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Transcript
00:00No!
00:23Touching creep!
00:25Hey, hold on.
00:38Vodka. Neat. Please.
00:43Thank you. I miss having a man around to take her out the trash.
00:48You got dumped?
00:54Yeah.
00:56Sucks.
01:01Did you love her?
01:03Not sure it mattered.
01:05Her 50,000 followers loved her, and that's all she cared about.
01:08Well, if she's too busy counting likes to see you, she doesn't know you.
01:13And her opinion is shit.
01:18Okay, it is time for our lovely wild shackles to get up and wag those tails.
01:25Come on, wag them!
01:26Yeah!
01:28Oh, dude, this is what I was telling you about!
01:31Oh, girl!
01:34Oh, boy!
02:07How about a game of pool?
02:13Bet you 300, I'll win.
02:26You're enjoying this.
02:29Come on, get over here.
02:31Show me how it's done.
02:33Yes, ma'am.
02:33There we go.
02:38Okay.
02:43And then...
02:45Fire!
02:48How old are you?
02:50Never mind.
02:50Don't answer that.
02:53I love your accent.
02:55Australian?
02:57Sort of.
02:57My mom moved to Adelaide when I was a baby, and then we moved back when I was 16.
03:04Eight ball.
03:06Corner pocket.
03:13Boom!
03:15My Benjamins, please.
03:16You carry that much gash?
03:24Yeah.
03:25But that was sus.
03:27I feel like I've been hustled.
03:29No.
03:30No.
03:32You're a wonderful teacher.
03:33I wish I got his number.
04:00Your name.
04:08Class!
04:09We have class!
04:11Dakota, honey, wake up!
04:12It's our first day!
04:13I've already made coffee.
04:15Best of a daughter in the world.
04:19Mom, you need a shower.
04:21Yeah, I do.
04:40Oh!
04:43Oh no, this is humiliating.
04:45I can't go in there looking like I've bled all over myself.
04:48Not to mention, I'm nearly twice people's ages.
04:54Mom, I've got some clothes in my gym bag.
04:57I mean, it's a...
04:58Mom, yes!
05:03How'd you get to be so awesome?
05:09Alright, I love you.
05:10I gotta get you a class.
05:11Alright, bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:12Bye.
05:14Bye.
05:14Bye.
05:14Bye.
05:14Bye.
05:14Bye.
05:18Bye.
05:20Bye.
05:20Bye.
05:20Bye.
05:20Bye.
05:21Bye.
05:21Hi, Caitlin.
05:22Hi, Caitlin.
05:23This is Helen Brooks.
05:24Who's Brooks?
05:25Uh, hello.
05:27You weren't...
05:28You got my notice, I hope?
05:29Of course, yes.
05:31Now, you quit in order to pursue a degree at Warren University.
05:34Correct?
05:34Yes, that's right.
05:36I would like to employ your matchmaking skills.
05:39I'll continue your weekly assistant wage.
05:41I'm sure you could use some money.
05:42Oh, well, I definitely could, but...
05:45My son, Julien, is attending graduate school.
05:47You need to keep him away from goat digging and slutty bar types and steer him back to
05:52his charming ex-girlfriend, Gabriella Warren.
05:56Now, it's very important.
05:58Our livelihood depends on it.
06:00Sounds easy enough.
06:02Excellent.
06:03And if you can secure an engagement with Gabriella, you can expect a year's wages bonus on top
06:09of it.
06:10Oh, wow.
06:12You can count on me, Ms. Brooks.
06:14Sending you his contact card now.
06:16Good luck.
06:17That's a $40,000 bonus.
06:21Ow.
06:25I can't see this photo at all.
06:29Ah!
06:30Get the skit any worse?
06:45Well, if everyone could just sign in using the QR code before we dive in, please.
06:58No, damn it.
06:59No, no, no, no.
07:00Of course I would forget to plug in my phone last night.
07:13Excuse me, sir.
07:16Do you have a paper sign in?
07:18My phone died.
07:19It's you.
07:20It's you.
07:21It's you.
07:22It's you.
07:23It's you.
07:24It's you.
