?
30:52Alan?
30:55Alan?
30:55Alan?
30:59Alan?
31:01I'm coming, my love.
31:09Let's go.
31:39Let's go.
32:09Oh, thanks for this.
32:24Not at all.
32:25I won't be needing it.
32:26And I won't be needing parking permits, but best of luck.
32:29Oh, and not only have I not signed your petition, despite what you've told the rest of the street,
32:33I won't be signing your petition.
32:35You said you would.
32:35I said I'd think about it, and I've thought about it.
32:38Nick, we're going to be needing builders, cranes, skips, concrete pourers, plumbers, electricians, portable toilets.
32:45And that's before we've even thought about the decoration, so it's not going to work for us.
32:50Well, here's news.
32:51You've got to get past planning first.
32:52Oh, yeah.
32:54About that.
32:55The plan's gone through, so that's that.
32:57Oh, and can you move your camera away from looking at our house?
33:00I'm a lawyer.
33:01It invades our privacy.
33:04Shane!
33:04Makes interesting viewing.
33:07We'll just have to see what the rest of the street make of it.
33:10What was that about?
33:19No idea.
33:20We'll just have to see what the rest of the street is.
33:50But you, you, you never understood what was going on.
33:57You're a fool.
33:58I'm not a fool, Derek.
34:00Please stop.
34:01That's why he isn't here.
34:02It's your fault.
34:03Oh, don't say that.
34:05You can't say that.
34:06Now these people, they're going to ruin everything.
34:09Everything.
34:11Well, they'll have to kill me first.
34:14Excuse me.
34:37Are you Beth?
34:38I mean, it was CCTV in a bloody cul-de-sac anyway.
34:55The man's paranoid.
34:57I mean, that's for the parking permits.
34:58You can go and stick them.
34:59That's what I said to him.
35:00I think he just thought that because I said I'd look at his petition,
35:03he just presumed I'd be on board, did you?
35:06No, I can't stand the man.
35:07No, me neither.
35:09He reminds me of my dad and his mates when we were kids.
35:11One summer, they set up a neighborhood watch
35:13and then spend every evening getting together
35:15and watching movies like Magnificent Seven
35:18and one himself.
35:19No way.
35:21No, it's true.
35:21And then all revved up,
35:23they'd go out hunting for vagabonds and villains
35:25on with golf clubs and air pistols.
35:27Who's making that up?
35:29Yeah, seriously.
35:30What happened?
35:31Well, nothing.
35:31They never found anyone.
35:32Apart from one time,
35:33they did come across some poor teenager
35:35who was trying to have a quiet spliff
35:36and they asked him so much,
35:37he ended up giving them all his weed
35:39and then they spent the rest of the summer completely stoned.
35:41The amount of times I've heard that story.
35:45Oh, it's hilarious.
35:46It's bullshit.
35:48Alan.
35:49Well, it's not true, is it, John?
35:52It's one of your embellishments.
35:55It didn't happen.
36:00Well, it's not a big deal,
36:01I just like the truth.
36:04Oh, come on, John, you're a great guy,
36:06but you do love to exaggerate
36:08and you like an audience.
36:09Hey, it's not a bad thing.
36:12I mean, they're pretty good stories.
36:16I'm just going to get the room.
36:23I'll get some more drinks.
36:31What's that about?
36:32God knows.
36:33It seems like there's something going on between them.
36:37Like what?
36:38I don't know, it's just
36:39when men talk to each other like that,
36:41there's usually something deeper going on.
36:44And how do women handle it?
36:46Well, I'd like to think
36:47we could tell each other the truth.
36:50Truth.
36:51Although my job,
36:52I have come to realise that people
36:53only ever tell you what they need you to hear.
36:56Truth is very overrated in my game.
36:58Yeah, I guess it must be.
37:01I suppose when you think about it,
37:03is it really even that important?
37:06Well, what else have we got?
37:10Come on.
37:12Are you serious?
37:23Cheers.
37:24Cheers.
37:29Oh.
37:30Oh, my God.
37:33You're all that day, you're all dead.
37:34If you say so.
37:35You're the boss.
37:36You're all dead, you're all dead.
38:06Cheers.
38:23Cheers.
38:26Hey, John.
38:27I was just taking a piss before, yeah?
38:29No hard feelings.
38:31Well, I mean, it's true,
38:32you do like to exaggerate.
38:34What the fuck is wrong with you?
38:35With me?
38:36Yeah, why would you say all that?
38:36I thought we were mates.
38:38So did I.
38:39You need to line up.
38:47You need to line up.
38:51Now let's get drunk.
38:52Tell you what, we are going to have a huge pleasure.
39:22party when this thing's done.
39:23You'll have no money left to throw one.
39:25Yeah, that's without the extra costs in parking permits.
39:28Oh, I'm just so relieved we're not moving anymore.
39:31You're all right, mate.
39:33Sorry about what happened earlier.
39:36You know, I think I'd really miss everyone.
39:39Apart from him.
39:40I've got an idea.
39:44Come on.
39:45Let's give Nick a little surprise.
39:47Really?
39:48Come on.
39:48You're going to do this?
39:49Yeah.
39:49Yeah, let's go for it.
39:51One.
39:52Two.
39:55Three.
39:56Yay!
39:56Good night in the end.
40:15No, thanks to you.
40:18What was all that about with John?
40:20It was nothing.
40:22You know, it was just banter.
40:23I was calling him out, that's all.
40:24But why?
40:26He's a friend.
40:27Isn't that what friends do?
40:29Besides, why do you care?
40:41Why do you think Alan was a bit weird with you earlier?
40:44He's just being a dick.
40:45You know what he's like.
40:46I don't know.
40:47It just seemed like you wanted to say something.
40:49That's fine.
40:50Don't worry about it.
40:50I'm not.
41:01I'm just getting that seat pass back.
41:03So I was right.
41:14You do want something.
41:15We should meet.
41:17Talk face to face.
41:18I knew it.
41:19I knew it was too good to be true.
41:21It's not for me.
41:22It's for the guy who sorted the planning.
41:24Emma?
41:25I'll call you tomorrow, and it better be kosher.
41:33Emma?
41:34You heard from Beth?
41:36She's not in.
41:37No, she's probably just out with her mates.
41:40What are you doing out here anyway?
41:48John?
41:50What's that?
41:50What's that?
41:50What's that?
41:55What is that on the back?
42:17One for Sora.
42:18Oh, no.
42:19Oh, no.
42:19Oh, no.
42:24Oh, no.
42:25Oh, oh, oh, oh.
42:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
42:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.