Haley embarrasses the Grumpy Old Troll at Best Buy, loudly accusing him of "fucking" her (as in fucking him over but saying things like, "Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms? Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna fuck me, Mr. Troll!") for offering to buy her the cheaper Nintendo Switch rather than the iPad, due to the cost of being very expensive. After she tries to get the police involved, in a rare moment of strictness, he refuses to buy her anything and takes her home instead by grounding her for her actions. Later, Haley appears on the Dr. Phil show to publicly accuse the Grumpy Old Troll of "fucking" her. The audience takes her side despite his protests that she is lying; and as a consolation gift, she is given Fu Dog's anus as Marie and Deadpool unveil it to the public.
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00:00Oh, I've got a better idea. Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms?
00:05Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna...
00:06I wanna be rubber.
00:08No, I wanna be rubber.
00:11And you...
00:11Me, Mom.
00:12Eric?
00:12You might as well go buy some cigarettes, too, because I like to have a smoke after I get good in...
00:16You wanna...
00:21That's the spirit.
00:23She's doomed.
00:25Me, Mom, just say so.
00:27Go ahead, here.
00:28Huh? Go ahead, Mom.
00:29Really, aren't they?
00:31She never learns.
00:33She's doomed.
00:34That's the spirit, Mrs. Fothering Girl.
00:37She's doomed.
00:39Let's check me right here in the best bet.
00:41You wanna...
00:41Because yellow is my favorite color.
00:44Remember?
00:45I love yellow, so I will be the sun.
00:48You're sun so bad, go on, Mom.
00:50Yeah, Gordon's probably run into this glitch a lot over the...
00:53I've met...
00:54And my craggy little rock that...
00:57Hey!
00:57That isn't gonna work.
01:01Stop crying, Eric.
01:03I told you, if you kept acting up, you weren't getting anything.
01:06But I told you I was sorry.
01:09You made me look like some sort of child molester in front of all those people.
01:13I wasn't trying to get you in trouble.
01:15Then why did you go outside to a police officer and say, help, help, my mom is trying to...
01:21Yum!
01:23Oh, f*** me.
01:24Oh, wait.
01:27I get it now.
01:28The F word is a no-no word.
01:30And I shouldn't say it around other people.
01:32I'm sorry, Mama.
01:34If you're really sorry, then you'll understand why you aren't getting anything.
01:40Well, no, that doesn't really have any logical sense, Mommy.
01:43Because I'm already being punished by not getting the iPad.
01:46Mama.
01:47Please, can we just go back and get the Toshiba Handybook?
01:51No!
01:52Well, then, could we at least pull up here and get some dinner?
01:56Because I like to be wined and dined after I've been...
01:58Quiet, so don't make a peep.
02:00No!
02:01Cuse.
02:02Today, on Dr. Phil, the tragic story of a little boy whose mother constantly tries to...
02:09Ah!
02:10Oh, no!
02:11I don't have any money!
02:13How will I ever pay for my ice cream?
02:17Him.
02:18I want you all to meet Eric Cartman, who's a very special boy with a very hard life.
02:24Eric, you say that your mom...
02:26And by me, I mean the chief.
02:2832 bits.
02:31Not the son.
02:34My sister Lola was not chosen to be the son.
02:38So hard.
02:39Does this happen often?
02:40Does she...
02:41Only one son in the school play.
02:44Yes.
02:44And that's me, Charlie.
02:47You a lot.
02:49Dude, Filipino hookers don't get...
02:50I'm sorry.
02:51So sorry.
02:52Please accept my apology.
02:54Little Bill.
02:55That is enough.
02:57Forbit!
02:58Oh!
02:59Now, I know this is very difficult for you to talk about, but where was the last time your mother...
03:04Well, let's not...
03:05Let's not rule anything out.
03:07Forbit!
03:08At Best Buy?
03:09Oh!
03:11Your mother...
03:11All right, Mom.
03:12The bathrooms are really far away.
03:14I can manage.
03:15Do you at Best Buy?
03:16Uh-huh.
03:17And people saw her doing this?
03:19Yes!
03:20And they didn't do anything?
03:22No!
03:23Eric, stop it!
03:24Eric, you come home right now!
03:36Ma'am, why do you think it's okay to...
03:38Should I pull it in?
03:40Nah.
03:41When you gotta go, you gotta go.
03:42Her son.
03:43I don't!
03:44She does!
03:45She does it all the time!
03:46She...
03:46On Christmas, she...
03:51And my birthday?
03:58You know, Mom, the least you can do is kiss me first, because I like to be kissed before I get...
04:02Oh, yes.
04:06Well, my name is Possum and I'm here to say...
04:09You...
04:10Who's Connie?
04:10I'm Connie!
04:11No, wait!
04:12What are we...
04:13Your son and you won't even give him a kiss?
04:15Boo!
04:16If I was gonna...
04:17My son, I'd kiss him first!
04:24Well, Eric, we have a very special gift we want to give you.
04:27An iPad!
04:28An iPad!