07:25It's you.
07:26Oh, really nice to see you.
07:40You're moist.
07:41Hmm.
07:42Okay.
07:43You're a baby.
07:46How are you, professor?
07:48I'm a TA, actually.
07:50I'm a grad student.
07:51I'm sorry.
07:52Why don't you put your name, email, and phone number down here?
08:04Ah.
08:05Katelyn.
08:06Why don't you take a seat up front?
08:11I want a good view.
08:17All right, into the snake pit.
08:29Good move.
08:30I bet it was really hard for you to see from the back.
08:33Wow.
08:34Respect your elders.
08:36I like your shirt.
08:39You are so brave.
08:44It's my daughter's.
08:45I did not plan on wearing this today.
08:47How old is your daughter?
08:4918.
08:50She's actually a student here, too.
08:52Shut up.
08:54So what are you like?
08:5650?
08:57Katelyn.
08:58I'm Mallory.
08:59You look really good for 50.
09:02Gabriella.
09:03Gabriella Warren.
09:04And that's her?
09:05Julian's ex?
09:06Seems awful.
09:07What would Helen want with her?
09:08I don't know.
09:09I don't know.
09:10I don't know.
09:11I don't know.
09:12I don't know.
09:13I don't know.
09:14Helen sees in her.
09:15Oh, how funny.
09:16Warren liked the school.
09:18Yeah, my dad donated a hundred mil, so they named the whole school after him.
09:25Wow.
09:26Wow.
09:27Okay, that's what Helen sees in her.
09:32Gabs, you're totally going to ace this class.
09:35Look at that poor TA.
09:37He's totally still simping over you.
09:40You know, I heard that he rebounded with some bar whore last night.
09:54Whatever.
09:55Now that he's slumming it, he'll miss me more.
09:58Welcome to microeconomics, everyone.
10:05Uh...
10:06Professor Nelson will be back next class, but in the meantime, we're going to take a quick poll, so could everyone hit that link, please?
10:23Let's go.
10:24Maybe for too.
10:25Maybe for two?
10:35See it, Gabby.
10:39Nice scoreboard.
10:45See you, Gabby
10:49Thanks
10:59You saved me
11:00You can keep him if you want
11:02Oh, no, I couldn't
11:04I insist
11:05As mine is yours
11:08I need to pee
11:11Caitlin, wait
11:13I can't stop thinking about you
11:16And now you're in my class
11:19It's gotta be fate, right?
11:22Crisis agenda's playing next week
11:23They are my favorite
11:25Come with me
11:26As my girlfriend
11:28I really gotta go
11:31I'll be right back
11:33Helen Brooks' son?
11:39Why would he be calling me?
11:42Better come back
11:43Holy hell
11:48That is Julian Brooks
11:49Fuck
11:56You hooked up with Helen Brooks' son
11:58How am I supposed to take this job now?
12:01He is young
12:03But he's beautiful
12:05Smart
12:07Rich
12:09Do you think she's meant to be together?
12:12Stop it
12:14It's too messy working for Helen
12:18I think I want to give Julian a chance
12:23Wake up, Caitlin
12:36Julian's an entitled rich child
12:38With no idea who or what he wants
12:40He's nothing more than a payday
12:42Mission Warren Brooks accepted
12:53Mission Warren Brooks accepted
12:53Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
12:57Mission Warren Brooks accepted
12:57Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
12:57Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:01Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:02Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:05Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:06Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:06Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:06Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:06Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:07Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:07Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:07Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:08Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:08Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:08Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows
13:08Mission Warren Brooks accepted
13:09Hey there! You are aside for sore eyes.
13:17Hi, Bobby.
13:18Come here, come here, come here. I want to see my little money magnet. Come on, come on, come on.
13:23You know, for an old broad, you really do know how to shake that tail and reel that dough in.
13:29Wow, thanks, Bobby. That means a lot.
13:31You did some really great sales last night, baby. Real great.
13:35But I got a question. When were you planning on cutting me in?
13:39What?
13:41Security camera. Oh, hey there. Yeah.
13:46Yeah, I saw you. I saw that John gave you a wad of cash and then you fucked on my pool table.
13:53Shit! Totally forgot about the cameras. Julian empties my brain.
13:59Baby, baby, baby, don't be ashamed. That was some hot stuff. I watched it a few times.
14:04No, we've got it drunk.
14:06This is what we're going to do. I'm going to drum up some jaunts for you and then we'll split it 50-50.
14:11No, Bobby. He would never pay for sex. I would never do that. It was a bet.
14:15I'm not a goddamn moron, Katie. Now, come on. You don't like this deal? I'm on a rivet dayshade.
14:21That means you owe me that two weeks advance I gave you.
14:24This is crazy, Bobby. That advance went towards my rent. I am absolutely not a hooker.
14:30Oh, yeah. And my balls taste like bubble gum.
14:35Ugh. You know, there are plenty of ways to earn it, baby.
14:41Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
14:46Hey, we're closed. Get out of here!
14:50Get the fuck away from her!
14:52I wasn't gonna look the-
14:54Wait a minute. You're the guy? Huh? You're the John from the video?
14:58What the hell are you talking about?
15:00Oh, let me go, you pretty boy.
15:02pretty boy. That seems like you can't do much
15:04from there. I got you both on videos.
15:07America's sluttiest home
15:08videos. I was just gonna fuck up her
15:10life. But I'll gladly put you down to her
15:12shit pile too. Yeah. It's messed
15:14up. She got us.
15:18Listen, you don't have the balls to off
15:20me. I know that. So this is what we're gonna
15:22do. Give you $10,000
15:23and that video, it disappears.
15:25I think you underestimate my connections,
15:28creep.
15:32You're going to destroy that hard drive
15:36and apologize to Caitlyn
15:37or else I make a call.
15:46You got me. You're pretty
15:48good. You know what? The price just
15:50went up. About $20,000 now.
15:52No need, Julian.
15:55We're good.
15:55You slutty little thief!
16:03You know, Bobby,
16:05a few nights ago, you
16:07partied with some very young girls
16:09with very bad fake IDs.
16:12I wonder if that's on
16:13here. I dictate the terms
16:15now. This
16:17comes home with me.
16:19I'm sure your tech-challenged ass didn't
16:21think to make copies. I am going
16:23to leave here, keep
16:25my money
16:27and never have to see
16:29your nasty face
16:31or balls
16:32ever again.
16:35Now you can suck it,
16:38scumbag.
16:39I quit!
16:44Holy shit!
16:46That was amazing!
16:47You were amazing!
16:49How did you know that I was about to-
16:53Julian?
17:09Julian, I-
17:12I need you
17:31Now
17:32Get in the car
17:33Your wish is my command
17:42Your lips, they taste like whiskey and vermouth
17:48But you'll get
17:50What?
17:54What's wrong?
17:59What's this room?
18:05Shit, I never told him I had a kid
18:07Now I quit my job
18:08And his mom's money is the only thing I have
18:10Caitlin, are you okay?
18:13Fuck, I need to get out of my own way
18:15And focus on paying rent
18:16This was a mistake
18:18No, no, no, no, it's not
18:20What's going on?
18:22That scar
18:22It's from my C-section
18:25I have a daughter
18:27Dakota, she's
18:30Also a freshman at Warren and shared
18:33I know, it's a lot to take in
18:37I'm sorry
18:38Wait, wait, wait
18:39I, um, are you married?
18:41What?
18:42No
18:42Look, I
18:45I can't deny that I feel something for you
18:49But
18:49It's never going to work between us
18:53I'm
18:53I'm too old for you
18:56It's
18:58Embarrassing
19:00For both of us
19:01Embarrassing
19:09Thank you for your help today
19:14Um
19:15Okay, eyes on the prize
19:27Forget about Julian
19:36Focus on Gabriela
19:38She broke up with him
19:39All I need to do is convince her to take him back
19:41Do you mind?
19:51Yes, we do mind
19:52I brought cookies
19:56Yes, leaves
19:58Oh, and suddenly I'm all amped up for economics
20:24Mmm, he is the whole meal
20:28I know
20:28Damn, they're not kidding
20:30Hello, all you beautiful people
20:32It's nice to see you
20:33I am Professor Nelson
20:34Back from my conference
20:36Apologies about missing the first day
20:38I guess you could say
20:39The demand for me was a bit bigger than my supply
20:41Sorry, just hitting you with a little economics humor
20:46Huey thinks it's a joke
20:47Katelyn?
20:55Um
20:57Katelyn West?
20:58Is that you?
20:59Yes
21:01Hi
21:02Oh, I'm sorry
21:06I might not be West anymore
21:08It's still West
21:09Or I made my way back out West
21:12Oh, yikes
21:15You, uh
21:15You don't remember me, do you?
21:17Ross
21:18My roommate dated yours
21:19Freshman year at Yale
21:21You went to Yale?
21:23Oh, he's the scrawny guy
21:24He was always asking me
21:26If I dumped Frank yet
21:27Ross?
21:29Yeah, I didn't even recognize you
21:32Wow, you look so different
21:34Yeah, late bloomer
21:39So, um
21:41So, you dumb Frank?
21:44Nice
21:46Let's, uh
21:47Let's catch up after class, yeah?
21:58Okay, what gives?
21:59Yale?
22:00Are you a low-key genius?
22:02Oh, it's not much of a story
22:04I went to school there for a semester for dance
22:07But I dropped out because I got pregnant
22:10You got accepted to Yale for dance?
22:13You're my hero
22:14Yeah, and you're mad pulling a sexy professor
22:17I mean, look at him
22:20Caitlin!
22:21You're on a mission
22:22Oh, you know, you and Julian looked mighty cozy yesterday
22:27You two would make a really cute couple
22:29Yeah, they totes were a super cute couple
22:31Yeah, they totes were a super cute couple
22:34It got stale
22:36I broke things off to spice things up
22:39Might be time again though
22:41Poor guy looks miserable
22:43You should invite him to the Crisis Agenda concert
22:47I overheard him saying how much he wants to go
22:50That's such a good idea
22:52That's such a good idea
23:02Fire
23:03Yeah, that'd be great
23:04I want to work on the VIP tickets
23:05You want to work on the VIP tickets?
23:07Yeah, VIP
23:08Katelyn
23:11Katelyn
23:15Katelyn
23:18I am so sorry for acting so weird the other day
23:22I understand
23:23That was a lot to take in
23:25Look, we made the right choice
23:27No, you didn't give me a choice
23:29None of that stuff matters to me
23:31I need someone more my age, Julian
23:33It matters to me
23:35What's going on here?
23:37Feels like I walked into something
23:39Homework stuff
23:40Julian marked my paper about Furbies
23:42He is too young to remember that fiasco
23:46And I was just telling her that since homework grades aren't recorded
23:50It doesn't matter
23:53Well, sounds like it's all settled
23:55Now, Katelyn, I have a bone to pick with you
23:57Oh, do you?
23:59Yes, you were about to leave before I could get the chance to ask you out
24:03For a coffee
24:07You know, to catch up his old friends
24:09I would never date a student
24:10That would be unethical
24:16Don't let me stand the way of our union
24:24Great
24:25Another hot guy you aren't allowed to date, Katelyn
24:28Aww, he really does seem into me
24:34And that shirt, rolled up sleeves, my kryptonite
24:40Okay, he's my professor, but coffee is harmless, right?
24:47Coffee would be nice
24:49Great, I can't wait
24:53Put your number in my phone
24:55Oh, shoot
24:58I think I locked it
24:59I'm sorry
25:00I'm bad with androids
25:11See you later
25:12Good day
25:14Yes, I love dance
25:15Well, I hate to harsh your buzz, but I had to quit my night job
25:31Thank God, that place gave me the creeps
25:33But, I got a new offer
25:36It's strange though
25:37It's not a strip club, is it?
25:38No
25:40No, but it is with my old boss, Helen Brooks
25:43She wants me to play matchmaker to her son, Julian
25:47What? That's weird
25:49Yep, it's with his ex, Gabriella Warren
25:53Her dad is a client and he's loaded, so I'm sure she wants to keep him
26:08Cody
26:10You okay?
26:12I'm fine, I got to realize I'm a dance class
26:14Hmm
26:16I could help you, I want to help you
26:19I could get close to her
26:22Yeah
26:24Yeah?
26:25Yeah
26:26How about upgrading that coffee to a nightcap?
26:32Tempting, but I really need to catch up on sleeve coffee next Saturday?
26:38Six reasons you should reconsider
26:40Yeah
26:47Yo, Caitlin
26:49Hm? What? Sorry
26:51I have an idea
26:53So, it's clear that Gabriella has no dance training, it shows
26:56I was thinking maybe we could ask if she wanted a coach
27:00We could get close to her, gain her trust
27:03Make Julian look good, whatever
27:05Hmm
27:07Not that Julian needs in that department
27:15Mom
27:17Sorry, got distracted
27:18Sound good?
27:19That sounds like a great idea, love
27:25Nope
27:26Making it happen
27:27Julian, you need to move on
27:29This is inappropriate
27:30No means no
27:34No, please don't
27:39Seriously, chat
27:41Am I cooked?
27:42This hurts like a mother
27:44Nothing worth having comes easy
27:46Gabs, you got this
27:48You're slaying
27:50But you do need both of your hands
27:53Fine
27:55Keep it a hundred hotties
27:56Remind me of Julian
28:06He was telling me to get off my phone
28:09I don't think it gets me
28:11Yet somehow he can read my mind
28:17You two probably have more in common than you realize
28:21You do need to stay present to get to know somebody
28:24You know what I don't get?
28:26You're basically a full-time influencer
28:27What's up with all this pointless swag?
28:29Pop off now
28:31You sound like my dad
28:33Yeah
28:36It's not always about a quick buck
28:38No
28:40Dancing
28:42Is about the soul
28:43See, I wanna do that
28:55I can't even
28:58You guys are so lame
29:08Hi
29:10It was better not be for me
29:12That will kill all chances with Gabriela
29:17Flowers?
29:18Yeah, I've been watching your stream
29:20Didn't know you were a fan
29:22I'm enjoying your journey
29:25I tried to DM you but
29:27No response, so here I am
29:29The old-fashioned way
29:31Aw, you're so sweet
29:33Wanna hang out after?
29:35We're almost done
29:36Uh, Boba?
29:38Oh, wouldn't love that
29:40Oh, um
29:41You guys don't mind, do you?
29:43Oh, Julian, this is Dakota
29:45She's the best ever
29:47Hmm
29:50Long as we stay focused
29:52Do you wanna practice your jeté again?
29:53Do you wanna take it again?
30:07Yeah
30:11Really think about kicking high
30:13With that leading leg
30:15And gliding across the floor
30:17Mom, don't you have a date?
30:19With a sexy professor tonight?
30:21It's not a date, we are catching up over coffee
30:23Oh, why were you refreshing after Caitlin after class?
30:26It seems urgent
30:28Oh, um, well I met Caitlin
30:30For tutoring
30:32And Julian didn't think it was fair to tutor me alone
30:35So he suggested we all have a student group
30:36Mm-hmm
30:38I love that idea
30:40Let's do it
30:42Perfect
30:44I gotta go, kids
30:45Oh, uh, Caitlin
30:46Wait up
30:48Wait up
30:50I love that idea
30:52Let's do it
30:54Perfect
30:56I gotta go, kids
30:58Oh, uh, Caitlin
30:59Wait up
31:01Wait up
31:03Wait up
31:04Wait up
31:05Wait up
31:06Wait up
31:07Wait up
31:08Wait up
31:09Wait up
31:11Wait up
31:13Wait up
31:15Gabriela is sweet
31:17She's closer to your age
31:19And she's learning to live off her phone
31:22I mean, that was the issue, right?
31:24Please don't screw this up by chasing after me
31:27Are you really saying Professor Nelson?
31:31He's kind of a jerk
31:32No
31:34Maybe
31:36That's between me and him
31:38Back off
31:39Or I'll have to report you to admin for harassment
31:41And
31:42I'll have to report you to admin for harassment

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